[POPPER]

hey everyone!!!!
great to see everbody's still trucking along. been going to church, worked on my truck all weekend got the engine in and running..wooohooo. very hard on the back[V]

thanks cluelessNJ for your reply..it means alot.
yup been going to the pain clinic for a few years now. already got my three shots. you can only get so many a year. did not really seem to help much.. they also gave me a patch (lidoderm)to apply to the area on my back not a whole lot of help. they don't stay on for a darn. maybe if i could get them to stay on they might help more.
i guess it's going to be hard to stop using pain pill's with my back in such major pain. all i can do is limit the number i take during a given day. the last thing i want to do is use more than the alotted amount, and run out before i can get a refill.
i did that once and it was very ugly.
lucky i have my wonderfull wife to help keep me on track. it's hard living day to day with a constant 8 or worse on the pain scale in the lower back area. being 44 years old and feeling 90 sucks.
i have never been one to sit and do nothing, guess thats why my back is in the shape it's in.
keep it coming




HELP

[abey042000]

Popper~
It's nice to hear your story, Mine is under Recognized Addiction if u wanna read it. I am struggling now with back pain also. I get a RX for percs and there supposed to last me a month and only last about a week. So many months I do this to myself and run out and don't have anyone to supply me. Well, this month I finally got tried of it and decided I was gonna try and stick this out. It is hard and I understand what your saying about the chronic back pain. I really admire you for being able to control your taking of the meds, beings you don't want to run out. I've never been able to do that, my impulses get the best of me. I guess that's why I'm an addict and or prob. not. Anyways, I also have lidoderm patches, and have the same prob with them not staying on. They do not help my pain, but I have tried getting some tape that is used for that type of thing on the skin, and they still don't work. What type of shots do u get? Good luck to you and I will say a prayer for u and your wife. Take care!

[POPPER]

quote:Originally posted by abey042000

Popper~
It's nice to hear your story, Mine is under Recognized Addiction if u wanna read it. I am struggling now with back pain also. I get a RX for percs and there supposed to last me a month and only last about a week. So many months I do this to myself and run out and don't have anyone to supply me. Well, this month I finally got tried of it and decided I was gonna try and stick this out. It is hard and I understand what your saying about the chronic back pain. I really admire you for being able to control your taking of the meds, beings you don't want to run out. I've never been able to do that, my impulses get the best of me. I guess that's why I'm an addict and or prob. not. Anyways, I also have lidoderm patches, and have the same prob with them not staying on. They do not help my pain, but I have tried getting some tape that is used for that type of thing on the skin, and they still don't work. What type of shots do u get? Good luck to you and I will say a prayer for u and your wife. Take care!

abey042000
thanks so much for your interest in my post.
please don't admire me to much, i am no saint.
those stupid patches cost 45.00 for 6 with my insurance, yup i have tried taping them too. seams like when i sit down they roll up rip what little hair i have on my back out...ouch[:0]
my wife Say's looks like a pincushion with all the shots i have gotten back there. (man we need spell check here)
cortisone shots..i guess is what there doing. last week my back where i surgery was red and pissed off, very painful to the touch.
went to the pain clinic and the doctor pushed it and said is that it[:0] i am like yea...[:0]
now he says he will do a local in that area !!!
it might be painful!!! well i am not looking forward to this, as they don't put me out or anything when they do these shots.
they want to fuse to disc in my back but first i have to lose 75 lbs.
this would be my second surgery.
i also have HMO insurance which with the referrals makes even the simplest trip to the doctor a very long process.
hey i figured out spell check on my computer
so i guess i have to just hang in there and live with a numb right leg and a major pain in my lower back.
i admire you for your post count, looks like you have had some impact here with you replies...that's cool[8D]
thank you so much for praying for me and my wife, i sure can use all the help i can get
well talk to you folks soon

HELP

[Angela H]

Hey everyone!
Abey and Popper~ Awesome! I'm so proud of both of y'all. It must suck to have pain and not be able to use your pain meds for that! I don't have any pain (knock on wood!)...just taking them recreationally, and believe me....it's hard enough to give them up for shear addiction purposes. When you add pain to the mix....well, all I can say is "BRAVO!"
I'm so glad I've found all of you guys! No one else really seems to understand. You know that for sure when they say "Just stop taking them". Yeah, like it's as simple as that! Makes me wanna scream. I mean, I know they're right, but they're not addicts!
I'm doing a little better...upped my anti-depressant med a few days ago and think it really has helped. I think my thing is more habit than anything. Just like last night, my boyfriend gave me my alotted one for the evening and I took half of it and never even thought about the other half. But this morning when I got up, it's the first thing I wanted. Sometimes I don't understand this at all...that's why I just want off of them FOR GOOD!
Hey, has anyone here tried katom for withdraw? I saw it in a post from a long time ago and did some research on it. I sounds like a good alternative and is non-narcotic.
Anyway, that's all for now...I'll post later. Y'all have a good day! Hugs, Angela

[abey042000]

Angela~
Nice to hear from you. You've hit the nail on it's head when u said that noone understand unless they've been an addict. You know actually, I think my pain was worse when I was taking the meds. Weirde huh? Well I'm not sure why, but since I've been off (until my drawback yesterday) My pain wasnt as bad. I think it's because when Ive got pills in me, I do all kinds of things I normally couldnt do without them and then my back gets flarred up and I dont noticed it till I come down. Anyways I was doing so good, until I went to the dentist yesterday. I'll be back in the same boat come tomarrow and be starting all over again. I hope u have a good day.

[cluelessNJ]

Hey everyone~ I'm so glad you are all posting and sharing your experiences. It will help. It has help me SO much. Even when i'm stressed out or whatever emotion you want to insert there because thats what addicts do. Most people are emotional users. You have to know you want to be clean. If your still serching for that "high" you will not be successful. There does come a point in time when your clean that life and things around you give you that high, actually it gives you a better high because its REAL. Its your real emotion. I wish all of you the best of luck and DON'T GIVE UP! You can do it too.

Chrish~ How are you! I will talk to you soon!

Girlie, X~ Miss you guys!



Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[luckkydog]

Maybe I am wrong but I feel that you need to go through the pain of withdrawls as a reminder of what is going to happen if you decide to turn back to pills and replacing one drug for the other is just not good.I know for me I want to live a pill-free life and not have to depend on type of medication for everyday activites.
I do understand some indviduals do have to take things to help cope with certain problems. I take a anti-depressant and I do need it.

[chrish1]

Hey NS Clueless. I loved your post. I find that the natural highs really are better than any synthetic high I ever got. I haven't used any drugs for 7 1/2 months now. I haven't even touched a drop of alcohol. Living clean and going through the trials I am currently experiencing has been extremely rewarding. I have the ability to feel an entire spectrum of emotions, and it begins to feel fantasic to feel human again. I thank God for the gift to feel human and for lifting the obsession to use opiate painkillers. I have experienced some of the greatest elation in developing a connection with God. Before I act, I pray to God that I will do the right thing. So, even if somebody else is doing hurtful things to me, I can look myself in the mirror and know that
I am doing the right things. My newly found patience and tolerance is also a gift. Every day clean, I grow a little bit more as long as I ask God, "show me how to serve." Nothing is always, so I need to keep reaching out to God to show me how to live, and God has revealed the most amazing and beautiful things to me. Sometimes I feel like crying with joy for the relationship I have developed with God. I don't intend to offend anyone by talking about God, but I also don't apologize to anyone who may be offended because I am finding the truth, and I want to share it. I have really no urge to use for a while now, and that is a miracle, a gift. I have found a new way to live, a better way. It is available to anyone who searches for it with honesty, open mindedness, and willingness.

God bless.

Chrish

Clean Date: 10/11/05

--There is light at the end of the tunnel--

*NA RECOVERY LITERATURE**

http://www.na.org/ips/eng/index.htm

***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****

http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm

[lynn123]

Angela,
I thank you for taking the time to read all of that and respond to me. I am sorry that it took me so long to get back to you but I am very busy and do not have the opportunity to use the computer very much. I am sorry to hear about your friend but I would like to tell you that my father takes oxycontin (over 200mg daily), percocet and valium on a daily basis and it has truly helped him. I think that doctors often do not prescribe these kinds of medications appropriately and my father uses common sense with his pain management. My father only takes half of what his doctor wants him to take and he told me that he NEVER takes enough painkillers to take away all of his pain. He told me that yo feel pain for a reason and that if you do not feel the pain, you will not know if there is something wrong and could cause more damage and not even realize it and that. I totally see the logic in that and I think that the problem that a lot of people think that painkillers should make them pain free. As for myself, I went to my first acupuncture appointment today and it was amazing! I would definately reccommend it to anyone looking for an alternative treatment for chronic pain.

quote:Originally posted by Angela H

Lynn,
Hi. Welcome.
I, too, am fairly new here. I don't have any chronic pain or anything like that, I was strictly taking pain pills recreationally and to numb some emotional pain. I do, however have a close friend that has had 10 back surgeries, had major complications (the surgeon left an instrument in her back) and was told after the 10th surgery, there was nothing else they could do...so they sent her to a pain management doctor. For the past 5 years I have watched this once vivacious and fun-loving girl turn into a depressed, addicted nightmare. She takes 2 80 mg. Oxycontin a day, along with liquid oxycontin for break-through pain. She also occasionally takes Methadone for pain. I personally think the methadone is to supplement her addiction, because the oxy's don't do the full trick alone anymore. This has been so hard to watch and to see what she's become scares the hell out of me. About a year ago, her insurance was changing or something and she ran out of pills one evening and couldn't get anymore until the next afternoon. She called me and said she thought she was dying. She was shaking so bad she could barely hold the phone, was pale, sweaty and almost psychotic until she could get her meds. She literally could not function or get out of bed until she got her prescription 12 hours later. And they keep giving these to her month after month and said she would probably have to be on them the rest of her life.
The reason I'm telling you this is so you can see this side of it. I'm so sorry you're having pain and sympathize greatly. If there is ANY other alternative, please check into it. If meds are your ONLY option, so be it, but I would hate to see you turn into what's happened to my friend. Good Luck! I will be thinking about you.

[liv2ride]

hi lynn!
your father is smart for thinking this way. in the past, i have looked at pain medicine as something thats suppose to bring your pain scale down to zero, which as you said, is not neccessarily a good thing. i am an amatuer competitive snowboarder, and i have often re-injured the same injury several times (i fractured my back this past season and was back on the mountain 3 weeks later, too soon!) because i was taking so much pain med. that i felt fine to go out and huck myself off these 35 ft jumps, whereas if i could actually listen to my body, i would know when to take it easy, would stay healthier, and not keep up this cycle of injury --- which unfortunately lead me to a cycle of addiction.
i did not read your earlier post, but welcome to the board and best wishes!

quote:Originally posted by lynn123


Angela,
I thank you for taking the time to read all of that and respond to me. I am sorry that it took me so long to get back to you but I am very busy and do not have the opportunity to use the computer very much. I am sorry to hear about your friend but I would like to tell you that my father takes oxycontin (over 200mg daily), percocet and valium on a daily basis and it has truly helped him. I think that doctors often do not prescribe these kinds of medications appropriately and my father uses common sense with his pain management. My father only takes half of what his doctor wants him to take and he told me that he NEVER takes enough painkillers to take away all of his pain. He told me that yo feel pain for a reason and that if you do not feel the pain, you will not know if there is something wrong and could cause more damage and not even realize it and that. I totally see the logic in that and I think that the problem that a lot of people think that painkillers should make them pain free. As for myself, I went to my first acupuncture appointment today and it was amazing! I would definately reccommend it to anyone looking for an alternative treatment for chronic pain.

"I'd rather be snowboarding."

[Veronica64]

Hello - I'm new to this board. I've enjoyed reading your stories - positive or negative it is good to hear so many different viewpoints and experiences.
I have a general question for anyone with experience with vicodin. I have been taking 2 (7.5/750) in the evening for lower back pain. It actually bothers me most when I am lying down! Anyway, I am concerned about becoming dependent, tolerant or addicted - I know everyone has different views about what those words mean. I do not take any during the day - just at night - it has been about a month now. Is this enough to become dependant - meaning that I could possibly suffer from withdrawl if I no longer take them? I feel fine in the morning - thus far. Just wondering if anyone has had experience of taking the meds only at night and had problems with it.

I know that many on the board have taken much larger doses than this - but I want to do the smart thing and not let it become a problem.

Any input would be greatly appreciated!
Veronica

[cluelessNJ]

Hey everyone! I just realized the coolest thing (well, for me). I have been clean for over 4 months! WOO HOO!

Angela~ How are you?

Veronica~ As long as you take them as recommended and don't start abusing them you should be fine. Its good to look up all the information you can so that you are well informed. Knowledge is key!

Chrish~ How are you? I miss your posts. You are such a huge inspiration to me and you have been so supportive to so many on this board. I know your still reading it! I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you!

This weekend is going to be crazy for me. I'm going to see Pearl Jam on Sunday. I have BBQ's on Sat and Mon. Should be an action packed weekend. I just can't wait. When your clean you appreciate things in your life SO much more. Especially your family and the people you care about!

I hope everyone has a SAFE and DRUG FREE weekend!


Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[liv2ride]

veronica-
i wouldn't worry, you are on a very low dose of vicoden, and you are taking them as prescribed, so you are not "abusing". the difference is when you start to crave and/or take more of the medication than you're actually suppose to be taking. that would be the beginnings of abuse. it might happen that you eventually build a tolerance, and the dose you're on isn't so effective in relieving your pain --- in that case talk to your dr. and they will adjust appropriately. vicoden is a narcotic and it physically addictive, you may become "dependent" which is different from abuse. dependency is just when your body is accustomed to having the drug in your body, and when/if you come off them, your dr may have you taper the dose to avoid physical withdrawals.
take care!

"I'd rather be snowboarding."

[Cara]

Hi,

I'm new here so I'm sorry for interrupting. I just thought I might try to join in on this conversation if possible. I'm an addict too. I was on Lortab and lots of it before September of 2005 - that's when I finally got help. Thank God!

I just read a few posts and thought I might try to keep up with you guys for a bit. I'm working really hard on my recovery, but its never easy. Although, I must say it is always worth it!! Life is so much better now, but back then I could have never even imagined life feeling this normal and this wonderful. I was so caught up in the addiction that I could not picture life without the pills.

So, I would love to hear some of your stories. Like how your addiction started, how long it lasted or continues to last, detox techniques you've tried, etc. I won't bore you with mine unless you're interested.

Did any of you happen to buy online? That's what I did after my tolerance built up. I just found out that one of the most popular suppliers, Woody's Pharmacy, was raided and closed. Wow, if I were still addicted, I would be freaking out!! Scary!

Well, I hope all is well. And, thank you for letting me jump in!

Cara

[startingoverforme]

Well this is my final attempt at this because I am really fed up with the roller coaster ride I have put myself and family through. Like everyone else I had some injury, bulding disk l-1,s-5 that got me into this mess to begin with. Well it happened while serving in Iraq and istead of properly treating it, I was continually fed pills to make the pain go away. Well a year later I was still taking them and realized the pain was no longer there. I attempted to quit the first time concurrent with NJclueless, well I made it 10 days and then bam relapse. Well I vanished from scouring this forum and went on popping the pills. Then 2 days ago I went to the pain med spec. and said I want off these and I cant do a taper gotta go cold turkey. In 14 hours it will be 3 days and I really dont feel bad, didnt feel that bad the first time, its mostly the depression that gets me because that is a feeling I never had to deal with that emotoin before considering I was a happy go lucky tackle the world kinda of guy. So here are my questoins to Chrish and NJclueless not to knock anyone else but they have seem to go this thing down.

My addiction is very minimal but I will admit it is a problem that I am ready to tackle finally.

How long before some sort of "normal sleep" comes back? That means no benzos, no Tylenol Pm, etc.

The cravings do go away fairly quick for me, what got me last time was the thought that I could just take a few to kill a rightous hangover I had, yeah right, three weeks later 10 norcos a day again.

When I made it to 10 days the sleep was still bad, no pains nothing like that just couldnt sleep right thats my biggest problem. I almost have the opposite of everyone else that prays for night so they can sleep, well I am a naturally light sleeper as it is, double that with 13 months of war time and a recovering opiate problem, will I ever feel normal in that aspect again. You guys are well into the months how do you feel now. Sorry for the ranting just thought I would post my story, hope you guys reply. Thanks

[mab123]

i am also new to the site and wonder how you stopped? i am hooked on this vicodin es and its to the point of 6 pills/day for the last 3 weeks. i think about pills all the darn time. its started about two years ago and there has only been a 3month gap and a 5week gap when i did not need any for the pain. need any help. wonder about the taper off method and how to do that[?]

quote:Originally posted by Cara

Hi,

I'm new here so I'm sorry for interrupting. I just thought I might try to join in on this conversation if possible. I'm an addict too. I was on Lortab and lots of it before September of 2005 - that's when I finally got help. Thank God!

I just read a few posts and thought I might try to keep up with you guys for a bit. I'm working really hard on my recovery, but its never easy. Although, I must say it is always worth it!! Life is so much better now, but back then I could have never even imagined life feeling this normal and this wonderful. I was so caught up in the addiction that I could not picture life without the pills.

So, I would love to hear some of your stories. Like how your addiction started, how long it lasted or continues to last, detox techniques you've tried, etc. I won't bore you with mine unless you're interested.

Did any of you happen to buy online? That's what I did after my tolerance built up. I just found out that one of the most popular suppliers, Woody's Pharmacy, was raided and closed. Wow, if I were still addicted, I would be freaking out!! Scary!

Well, I hope all is well. And, thank you for letting me jump in!

Cara

[Angela H]

Cara~
Welcome! I would love to hear your story about how it started and how you quit! I admire anyone that can get past this horrible addiction...You're a hero here!
Anyway, feel free to share anything you want. You never know...it just might help someone. Thanks for your interest here.
Angela

[chrish1]

Hey NS Clueless, I'm still trying to get a post in every couple days, but as you know a lot has changed in my life, and time is a bit limited. Congrats on 4 months! I am adjusting to the changes very well, and I believe that better changes are coming in the near future. I believe that it is not what happens to you, but rather how you handle what happens to you. I choose to take the high road, and I am getting a lot of peace and serenity from that choice. I haven't been able to address individual posts on here for a while, but when I get more time, I hope to continue to carry the message of recovery more often here. This board has been a big part of my recovery. Today, I have freedom from active addiction, and the obsession to use has been lifted. I actually wake up in the morning, and I feel completely normal again. I never would have thought feeling normal could feel so good! It took me about 6 or 7 months free from painkillers to feel that way, but I can honestly say I have arrived there. It doesn't end there though. I need to keep attending NA meetings and working the 12 steps so that I can continually reach for my spirituality. I find that when I look for my spirituality, I find it. So, as long as I keep praying, meditating, and doing all of the actions that keep me sane, all is well no matter what. Recovery takes effort though, and until we are open minded and willing to put forth that effort, recovery does not begin. Being clean and recovering can be 2 different things. You need to be clean to recover, but just being clean doesn't necessarily mean you are recovering. That is where the action comes into place. Today, I live my life based on spiritual principles such as faith, trust, and honesty. It is important to remember that twisting the truth or creating untrue implications is lying. That is the easiest way to lie to others and more importantly lie to ourselves. Today, I don't have to do that anymore. Today, I can look myself in the mirror and know that I may have done harm to others in the past, but I am making myself the best person I can be for the present and future. This is what keeps me clean.

Chrish




Clean Date: 10/11/05

--There is light at the end of the tunnel--

*NA RECOVERY LITERATURE**

http://www.na.org/ips/eng/index.htm

***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****

http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm

[Angela H]

Chrish~
Your posts are so inspiring. I can't wait until I'm where you are. Not IF...WHEN! I know I can do this and I don't want to have to hit "rock bottom" to do it.
Do you think it's possible to beat it without hitting the bottom? Did you? Talking with someone like you that has been in the throws of addiction and beat it and have almost a year clean gives me so much hope. I was always such a happy, fun-loving person and never even really drank, much less took drugs. This is so out of character for me...but I know it can happen to anyone.
Anyway, thanks for always having such inspiring things to say...you really are a strong person and I hope that very soon I will be telling you how well I'm doing.
NS Clueless~
Thank you for asking about me...it means a lot. I'm okay...I backslided last week, but I'm not gonna let that stop me from pressing on and trying again. You're awesome for quitting and also for taking the time to help others on this board. You have been a blessing to me as have so many others here.
Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend.
I LOVE Y'ALL! Angela

[startingoverforme]

Well I moved past the 4 day mark. Slept a bit lastnight but I did take a 5mg Diazapam(Valium) to do that. I swear though the physical part is so not bad for me, I have all those bad symptoms everyone talks about but they just dont bother me that much I guess. The whole everyone is different thing is so true, I think that a persons tolerance to discomfort plays a huge role in it aswell. I hope everyone is going to be o.k this weekend. I guess this is nothing to taking a shot to the chest from an AK 47 in Iraq. Good thing I was wearing a vest and all I really felt was what I would imagine getting kicked in the chest by a horse would feel like. So for me when things get rough I say to myself, come on man, you stayed alive for 13 months in Baghdad, and tikrit and you can get past this craving just like you did those mortar attacks. I think that being there made me a stronger man and although the injuries I rec. over there got me where I am today, being over there and becoming a stronger person will get me back to being me again. I hope somebody out there is listening, and staying clean themselves.

[undrtkr]

It has been a very long time since I have set foot in here. I am still clean and sober with the help of the Subutex. Anyway the question that I have is HOW do people get caught doctor shopping or duplicate scripts. I was just wondering for my own curiosity. You know a centralized database that conncected all Pharmacies together would go along way in the fight to eliminate doctor shoppinig. Whe the Pharmacy pulls up your account it would show where and when you have been getting you scripts and how many times a month taht you get them filled. IS there such a database? If ther is not and you pay cash for your Dr. visits and Scripts, they would never cath you. So how do they? I am sorry that this is off topic. Ya'll want to hear something stupid, I went to my Doctorlast week and her tried to prescribe painkillers again for me and he knows my background? I think it is time to change doctors. Anyway, thanks. UNDRTKR

[strongwoman]

Hi All-
It's been about a week since I've posted. Today I am 14 days clean! I joined an intensive outpatient program at a treatment center and have been going to a ton of meetings. That has really helped.

Angela-just keep on trying, never give up. I tried to quit so many times and just kept getting back on the horse. I can't say that being clean has been easy for me, I'm just so thankful that there are so many resources out there to help you maintain being clean and sober. If you haven't tried any 12 step meetings, this is something you may want to consider. Even though I'm a pill person, I've been going to a lot of AA meetings (an addict is an addict). I'm always glad every time I go, even though I usually don't feel like going beforehand. I've already met so many neat people.

Undrtkr-not sure on the pharm thing but just a suggestion that maybe it's not good for all of us addicts to know the intricies (sp?) of how they collect and share information? Might just be fuel to the fire.

Hope all are doing well and staying strong and clean this weekend.

Strongwoman
Clean date 5/15/06

[abey042000]

Startingover~
Congrats on the day four mark. It takes alot of strength just to reach to that part. I was on day 6, then had a rootcanal and of course the dentist offered me some vics. only 20 of them but enough to get me going again for two days. Now I'm on day two AGAIN and I think it gets harder each time u try to quit. its very hard espec. when u do have chronic pain to also deal with. Do you have pain as well? you know whats sad? it's 88 degrees outside here today and here i sit on this freakin' computer feeling worthless. Thank you for serving our country and to let you know how much it means to ME personally.

[startingoverforme]

Yes I did have an injury in iraq that left my back in bad condition, but I think that I had worse pain from being sick from the pills then my back ever caused and that was why I quit. It is hard but I dont think that I had as much of an emotional(mental) addiction as I did a physical dependence. The cravings for me have been pretty minimal, but getting over that hump of uncomfortability did suck I must say, but this morning I went to the beach(thank god for Sunny Southern Cali) and went for a 2.5 mile run. It felt great. Forgot how good doing things normal felt, the pills suck you down and make you think things are good but you really are just drowning out the bad, along with the good. Abey dont beat yourself up over the vikes atleast you relize that it was a mistake and you are already correcting it. Has anyone hear heard of EFT(emotional freedom technique) look it up it helps you forgive yourself for the things you have done. Its kinda a meditation thing I guess. Who knows help me, maybe just mental but anything is better then nothing right.

[abey042000]

Your right! Anything is better than nothing. I will also look that up! Well, today's a holiday, prob. the first one pill free in a long time, so we'll see how I do. We're going to have a cook-out today with family and friends so it's def. going to be diffrent. I hope u have a good and safe holiday today, and I hope your day is bright and happy as well. Hope to hear from you soon.

[chrish1]

Angela, thanks for your kind words. I'm glad I could provide some inspiration. You can do it. Do it before you hit rock bottom. Once you hit rock bottom quitting is easier, but recovering is harder since you have to come back farther. Anyone can do it, but it requires effort. I've had bad pain in an area I won't mention for 5 days now - I don't know if it stems from my vasectomy or if it is something more serious. I have not used any opiate painkillers even though sometimes the pain is tremendous. I feel if I use the painkillers I need, it might be used against me. I have my support system and God to get me through it, and I am getting an ultrasound on Thursday. I hope that my not using painkillers provides some inspiration. Other than that, I am trying to keep a positive attitude.

Chrish

quote:Originally posted by Angela H

Chrish~
Your posts are so inspiring. I can't wait until I'm where you are. Not IF...WHEN! I know I can do this and I don't want to have to hit "rock bottom" to do it.
Do you think it's possible to beat it without hitting the bottom? Did you? Talking with someone like you that has been in the throws of addiction and beat it and have almost a year clean gives me so much hope. I was always such a happy, fun-loving person and never even really drank, much less took drugs. This is so out of character for me...but I know it can happen to anyone.
Anyway, thanks for always having such inspiring things to say...you really are a strong person and I hope that very soon I will be telling you how well I'm doing.
NS Clueless~
Thank you for asking about me...it means a lot. I'm okay...I backslided last week, but I'm not gonna let that stop me from pressing on and trying again. You're awesome for quitting and also for taking the time to help others on this board. You have been a blessing to me as have so many others here.
Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend.
I LOVE Y'ALL! Angela

Clean Date: 10/11/05

--There is light at the end of the tunnel--

*NA RECOVERY LITERATURE**

http://www.na.org/ips/eng/index.htm

***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****

http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm

[VTX1300]

Just wanted to drop a line and give praises to the board. I've been off of here for about 3 weeks and this place is still booming with the pay it forward--addicts helping addicts. I'm proud to know all of you!!!! Keep fighting the good fight.

I've been going thru a whirlwind for the past month. Put a bid in on a house and it was accepted (So now I had to complete all those 1/2 finished home improvement projects on my house), picked up a bunch of extra time a work, got married, had a honeymoon, got back closed on the new house, got court papers that the exwife is planning on moving away and take the children with her. Just a couple of things going on.

Well, I'm not a very smart person. But, one thing that I did that was smart was I had it put in the divorce papers that if she moved from the local school district, that I would become the resident parent of the kids. So guess what folks, X out smarted the EX. LOL Sometimes it is cool to win.

The greatest thing is that throughout all this, and my lack of conversing with addicts and about the addiction, I've mintained my clean time. I'm not say I've kicked this pig, but it seems that I've learned to live life on life's terms without the desire or using drugs. So, I'm doing good. Thanks to all who have been concerned and praying for me. I've been praying for you all.

Blessings,
X

-------------------------
VTX1300 ** Clean date 1/3/2006**

WHO'S NEXT????

DON'T USE, NO MATTER WHAT

Say a prayer for the addict who will use tonight, and for the addict who will use for the last time tonight

*NA RECOVERY LITERATURE**

http://www.na.org/ips/eng/index.htm

***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****

http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm


-------------------------

[chrish1]

X - My brother from a different mother. It's great to hear from you. Look at us... I'm coming up on 8 months clean, you are coming up on 5 months, and NS Clueless with 4 months and counting! I feel so strong - like I can stay clean forever. My relationship with God has become so strong, stronger than I've ever felt. When we go through life changing events, we either buckle or get stronger. When we buckle, we are given the opportunity to learn the lessons we need to learn a different time. When we pray, make spiritually sound decisions and actions, and serve in times of trouble, we learn the lessons we need to learn. Everything happens for a reason. I have come to love myself again, and that is one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given. I'm so glad to hear that you have found a new home. When one door closes, another one always opens, and you have chosen to not stand in the hallway too long and go through that door instead. God bless you. Make sure you are making your decisions for your kids (what is best for them) and not being vindictive. The best thing to do is to try to take yourself and your ex out of the equation and imagine what the best thing for the kids is. Kids can get very confused in divorce situations, and the last thing you want to do is alienate them from the other parent, put the blame of the divorce on the other parent, talk badly about the other parent, or make decisions based on "winning" against the other parent. The best thing for the kids is always to get plenty of time with both parents. If you are like me, you would never hurt your kids, and I know you are. I think I have spanked my kids like once or twice each. Not that spanking is bad because that is up for debate, but I've found that never worked for me personally. It is easy for the parents to lie to themselves about what is best for the kids. Control isuues with the kids can cause a lot of confusion in the parent's head and in the children's head. Sorry, not to give you a lecture, but I've been doing a lot of reading. My research says that minimizing psychological damage to the kids should always be priority number one and winning over the other parent should never even enter the equation. Congrats on your continued clean time, and keep comin' back!

Chrish




Clean Date: 10/11/05

--There is light at the end of the tunnel--

*NA RECOVERY LITERATURE**

http://www.na.org/ips/eng/index.htm

***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****

http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm

[startingoverforme]

Well its 10 days for me, hope everyone is doing good out there, you know whats weird this time is everything was easier for me, I think my mind finally was ready, because w/d was hardly anything, cravings are non existent and I am already getting 5+ sleep at night with nothing to help me. Sorry if this makes some people miserable because they had a harder time, but I just was wondering if having your mind in a better place would make things less severe, kind of like you mind sabotaging your efforts or something.

[morticia]

hi all i was reading about some of the posts here and i was just wondering if anyone was afraid of ODing on the meds cuz i used to take 2 vics 7.5s (6) a day and i get terrified that i would die. so i just want to know if i was in this alone or if its just all in my head. ive been off pills for 2 months now cold turkey.

it was a long road but now im having problems with my back again so i decided to go to pain management.

what should i expect?

any relpies would be apprecaited
thank you

luv n hugs Morticia[:I]