Painkiller Addiction

[iknowit]

IM SORRY< i thought that this was a board where people talk and try to help one another?
It seems no one REALLY read my post?
I haven't drank or took any painkillers in a month! I'm on from 8-10 mg of sub a day and that works for me, thats why I inquired what others where on. and just because i have urges doesn't mean i should hurry and up my dose.
I thought i was working thru it by talking on this board, maybe for a little encouragement, instead you guys picked thru my post and just took it the way you wanted too?
I also mentioned that I don't think every addict is an addict for life and can't ever drink again. I think you should stop for a long time and if you truley feel you can , have an occational drink, however some can never.
MY Point is that everyone is different, and we should all respect that and try to help.
You people don't have the answers to everything, sometimes we all need to vent?
AND< are you serious , none of you have MENTAL urges?

by the way poppyqueen, i said i thought of not taking sub and taking viks, did you read the next sentence? or do i only get credit for negitivity?[?]

[LSUtigers]

quote:Originally posted by cyclist

Thanks to all who have responded thus far. To Pthelps, I guess a fortunate thing is that besides all the meds I cannot take because of my stomach problems, I also cannot take benzodiazepines (Valium, Xanax, Ativan, etc.). Because of my metabolism, instead of calming me, they make me extremely agitated and physically violent, so luckily, there is no way that I can use these to help but "trade one addiction for another" as I feel the same way. You recommended seeing a pain doc, it was a pain doc that told me that my pain did not warrant narcotics. He also told me that "my back was fine, you've never had back surgery." I took my MRI films to my orthopedic doc who just shook his head because he noted "bulging discs, lumbar spondylosis, sacroiliitis, mild scoliosis, and degenerative disc disease" I had no idea anything was wrong with my back until just a couple of weeks ago when I twisted the wrong way and have been in ungodly pain since from the bulging discs. My problems had always been with my knees from many years of running and pounding, and hip pain. With regards to the med many people have noted that works wonders, I do not know if anyone in the area prescribes it. As I said, I am in a bigger city now that where I lived but it is about 10years behind in everything and very, very conservative (regarding everything). Whereas it may be easy to acquire pain meds or help elsewhere, you cannot attain either here. Luckily, I am getting back on my feet from my ex's escapades and hope to move in the next few months. I am trying hard, but have no motivation whatsoever. All I have left in the world, and all the social contact I have at all here, is thru my biking and working out and for the last 2-3 weeks since back injury, I have not been able to do anything and for me I honestly do not want to live if I can't be active. Then on top of this, that doc who decided to wean me off suddenly, I am very depressed. I will not have surgery, as everyone I know (including patient's at the practice where I am employed and one of the other rn's, who have had surgery have more problems after than they ever did before. I honestly do not know anyone that it helped. I am in Physical therapy and hopefully this will help. I am trying hard to make myself do things even though the withdrawals are terrible. My back hurts but I may try to bike a few easy miles today. Thanks everyone, I cannot express how much I appreciate it, as I am truly alone here and going thru this is terrible enough on its own but without any support system, it is 100x worse. Thanks again. Hanging in there, Cyclist.

[LSUtigers]

Dear Cyclist,
I'm new to the format of this board so I apologize ahead of time for any mistakes I make in trying to post a reply.

I am in the process of becoming board certified as an addiction specialist. My minor is Forensic Psychology. I formerly was in a physical therapy school until I was rear-ended at 45 mph and my back & neck were injured so badly that ethically I didn't feel I should retain a spot in the PT program as I knew I wouldn't be able to meet the job requirements of being a PT, such as lifting or turning a patient, etc.

Anyway, my own path of dealing the cycle of pain/depression/anxiety, etc. is similar to many of the posts others have written.

I was so accustomed to back pain that I went twenty hours with a ruptured appendix and almost ended up killing myself due to the delay in getting treatment. The only reason I even went to the ER is my best friend recognized I was sick on the phone and her husband who is a paramedic came over to get my 6 year old son (now 9) and he did an exam before he left. He then told my 16 year old daughter to call 9ll after he left. He didn't want my son to be frightened by seeing me taken out of our home at night in an ambulance.

When I got to the ER I told them I had pain of about 5 on the normal scale of 1-10. By the time they got my diagnosis (I was knocked out on a morphine drip since I didn't have acute pain), I had peritonitis which is usually fatal if treatment is delayed.

By the time it was over, my heart had stopped in surgery & I had developed such a high tolerance to drugs that an anesthesiologist had to be in charge of my pain medication in the hospital as the doses I had to take to stop the pain were so high that my blood pressure kept dropping so low I'd faint.

Fortunately, my pain specialist is an anesthesiologist who also is board certified in treating pain due to trauma and also treats the stress caused by chronic pain. So, when I feel the current dose of my pain meds aren't working as well, I go ahead and have her drop it down each week until I'm almost completely off at the end of the month and then on the lst week of the next month we go back to the higher dose which works just like it did at the beginning. That 30 days is rather difficult (due to the pain) but I've never had any withdrawal symptoms on any narcotic I have ever taken. I take 600mcg of Actiq (instant release fentanyl) for breakthrough pain and then 60 mg of Kadian (morphine) every l2 hours.

I had outpatient surgery on my back today and right now I'm not in much pain at all and yet I am wide awake, able to speak normally, and, basically, don't feel like I'm on anything.

Most pain specialists will tell you that when a patient says they feel "normal" when they take their medication, that they know the patient is getting the correct dose.

In Florida (temporarily here due to having to leave Louisiana) physicians can get in trouble if they UNDER treat a patient, just like they can get in trouble for OVER treating a patient. Given I'm studying substance abuse and addiction I spend a lot of time with physicians talking about narcotics and other drugs that can be abused and it is a very difficult situation for the physician to know how to treat the patient. They want them as pain free as possible on a safe basis, but, they don't want their patient to trade one problem for another.....i.e., trading pain for ending up in rehab.

So, what I will tell the chronic pain patients is if you wake up and are in extreme pain (like I've done too many times to count) and then after taking my meds as prescribe and then feel normal as if I haven't had meds, then you will know your medication dose is currently correct for you.

Oh, the rate of addiction for patients with true chronic pain is less than 1%. It is only people who are taking more meds or a higher dose than is necessary that get the side effects that can mentally lead to seeking a high, buzz, etc.

There is a website called: www.aapm.org (american association of pain management) and they put out a monthly newsletter and it is full of wonderful information.

I wish you much success in controlling your pain.

Phyllis

quote:Originally posted by pthelps

Dear Cyclist.
Medicine often has opposite effects on me too.I see one thing that is very harmful to your health and that is thoughts of sucide you use buzz words and do it like it was nothing .Oh my god I have been there too .That is what the doc . should have treated first .I can not tell you after fighting taking anti depression drugs because I was too proud and felt if I was depressed I was weak .Those old type antidepression drugs have opposite effects on me amitrypline Elevil and so on .I first tried celexa for 6 or 7 montheswith not much change .My happines arrived about 6 weeks after I tried wellbutrin .I felt like my old self again .I take a high dose .if you notice a difference but it is not enough ask for more ........You can not cure or help yourself completly untill you lessen those thoughts of suicide .Most people faced with long term pain with n o relieve in site have the same thoughts I know I did Even small ones after anti depressiants .There is hope out there my friend you will have to seek it out and do not give up .It always helps me to think that there is always some one else way worse than me .Have you seen any of the vets who have come back from Irac . If you read back on this site threr are all kinds of horror stories .

Have you thought to let one of your workout friends know you are hurt .Maybe they know a good doctor for your back .I saw a neuro surgern for my neck .He did backs too .What you have is very painful but time and pyhaical therapy helps keeps thoes muscles from going bad and getting trigger points .They were the worse for me .

Can you try another doc .Dont seek out drugs seek out a reason why you feel so bad ...Go back to that pain clenic and see the psycoligist and reexplain your case .My first visit to my last pain clenic took my pain meds way downand told me I hade rebound headaches .After suffering for 2 days in hell i got brave and called back for another appointment and saw someone else .They could see I was in pain and I explained that I 'v played the headache game for a long time and it was my neck and two unsuccessful surgeries ,nerve radiopathy ..two impinged shoulders /corprol tunnel in both wrists .ulcerative colitis atheritis .pain from my head down my spine to the shoulder down my arm to my hands and to the shoulder blades that were full of trigger points .I have degenerative disc desease at three levels cervical .thorasic and lumbar .You may not have any choice about surgery it sounds like you have some spinal involvement .You can't ?????? with that .Believe me I would be the last person to sugest surgery . I had no choice either . Try looking those words on your mri report on the net or ask your physical threapist .My physiacl therapiist the third one was a spine specialists and is the reason I am pain med free for the first time in 6 years >I was on some heavy **** and it did not take care of half of the pain .Trigger point shots helped for a while and lessened in time .Botox shots in the muscles helped for a short time until the last shots I recieved to the back of my skull gave viral meningitis .It doesnt hardly ever happen but it does happen .Message therapy helps too way more than I ever thought .

Try that pain aid board I told you about .They have doctors and nurses who answer questions like your back problem they have a nutritionist and a lisned message person who is great .It is also a place where you can explor your rights to pain medicine if you need it . Why didn't the doctor give you an anti depressiant when you went to your pain doc,,.I didnt tell you some of the stuff I have to make you feel sorry for me I wanted to let you know even though you are full of pain now there is hope that one day you might be able to be regular .I feel now that I am on the same page as most people .If you listen there are many people in a lot of pain if not physical mental pain with regular stuff .I have been pain pill free except for 4 small small ones 2 for headache and 2 for muscles for 4 weeks Monday .I also took keppra for migrains neurontin for nerve pain ,prednisone mobic an anti imflamitory relpax and maxalt for migrains avinza 180mgs a day MSir 30 mgs sometimes actiq losengers ,liquid phenergran f and reglan for vomitinng many others for things as they popped up .I only take wellbutrin and baclofen and prevacid 2 times a day.Please see that there is hope .I exercise mostly stretching .walk for an hour a day and ride a bike ststionary one for 15 mins to a half hour..Just a few short monthes ago I couldnt do ant of them ..So dont give up .If you need to email me you can do that by ussing this site to find my email address .

Good luck and god bless it does help to ask him for help .Remember how he suffered much like us ..

Keep trying and try not to let pain claim your mind too .It is bad enough it controls your body .PLEASE try the pain place again and that pain aid place on the net .Just ask and I will get you the exact address for you .

[LSUtigers]

Hi, I found your post interesting. I, too, have had multiple c-sections. I had my son on a Wednesday and went to church on Sunday. I couldn't stand up and sit down & repeat that like most churches do...once I sat I remained seated, but at least I was there. What got me was having a ruptured appendix for 20 hours that turned into peritonis, which is basically blood poisoning.

I was so accustomed to back pain that I told the ER physician my pain wasn't that bad. So, he knocked me out cold on a morphine drip while they did the tests. By the time the results all came back (5 hours), I was awakened, given my diagnosis, asked if I wanted "last rites", asked to sign a consent form (I think I just put an 'x') and the last thing I heard was the surgeon complaining to the ER doctor that due to his incompetence and delay of treatment that he may have "just killed this young woman".

And it almost did. My heart stopped in surgery & I had an afterlife experience. Recovery was so long and hard that I'm still not quite back to pre-surgery and it's been over a year.

The one that hasn't happened is my body becoming so dependent on the meds or I have withdrawal.

The only medication(s) I've had during the past year that caused severe withdrawal symptoms is either Topamax or Atenelol. Both are for preventive migraine treatment. I went to Miami with my boyfriend to visit his parents and I left the migraine medications at home. Since I had my pain meds with me (I keep a small amount of my meds in my valet case for travel in case I forget the bottles) I didn't think it would be a big deal if I had not put the new medications for the headache in with the other travel supply.

Within 24 hours I started feeling "off". Within 36 hours, I told my boyfriend I felt just I did when I had my brain seizure (caused by my ex-husband giving me a towel with inhalants in it to throw up in) and that I wanted to leave Miami and come back home near my regular doctor. We left within two hours. By the time we were half-way back to Orlando from Miami, I couldn't walk without assistance. Once we got back to my place, as we were opening the door I told him I was dizzy and he turned and caught me as I started losing my balance. I got inside and was immediately nauseous. I talked to the pharmacist who had filled my Rx's and asked her which could be causing the problem, if any of them or could it be a stomach virus. She looked at my profile and immediately told me to take the two migraine drugs, along with my pain meds. They stayed down about 5 minutes. We called her back because we didn't have a clue how much of the medication had had time to get in my bloodstream. So, she told what I could and could not take a 2nd dose of. Within an hour I was perfectly fine.

To this day, I will not take the preventive migraine medication nor will I take anti-seizure medication. Once my neurologist ruled that I had an "isolated seizure of unknown origin", he allowed me to stop that medication as it made me feel totally drunk & I hated that.

My point? I had always felt it was the narcotics, muscle relaxers, anti-anxiety meds to be cautious about taking. But, they are nothing compared to the side effects of the preventive migraine meds if you just stop them or the drunken effect of the seizure medication if the amount that remains in your bloodstream is too high. I've never been afraid of medications until I had those two reactions. And none of the narcotics ever gave me side effects, except for once in the hospital after the appendectomy/peritonitis surgery, the nurse misread the physician's handwriting and gave me a double dose of Dilaudid. It didn't hurt me but I saw people that weren't there, things crawling on the ceiling, couldn't follow a storyline on the tv, couldn't remember if I had paged the nurse, etc. I got so paranoid on the Dilaudid that a nurse finally came in and got on my bed with me until I went to sleep.

There was a man from Baghdad in the room next to me, (his son is a physician with hospital privileges) and he would scream out once-in-a-while, "I am Juan Valdez from Bagdhdad, Iraq." (the first time he screamed that out loud, I could hear the call buttons in all the rooms nearby paging for a nurse. That would have been scary if I hadn't been sick but being on meds and so sick I was afraid we were being invaded...as did the other patients based on how many buzzers I heard going off.

They finally had to put the man in a wing where he was isolated from other patients as his screaming about Iraq was extremely upsetting to the patients and staff.

One of my nurses came in and she was clearly stressed so I jokingly said to her that they should just call his physician and tell them he was in a lot of pain and could he have something to help him sleep." Well, the nurse smiled at me and said, "thanks for the idea". Shortly, after the nurse came in and told me that he was "resting comfortably".

Sorry for drifting, (I'm still on my post-op med....awake but having a little difficulty focusing as the med is still in me).

My point I am trying to make is that we all need to be careful to read about any medication we are given. I had no clue a non-controlled substance for headaches could cause such severe withdrawal symptoms. Topamax can also cause a decreased tolerance to heat (how do you deal with that in Florida?), increased sweating and increased risk of low potassium due to the sweating and heat intolerance. So, then I had to take potassium by IV which burns really bad when mixed with phernergan for nausea.

So, if my surgery today takes care of the nerve problem and I don't have to take any more medication, I will be the happiest woman alive. I was a long distant cyclist (minimum 25 miles per day) and was extremely fit, especially for a woman who gave birth at 40 to a l0 pound baby (by c-section, thankfully).

Sorry if I rambled too much. For some reason, I am wide awake and can't sleep. Have any of you had pain medication that made you a little jittery instead of drowsy? It is a weird feeling.

Thank you to those of you who put up with this entire post. You are very kind.

Phyllis

quote:Originally posted by ann654321

quote:Originally posted by Iamfree

Hello,
I am so happy to have found this site. Although, I must say it would have been even more helpful almost two years ago. I am a former pain pill addict. I have been clean for 1 year, 8 months and 16 days. And it feels so good to be free from that horrific cyclical nightmare! I had gotten so bad that I was up to 80 pills a day! (No ****!) I abused Vicodin the most, but my drug of choice was Percocet. I just couldn't get those as much as I would have liked.

It began innocently enough. I had a vast amount of extremely painful scar tissue surrounding all of my inner reproductive organs from C-sections that only laying down relieved the pain. However, being a divorced mother of three very active sons with a father who successfully dodges his child support obligations, laying down was not an option. Hence, I was given pain pills before, during and after 3 additional surgeries. It didn't take long before I realized "my little healers" as I called them back then, provided more than relief from pain. Being quite depressed due to my unfortunate circumstances, the euphoric state I recieved from their ingestation was more than welcomed.

However, after going through $9,000 of my retirement fund and catching myself in the mirror while down on my hands and knees sucking up a handful that my stomach had rejected, I knew it was past due for me to get help.

I tried Detox twice, but was right back on within 24 hours of being released. Rehab wasn't an option with three sons and no support system. My final plan which should have been my first, was to get on my handds and knees and ask our Creator for HELP! So I did. And I soon learned of a program that combined 5 hours of weekly counseling sessions with Suboxone treatment. I began the regiment and have been clean ever since. I have even had minor but quite painful oral surgery that required the use of Vicodin. I took it correctly for
three days and have had no problems. And where some patients have become addicted to the Suboxone, I have not. I had to initially take the hihgest dosage due to the staggering amount of Vicodin I was taking, however, I am now at the point where I go days without taking it. In fact I usually only take it if I have pain of any sort.

It has been a totally up hill battle. Going through wihtdrawal was the worst thing I haveever been through including three C-sections but one I am happy to say I am winning.

The one bit of advice I would like to give is that I do beleive in NA and AA Programs but I do not believe in continually affirming that I am an addict, as I believe you are what you affirm yourself to be. And I affirm that I am Drug Free! I hope my story has been an inspiration for someone! It does take hard work and support but YOU can beat this!

Look for my book. It will be out soon. I will put my screen name below the synopsis on the back cover so you will all know who I am.
I am dedicating every bit of my spare time to helping others to beat this type of addiction! It has become my Life's Ministry!

God Bless You All!

[LSUtigers]

Dear PQ: I understand you are scared. I am studying to be a board certified addictional professional. I had my appendix rupture, then an 8 day stay in the ER due to potassium so low I was at risk any second for a heart attack and then my ex-husband two weeks later (I was sick with severe nausea for the 2nd time in 4 weeks, the lst time cause the low potassium mentioned above) gave me a towel to throw up in that had chemical inhalants in it and it caused a massive brain seizure. He showed no concern after seeing me have the seizure and when I asked him what he did to me, he just coldly said, "I didn't do anything to you". He slept in our son's room (he was 7 at the time, now newly 9) and he found me the next morning (my husband,not son) in our bed unconcscious laying in vomit, blood, feces and urine. He gave me a bath in which I kept passing out & then he drove me to the ER. He stayed for several hours and then left to go be with our l7 & 7 year old kids. The neurologist kept trying to get in contact with him and never got an answer. I was put in an ICU room within the ER as they didn't know if I would make it through the night. My ex came in the next day and I wouldn't let the kids see me for the first five days as I looked so bad. The mirrors had been moved out of my room but I could tell by touching my face and seeing my arms that I had some sort of bumps all over my body and face & I was afraid I'd scared the kids. I forgot to mention I was unconcscious for two days before waking up. I had to get my own ride home from the hospital after a week there and then he made my friend leave and made me get dressed to go to the credit union to close on our mortgage papers so he could overnight them to the mortgage company. The next day he was out playing golf with his employees and the next day he drove to his new position within the company l20 miles away and left me all that time with the kids. Fortunately, they were in school so by the time the youngest got out, my l7 year old daughter was home & she could drive to pick up her brother with me in the car. We moved to Orlando & after we had spent months having my dream home built, he served me with divorce papers. Oh, I forgot to tell you he called the police on a Monday morning and told them I had tried to commit suicide on SUNDAY. They came in my bedroom and woke me up. Again my ex had slept in our son's room. (so much for being worried about suicide,huh?) In Florida the police are required to admit you to a psychiatric hospital for a 72 observation if they think you are of harm to yourself or others. However, the psychiatrist let me go within two hours of meeting me as he said there wasn't anything wrong with me except having an abusive husband". So, I only had to spend one night there because the doctor was already gone for the day when I got there.
It's now l8 months later and our divorce is final. He accused me of being a drug addict based on the 3 hospitalizations and I got kicked out of my home, lost my kids and got $1000 per month to live on. (I was 47 and hadn't worked in 17 years). I now get $3,000 a month alimony, but I have to pay HIM $900 child support. His attorney is married to a Judge in the same courthouse as our presiding Judge AND our presiding Judge presided over my ex-s attorney's divorce l5 years ago. (sound fishy to you?) He still hasn't given me $65,000 he owes me ordered by the court & when I filed a motion for enforcement to the Judge, his attorney claimed I hadn't notified him on a timely basis (he knew the day before I filed the motion) and the Judge ruled in his favor. So, I have to file another motion to get month that was awarded to me in MAY. Then it takes two months after the Judge signs the order to give me my money again. In the meantime, he built a house while we were divorcing, then told the Judge he didn't have any cash to give me (she allowed him to hold all our assets based on his claim I'd spend it on drugs). He is marrying a former employee of his who they both claim they dated four months before getting engaged & the wedding is in Dec or Jan. Our daughter & son haven't even met their future step-brothers & my ex feels that is ok. He is still abusive to me. I went to a rehab for a drug assessment (3 days to do it) and he managed to find out where I went by calling our insurance company and he then called the rehab and told them I was a drug addict so they kept me 45 days and then HE found out when I was being released BEFORE ME! I was released into a domestic violence shelter for women. The rehab placed had assessed me as being a DV victim, not me. It was horrible there. I didn't identify with anyone in rehab as I have never done any illegal drugs but in rehab there are only two trains of thought a patient is allowed: "I'm an addict and need help" or "they think you are in denial". And until you admit you need help and do their program they keep you. It was $45,000 per month. Rehab did have lots of fun moments. I was a perfect patient since I wasn't on drugs when I came in so I had lots of privileges: going to the movie, living in an apartment they paid for at $1,500 per month, swimming pool, jacuzzi, indoor gym, indoor basketball court, hockey games (owner of rehab was also part owner of the hockey team: guess treating drug addicts is lucrative.
My ex got out of the marriage with over $700,000 and I got $100,000 (65,000 he still has).
I now have to file with the appellate court to get things overturned or dismissed. I've been under so much stress I've been in the hospital twice this past month (October) for a bleeding ulcer.
My miracle is how well my son (just now 9) is doing. We talk every single night unless his Dad can prevent it & we say our prayers together every night. He is kind, compassionate, smart, and loving and says beautiful prayers for someone who is only 9. Last weekend as we were getting in bed to read he looked at me and said, "Mommy, I know what the 3 most important things are? And when I asked what they were he said, "God/Jesus first, people second & money third". I almost started crying it was so sweet. His father has put us through hell and here he is knowing his priorities. He has figured out his Father is keeping us apart and I can see a big blow up coming between him and his Dad once our son is older.
My point of all I wrote you is that drugs for some people can save their life (like mine with the 3 hospitalizations) and yet those very same situations and medications can cost a person everything. (like it did me). The Judge never asked me anything medically the day she kicked me out at our very first hearing. I have no family (my twin died when in preschool, my mom when I was l5 and my brother when I was 21). I had this beautiful home in Windermere (part of Orlando) which is where Tiger Woods & Shaq and all the 'beautiful' people live. Pop: 2,500 so you saw celebs and pretty people everywhere. And then boom. I lost it all in one day based on his allegations. At the end of the divorce, the Judge wrote in her fulings that I can take any medication, including any narcotic, as long as I used it as prescribed. Thank goodness I was able to convince her I wasn't a drug addict. But, now I am in a full blown custody fight. My little one doesn't want his father to remarry so soon & he wants to be with me. So, all I can do is get well and keep studying Florida divorce statutes and file my motions.
Sorry to write so much. I had my surgery at lpm yesterday and I'm still under the effects of the meds they used for surgery and then have to take meds every 4 hours the next four days.
Thank you for listening. I started out writing to find out about you & ended up about me. I'm sorry. Please let me know how you are doing.
Phyllis

quote:Originally posted by PoppyQueen

Thanks, Dave. I'm pretty scared right now. Up until next Tuesday I will continue taking about 8 Vics pills daily. I hope there is minor, really minor withdrawals at worst because I have to work the next day, only part time, but still I gotta go to work. Maybe I should reschedule for a Friday so I have the weekend off? It's really hard to imagine no Vicoprofen. I'm also on Effexor, an anti-depressant and I hope I can stay on that along with the suboxone. I know you shouldn't cold turkey anti-depressants.[?]

PQ

[LSUtigers]

Anthony:

I am studying to be a board certified addiction professional & your post stuck out for a curious reason?

How long have you been taking the Percocet? If you are only taking it 3-4 times a day, that isn't very much & you can get off of that amount easily yourself.

I'm not a doctor yet but when I had to stop taking my pain meds after a car wreck due to an unplanned (but wanted) pregnancy, my doctor just told me to take it every 8 hours, 3 times a day, then every 8 hours 2 a day and then 1 pill a day and then l every other day & then I was done. No detox med was needed or anything.

The main concern when people stop any medication cold turkey is triggering a seizure. The part of your brain that is the "pleasure" part can be triggered by anything the body or mind thinks is pleasurable: sex, food, medications, etc.

I had a seizure after my ex-husband gave me a towel to throw up in that had cleaning products in it. It was one of the towels he used to detail his Corvette with. It supposedly had been washed but I had an instant seizure without having the towel close to my mouth for even 30 seconds. I had inhaled just before throwing up in the towel and that was long enough of breathing in that my system got too much of the cleaning agents. The neurologist diagnosed it as a "seizure of unknown and suspicious origins". I was unconscious for several days and therefore couldn't help the people in the ER with treating me. There were parts I could hear, yet, my body couldn't move, nor could I hold any bodily functions it. Yet, if I "soiled" the pad in my bed, I couldn't smell it or feel it. I only knew it if I heard a nurse or physician mention to get an aide to help clean me up.

I remember one day a couple of people (young) who were bathing me and one of them said, "I hope I die before I get this old. How old do you think this woman is? 90's? His friend said, "80's at least". I was in my early 40's. They had removed all my mirrors in my room but once I awakened I could see by the look of my hands and arms that I was in BAD shape. 4 of the 5 days I appeared to be in a coma, I could actually hear everything and if my eyes were open I could see everything & I later on detailed what clothing the person was wearing the first time they came in my room. I still remember the 3 words the neurologist told the nurse when he stuck his head out the door: lamp, mobile, daisy. He later asked me if I heard the 3 words and I repeated them back & I later told him exactly what he had on and what time he was there: at 7:37pm and he left at 8:03pm. He just stood there and said it was very unusual to have the type seizure I did and the severity of it yet have at moments photographic memories of things I heard or saw.

The only pain I felt was the lumbar puncture when I was first in the ER. I can remember hearing a scream and then I realized it was me.

Seizures leave you very confused and with short-term memory loss than in some patients is permanent.
The seizure medications like Trileptal had severe side effects for many patients. So many of the neurologist patients that he had decided to lessen by 50% the recommended amount to see if it lessened the side effects and still worked on the patient. Dilantin works well on seizures but can cause women to have facial hair and look somewhat masculine so they can women off of it quickly, then you start moving up the scale to Trileptal, then Depakote, etc. I couldn't get to Trileptal. It was like being totally drunk. I couldn't walk, speak correctly, etc. So, the ER neurologist took me off of it completely.

Given my seizure was determined to be a one-time incident, they decided I could stay off the meds, on the condition I go to the ER if I had certain symptoms on the list they gave me. I couldn't drive for two months. In some states, if a person has a seizure they lose their driver's license for l0 years.

My point is this: talk to your pharmacist and ask them what type of regiment they would recommend to wean yourself off the medication. People stop taking Percocet all the time if they've only been on it a short time.

After my appendix ruptured I was on a morphine drip and then dilaudid for a month and they told me after my pills ran out I could just stop. I asked about withdrawal and they said they didn't expect any problems. However, just to be sure and safe, since I had already had a seizure I talked to my pain specialist who basically said the same thing but instead she gave me a prescription for butalbital to prevent seizures.

Butabital is the drug of choice in many rehabs places to detox patients. They get a large amount and then are tapered off. It depends on what the patient was taking and how long. I went to rehab for a drug assessment and I only had Fioricet in my system for a headache and I was told I could go. But, since I stayed to get an assessment and in order for insurance to pay my bill ($45,000 per month) they had to diagnose me with something. The physician then wrote a Rx for four 10mg Valiums per day. I refused it, telling him I was not there to get hooked on valium only to have to detox from it. He got annoyed but he respected me.

I just had surgery yesterday and I'm still on medication so I'm sorry if this post sounds a little jumbled.

i just wanted to let you know the amount of Percocet you are taking is a normal dose. Many people take larger amounts by Rx, depends on why they are taking it.

So, check first with your pharmacist, you might be able to slowly stop without being put on another med. (my point in that is for some patients, a pill is a pill....it's the habit of taking a pill they are addicted to & not always the medicine. Sort of like, people having a habit of anything they do on a regular basis: coffee, tv, sex, etc.)

Take care & stay safe.
Phyllis




quote]Originally posted by ANSFAN17

Hi All

Just a question I hope someone that is or has been on Suboxone can answer.

I have an my first appt for Suboxone therapy on Monday. I know that you have to be in mild to moderate withdrawl before your first dose.

Can anyone tell me when I should take my last pill in order to make this as painless as possible? I take about 1 percocet 10/325 every six hours.

I tried to call the Drs office today when I thought of this and they were closed today due to some seminar or something and I don't want to screw this up.

Any replies would be appreciated....

Thanks

Anthony
[/quote]

[pill-layer]

POPPYQUEN......by your doctor not putting you in a program of some sort, or even trying to control your recovery, that he didnt do anything bout the alchohol ( which I seriously doubt you even told him ) then it looks as if you have sought out , another pill doctor, and the sparmacy I use, wlgreens , info on suboxone, says that the alchohol is a depressant and that deaths have occured.

Keep drinking and you will find out I guess.....but your advice , is classic addict, and your behavior , and lack of desire to even seek any of the mental or moral, support shows your lack of desire to even get help......Just taking suboxone is a cure....its only treatment for weithdrawls, and AGAIN, EVEN THE SUB. SALESMEN WILL TELL THE DOCTORS AND OUR CLASS, THAT WITHOUT TREATMENT THEIR IS LITTLE TO NO SUCCESS, WITH THE SUBOXONE ALONE........SO AS A LIFETIME ADDICT, DO YOU REALLY BELIEV YOU CAN KICK THIS BY YOURSELF? iF YOU DO THATS GREAT, BECAUSE YOU WILL DEFINITELY BE THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE.......AND I REALLY HOPE YOU DO, ESP. SINCE ITS EVEN MORE OF AN UPHILL BATTLE WITHOUT ANY KIND OF SUPPORT.

GOOD LUCK

[LSUtigers]

quote:Originally posted by gregb

OK, Here is my problem. First off, I think you are all good people at heart for taking time to help strangers.
After back surgery in 1999, I suffer from back pains. Starting in 2002 my doctor prescribed Endocet for pain. I have been taking them prett.y regularly since then. A 30 pill bottle will last about 15 - 20 days, and I only take the pills at night, since I am a contractor, and have no desire to cut off a hand because I was drowsy
How can I tell if this has becoma an addiction? I think that the very fact that I ask the question tells me that perhaps it already has.
I should also say that I have tried to skip going to the doctor by purchasing Ultracet online instead of the Endocet from the doctor. I did not want him to think I was hooked. Again, that is probably a big sign that I am.
What am I, normal for trying to eliminate pain, or addicted to pain killers, or possibly both?

I'll try to make my answer quick, I'm recovering from surgery.
People always try to avoid pain...that's normal.
Many people feel guilty even taking a legally rx'd pain medicine due to how much negative publicity they get. But, taken as Rx'd and for true pain, they are very safe, effective and addiction is a very low possiblity.
There is pseudo-addiction which is when a person appears to be doctor shopping or focusing on their medication if they are being "under" treated for their pain and they become desperate to ease their pain. (solution: talk openly to your doctor or ask for a referral to a pain specialist)
Tolerance: when your body needs more of anything (caffeine, medication of all kinds, etc.) to achieve the same result of affect the person felt when they first took the drug.
Dependence: when your body is dependent upon a substance or the body starts withdrawal symptoms: such as we need air or we start gasping(sound obvious once you think of it), medication. It is entirely normal for people who are on medication to need more as time goes by. That only means their body is dependent on it...it is not addiction.
Addiction: is when a person has no need for the medication/substance and they spend an enormous amount of time thinking about the medication/substance and an enormous amount of time trying to get it and also being afraid of running out of it...(such as feeling panic if they only have 10 left).

I hope this information helps you. I've had to take medications for a long time due to 2 c-sections, removal of a tumor (benign, thankfully), skin cancer surgery, ruptured appendix surgery, being rear-ended 3 times since 1995.

I'm currently on Kadian (sustained release morphine) and Actiq (instant release fentanyl) for breakthrough pain when the Kadian isn't lasting l2 hours.

NOTE: many people are given a long-acting pain med like OxyContin, Kadian, Extended release morphine and it doesn't like l2 hours if their pain level is really high that day. So, many pain specialist (and it should be a physician who deals with patients who are either terminally ill, have cancer or any other condition that is CHRONIC and ONGOING, not acute, short-term) will prescribe a 2nd medication for "breakthrough" pain.

I stop and start my med and take them PRN (meaning "as needed for pain). Some days I need to take it as prescribed such as right now when my pain is 24/7. But, on days when my pain level is very low I don't need the breakthrough pain and sometimes not even the long lasting pain med as I will not drive when taking it. It doesn't affect me but my Mom was killed by a drunk driver and I just won't take a chance on hurting someone else or myself just because I want my medication right then.

Good luck, Phyllis

[LSUtigers]

quote:Originally posted by mom@home

I have bee addicted...it is so hard to use that word. I dont want to admit it to lortab and oxycodone for over 4 years, my bottom point was yesterday, I ran out of my oxycodone 5's that I am to take 2 every 4 hours I went through 360 in 12 days, my husband takes them every once in a while as well and seems to think nothing of it. My question is if the drug fiorcet will help with the w/d symptoms or if there is any herbal relief. I have a appt in 7 days, and really am thinking of cxling it if I feel better......Please any info will help. Thank you

Hi,
I haven't read too many posts this morning as I'm recovering my outpatient surgery and I still have some mental fogginess from the pre-op and post-op drugs. But, here goes.
I am studying to be a board-certified addiction specialist. I was in physical therapy and ended up changing to pharmacy after my back was injured after I was rear-ended at 45mph. I then changed from the pharmacy program to the addiction program for two reasons: first, with my back I just don't think I can stay on my feet all day long and second, with addiction programs (ranging from certificat to doctorate) I will be in a relatively newer field and have more job opportunities that appeal to me.
My main reason, though, is to help good people who ended up on the wrong path. I went to rehab for a drug assessment after being in the hospital 3 times (ruptured appendix, then complications from the peritonitis caused by going 20 hours with the ruptured appendix and then the third hospitalization after I was given a towel to get sick in by my now-ex husband that had some sort of inhalants and solvents in it that caused an instant seizure in front of my ex who walked out of our bedroom & didn't check on me until the next day. I was unconscious and laying in my own bodily fluids, blood, and vomit). My seizure is listed as "seizure of unknown or suspicious circumstances" by the neurologist. 2 months after the seizure my ex filed for divorce. (odd to be told by your attorney who is a former state prosecutor that my ex might have tried to kill me). He didn't call 9ll when I had the seizure nor the next day when he came in our bedroom. He DID, though, give me a bath.
To make my point: he used my 3 hospitalizations to claim he was divorcing me due to my drug use. I was kicked out of my home, lost my kids, and given $1,000 per month to live on. And him? He got our $500,000 home, the kids, and the six-figure salary that was remaining after my $12,000 was taken out. His attorney is married to a Judge who presides in the same courthouse as the Judge who presided over my divorce AND our Judge presided over my ex's attorney's divorce 15 years ago. (does anyone smell anything fishy here?)
At the rehab in which I only had Fioricet in my system and had only taken 4 tablets in 30 days, my ex managed to find out through our insurance company where I was trying to hide from him and told them I was addicted to drugs & since he ran a region of almost 400 drug stores, he knew exactly which drugs to say I was taking. I ended up being diagnosed as a victim of domestic violence and they treated me for that at this health center which treats addictions of all kind. I was released to a women's shelter. After being counseled and treated there, I was released. I never realized I was a victim of DV, I just thought it was my husband's mood swings, or me being over sensitive, etc.
By the end of the divorce this year, HE is being diagnosed as a sociopathic abuser and I was given permission in my divorce papers by the Judge (who had been given 10 years of my medical records) to take any medication that was medically necessary including narcotics of any level.
So, I decided to help people by being an addiction specialist. I have been on both sides of the desk: as a rehab patient and as a chronic pain patient. As I think I mentioned, I'm recovering right now from outpatient surgery yesterday. So, I think I would be an excellent person for someone to talk to about their concerns. I will be able to tell them that I literally have been in a rehab as a patient and now as an employee.
Too many people are afraid to get help for fear of judgment from the very people who are there to help them. And sadly, there are people who works with substance abusers who as one of the rehab people put it: "tainted people". I immediately reported her to the owner of the health center who is a physician and former substance abuser himself. He kicked his habit while in college but we all really liked him because he understood people's stories.
No one chooses to be addicted to pain medication. Period.
People are confused about the difference between: addiction, pseudo-addiction, tolerance, and dependency.
The rate of people with true pain that take narcotics (even C2) who become addicted is very low. I've been taking them off & on for years and can stop & start. But, when you have surgery for your ruptured appendix, skin cancer, a breast tumor the size of a golf ball imbedded into your pectoral muscle: then I didn't have any choice about taking the pain medication.

The worst drug in my opinion for getting high are the anti-seizure drugs like Trileptal. I ended up going off of it as it was like being drunk: I couldn't walk, couldn't speak properly, think properly, etc. My neurologist eventually took his patients to 50% of the recommended dosage as they were all having the same side effect. Men/women;height/weight, etc. made no differenct. It was the same dosage for all that had the same side effects.

Butabital is used a lot in rehab for the prevention of seizures due to withdrawal. The rehab place I went, the physician gave orders for me to have 40 mg of Valium per day. I looked at him like he was stupid and refused it. I had only had 2 Fioricet in 30 days & he wanted me on that much Valium.

By the time I was in rehab I had had so much pain medication that I literally was sick of taking it. And the side effects and the money, etc. Not to mention friends warning that I'd become an addict if I took even ONE oxycontin, etc.

I never realized how bad the cocaine addiction is until I was in rehab. Doctors, lawyers, police officers, teachers, etc. were all there, Celebrities,(some of who brought their personal trainer with them who trained them while they both detoxed...weird)

My goal in life is to help others. If I can help just ONE person (hopefully many more than that) be able to take their medications properly or not at all, depending on their situation, then I will consider my life to have meaning & purpose.

I sit here sucking on my fentanyl lollipop and I hate it; the taste and the dizziness: but I tried skipping a dose of my meds last night and I was in so much pain I couldn't take it. About 60 percent of the rehab patients I met got hooked on prescription narcotics due to medical reasons just like mine.

So, there I was driving to the pharmacy with my two kids, in my BMW, looking like a chic soccer Mom and the only difference between me and the "movie addicts" (meaning how the movie typically portray them) is mine were considered medically necessary and had a prescription. I found it annoying to here people in rehab who had 3-4 doctors a month writing them 120 OxyContin or Kadian (morphine) at a time and acting like they were better than the street people.

I think every person has a unique story to tell and I have found the people on this forum interesting, intelligent, kind & compassionate.

I do believe everyone on this forum can achieve their goals. Recognizing a problem is half the solution.

I am looking forward to getting to know the regulars (and non) here on this forum and hope to learn from you so I can help others and also keep myself from doing something stupid.
There was a posted sign in the hospital lobby:

"one is too many and one thousand is not enough".

That pretty much sums it up.

Kindest regards to all,
Phyllis

[PoppyQueen]

Good morning Pill-Layer, I hope you're feeling better. Yes, I swear on whatever my doc knows I drink. Why would I lie to you? I don't know you and you don't know me. My doc. is a psychiatrist and I talk to him about my addiction. I also read about the subject and I post on this board-often.

I am not one for going to NA or AA or a group thing--it's just not for me. I'm struggling to be better, just like you. I hope you're not wishing me failure!

You keep doing what works for you and I will do the same. Have a great, peaceful day!


PQ
Last painkiller used: 9/25/05
Suboxone started 9/26/05

[mom@home]

Hey all-
Well it has been 29 hours since my last oxy 5 could you please tell me what to expect. I did taper myself off 1o/day....9/day....8/day and so on down till 1/day and let me tell you i about cried when i took the last one whil my kids were trick or treating. i want so bad to ask my husband for help but he took mine every now and then and since I have cronic back problems he sees no harm in it. I have quit before....only 9 days and I relapsed and i did not taper, That was hell. and I give all of you respect for doing it, when i did it then my husband asked at the worst of my w/d " do you want me to find some?" so I'm afraid to tell him what i dont understand is how i got to this point, I had major spinal fusion,that i was sent home on IBU 800,OTC ****!!!!! I have 2 metal rods fused from neck to tailbone and they told me by my 20's I would be on pain mgt, I am 25 and want to know is there a safe drug i can take? or being an addict, does that mean nothing is safe? I have a 4 year old and a 19 month old. please any advise, I am hanging by a thread on your every word.

[pill-layer]

quote:Originally posted by PoppyQueen

Good morning Pill-Layer, I hope you're feeling better. Yes, I swear on whatever my doc knows I drink. Why would I lie to you? I don't know you and you don't know me. My doc. is a psychiatrist and I talk to him about my addiction. I also read about the subject and I post on this board-often.

I am not one for going to NA or AA or a group thing--it's just not for me. I'm struggling to be better, just like you. I hope you're not wishing me failure!

You keep doing what works for you and I will do the same. Have a great, peaceful day!


PQ
Last painkiller used: 9/25/05
Suboxone started 9/26/05

POPPYQUEEN....I never said I felt bad ( I assume you are saying I was in a bad mood ) I have on more than one occasion, wished you well....I cant understand why you wont seek real treatment. AA/NA isnt for anyone, noone wants to go, but it saves lives.....You are choosing tha absolute most unsuccesful way to try and quit drugs.....it would appear to me that you are setting yourself up for failure, even the suboxone drug rep , for this area has told us that without classes and meetings , he would rather it not be prescribed....becauswe the success rate is almost zero....it means , nearly no person can or does kick this habit with the sub. alone.....

You are still thinking like an addict, instead of like a person who wants to get clean, so the sub took away all your withdrawl....WHATS GOING TO HELP WITH YOUR MENTAL CRAVINGS????????? You need to find a group of like minded people , and sit and talk, and please dont give me that " NA/AA its just not for me......WHY IS THAT , are you a better addict than anyone else....NO ...You just arent willing to go the extra mile to help ensure your success.

Look at your pattern,....you wont seek councilling even though its reccomended, you are hoping maybe , you are one of those peole that gets to stay on it for life, and you are also drinking while on it , even though you KNOW YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TOO.

IF YOU CAN HONESTLY TELL ME THAT ISNT , THE WORDS AND THOUGHTS OF AN ADDICT , TRYING TO STAY ON A GOOD FEELING , i WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE.


YOU THINK I AM BEING HETEFULL OR RUDE.....I AM NOT!!!!! I JUST WANT YOU TO LIVE....AND THE RECOVERY YOU THINK YOU HAVE, IS MERELY THE MEDICINE, MAKING YOU FEEL OK. When you are really ready to quit , I trully feel you will seek the neccesary counsel you SO DESPERETLY NEED
AND I HOPE YOU FIND SUCCESS BEFORE SOMETHING TERRIBLE FINDS YOU.....THIS ISNT JUST SOMETHING ELS TO TAKE LIGHTLY AND DO WHAT YOU WANT......THERE COMES A TIME WHEN WE ALL NEED TO DO WHAT IS ABSOLUTELY NECCESARY.


I really hope you succeed, but I fear a different outcome, until you quit lying to yourself and face the facts....we as addicts , cant take drugs , because we become addicted to easily.


NOT HARSH , JUST STRAIGHT UP......I DONT KNOW YOU ....BUT I REALLY DONT WANT YOU TO DIE.......AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THAT COMES FROM , ITS BECAUSE i AM A PASTOR , WHO IS TRYING TO GET HIS LIFE BACK ....SO I HAVE A HEART FOR PEOPLE, AND ONLY WANT THE BEST FOR THEM.

I LOST MY CHURCH ( GAVE IT UP) BECAUSE OF THIS ADDICTION.....TOMMORROW NIGHT i GET IT BACK, AND MY HEART IS REALLY ONLY FOR YOUR BEST INTEREST.....AND IF YOURS IS TOO ....YOU WILL SEEK OUT SOME KIND OF MENTAL EMOTIONAL AND MORAL HELP.....REMEBER THE SUB ISNT GOING TO BE THERE FOREVER!!!!!!!!! THEN WHAT? PEOPLE IN THESE GROUPS HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT , AND CAN HELP YOU GET THERE TOO!

GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

[PoppyQueen]

HI MOM, I take Tramadol when I'm really in pain. It's an OK drug. I try to stretch when I'm in real pain. When I was having my serious headaches, I used to go for acupuncture in addition to going to a chiropractor and of course, taking pain killers. I think the acupuncture really worked best. Have you tried Yoga?

Those pain patches you buy at the drugstore (Absorbine Jr., Ben Gay, etc.) work pretty good too. I know we are so used to just popping pills when in pain. Deep tissue massage is also helpful.

Are you sure you're an addict or are you dependant upon pain medicine to help your pain. Do you take more than you need? Do you take it for mood changes, for celebration, because your angry, etc?

I hope you find some relief soon! At least take a hot bath.

Poppy

[iknowit]

SO, i looked to this board for a little suport, and it almost makes me want to go get high!
No one has replied to my posts exept to take it the wrong way or to misunderstand what i'm saying?
Has anybody read or understood anything I posted?
Agree? disagree?
threres aa, na, suboxne, rehab, cold turkey......
WHAT WE ALL HAVE IN COMMON, IS ADDICTION.
who cares who does what we are all here too drop some lines of support or frustration, QUIT JUDGEING!
Depeding on response this may be my last post, i shouldn't have to try so hard to get support, to have somone understand and or care what I'm saying.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL, also learn to lighten up just because we are addicts doesn't mean we have to have addiction be our life.
LAUGH, it will help.

[chrish1]

Poppy, I guess I misspoke when I said I wasn't taking any drugs. What I meant was I wasn't taking any mood altering drugs. The only thing I take is Neurontin, and it has been extremely effective, especially for nerve pain. It is really a miracle drug since (for me) there seem to be no side effects and it doesn't make me "high" at all. It just takes away the pain. I have taken Tramadol in the past, and in my case at least, it definitely got me "high." I'm sorry to hear about all of your pain.

Thanks for your congrats on my 22 days (23 days now). Am I having any urges? You're darn right I am! But, I accept that as part of the desease. Some days are better than others - it has been somewhat of a roller coaster ride. This is the nature of true recovery though - riding out the tough times and getting through with the support of the NA group and my "higher power." I am no match against the desease. It beats me every time. However, if I have the strength of my higher power and unified recovering addicts, I can beat the desease. I am taking it day by day. There is no short cut IMO to recovery. I think we need to experience all of the feelings we have been neglecting, and ride through the tough times, and grow as human beings. Becoming human again takes effort, but I believe the effort will pay off. It really isn't so bad to feel sad or angry. It is liberating to acknowledge those feelings and grow as a human without relying on drugs. Am I having pill dreams? You bet I am. I starting having them in the first week off painkillers, and I expect I will have them. They are actually considered to be a good sign to the recovering adddict if you wake up with a bad feeling about the dream. It shows that you really want to quit and put forth the effort.

I too was skeptical that it is a desease we all have, for a very long time. However, now that I am experiencing recovery and combatting urges, I am convinced that it really is. It is a different kind of desease though, and I think recovery starts once the addict really starts to understand the nature of our desease. Once you start to understand it, you can combat it. It is very cunning and mysterious, and we addicts convince ourselves of many false things to feed that desease. I don't know how to explain it better than that (at this time anyway). You are right it is a choice, but in order to choose the addict must understand the nature of the problem and pattern first. That's why the NA prayer is: God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change (our desease), the courage to change the things we can (choosing not to feed the desease), and the wisdom to know the difference. This is really extremely powerful if you break it down and say it every day. I'm not a very religious person, but I am becoming very spiritual. There is a big difference. Your desease led you to try hydro all over even though you knew the consequences. It is a desease of mind and spirit, but it CAN be arrested. I'm so glad you've taken the first step in recognizing your addiction. Suboxone is a great start for you. I hope you take it the full 9 yards because I can tell you have a good heart, and you want to arrest the issue completely. Good luck, God bless. Chrish

[iknowit]

Posted - 11/03/2005 : 00:37:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO, i looked to this board for a little suport, and it almost makes me want to go get high!
No one has replied to my posts exept to take it the wrong way or to misunderstand what i'm saying?
Has anybody read or understood anything I posted?
Agree? disagree?
threres aa, na, suboxne, rehab, cold turkey......
WHAT WE ALL HAVE IN COMMON, IS ADDICTION.
who cares who does what we are all here too drop some lines of support or frustration, QUIT JUDGEING!
Depeding on response this may be my last post, i shouldn't have to try so hard to get support, to have somone understand and or care what I'm saying.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL, also learn to lighten up just because we are addicts doesn't mean we have to have addiction be our life.
LAUGH, it will help.

[pthelps]

Hi Mom@home ,
Hi honey .If you have already been more than 29 hours without pain pills you have already gone through the worst part .Are you addicted and take them to get high or do you take more than prescribed because you are in so much pain and you can't control the pain ? There is this thing called pseudo addiction (sp ) ( you can check it out on the net ).It makes a person do things like an addict because they can not find enough pain relief .

I tapered off over a month to get off of pain meds by choice because physical therapy helped with the pain (hence the name pthelps ) . Here are some of my symptoms : hot and cold sweats ,the runs ,throwing up , crawling skin ,anxiety , restless legs ,anger and meanness , depression ,no sleep ,Whole body aches and maybe a few more .It was never any worse than a bad flu ( the real flu not a virus the real thing ) or strep throat .

What helped me besides ativan its like valium is muscle relaxers , and anti inflamitories a good multi vitamin and ,drinking at least 64 ozs of water to help wash away the toxins from the pain meds . Stretching light exercise and walking helped with anxiety and restless legs . i found coffe cruda at the health food store and it helped help me sleep a little .You might want to call a homeopathic dr. to help or even a herbalist .I dont really know what will help more than just a little .

IThe reason i took pain pills was because of two enterior cervical disc fussion surgeries and the pain tthat goes with spinal surgeries and nerve damage.It has been one thing after the other since than . I posted some of my story on about page29 or so on this site .. I can't imangine the pain you must be in fused from your neck to your tail bone . I know of this pain site where there is a lot of compassionate people . If you want the address email me you can do that through this site . or you can give me your address or I can find out how to email you through this site if you want the address . I have a son that is about your age and I can't even imangine him in your spot expecially with kids .Can you find someone to help you with them .

I am here if you need someone to talk to ,to help you thruogh this difficult time .
Hope to here from you soon . pthelps

[pill-layer]

quote:Originally posted by iknowit

Posted - 11/03/2005 : 00:37:01
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SO, i looked to this board for a little suport, and it almost makes me want to go get high!
No one has replied to my posts exept to take it the wrong way or to misunderstand what i'm saying?
Has anybody read or understood anything I posted?
Agree? disagree?
threres aa, na, suboxne, rehab, cold turkey......
WHAT WE ALL HAVE IN COMMON, IS ADDICTION.
who cares who does what we are all here too drop some lines of support or frustration, QUIT JUDGEING!
Depeding on response this may be my last post, i shouldn't have to try so hard to get support, to have somone understand and or care what I'm saying.

GOD BLESS YOU ALL, also learn to lighten up just because we are addicts doesn't mean we have to have addiction be our life.
LAUGH, it will help.

IKWOWIT....I dont have any urges to drink, But zi do think about the pills from time o time......The support groups help a bunch with that par of my ecovery. As far as laughing ...I finally can laugh, and have fun....But this is very serious buisness for me, because I los more than I can ever get back....I lost my farm , my church , and about 30 grand of my cash, just in a matter of a couple three years.

If you think I am the one judging, I really do hate that my posts seem that way....because they arent intended that way at all. I have had a couple people I knew die from pills Just this past weekend,for me its ok to laugh, but I have to be very carefull to not take this recovery , too lightly.....if I do I will be right back at square one.

If you are having physical cravings...i.e. withdrawl symptoms, then yes You may need a higher dose of the sub.......but if you are having mental or emotional cravings....then you may want to seek a group of like minded peopl, to help with advice , on what they did to get over that part of the addiction,at least how to gain a little self control over it.

I wouldnt leave the Board if I were you, as that is only going to hurt you more than help. One thing people learn about me very. people that know me , would tell you I am a big ole kid that loves to Joke and play....but RIGHT NOW WE ARE ALL IN THE FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES....AND THAT TO ME IS VERY SERIOUS BUISNESS.....I dont want to be in rehab this time next year saying " well this is my 5th relapse" , so I am very very narrow minded thinking, with regards to my recovery....I thought some would benifit from what little experience I have had thus far.....I went from 30 perks a day, to no desire for the pills physically, and very little desire for them mentally.....and when those mental craving come, I havbe a likeminded, like situation support group to help me through.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR RECOVERY, I PRAY THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS LAUGH....AND EVEN ONE DAY LOOK BACK AND LAUGH AT ALL YOU HAVE OVERCOME

[PoppyQueen]

IKNOWIT: Don't leave. We're all in the same boat. No one is judging you. I have urges, but not too many because I think I am taking the correct amount of Suboxone. A nice perk about Suboxone is I sleep long and deeply. We kinda got lost in this forum due to LSUTigers friggin' novel (what the heck was she on?) so everyone can kinda skip over page 49. You're young and I wish you the best because my addiction started in my teens and I'm now 50 and still fighting it. I hope you win this time for good.

Pill-layer: I guess you really hit rock bottom by losing $30k, your home, and your church. I hope you can recover all of these things through whatever method works best for you. What works for me is staying on this board and trying to help people and I also experience moments of clarity in what some of the others experience.

A dear friend of ours is going through a severe cocaine addiction. He just lost his wife (also a dear friend), and is in to the tune of over $30k--up his nose. He thinks he can just help himself and has removed himself from all our lives. We are very sad for him and can only sit back and watch. He doesn't have the luxury of finding a pill to help him over his addiction.

So you guys are my "group" even though most come and go, I will rely on the few that stay.

Have a great opiate-free day!


PQ
Last painkiller used: 9/25/05
Suboxone started 9/26/05

[Arkie88]

I agree that no one should leave this site. Whether you agree or disagree with what is posted you can learn from both. I have had nerve pain for the last 20 months after my 2nd back surgery failed at the age of 35. I developed my addiction to percocet really after my Dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer this summer and he quickly died soon after.

I talked to my Dr about the pain meds and he was cool with it. I got caught going to another doc for percs. He said it happens. He prescribed a new drug called LYRICA which has been REMARKABLE. Neurontin did nothing for me - this Lyrica is a 2x a day pill and my sciatic nerve pain seems all but gone after only 3 days. I only get a handful of percs and a large supply of Ultram which I have tried to abuse already. I go to my 2nd NA meeting tomorrow night and I feel like I have let people down.

However I have made progress going from 30 percs a day cutting way down. First step .... Baby steps. The board helps .... stay with it. If you have nerve pain ask your Doc about Lyrica. It may be a miracle cure for me.

[Hunterdog]

Long time no post. PROGRESS UPDATE

It's been nearly 4 months since I quit my consumption of anywhere from 10 to 20 Norco's / day. I did it for well in excess of 3 years on a daily basis. They controlled my life and everything in my life.

I have been clean since July 7, 2005 and I've gotta tell you all, while it does feel good to be clean, there is still the alure of wanting to take "just a few" for that burst of energy the afford.

For me, the "restless legs" was the worst part of the withdrawal process followed close behind by difficulty sleeping. All that is gone now and there is notable improvement on an almost daily basis.

Stick with it everybody who is trying to shake this addiction. There is hope.



Hunterdog

[mpvt]

Hey way to go Hunterdog.Your an inspiration for those who are trying to get their addiction under control.Hang in there......Dave

[chrish1]

Arkie, Thanks for acknowleding that Ultram (aka, Tramadol) is subject to abuse and addictive. Don't listen to the Doctors who have been brainwashed by the Pharm companies on Ultram. It is addictive. It is just as bad as any of the painkillers. Do your homework and check the blogs on it. People are in misery over Tramadol addiction. I'm really proud of you recognizing your addiction and making the first step towards recovery, NA meetings. Keep coming back. Do 90 meetings in 90 days. It takes REAL courage to accept the help of your peer addicts. Good luck. I have a feeling you are heading in the right direction! Chrish

[anna311]

Hi, I need some advice. I have a dear friend who is addicted to vicodin. He's up to 16-18 a day. He admits he has a problem and needs to quit. He tried once last week but couldn't make it thru the w/d. He was honest to tell me the truth about his problem and that he can't function without them. He told me he can't bring anyone into his life right now with this problem and I understand that and told him I would still be there if he needs someone. I live a couple hours away from him so it's hard to check on him. I told him how important he was to me and i'll help anyway I can. It's hard to sit here and not do anything though. I know you can't make someone quit taking drugs/alcohol if they don't want to but is there anyway i can tell him to try again or that he should. Thanks for any help

[PoppyQueen]

Hi Anna, you haven't mentioned if your friend wants to quit. If he does many people on this board, including myself, are on the Suboxone treatment. Read some of the Suboxone subjects on this site and print them out for him. But it helps if he wants to quit, not just make it to the next score.

To BSGJunkie: After youu dissolve your sub. drink some water. Then suck on some hard candy or gum, or even better, rinse with mouthwash. I can't comment on the sexual aspect as I'm a woman, but I think arouusal is a problem. Maybe some man can comment--guys? When I started my nose was seriously itchy, like heroin junkie itching. That went away. I'm still having poop problems. After all, Suboxone is a narcotic so there are some physical similarities to other narcotic painkillers.

Hunterdog: you talk of restless legs. Since I quit my vics my legs are not so much restless but painful when I'm sleeping. I wonder if that is part of withdrawal (it's been 6 weeks) or just my bad lower back/hips. Are your legs painful, too? Congrats on 4 months. Having quit before, a few times really, those urges don't go away entirely. It's like missing your best friend, however bad that friend was, you miss them, and when they're around you want them!

Arkie: I'm glad you found a good nerve drug. Lyrica--I have to look that one up. You say you abuse Ultram. I have Tramadol (same thing?) and I don't understand why someone would abuse them. They don't do anything in the way of making me high. I just get seriously drowsy. I guess because I take it while on Sub.

Anyway, glad to see many appearances tonight. Anyhone reading that book "A Million Little Pieces?" Wow, now there's quite a story of addiction (and recovery). It's currently on the best seller list.

Another day down. Have a great sleep all!

PQ
Last painkiller used: 9/25/05
Suboxone started 9/26/05

[chrish1]

From Websters:
disease
n : an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning
A condition or tendency, as of society, regarded as abnormal and harmful.

Remember the disease can be arrested!

Good luck, God bless.

[iknowit]

Thank you for finally replying. I didn't want to quit the board, it just that no one was replying to my posts, and i was getting frustrated.
anyway, sorry, I have issues with attention!LOL
I've been on suboxne 1 month with one relapse.
so far i haven't touched pain killers in 3 1/2 weeks. I feel great, My life has seriously changed for the better, but I'm haveing urges.
It's really hard to explain, because I actually feel better with the sub. than the viks!
I was at an average of 15 a day and spending hundreads of dollers a week. AND FEELING LIKE SH*T!!!
It got to the point that I relized I'm chasing a high thats never coming back? but I'm starting to miss it ?? I hate this so much!
What bothers me most about NA is that it seems like everyone apart of it talks like there in a cult or somthing, please don't take offense , I want to be honest.
Thanx for listening guys, i really do apprecite this!
good night, [V]

[Arkie88]

PQ: Yes Ultram and Tramadol are the same thing. If you take like 8 at one time you can get kind of an out of body experience. I am officially off of percocet although I can get more - which I do and dont want to do - The Lyrica (Just FDA Approved) has made my pain go from a 8 regularly to a 3. AMAZING! Hopefully i stay away from percs.

I am pretty much at the point now where I know the end is near - I need to quit everything. My NA meeting tonight was good (2nd one) and IKNOWIT i dont know if it was cult like - I just view it as other people who have been through worse than I have and they are there to help me deal with my problem. I used to think I was better than a heroin addict - I'm no better (no worse) just different. An addict is an addict. There's hope for all of us, whether it be sub, NA, prayer, or whatever - the key is to keep talking and helping each other thru it. I hope to be clean by the end of the weekend and ready to face the world again .... wish me luck.

[iknowit]

Arkie,
I wish you luck and may god bless you and all of us here with the strength to move forward from this terrible, awkward turning point in our life. The one great thing we all have in common ,is that not only have we all admited our addiction, but we are not making excuses. We are tackleing our problems.
Most of you are in pain, and I feel for all of you. Fortunatley I do not have to deal with pain, surgery wounds, or any life threatning thing(knock on wood). But in a way it makes me feel even worse because I really have no excuse.
The pain I'm self medicating for is my own personal hell, that I'm realizing dates pretty far back.[:I]
I don't think that NA is a cult literely, but I guess I just get uncomfortable with the way everyone that is apart of it reacts to things. I really don't know how to explain it. I've grown up in meetings. My whole family is 'on' something, mostly heiroin, so beleive me I don't think I am better. I do beleive that an addict is an addict is.....I also live by the serenity prayer.....its other stuff I'm a little uncomfortable with, but I'm tired right now so I hope everyone faces a great day tommorow and finds strength in the night for courage to truley be and love their true self.

[amberleeanne]

quote:Originally posted by waters

). subutex works great and you can get it from a doctor and detox at home or may be even able to go to work as well.

seriously consider getting some help. at least someone there for you if you are going to stick it out at home with nothing. but really, consider trying subutex which costs the same as a detox at a hospital,,maybe even less.
mine was $300. and you can adjust the dose as you need so you can taper yourself off it. its not that addictive itself.

good luck !

mm