[iwannachange4ever]

Hello,
My girlfriend and I quit a painpill addiction Sunday for the fourth time. We have been on them 2 months since the last time we quit. We take whatever we can get our hands on percs, vikes, oc's it doesn't matter. We both stayed home from work today and we are starting to move around the house a little more. I just was hoping to have someone for us to talk to while we battled through this. We are very secret about are addiction and nobody knows about it. We hope this is the final time to go through these terrible withdrawls. We never wanna go back on them again. We have been crying to each other all weekend and all day today. Well I hope to find a friend that I can talk to about all of this. Im not worried about the withdrawls as much they suck, but I have been through them a few times now and I know its just a matter of time and I will feel better. Please keep us in your prayers. Thanks for reading this.

[Angela H]

Iwannachange~
Welcome!
It sounds like you and your gf want to quit. What kind of quantity are you talking that you were taking? How many pills average a day were you taking? You said you quit 2 months ago. What made you go back? Did she quit with you or was she still using while you were quitting? I don't mean to bombard you with questions...just want to know a little history.
Everyone here is so supportive...believe me...if you stay here and keep posting and get her to come on here...y'all will get some great support and advice...as everyone here is either actively using, recently clean (me...well, I guess you could say that)(more on that later), relapsing, and people with a lot of clean time.
If it were not for these boards, I don't think I coul've or would've done it...then, anyway.
So please feel free to post and ask as many questions as you want...that's what we're here for. Maybe we will learn something from you!
Welcome Aboard,
Angela

[LISA GIRL]

Wow! Just wanted to say hello all the new peeps on the board. Tinkers, I was at work today...it was a hard day.. I feel like I should be tapering before I go to the sub for an easiser transition..but then there is the part of me that just wants to get in all I can in my final days.. Feels like I have been on here talking about quitting forever. And I have been. Won't you all be glad when I quit talking about it and DO it? s


Welcome to everyone new.. You have found a supportive place where you can open your life without fear of judgment. I love coming home from work and coming to the board.. it's practically the first thing I do...definitely a better addiction than any pain pills...

[Kaidog]

LISA:

Who you picking tonight?

[Kaidog]

Regardless of their record, I can't go against Green Bay. Favre is past his prime but still a potentially lethal weapon,........... a real warrior.

Now that I've said that, it's the kiss of death for any team.

[LISA GIRL]

quote:Originally posted by Kaidog

LISA:

Who you picking tonight?

Philly, but I am a Favre fan so it kind of hurts me to do so...[V],

MOMMY where are you?????????????????

[Angela H]

Lisa~
What's up girl? How ya doing? I feel like it's been forever since we talked on here...I miss that!
I know what you mean when you said you get home and wanna check the board first thing. It's always the first thing I do when I come home...I find it extremely theraputical. I love seeing everyone's progress.
I understand you feeling that you should taper before Sub treatment, but hey, don't beat yourself up over it...look at it kind of as a good-bye party...but instead of remembering it fondly as we all do of the beginning...focus on how it's taken over your life and that now you're not free. That you can't go on a trip if you don't have your pills, or would freak out if you got on an airplane and realized your pills weren't on the plane. Try to think about the control over your life that you've lost due to these pills and then you will remember why you're quitting. Keep your eye on the prize!
The prize is your life back. You'll see.
When do you start Sub? You know I'm here for you. Need anything? Anytime...you know where I am.
Love ya, sista,
Angela

[Angela H]

Mommy~
Where are you? Check in...we're all looking for ya! How ya doing on the Sub? Had any cravings? Still sleeping well?

[JAYBIS]

quote:Originally posted by likwid-solutions

I have been reading stories online about how some people are having a really hard time coming off suboxone. My doctor said that this is a 3 month program, and if I need more time I can take it, but that's what scares me. What if at 3 months I'm still at the same dosage and it's either withdraw from sub or continue using. I really want to be opiate free. I have only been addicted about 9 months but I mostly snorted oxy's, so my withdrawals aren't light. Has anyone ran out of their sub? And if so how do the withdrawals compare?

I had been on suboxone for about 16 months. It is much better then chasing pills on the street, but the withdrawals still suck. My suggestion is to get down to 1 mg day, then 1mg every other day, and then every two day and soo on. I tried comming off 6 mg. I made it 4 days and it was too much to handle. Its best comming off VERY slow. I am now on subutex and feel more normal. I am down to 4 mg a day and am going to give it another shot.

Good Luck[)]

[LISA GIRL]

Angela, if I remember correctly, I think you owe ME an e mail

I am looking at it like a last hurrah, but it has been a realllly long hurrah. I will try to focus this week on all that I will be gaining rather than all I will be losing. I will be starting the sub this weekend...probably Sunday.. Monday is the absolute drop dead date but I think I want to stop Sunday and get used to the sub on Monday (I have that day off work.) Tinkers is designated hold me accountable to that date person..I know you will be there.. You might be getting a few e mails that day from me when I'm sweating and feeling anxious.. I hate that feeling... all those who have quit know THAT feeling.. icky!


Kaidog... GreenBay ahead 9-7....Good for Favre.. Not so good for Lisa

Jaybis... What is the difference between suboxone and subutex? What did you get on them for in the first place? 16 mos seems like a really long time although my doctor did say some people choose to just stay on suboxone for life..

Worst case scenario anyone.. what would be the problem with that? I am sure there is one...I know you would still be addicted to an opiate but if I have my energy/life back.. not obsessed with the other.. I'm not spending crazy money on it.. what if one did choose a life of suboxone (apparently some do).. what would be the worst thing about that?

[Angela H]

Jaybis~
Hey and welcome! Glad to have you here.
You said you were now on Subutex (off of Suboxone) and felt better. Why do you think that is? I'm currently on Subutex and have been for 7 weeks. I thought the two drugs were identical except for the Naloxone. Shouldn't change the effect of the drug...or am I wrong? What is the difference in your opinion?
If I may ask, what is the addiction you are treating? Just curious. Mine is a 5 year pain pill habit.
Thanks for your input.

[nymommy]

hey. everyone...had a busy day/night.~first amen!! kaidog to your brillant response to the parents of that kid..pls listen to the words, perfectly said~~~~~lisa ..have your last hurrah..pls start your sub on sunday..kick back and watch a football game ~~lets go mets!!!!( i know ..wrong sport..but i am a crazy ny met fan)..angela~~~im doing great..no cravings, anxious to get off the sub.have an appt tommorrow..on the phone he said 4 more weeks i guess he knows best.i could have never come this far w/o you guys..funny how new people post, you read their stories..and know somehow they are on their way to recovery.after all didnt we all start here..i remember my 1st post ( after lurking)..hitting the send bottom was hard..but wow it has paid off..this place has been my therapy~~~~~~~~~~~where is lazer did i miss his post

[JAYBIS]

quote:Originally posted by Angela H

Jaybis~
Hey and welcome! Glad to have you here.
You said you were now on Subutex (off of Suboxone) and felt better. Why do you think that is? I'm currently on Subutex and have been for 7 weeks. I thought the two drugs were identical except for the Naloxone. Shouldn't change the effect of the drug...or am I wrong? What is the difference in your opinion?
If I may ask, what is the addiction you are treating? Just curious. Mine is a 5 year pain pill habit.
Thanks for your input.

Angela,
Ive been taking pretty much any pain pill i could get for about 6 years, percs,vicodin and then started sniffing oxys. I started taking suboxone and tried a detox program. The detox turned to maintenence and I did not feel happy. I spoke with my doc and he said I should try subutex. I did and this is what i found. The naloxone blocks your receptors, and normal things that should make me happy did not when I was on suboxone. Playing with my kids or going to the gym did not give me that happy feeling. I was very unsocial. I did not want to go any where, and I hate to say but I lost my mojo(for a lack of a better word). Now that I changed to subutex I feel like im back. My friends and family agree. Good luck.

[iwannachange4ever]

quote:Originally posted by Angela H

Iwannachange~
Welcome!
It sounds like you and your gf want to quit. What kind of quantity are you talking that you were taking? How many pills average a day were you taking? You said you quit 2 months ago. What made you go back? Did she quit with you or was she still using while you were quitting? I don't mean to bombard you with questions...just want to know a little history.
Everyone here is so supportive...believe me...if you stay here and keep posting and get her to come on here...y'all will get some great support and advice...as everyone here is either actively using, recently clean (me...well, I guess you could say that)(more on that later), relapsing, and people with a lot of clean time.
If it were not for these boards, I don't think I coul've or would've done it...then, anyway.
So please feel free to post and ask as many questions as you want...that's what we're here for. Maybe we will learn something from you!
Welcome Aboard,
Angela

[iwannachange4ever]

Hey, this is angie, I am the "girlfriend" that is also trying to quit. You asked how many we took.. and it really just depended on the day, these last few weeks though it all that was available were oxy's and I tried so hard to convince him not to get them, because I know how powerful they are. (But obviously nobody shoved them down my throat.) What made us go back? I think a huge part of it is, for one thing, they are all around us...everyone does them it seems, and while I understand that is NO excuse, it is just sooo hard to be around it without giving in, and thinking.."just this one time won't hurt anything." Next thing I know, its two months later, and I'm falling asleep at work, feeling like a total loser...once again... another thing--I think we fall back on them when things are really stressful... That is usually another cause to want them pretty badly... to get that numbing affect...I guess my biggest question is, that sub-thing you guys have been referring to.. what is that? and do you think it would help to make this time be the last? Ihave always felt so guilty taking pills.. and both of us want to quit sooo bad and just be done with it, but everytime we are doing so well. something happens.. (he gets these things called "cluster headaches" and sometimes that leads to a RX of painpills prescribed to him...and as much as we dont want to, we think.. it wont hurt, just this once... I am rambling, but I just need to know how to make it work this time... I'm so exhausted from dealing with the ups and downs of this...I just want it out of my life for good. any advice would be so appreciated...PS whenever we have quit, it has been together...we both really want this.

[sparky]

To Lissa Girl and NY mommy.......I am 3 days off sub....so total about 23 days off vikes.....weaned down to 1/4 which is2mg...unfortunely I did not have the pills to split into 1mg or I would have....yes I am in a bit of withdraw from sub. I cant sleep , cant get comfortable....won't go back to vikes....took 15-25 or more depending on the day....the sub was great to end the vike nightmare....but as I have been learning it will get better, thats what your get from NA meetings: support.....I am counting the days until I feeling really good on my own natural high on life.....I have concerns ofother sub docs who want to prescibe more pills and charge more for office visits etc....my place I went to was not about the money...just about doing what they have seen work for millions of addicts....even...heroin useage....so I trust him to say you gotta keep your sub use short...yeh, ....I don't feel so hot...but not as bad as if I was kickin vikes cold turkey...power to the ones who have done that...I was to weak.......in answer to outside support...I absolutely think that is your key to staying clean...one day at a time...the fellowship and the welcome you feel going to meetings....working the steps...asking God as you know Him for help in your recovery..we are addidts....we need some sort of help to keep our mental games in check.......NY Mommy ....what holds you back from telling your husband.....I was shamed...but one day someone squarely lookrd me in the eye and said YOU have to tell him....And I can only say that was the best demand of advise I have ever recieved..he did not threaten, or yell, he was just glad I was getting help....now he is on board with my support...he knows why I have the blues...and its ok....get him on your side....what type of man is he....does he love you...if he does...he will be there for you..promice....

[LISA GIRL]

Sparky... Thanks for the insight... I am really hesitant to trade one addiction for another but am going on the sub.. What excactly do you mean "can't get comfortable?" Is that like restless legs? I have ambien for the sleep but I'm wondering what other smyptoms I might have to look forward to..[xx(][xx(]

[Angela H]

Angie~
Hey and welcome. I understand the pill cycle...sucks, huh?
I was taking 10 Lortab 10's a day at my highest...I was broke, disgusted with myself and wanting so badly to quit, but not knowing how to do it. I tried several times to "just stop". I also tried the tapering route and that's what sent me to treatment. I tapered from 10-1 in 4 days and the withdrawals...I could not deal. I'm a wuss anyway, had never been in withdrawal, and literally thought I was dying. On the fourth day I went to work for about an hour and told my boss I thought I had the flu. There was no way I could've worked that day. I was shivering, nose was running and had NO energy. I was craving so bad...but I didn't have anymore pills and had no money to buy any if I wanted to. I came home and called my doctor who is also a friend. They got me in that day and he put me on Subutex. You can read a lot about it on the web...just type in the word under any search engine and you can read all you want about it. In a nutshell...it takes away all the withdrawal symptoms and makes you feel normal...which for most addicts...is something we haven't felt in a long time. It also takes away any cravings and lets you detox while not suffering withdrawals. It's been a miracle for some here, including me, because there is no way I could've gone through another day feeling that way. I was afraid of what I might do to make myself feel better and I didn't even wanna have those thoughts.
So, in answer to your quesion...yes, it would help you guys break the cycle that so many opiate addicts cannot do...simply because opiate withdrawals are so incredibly uncomfortable.
Good luck you guys,
Angela

[CaringParent1]

Kaidog and others,
Thanks for insight into our son's Norco use. Are inpatient detox programs affective in these cases? He seems to be able to go for a week or two without use, but gets pulled back in. He has recently dropped out of a 12 step program concluding that it would not help him, and based on what I have read here, I believe him. Thanks for any insight on treatment alternatives.

[Kaidog]

quote:Originally posted by CaringParent1

Kaidog and others,
Thanks for insight into our son's Norco use. Are inpatient detox programs affective in these cases? He seems to be able to go for a week or two without use, but gets pulled back in. He has recently dropped out of a 12 step program concluding that it would not help him, and based on what I have read here, I believe him. Thanks for any insight on treatment alternatives.

caringparent:

I believe you have missed a crucial point from my previous post. From my previous experience, an experience that spans many, many years of using and abusing Norco's, I don't believe it is possible for anyone to take 5 Norco's at a time without having built-up a substantial tolerance to them. The only way to build up that tolerance is to have taken them for a long time, on a daily basis. Because of that, I don't believe that your son is going for days or weeks without taking any. Perhaps I'm wrong but all my experience points in another direction. That direction is that I don't believe that your son is being honest with you about the magnitude of his use. Remember, addicts are MASTERS of deception.

Now, please understand, [u]I may be wrong</u> about my suspicions. There is just something here that doesn't smell right.

[mpvt]

Hey Jay,I hope your not thinking of jumping off the suboxone at 4mgs.You will go through wicked withdrawls at that amount.As you probably know the lower the better and remember that buprenorphene(suboxone,subutex) is 200 times stronger than morphine so it's a very strong drug and needs to be treated as such.Good luck with your detox.....Dave

[tinkers]

DA BEARS

Suboxone works give it a chance!

[CaringParent1]

Kaidog,
I questioned the dose and he further explained that he takes them over the course of a day...ie 1 an hour. How about the in-patient rehab..or other means of stopping the cycle? It sounds like willpower does not stand a chance here.

[Kaidog]

quote:Originally posted by CaringParent1

Kaidog,
I questioned the dose and he further explained that he takes them over the course of a day...ie 1 an hour. How about the in-patient rehab..or other means of stopping the cycle? It sounds like willpower does not stand a chance here.

caring parent:

Just a question................. Did you really misunderstand him before when you thought he said he was taking 6 at a time [u]or</u> is he changing his story now that he's being pressed about it? Really think back to your previous conversations with him about this. What did he say before?

I can't say it enough............... addicts are the best liars in the world. I'm not saying tjat your son is lying but something just seems wrong here to me.

I mean really, could you possibly have so misunderstood him before................ to the point where you confused 6 at a time with 6 over the course of 24 hours?

I know that a parent wants to believe their kids. I know I sure do with mine but I also suspicion that something isn't setting right with you as well and perhaps that's why you are here.

Be honest with yourself.

If I'm wrong, please accept my apologies but as I've said before, when I look back over my many years of extensive use, I can't believe some of the whoppers I've told to people I love.

[JAYBIS]

Dave,
Thanks for the advise, I get fustrated. Ive tried to get off soooo many times. I always put plans together and never follow through with them. It seems like I get so close. Every time I get to 1mg I start using my subutex to get "that feeling" and build my tolorence back up. I guess its the addict in me. Who knows????

[LISA GIRL]

Jaybis.. As one who is scheduled to start sub very soon I am more recently frightened about the detoxing from the sub.. When you say you take the subutex to get "that feeling," what are you talking about? I thought that you didn't feel high from the sub, just clear, normal.

[nymommy]

lisa...i do not get a high from sub.im also on a small dose

[patmamma]

Hey everyone,
I just wanted to check back in and say it looks like three days have passed. The withdrawls are much easier this time. I do feel a bit anxious and totally moody.

I have been taking neurontin for anxiety. Has anyone tried this? It totally works for me. I dont feel anxious at all while taking it, and it makes things okay. I am wondering if anyone has done this?

Patmamma

[iwannachange4ever]

Angela~ (also my real name.. =) )

Thank you so much for writing back, you are a big help. I have been reading about it... (Subutex) We are hanging in there. I am usually a lot better at this part than he is.. This time being no different. =) My biggest concern is 3 weeks or a month from now.. I just don't want us to feel like its okay to give in once again. I have thought it was the end a few different times, and really want this time to be different. Just.... exhausting.... Are there any good books to read, or??? I don't know, I'm just grasping for new ideas. Thanks again for writing back

[tinkers]

Lisa,

One thing at a time or (one day at a time) dont worrie about the sub (detox) your not even on them yet, get yourself off the pain pills first and then once you have a handle on things slooooooowly ween from the sub it is much much easyer to decrease from the sub than the others, i had no problems going from 3 too 1 in about 1 month so dont get a head of your self and calm down stick to the plan the devil knows your plan and he is putting things in your head right now he is in contole of you and he want's to keep it like that take controle back.

Suboxone works give it a chance!