[herenow44]

This is my first time posting on a thread like this, but after reading how much it has helped so many others quit an addiction I knew that I needed to post...

I am a 23 yr old male who comes from a great family and have many loving friends. I just graduated from college and received my bachelors degree in business and I am ready to quit taking pain killers and get on with my life. It's been 6 months since I graduated, and I've been working full time at a job that I just simply despise and that pays very little. I am behind on ALL my bills and have to keep putting them off because I just don't have the $$$ to pay them. (This is totally uncharacteristic for me as I am always so good about keeping on top of my finances) It's extremely depressing and I know that my addiction is whats keeping me down.

None of my family know that I have an addiction to PK's, a lot of my friends use recreationally but none of them know that my problem has become this serious. I've been taking pills on random occasions for quite a few years now, but the real addiction didn't surface untill about 2 years ago. I started taking them a few times a week for about 6 months, quit for 1/2 year then started back up again. Started using the same amt, but that quickly turned into using every day. On avg I consumed either 7-10 7.5mg Vics, or around 5-6 perks/loritabs a day (but I would take any painkiller I could get...) I then was able to quit again for about a month and this was during one of the most difficult times in my life wich made it MUCH more difficult. One morning after celebrating being done with school, a nasty hangover had me on the phone to get meds, and here I am now 6 months later taking pills again every day, with my consumption rate about the same maybe a little worse than before.

So I've decided to go Cold Turkey and quit and I'm on my 2nd day of being clean (the last time I took anything was monday night). These first few days have been very hard, a lot of nasty physical withdraws, lack of sleep, no motivation, & EXTREMLY DEPRESSED. I've always been such a happy person, and I know a lot of it has to do with the WD, but Im so sad and emotional, its a terrible feeling. Every post that I read on here brings me tears, and I just look back and wonder how the hell I did this to myself....

I have been ready to start applying for salary jobs but my addiction has me stuck in a rut. Now I have no $$$ whatsoever, and Im behind on quite a few of my bills. I just need some motivation to get me through this again, and help me get back on my feet and back to my normal happy self. I feel I am loosing friends, and loved ones because all I do is sit around eat pills and blow them off. I need to move on.... please help

Thanks for reading


Sorry for such a long post, had a lot on my mind.

[HenryNCBA]

Hello Herenow44,
You have come to the right place. I can understand your situation completely. This may sound harsh but I am going to tell it like it is so it won't be sugar coated. First it is good that you have admitted that you have an addiction. Having said that asking for help is the next good thing. Obviously you have some experience with pain meds so you know very well that to go C/T you are in for a rough ride at best. W/D will play havoc on you physically and mentally so be as ready as you can be for it. Personally I would prefer a good sub taper but it is your decision to go C/T so put aside 7 to 10 days of down time so you can deal with the W/D you are going to go through. Some folks can do it in less time and some take longer as everyone is different. Stock up on the things you will need while on C/T. Tell your friends and others that care about you what you are planning to do so they will support you. You don't need the friends that will tell you to take more pain meds and don't worry about it or those that try to get you to take what you are trying to get off of so you won't be feeling the W/D's because I will warn you it will not be a walk in the park and it may be the most miserable thing you have ever done or will do in your life. Once you are clean though the rewards are great. You are still young, educated, and have a long and bright future ahead of you so don't mess it up and just do the right thing going forward.
The below is the Thomas Recipe for going C/T. Again I would recommend a good sub taper but that is me and my opinion only.

THOMAS RECIPE

If you can't take time off to detox, I recommend you follow a taper regimen using your drug of choice or suitable alternate -- the slower the taper, the better.

For the Recipe, You'll need:

1. Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax). Of these, Valium and Klonopin are best suited for tapering since they come in tablet form. Librium is also an excellent detox benzo, but comes in capsules, making it hard to taper the dose. Ativan or Xanax should only be used if you can't get one of the others.

2. Imodium (over the counter, any drug or grocery store).

3. L-Tyrosine (500 mg caps) from the health food store.

4. Strong wide-spectrum mineral supplement with at least 100% RDA of Zinc, Phosphorus, Copper, Magnesium and Potassium (you may not find the potassium in the same supplement).

5. Vitamin B6 caps.

6. Access to hot baths or a Jacuzzi (or hot showers if that's all that's available).

How to use the recipe:

Start the vitamin/mineral supplement right away (or the first day you can keep it down), preferably with food. Potassium early in the detox is important to help relieve RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). Bananas are a good source of potassium if you can't find a supplement for it.

Begin your detox with regular doses of Valium (or alternate benzo). Start with a dose high enough to produce sleep. Before you use any benzo, make sure you're aware of how often it can be safely taken. Different benzos have different dosing schedules. Taper your Valium dosage down after each day. The goal is to get through day 4, after which the worst WD symptoms will subside. You shouldn't need the Valium after day 4 or 5.

During detox, hit the hot bath or Jacuzzi as often as you need to for muscle aches. Don't underestimate the effectiveness of hot soaks. Spend the entire time, if necessary, in a hot bath. This simple method will alleviate what is for many the worst opiate WD symptom.

Use the Imodium aggressively to stop the runs. Take as much as you need, as often as you need it. Don't take it, however, if you don't need it.

At the end of the fourth day, you should be waking up from the Valium and experiencing the beginnings of the opiate WD malaise. Upon rising (empty stomach), take the L-Tyrosine. Try 2000 mgs, and scale up or down, depending on how you feel. You can take up to 4,000 mgs. Take the L-Tyrosine with B6 to help absorption. Wait about one hour before eating breakfast. The L-Tyrosine will give you a surge of physical and mental energy that will help counteract the malaise. You may continue to take it each morning for as long as it helps. If you find it gives you the "coffee jitters," consider lowering the dosage or discontinuing it altogether. Occasionally, L-Tyrosine can cause the runs. Unlike the runs from opiate WD, however, this effect of L-Tyrosine is mild and normally does not return after the first hour. Lowering the dosage may help.

Continue to take the vitamin/mineral supplement with breakfast.

As soon as you can force yourself to, get some mild exercise such as walking, cycling, swimming, etc. This will be hard at first, but will make you feel considerably better.

Thomas"

The following link is also quite informative. Good information on it on cleaning yourself up in a more natural way with exercise, nutrition, etc... Good reading and I would recommend it. Written by a physician who knows how to treat W/D,
http://www.dpeg.org/treatment/methadone_withdrawal.htm

I am no expert by far on W/D or pain med addiction. I am currently going through taper for opiates myself. My knowledge is more on the mental aspect of how the mind and body works along with behavior. You are intelligent enough to know what is right and what is wrong. You seem to want to get your act together and do the right thing going forward and that is great!

Keep posting here with updates. Good luck.

Henry

[diordiamonds]

Originally Posted by herenow44

This is my first time posting on a thread like this, but after reading how much it has helped so many others quit an addiction I knew that I needed to post...

I am a 23 yr old male who comes from a great family and have many loving friends. I just graduated from college and received my bachelors degree in business and I am ready to quit taking pain killers and get on with my life. It's been 6 months since I graduated, and I've been working full time at a job that I just simply despise and that pays very little. I am behind on ALL my bills and have to keep putting them off because I just don't have the $$$ to pay them. (This is totally uncharacteristic for me as I am always so good about keeping on top of my finances) It's extremely depressing and I know that my addiction is whats keeping me down.

None of my family know that I have an addiction to PK's, a lot of my friends use recreationally but none of them know that my problem has become this serious. I've been taking pills on random occasions for quite a few years now, but the real addiction didn't surface untill about 2 years ago. I started taking them a few times a week for about 6 months, quit for 1/2 year then started back up again. Started using the same amt, but that quickly turned into using every day. On avg I consumed either 7-10 7.5mg Vics, or around 5-6 perks/loritabs a day (but I would take any painkiller I could get...) I then was able to quit again for about a month and this was during one of the most difficult times in my life wich made it MUCH more difficult. One morning after celebrating being done with school, a nasty hangover had me on the phone to get meds, and here I am now 6 months later taking pills again every day, with my consumption rate about the same maybe a little worse than before.

So I've decided to go Cold Turkey and quit and I'm on my 2nd day of being clean (the last time I took anything was monday night). These first few days have been very hard, a lot of nasty physical withdraws, lack of sleep, no motivation, & EXTREMLY DEPRESSED. I've always been such a happy person, and I know a lot of it has to do with the WD, but Im so sad and emotional, its a terrible feeling. Every post that I read on here brings me tears, and I just look back and wonder how the hell I did this to myself....

I have been ready to start applying for salary jobs but my addiction has me stuck in a rut. Now I have no $$$ whatsoever, and Im behind on quite a few of my bills. I just need some motivation to get me through this again, and help me get back on my feet and back to my normal happy self. I feel I am loosing friends, and loved ones because all I do is sit around eat pills and blow them off. I need to move on.... please help

Thanks for reading


Sorry for such a long post, had a lot on my mind.

Hi, Im Dior Im your age.YOU CAN DO THIS! I promise. The addiction is a disease and you have to WANT to stop doing it to be able to stop. Beleive in yourself! Do it cause you NEED your life back =) I will kepp checking on you, please let us know how you are doing~Keep busy and take walks , Definitly try the Thomas receipe! Please let us know how you are doing .."Jess"

[herenow44]

I have read about Subs very extensivley through this site, and through other articles. I thought about tapering down with subs or similar meds, but as I stated Im low on $$, and even though I am insured I heard it takes a few weeks to get an appt. Any suggestions???

Dior have you gone through a similar addiction??? any other tips you can give me???

Thank you both so much for your support it is exactly what I need right now, by some grace of god my work randomly called and told me that I could have the day off, so I've been laying in bed all day. Think I might try and get up and walk the pup. Thanks again I'll keep you posted...

Will

[HenryNCBA]

Originally Posted by herenow44

I have read about Subs very extensivley through this site, and through other articles. I thought about tapering down with subs or similar meds, but as I stated Im low on $$, and even though I am insured I heard it takes a few weeks to get an appt. Any suggestions???

Dior have you gone through a similar addiction??? any other tips you can give me???

Thank you both so much for your support it is exactly what I need right now, by some grace of god my work randomly called and told me that I could have the day off, so I've been laying in bed all day. Think I might try and get up and walk the pup. Thanks again I'll keep you posted...

Will

That is great you have a puppy. It will help keep your mind off the W/D. That and the exercise will do you good. You will have to force yourself to do it but believe me you will feel a world of difference. I also found that hot baths will be your best friend. I practically wanted to live in my tub it felt so good.
Hang in there!

Henry

[herenow44]

Yea deff helps to have an animal, hes like a son to me, so I need to do this for him and me!!! HENRY, you dont know how much I appreciate your kind words and posititive enforcement. It means more to me than you'll ever know. Im going on about 48 hrs (give or take) being clean, and it's deff a rollercoaster, with a lot more downs than up's. But to anyone reading who might be going thru the same thing, MUSIC helps a lotttt, and long drives/walks (when u can motivate yourself to do so).

Thanks again for the love and support!!!!

[iloerose]

Herenow44:
Hi and congratulations on taking the plunge. The first right thing you did was post here, as you have seen you will get support from many great people who have been where you are now. You can do this c/t. I did. Make sure you take the supplements and you may need the immodium. The L-Tyrosine taken with the b-6 will help the lethargy. Make sure you stay hydrated. Garorade is great. Take your supplements as well as some pottasium for restless leg. There is also something called hyland's restful leg that you can get at walmart or a healthfood store. Eat well and get excercise, as much as you can. My dog took me for walks everyday twice a day Stay positive. You are coming up on the hardest days for most people days 3-5. Once you hit days 4-5 you will start feeling yourself again. You're emotions will wreak a bit of havoc with you, baby yourself, watch a movie, cry, whatever makes you feel better. I'm an educated person with a good job good family and that ever present questions was there: "What the heck did I do to myself?" and "Why?" particularly because the drugs were doing 0 for me except making me sick. But, well, what's done is done and it's time to move on. You can do this thing. Hang tough and before you know it, it will be over and you will never have to use again. And post, post, post.

Peace, will be praying for you,

IloeRose

[HenryNCBA]

Hey Herenow44,
Hope you are doing okay today. I know different though as you will be hitting that downward plunge on that roller coaster you are riding. I won't lie to you but you are going to feel REALLY bad. As Iloerose stated your emotions will play havoc on you. You WILL become moody, mad, happy for a few seconds, confused, very scared, super depressed, hopeless, etc......Just remember that when this happens get back on this post and read other peoples threads on what they went through and study it. That will really help put your mind at ease because you will feel like you might want to panic. What ever you do, do NOT take or get back on those pain meds! Just ingrain this into your mind that this is your bodies way of telling you that you messed up and that it wants the drugs back in there to make it feel better. Don't give in to that request. That is the addiction talking there and just tell it to go someplace where the sun don't shine and push through this. You can do it. Take advice from all the good folks on this site that have been through what you are about to go through. This may be the most difficult thing you have or are ever going to go through. Again you really will feel terrible both physically and mentally. THIS IS NORMAL for withdrawal. Everyone is different though and you may suffer very much which would be a blessing if that was the case. When the body aches and pains start though get in hot bath. Really that will make a world of difference. It may not seem like it and you may not want to but do it. It won't hurt and you really will feel better. You won't believe how much you took a hot bath for granted. As stated also make sure you stay hydrated. This is very important as you may vomit or may not and you may even do so many times. You may also get the runs really bad and think you don't have any more fluids left in you so stay hydrated. You want to keep as clear a head as possible. If you don't keep a clear mind then your emotions and feelings starts taking over to keep you going and it is going to push you to take the route that it feels best which is the wrong way and that is to get back on the pain meds. Don't give in to that so it really helps to keep as clear a mind as possible.
Hang in there buddy!

Henry

[herenow44]

Thanks again all for the loving supprt it has really been helping me through this.... Day 3 has deff been no fun. I've been very noxious and had the runs non stop. Going to go get some meds when I feel up to getting out of the house. I'm really REALLY hoping that tomorrow I will feel more normal, cause these symptoms are no fun at all. I'm glad that I have been able to stick with it tho..... this is by far the longest I have gone without taking pain meds in the past 6 months, so there is a small sense of accomplishment shinning through the lingering depressing feeling. Im going to stick with this and hopefully the next few days will be much easier...

Thanks for listening and caring

Will

[keemo7]

Well, it sounds like you've reached a fork in the road. Of course, the smartest and healthiest thing you could do is to continue your life without drugs. You are young enough in your addiction to get through your discomfort. Honestly, if you start taking them again, you might as well get a gun and blow your brains out. Because, if you think it's hard now, you have NO IDEA just how horrible your life WILL become if you don't quit what you've been doing. I'm just being honest here, and I believe that every other middle-aged, hard-core drugaddict would tell you the same thing. There's really no reason to sugar-coat it, because you need the hard facts of life. I sincerely hope you make the right decision.

[mottam]

Originally Posted by herenow44

Thanks again all for the loving supprt it has really been helping me through this.... Day 3 has deff been no fun. I've been very noxious and had the runs non stop. Going to go get some meds when I feel up to getting out of the house. I'm really REALLY hoping that tomorrow I will feel more normal, cause these symptoms are no fun at all. I'm glad that I have been able to stick with it tho..... this is by far the longest I have gone without taking pain meds in the past 6 months, so there is a small sense of accomplishment shinning through the lingering depressing feeling. Im going to stick with this and hopefully the next few days will be much easier...

Thanks for listening and caring

Will

hn44:
Listen:
Take Imodium for the stomach issues - it works great.
Your are on day 3 - half way there. Do not turn back; do not use.

In a few days, this $hit is over, and you will feel so much better.
The depression goes away (and man, that is a tough one), the diarrhea goes away, the shakes go away, the anxiety goes away.

Drink the Gatorade and take the mutli-vitamin.
You may not realize it, but you are winning - BIG TIME.

Simple rule - do not use.


Best of luck
Mottam

[herenow44]

Yea Im really hoping the depression will go away. I feel that if I wasn't feeling so drained and depressed I could fight off the physical side of it MUCH easier. I have done a few things throughout the past few days; gone out with friends etc. Which really makes you feel more upbeat when your out and enjoying the company of others, but as soon as I come home, I get that sinking depressing feeling, hopeless, bored and extremly lonley. I feel it would really benefit to have a significant other to spend your free time with and be able to have them care for you and nurture you in ways your friends and family just can't do ( & I dont mean in this in a sexual context) Spending the night with your gf/bf while goin thru WD's would realive a lot of the depression in my opinion. But I know going thru this on my own will deff make me a much stronger person in the long run. I've passed the 72 hour mark with no pain meds, and am continuing to stay strong. I know I can get through this.

Havin a few drinks to take the edge off at night,or taking a few low miligram xanax (my presciption is .25mg) throughout the day tend to help. Mind you that this is just my opinion and I have never had an addiction with alcohol or anyother drug. Keep in mind that the Xanax can help, but they can also make you feel more lathergic, and heavy drinking is just going to cause your next day to be 200x worse than it would have been if you had'nt drank at all. A glass of red wine should do the trick

Thanks for posting everyone IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME


Will

[herenow44]

Going good.... Yestderday was my 4th day and I felt a lot better emotionally, but had a really bad headache all day. Took a few tylenol, and felt a little better. I felt 100x better today, deff not 100% but pretty close to it. I thank everyone on here for reading and posting. I will update periodicly with how I am doing.

Will

(For anyone tyring to quit pain killers, just keep in mind that after a few tough days you start to feel like your old self again)

[mamahink]

Hello. I want you to know that I completely understand what it feels like to be in your situation.

I am a 41 yr. old mother of two. I've been addicted to pain meds on and off for about 5 yrs. now. I say on and off because there are days when I don't take anything at all, but then my brain tricks me into believing that I can handle them, so I start again. I have a chronic illness called fibromyalgia, so I am truly in pain, but I began mixing them with xanax, and that got out of hand, and caused real problem--legal problems. I lost my teaching job after 10 yrs. because of my addiction. It's funny how you can be a cop or a doctor and they let you go to rehab and try to continue your normal life, but if you're a teacher and break your moral clause then there's no second chance.

I've tried quitting many times. I have to take at least 3 or 4 10 mg just to feel anything, including the energy, which is what I really need because of fibromyalgia. I could only take 1 or 2 pills to help with the pain, but it doesn't get me off my ass and make me as productive as I used to be.

I feel like I've lost everything. I don't work. My relationship with my kids has suffered, and I got a divorce (which wasn't a bad thing at all). But, now I am financially strapped.

I suggest taking a week off from work and trying the Thomas Recipe for withdrawal, or going to a doc that you can be open and honest with enough to get a script for something to help. The depression has been the worst for me. Those stupid pills motivate me like nothing else can, and I don't now why.

I hope you make it. If not, you'll have to be honest enough with someone that can help you find an excellent facility with an extended stay. God bless, and remember this is happening to educated people who start out recreationally or because of injury or illness. That's what makes it so hard. We aren't supposed to let this happen to us. We feel we should know better, but those little white devils will grab even the best of individuals.

mamahink

[iloerose]

Originally Posted by herenow44

Going good.... Yestderday was my 4th day and I felt a lot better emotionally, but had a really bad headache all day. Took a few tylenol, and felt a little better. I felt 100x better today, deff not 100% but pretty close to it. I thank everyone on here for reading and posting. I will update periodicly with how I am doing.

Will

(For anyone tyring to quit pain killers, just keep in mind that after a few tough days you start to feel like your old self again)

Hey WIll! you must be on day 5 or 6, congratulations for hanging in there! We go through some rough stuff trying to kick this thing. Yeah, take tylenol or excedrin migraine for headaches. A little Xanax as needed is not a bad thing either, if is part of the thomas recipe, just don't let it become a sustitute for dealing with the anxiety. Under the recipe it's not meant to be taken for more than a few days. There are other things you can take like valerian root, kava-kava, and some other things that you can find at your health food store. The depression, anxiety, etc. will get better as you go along. Take that little puppy for a walk, I know my dog saved me by taking me for walks twice a day . I did my c/t pretty much alone, this board was a life saver! You are making it through though, and YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN! Keep in mind this is a process not an event. So proud of you for hanging in there! Keep on and go hard, as a kiwi friend of mine used to say!

Peace,

IloeRose

[pobb]

hey man I just wanted to tell you that im on day 9 now of the same cold turkey withdrawal that you are going through.

God the first week was hellish, the depression, anxiety, boredom then the physical stuff like that damn restless leg and arms (they just didn't seem to stop)

I bet you are having bad sleep too, its all part of the process and im sorry that there is no cure for that apart from as much rest as you can get. Even though you probably wake up suddenly before the sun is up and your mind is fully awake.

You should be proud of yourself my friend, really, its a tough ride, especially when alot of us do it alone. Some never seek the help they require because the are too shy or anxious to admit it to anyone else ( i am included here ).

People often suggest taking other things to help, but like you, I have no £££ for all that stuff. But let me suggest just getting plenty of fluids, try a tea or two. goto the toilet as much as you need, its your body getting rid of all that waste that has collaborated over the months.

The craving demons are also one of the worst **********es to get past, what I suggest with that is just keep your mind off it. What I seem to do is swap between the TV and PC, even every half hour. I understand the boredom that comes with the long days.

Keep us updated, im proud of you.

PS this is my first post here, so hello everyone.

[herenow44]

Sorry I havent posted recently :=\ I've got my life pretty much back on track and have been busying working, and searching for a new job. It's been over two weeks (almost 3)since I last took any pain killers, and besides a few random cravings on stresfulls days, companied with MILD depression I feel 100% better. I plan on still taking it one day at a time, and remaining clean from that nasty ******** foreverrrrrr

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME THRU THIS, I will post if I ever need more love and support.

Will