[girlie girl]

Junkie, I too think about my friends. I've lost two good friends to drug OD's. It sucks but I think in a way it has saved my life. You don't have to thank me for advice. I'm in the same boat as you guys. I just know for a fact coke can kill if you get hooked on it. Love [:X]

Girlie Girl

[Hickchik]

Thank you all so much for your advice...and no worries...i won't do coke again. and i am VERY proud to say that i haven't had a single OC since tuesday night at 8pm. Its been rough..VERY rough. But im damned and determined! Hell its insane..i love having money in my pocket! I used to come home from work (bartending) and would go straight to the drug dealers house and blow EVERYTHING i made! Im going to do this...i've got to. I would do ANYTHING to be able to sleep...but im sure that in time, it will get better, it has to!
Thank you girlie and junkie for all your advice, you are wonderful!

~Chick

[girlie girl]

Good Luck sweetheart. I know you can do this. Just keep us posted. [:X]

Girlie Girl

[chrish1]

Hickchik - Great job. We are all pulling for you! Consider going to an NA meeting. You will find great support from fellow recovering addicts, and it can make the difference.... speaking from experience. Today is my 33rd clean day. I credit self determination and NA support.

Look up a meeting in your area:
http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm

Chrish

quote:Originally posted by Hickchik

Thank you all so much for your advice...and no worries...i won't do coke again. and i am VERY proud to say that i haven't had a single OC since tuesday night at 8pm. Its been rough..VERY rough. But im damned and determined! Hell its insane..i love having money in my pocket! I used to come home from work (bartending) and would go straight to the drug dealers house and blow EVERYTHING i made! Im going to do this...i've got to. I would do ANYTHING to be able to sleep...but im sure that in time, it will get better, it has to!
Thank you girlie and junkie for all your advice, you are wonderful!

~Chick

[CheySapphire]

Hi Everyone, well I didn't do to good, am scared I want to stop but everytime I try to stop, I get this big attuidude problem and I mean big, because I feel so yuk, my head hurts, stomach, my back and ect, I feel just like yuk, my Dh got my some subs, I just don't know how to start them or when, should I go threw with drawls before I start them, I think he said he got 20 of them for me. Please someome help me, I reall need to stop, for one I can't afford this and for two I don't eat I was 190 lbs now am 122 lbs, we all know why, but everyone else don't know why, they just keep telling me to eat and I keep telling them am not hungry cause am really not. Thanks for listening to me wine about something that is my own stupidness. take care good luck to the rest of yous who was able to do it, am proud of you guys, I wish and pray that was me.

Susan 38, Mother of 10 and Two granddaughters.

[metta]

M
Matthew : Let me please be blunt? The last seven years I have spent three clean, and four far from it. I am now twenty five my first opiate was at 16, but I fell in love at 19. I got clean when I was 20 for one year, and then started w/ Vicodone from back pain ( several car accidents). Doc stopped the Vicodin I kept going
Matthew : Then when I was 21 and 1/2 I hit rock bottom after shooting myself on purpose to get pain medicine. I shot myself in the foot, and then I went into a 28 day treatment facility, only clonodine, and librium. After that I spent 2 years completely clean!( in the second year, traveling to Juvenille halls, speaking at youth events, about drug intervention, and prevention) Then I had a 4 month relapse, recovered. Stayed clean for 8 months after that( still never did methadone, always cold turkey).Then got promoted , upper managment , large company. Started again from a Doc on Vicodin. Now one year later, my credit is ****ed, I have a wife that is nearly going to kill me!!! I want out SO BAD. But I have a life, a job, I cant be sick for 28 days again, and with 245 mgs of oxycontin a day, at 200-250 a day. I have been at it for a year, I went to a Doc, he gave me Methadone, but a month at time!!! So I started abusing Methadone ( cant leave addict with a months worth of stuff. Anyway I kept going to the doc, and although he was dropping the dose( went to the street because it was never comfartable; I feel like I have been detoxing for 2 yrs), and seeing me once a month, my tolerance was getting higher( 200 mgs, 5 wafers a day!) At my last visit ( I should of been celebrating, cuz the doc had me ( he thought) to 5 mgs of Methadone a day. I confessed, and begged for another chance, and I meant it this time. I want freedom so bad. Anyway after the confession, he asked me what would get me through five days. I told him 2 40 mgs, twice a day. He replied with I thought confirming what I said( he said DID's or something). Nurse brought me a script, and I thought it said 40 tabs for 4 days, I asked a nurse, AND SHE SAID " YES 40 40MG TABS FOR 4 DAYS". Turns out he only wrote for 8 pills, and I had no options, money, energy left. The reason he asked how much for 4 days, is because he did this training, On " New" drug called Saboxone. He told me regardless of the dose methadone I am taking, the Suboxone would clear all withdrawel symptoms immediately, and I would be fine. He told me to wait till I started feeling symptoms, " because Suboxone works only when you are in withdrawel" I took my first one, AND I GOT SO SICK , SO FAST, I PUKED BLACK PUKE IN THE TOILET, UNTIL I COULD NOT BREATH. IT WAS THE WORST DETOX EVER, AND I HAVE DETOXED ALOT!!!!!!!!! I CALLED DOC, HE SAID IT WAS NORMAL. I COULDNT MAKE IT, AND NOW I AM BACK ON STREET OPIATES....PLEASE HELP....I am a sucessful business man, and I am only 25. I have hired an Registered Nurse, Excersice specialist. She can dispense medication, and watch me , my diet and she also knows addiction. My doc. told me it was normal to react to Suboxone?? Every thing I have read about it , people say almost 100 percent say," SUBOXONE WORKES SO WELL FOR ME" Well I get sicker every time I take it, it was day seven, and the nurses at my primary care doctor WOULD NOT LISTEN, AND TREAT ME LIKE i AM SUCH AN ASS, AND IT HURTS ME SO. I AM A GOOD MAN, I HAVE A HIRED RN AND EXCELLENT FULL COVERAGE INSURANCE. CAN ANY ONE FIND ME A DOCTOR IN ROSEBURG OR. THAT WILL LISTEN TO ME, AND THAT CAN HELP. MY FAMILY DEPENDS ON WHOEVER CAN HELP ME. I am not a con, I am a good man, and I have fought so hard, I meaN LOOK " 1 yr clean, 9 months not, yrs clean 1 yr not. i need a doc in my area that can help. I have gone back to the street because 7 days of suboxone and I am only getting worse, w every dose of that ****. I mean I puked black bile after my first dose. can you help me.

sincerely,

A MAN WHO WANTS HIS LIFE BACK. BUT LIVE IN A LIMITED AREA. I AM MOVING TO WASHINGTON , RENTON IN JAN 1



Matthew : MATTHEW A. METTA 541-733-6131.
Matthew : 668

[metta]

Also if there are any Doctors out there, I have paid in advance for the next 6 months of deep intense accountability and counceling. I have hired a " Life Enhancer" She is an Rn 3 , and an excercixe specialist, and has done extensive studies, on the mental part of addiction.

She is going to dispense any medicine I get, no exceptions, on a contract, with a strict diet, Excercise Routine, comfatrtable maintenance, treating now been 7 yrs, chronic disease, called opoid dependency.



I promise you I am not a drug seeker, I really feel like I am " called" or I really have a passion to open " Safe Homes" across america. Treating opoid dependency in others, but right now it is far away.

[]Let me get to the point, I have been mistreated, and I have done every treatment that the Dr ordered, and I messed up once, but I was honest. I feel humiliated, and I was wondering, IS THERE ONLINE CONSULTS, that can result in ordering medicine to a certified Rn 3 nurse??She will dispense the medicines to me, only as reccomended, comfortable, but not easy???We have counceling, excercise, and Diet, but we need cooperation, they are brutal. I live far out in Oregon, so shipping would be a great option. Is it legal, I mean I just want it over, but it has been so scary, and not like other wihtdrawel.

[red]I am being open and honest here[/red]I have been fighting for several years, and several years has taught me what works, but no one will listen. I HAVE GREAT INSURANCE!!SO, WOULD IT BE ILLEGAL, OR HAS IT EVER BEEN DONE? (BECAUSE i AM SO IN THE OREGON WOODS, THAT A NURSE, AND THE SOUND OF THE RIVER, AND A VIEW OF THE MOUNTAINS IS GOOD, BUT WE HAVE NO GOOD MEDICAL CARE HERE) BASICALLY........can a guy like me interact w/ a dcotor online? Order certain medicines suggested by what works best for ( not just " getting by detox period, we ( The nurse and I )

Rather a plan that will cause me to make the long haul. The detox schedule would be a 2 month taper. So after that, just mild anti-inflmatory, and mild sleep aids, but no intent for long term medicine( maybe anti depressant).

I know I am all over the place, but I am just so scared, I tried " The wonder drug" Suboxone, but I felt like I was going to die, and my Dr ( keep in mind, he probably was trained by the rep at lunch) said it was normal.................I am honest, I have all the write things , House in the woods, Month of work, Registered Nurse, that will live in the guesthouse with her husband, perfrect plan, but no Dr is taking new patients, and the one I have , basically I call, get a nurse, nurse judges me, and tells me no with out asking. PUKED BLACK BILE!!! WHAT ARE MY OPTIONS, LEGAL, POSSIBLY EVEN INSURANCE COVERAGE EXCEPTED. ARE THERE REAL PLACES ON THE INTERNET THAT HAVE REAL INSTITUTIONS?





Please help me if you read this far this means you cared to hear me babble.

Signed,

Barely making it, and about to self medicate............

[becky2]

quote:Originally posted by metta

M
Matthew : Let me please be blunt? The last seven years I have spent three clean, and four far from it. I am now twenty five my first opiate was at 16, but I fell in love at 19. I got clean when I was 20 for one year, and then started w/ Vicodone from back pain ( several car accidents). Doc stopped the Vicodin I kept going
Matthew : Then when I was 21 and 1/2 I hit rock bottom after shooting myself on purpose to get pain medicine. I shot myself in the foot, and then I went into a 28 day treatment facility, only clonodine, and librium. After that I spent 2 years completely clean!( in the second year, traveling to Juvenille halls, speaking at youth events, about drug intervention, and prevention) Then I had a 4 month relapse, recovered. Stayed clean for 8 months after that( still never did methadone, always cold turkey).Then got promoted , upper managment , large company. Started again from a Doc on Vicodin. Now one year later, my credit is ****ed, I have a wife that is nearly going to kill me!!! I want out SO BAD. But I have a life, a job, I cant be sick for 28 days again, and with 245 mgs of oxycontin a day, at 200-250 a day. I have been at it for a year, I went to a Doc, he gave me Methadone, but a month at time!!! So I started abusing Methadone ( cant leave addict with a months worth of stuff. Anyway I kept going to the doc, and although he was dropping the dose( went to the street because it was never comfartable; I feel like I have been detoxing for 2 yrs), and seeing me once a month, my tolerance was getting higher( 200 mgs, 5 wafers a day!) At my last visit ( I should of been celebrating, cuz the doc had me ( he thought) to 5 mgs of Methadone a day. I confessed, and begged for another chance, and I meant it this time. I want freedom so bad. Anyway after the confession, he asked me what would get me through five days. I told him 2 40 mgs, twice a day. He replied with I thought confirming what I said( he said DID's or something). Nurse brought me a script, and I thought it said 40 tabs for 4 days, I asked a nurse, AND SHE SAID " YES 40 40MG TABS FOR 4 DAYS". Turns out he only wrote for 8 pills, and I had no options, money, energy left. The reason he asked how much for 4 days, is because he did this training, On " New" drug called Saboxone. He told me regardless of the dose methadone I am taking, the Suboxone would clear all withdrawel symptoms immediately, and I would be fine. He told me to wait till I started feeling symptoms, " because Suboxone works only when you are in withdrawel" I took my first one, AND I GOT SO SICK , SO FAST, I PUKED BLACK PUKE IN THE TOILET, UNTIL I COULD NOT BREATH. IT WAS THE WORST DETOX EVER, AND I HAVE DETOXED ALOT!!!!!!!!! I CALLED DOC, HE SAID IT WAS NORMAL. I COULDNT MAKE IT, AND NOW I AM BACK ON STREET OPIATES....PLEASE HELP....I am a sucessful business man, and I am only 25. I have hired an Registered Nurse, Excersice specialist. She can dispense medication, and watch me , my diet and she also knows addiction. My doc. told me it was normal to react to Suboxone?? Every thing I have read about it , people say almost 100 percent say," SUBOXONE WORKES SO WELL FOR ME" Well I get sicker every time I take it, it was day seven, and the nurses at my primary care doctor WOULD NOT LISTEN, AND TREAT ME LIKE i AM SUCH AN ASS, AND IT HURTS ME SO. I AM A GOOD MAN, I HAVE A HIRED RN AND EXCELLENT FULL COVERAGE INSURANCE. CAN ANY ONE FIND ME A DOCTOR IN ROSEBURG OR. THAT WILL LISTEN TO ME, AND THAT CAN HELP. MY FAMILY DEPENDS ON WHOEVER CAN HELP ME. I am not a con, I am a good man, and I have fought so hard, I meaN LOOK " 1 yr clean, 9 months not, yrs clean 1 yr not. i need a doc in my area that can help. I have gone back to the street because 7 days of suboxone and I am only getting worse, w every dose of that ****. I mean I puked black bile after my first dose. can you help me.

sincerely,

A MAN WHO WANTS HIS LIFE BACK. BUT LIVE IN A LIMITED AREA. I AM MOVING TO WASHINGTON , RENTON IN JAN 1



Matthew : MATTHEW A. METTA 541-733-6131.
Matthew : 668

[caryh]

Metta---I just read your post, and I have not yet read any of the replies you got but I will. I wanted to reply on the suboxone. I was at about the same mgs of Oxycontins per day as you and I just got out of inpatient chem dep detox yesterday. From what I was told, you have to wait 24 hours after your last use and at least have acute withdrawl start before it can be given. I dont understand all the chemical and brain receptor stuff, but the way my doctor explained it is, something in bupenorphine will kick off immediately any oc on the brain receptors, sending a person into immediate acute withdrawl if it is taken while oc is still in system obviously. At that point there is nothing they can do or give you for withdrawl. But, if you wait the 24 hours (max) the oc is no longer in your system (actively on your brain receptors??) the bupenorphine will work fine. I had a not so great 24 hours, worse of it was I couldnt sit or lay still (I also have restless leg syndrome that I had since child hood-opiate withdrawl enhances it by a million I think) but they gave me ativan and trazadone which worked for a bit but I was just couting down to my 24 hours, as soon as I got my first bup dose, I was like a new person. Granted, I was tired etc. but who cares, I could lay and sleep in peace it was great... So, dont give up on suboxone/bupenorphine. Just know the 24 hour will be the worst of it, its all uphill from there..... And actually your not in withdrawl the whole 24 hours of course. What I thought helped me at least a little was, to take more then normal the day before you go in, then the day you go in take a couple right before (40mg oc), that way it at least for me, added maybe a couple hours before I felt withdrawl because I had enough in my system, and I didnt sleep the night before I went in, although I do admit I didnt get much sleep even with the no sleeping. but I just cant stress enough, if you can get through 6 to 8 hours or so of withdrawl, and hey havent we all been there for that many hours, in seeking when we put off getting more..... and again, at least for me, when I am sick and having to go do work to get them.. urgh, at least your not having to do that in the waiting hours. My thoughts are with you..... Please let me know how you do.

cary

[ANSFAN17]

BSGJunkie

Yes, I too haved noticed after being on Suboxone for 3 weeks now that I hardly ever get horny anymore lol... I am 31 years and was a horndawg, let me tell you. But Sex has really been the last thing on my mind. Not that I care because I don't have anyone around me that I want to have sex with and I am single anyway... Lol.

Anyway, I have notice that it takes a little MORE effort to "complete" the act too. And my erections are not as hard.

But, I fell fantastic........ I have lost 13 pounds, have loads of energy. It's really amazing how those damn pills affect us...

****, I have even painted and redoecorated two rooms.. LOL.....

Be Well Everyone..... and by the way..... No cravings!!!!!!!! And I do not drink while on the Suboxone... And I am down to 2mg a day!!!!!

Anthony

[ANSFAN17]

HickChick

I agree.... I think that suboxone will do the trick for you.

All you have to do is go into see the Dr. in mild to moderate Withdrawl and then place one under your tongue and start to get your life back..... And get your Dude on it too.... Hell he got you on the Oxy get him on the Sub.... But be sure that you don't stop there.... Visit us here and start reading and try to attend sum meetings, if that works for you.... You got to heal the reason why you started taking them in the(or abusing them in the first place) otherwise you will end up right back where you started, or it will rear its ugly head in other ways....
[

It was $300.00 for my first visit, $129.00 for the suboxone, and $65.00 per visit aftet that so it is affordable... Alot less then your spending now... Go to Suboxone.com and follow through....

Let us know how you are doing........

Be Well.

3 weeks on Suboxone here and no cravings....

Anth

[ANSFAN17]

Metta

The reason that you are puking so violently is that you have to be in moderate Withdrawl before you dissolve a Suboxone under your tongue... Try to go at least 12-15 hours at least without any painkillers, when you feel that you are in AT LEAST moderate withdrawl, dissovle the Suboxone under your tongue. Do not chew crush snort or shoot it up... Suboxone has a special medicine in it that will make up have VIOLENT WITHDRAWLS if you misuse or abuse it..

My email is Ansfan17@yahoo.com

You can email me anytime and Ill give you my number if you need sum advice on taking it..

you really seem like you need someone to give you the facts and the direction when using Suboxone....

Be Strong Dude

Anthony

[anrob11]

quote:Originally posted by ANSFAN17

Metta

The reason that you are puking so violently is that you have to be in moderate Withdrawl before you dissolve a Suboxone under your tongue... Try to go at least 12-15 hours at least without any painkillers, when you feel that you are in AT LEAST moderate withdrawl, dissovle the Suboxone under your tongue. Do not chew crush snort or shoot it up... Suboxone has a special medicine in it that will make up have VIOLENT WITHDRAWLS if you misuse or abuse it..

My email is Ansfan17@yahoo.com

You can email me anytime and Ill give you my number if you need sum advice on taking it..

you really seem like you need someone to give you the facts and the direction when using Suboxone....

Be Strong Dude

Anthony

Hello Anthony

Greetings from an old brother [8D] ... You are giving some great advice to people really in need of it ... [^] You have come a long way - Congratulations [^]

[u]Metta, HickChick, caryh, and chevysapphire </u>... Listen to Anthony ... been with him since the beginning; he has learned alot; and has good experience/advice to give. [B)]

I invite any of you who haven't done so yet, to visit our Forum "Suboxone" (It's under this Topic- just scroll down until you find it). Lots of good info there from many Suboxone users / non-users.

Good Luck and God Bless ... Tony [8D]

To Be A Rock And Not To Roll

[ANSFAN17]

Anrob-

Yes, I have come along way haven't I... LOL....

Like I said before, It it wasn't for people like you on this board Anrob, I wouldn't even have known about my options or where to start. I am so grateful for that. I can't thanks you enough.

For you guys that are the little "ghosts" out there who are reading this. We know what we are talking about. The point of all this is to help us stay off this **** and just get through it. So listen to us, especially people like Anrob.....

Be Well

Anthony

[richkid04]

I have taken 1 Percocet a day, except weekends for about a year and a half now...am I in any danger?

[Mathias987]

quote:Originally posted by Ellen2012

Hi,
I have been addicted to Nurofen plus (Ibuprofen 200mg & Codiene Phosphate 12.8mg) for approx 9 years and am currently taking between 30-36 per day!.
No-one is aware of my problem and I cover it up really well, but now I really want to stop. I am not going to buy anymore and try to go cold turkey so to speak, but I'm really concerned about the side effects of withdrawal.
If anyone has any advice to help me get over this or tell me what to expect I would really really appriecate it.
Thanks

[PoppyQueen]

Richkid04: Hey there! One Perc a day, 5 days a week? I wouldn't worry about it. I wish I could keep my use down to that--I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

One question, are you taking it for pain or are you taking it for pleasure?

Should you decide to stop your body may go through mild withdrawal. Don't stop at once, go every other day, or cut the pill in half. One should taper off ANY drug taken for extended periods of time.

Hope this helps.

Poppy

[ANSFAN17]

Good advice Poppy...

I would do what Poppy said, and do it now before it escalates and you get into a mess like us here.

I went from a half a Percocet 10 a day and then ended up taking 3-5. To alot of people on here that doesn't seem like very much. I took them for almost 3 years.

I had one hell of time, and felt I was needing more and more. After 3 years of this, I had gained about 50 pounds and was just basically in a fog all day and night. I never slept for more then 4-5 hours a night for years because, my body would actually wake me up to tell me I needed another pill. And if I didn't take it? Well we all know what started to happen then.

For the first year, I was doing Coke on Saturday night and drinking at least a bottle of Jack Daniels and almost a bottle of Jagermeister on top of the pills... You can only imagine what a hangover I would get.... I used to call them an OverHang.lolol

Then the second year, I cut back the binge drinking and cocaine to once or twice a month. That was enough... I thought It all had to do with me turning 30. When I was in my twenties, it used to one, big, outrageous, morning till night party, everyday, for years. Then it was all downhill when I hit 30.

It took me another year to decide to get off the pills with the help of the cats on this board. I'm doing the Suboxone 2mg. It has been a wonderful thing for me.

I know some people here felt that I was on the "low scope of addiction". But my Dr. felt the same way I did. There is no such thing as a low scope of addiction. I have been on these pills for no reason whatsoever. And I could not stop on my own. I tried and tried, but the withdrawls were just too intense. And I have a high pain tolerance having had numerous kidney stones and scratched corneas twice. I just simply could't do it.

I think that alot of people unlike us need to understand that quitting is not a question of willpower. It is not a choice.

Of course it was our choice to take the first few pills, but then something takes over, and it feels that this "escape" works for us. That is why addiction is a disease. If it wasn't pills, it probably would have been overeating. If not overeating then it would have been compulsive shopping, If it wasn't shopping it would have been ****************************************. If it wasn't **************************************** it would have been sex. I could go on and on. The point is is that pills were the first thing that I found an escape in and I made the choice to get a handle on it. Now that I feel I pretty much do, It scares the **** out of me thinking the disease of addiction will rear its ugly head in another way. Thats why we have to treat the Whole problem. Not just put a Bandaid on it.

When people found out that I was gay, If I heard one more time that it was a choice I made, I think I would have wrapped myself in Christmas light and taken a shower. Why the hell would I make a choice to place all the burdans that are associated with being gay on my back? You would have to be pretty stupid to do so, I feel, to go through it for no reason whatsoever.

So my ultimate point is why would I choose to do the same with a drug addiction? It is not a choice to be an addict. And I am sick and tired of the stigmatisms that come with the label of "addict" and "homosexual".

So if there are people lurking on here who feel this way, after reading some of the "Get a grip" posts, Think twice about what your addictions are. Like I said before It could be that your an overeater, a compulsive ******************************r, or even a money grubbin person. The list could go on and on.

Be Well Everybody.
Anthony

Fire on Fire, rain on my face
Fever goes higher what can you do
Wild in the darkest places in your mind
Thats where I needed you
Where I needed you most
Don't blame it on me
Blame it on my Wild Heart...Stevie Nicks

[VTX1300]

Good morning All,

Sorry I haven't checked in with you over the past week, but I'm back for a couple of days till I go on vacation for 4 days.

Well, I've got 7 days of C+S today I'm doing really good. I've already shared with you any and all the withdraws I've had. Not painful, or too difficult to bear. Like I said, I used the advice of someone I had read on a forum who said they would countdown till it was time to go to bed (only X number of hours till sleep). psycologically, this approach help me fend off the cravings I had to use while going through withdraws. Now, mind you, I didn't go thru some of the severe withdrawls that some of you have had to endure (I thank The Man for that). I still am having cravings, but I'm working through those one at a time. I still feel flushed from time to time, foggy headed, and tired. But, you know what I figured out I feel that way with or without drugs. At least now I can hold my head higher knowing I'm on the right path. I've been writing in my NA log every night before going to bed, I've been praying almost constantly for Strength, Serenity, and courage especially in the morning and night and when I'm having cravings. I've also been opening up and talking to my fiance about what I'm going thru. Some times I babble endlessly with out any real content to what I'm saying, somtimes I get very deep and spiritual. It has been good to be able to share with her what I'm going thru physically, mentally, and spritually. It, really, hasn't been too bad as far as staying clean, and has been very awesome the mending going on in our relationship. Just taking it one minute at a time. The hardest times for me are when I'm alone, or have too much idle time. What I've been doing is if I'm alone and my mind starts getting me into that "stinkin' thinkin'" mode, I simply turn to the bible and start reading. It's truly amazing how the Good Lord can combat that evil thinking, if we let him.

The encouragement I recieve from this board is awesome. You all are to be highly commended. I still haven't made it to an NA meeting, yet. But I am gonna make it. I hope to be able to "pay it forward" as many of you have done for me.

Metta,

I'm probably not all that qualified to comment, but dude you keep on keeping on. You've turned the corner, you are trying to do right, just keep moving forward, even if you backslide once in awhile. I know you said your wife is about to "kill you". Have you been able to open and honestly talk to her? Now, I want you to keep in mind that when you do this, you run the risk of getting crushed. But, what you need to understand is that right now she doesn't trust you, you will have to earn that trust back. And you can do it, by being open and honest with her from this day on. Honest and PATIENT. It takes some time to earn trust back. Be patient with her and yourself. It can be a difficult thing to do, but well worth it in the end. Have you looked at any NA (narcotics Anonymous) literature or visited there website. There is a lot of GREAT stuff there. One cool thing about keeping a daily log, as they suggest doing, is that you can go back an watch yourself getting better, one day at a time. I know I'm only on day 7, but these are some things that have helped me stay on the right path. As I said, I haven't been to an NA meeting, yet. This forum has been my NA group, but NA has a ton of literature that is helpful. The other thing that,I believe, is vitally important is your relationship with the Man. There is a passage in the bible that says, ......with man nothing is possible, but with God all things are possible.... (or something close to that) Your God will give you love, and understanding, and forgiveness, and strength, and....... all that you will need. It truely is an amazing thing to see how healing the spirit can heal the mind and body. Keep on taking it one day at a time, you know a marathon runner could never finish the race if he didn't take the first step. Run your marathon, work through your discomfort (physical, emotional, spiritual), and feel satisfied up completing the race. Take that first step, bro..............

I can't remember who the person was that has the RN 3, wooded lot, in Oregon (I think). Bro, you gotta get out and talk to people about this thing we call addiction. You've got to share with people what you are goin through. This forum is an awesome place, but look for a group to get involved with. Find someone you care about, and confide in them. IMHO, the hardest times for us, as addicts, is the time we spend alone and are idle. That is when the "stinkin'thinkin'" can take over and get the best of you. Good luck.

Hope all are doing well. I pray for us all every morning and every night. Stay strong thru the Man, I'm proud to know you all, but more important that that He is glad to know you.

God Bless,

V

[kyhomegirl]

Congrats VTX!! It's so nice to know that it is actually possible to quit this stuff. It really gives me hope that I can overcome this.

[chrish1]

VTX - You are doing awesome man! I can really relate to a lot of your experiences since I am on day # 36 clean. Your recovery has begun. That was a great job getting that NA literature, and I'm glad that helped. Get to your first meeting - I think it will help you get through this thing even better. The cravings and addict thinking is getting better for me now that I have passed 30 days, but I find that I still need to be on the look out for the "pattern" thinking that leads me back to use. I know you know what I am talking about. The guys at NA told me to "run the tape" when that type of thinking comes up. This means to basically think about if you used again- it starts gradually and builds right back up within a couple weeks or a month. Then, you are right back where you were - In misery

Anyway, keep it up! You are doing all the right things. Get to your first NA meeting. Keep us posted. I love a great success story!

Chrish

quote:Originally posted by VTX1300

Good morning All,

Sorry I haven't checked in with you over the past week, but I'm back for a couple of days till I go on vacation for 4 days.

Well, I've got 7 days of C+S today I'm doing really good. I've already shared with you any and all the withdraws I've had. Not painful, or too difficult to bear. Like I said, I used the advice of someone I had read on a forum who said they would countdown till it was time to go to bed (only X number of hours till sleep). psycologically, this approach help me fend off the cravings I had to use while going through withdraws. Now, mind you, I didn't go thru some of the severe withdrawls that some of you have had to endure (I thank The Man for that). I still am having cravings, but I'm working through those one at a time. I still feel flushed from time to time, foggy headed, and tired. But, you know what I figured out I feel that way with or without drugs. At least now I can hold my head higher knowing I'm on the right path. I've been writing in my NA log every night before going to bed, I've been praying almost constantly for Strength, Serenity, and courage especially in the morning and night and when I'm having cravings. I've also been opening up and talking to my fiance about what I'm going thru. Some times I babble endlessly with out any real content to what I'm saying, somtimes I get very deep and spiritual. It has been good to be able to share with her what I'm going thru physically, mentally, and spritually. It, really, hasn't been too bad as far as staying clean, and has been very awesome the mending going on in our relationship. Just taking it one minute at a time. The hardest times for me are when I'm alone, or have too much idle time. What I've been doing is if I'm alone and my mind starts getting me into that "stinkin' thinkin'" mode, I simply turn to the bible and start reading. It's truly amazing how the Good Lord can combat that evil thinking, if we let him.

The encouragement I recieve from this board is awesome. You all are to be highly commended. I still haven't made it to an NA meeting, yet. But I am gonna make it. I hope to be able to "pay it forward" as many of you have done for me.

Metta,

I'm probably not all that qualified to comment, but dude you keep on keeping on. You've turned the corner, you are trying to do right, just keep moving forward, even if you backslide once in awhile. I know you said your wife is about to "kill you". Have you been able to open and honestly talk to her? Now, I want you to keep in mind that when you do this, you run the risk of getting crushed. But, what you need to understand is that right now she doesn't trust you, you will have to earn that trust back. And you can do it, by being open and honest with her from this day on. Honest and PATIENT. It takes some time to earn trust back. Be patient with her and yourself. It can be a difficult thing to do, but well worth it in the end. Have you looked at any NA (narcotics Anonymous) literature or visited there website. There is a lot of GREAT stuff there. One cool thing about keeping a daily log, as they suggest doing, is that you can go back an watch yourself getting better, one day at a time. I know I'm only on day 7, but these are some things that have helped me stay on the right path. As I said, I haven't been to an NA meeting, yet. This forum has been my NA group, but NA has a ton of literature that is helpful. The other thing that,I believe, is vitally important is your relationship with the Man. There is a passage in the bible that says, ......with man nothing is possible, but with God all things are possible.... (or something close to that) Your God will give you love, and understanding, and forgiveness, and strength, and....... all that you will need. It truely is an amazing thing to see how healing the spirit can heal the mind and body. Keep on taking it one day at a time, you know a marathon runner could never finish the race if he didn't take the first step. Run your marathon, work through your discomfort (physical, emotional, spiritual), and feel satisfied up completing the race. Take that first step, bro..............

I can't remember who the person was that has the RN 3, wooded lot, in Oregon (I think). Bro, you gotta get out and talk to people about this thing we call addiction. You've got to share with people what you are goin through. This forum is an awesome place, but look for a group to get involved with. Find someone you care about, and confide in them. IMHO, the hardest times for us, as addicts, is the time we spend alone and are idle. That is when the "stinkin'thinkin'" can take over and get the best of you. Good luck.

Hope all are doing well. I pray for us all every morning and every night. Stay strong thru the Man, I'm proud to know you all, but more important that that He is glad to know you.

God Bless,

V

[richkid04]

The reason why I asked was because I saw that Eddie Guerrero, the WWE Wrestler passed away, and I knew of his past drug and alcohol abuse, and how they thought that he died because of his past use, even though he was sober for 4 years.

I have only drank a handful of times, and have never taken more than 1 pill a day in the year and a half I have taken them. I have never really felt the need to take them, it just became routine for me to take one, usually at night, and I felt that I needed to take one so I wouldn't break my routine.

I have gone weeks without taking one a few times, and most recently about a month ago I stopped for about 5 days just because I didn't feel like it.

So, I don't feel that I am addicted, it's just I don't want to end up dead.

[mpvt]

Your doing the right thing Richkid,you sure as hell don't need to become addicted.Stop using these unless prescribed by a doctor.Alot of people start just as innocently as you and become full blown addicts.There is only 2 outcomes for addicts and that's recovery or death no inbetweens.You sound like a person who has a head on your shoulder so do yourself a favor and stop taking these now!!!!!......Good luck and take it easy.....Dave

[richkid04]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my questions, you were a big help.

Should I stop right away or make it gradual?

[richkid04]

One more thing...

Am I Considered an addict?

[girlie girl]

Richkid, Only you can answer that question. If you crave your pills and feel sick without them....then I would say yes. I don't think one pill a day is going to do anything bad to you. There are people that eat 20-30 pills a day. But thier bodies are shot to hell. Stop taking them if your worried about becoming addicted. Most people start out with one pill then it keeps going up. Your on this forum for a reason. You have to choose what you want to do next. But I'll tell you one thing, you don't want to be stuck in the same hell alot of us are in. I started with one or two pills a day...somedays thats all I still take,but I have to have them. Don't get sucked into that ****. Best wishes. [:X]

Girlie Girl

[PoppyQueen]

RichKid, put your mind at ease. I don't think you're an addict.

You never answered my question as to why you take them, so I'm gonna assume you take them to feel good. Especially at night, pop a pill and zone out on some TV (for me).

It sounds like you can take them or leave them--so leave them. Besides the possibilities of addiction, they are dangerous for your liver in the long term--especially if mixed with alcohol.

Poppy

[richkid04]

To answer your question, I do the same as you, lay down at night, and watch some TV.

I don't think I am an addict because I can go a long period of time without wanting one, and I don't feel sick if I don't have one.

I think what I am gonna do is just take one every now and then, if I feel like it.

Thanks for all your help

[chrish1]

Richkid04 - you may or may not be addicted. It is really irrelavant at this point. If you keep taking them, sooner or later it is extremely likely that you will be addicted for sure. The problem is, by the time most of us addicts realize that we are addicted and what the addiction is doing to our life it has already caused major emotional, spiritual, and physical damage.

My advise to you: Stop taking them now while you can

Sorry, I hate to be so blunt but addiction is hell on earth. Let me put it this way: If there was/is a hell, would you want to play near the flames for an extended period of time? Well, if you want to know what true addiction is before you get there that is the best description I can give you. Do yourself a favor and flush those pills. Since you are not using them for the intended purpose but for pleasure you are abusing them. Period.

I had a rough day today. Almost relapsed. Came very close. Tomorrow is clean day # 38.

Good luck to all.

Chrish

quote:Originally posted by richkid04

To answer your question, I do the same as you, lay down at night, and watch some TV.

I don't think I am an addict because I can go a long period of time without wanting one, and I don't feel sick if I don't have one.

I think what I am gonna do is just take one every now and then, if I feel like it.

Thanks for all your help

[anrob11]

quote:Originally posted by richkid04

One more thing...

Am I Considered an addict? <