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Sick and tired of being...please help.
Sick and tired of being...please help.
First off, sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place but I wasn't sure where to go or exactly how to navigate this site. I'm in need of some help. I just turned 40 last month and I've been on pain pills (mostly Vicodin) for the better part of the last 10 years. I have been averaging probably 8-10 10/500's daily; more at times, less at times, depending on the amount I had on hand. These pills have wrecked my life and occupy my thoughts all day, everyday. It started out with back problems and my doctor prescribing them to me. I loved them from the start and my doctor never had a problem prescribing them. She left the practice and referred me to another doctor who never had a problem, and she gradually increased the dose over time. That doctor left and I recently started with a new doctor in the same practice. Today she threw me a curveball and said 'no script til you pee in this cup'. I didn't pee because it would've been the end of the road anyway when she found my levels were much higher than what she has been prescribing, and I also didn't want her to find thc in my system, etc. etc. So, needless, I left w/out a script and coincidentally (or not) my other 2 main sources have been exhausted in the past few weeks. I say 'coincidentally' but I don't really believe in coincidences. I believe everything happens for a reason and I feel like this is the 'out' I've been waiting for. I think that if you don't take care of things on your own sometimes the universe has a way of doing it for you. I've been trying to ween myself for a couple of months now but that never works for me. Everyday I say that tomorrow is the day I'll take one less, etc. but as long as I have them I'll eat them like skittles until they're gone. I could go on and on but those of you who understand know my story because it's probably the same or almost the same as your own. So...how do I do this? Please someone give me some advice, some encouragement, words of wisdom, something...anything....Tomorrow I will have to begin cold turkey detox. I took my last 4 on the way to the dr. this morning feeling confident I'd leave there with a new rx and well, we see how that turned out.
Any insight/input anyone has to offer will be incredibly appreciated! Thanks in advance.
I have been there
Hi hun,I had been using prescription meds, and moved on to the hard drugs once my prescriptions ran out.If you are going to be that bad with withdrawling...try to find a detox hospital if you can. Try a methadone program? you have a long history of using prescription drugs. you REALLY do not want to move on to >>>>>> or anything else. If the pills killed your life then other drugs are soon to step in and take over because they are eaiser to find. I had a huge habit with prescription drugs. i had to go into a methadone program, and i am now withdrawling from the methadone after being on it for 5years. I had to go to an extended program because of the mental effects that the drugs had one me, saw a shrink daily for three years before I accepted help totally. EVERYTHING I knew in my life had to change.I spent over half of my life addicted and using. Going to a hospital, Quitting the drugs which ever way you do it is the first step. If you were "doctor shopping" and buying pills all over you won't stop looking...especially once you start to detox.you're going to get panicked and desperate. Most hospitals take you even if you do not have insurance. Don't go to the hospital ER faking a tooth ache or pain showing you have been on a prescription and get a temp. prescription until you can get to the doctors office. It works, but once that is done you are back at square one.If you are not ready to quit you probably just quit reading and you're driving to the ER right now..LOL! Plus it only works for a short time. you probably spent the entire day looking for something...now it is getting down to the time where you get really sick. Even if you took the urine test at the doctors office, you still could have had the chance to come clean and ask the doctor for help.i understand your thought process...you panicked and got mad acted insulted that they would even ask you to take a urine test, and you walked out? Am I close? They could have detoxed you from the meds if they were concerned about your abusing the drugs. They must have been tipped off or suspicious to test you in the first place. If you go back tomorrow and tell them then what can it hurt? If you want to stop, it may be a chance for help, you already lost your prescription...ask them to help you...If you feel ready to quit. Right now you are just fishing for a decision, you have to decide and do whatever is right for you before it gets worse. i hope you can look beyond the detox. In the big picture, detox is only a short time compaired to how long you have been using the drug and ripping your life apart. i do not want to sound blunt...I know what you feel like right now...I do understand. It is so hard to walk away from the drugs and start facing the truth and quit playing a game. By refusing the drug test your doctor already knows...if you move on to another doctor and try to get a prescription they will call the old doctor for your records and you will be shut down again. Do you have the energy to bury your old medical records & doctor and start over trying to get drugs with a new doctor, or are you ready to put all the effort you put into finding drugs into staying away from the drugs? It does take work...whatever you decide. It does get better if you are ready to accept help. I went from prison to owning my own business in 5 years time. i have not relapsed, but some days are hard. i have faith in you and if you are ready..or when you feel ready please put all your effort into changing your life. Good luck hun.you'll be in my thoughts. P>S> you don't believe in coincidence...your the first question I tried to answer, and I just started this website tonight at around the same time you posted your question...maybe I was meant to talk to you????i'm guessing you have gone to NA/AA meetings before from some of the things you said...or the way you said them maybe? If that did not work for you, maybe it's time to try a more serious and structured treatment? Cold turkey is rough, and without some sort of help on the outside you will probably relapse. you're smart, and you've been doing this a long time, try to hang on and get some help. you're strong but the drugs are going to pull you back in unless you accept advice from others...even if it is something you do not want to hear.
Probably 8-10 10/500's daily for 10 years!?! MORE??? AT TIMES?!?!?!
Originally Posted by tarheelgal
What follows is a plea from the bottom of my heart, NO ONE is going to judge you!
What's severely worrying me right now is the APAP dose. 8-10 X/500's That's 4g to 5g of APAP, Tylenol, paracetamol or acetaminophen. (It has many names)
Four to 5 grams, every DAY - and For years on end? You are very lucky not to have suffered liver failure, already! It can LIKELY cause liver damage at this dose and for this length of time. To give you a measuring stick, the Long-Term safe dose of APAP is 2g per day! You've been consuming 4g or 5g per day, NOT SAFE at this DOUBLE dose!!!!!
PLEASE get a handle on this before it puts you in the hospital! (It probably won't kill you today or even next decade but it will EVENTUALLY! You've GOT to have a CMP! (Comprehensive Metabolic Panel)
GET WITH A DOCTOR, ASAP! You NEED a liver function test, soon!!!
It costs somewhere south of $200 and given your history, I would see a Dr. about it TODAY!
I'm not going to even address the addiction, your liver is begging for a break!
BTW, that's how I got into trouble with Roxicodone...My liver enzymes were elevated, so my Dr. switched me to an APAP-free painkiller - Immediate Release Oxycodone 30mg Tablets. I was hopelessly addicted until my Dr.prescribed Methadone. BUT> Methadone is no saint either! Let's be 100% clear about that! I am not advocating that YOU get on it!
PS: Even if you stopped EVERYTHING, today, you would still need a CMP (probably a series of them over time to see that your liver is healing.)
I don't mean to scare you, but strongly motivate you to be proactive on this matter.
Good luck, my friend
Last edited by PeterRabbit2; 06-15-2011 at 04:41 AM.
Those 8=10 vics a day, was that what a doc could prescribe? Or was that plus what you scored on the street. That,s a lot of aspirin. I tell you to watch out for these doctors. Are there no doctors that frequent this forum?
OK ready set lets GO !!!
I have been there chasing around those evil little pills till it almost destroyed me,
I'm going to put up the Thomas recipe and you will feel better in a week. then we can start you on some kind of workout for your back so you wont need to take any pills for it....
let us know how it is going !!!
If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.
For the Recipe, You'll need:
1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.
2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).
3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.
4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).
5. Vitamin B6 caps.
6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).
How to use the recipe:
Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.
Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.
During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.
Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.
At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.
Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.
As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.
Just a quick correction - Vicodin contains acetaminophen (the active ingredient in Tylenol), not aspirin. (Aspirin is more akin to Advil or Aleve, it's an NSAID.) Acetaminophen is MOSTLY lacking in anti-inflammatory action (there is however, a tiny amount.)
Originally Posted by casual
If the person was taking 10 per day of tablets that contained each half a gram (500mg) of acetaminophen, that's (10 tablets X 0.5g acetaminophen per tablet = 5g acetaminophen)
(The following info comes from my Dr. AND my pharmacist, not Google or off the top of my head!) The MOST acetaminophen a person should consume LONG-TERM, is only 2 grams per day! So
Five grams of daily, LONG-TERM acetaminophen use (I don't think a Dr. in her/his right mind would prescribe such an overdose!) can very likely lead to at best, liver dysfunction and at worst, cirrhosis. The liver is a VERY resilient organ; if the acetaminophen use is ceased 100%, over time the liver will most likely heal itself. BUT a CMP (comprehensive metabolic panel) still needs to be done. And in the months to come, the CMP should be repeated every 3 months (or as often as your Dr. recommends to plot your progress.
The CMP is a blood test that measures 14 variables. that are a good measure of your overall liver and kidney function.
Good luck tarheelgal and please consult a Dr. about this matter!
you guys for the advice and support. i should make a few things clear. my doctor has been prescribing up to 6 a day for the last couple of years. before that it was 2, then 4, started out at 5 mg, then 7.5, etc. etc. i'm not blaming my doctor(s) although i'd be lying if i said i didn't hold them partly accountable. the first one particularly; she sent me for PT, that helped somewhat but didn't fix my problems so she just kept gradually increasing the dosage and amount (without me asking her to). the next one was a little more cautious and did a liver profile on me a couple of years ago which amazingly enough was ok. i know i should have another one done and soon, but i need to deal with first things first and get off these damn things. i should also add that for the past 10 years i've not taken 10 a day...but for the past couple of years i've averaged probably 8 or so. i don't know. for a long time i would try and make sure i stayed under that magic '4000 mg of acetamenaphine number' but as the addiction has gotten worse i've not been as concerned with that number as i should be. :/ besides the 6/day my dr has been prescribing i've been getting them elsewhere, and sometimes those were percs or hydros with a lower amount of tylenol (like 325 or whatever). anyway...i will have my liver checked out again as soon as possible so thanks for your concern!
so as for the thomas recipe, i've read about that other places as well since i've been wanting to kick this for a long time now. so does it really, really help? i should also mention the other meds i take to see if they'll have any ill effects with any of the stuff on the recipe. i take cymbalta for pain & depression, straterra for ADD, and am weening off of celexa (currently at 10mg) while i add the cymbalta.
so today is day 1 and i feel like hell. my nose is running off my face, bad stomach cramps, hard chills and my back pain is at about a 9. it hasn't hurt like this in years, as do my knees. i'm also crying uncontrollably like i just lost my best friend. oh god. i can't believe i've gotten myself into this predicament. and i have to work while dealing with this. taking time off unfortunately isn't an option.
going to go at lunch and see if i can find all the ingredients for the recipe. thanks again, everyone. it helps to hear others stories that have been through this and lived to tell about it.
I know it's entirely too early in the game to be asking this but how long does it take for the psychological/obsessive thinking to stop after you quit these wretched pills? In the past when I've tried to quit that's the part that reeled me back in every single time.
I my self haven't had a pill since June 2nd, which was 80 mil oxy. Man I tell ya 30 mil methadone for one day, 20 the next 10 the few following days. Picked up 4 methadone on Monday evening cause I knew I had to work on Tuesday . I have 3.5 of those left. My wife of 22 yrs. said she wanted her husband back and shes meant business. I am on a strict diet and vitamin regimen and so far it seems to be working, but if you get drunk as I have done you tend to want to back slide, I have held in my hand oxy 80's just yesterday, without having to have one, no joke. These aren't mine and the person who owns them was real worried because she's almost out. If they were mine I probably would have succumbed, If my wife caught me down there again my stuff would most likely be in the street, as this girl is now my drinking buddy, hey, that's better than a drug partner right. I say that only if you drink a few.
How long does this go on?! :(
Hi everyone-so today is my 10th day without Vicodin. The first 5 or 6 days were pure hell with the physical withdrawals. I feel like I'm mostly over that now but still feeling so incredibly weird it's hard to even describe. First off, the same day my doctor cut me off the pain meds she started me on Straterra for ADD and Cymbalta for depression. I am also taking 20 mg of Celexa but the plan was for the Cymbalta to take the place of the Celexa. I took the two new meds for a week and was convinced it was them making me feel so funky so I stopped them but I'm still feeling really out of sorts and messed up. The mornings are a little better but in the afternoon I get incredibly tired yet jittery and wired feeling at the same time. My heart races and I get sooo hot I just pour sweat but will have cold chills at the same time. It's the most uncomfortable feeling ever. By the time I get home from work at 6:00 it's all I can do to go through the motions of caring for my sick and elderly mom who lives with us, fix dinner and then I hit the couch hard and sleep until time to go bed. The depression and anxiety is still bad but not as bad as this feeling that I'm coming out of my skin or losing my mind. I'm taking a multivitamin and B12 and other than the Celexa that's it. I'm proud of myself and trying my best to 'fake it til I make it' sort of thing but my God it's so hard. My mom whom I mentioned lives with us is in Hospice care so besides all the withdrawal stuff I also have to administer morphine to her and there is an arsenal of it at my house. I know that I've done amazingly well given the fact that I have access to those meds and I want to stay on track but honestly if I'm going to feel like this for much longer I don't know if I can stand it. Any insight or advice...words of wisdom....anything?! Thanks in advance!