[H3guy]

quote:Originally posted by dmmt

H3,
I thought I was the only person on earth addicted to Darvocet. Afterall, my doc said it was addicting.

Guess he's wrong.

I'm very much addicted to it. I'm fearing my final withdrawal here the day after tomorrow. But it has to happen. I just dont know what I'm going to do for the pain. Oh well though, one day at a time. Girlie girl, how long has it been for you now and how do you feel? How long was it before the horrible physical syptoms of withdrawal went away. I happy to hear you are still sticking with it. Take care all.

[cluelessNJ]

H3guy and dmmt,
H3-Your back online! Its so great to here from you and to know you are tapering down! Today is 13 days with no opiates and I feel so much better! I think the hardest part is mental. If you can control your mind (the evil part[}])and try to distract yourself you'll be much better off! Start drinking alot of water now (it will help flush your system) and take vitamins. I got B-12 and it really helps with energy! Takes a few days for it to work thru you though! Also get some immodium or pepto. I'll be thinking of you guys!

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[addictivepersonality]

I agree on the vitamins and drinking lots of fluids. I started taking them the week before as I was tapering down and drinking lots & lots of water it is only day 5 but I have not lost any energy and feel pretty good, hope it lasts....I am still drinking a TON of water daily. It has really helped me!! Sleeping was my problem and I am still working on it..but last night was my first "restful" sleep without Ambien I used an OTC pill and got some pretty good sleep.
keep busy - your mind will play games with you and they are intense the first few days but you can do it! look how many of us have in the last little while!! One day at a time

[gettinolder]

quote:Originally posted by addictivepersonality

I agree on the vitamins and drinking lots of fluids. I started taking them the week before as I was tapering down and drinking lots & lots of water it is only day 5 but I have not lost any energy and feel pretty good, hope it lasts....I am still drinking a TON of water daily. It has really helped me!! Sleeping was my problem and I am still working on it..but last night was my first "restful" sleep without Ambien I used an OTC pill and got some pretty good sleep.
keep busy - your mind will play games with you and they are intense the first few days but you can do it! look how many of us have in the last little while!! One day at a time




you know i feel very left out in a group of people that says they all look out for each other and care what happens to one another..i see the same people talk to the same people and not caring too much for the new people looking for some help or someone to talk to here on this board..this is what put me in my position to begin with sort of, noone would talk with me or want to know what i was doing or how i was..basically i was alone, like i feel here sometimes. is it that hard to open your heart to someone new that you dont know or someone who may be able to do a little better by something you all might say??? a little kindness from a stranger could brighten someones darkest day and give them the stregnth to let a little more light in each time.................sigh


summer[V][V]

thanks a bunch

Summer

[cluelessNJ]

Summer,
Welcome! I am soooooo sorry that you feel alone [V]! You are absolutly not! All you have to do is ask! I want you to know that the people here do care a great deal and we have grown as a group just in the last weeks that I have been on so it is hard to single everyone out! DO NOT FEEL ALONE OR FORGOTTEN ! I know I was a big person in the beginning of beating myself up! Don't do it! Don't feel sorry for yourself! I know you are in here (this painkiller forum) for a reason. I am here too. So is everyone else. I promise that we try not to ignor anyone and we all try to welcome new people ! Check in with us. One the weekends it does get kind of quiet but hey life goes on! Even on the weekend! I know for a fact that the people here DO CARE A GREAT DEAL and that is awesome! This group has been my meeting and kept my thoughts in the right direction! Keep coming back and posting and I promise you will not feel and are not alone! We are all going thru it or have gone thru it together!

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[cluelessNJ]

To anyone else out there reading and not posting and feeling lonely.... I want to welcome you to the group as well. Now there is a group of us that are clean and can definetly give advise and a caring objective view to almost anything you can throw at us (or write at us) that just doesn't sound as cool. LOL![] I hope everyone is having a great weekend and will enjoy the superbowl! Thinking of everyone!

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[Junkie781]

Hey Everyone, this is just a quick drive-by to let everyone know I'm doing good and reading what you're writing here today, I just don't have a lot of time to post on weekends. Today is 16 days free of opiates, and I feel pretty good

quote: I suppose it's the addict in me that is having a hard time letting go. Any advise anyone?

Try to start reducing your dosage just a little each day so that you can get to a point that when you go cold turkey you don't end up crawling out of your skin for a week. See if you can get something from your doctor to help get you through the first few days of withdrawal...I know that my Lunesta made it much easier to get throught he first few days.....and by all means, read this entire thread from the first page to the last...wow what an eye opening experience that was for me..try it, waddaya got to lose but an hour or so?

Superbowl Sunday and I could really care less who is going to win the game.

Being straight for the first time in a while, I did some studio work yesterday while the wife was out at yoga. I've been a practicing guitar player (in and out of various bands) for the last 25 years or so and it's a great way to get out some tension sometimes, so I did a little recording yesterday to pass a few hours....if you'd like to hear it, you can download the song at this address:
http://www.thegeekzone.net/12-8_jam.mp3

I'm off to watch a movie with my lovely bride. Everyone have a good Sunday night and I'll check back tomorrow after work. [8D]


B

[addictivepersonality]

When I first came to this board - what brought me back was the replies I got and the understanding from all. I was scared and ashamed, tired of living a lie and ready to do something about it.
It was too hard to do alone and keeping my addiction a secret to family and others is how I have lived but here I can open up and get the BEST advice and support. This is also my meeting place and I do think about all during the day and how everyone is doing. We all fall down alot but to get back up is the challenge and here you will find alot of arms to help you back up. So keep coming back - "We got your back"
Last night I slept great - day 6 for me and still feeling good! but also still chugging in the fluids and vitamins. Took a walk yesterday and it felt good being outside - when I was taking my pills I never really wanted to do anything much but wait for my next fix - well I am starting to turn that around and actually call my friends to see what is going on with them......everyday it gets a little easier if I take it one day at a time Enjoy the game today or whatever you may be doing! Be strong!!!

[cluelessNJ]

Summer,
Are you still taking tha suboxone?

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[girlie girl]

H3, my clean date is at the end of my post. After a week I felt alot better. But Im still craving bad. Just keep posting and it will help you get through all of this. Happy Super Bowl everyone!! [:X]

Girlie Girl

**Clean Date** 1/24/06

[chrish1]

Girlie, hang in there. The cravings stick around for a while. I've said before... I was a walking craving for a month or 2. It helped me to talk about it to somebody when I was having the cravings. I can't put my finger on when the cravings got better, but now they come and go like any other craving. The weird thing is I started having cravings for Cigarettes, and I quit that in 1998. Before that I didn't crave cigarettes since I quit. The important thing is that we replace our drug use and the activities associated with more productive things/activities.

Summer, welcome to this forum. Please let us know more about your situation, and thanks for listening to us. All addicts are welcome here. Sometimes we may fail to acknowledge a new post in a flurry of posts, but it is not intentional. Keep comin' back!

NotSoClueless, Addictive, B, Torx - Great job not using. We only have to stay clean today. X, where are you? I'm a little concerned. We'd like to have you back. You are always welcome.

H3Guy, Dmmt, strongwoman.... keep comin' back with a desire to quit!

Okay, half time is almost over - gotta get back.

Chrish







Clean Date: 10/11/05

--ONE DAY AT A TIME--

*NA RECOVERY LITERATURE**

http://www.na.org/ips/eng/index.htm

***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****

http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm

[strongwoman]

Hi All,
Thanks for the advice on the vitamins and water. I'm going to start doing both while bringing down my dosage before starting my dr's recommended plan. I'm also thinking of starting up counseling again. Is anyone else doing counseling w/ a chemical dependency therapist? My particular therapist helped me get off of these once earlier in the year until I met someone who sold pills... and well you all know how it goes. You take just one after not using for a month and it's all over. I still can't believe that after having to detox and suffer once before I am having to do it again. I can say that my use of the drugs definitely increased second time around.

Hi Summer-welcome! I am a new member as well and in the beginning stages of getting clean.

Torx-thanks for your offer to share your experience with Suboxone. My plan is to detox and then try my doctors plan. If that doesn't work-suboxone is my plan "b".

To everyone else-congrats on staying clean. You are all an inspiration to me. I don't think that I can even put into words how much this forum has already helped me emotionally deal with this addiction. It's nice to know that others can relate to what you are going through.

Need to get my son tucked into bed and get ready for another week! I'm hoping for a lot of changes...for the better.

Strongwoman

[gettinolder]

that is exactly what i was talking about...noon replied to any of my postings and didnt seem to care about me or what was happening to me. they were talking among THIER click of people. and to me that didnt seem like people wanting to listen to everyones problems at all. And i was just bring it to your attention as my feeling were very much hurt as you guys here are the people i go to and read this board to try to help myself with my issues, only its harder when it seems like noone cares as i get no responses from anyone just mostly skipped over almost like my issue wasnt big enough or Drastic enough to render a response. .........sigh

quote:Originally posted by addictivepersonality

When I first came to this board - what brought me back was the replies I got and the understanding from all. I was scared and ashamed, tired of living a lie and ready to do something about it.
It was too hard to do alone and keeping my addiction a secret to family and others is how I have lived but here I can open up and get the BEST advice and support. This is also my meeting place and I do think about all during the day and how everyone is doing. We all fall down alot but to get back up is the challenge and here you will find alot of arms to help you back up. So keep coming back - "We got your back"
Last night I slept great - day 6 for me and still feeling good! but also still chugging in the fluids and vitamins. Took a walk yesterday and it felt good being outside - when I was taking my pills I never really wanted to do anything much but wait for my next fix - well I am starting to turn that around and actually call my friends to see what is going on with them......everyday it gets a little easier if I take it one day at a time Enjoy the game today or whatever you may be doing! Be strong!!!

thanks a bunch

Summer

[gettinolder]

see the thing is im not a new poster!!! i have been posting here and there and then stopped because i wasnt getting anyone noticing i was here and having issues!! its alot easier when your an addict to have people talking with you and giving you advice . It takes your mind off your addiction when your talking with people who are helping you...the point being tjat you all were helping everybody else...............hmmmm just like my husband and my shrink /counselor...makes me wonder if that s what the people at these N/A meetings are going to be like.......sigh

quote:Originally posted by chrish1

Girlie, hang in there. The cravings stick around for a while. I've said before... I was a walking craving for a month or 2. It helped me to talk about it to somebody when I was having the cravings. I can't put my finger on when the cravings got better, but now they come and go like any other craving. The weird thing is I started having cravings for Cigarettes, and I quit that in 1998. Before that I didn't crave cigarettes since I quit. The important thing is that we replace our drug use and the activities associated with more productive things/activities.

Summer, welcome to this forum. Please let us know more about your situation, and thanks for listening to us. All addicts are welcome here. Sometimes we may fail to acknowledge a new post in a flurry of posts, but it is not intentional. Keep comin' back!

NotSoClueless, Addictive, B, Torx - Great job not using. We only have to stay clean today. X, where are you? I'm a little concerned. We'd like to have you back. You are always welcome.

H3Guy, Dmmt, strongwoman.... keep comin' back with a desire to quit!

Okay, half time is almost over - gotta get back.

Chrish







Clean Date: 10/11/05

--ONE DAY AT A TIME--

*NA RECOVERY LITERATURE**

http://www.na.org/ips/eng/index.htm

***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****

http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm

thanks a bunch

Summer

[cluelessNJ]

Summer,
I just started posting here a week or two ago and I can tell you that posting once or twice isn't like posting regularly! Some people just post once and are never to be heard from again and if you read from page 1 to now 76? there are alot of people that just say one thing and are done! Some of us just check in regularly and some of us need it more frequently! We need to know your issue before we can say more about it! I know you said you posted before but you need to realize that ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! and I don't mean that in a bad way! Everyone here is going thru the same thing or has recently gone thru it. If you have a question or need advise or a pick me up LET US KNOW! I know right now you feel alone but thats how we all got here in the first place! Part of getting clean for me was realizing that I can't blame my addiction on anyone but myself and you need to accept that! OWN IT! Saying that we don't pay attention to you and thats how your addiction started is kind of offensive to me because I come here for support but in return I am willing to GIVE support! Its a give and take relationship! You need to face it for what it is! I feel like right now you are feeling sorry for yourself and you need to stop beating yourself up over everything! Keep posting! Let us know whats going on and I promise we will do our best to help! Please don't take this post the wrong way! [:I]

Girlie girl- 2 weeks for us! I'm excited!

Hope everyone has a HAPPY monday!


Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[addictivepersonality]

I hope we can take what we need out of each post we see. I don't have to have each post directly posted to me to learn from it, in fact I was a lurker here for awhile before I made any posts and I was learning with each post and thread I read everyday. I still read some other support sites as well but don't post I just go to read and learn. - I kinda like that taking what "I need" from all the posts.

Hope everyone enjoyed the "Sunday Super Bowl" or whatever you did
Stay Strong tomorrow Tomorrow will be one week for me - yea!!!

[gettinolder]

hold on hold on i NEVER said anywhere that i was blaming my addiction on any of you because you dont listen ..i would love to know where i said that one...never blamed my addiction on anyone but myself!! all i said was that you cant pick and choose the people you want to help out and respond to and let the others feel like i do..which might be why those people leave and dont come back or why they dont even post anymore. your making this into such a dramatic issue that its not ..all i was saying is that i know i would feel alot better if when i posted looking for help someone responded, anyone not just you and i wondered why your the one responding for everyone if youve only been here a short time why are you the take charge person here all of a sudden??? curious isnt anyone else curious also????

what i had said is i spent most of my life with my husband not listening to me about anything..**** took him 5 years to figure out i had a problem as he never paid attention. noones fault esp not yours .....my mom was a addict for over 30 years and she passed on from brain cancer also with a heroin addiction noone could even believe she had...that to her was her friend when she needed someone to listen because my dad wouldnt,,,didnt have the time but her heroin friends did, the time they had was the time to take her with them to get the stuff so she could pay for hers and thiers.

i didnt even know my mom was an addicit as i hadnt seen her in over 18 years. i would NEVER NEVER blame my issues or problems on anyone i didnt know as its not anyones elses fault but mine and im full aware of that. thats wy it took me by surprise that you would say that and i dont even know where that came from as i reread my posts and i dont see it.like i said i wasnt aware that there was someone appointed to as "in charge" here esp someone so new to the board as yourself.

quote:Originally posted by cluelessNJ

Summer,
I just started posting here a week or two ago and I can tell you that posting once or twice isn't like posting regularly! Some people just post once and are never to be heard from again and if you read from page 1 to now 76? there are alot of people that just say one thing and are done! Some of us just check in regularly and some of us need it more frequently! We need to know your issue before we can say more about it! I know you said you posted before but you need to realize that ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! and I don't mean that in a bad way! Everyone here is going thru the same thing or has recently gone thru it. If you have a question or need advise or a pick me up LET US KNOW! I know right now you feel alone but thats how we all got here in the first place! Part of getting clean for me was realizing that I can't blame my addiction on anyone but myself and you need to accept that! OWN IT! Saying that we don't pay attention to you and thats how your addiction started is kind of offensive to me because I come here for support but in return I am willing to GIVE support! Its a give and take relationship! You need to face it for what it is! I feel like right now you are feeling sorry for yourself and you need to stop beating yourself up over everything! Keep posting! Let us know whats going on and I promise we will do our best to help! Please don't take this post the wrong way! [:I]

Girlie girl- 2 weeks for us! I'm excited!

Hope everyone has a HAPPY monday!


Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[gettinolder]

thats pretty much what i had been doing but it is kind of nice when someone respons to you personally once in while ..it makes you feel wanted and like you have a family or friends...make sense???

im just wondering why this clueless person said i accused or blamed you guys for my addiction????? doesnt make sense nor would i ever even think that. telling me that "its not all about you" makes me wonder that who is all about if not "us" never stated it was all about me, i said i felt left out i thought that was the whole part of having this board. correct me if im wrong but i dont feel very wrong.....

quote:Originally posted by addictivepersonality

I hope we can take what we need out of each post we see. I don't have to have each post directly posted to me to learn from it, in fact I was a lurker here for awhile before I made any posts and I was learning with each post and thread I read everyday. I still read some other support sites as well but don't post I just go to read and learn. - I kinda like that taking what "I need" from all the posts.

Hope everyone enjoyed the "Sunday Super Bowl" or whatever you did
Stay Strong tomorrow Tomorrow will be one week for me - yea!!!

[Junkie781]

quote:Is anyone else doing counseling w/ a chemical dependency therapist?

I have my first appointment with my new substance abuse therapist on February 9th (this Thursday). I need to get to the root causes of my stupid destructive behavior and I have always found counseling to be helpful. I never should have stopped going before, but the insurance I have from work only covers so many sessions and at $90 an hour it can start to add up pretty quickly.

Anyway, just thought I'd check in an say hi to everyone this morning....

Gotta get back to work now.

Stay strong people

[cluelessNJ]

The quote below is what I was responding too. I was not speaking for everyone I just wanted you to know that we as a group try to help one another! Its hard without having a lot of time to respond to each individual! I was trying to be nice when i replied to you the first time and then on the next page you said noone replied to you! When you read the post go back to yur last post not the page you click on! Sorry if you took that the wrong way!

Not so clueless!

Feels great to know that the person on this end of the computer is now clean. I passed a drug test this morning!!!!!!




Quote:
you know i feel very left out in a group of people that says they all look out for each other and care what happens to one another..i see the same people talk to the same people and not caring too much for the new people looking for some help or someone to talk to here on this board..this is what put me in my position to begin with, noone would talk with me or want to know what i was doing or how i was..basically i was alone, like i feel here sometimes. is it that hard to open your heart to someone new that you dont know or someone who may be able to do a little better by something you all might say??? a little kindness from a stranger could brighten someones darkest day and give them the stregnth to let a little more light in each time.................sigh


summer[V][V]




Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[lordy]

Good morning everyone!
June, Barry, Chrish, everyone, hello! Barry, thanks for the music. I listened to it yesterday. I thought it was sort of Ry Cooder meets Dick Dale meets....well, I don't know who. Just know that someone in Utah ahs now heard, and enjoyed, your music.
June, congrats on TWO WEEKENDS w/o pills. That is awesome!!
I'm also on my 14th day w/o opiates. I actually joined a gym today, after a very long period of not staying fit...I'm skinny but slack...anyway, it felt really good to work out. In every way, I seem to be just waking up again. I do miss the whoopee feeling of opiates, but maybe something like endorphins from exercise will, in the end, replace that high. I sure hope so. In the meantime, it's extremely nice to feel clear-headed, and all of that shame and guilt and self-hate is gone. I feel HONEST again. It's pretty cool!!
So everyone, hang in there. If you're just thinking about quitting pills, read my post and know that after two short weeks (which included a week of physical nastiness/withdrawal), I'm basically back to normal. And that feels really, really, really, really nice.
Take care everybody! Talk soon!

Nicole

[Junkie781]

quote:June, Barry, Chrish, everyone, hello! Barry, thanks for the music. I listened to it yesterday. I thought it was sort of Ry Cooder meets Dick Dale meets....well, I don't know who. Just know that someone in Utah ahs now heard, and enjoyed, your music.

Hey, that's cool! Now, here comes a shameless plug: if you know anyone who's into progressive rock or metal type music, I'm in a band called Split Personality and we have an album available. You can visit our website here: http://www.digitalchemistrymusic.com/SplitPersonality

You know, looking back, I think that entire album was made under the influence of pills....it's a shame too, because the album came out pretty good (in my humble opinion, of course) but it probably could have been so much better if I was straight, like I am now. I know I play a better guitar that way, but the pills told me I was Eddie Van Halen when I was high.... Anyway, Nicole, I'm glad you listened to my demo song....but more importantly, I am SO happy for your success at staying clean.

You wrote:

quote:If you're just thinking about quitting pills, read my post and know that after two short weeks (which included a week of physical nastiness/withdrawal), I'm basically back to normal. And that feels really, really, really, really nice.

Same here. I'm just a few days ahead of you at 17 days myself now, but I'm almost looking back at it and scratching my head wondering what the heck I was thinking? Kicking was tough, no doubt about it, but it *can* be done if you want it bad enough, like we did.

That, in my opinion, is the key to this thing: You really have to be at a point where you definitely have a desire to stop. It took me a while to get there, but I got there 17 days ago, thankfully.

Since quitting, I can already see a great improvement in my work. I may have mentioned that I'm a network engineer...I do pretty complex stuff....it requires concentration, clear thought, focus.....I can't understand how I even kept my job while slamming so much junk, but my company is a bit of a "country club" at the level that I'm currently at, so I was (luckily) able to kind of "mark time" for a couple of years......and just get by...

I'm trying to focus on positives now. Yeah, I really screwed up by even taking that first pill, especially when you consider my history of addiction to heroin [xx(] But, for the first time in my almost 42 years, I actually stopped doing drugs BEFORE I went to Jail! Yipeeeeeee!!! I'm serious. Every time I have ever done hard-core drugs (opiates of any kind or cocaine) I have ended up in jail, eventually. I used to make jokes about heroin, saying I was allergic to it....People would say, "Alergic to heroin? Really?" And I'd reply, "Yeah, every time I do it I break out in cuffs" LOL (ok, I guess you had to be there...)

The point is, for the FIRST TIME in my life, I stopped the madness BEFORE my life got out of control....this is great progress for me.

The program people here will appreciate this:

There is NOTHING worse than a head full of NA and a bloodstream full of narcotics! KNOWING the whole time you're using that YOU DON'T HAVE TO is ugly.....

You know, what did I get out of it? What did I GAIN from using pills? I gained.....what? Seriously, why did I do that? To escape stress? To "deal with" life? I have PROVEN beyond a shadow of a doubt, over the last 17 days, that pills DID NOTHING for me. Pills did not make my job easier to deal with, they did not make me better at what I do, they did not make my life better in any way. Pills made my life a mess. Pills BECAME my life.....

That's it. I'm done. Like I've posted in this thread already, there ain't enough pills for me. You can't give me a pile of pills big enough to satisfy the beast. More program stuff here: ONE pill TRULY IS too many and a thousand would NEVER be enough.

Nice to see some people still hanging in there...[not so] clueless, addictivepersonality, Nicole, Chrish.......gettinolder, nice to see you still hanging out....strongwoman, hope you're doing OK. H3 - where you at? How's Cali?

OK, people, that's enough rambling from me tonight. The wife will be back from Yoga pretty soon and we're gonna watch some TV together.

Everyone have a great night tonight and stay strong.

B

[addictivepersonality]

Hope everyone had a good day? I to went to the gym today - WOW it has been awhile since I have been to the gym. But feel much better and with a clean week behind me glad to see the days racking up. It gets easier with each day I promise.
Will check in tomorrow - Stay Strong!

[cluelessNJ]

Ok, I know this sounds crazy but after I passed the drug test I felt like I should reward myself and guess what comes to mind first? YES! [}][}][}][}][}][}][}] How crazy is that! I know that I used to reward myself (I concidered it a treat) if I did something good! WHAT? Usually like a load of wash or my fantasy football team winning, would deserve me an extra treat! Anyone else have these crazy games they played with their addiction? I started thinking I was nuts! I really almost had myself convienced that I could go and buy just one oxy 80 and it would just be my treat! Yea right! I've said that before![}]
I know I cannot have opiates! No opiates for me at all! I know this and still had made a call set it up and then my boyfriend came home (sign from god or what). Wanted to know if he could go to the mall with me! It was like he knew! He never wants to go to the mall! I realized that when I was lying (wasted)all the time I used that excuse alot! What if he didn't come home? I wouldn't be sitting here clean right now!! This man has put up with so much **** from me I can't even blame him for not trusting me! After throwing a temper tantrum (like a 3 year old) I realized that he just knows me! He can tell when I am lying and I just never knew it! I felt bad but he was totally understanding. I wanted him to be pissed at me but he just held me and told me everything would be fine and I wasn't going to touch anything on his watch! I got a great one!
I actually wasn't going to write it because I felt sooooooo stupid that it even came to mind as a TREAT! But hey if this helps anyone or you take anything from it then it was worth it! Its just funny how it snuck up on me when I was in a great mood! After passing I felt so good!

Barry, Love the jam. Will definatly check out the site. Someone in NJ also enjoyed it! It reminded me of a Dead jam or Phish but everytime I saw either of them I was wasted so maybe I shouldn't say that!

Addictive, I don't know how you maintained all this energy your first week but I am very happy for you! It only gets better! I think going to the gym or just excerising in general should make everyone feel better! I still am forcing myself just to walk the dog! I want to get to the point where I enjoy it again! I know I will get there too[]! Everyday is easier and easier!

Girlie girl, I was thinking about you b/c I knew you had mentioned that a friend had some!!![}] It sucks knowing they are attainable! But we have made it this far and I am not willing to go thru my first week again![^]

Lordy, funny you mention in your post about excerise and endorphins I was feeling that same way about sex! Not that I want to become a sex addict but just the endorphins that you feel it is kind of like a great high or would that just be a great orgasm? Who knows but I want sex again so thats a GREAT thing!!!!![:I]

H3- back from Cali? Hows it going?

Strong woman, Hold on! You can do it! You already did it once! You are my inspiration to stay clean just because I know what you mean when you say after detoxing once you can't believe you took another pill! And all it took was one? The second time much worse than your first! I don't want to experience w/d ever again!

Summer, I'm glad you want to live a clean life! It feels great to take control back of your life and I hope this group can help you (not speaking for the group, I mean using group as in this forum). Keep coming back and letting us know how you are!


Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[strongwoman]

Hi Everyone,
Long day at work and working with a foggy mind certainly doesn't help. Junkie, I can relate to wondering how I've kept my job thus far. I can certainly say that all pills have done is hinder any progress from happening at work and taken me backward. It is truly ironic how the same thing that can make you feel like you can conquer the world takes it away from you. I'm on track right now to start my detox program this weekend. I'm VERY nervous about it but all of you guys are my inspiration to stop. Even though I've done this before, it's definitely not any easier a 2nd time around. In fact, it's almost worse in some ways. In fact, right now even thinking about giving them up is starting to make me sweat. I think I just need to focus on one day at a time, I need to focus on my precious little boy, and I need to get down on my knees to start some praying!
Glad to hear that all that are clean are staying clean-lordy, clueless, junkie, girlie girl, addictive, torx....and anyone I've missed.
Summer, welcome to the forum and our journey! Please let us know how you are doing.

Well, at the end of another long day. Hope everyone is doing well out there....

Strongwoman

[lost_two]

i am recently divorced with a child and have been dealing with my psychological pain by taking vicodin.... it hasn't been insane maybe 20 pills/week.... i've decided to quit cold turkey before it gets out of control.... i'm on day 2 and while i've had no physical withdrawals, the depression is consuming and my energy level is awful.... i'm wondering if i'm dealing with this the right way and how long it will take for me to feel better.... i can't say i feel suicidal, but i'm in a very dark place. please give me advice, thanks!

[tiger]

i'm sorry to hear that. i felt the same way although i did get a
couple responses. hang in there. everyone has issues and needs help.
i don't think i'm qualified to help give you advice, but i read your
stuff.

quote:Originally posted by gettinolder

that is exactly what i was talking about...noon replied to any of my postings and didnt seem to care about me or what was happening to me. they were talking among THIER click of people. and to me that didnt seem like people wanting to listen to everyones problems at all. And i was just bring it to your attention as my feeling were very much hurt as you guys here are the people i go to and read this board to try to help myself with my issues, only its harder when it seems like noone cares as i get no responses from anyone just mostly skipped over almost like my issue wasnt big enough or Drastic enough to render a response. .........sigh

thanks a bunch

Summer

[cluelessNJ]

Lost two,
Welcome!You are in the right place! Its great that you are not having the physical w/d but I know the mental part can be a bit#h! I am on 2 weeks clean but was using and abusing for a long time! I would say (I feel like I say this alot) but drink TONS of water and take a multivitamin (look for one w/ a few B's in it like B12) the B12 will help with the energy! Don't expect it to work overnight! Keep in mind that you control your addiction and won't allow it to control you! I am glad you saw the problem before you let it get out of control! Everyday will get easier! I can say that my first week was horrible and I was very moody and hated everyone around me! I even hated small tasks like dishes and wash! It does get easier and it is very freeing to know that you are back in control of your life and no longer need a pill! Try to stay positive and keep a level head. I only say this because you mind can be evil [}][}] and will try to convience you that you need the pills, which you now no on 2 days without them you don't! Think about the things that you enjoyed before pills (walks, reading a good book, travel). Over the next few days don't take on more then you can handle. I always say its great to find ways to distrat yourself. Watching movies, anything that will take your mind off everything! Keep posting! If you have any specific questions there are plenty of us going thru it or recently have! I wish you the best of luck! What doesn't kill you will make you stronger! I will be thinking and praying for you today! I'll send you some good vibes!

Not so clueless,

CLEAN DATE 1/23/06

[lordy]

Hello everybody.
Not-so-Clueless, your advice is always good. I've been taking viatamins, too, and am amazed that they seem to help.
Strongwoman, I know what you mean about the pills: thinking they make us feel good, and realizing that the damned things are *actually keeping us from feeling happy*. After only two weeks w/o pills/opium, I find that I'm getting interested in the world, again. I'm not as DEPRESSED as I was ON pills (what goes up, must come down) and I'm suddenly interested in little pleasures...food. books, walks, my kids. It is very nice to be thinking clearly again. AA meetings have helped me-- just hearing other people's stories-- as have reading addiction/recovery memoirs.
Lost two, what's your situation? Are there friends you can talk to? What's made you decide to quit? This board has been tremendously helpful, for me. Oh yeah, do you take antidepressants? Questions, questions. Ask me anything and check in again, hokay?

Nicole

[addictivepersonality]

Hi Everyone,
I can agree with all on the fluids and vitamins, I have not lost any energy and was really expecting to as for the fluids it just seems like it flushes your system. You will start to "want" to do things that before you either withdrew or just didn't feel motivated to do. I notice now that I want to be more social and talk before the pills would put me in my own little world and that was all I cared about things feel like they are going back to normal - one day at a time.

For me the first 3 days were the worst - cravings and mind games physically I could handle it - hang in there it gets better