[lilbri]

Hi Tony ive been checking in on you. How's the mental and depression battle going. Have you dumped the perc's yet because when this is over you just mite want to try one again. SO GET RID OF THEM. Now take two vitiams at a time not one drink gatoraid or water not cola. Oh ya your dooing great it took me ten times longer. Brian.

[usmc_ret]

Brian,
Not too good. I'm so glad that I'm away from home so my wife and kids don't see me like this. I'm going to try and go to bed at 10 tonight. I have to take the ambien. That helped me alot last night from seeing images in the dark.
My Percs are in my truck outside. As soon as I get outside I'm going to dump them. The anxiety them being gone is not good. I have to do it though.
I sincerely appreciate you and the group checking in on me. I'm still here!
Tony

[usmc_ret]

Gang,
Day 4 coming to an end. After 9 pm now. I'll be checking in tomorrow. I'm wore out. Hopelessness starting to take over. Can't smile or think happy thoughts.

I must keep this commitment to myself.
Have a great Monday!
Tony

[lilbri]

Tony i know what you mean. I had mine on the table next to my bed but i also wanted to stop so bad. I told my girlfrend to sleep in the spare bedroom for a few day's then i started eating valium. Two and a half day's later i came out and asked for a sandwitch. She sead i looked like sh-t but i fealt a little better. As soon as i could i gave those pill's away because having no energy was very hard on me just ask Robert or Melinda. Brian.

[MaisieC]

Good luck at work tomorrow, Tony. I hope you'll be feeling better!

[usmc_ret]

Well it's it's 630pm, day 5 clean of Percs and also the first day of my new job. I had a bad morning but I seemed to cover it up pretty well.

Lunch time- I went to CVS and got some Centrium. I took the vitamin and was able to eat 3/4 of a roast beef sandwich. So far so good.
I also bought a jug of Gatorade and drank it all down throughout the rest of the day. It seems as if I am starting to regain myself. I did not cry today but did sweat like there's no tomorrow.
I had a bagel and a small salad for dinner and still so far so good.

Could it be that this may be actually happening? I have this group to thank for everything thus far. I know I would have "broke" if it hadn't been for you.

coming to the end of day 5. Wish me luck!

Tony

[MaisieC]

It's so good to hear from you! I've been thinking about you today and hoping you were doing well. It really does sound like you've begun to turn the corner with this thing. You must be pretty wiped out; I hope you sleep well tonight. So glad to hear that you're eating, and the Gatorade should be really good for you too. Congrats on getting through today! Take care, and hang in there.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by usmc_ret

Well it's it's 630pm, day 5 clean of Percs and also the first day of my new job. I had a bad morning but I seemed to cover it up pretty well.

Lunch time- I went to CVS and got some Centrium. I took the vitamin and was able to eat 3/4 of a roast beef sandwich. So far so good.
I also bought a jug of Gatorade and drank it all down throughout the rest of the day. It seems as if I am starting to regain myself. I did not cry today but did sweat like there's no tomorrow.
I had a bagel and a small salad for dinner and still so far so good.

Could it be that this may be actually happening? I have this group to thank for everything thus far. I know I would have "broke" if it hadn't been for you.

coming to the end of day 5. Wish me luck!

Tony

Hi Tony ... most people begin to start making progress by the sixth day. The thing is once you have a good day each day then normally gets a little better.

It sounds like today was an improvement to me. I would expect that tomorrow will be a little better and then the next day you will be able to tell a big difference. I only base that on what is normal going forward from where you are today as you described it. There is nothing scientific about what I anticipate. But you will be seeing a big change over the next two days as long as you don't use. God bless.

[Princess2112]

Originally Posted by usmc_ret

Brian,
Not too good. I'm so glad that I'm away from home so my wife and kids don't see me like this. I'm going to try and go to bed at 10 tonight. I have to take the ambien. That helped me alot last night from seeing images in the dark.
My Percs are in my truck outside. As soon as I get outside I'm going to dump them. The anxiety them being gone is not good. I have to do it though.
I sincerely appreciate you and the group checking in on me. I'm still here!
Tony

Hi Tony! Congrats on getting clean. I know it's hard, but you're doing great!

One suggestion though...don't dump the percs that you still have in your bottle, FLUSH them! Get rid of them totally! Robert was right, you have to totally commit to this. It's a HUGE step for you to gather up the strength to flush them! Once you do, you'll feel even better. Tomorrow or the next day will be much better for you. My worst days were days 3-5 when I was in withdrawl. It gets a lot better physically and then mentally. Stay strong!

[usmc_ret]

Talk about a wake up call....
Now I do know that I'm not alone because I didn't mention anything about me dumping the pills. Nothing gets past you guys!
I hope that after I get through this I can help the next person with this problem. I believe it's my duty to do exactly what you guys are doing for me.

You don't know me. I don't know you. But, it truly takes a special person to help out a complete stranger. You have been my lifeline through the last 5 days.

[Princess2112]

Originally Posted by usmc_ret

Brian,
Not too good. I'm so glad that I'm away from home so my wife and kids don't see me like this. I'm going to try and go to bed at 10 tonight. I have to take the ambien. That helped me alot last night from seeing images in the dark.
My Percs are in my truck outside. As soon as I get outside I'm going to dump them. The anxiety them being gone is not good. I have to do it though.
I sincerely appreciate you and the group checking in on me. I'm still here!
Tony

LOL! Yeah, you mentioned it.

[MaisieC]

Originally Posted by usmc_ret

I hope that after I get through this I can help the next person with this problem. I believe it's my duty to do exactly what you guys are doing for me.

You don't know me. I don't know you. But, it truly takes a special person to help out a complete stranger. You have been my lifeline through the last 5 days.

It's a duty and a pleasure, and as you get further into recovery, you'll see that helping others is really also helpful to you yourself. I am feeling kind of ********py these days myself, having gone now 11 days without Tramadol (though God knows I've been much worse, and I'm really grateful for the mildness of my withdrawal this time). Being able to be supportive of others gives me a lot of strength and helps me stay focused within my own recovery. It's reciprocal, somehow, and it's very profound. I don't entirely understand the psychology of it, but I think everyone here would agree that the community--what they call "fellowship"--is totally the lifeline for most of us.

[lilbri]

Tony you sound good. You will do fine now. Good luck Brian.

[usmc_ret]

Pardon me for the "bulk" response,

Princess, I know I know I know what I said :-( man, it's not as easy as I thought.

Maisie, how long did it take you to actually dump the pills if you don't mind me asking?

Brian, Robert, I know you got my back in this too.

I'm doing the best I can. My wife told me I sounded so much better on the phone today. I'm so trying not to get her stressed out while we're apart. She is prepping our home to sell in NC (just to catch you guys back up).

Please continue to check my posts. This is a HUGE thing in my life right now. I NEED you all MOST right now!

God Bless,
Tony (5 days clean)

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by usmc_ret

Pardon me for the "bulk" response,

Princess, I know I know I know what I said :-( man, it's not as easy as I thought.

Maisie, how long did it take you to actually dump the pills if you don't mind me asking?

Brian, Robert, I know you got my back in this too.

I'm doing the best I can. My wife told me I sounded so much better on the phone today. I'm so trying not to get her stressed out while we're apart. She is prepping our home to sell in NC (just to catch you guys back up).

Please continue to check my posts. This is a HUGE thing in my life right now. I NEED you all MOST right now!

God Bless,
Tony (5 days clean)

Hi tony
I just wanted to jump in and tell you what a great job you are doing...
I have been out of town and haven't been on here much.
LOL,,,I was looking on here and you never said if you did flush those pills...
I had a stash of vics when I stopped taking my pills and when I flushed them OH MAN it felt so good,It was like I said good by to the addiction,so if you haven't flushed them give it a try.LOL...
Sorry I wasn't there in the beginning to cheer you on,but you have Done very well...
Talk to you soon ,Melinda

[usmc_ret]

Melinda,
We'll you're here now and it means the world to me.

If I know I am responsible to you guys and you are counting on me gives me more power to control this w/d time period.

-Tony

[usmc_ret]

ok gang, I'm heading for bed. I have to get back in the swing of reading before bed so I can try and mentally get myself back and try and kick the erge of relapse. I'll report in tomorrow.

Thanks! Tony (5 days clean) praying for day 6.

[MaisieC]

Tony, I have dumped so many pills I can't remember...then gone back out and bought more. I am not exactly a poster child for getting off pills. This time I ran out of money and ran out of pills. The really, really odd thing--at least odd for me--is that I saw this coming and actually tapered off, carefully using up the amount I had. More typical for me would be to WANT to taper but just keep taking pills as usual...leading to a pretty heavy dependency and therefore a terrible withdrawal. Also odd was the fact that I didn't do anything stupid financially in order to get more pills.

I don't know why this time is different, but I'm attributing it to God. No kidding, I really think He intervened. I'm not craving pills or scheming how to get them. And I'm not a stronger person than I used to be. Somehow I'm just done with it. I know I have to keep up with my recovery and go to meetings and stuff...I don't think I'm magically cured or anything. I will always be an addict. But I do think I've had a major blessing here, and I don't want to blow it.

I always found it very hard to flush pills. There can be a real feeling of fear as you see the little suckers swirling their way down. But I think Robert's question about hanging on to the pills is a really good thing to think about: "safe" from what? You're able to get through the withdrawal, you've really done great. That would be the only potential "safety" I would see in keeping the pills, and it sounds like you're through the worst of it. Now I think it's increasingly UNsafe to have those pills around, because they can only lead in one direction, and God knows you don't want to go there again.

I hope you sleep great tonight and have a good day tomorrow!

[Fiorina]

Heya Tony,

I've got to make this quick as I'm heading to work.

I've been taking percocet for about a year now and I share the same withdrawls without it. I suffer from Chronic Kidney stones. I didn't have a severe addiction as I limited myself to 10mg a day, but I do share those same symptoms without it. I find taking hot baths to be helpful. I read somewhere that soaking helps pull the meds out of your intestines, which is where it's stored(if theres any left in you).

Also, I've tried ambien because I too suffer from light insomnia as a side effect of the percocet. I have a very strange tolerance for some drugs as they make me sick and ambien was one of them. It made me have strange dreams and I spent more time awake than asleep. I found relief with a over the counter drug called 'Simply Sleep' by the makers of Tylonel or 'Unisom' in gel tab form. Basically, it's just your Tylenol PM without the acetaminophen(pain reliever). It's non habit forming and it works well for me. It's available at any pharmacy in tablet and gel cap form.

Hope this has been of some help.

-dan

[usmc_ret]

Maisie,
I'm so proud of you for beating this thing. I think I have to talk to someone and start group just to be around others who are beating these addictions. Yes, God interviened. He knows you and He loves you! It has been hard for me but as I read the posts in the rooms and see what others have gone and are going through I can't help but put myself aside and just think about the people I've watched on "Intervention" and secretly thought in my head that they were just trying to get attention. This is a serious thing and has changed me as a person... for the better.

-Tony (6 days clean)

[usmc_ret]

Dan,
Boy you sound like me brother. I've had 31 kidney stones to date starting from the age of 16. I've had 4 surgerys to get those buggers out. Never cut by a knife, but that "other" thing with the camera and basket waking to urinating air.

I was diag with RLS after a sleep study about 3 years ago and have been on Ambien ever since. I've gained about 25 lbs together with Percocet and Ambien. Sleeping, eating, and forgetting, and eating some more.

The hard cardio stopped around mid 2006 for back problems. AND.... Here come the Percocets for pain. Boy oh boy I thought I found the love of my life in the little white pills.
I had a L-5/S-1 total disc replacement in March of 2007. And.... Here come the DOUBLE DOSES of Percocet.
I don't even know how much my back really hurt since I DID NOT BECOME SOBER AT ALL since mid 2006 to even check.
Just kept swallowing them and smiling and having the time of my life in la-la land. In Nov 2008, my wife finally approached me and said she thought I had a problem. Of course being me since they were legally prescribed thought the Dr. knew exactly what he was doing and would never let me get addicted. OOH WHAT A BAD ASSUMPTION. It was (as still would be) easy to call the Dr. and get a script.

From my very limited experience of being clean I'm trying remember the last time I was as coherent as I am now. I can't. I was always loving popping those pills. We went on vacation together to the Bahamas. Shoot, we even went to bed and woke up together. Even though Percocets aren't human, they are BAD and they are alive. They will eat you up and not even look back at you.
I've also tried the simply sleep tabs. They don't work for me for some reason. Once this Percocet w/d is over, whenever that may be, I will stop the Ambien.

Day 6, 145pm actually not doing as bad as days 2,3,4,5.

-Tony

[Robert_325]

Tony ... congratulations! You've turned the corner my friend. Give this another couple days and you will feel like a brand new person. Hang in there. God bless.

[usmc_ret]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I have to actually dump them for real. I went to work without them today. Even though I haven't used in 6 days, they still have been there for me.

-Tony

[Robert_325]

Don't dump them and take a chance of some kid finding them. They are the devil. You know it, so flush them! End their sick existance once and for all. You don't need them anymore it's obvious. All they can do is hurt you now. God bless.

[usmc_ret]

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your megabytes.

At 705 pm on 6 Jan 2009, I dumped 33 Percocet pills in the toilet. I have no more. I just moved out of town and have no Dr. to give me any more.

I don't need them in control of my life anymore. No crying today! No sweating! Back eating! Also telling jokes and smiling.

The w/d is not over. I can tell. Still jumpy and anxious. Feelings of depression but very different (in a better way) as days go on.

When I needed to talk (type) you were there for me. Put another feather in your caps ladies and gentlemen for I am clean!!

Semper Fi!
Tony (6 days clean)

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by usmc_ret

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your megabytes.

At 705 pm on 6 Jan 2009, I dumped 33 Percocet pills in the toilet. I have no more. I just moved out of town and have no Dr. to give me any more.

I don't need them in control of my life anymore. No crying today! No sweating! Back eating! Also telling jokes and smiling.

The w/d is not over. I can tell. Still jumpy and anxious. Feelings of depression but very different (in a better way) as days go on.

When I needed to talk (type) you were there for me. Put another feather in your caps ladies and gentlemen for I am clean!!

Semper Fi!
Tony (6 days clean)

You just made my day and you put a BIG smile on my face.
You Made it my friend,I'm so happy for you.
Now you can go on with your life and live it to the fullest...
Really proud of you...
Happy Day...
Talk to you later ,Melinda

[lilbri]

Tony you sead you had a total disk replacement in the L5/S1 how are you now. I just had that done last month.Did it work for you. Tell me how do you feel. Brian.

[usmc_ret]

Brian,
I can tell you all about it my friend. It would probably be more proper to do that over email to respect others who are subscribed to this group. What's your addy?
Tony

[usmc_ret]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

You just made my day and you put a BIG smile on my face.
You Made it my friend,I'm so happy for you.
Now you can go on with your life and live it to the fullest...
Really proud of you...
Happy Day...
Talk to you later ,Melinda

Melinda, We're going to be a-ok. Gosh life is goooooood!

[MaisieC]

Hi Tony,

Hoooooray!!!! Like Melinda, I'm sitting here with a big ol' smile on my face reading your post. I'm so happy for you! Congratulations, and special congratulations for flushing those eeeevil little pills. I know that took guts. It's great to hear you sounding so upbeat. You really will continue to feel better and better from now on. There will still be times when you feel kind of disoriented. I still have this "reach for the bottle" impulse, which is completely unconscious, but it's a real reminder of how I was misusing those pills. And it's weird when there is nothing there to reach for. But we don't need 'em, do we?

Thank you so much for your kind words to me; they really make a difference, as you know. I appreciate it a lot!

Have you given any thought to going to any kind of support group, that is in-person? I sometimes find it helpful to go to AA, although I am not an alcoholic. In NYC, at least where I live, the Narcotics Anonymous group is pretty hardcore and I feel like a total wimp. (Not that anyone made me feel like that--everyone is very welcoming...it's just my trip.) The AA fellowship is really great and supportive, and it's wonderful to know you're not alone. Just something to think about....

Have a great day tomorrow!