[Charliez]

Good deal Robert . Like I said I am happy for you. You can probably tell I am still working on getting myself settled as well. Sometimes I think we can get to much information in our heads at the same time & I suppose I am angry at myself for ever getting addicted to any drug in the first place. That wasn't to smart of me for sure. But there is absolutely nothing I can do to change the past. Besides I have plenty of things to work towards in the future to keep me occupied. Hope you enjoy the rest of the day I am going to get outside for awhile..Charlie

[HicksvilleNY]

no doom and gloom for me thanks... I'll pass..

That one post did bother me....a lot...but , it is a public forum and there will always be someone who pees in the pool.

to be honest i wanted to reach through the computer and grab him by the throat.nuff said

Charlie, I figure we need a nice straight level floor to walk on before we can take 1 step down,,, and thats what i'm trying to do right now. a nice confident and comfortable level floor, when i get to that point I will take a step down and do it again, i can't do the up down up down anymore its crazy and chaotic. If we are strong and sure, none of this will bother us anymore.
as soon as we take that first step or 2 we will be much better mentally,no doubt, its coming, but no huge rush, relax and enjoy life like I plan on doing, starting right now!

Robert, I am very glad you are going to hang around. its like Charlie said, you are a very positive asset to our little group.

Charlie, are you going to get the boat out this summer?

later

[Charliez]

I am going to try , boat needs a new water pickup in the lower unit-impeller, . I have the manual plus I have had some of it apart before so It shouldn't be to difficult. Only 15 bucks for the piece, merc.110 h.p. stern drive. Been a real good motor old chevyII . I went out on the lake today ,kinda got me wanting to get mine ready. Really nice day here around 78 just right. Then came home got the bike out for a little ride so I have been doing like you said.Living life! Take care...Charlie

[Robert_325]

I am envious of you guys having boats and motorcycles. Have had both in the past but not now. I miss them both, especially the bike. I miss cruising on my Harley. It's so relaxing when it's nice weather and no cars around. Just set the cruise and kick back. Damn, I think I am going to have to get another bike!!!

[HicksvilleNY]

new life=new bike

you deserve it...lol

[Charliez]

I agree ! Get out there! Having a pretty good start today . I have pretty much leveled off back to where I was . This sub. is not something you want to fool around with the doses . It has to find a leveling off point to work well. I feel better today...Take care & enjoy the weather & life!....Charlie

[HicksvilleNY]

me too, i have done the exact same thing as you,,, i'm right back where I was and where my dr wants me to be soooo I'm good with that for now,
I have had no problems/ side effects with it other than some anxiety over the fact that I'm still tied to a bottle of pills.

beautiful day here,

take care all

[Charliez]

I feel the same about being tied to anything but look at the people who have to take all kinds of meds. everyday with all kinds of illness's most in my family do this all the time. There are some that have diabetes in my family who have to give themselves shots several times a day everyday. I guess one way of looking at it is to be glad we don't have something where we know we will have to treat it the rest of our lives. At least we know sometime & at some point we will be able to get away from this . Take care ..Charlie

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Charliez

I feel the same about being tied to anything but look at the people who have to take all kinds of meds. everyday with all kinds of illness's most in my family do this all the time. There are some that have diabetes in my family who have to give themselves shots several times a day everyday. I guess one way of looking at it is to be glad we don't have something where we know we will have to treat it the rest of our lives. At least we know sometime & at some point we will be able to get away from this . Take care ..Charlie

Hey man, I agree big time. I remember a few years ago when I was taking 11prescriptions. Some of my illnesses seem to be kind of in remission right now. But I have RA, Raynaud's Phenomenon, Sleep Apnea, Degenerative Disc disease, and several other problems. Have had a couple of blood clots. I am doing lots better now. I am down to 4 scripts regularly and have a few in the cabinet I don't take at this time. I just pray it stays that way.

I am past the two week mark now with the Subutex. Of course, I don't claim any prize for that. I know it was only because I dropped to my knees and begged and pleaded for God's help. I couldn't have done it otherwise as I am so weak and an addict. I am so grateful today.


I am really happy you guys seem to be at a place where you are totally comfortable now. No way you can move forward without being content where you are. Don't beat up on yourselves over being tied to the Suboxone. It's lots better than the Hydro or OC. That is a no brainer. I will talk to you guys later. Have a great day.

[HicksvilleNY]

Thanks Charlie,, I never looked at it that way,

why is it I seem to talk myself into being depressed about this when in all reality I'm on my way to getting free of drugs for good?

anyway.....

Congrats Robert,,, that is truly amazing, I'm very happy for you and I am glad I was here to see it.

talk to you guys over the weekend

Take care.

[Charliez]

One thing we sometimes leave out when thinking about our recovery from drug abuse & what actions we have taken to help ourselves is ourselves .I have had several therapists say to me don't forget to acknowledge the role you played in all this, no one forced us to seek help this is true but can you imagine that one of the hardest parts of getting treatment is the asking? We don't look at it that way to us asking isn't very hard it's the work afterwards that can get hard. They say there are thousands out there who won't get help because they simply won't ask. Hard to imagine hu? So I guess we do deserve some credit but those of us who ask God for guidance know where the power comes from.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Charliez

One thing we sometimes leave out when thinking about our recovery from drug abuse & what actions we have taken to help ourselves is ourselves .I have had several therapists say to me don't forget to acknowledge the role you played in all this, no one forced us to seek help this is true but can you imagine that one of the hardest parts of getting treatment is the asking? We don't look at it that way to us asking isn't very hard it's the work afterwards that can get hard. They say there are thousands out there who won't get help because they simply won't ask. Hard to imagine hu? So I guess we do deserve some credit but those of us who ask God for guidance know where the power comes from.

I agree Charlie. I think that we are so used to beating up on ourselves from screwing up that we don't realize that we are taking positive steps forward even when we step up and do the right thing. So many addicts never even try recovery. Way too many of them don't make it. Too many die. Obviously you are also right about knowing that God gives us the power to do the next right thing. I know Ralph will agree too. Alone we are all weak. With each other even we are stronger. Add God to the picture and we can accomplish anything He sees fit for us.

Hope you guys had a great weekend. I figure everyone was having fun over the weekend as we haven't talked much. Things are going great here. Stay in touch. Talk later guys.

[Charliez]

Glad you are still doing good! Life is so much better without all that was holding us back. Just been resting a lot I had worn myself down a bit & now it has been catching up with me. Everyday is one more down without pain pills.

[Robert_325]

Hey guys. Haven't seen anyone online much lately. Just making sure everything is going well. Couldn't be better here. Just checking in and wishing you guys the best. Hope all is going well. Later.

[Charliez]

Hey Robert, everything going well here I have been on a sleep kick for a while seems everything may have caught up with me I find all I need to do is sit down much less lay down & pretty much out I go. That is good I guess if I need it. My grandmother always said you wouldn't be asleep unless you needed it. I have been really going at it for several months during that time I have accomplished a lot but have been up more than ever. Still at 16 mg and doing ok there. I am much better with everything when I don't have a big monster raging at my back. lol take it easy...Charlie

[Robert_325]

Glad things are going well Charlie. Haven't seen Ralph on here in a while. Hope he is doing well too. Ralph ... you still out there and with us????

I think Charlie if you are sleeping well again that is a good sign that you are relaxing and getting comfortable with where you are. That is positive. I know we all tossed and turned for a good while in the beginning worrying about one thing or another. I know you were freaking out over your dr leaving town. So I imagine that you need the rest. Your grandma is right I am sure.

Haven't had to use the Subutex or anything in a good while. It is really strange. I was on so many RX meds, whether from scripts or otherwise. I can say that after doing the Subutex route that I am only taking a HBP pill, a Plavix and Ibuprophen now. And I have no problems. That is a miracle. I give thanks every day for where I am today. It's like I have been healed from all my illnesses. I am so greatful to God for helping me like He has. Take it easy Charlie and stay in touch. Talk soon.

[Robert_325]

Ralph ... haven't seen you on the thread since the 25th of last month. You ok? Are you still with us? Let us know how you are doing ... hope everything is going ok and nothing has happened.


Charlie,
Just getting a little concerned that Ralph hasn't been online in a while. It will be two weeks tomorrow. Not like him. Hope he hasn't relapsed, but if he has I sure hope he comes back. I know I have relapsed before and it's one of the hardest things there is to face people when we have blown it. Not trying to be a doomsayer, there is probably a good reason why we haven't seen him. I hope he checks in soon. I know I like talking to you guys and sharing what is happening with each other.

One more time Ralph, if you are reading this then POST so we know you are doing ok. Hope to hear from you.

[Maxwell_T]

hello everybody,

I have not read every post in this thread, so maybe somebody has already covered what I have to say. Anyways, I am on Suboxone myself (8mg a day, I just dropped from 12mg a day. Been taking it for 2 weeks). I was hooked on OxyContin (80-120mg a day- everyday) and I am finding Suboxone to be a miracle drug, as it were. The 1st day was very rough for me, but every last day since has been a true blessing. No more withdraws, pains, I am gaining my confidence back, more or less I am becoming who I was before my addiction. I also want to state that I find lowering my doses of Suboxone to be easy, so ,while Im sure there will be folks who dont have such an easy time as me, I think people should have confidence that they too can lower their doses.

But really what I wanted to talk about is the mental side of addiction. And quitting pain killers (or any drug) isnt only about withdraws or cravings. Yeah, those are important aspects of the process, but we MUST remember that when you have an addiction to pain killers your brain gets addicted as well as your body...

Your brain decides that you NEED pain killers to feel good. Kind of like a dog drooling when it hears the 'dinner bell' before it eats everyday- after so long, you can just ring the dinner bell with no food and the dog still drools. Its a habit. (If anyone wants me to elaborate this point just ask and I will). Your brain has associated taking the pain killers with feeling good. It decides you need that pill to feel good. Thats why we have our cravings. I see this being my own personal problem down the road. When I see an OxyContin, after getting off Suboxone, is my brain going to be re-calibrated so it doesnt tell me I NEED that pill to have fun or feel good? That will be the real test, in my opinion. Its in light of this fact that I urge each and every one of you to put the trust in your docs and follow the program as scheduled. Remember the mental aspect of addiction. You know, if your brain had told your body that you didnt NEED the pain killers, then you wouldnt be here... Just my 2 cents. Thanks for reading.

All that said, I am happy to be part of this community. Addiction is tough and I think all of us have realized that. I think it will only greater our chances of triumph if we work as a team. I dont know everything, so its nice to have a place to ask questions. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, but I understand what has happened prior to today. Good luck to everyone!

[Robert_325]

We have discussed in this thread exactly what you talk about in your post. I like the analogy of the drooling dog and the dinner bell. I certainly did a lot of drooling in my addiction. LOL Seriously, I couldn't agree more with you. As far as your brain being re-calibrated in the future to not want drugs, I think that is an individual thing as far as the time involved for that to start happening. I like to think I am getting closer to being re-calibrated. I don't think by any means that I am completely well yet, but I am getting better.

I was able to stop taking Subutex after using it for a little over a month following 40 years of addiction taking STUPID amounts of OC and other opiates plus all the other drugs in the dictionary. I have been very lucky. But the one thing that has bothered me some is that I have always spent a great deal of my time putting something in my mouth, be it an opiate, a Benzo, a joint or whatever. I have noticed that particular craving still even though I am past craving opiates per say. I have no doubt that my system will wonder where the "whatever" is that should be going in my mouth throughout the day for some time to come.

The other two guys on this thread continue to take Suboxone. I think that Suboxone is great. Each person just has to determine what works best for them. Some people like me only need it a short time. Others may need it a few months and others may need it long term. The main thing is that we don't relapse and start doing OC again, or whatever our drug of choice is. If one is still struggling with "addictive behavior" like you discuss, then I think that person should stay on Suboxone until such time that they have the behavior under control. There is no reason to rush things and set ourselves up for relapse. I notice myself having "using thoughts" but I don't find it anywhere close to necessary to act on them. So I am comfortable with dealing with life with no medication. But regardless of how long someone takes Suboxone, it is definitely better than acting on that dinner bell as you discussed.

We are always glad to have others join this thread with constructive thoughts. Hope to see you back with us.

[Robert_325]

How are you guys doing??? Things are going great for me. Haven't used in a pretty long time now. Life sure feels great clean.

Charlie ... Haven't heard from you in almost a week now. I am assuming all is going okay? Just checking on you Brother. Making sure you are still improving day by day. Drop me a line when you log on. Later man. God bless.

Ralph ... Sure would like to hear what is happening with you. It's been a pretty good while. Wonder about you often. Sure hope you aren't having any problems. You kind of disappeared rather abruptly. Let us know how you are doing if you would. Just checking on you. Later. God bless.

[Charliez]

Robert Just checking in & am doing as well as can be expected. Still at 16 got another refill today so I am without the worries of enough meds. I don't like the fact these doc's just give you the exact amount to the day or more to the hour before coming back in for your refill, better hope nothing happens to prolong your next date. Last I heard Ralph is fine he is back at his reg. dose & has quit worrying for now & going on with his life & so am I just kinda accepting & moving on putting any thoughts of getting off the sub on the back burner it's still there just been moved to the rear. Glad you are doing so well it's great to have our lives back. Take care ....Charlie

[Blissful]

I strongly suggest that no matter what you are trying to kick, do not go cold turkey. You can not succeed that way. Suboxone is not the one that you need because it has a little narcan in it and will throw you into withdrawals, you need subutex most people do not know the difference but subutex is bupernorphine and no narcan in it and if you have a high tollerance to opiates you can take one 8mg subutex under your tongue and wait for it to dissolve and you will feel much better. once you have normalised this rutine and you feel great , then you take the suboxone which has a little narcan in it and then you taper off. Unless you are on Tylenol/codien #3, I strongly suggest this method rather than going cold turkey. also, speaking from experience , do not go for any rapid detox, you will be sorry you did and you will lose a lot of money. there are free methadone clinics also which can slowly bring you down in 28 days and you will be fine. By the way the subutex /suboxone treatment will cost you about $500.00 for the first visit and then $100.00 each visit after that, and unless your insurance is paying for the meds they will cost you $200.00 a month. Best of luck.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Charliez

Robert Just checking in & am doing as well as can be expected. Still at 16 got another refill today so I am without the worries of enough meds. I don't like the fact these doc's just give you the exact amount to the day or more to the hour before coming back in for your refill, better hope nothing happens to prolong your next date. Last I heard Ralph is fine he is back at his reg. dose & has quit worrying for now & going on with his life & so am I just kinda accepting & moving on putting any thoughts of getting off the sub on the back burner it's still there just been moved to the rear. Glad you are doing so well it's great to have our lives back. Take care ....Charlie

Good to hear from you again Charlie. Was beginning to think you weren't coming back. Glad things are going well for you. It's been a pretty good while now since taking any Subutex. Have not had any problems, no addict thoughts about using, no nothing. Of course you know I give credit for all of my success in changing my life to Christ. That has been the major change for me. The Subutex helped for sure but it was just a means to get me through a short period. I had to change my thinking and my life to really be successful. Stay in touch ... will talk to you again soon. God bless.