[irish1]

I have been taking hydrocodone, tylenol 3, tramadol, and various muscle relaxers with the occasional script for percosets mixed in for over a year. I will take anywhere from 4-16 depending on where I am with my script (how many I have left). I am tired of the pills controlling my life, that I am constantly thinking about them, especially when I get to the end of a script. I was clever enough to go to two different doctors that didn't know about each other (not in the same HMO's) to get my meds. I have valid pain issues(IBS, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, Scoliosis) but I have taken these meds for so long now, I don't think I know when I'm actually in pain. I think my body manifested more pain as a result from my use of the pills. I take full responsibility for abusing drugs, and am fully commited to stopping. Where I was once focused on pills, when to take them, how to get more, etc. I am now focused on getting better and what do I have to do to get to that point. I have spoken with my family doctor and came clean, I asked for help, and he suggested the suboxone. He said he is having great success with it, he feels I would have a better chance to get over the cravings. That's what brings me back to using everytime. I can deal with withdrawl, I've done it before. I've tapered down successfully as well, but after a week or two of nothing in my system, I go crazy. The cravings are so intense, I would rip apart the house looking for a pill I may have stashed someplace and forgot, or dropped. And becasue I didn't want anyone to know just how bad this had gotten, I wouldn't ask for help (Like NA, or counseling). I am 31 years old with two wonderful boys and a husband who loves me, and they don't deserve to be put through this time and time again. Everytime my IBS flares up (bad enough to keep me home from work for a couple of days) or my back goes out, I have a valid excuse to take the pills, and I tell myself, I will have no problem stopping this time, and I know better, I know I will. I'm an addict, I always have been. It was drinking and smoking weed until I got pregnant with my first son, and then I just replaced it with pills, or food, or something else, or all of them. I have never learned any tools to dealing with addictive, compulsive, obsessive behavior. I'm not sure whether I should try the suboxone ? I meet with my doctor tomorrow, my last pill was at 8:00 Sunday night, he said if I wanted to do the Suboxone I had to have at least 12 hours without pills.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by irish1

I have been taking hydrocodone, tylenol 3, tramadol, and various muscle relaxers with the occasional script for percosets mixed in for over a year. I will take anywhere from 4-16 depending on where I am with my script (how many I have left). I am tired of the pills controlling my life, that I am constantly thinking about them, especially when I get to the end of a script. I was clever enough to go to two different doctors that didn't know about each other (not in the same HMO's) to get my meds. I have valid pain issues(IBS, Degenerative Disc Disease, Migraines, Scoliosis) but I have taken these meds for so long now, I don't think I know when I'm actually in pain. I think my body manifested more pain as a result from my use of the pills. I take full responsibility for abusing drugs, and am fully commited to stopping. Where I was once focused on pills, when to take them, how to get more, etc. I am now focused on getting better and what do I have to do to get to that point. I have spoken with my family doctor and came clean, I asked for help, and he suggested the suboxone. He said he is having great success with it, he feels I would have a better chance to get over the cravings. That's what brings me back to using everytime. I can deal with withdrawl, I've done it before. I've tapered down successfully as well, but after a week or two of nothing in my system, I go crazy. The cravings are so intense, I would rip apart the house looking for a pill I may have stashed someplace and forgot, or dropped. And becasue I didn't want anyone to know just how bad this had gotten, I wouldn't ask for help (Like NA, or counseling). I am 31 years old with two wonderful boys and a husband who loves me, and they don't deserve to be put through this time and time again. Everytime my IBS flares up (bad enough to keep me home from work for a couple of days) or my back goes out, I have a valid excuse to take the pills, and I tell myself, I will have no problem stopping this time, and I know better, I know I will. I'm an addict, I always have been. It was drinking and smoking weed until I got pregnant with my first son, and then I just replaced it with pills, or food, or something else, or all of them. I have never learned any tools to dealing with addictive, compulsive, obsessive behavior. I'm not sure whether I should try the suboxone ? I meet with my doctor tomorrow, my last pill was at 8:00 Sunday night, he said if I wanted to do the Suboxone I had to have at least 12 hours without pills.

I think suboxone would be great for you. You sound like a good candidate. Let us know how it goes with the dr. I am curious to see what your dr suggests as a game plan for you. I did the same thing and have worked with others on this forum using suboxone. Main thing is to use it for the appropriate amount of time and then stop. Stay in touch and I can give you some pointers. Good luck.

[irish1]

My Dr. also agreed that I was a perfect candidate for suboxone and I am taking 2mg twice a day. He also said this would work for my chronic pain - well he was WRONG! I am in so much pain, my back is just killing me, I hurts to sit, stand or walk right now. On the other hand, I am not using the narcotics and for that I am grateful. I have had minor withdrawl symptoms, no cravings, and I know as long as I take this, I can't get any effects (high)from taking a narcotic. But I have found the drawback to the suboxone is random muscle jerks, especially when sleeping/relaxing, MAJOR constipation, and no pain relief and very limited to what I can take for relieving pain. So I have very mixed feelings on whether I like it or not. I have 40 days clean, have gone through day treatment at a AODA facility, and am attending NA meetings. This has sparked a very positive change in me, I forgot how nice it is to be in control and interacting with the world again! Right now, since my back pain has gotten to the point of being almost debilitating, my Dr. gave me a very short script for Oral Toradol, while I go to my chiropractor (doing visits every day), I know I can't take the medication longer than 4-5 days. My doc only gave me enough for 4 days, so I can't abuse this either!!