[LISA GIRL]

Good Question Kaidog! I was just today thinking of making a reward schedule for myself when I get off the pills.. 3 days clean=pedicure.. a week clean =a really nice new outfit.. 30 days clean a vacation! etc....I can do a lot with that almost $1200 a month now! or you know, bonds. Bonds are safe.

[LISA GIRL]

NYMOMMY.. Hey do me a favor and send me a private message with your e mail will ya? I wanted to ask you some things....unless of course you share e mail with the hubby..or if that doesn't work you can get my email from Angela and send it to me that way. Thanks!

Angela I sent you an e mail but this time I sent it thru the forum.. let me know if you didn't get it.

[nymommy]

~~~~~thanks kaidog..actually left the house tonight..drank my wine..and guess what/ still didnt think of pills thats amazing for me..they usually go hand and hand...maybe i'm in the honeymoon phase; as angela mentioned...no thoughts, or cravings at all..maybe it is because technically i'm still on opiates(although, very small amount)..i do not think of pills AT ALL. god i hope this last..lisa... i tried to email you hope it worked,,,,to be out tonite.socializing..and no desire to use..well thats just amazing..hope i'm not jumping the gun..as i said i'm slightly supersitious..i'm waiting for the **** to hit the fan..a question..what happens when i'm all better; what do i do w/ all you people..i've grown to like[?][?][?][?]

[nymommy]

angela~~~~~what made you want a pill?????? is the honeymoon phase over,,and how'd you deal w/ it...i had 3 wines tonite..the 1st time i indulged...how do you deal w/ it...i'm on such a low does it makes me nervous ( 2mgs a day in total) is it only will power or will my dose help...i never think about my former "friends"[:0]

[LISA GIRL]

Mommy.. I got your e mail and replied. Let me know if you get it..

Angela, I sent one thru the forum and didn't work. I will retype soon to the address you posted on here.

(back to) Mommy.. What will you do? You will continue to post and be an inspiration to many!! And we will continue to e mail and support each other.. b/c they say you are never recovered, always recovering. I keep telling my friends about my friend Angela and (hahaha I don't know your real name) Mommy and they keep asking who you are.. I say I know it's nuts but they are friends I met on a message board and we have actually become quite close in a short period of time.. It's amazing how a common thing like addiction can bring people together! I feel like I have known all you guys for a while...

Lazer.. Where r u? Are you ok?

[nymommy]

my name is katie

[Angela H]

I'm Angela...for real!

[Osagewoman]

Glad everyone is doing okay...Angela, please tell us why you wanted a LT the other day, despite being on the sub. That worries me, too! I thought I had taken my last LT Thurs. evening, but yesterday I found 1/2 a LT 10 and a neo-percodan in my purse. I felt like s**t most of the day yesterday, and finally took some flexerils and slept most of the afternoon, then took a couple more and was able to sleep from about 1230 to 4am, when I get up for work. [|)] This morning I told hubby I was out and he gave me 1.5 of his LTs, said to make sure I don't come home from work in a bad mood!!! Because I only had .5 mg's yesterday, I expected to feel a lot worse than I did, actually. Maybe it was the neo-perc that helped, I don't know. I know my hubby will be worried about it now and will probably get me enough to make it through until the scrip is fillable again...or maybe not, he's always threatening to cut me off, maybe this time he means it.[B)]

[Kaidog]

katie-mommy, angela for real and osagewoman: You're all doing great.

The road to recovery is never over I am told and there are bound to be potholes along the way. I suppose the most important thing is to never, ever take your eyes off of the objective.........even when one stumbles. One day at a time, an hour at a time if need be.

As for me, today is day #11. Chasing Angela for real's numbers. With luck, I'll never catch her as hopefully, she will always be ahead of me in the day count.

[LISA GIRL]

LAZER????? If you are lurking please check in and let us know how you are doing.. Don't you have your sub appt soon or did you already have it?

[Angela H]

Hello fellow addicts, comrads and peeps!

How is everyone? I'm good...no cravings today.
It's weird, you know? I guess the honeymoon is over, but NOT at the same time, too. I think some cravings are to be expected...I mean, we took these suckers for soooo long ~ it would be a miracle not to ever want that feeling again. But the cool thing is with the sub, even if you get a craving....so what...you won't feel your "sucker" anyway. So, that keeps you grounded and on the straight and narrow.

Kaidog~ keep running, baby, cuz you ain't gonna catch me!! LOL!!
This sista ain't backsliding! Hee HEE
But I'm more than happy to be in the race wichya!
Now, who's in awe of who? I still think you win...no crutches. You've demonstrated who the MAN is!

Lisa~ I don't know what is up with the mail on this thing. How do you know if you've got mail? I can't wait for you to start your Sub so we can REALLY have stuff in common! BTW, how old are you? Ever been married? Tell me some stuff about your life.
Oh, you said you had not seen anyone who has used Sub and gotten off of it. Look under the "starting suboxen this weekend" post. Dexiner and Budman have both taken Sub and finished with it and seem to both be doing well. They helped me when I first started the Sub.

Mommy~ How ya doing today? Isn't it cool to not think about pills? It's hard to explain it to folks that haven't been on it. Don't you think? I mean how do you explain not wanting a pill? YOU JUST DON'T! And Lisa and Lazer, y'all will understand what we mean when you begin your treatment.

Hey...I'm new to this forum thing...but is it customary for people to get to know each other? I want to talk to someone on the phone. Sometimes I think we get understood better when you say it rather than type it. Anyway, just love you guys to pieces and can't wait for us all to be clean and still chit chat!
Mommy~
How ya doing today? Seem to be doing

[Angela H]

LAZER~

Where are you? We miss you?

[LISA GIRL]

Angela... The e mail I sent you by clicking on your message icon came back. . I think it is the wrong e mail for you. I haven't resent you another one but when I do will use the other one (once I find it again!)

Since you asked, I just turned 39. I was married for 5 years between ages 25 and 30. That almost seems like a dream. I am very independant and don't think I quite ever adjusted to things like sharing a bank account etc.. it is very hard for me to give up control. (but I did to a pill!) Also I never felt that maternal calling.. did not want kids and he did. (We probably should have had that discussion BEFORE getting married..lol)

I'll limit my life info to that for now.. It is dangerous to ask me questions.. I can be very wordy if you haven't noticed!! Happy 40 days today right!!??

[Angela H]

z
Lisa~

I'm very chatty also, in case you haven't noticed. My daddy says I'm a lead paint baby...remember in the 50's and 60's they used lead-based paint, which they now know is harmful if ingested. He says I chewed the paint chips off my baby bed!!!!!!!!!!! The apple don't fall from the tree!!!!
I'm 36 (will be 37 on Nov 30, so y'all don't forget it...HEE HEE)
I was married to an okay guy, but he just didn't scratch me where I itched....know what I mean? I was 29 when we got married and divorced last summer after a 6 month separation. Hey, everybody's got to get their STARTER MARRIAGE over right?
I was 35 when we split. It wasn't horrible...I mean he makes really good money, we had a nice house, took really nice vacations, he bought me fine cars, one of which I still have. But you know...that stuff doesn't make you happy. If you love the person and have all that, then "all that" is icing on the cake. But to have sex with him, I would get really "pilled up" and close my eyes, make some sorta sexy noises now and then and hoped the end was near.

So anyway...if anyone else would like to participate in "get to know your fellow board members" please feel free!

[][] Angela For Real

[Kaidog]

Is today sharing day??????

O.K., My turn, my turn, my turn.

As for me, I am 6'-4", 230 lbs (read Adonis), 55 years old. I've been in the construction industry my whole adult life which has both kept me fit and trim, and has been the occassion for more than a few injuries. I think the last time I counted I had well in excess of 500 stitches in my life. The lingering effects however have been more and more problematic as I've gotten older. How's that happen anyway? I was 25 years old just yesterday and now both my kids are older than that! In any event, all those injuries have led to an affair with the pain meds. They have enabled me to once again compete with my body as I once did. They do demand a price however don't they?

For the past 16 years I have owned my own company which has brought me more financial reward than I had ever imagined. Been married to the same woman for 33 years (what a rock she is)........... met her when she was 16 and have been in love ever since. Sometimes the fairy tale does come true. In all humility, I am the luckiest guy in the world.

We currently live on the west coast, (California) but have begun looking for retirement property where our retirement dollars will go further than here in CA.

[Kaidog]

Angela for real:

"I'm a lead paint baby" LMAO!!!!!!!!

[LISA GIRL]

I was just imagining a year from now. (God willing) we are all clean of the pills and here we still are chatting away.. Somebody stumbles onto the site and there is no mention of pills, addiction, anything...and they are confused.[?]

If you go back say 100 pages on this thread there is a stable group of members who posted regularly and were friendly with one another. Now they all appear to be gone. You have to wonder where they went. if they are still using, still clean, whatever. You have to wonder if we will stay in touch when our imminent need for support is gone. I hope so.. You guys are great!

[nymommy]

hey ..loved all the personel bio's.. i'm happily married for 16 yrs..a mom(DUH)..I work sorta pt..love my job..have a big italian family, who like me ,loves to party!!..i live a very good life with little complaints..this is actually the biggest crisis in my life..so i've been lucky..i'm doing well still..no cravings..glad your all doing good(angela/kaidog)..lisa's next!!

[Angela H]

Lisa~

Y'all better not desert me! You guys are a little slice of heaven and came along when we all needed each other. Everything happens for a reason and they're no coincidences!
SOOOOOOOOO~~~that being said...I guess we're stuck together!
All in favor post I
All who oppose post nay

I better not see one "nay"!!!
Lol...I'll quit being retarded and go to bed!
Night Lisa
Night Mommy
night Lazer...wherever you are
Night Cranky...wherever you are
Night Osagewoman
Night Kaidog
Night Live21
and if i forgot someone, it wasn't intentional...I'm about to fall asleep on my keyaboard.
'Night Night

[LISA GIRL]

Aye! (I)

[Angela H]

Where is everybody? This is eerie!!
Y'all check in and let us know you're okay!

Lisa~ We must be the only ones around today!

[LISA GIRL]

Angela...I was thinking the same thing. VERY eerie.. like a ghost town. Maybe everyone is watching football. I am having people over for the game tonight...Patriots vs. Broncos... I live in Denver but I'll be rooting for New England

4 days til my sub appointment. Still haven't decided on my starting date though.. Angela, did you see my post about that? What do you think I should do. The company coming into town on the 6th really throws a wrench in my plan. still taking pills like mad in anticipation of the end....

[Kaidog]

LISA GIRL: Please, please don't take this the wrong way as it is just an observation from my own life. If you find application in your own, so be it. If not, take it just as an observation of mine.

In my case, it seems that there was always something which was keeping me from starting recovery. A difficult job coming up, a trip to Europe, (don't want to start before the vacation do I?), real or even perceived pain. On and on it went.

My point is that if we allow it, there will always be some reason or another why we can't start recovery.

Of course there are times which are more convenient than other times. In my case, (and again I am speaking only of me), I had to want it bad enough that NOTHING was more important, no social engagement, no job, no other problem. I had to put it 1st on my list of important things.

For you, that time may well be after the out of town company leaves. I don't know. That is something that only you can answer.

Once it's at the top of your list you will do great.

[nymommy]

kaidog..you are 100%%%%% right.... nothing to fear lisa..cuz w/ the sub you wont be craving....i promise...i've was @ work today for 11 hrs.. am i excused

[Kaidog]

LISA GIRL: One more thing.................................. New England????????????????[:0]

I thought there was a State law in Colorado which prohibited any resident of the state from rooting for any theam other than Denver???? And now you've come here and posted your intentions on a public forum???

The state police will be kicking in your front door any minute.

Actually, I love New England too.[^][^]

[LISA GIRL]

Sneaking away for a moment at half time. Kaidog ..hahaha. you are right. The fans here are pretty fanatical. I know what you are saying about putting it off and making it a priority.

The thing is NOT that I need the percocet to get thru the company. The thing is that the company will necessarily entail a lot of cocktailing and I know I am not supposed to drink while on the sub. I know your answer will be to "just not drink." But the reality is that I have been looking forward to this for a while. I hardly ever drink.. my 39 year old body just can't recover from a night of drinking like it used to... but once and a while you just have to do it up and this was the planned weekend.

SOOOO.....therein lies the dilemma. Oh game about to start again. Gotta run...

[Angela H]

Lisa~
Kaidog is right. I put my recovery off for almost a year because I deceived myself into thinking I could live a normal life taking 6 pain pills a day. Of course I was fooling myself because as the weeks went by, it took more pills to satisfy my addiciton. When I noticed I was taking 10 a day and wanted more, but couldn't get my hands on more, i Knew it was time to stop...or before I knew it, my addiction would be so bad that not only could I not afford it, but that maybe I might do something crazy to satisfy my need. Those feelings scared me ****less. Plus, I was in debt up to my eyeballs. Wanting to or not....IT WAS TIME TO STOP!
Then when i knew I was gonna quit, I thought I would try the tapering thing. Huge mistake! I called one of my sources...bought 20 pills for the last time. Thought I was gonna use them to taper and then just get off. YEAH RIGHT! LOL
4 days of that and I wated to be put out of my misery! That's when I missed work and went to my doctor and said help me. That's when I started the Sub.
Soooooooo, I guess what Kaidog and I are trying "gently" to tell you.....GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GET INTO TREATMENT! LOL!
No, seriously, Lisa, please start this sooner than later, because I promise you, I was the queen of excuses. And you know where it got me? So deeply addicted that at one point, I thought I would rather die if I couldn't have my pills.
We love you and will be here for you no matter what. I know you'll make the right decision. I have faith in you...even if you don't have it in yourself.
Love you,
Angela

[nymommy]

tried to taper too..2-4 times..once had a friend hold them (this was last year..i just told her to hold them..not like i had a problem or anything) well when she went to work..i'd go right in her house and get them..she still has no idea!..tapering really dosent work for someone w/ a problem just my opion..and i was too scared of ct. when i made my sub appt..one of my first thoughts were: how am i gonna pack for all of us when we go away...in february no less! talk about thinking ahead..then theres christmas time, shopping.. cooking.. socializing.. i thought of all of these things...well i did it before, looks like i'll do it again..~~~~~~~angela when do you begin your taper?? soon no..[:0]

[Kaidog]

Day 13.

Wow! Yesterday was weird. I've been doing really well but yesterday I had a battle with cravings big time. I've been through this so many times before that you would think I wouldn't be surprised by anything but yesterday really caught me unaware.

Thankfully however, I didn't indulge at all and I took nothing stronger that an couple of Advil.

All you ladies are doing great.

LISA GIRL: Looks like we picked the wrong team yesterday. Whodda thunk it?[V]

Angela For Real: Today's day 40 for you isn't it? Wow! I have day envy.

Katie/Mommy: Sing us a few verses from the Praises of Sub. Hymnal. Let us know how you are doing. BTW, 11 hours on Sunday???? Sounds yucky to have to work those kinds of hours on Sunday. Do you work every weekend?

[Lazer]

Hello, sorry for not being on. You are all such wonderful people. My 21 year old son brought his future wife in this weekend. I wanted to be relaxed and sharp and did something REALLY stupid. I went from 13 Darv. to 15-15 1/2 so i could function. Everytime I took my normal dose I started really sweating so I took more and that went away and then a sedated feeling set in. My Suboxone appointment is tomorrow and I only have enough Darvocet until then. I'm afraid the appointment is going to be canceled or he won't give me the medication. Then I am really in trouble. I have so much to say but I have to be quick on these posts for a complicated reason. I'll post again when things quiet down a little. I am, as always, very scared.