[buprenorphed]

Hey everyone, i have been scanning some opiate related forums today for Buprenorphine related information, you seem a nice bunch so i thought id sign up and post my case here.

Im 21 and have been on a maintenance 'program' of Subutex since i was 16/17 which of course means regardless of my previous DOC habit i have now a 4+ year Bupe dependance. My dosage has ranged from as little as 0.2 (have tried tapering many times and even rehab once) to 28 mg (Which is a pretty absurd dose).

I had always struggled with frequent relapses during this time but the last Year and a half-Two Years i had stayed on a (rather high) dose of 24mg, but in that period of time i have been 'clean', at least of all opiates/opioids excluding my Subs (I had never managed a month before that) so i stayed on this 24mg dose.

NOW, 2-3 week ago i had a relapse to my DOC (IV Heroin), I have been planning the jump back to Subs for the last week and my last hit of gear was yesterday at 10 PM. I am aware that after short acting opiates like Heroin you must wait 12-24 hours before taking your bupe or youll be kicked into full on withdrawal instantly.

This morning i woke up about 7 pretty sick: Yawning,Runny eyes,RLS, aches and sweatiness, that sort of thing, but it hadnt been even 12 hours so i had to wait. After about 2 hours of this somehow i managed to fall back asleep but woke up almost immediately from (if you'll excuse me) ejaculate going on my stomach. I changed and sat there waiting. I decided id wait 12 hours exactly.

At 10 am roughly i put 2 8mg Subutex under my tongue (2/3 my usual dose) and waited. I thought i was getting better... but around 10.30-11 BAM! On top of the aforementioned symptoms the single worst case of the hot/itchy/burning/electrifying insides kicked in. This has always been the symptom ive had the most trouble with. All the other symptoms were maxed up to an incredible degree and im glad my girlfriend didnt touch me around that time as the coating of sweat must have been an inch thick.

Long story short, after a time 10/30 mins of punching the air/myself/the bed i started calling people. For benzos,gear, ANYTHING. My H dealer said he was on his way and eventually arrived with 2 bags (0.2-0.3 each) What sucks is that the ULTRA-unbearable side of things that had made me desperated enough to call my dealer was by this time subsided and i was dealing with the 6 on a scale of 10 w/d rather than 11 outta 10. Anyways i knew the H would be mainly blocked by the Bupe but IV'd it anyway. About 2/3 of it anyway. It took the edge of even more. This was around 1-2pm i believed.

Now its around 7 and im wondering what to do, i have what would normally be a decent hit sitting there, im sure i dont need to explain anyone what thats like, i have a huge dose of subs that would block it. I have enough subs for a loooong time.

Im wondering what to do? Im really confused going back and forwards, this is a huge and obnoxious post so i doubt itll be read but if i dont get any help at least i get to share this.

At around 10am tomorrow ill be able to do that hit and actually get a little buzz. Or at 10 am tomorrow i could take my subs without risking precipitated w/d's (take how much of them?)
Or i could do the hit now which would be like doing pisswater and would move the time i can take my subs safely from 10am tomorrow to abou 7pm tomorrow. But if i dont do it now i will want it in the morning, itll be hardly satisfactory and i will still have to wait 16-24 hrs for my bupe, most of which will be spent in w/d.

Right now i dont feel good but i dont feel bad either. I still have RLS and alternating hot/cold chills/sweats.And because this Bupe was the first in weeks it may come out quicker.
If i throw this gear away it'll be the first time i have done such thing, it feels physically impossible but it may be the only option. But what if i get ill before its safe to take my bupe?

Please if youve read all this at least give me your opinion, it'll always be apreciated. Even if its late after the fact.

Thank you.

[intelmetal]

Don't do the H, that is just common sense. Wait until your in WD and start taking your subs. You know what is best for you, come on ! The subs will at least give you some quality of life. Throw the gear away!!!
IWANTOUT

to live my life and to be free !

[RubyDean]

If you continue to talk to your dealer this is all a moot point. Do you want to be clean?
Put it this way, if you do what you have left something could go terribly wrong...or you may get some infection, who knows. Throw it away, and start getting clean. That is why we are here, we all want to be clean. Take back what the devil stole. Wait it out for the dreaded withdrawals and start taking your suboxone. Do the taper and get free. 'More will be revealed...'

[Stellazio]

Buprenorphine is much better to manage life everyday rather than attacking your veins with who knows what ur 'gear' dealer is cutting the ******** with.
Ur gonna go through some pain because you cheated on the bupe.

Your body will let you know, theres no hiding the secret girlfriend, H , as bupe will find out, and it will retaliate remorsefully. Deal with the pain, throw away the H, get on the subs again and see the top of the hole ur in, and the light it brings. You know you don't want to be going in circles ur whole life. Get back on the subs, and if you dont want to taper off those, atleast you'll have the comfort and security of knowing that you wont have to run around trying to get more random opiates on a daily strugle to feel normal. Then someday when you feel comfortable and emotionally stable, try tapering slower. These are my words of wisdom. From 1 sub user to another.


Also how do you afford all those subs? You have them insured?24-28mg a day is a lot of cash it seems.