[nymommy]

lisa girl, thanks for the reply, i was soooo counting on my doc to help me cuz he really is a great guy ..he didnt even know what sub was so i knew i was on my own..he is an internist after all..thankfully i did my research.. talked to 2 specialists the fees include all.. i guess start to finish one doc (the one that is 1000.00) actually spoke on the phone w/ me for awhile...leading to believe he is probably a good doc..very patient and informative...his patient load is full right now ..said he would get back to me.. as far as the prescription..my insurance will cover that...like you said ..if i pay this one time fee i'd still be ahead of the game..my pills will be done by saturday..i'm even thinking cold turkey...one week off off work ( i have NEVER called in sick) then maybe i'll be normal again i pray whats up w/ you

[cranky]

haha - I'm cranky because I can't figure out how to stop WANTING 15 norcos every day, which is what my dependency is about. I've stopped 4-5 times in the last six or eight months. Went through WD the first two times (horrible), then I red about Kratom on another message board (ironically one associated with a "pharmacy" service) so I bought some. The Kratom effectively removed the physical WD symptoms (hot and cold flu-like sickness, restless legs, nausea, all that), but I'm still having a hard time overcoming the psychological craving. That's the hardesy part, I'm finding out! I need to want to quit, but can't make myself want to.

[LISA GIRL]

Cranky..I can relate! My biggest problem is that I haven't reached the level of desire that I need to quit. I'm trying to keep my dosage pretty consistant which means pretty much that I am getting no high or "fun" benefit, just keeping my body addicted and from going thru withdrawal. I quit cold turkey (NY Mommy if you can take a week off work you could do it and save the $$) It was bad but not impossible. Worst part was the sleep in week one which was cured by a 10 day supply of ambien that my regular doc did give me when i fessed up. Week 2 I was depressed, CRANKY and sad. Very sad. Cried a lot but I do remember how GREAT I felt week 3 on... WOW the energy.. That is what i want back. I have gained a lot of weight on these things cuz I don't do anything but go to work, come home and watch tv and lurk in drug addiction web sites! Like I said earlier, I called the suboxone doctor today. We'll see if there is any room in his inn. If not I may have to schedule a week off work and tough it out at home. I could try it cold turkey as before but really hate working on little to no sleep. Plus would probably have to wait a couple months to take an entire week. I have already used 3 of my 4 weeks of vacation for the year

NM Mommy.. Your pills will be done by Saturday? What are you taking again? Prescribed or getting elsewhere? If I remember right you are not taking TOO many and I really think if you put your mind to it you could do it cold turkey.. As long as you know what to expect so you don't freak out when the symptoms come. But you could use what you have left to taper too. That might make it easier.

[likwid-solutions]

Hey everyone. So my last attempt at quitting wasn't a success. I'm trying again but when I lay in bed for 4 hours without a wink of sleep, it's so hard. Tomorrow I am going to call the doctor for sure and get me an appointment to see if I can start Suboxone treatment.

[unclenasty93]

Hi all. I have read the last few days worth of posts and I have some comments/concerns. Lisa Girl, I also am in Denver and I know lots of docs who prescribe suboxone I also know of some good clinics and treatment centers. I am in a similar situation to yours. I am using Dilaudid, injecting 20 pills a day, I badly want to stop but I am scared to be without it. I have been clean before and I have a lot of experience with this disease, let me know if I can help

nymommy. Suboxone could be wonderful for you if that is what you get on. However, I am a bit concerned by a couple things you have posted. You said that inpatient detox/treatment was not an option because of your family. Let me tell you somethig. If inpatient is what you think may be the best route for you, Do It!!! If you do not put your treatment of this disease ahead of EVERYTHING else in your life, you may end up losing all of it. You cannot let anything get in the way of your getting clean by whatever method is the best. If you remain addicted you are not going to be the mother you know you can be. Your kids will suffer if you keep using so you cannot allow them to stop you from treatment. That is hard stuff to hear, but it is true. People sometimes don't get the treatment they need because of things like jobs, family, etc... but what they don't realize is that if they keep using they will probably end up losing all of it. YOU AND YOUR SOBRIETY MUST COME FIRST IN ORDER FOR YOU TO BE THERE FOR OTHERS.

Lazer, I have heard of people being put on Methadone for chronic pain. It has no acetaminophen like Darvocet, Vidodin, Percocet etc.. Darvocet is supposed to be less addictive than the stronger ones. It is a schedule 4 drug while the other narcs are 2 or 3. You are taking relatively small amounts and maybe you could wean off. Suboxone would also be a great alternative for you. All of this **** is very hard to get off. Even on small amounts some sort of treatment is usually required. I hope you start feeling better.

Peace out.

[nymommy]

lisagirl, i'm taking vicodin...getting them the shady way, will xanax help w/ the sleep cuz i do have plenty of them

[Lazer]

unclenasty93, thanks for the advice. I know Darvocet is a schedule 4 drug but you would not believe the hold it has on me. I definitely have drug seeking behavior. It is hard for me to even cut down on one. I break out in sweats when I don't take enough or don't take what I usually take. This is controlling me and I feel I am too weak to fight it.

[LISA GIRL]

Uncle Nasty. Thank you! I will see if the one doctor I called has any current openings. If not, I will definitely hit you up for a recommendation. I have one percocet left but a bunch of lortab.. not really sure what they are, but them seem a lot weaker than the percs so I am going to try to wean down using them. I feel better the last couple days using mostly just those... not so groggy etc. Maybe it's my I imagination. Course I know my percs are just a phone call away.

NYMOMMY.. I am not sure about xanax. I think I tried one or two one time and they didn't do anything but make me groggy. It might be one of those things that normally it would help you sleep but if you have become acustom to the vics then they may not. AMBIEN worked incredible for me when i quit the last time. I didn't take it til day 5... wish I would have had it sooner. My doctor would only give my 10 as they can be habit forming but it really helped.. and NO hangover! It was the only thing that got me to sleep. I don't think my primary will prescribe them for me again. Maybe the addiction doctor will give me some if I can't get on the sub.


Likwid.. Good luck today calling the doctor. Hopefully the guy I called will call back. I SOOOOOOOOO don't want to quit but I figure that if I do and feel great then I will recapture my life.. If not, I can always become a loser addict again. No harm no foul.

Have a great day all. I better get to work. I have either pills or suboxone to pay for. Guess will see what the future holds!

[tinkers]

Hi all

I havent been around for awhile but i am on sub and it does help if you need some help let me know ive pretty much done it all so i know were your coming from good luck to you who want to quite

[abey042000]

Tinkers~

Your still on the sub? How long have u been on it now?

[nymommy]

have an appt w/ a sub doc 9/18..don't know how i'm gonna make it..the appt is @ 10:00 pm..is that weird or is it me...intial visit is 450$$ then 200.00 every week, for however long he feels he needs to see me..does this seem right...he was listed on that subonex website..another doc is 1000.00 includes all, no matter how long he has no room now

[Budman]

nymommy something sounds not right. I paid $650 for my 1st visit and $85 for each revisit just 3 times and I was done. Highly reccommend you gettng off the sub within 3 weeks. Cause its still a battle but manageable. I'm 30 days off sub today and it gets better everyday. Don't miss the vics at all. Suboxone is the only way in my book.
Just set a goal ang keep to it.

[nymommy]

budman, where do you live i'm in ny. the rip off capital of the world..i just wish he had an earlier appt, as i am running out...if i submit these visits, do most insurances honor it, or @ least a % of it..he does accept credit cards so charge i will (won't be the first time!!)

[LISA GIRL]

NYMOMMY. 10 PM sounds incredibly weird to me but then again, I don't know how they do things in NY. Don't know about the cost but I would make some more calls if I were you. Hell, if you are almost out and can't get any more, you will probably be over the worst part of the physical w/d by the time you get in there. In that case I guess you could cancel. Can't they get you in any earlier knowing that you are almost out? I made an appt today too. Mine is on the 22nd. I could have made it sooner but needed some time to get used to the idea.

[Lazer]

Took a nap, got up feeling great at about 7:30 and I only had 7 Dar. today instead of 12. I had this incredible earge to take more Darvocet even though I didn't physically need it. It was very strong. I wound up taking 4 more. This is bad I know. Is this normal, I felt uncomfortable not putting something in my mouth for a half hour?
NYMOMMY Ten P.M. is kind of late but this may be another area the Doctor works in so he may be seeing his sub. patients after he is finished with his regular schedule. My appointment is for 5:30 and I think that is when my Doctor begins his treatments. Try checking him out if you can. Find out how reputable he is.

[nymommy]

lisa girl.. from your earlier post: lortab is STRONG that's why your feeling ok..actually had them yrs. ago when none of this was an issue...gave away like 30 pills those were the days when addiction was NOT a part of my life (gee i wish i had them now) i will probably be in full wd's by 9/18..unless i beg my neighbor, who has no clue to my problem.....see this is the part i can not stand, the lying, story telling etc.. soooo not me...i truly am not a liar, this does not come easy for me...as far as my late nite appt...the nurse says mon and tues they are open from 5-12 pm (i questioned those hours immediatley) it is in a very reputable medical building; and he is listed on the sub wedsite he actually is a pain management specialist..biggest problem: where do i tell my husband i am going soo late @ nite, again i'm not a good liar and also a homebody who would never go out that late especially on a monday nite HELP[V]

[Budman]

nymommy I live in So. Calif. I got my appt. within a week I planned it for just after the 4th of July. Went out with 1 last hooraw. (not that I needed it) I was ready to stop this ****. I would advise you to talk to another Dr. Something just does'nt sound right. I took my last vic. about 3pm July 5 and saw my Dr. July 6 at 12:30 the next day( I was jonesing bad) you have to be in withdrawl before you start the sub. The sub. works within 20 mins (amazing)I started calling the office @ 7:00 am to see if I could get in but my Dr.did'nt open his office till 12:00 One thing that really helps me is I never want that feeling again (withdrawls) The main thing is to have a plan and support from family or a freind. Any ? you have I'll answer them honestly. Hope this helps.

[LISA GIRL]

NYMOMMY....Wow. I forgot your husband didn't know. I don't know WHERE you could say you were going at that time of night on a Monday. I know your doctor gave you 30 to try to taper. Where did you get them before then? How did you get on the things? I broke my wrist at the same time my dad was dying of a stroke. Found out they helped numb the emotional pain. And then there always seemed to be people with access (for a hefty price)

***anyone****What is the difference between suboxone and subutex if any?

Budman and Angela H.. Thanks for the postings on your sub success. Really getting me excited to try it. I am mostly worried about the cravings and psychological w/d. That was worst for me the last time... that and the zero sleep....Sounds like it helps you control that as well. Congratulations to you both!

[lordy]

test

[lordy]

NYMommy, In my state they make you go in around 5 AM. But if they need you at a clinic in the evening, would it be for the entire 5-12 PM period? Or could you just be there from 5-7? You could be having dinner with friends, off seeing a movie. Would that work?

Nicole

[nymommy]

budman just to let you know i love california preferably san fran been many times..i called this doc today, so it's really just 10 days (from their point of view) sometimes i feel like i deserve to suffer i mean after all i have no real pain to spk of.. just a total recreational thing i have been getting the pills from various sources paying 5$ per.. a friend that throws me a few, thinking that i'm in control just a bunch of BS that i really hate.. doc shopped only 2x horrible feeling..i should of got an oscar..least a nomination...have the neighbor who will give me a few then what?? what's that pharm that someone reccommended i am panicky now maybe i will try the pharm online thing havent done that yet have i mentioned i work in a very busy upscale restaurant in ny... i might need to go on line for them help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nymommy]

forgot to answer a question i have my sister fot support

[nymommy]

no they don't need me from 5-12 my appt is @ 10pm so a dinner and movie? too big of a lie for me don't know what to do or say...i love my husdand soo much the lies alone will kill me...maybe i will call 2 morrow and ask for a more resonable time, although i did already..maybe i need to sound more desperate...i feel another oscar nomination in my future

[LISA GIRL]

lol...and the WINNER for best actress by a painkiller addict trying to score some meds before the w/d kicks in is NY MOMMY!! NYMOMMY how many do you have left? I would really try to just ration what you have as best you can and score what you can from the neighbor. Don't take them to get high.. only to keep enough in your system to get you thru w/o the w/d until you get the sub. If you must go thru an online pharmacy be really careful! Not only are you not sure what you are getting, it is illegal (not that how we currently get them now isn't but...) and if you find that easy way to get them, it might just make it harder to quit.

Do you really think there is no way you could come clean with your hubby? It sounds like you have a good and healthy relationship. It would be so much easier to have the love and support of someone who loves you when you are going thru this. Not that I would know. My boyfriend is totally nonsupportive. HE complains about me doing them all the time but won't do anything to help. I can't wait til I am off these and finally find the strength to leave him for good!!!!!I haven't even told him about the sub. I mentioned it about a month ago and asked him to look it up and see what he thought and he couldn't be bothered. He'd rather just nice lady about me being addicted. He's a LARGE part of the reason I keep taking them!

and wow I didn't know the lortab were that strong.. are they stronger than percocet? They don't seem to be to me...Maybe that's why I have been feeling ok.... I was using them to taper down til the sub but maybe I am going the wrong direction[)]

[LISA GIRL]

****ONE DUMB QUESTION****

I guess I was thinking the sub was a prescription that you can take on your own time and schedule after w/d for a day or two... now I am thinking, does it have to be given/administered in the doctor's office? Or does he just write you a script and you can fill it at the pharmacy and you go on your merry way? The doc called me at work today so I couldn't ask any questions or talk much. Am I sure I will be even eligible or should I wait for the initial visit before I stop taking them. My appt is on a Friday morning so I was thinking I could pick it up and stop my pills right after and have two days of weekend w/d and take it on Monday morning? Is there any reason they would NOT prescribe it to me?

[cluelessNJ]

Ladies, I am actually sick to my stomach reading this......... I don't know where to start, first, did you do research on sub? Getting off of sub? Check this site out! Seriously it has people currently using and people detoxing from suboxone!

http://www.opiatedetoxrecovery.com/forum.asp?FORUM_ID=4

I personally think that now in my life honestly is best but I understand the lies. I was there too. I told more lies then one can imagine. Just do the research before you think you have found the miracle drug. Its not a miracle drug unless you plan to do a quick taper. PLEASE DO THE RESEARCH! I will chech back tomorrow!


Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[cluelessNJ]

quote:Originally posted by likwid-solutions

Hey everyone. So my last attempt at quitting wasn't a success. I'm trying again but when I lay in bed for 4 hours without a wink of sleep, it's so hard. Tomorrow I am going to call the doctor for sure and get me an appointment to see if I can start Suboxone treatment.

linkwid~ How are you?

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[unclenasty93]

Lazer, I probably shouldn't even have mentioned that darvocet is a class 4 drug and the others are 2 or 3. You are right, that doesn't mean a thing. Darvocet is a very powerful, addictive narcotic and it can own people like all the rest. I wanted to touch on one thing you said. You mentioned being "to weak to fight this". We all are. There is a reason that we must "surrender" in order to get better. We can't fight this. It has already won. This disease is soooooo much stronger than we are it is like Hulk Hogan fighting a mouse. People who think they can fight this or beat this are saddly mistaken. It is a disease and has NOTHING to do with how strong we are or how much willpower we have. Diseases need treatment to be fixed. Until we get the help we need and put this sucker into remission, we all pill seek and doctor shop and buy them from dealers and forge prscriptions etc... Do not think that you are being weak, you are not, we are powerless over this and we can't beat it alone. I do admire your honesty. It takes courage to admit we are addicted and behaving like addicts. Honesty is critical to recovery!

Lisa Girl, Sounds good, if you don't get going with this doctor let me know and I can help you with resources. Also, Lortab is hydrocodone. Percocet is oxycodone. Percocet is a little stronger, but they are very similar. Percocet is a class 2 drug and cannot be called in or given with refills. A new script is required with each refill. Lortab, Lorcet, Vicodin, Norco,etc.. are all hydrocodone and are class 3. They can be called in and can be given with up to 5 refills. Sorry if you already know all that I am just thourough I have used many hydros and many oxys. I ended up exclusively on percocet because I liked it a little more. As far as withdrawl symptoms, they are both hideous!!! That is the main reason I am having so much fear about stopping, withdrawls.

[LISA GIRL]

NS Clueless.. Thanks for the link. I will check it out after work.!

[Lazer]

Great cluelessNJ, now I am all nervous about the Suboxone tx. After reading those posts I'm frightened! I thought I had a relatively easy way out of the mess I'm in. I'm not upset with you, just the situation I'm in.