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the suboxone diaries. a day to day account for those quitting suboxone.
Have you tried imodium AD for your stomach????......Dave
i have been using 4 generic every other day. should i switch to the real imodium? thanks
went to an after hours clinic. doc gave me bentyl and phenadoz supps. hope this helps my belly
Hang in there and see if this helps......Dave
i am now feeling like a new person!! my stomach has finally settled.i even have some energy today. the meds really did help!
DAY 8,9, and 10 of the Suboxone Diaries...
hey you guys
i have been really busy but also super tired in the process. i tried not working out of running for the past 3 days and tried doing things that kept my mind occupied. all is well in my camp for the most part. i also have the stomach problems... my appetite is there but i fear the aftermath if you get what i mean. i am constantly going to the bathroom. i have read over and over that your energy comes back somewhere within the 3rd week of this process. i can feel each day it getting a little better and though i know its probably not smart i do drink red bull and coffee for a little pep and inspiration. but the crash is rediculous. i am going to run on the treadmill now at 10:45 at night because i feel the need to exercise.
sorry gotta run
i just went for a two mile walk. my stomach is better but not totally well. i see my psych. doc on tues. i'll see what he says. i am not going to use,tho.
i do not want to go thru this again!! the trazadone helps with sleep. thank goodness i have that. 3 weeks you say?? almost there! you can mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org peace
DAY 11,12,13,14,15, 16 & 17 of the Suboxone Diaries...
sorry its been so long to get back online i have been super busy and super high on life... i work out and run just about every day again. the energy thing is the last part of this journey that has seemed to linger into the end of this week. i wake up pretty weak... but then again most of the sober world does right? i guess us former addicts or current addicts are so used to the instant high and then BOOM we are ready to rock n roll for the rest of the day. but with absolutely nothing in your system its a little bit, no alot different when you wake up. it takes a little bit to get going. sleep has been pretty decent. i dont get deep sleep but i do sleep. mostly cause im so tired from exercising and my whole day. going on a fishing trip this weekend and i am just going o sit back and take it all in the way its meant to be taken in.... clean as hell... and amazing... i am so glad i went through this... bkfizz i hope all is well in your life and you are still in the game. i know you are and i know you can do it. ill try to keep in touch with you guys... thank you all again for helping me and talking to me when the times were rough.
That's great news, everyone hang in there and do your walking and eat the high protien foods.......Dave
oh yes, i am still clean and plan on doing well. i am still walking everyday. my stomach feels alot better. everyday i feel better. i love having a clear mind. i do not miss having to count pills, find pills, or go to doctors. i guess i wanted this for a long time but, didn't know how to do it. thanks to all that have given me the confidence to keep going! my family is 100% behind me but, they do not know all the aches and pains! ne-have fun fishing--catch a big one! about suboxone-i have been told that after i was weaned down from the 2 mg. that the withdrawls are psych. not physical, i do not believe that!
I don't believe it either.I have a friend and his methadone doctor actually told him that he should be able to walk off 200mgs\day of methadone with absolutely no withdrawls!!!!Can you imagine that???? I don't know what that doctor was smoking but what an assinine statement to make.....Dave
How can we educate these doctors?i already told mine and it didn't seem to matter.i have even read on here and other places that they think the same. can i do anything?
So, I'm interested in seeing how this goes for you. I started using oxycontin when I was 19, went to morphine, then herion, then back to morphine. I was on the methadone clinic for about 8 months. 110 lbs. body weight/130 mg. dose. I'll agree w/ you that methadone is not the way to go. Went back to morphine for another 2 years, got pregnant, stayed clean for 9 mine months, then back to morphine and methadone. I got my dose down to about 30 mgs. of morphine or 20 mgs. of methadone a day, but just couldn't quite. Still broke sick, etc. Had to do better for my son. Went to the Dr. & got on suboxone. 8 mgs 2x daily. (I usually take about 12 mgs.) I would like to quit sometime, but now I know I'm not stable enough to stay off other harder stuff if I quit. Curious as to how bad the detox actually is. Anyways, good luck.
Maybe it's a regional thing. All the doctors I ever saw in rehab said methadone withdrawals are real and very bad. Even on a low dose. My psychologist mentioned something to me called revia. I think it's not any kind of opiate anything, but it is supposed to help control cravings. I was mildly curious. But, not as I need to know right now thing because like I said I barely stable on suboxone now. Nite all.
I was there
Keep up the good fight NELB I know I'm not the only one proud of you out here! I was on methadone for years, detoxed to 12 mgs. then entered a Suboxone program. Started on 4 mgs (2 x 2 mgs. tabs) for roughly a year then taped myself to 1/4 of a 2 mg. tab (1/2 mg.) for approx. a month. After that as you would say, "I NELB" It sounds as though your doing all the right things, especially staying healthy and keeping your mind busy to keep from feeding into any cravings that may arise. Again keep up the good work!
Dave-I read on another place where you said to try to keep on subs for a year.Even tho my doc said i had a "heavy addiction", he would only keep me on it for a short time. Now that i am off, i don't want to go back on. I know only limited docs can do the subs, i wonder why they are so different?I do have carvings but, all i do is think about my w/d from subs and i don't have them anymore (even tho i have gone thru w/d many, many times) thanks
You have to remember that treating addicts with methadone and buprenorphene is relatively new to the main stream.So your going to have doctors that treat patients differently.It's going to take a few years before a successful treatment plan is worked out.You're always going to stubborn doctors who will do it their way and no other and thats fine......Good luck.....Dave
Day 18, 19, 20, 21 and 22 of the Suboxone Diaries....
let me start by saying that fishing and tubing this weekend was fun while it lasted... i got super sun burned on saturday and i have spent the last 2 days in hell... oh my god am i in pain... though none of this pertains to the sub thing it does tell me a little something about myself... in the past whenever i would get sick, or get hurt it was immediately more painkillers... but not this time. it was weird because at my worst point of all the hurting i seriously contemplated the thought but immediately rejected by thinking to myself. what is worse? the sunburn or withdrawls... ad the simple answer is withdrawls... NEVER AGAIN with that. NEVER. so as this sunburn thingy goes away i will be getting back to exercising and running alot again. it sucks to not be able to move my whole upper body cuz it hurts so much. i have blisters in my shoulders... it is definately the curse of being a white boy...
either way... im glad i didnt have doc telling me how to go about the sub thing. they prolly would have killed me. hahaa. they are definately wrong about their prescribing in the upper midwest too.
ill get back to you guys in a day or so... thanks again and stay strong.
I am progressing tons better.Only have diarrhea (sorry), and have trouble still sleeping.Also stilll have the sneezes. My stomach finally quit being on fire. I'm still walking between 3-6 miles a day. I almost think i can soon go find a job. I quit my assistant manager retail job after hospital. I can't imagine working at a job thru all this!I know alot of you have and i don't know how you did it.
Thanks to all who have supported me! Also, how long has suboxone been used?
NELB-I'm so proud you are doing so well!
Thanks for support. Once you get labeled as an addict, you pretty much get labeled as a screw up so support is nice. So, is it hard to stay clean with nothing? Honestly, though I could worry myself sick about what the future holds all day and night. So, I'm just trying to focus on the things I can do now. Again, thanks.
Thank you to everyone for their support. I am doing well. Not alot of energy but, still walking 3-6 miles a day. I will even start looking for a job this week or next. Thank Goodness for suboxone. I know i would still be using. One thing i have noticed tho, is i thought i was using alot less than i really was. Now that i am clean, i was using alot longer and a lot more than i thought.Funny how i see things more clearly now. Thanks again to all that supported me. And, many prayers to all of you trying to get clean and all that are clean.
Best of luck. You have really accomplished something. I wonder if people who haven't struggled w/ addiction realize how hard it is to get clean and stay that way.......
realizing I had an addiction
I remember 6 years ago when I was still actively abusing the weekend that I realized I was going to die if I didn't do something.
It was late April and a friday.I was taking 100mg ms contin pills at the time.I came across some Mirinol which is the THC pills also some 10mgs valium which I hate but bought them anyway.So by saturday morning I was pretty much in a opiate blackout.Ihad taken the mirinol and valium which I later found out can be a deadly combination.Saturday late afternoon I remeber buying 150mgs of liquid methadone and some 100mg morphine pills.I don't remember when I took either of those.By Sunday evening I was at the bar drinking beer (I had a golden rule and that was never to mix drugs and alcohol).The last thing I remember was trying to get money out of an ITM.I woke up Tuseday late morning wondering what the h ell was going on.When I got the story from a few people I broke down and cried because I knew how close I had come to dying that weekend.Thankfully I was with friends that got me home sunday night.
I only remember bits and pieces of that weekend and even right now I have that awful knot deep in my gut just from recall.
I decided that I had to do something about my addiction as I knew I was on a self destruction trip.
That was April and by July of 2002 I was on methadone matinance and on the road to recovery.
I did alot of damage to my marriage,my relationship with my kids and my friends.It's taken a long time to get things strait again and alot of work.
I will never forget what I did to myself that weekend or the people I could have killed as I drove until sometime sunday.The worst days of my life were that weekend.
Now I try and help out anyone that I can.I was actively addicted for 23 years and I've seen and done alot which I use here and other forums to try and help out anyway I can.I don't really know why I come to these sites everyday the way I do but I feel I have to for some reason.Whatever it is it makes me feel good when I read that someone is on the road to recovery and that long dark journey of opiate addiction is over.
I wish everyone here the best and hope you can all some day be on the road to recovery because as addicts we will live with the fact that we are addicts for life and that we have control of it right now and we need to keep that control everyday for the rest of our lives....Have a great day everyone.....Dave
its been a long time since i checked in on how yall are doing... bkfizz... mvpt (dave) how have things been?
This is great support. I've been clean for 12 days off OC using seboxin, and I just wanted to make sure some people realize that not everyone becomes addicted to seboxin.
I just use seboxin to get off OC, and as soon as I'm through the OC withdrawals, then its nothing to quit the seboxin. (Note I use EXTREMELY low doses of seboxin so that might be why.)
Me and my husband have been taking suboxone for about 2 years now... currently I am taking about 2 mg per day .. my husband is taking about 1 mg per day. While he encourages us to strive to be suboxone free, he really emphasized that it is all about changing the way your mind works. Otherwise you could expect it to relapse whenever things got tough. We are both about to the point where we want to stop altogether. It was in fact this very forum that prompted me to seek treatment in the first place and came on here today to jot down the correct links to refer a friend to seek treatment as well. Thats when I found your discussion.. I was pleased to see that someone had contributed again to this thread within the past 2 days! My doctor suggested that instead of cutting my dosage in half at this point, I should just shave off a little more every few days. He said other patients had a lot of success doing that... I tried to stop once before. Going from 2 mg a day to nothing... that lasted about 3 days before I sobbed my way back to the doctor for instructions =[ I am saddened to hear that these doctors are telling people to only take suboxone for a week or whatever... that is simply not long enough to fend off a speedy relapse. I cant help but believe the dr's that prescribe that way are doing so so they can discharge you from suboxone and take on a new patient which nets them much larger bucks (lots more visits, upfront consult, etc.). I know at one time each dr could only have 35 suboxone patients at one time... sure did leave a lot of people without care. Now I will see him only every 6 months. While I want to quit, I feel like 1-2 mg per day isn't bad in comparison.. I know it isn't clean.. but I just remember that fatigue.. felt like my back was broke and couldn't lift my arm to brush my hair. I manage a small business... I couldn't miss work unless I took vacation, which is doable, just still feeling like I'm not that bad off now. I am definitely scared. But reading this forum, once again, almost brought me to tears. Great stuff, I really felt the whole thing while I was reading this thread. So thank you, I know when I am ready I will come here and be inspired and you never know maybe inspire others with a diary like you did! Thank you, I am sure you helped so many that never wrote... If anyone out there has tried to quit using the shave off method, I would love to know if it went any smoother than other attempts or attempts of others. I know there is no harm in taking less and we are slowly but surely doing just that, I am just dreading the actual quitting.
On a side note, I wonder if any other long term users of suboxone had any troubles with tooth decay? I have never had any problems with my teeth, but have noticed a marked decline... I do not do any other drugs nor am I on any other meds, I am eating/drinking the same as always and am in my mid 30's. I started clenching my teeth while trying to keep the pill under my tongue - BAD HABIT-may or may not be contributing. I have had a lot of cavities and softening of the tooth at the gumline. I asked my sub doctor about it and he said never heard of that complaint. I just wondered if anyone else had anything like that happen to them... although I know that most probably haven't taken suboxone as long as we have... my dentist is not aware of my meds and dont really want to tell him as I used him before to feed my need. Thanks again!
hello- i am new to this board- hope i'm doing it right. does any one know how long suboxone stays in your system. i am scheduled for a drug test that is very very important. i have to be completely clean. i have been taking one 8mg suboxone for the past three days. I am taking sub. to get off of other opiates of course- but they have been at an absolute mimimum for the past month. even though low dosage of opiates prior to sub. i did experience withdrawal from them- thus- the 1 suboxone a day. then this nice surprise drug test came up. so does anyone know how long ms contin remains in the bloodstream and then 3 days of 8mg suboxone? thank you for any help. my family depends on this drug test. any and all suggestions greatly appreciated.
Missing a Few Things, But Still Good Information
First, let me say that in no way is this posting trying to play down or take away from your experience, but I believe I can add a few things that may help others in the same situation. (Also let me say my name is Lance from Georgia, I am in Pharmacy School at UGA (That's Georgia for you non bulldog fans..) and I was/still am addicted to opiates, since 1999 when I first worked for Medi-Cap Pharmacy and then with CVS. And yes, it's like being a kid-in-a-candy-store type thing, but it gets old, luck and God where the only reason I never got caught at either one of them. And I know you all are saying "man you sure you should go on working in Pharma with that hanging over your head?" and the answer is a very big YES. The only people (and you all know this) that can talk to addicts and help addicts are ones who have BEEN THROUGH IT. NO one and I mean NO one/not even the wife or bother/friend/etc who was right there or left your side, knows what's it's like, not like YOU DO. That being said, <by the way I am on 12mg: (6mg/morning & 6mg/evening)> in case you where curious, and yes I've done the "Cold-Turkey" and EVERY-other way, and I just happen to be at a very good spot right now with it....Let's also say this....If your Suboxone is working good for you and money isn't the problem, there isn't a hurry, take your time. (with out INS, suboxone runs about $278.50 for (45) 8/2mg pills.) I had to point this out about the guy giving us the day by day of withdrawls, (which we all know about <and again, nothing against him) but I couldn't help but notice He didn't seem to have to go to WORK any of those days and I believe he says he 32?. My Point being get stable before you start trying to quit, especially if you can't get away from your job! Now I could be wrong, but for those of you out there who have to go to work daily and your on Sub. and have a wife/girlfriend/etc. and they have noticed that you seem better and happier and your good to them and for them right now, then don't let ANYONE make you feel like you need to RUSH to get off the Suboxone, because physically, it's long term effects (on the bodys systems etc..) are very close to that of Methadone's. Which has a very good track history (now I'm only talking about health effects, not how addictive methadone is, it's bad in that department, .....Which brings me to my other observation of his story, he snorted he says, which means he never took that FINAL STEP (and that is a GOOD thing, okay..lol..I'm not downing the guy)....Injections, before I get into that though, let me back track and say if your meds. are working, it is GOOD to stay on it for a while, sometimes that can be 6 months to a year, because it helps your brain to become stable again and to begin functioning correctly, (like it did at christmas when you where 12...lol..remeber, you enjoyed things?...lol...) Now, over this time period, your doses should be lowered slowly, not by the week, but by 3 weeks to a month type thing. That way it keeps your brain going along normal and not the up and down that comes with having a bunch of your drug for a few days, then none-till ya buddy refills, then a couple a days without, then a few, then one day with a SH%&T load. That's the part that messes the brain up, and to be honest with you, and some Dr.'s would agree, (that's why there is Methadone and Suboxone in the first place), if you could have your opiate of choice (minus the BIG H..lol) everyday and take it on a level/consistant dosage, you would tech. be fine....It's the going without once your brian has started producing less dopamine than normal, because it knows your gonna do it for it by giving it the pill, but as long as the pill keeps coming then...well you get the picture....but yes the overall goal is for everyone to be medication free at some point. Here's what I really wanted to get at though...he was OXY's and as bad as they are, they are short acting opiates (yes I know that a Oxycontin tablet says take every 12 hours okay) but when they are snorted or ran (needles) they are in their short form, and like hydrocodone and codeine/morphine(besides MS-Contin) and Demerol, they are designed to last 4-6 hours....Short acting opiates are easier to ween off than the longer ones...THAT IS A FACT...Like an old person who is addicted to his medication because of a low back pain injury and has been taking 2-80mg OC's everday for 3 years (in it's TimeRelease form, you know, that coating you all rub off..lol) or someone who started taking Methadone to try to quit taking or buying Lortabs/Vicodin/Norcos/Morphine and has now gotten up to 3-40mg(the Disc's) a day, and now that person wants to quit. This is what I did, I've had opiates in and out of me for almost 9 years, (the last 7 months being on my Suboxone). Someone who's been on a regular daily dose of long acting opiates for more than a year or longer (and it just gets harder-the longer you where on them) will have a HELL of a lot harder time quiting than those who pop Lortabs or snort OC's and yes hydrocodone can be just as powerful as oxycodone, just in the U.S./ in mostly is only available in 5/7.5/10 formats, if you where in mexico you'd be taking the 40mg HC's instead.....Now let me clear this up, Once you go to >>>>>> and/or start injecting ANY opiate (from codeine to butorphonal) you are in a WHOLE NEW GAME. Then mental part is a lot Harder...I'm sure the Dave guy (the one that used >>>>>>) on here knows what I'm getting at. (and yes I WAS injecting) Hell just the act of using a needle can become addicting, now you got 2 problems...lol...I'm just saying...I feel the suboxone guy's pain(the "never looking back dude"), and I've felt worse, you CAN NOT DETOX from a long term opiate habbit and go to work at the same time....that is the reason I stay on my sub, for now, I haven't wanted any other drug in a long time, but I WILL be in the comfort of my home and on vaction when that time comes, which is in about 3 months, and no I'm acting all crazy about it, I and all of you, have been there before. And if your at the point where your on Sub, then your just about ready to quit anyways...So there's something to be said for cold turkey, and other methods ,but NO method of quitting will EVER work untill your ready, and this is for my methadone people out there, "Quitting suboxone is NOTHING like coming of Methadone (long-term use)/ >>>>>> (any form)/ or injection use (any opiate)." I would like to add that the physical fittness and protein intake will help, so will anti-oxy intake also.. Course so will Diazepam... Please, you all take care and write me if you'd like, and I don't mean to come off cocky / if the guy was working?......Well my Bad, we'll get over it...LOL>...
Last edited by lance5218; 02-04-2008 at 10:42 PM.
i happen to get an update on this whenever someone posts on this thread i made last year...
i have been completely clean since then and life has been super cool... i still do find it hard to see and talk to the friends i had to discard to get out of the lifestyle... but its what you have to do to get it done...
i wanted to point out a few things that maybe you overlooked about my posts...
1. i was on subs for about 5 and half months or so doing a relatively slow taper down as i explained when i went through it. this whole thread is about what people who have done OC's like myself and are now quitting subs... thats all... i was never talking about taking subs or for how long or any of that... i was talking about what i went through when i QUIT SUBS...
2. you were right about the fact that i didnt have to work during this time... i am a musician and it was downtime... HOWEVER... outside of the first 3 maybe 4 days... it would be better to be at work because it keeps you going and though you are drained out of your mind and hurting your body is rebuilding itself faster... i ran on the treadmill and went for walks quite a bit during that time... and its natural high it gave me was paramount during that depressing ass time... so with that being said... i also i noted that every person is different and will experience things differently... i was just trying to give a little insight to what i was going through because at that time i was looking for someone who could have told me what to expect.
i come back here to read about people and see if things have progressed in the sub-world... i have alot of friends that are messed up on "H" and OC's and i would love it if they would hit rock bottom and go for it with subs like i did...
i probably couldnt have done any other way...
Written nicely, You seem like a good person. Wish you Well
TO: NeverLooKingBack thank you for your response, and just for info purposes, i've been a member of countless sites like these, thought I am tech. new to this one. let me first thank you for your reply and for you not seeming all pissed off, like I said I wasn't downing you or your experiences, I just had some other thoughts of mine that came to me while reading yours and thought I should put them out there, I am with you on the exercise while detox'en bit, but the part about going to work: Here is what I mean: If you are able to be off work, then you should, YES doing something each day does help, but we all know how withdrawls looks and seems to people who don't have a clue about addiction, my point being if it's in an office type setting or especially if your job involves saving lives (sorry I was in USMC, just follow me..lol) but what I mean is if your job requires the utmost attention and things like driving/EMT's/firefighting, things like that, I'[m just saying I wouldln't want MY ambulance driver going trough withdrawls while he's on the way to my resuce...You see what I'm getting at, not to mention, even though people (in a perfect world) should be understanding at work, if you've always done a good job, then they see this (because we all know there are some things/symptoms during a really bad withdrawl-that you just don't need janitor Joe-much less your Boss to see) well they see these things---then they kinda start to think different about you regardless even if your work performance improves. So yes if you can, and defiently if you work alone, then go to work by all means, by even if it isn't work, just stay busy, and yes it WILL SUCK: as you know....lol..as do most of us...By the way..I play a little music myself...However I could NEVER quit my day job for that.....I can dream though...anyways good talking to you, and good luck...I had to leave a LOT of friends (and that's not even what they really are) behind when I quit partying too., most of us (addicts) have 100's of aquantinces, but like most normal people..you only need a few FRIENDS...I always tell people...just stop doing your drug for 2 days/call no one that has to do with drugs/ and only talk to the people that call you that has nothing to do with drugs....they'll realize real quick, why a lot of people are in there life...it's drug related, not friendship, hell don't stop the drug, just start telling 'em you've quit and for them to please not do it around you. ********************, you phone will go silent almost instantly, besides the usual girlfriend/wife/moms/sisters/...but there's the beauty in it...those ARE the people who actualy give a ******************** if your breathing of not....Neverlooking: you and others know what I'm talking about...people use people friends do not, well most of the time...talk with ya later man...and yes from a music stand point-the only thing VH1 ever got right was rating <SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT> #1 songs of the 90's....thought I'd just toss that in here... My girlfriend disagrees, which is why I told her, I don't think we will ever work