[chrish1]

BigB, congrats on your clean time, especially under the circumstances. My heart goes out to you. Any clean day is an accomplishment for a painkiller addict, but it is important to remember that we only need to get one day clean - TODAY. Just for Today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

It does get easier (and better) with time. There will also be challenging times also, so it is important to remember that the painkiller lure is all just a huge lie, and it doesn't lead to anything but emotional, mental, spiritual, and eventually physical destruction. Staying clean is hard at first, but becomes the much better lifestyle as we learn how to live clean. Life becomes much more meaningful as we become able to experience the full spectrum of feelings ranging from love, joy, and happiness to pain and sadness. Eventually, we find that it is best to experience all of these things instead of numbing them as the true love and joy that we experience is intensified in contrast to the "harder" emotions like sadness and anger. We find that we can get through anything with a good support system and a higher power.

Good luck all!

Chrish

[bigb784]

Thank-You En-Opp and congratulations on staying off the Roxi for so long... i can only imagine how good it must feel to be off the stuff for that long.. a feeling i will come to know tho!! Also a thank you to both boricualoca and chrish1, it really means alot for you to take the time and respond.... I am still going strong and each day i find becoming easier and easier to not think about taking another pill. i hope everyone has a happy Easter..... with easter and the wake and funeral coming up i probably will not get a chance to update till wednesday so until then........

[sick0fitall]

Hi guys, I haven't been here in a while but it's good to see there are some success stories as of late. I'm getting close to 9 months without taking a killer... still on suboxone though. Down to .25 mg a day and I'm not sure if I still need them or not (my doctor keeps telling me it will be easy to stop taking this little amount, but I have a huge fear of withdrawls from experience). I just take them because I'll be graduating college in a month and it's been pretty stressful as of late, so I figure I'll stop taking them after I graduate. I don't remember what it feels like to get high anymore, and I think I like it that way... All of the memories I have of painkillers are the ones that slowly destroyed my life. I'd encourage anyone looking for a way out to look up doctors in your area for suboxone. As I posted a few months back, make sure you call every doctor you can because the price of treatment drastically varies by doctor. I pay 150$ a month + 20$ for the script which is not horrible compared to what some of the others are asking. Also, if you started taking painkillers because of a car accident and your claim is still open, the car insuarance pays for this. Anyways, good luck and keep trying.. it gets a lot better with time.

[chrish1]

EN Opp, congrats on your clean time. That is a huge accomplishment - Keep at it, and keep carrying the message of recovery. We can get clean, and most importantly, we can STAY clean.

On Oct. 11, 2005, I decided to seek help for my painkiller addiction through the program of NA. That was my first clean day. The program taught me how to live and enjoy life without the use of painkillers. The 12 steps taught me how to clean house and trust God. I was told that I could believe in God however I wanted and I didn't have to believe in the god I was taught to fear as a child through religion. I choose to believe in a loving and caring God who can help me though any problem or issue clean. Using only will make any problem you have worse. I was then taught to look inside myself at my resentments and to look at my part in those resentments. I was then able to look at my shortcomings and ask HIM to remove them. Then, I was able to clear the wreckage of my past and make amends for the people I hurt with my addiction. NOW, I am able to carry the message to YOU - the message that you too can recover and you can have a life you never imagined. It DOES get better. It takes time, effort, and open mindedness though.

We do recover.

Chrish

[EN OPP]

Thank you to all the people who have helped me through this, I appreciate it so much. I don't believe it's been 29 days since touching an opiate, I couldn't feel better. Physically I'm at 100% and have been for some time now. My mind plays tricks on me once in a while still, but that too in time will go away.

Chrish1 - those are some very wise words, accepting faith into your life during recovery, or at any time is always a great thing. I'm sure it has helped you tremendously since you've been clean for over 2 years now right? Congratulations!

I just wanted to add something about my thought process while I was in full addiction. I felt like I was a "better" person to my loved ones while I was high. Well, I just felt like I loved them more while on the pills lol. Also, it seems that no matter what you do while high (could be sitting at your house all day) seems productive to you. When I first quit, I still thought that way, and it wasn't until recently that I realized during my addiction I was quite irritable to everyone around me and only had my pills on my mind. As far as being productive goes, I didn't do ANYthing that could be classified as productive while addicted. Trust me, after being clean for a while everything positive you do is so much more rewarding because you did it! not your pills...

Hope everyone is doing good on their path to recovery.

[expopper]

Thanks for replying to my post! Ill definitely take a look at that book.
Anyway, i hit my six months yesterday and Im feeling better than when I wrote that.



Remember, nothing is worth your mental health.

[ljm1013]

I started taking my fathers 5mg percocets about 2 years ago. At first it was just on the weekends and then my boyfriend started taking them with me and when we moved in together a year ago we started Monday (cause monday sucked) then we came up with an excuse for Tuesday and so on. So now it has been about over a year of taking them every night when we get home for work. Just at nights though. I never let myself take them during the day. I started having really bad anxiety and panic attacks last summer. I was put on an antidepressant and then i came off of them after i realized it has to be the percs that are making me go crazy.. I read that one of the withdrawals from percs was anxiety. So i think that maybe from taking them just a night is making me withdraw everyday until i take them again at night. I just dont understand cause my boyfriend is fine and im losing myy mind and i have stomach problems etc. I have wanted to come off of these for so long but just kept making excuses and prolonging a week or two at a time. We spend over 800 a month on these stupid things and i just cant do it anymore...mentally, physically or financially. Last night was my first night without having a perc in over a year. Needless to say i got the worst nights sleep and woke up with severe stomach pain. I called my boyfriend and he is FINE! Why me and not him??? I dont understand why im withdrawing so bad when i only took one at night. I would take a 30 and cut it into 4 and me and my boyfriend would split that. So i was only taking 15mg a night. I def. want to stop before it turns into a "only 30mg a night" thing but it just seems wierd that i am withdrawing so badly.

[bigb784]

ljm1013, i feel your pain. I'm just over 2 weeks clean from being on hydrocodone. One of the main reasons i quit was because of the horrible panic and anxiety attacks i would get. They started off far apart but slowly they would happen closer and closer till the point that i wouldnt leave the house. The first 3-5 days were probably the worst for me, when i quit... My stomach was killing me, i had the shakes, my heart rate was high, and i had severe anxiety. 2 weeks later and it is SLOWLY getting better... its not something that can be rushed i've learned. My stomach has calmed down alot but still bothers me time to time. My sleep is getting better but not great... And the panic attacks and anxiety are getting better but are def far from gone.... Those are what i wish would go the most... But it is important for you to stay clean and not to give in....

[ljm1013]

bigb - im so sorry to hear about your father but you are right he is in a better place now. You are a very strong person to stay clean through all of this. I dont know if you started taking the Prozac yet or what. Everyone is different and everyone has different opinions on them but i was on celexa for a month and came off. I just wanted to be off everything. The prozac can also have some nasty symptoms for about a month once you start taking them. And then when you do decide to come off you have to deal with withdrwals. Do what you feel is right i just dont want to see have to go through more pain and suffering with the side effects of anti depressants.

[bigb784]

Thank-you ljm1013. I filled my presciption for the Prozac but after looking through the side effects i decided not to take it. I actually go back in on Monday to see my Dr again, hopefully he'll reccomend therapy or something like that this time instead of another pill. I also def!! do not want to have to go through withdrawals again.. I don't blame you for wanting to be of Celexa either.. If there is a way to deal without pills i am all for it. I hope you are able to stay strong this time and beat your addiction with the Perc's because it does not take long for it to snowball trust me..

[ljm1013]

Just be careful of some doctors. They dont always know what is best for you. If you feel you dont want to take any antidepressants and can get through it yourself then dont let the doctor tell you otherwise. Probably about 90% of the people in here are all in the position they are cause the doc prescribed them painkillers without any warning of what could happen. Doctors these days just want to put a band aid over the situation and not have to deal with actually healing the problem. I stopped telling my doctor about my anxiety cause he kept trying to prescribe me all this medicine and i didnt want it. A website that has helped me A LOT over the months is anxietycentre.com it is like $15 to join and it is worth it. They have a discussion forum for people dealing with anxiety and depression. The people on there are very comforting and lets you know you arent alone....kinda like this one!

[EN OPP]

ljm1013 - I completely agree with you about the doctors, although my case was different, most cases are people with real pain thinking their doctor will prescribe them something only to help them, but ends up destroying them in the long run.
Even-though I obtained all my opiates on the street (as I didn't have pain), my supplier would fulfill my addiction with REAL Rx's from REAL doctors. Now a drug dealer is someone that puts drugs on the street right? Those doctors are doing just that by knowingly prescribing to someone without a need for them.
Anyways, as much as this topic is gets me going, I'm very excited, I have just gone over a month being opiate free and I'm feeling great. Although I have a little cold, I'll take it any day over the dope-sickness I was experiencing 4 weeks ago.

Also for ljm1013, I'm guessing you were taking the roxicodone 30 mg tabs right? Thats what I was on, but on about 150mg daily for over a year. I also started "only at night," the only thing you can do is stop while there is time. If I would of stopped while in your position it would of made a world of difference. I'm sorry to hear you are having bad withdrawals, but they will go away, and with only 15mg a day, they will go away a lot sooner than mine did (about 8 days). Hope I could help...overcoming these drugs is something any of us can do!

[ljm1013]

Yes i was on the Roxies 30 mg. Im now 3 days clean today. Im just surprised im still having issues with my stomach when i wasnt taking that much to begin with. I feel a little better today but im getting leg aches. They are so annoying. Today is tougher than yesterday with the mental part of it just because it is Friday and usually i would be so happy for the weekend to just go home and have a beer and a pill and relax. I keep thinking of what im going to do tonight with no pills and i get depressed. I want to just sleep off this depression.

Congrats En Opp on over a month! I know you had said the physical symptoms went away in about 8 days but how long did it take for the mental part of it to stop. Im just scared it will never go away and that i will never be the person i was before these pills. I keep trying to think of how i socialized and went out partying before pills. Right now it just seems like there is no point in even going out anymore.

[ConcernedDaughter5]

Background - 27 yr old daughter of painkiller user (Vicodine mostly, maybe taking others) of at least 18 years (possibly more). He's been through rehab once, and may have stayed clean for a year or so, but not longer.

About 3 years ago, my father had an affair with a fellow pill user. She brought to the table Valium and Xanax. My parents divorced and they are now together with her 8 yr old daughter. Their pattern seems to be pain meds during the day and then the Valium and Xanax at night.

When he was with my mother (who took care of the money), he was always in good shape. Lately, however, with his use and his new wife's use, they have maxed out all their credit cards and are in danger of losing their home. My father is also missing a lot of work, and they are making a lot of trips to ERs and doctors. My father seems to be ok, but she is having problems with migraines and severely high blood pressure.

My father is doing a lot of drinking at night in addition to the pain meds and he has gained A LOT of weight. He is at least 70 pounds overweight. I am very concerned with the triple threat on his heart - the meds, the alcohol, the food.

I have somewhat come to terms that he may never kick this habit and try not to judge him, and while I worry about his health but cannot control it, my final straw is the stealing. He goes over to people's houses and takes their pain meds replacing htem with Tylenol. This has gone on for years and years. Almost every family member or friend has had their meds stolen. But he is also scamming family members for money now (a grandmother on her deathbed who I very close to), and has in the past joined church groups to go and visit people in the hospital so that he could steal their medications.

Honestly, he was very abusive growing up and a real asshole, but my sister and I have stuck by him. But now, I don't feel like there is much hope. His new wife is in on his scams and this has added fuel to this kind of lifestyle. I'm heartbroken at how he has treated his grandmother who gave him the world and if he won't go to rehab or change, I don't know what kind of relationship we can build because I simply don't trust him. (that and when he's high, he's practically unavailable to speak to - he goes on and on talking about stupid things and you can't get a word in...)

At any rate, I've been burning with anger towards him - my great grandmother recently died and his behavior has just been awful. It's been a few days since his latest scam and my feelings are finally giving way to sadness. I just don't know that I want to have a relationship with him anymore. I feel bad, but he's refused help, and I truly don't know what help will do for him if his wife does not go into treatment as well. In a way, by marrying her, I feel like its sealed his fate....

Any perspective or thoughts on this would be appreciated.

Sad

[EN OPP]

ljm1013 - the first week is very hard, some people say the hardest thing they've ever gone through. But after that it gets a whole lot easier, since you have stomach problems have you tried Immodium AD? It's an OTC medicine and it made my stomach feel a thousand times better during the first few days. If your stomach does not get better in a week I would get it checked out. The only thing that helps the leg aches go away faster is a little excersice and hot soaks in a tub or jacuzzi.
Now, I can relate completely to your depression of not being able to go out and party without your pills, after all I'm 21 years old, live in south florida, and I was used to going out alot. It took me about 2 weeks for me to start enjoying going out with my girlfriend and friends again (it's a slow process). Also, at that 2 week mark alot of energy came back which made it alot easier to have a good time. I can honestly say that now at 33 days clean I enjoy my nights, as well as days, a lot better than when I was on roxies.
Just remember, you can do this!, it's nowhere near impossible, and all the anguish will pass with time so keep your head up.

ConcernedDaughter5 - sorry to hear your father is causing problems for you, it's hard to understand the way someone thinks that is addicted to drugs. After all, I believe the definition of an addict is someone that has no regard for loved ones as well as themselves as long as they get their next high. For that cycle to change, your father must WANT to stop. I ruined almost 2 years of my life, my bank account, and my relationship with some close people to me just to get my pills until I realized what I was doing to myself and the people around me. I'm sorry I don't have much advice, but I just wanted you to know that alot of people are in your or your father's situation, you are not alone!

[clarice2212]

Hi, I have read through several posts and I really admire you for sharing your stories on here. Its great to hear success stories! I am so glad I found this place!!
little background:
I'm 32 and found out a year ago that my dad has been addicted to pain killers and meth and sleeping drugs(maybe more things) for about 15 or more years. The Meth has been the last 10. A year ago our family intervened and he went to rehab. 6 weeks later he came home and appeared to be doing good, except he still acts like he didnt really need to go to rehab..he just "did it because he loves his family and thats what we wanted" (right). Anyway, my question is..how easy is it to get pain killers? My dad has money so he hasnt had to steal so that makes it easier to hide his addictions. I am thinking for sure he is back to taking at least pain killers again. He has depression and insomnia (probably self caused) and I just see him falling back in his old habits. He focuses his energy on trying to act normal instead of fixing his problems. I am sorry to ramble, but my question is just this: how can I find out where he is getting them? How easy is it to get prescription pain killers I know hes had lortab, hydrocodone and oxycodone? My dad said (when we confronted him) that drugs act different in his body, that painkillers dont give him a buzz, they help him to function and get out of bed. I saw him chewing them up once and he was acting crazy. He had a bottle in his truck of Xanax that day too, so who knows what he was on, but he is very uncomfortable to be around, all he does is quote movies and tell jokes, etc. He is addicted to tv too and my brother found porn in his attic off his bedroom. (this was a year ago before rehab).
I am sorry to ramble...its frusterating because my mom keeps saying "he wasnt addicted to meth, he only used that when he couldnt get sleeping pills or painkillers" (does this even make any sense??)
My mom believes anything he tells her and she excuses everything he does.
ANyway sorry, any help you can give would be great!
Its great to have somewhere to talk about this!

[boricualoca]

I applaud all of you for being brave enough to go through this whole terrible ordeal of w/d's. I have been trying since last year, but am so weak I continue to do percs...even after gathering my family together and confessing to them that I am addicted to pain killers; only to have them all tell me how embarrassed they are of me, and not want anything to do with me.

Anywho, the question is this: those of you in school/working, do u take several days off in order to go through the worst of the w/d or are you able to continue working even though you are in the beginnings of the pangs of w/d? Can someone please respond to me? Like I said before, I am a diabetic and am afraid of going into seizures.

[Swifty]

I have been abusing Lortabs 10mgs for a good while now. I started taking one here, one there for about three months. My father was very sick at the time and it helped me cope better. Then my father passed away in August, and I have been eating 10's like candy(anywhere between 15-20 a day. So what used to be a small pick me up crutch has become an obsession. I took my last pill tuesday. I have felt terrible since then, I only had to go to work twice since then. But everyone was asking me if I was in a bad mood, and things of that nature. They are used to me flying high, making jokes, being very talkative, etc. Instead of introverted and in bad withdrawl. My fiance has threatened to leave me over the pills before. I hide them from her as long as possible, but since we live together I was found out. Today she told me to go out and get some pills because she cant stand my irritability, I havent been sleeping very well, and I guess I have not been as nice to her as I usually am. Im breaking out in sweats and have had diarria badly. I have yet to get any pills yet as I am determined to beat it or die trying. I would rather blow my head off than tell my Dr. I have been illegally buying drugs. The embarrasment of that is worse than my current suffering. My legs have hurt nonstop, and Ive been so tired that I have been drinking pots of coffee to try and conteract my fatigue. When does it start getting better? How many days does it take to beat? I have spent a fortune and hurt my body in the process of this horrible debacle. I wish I had never taken that first pill, but since I did, I guess its time to pay the piper. Any tips would be appreciated.

[EN OPP]

clarice2212 - I know it's hard seeing someone you love battle addiction, I put my loved ones in the same position not too long ago, and now know it was so unfair to them. Anyways, you asked how easy it is to get these pills. Well on the street (money isn't an issue you said) you can pretty much get your hands on any of the drugs you listed, no matter if you live in a farm town or new york city. Doctors sometimes will play the role of "credible drug dealer lol" and keep on prescribing unneeded painkillers and antidepressants to make more money, so he could be getting them that way. Don't believe for a second the pills "don't give him a buzz" if they didn't he wouldn't be chewing them up to get past the time release and get all the pills' effects at once. Hope I could help somewhat, if you have any more questions feel free to ask.

boricualoca - I was off of work and school for the first week when I quit. I couldn't imagine having responsibilities at that time, but after that, the worst of the withdrawals should be over. At that time you should be able to work, although everyone is different could take longer or less.

Swifty - Your story is very similar to mine, I also started only taking 1 pill here or there for some time. I eventually graduated to a daily 150mg+ "obsession" as you said. You seem to be suffering from all the usual withdrawal symptoms we addicts must go through when we quit. For your stomach try using Immodium AD, did wonders for the diareah (sp?), and your digestive system should re-adjust by the 1 week mark. The achy legs will also start getting better at that time. Hot soaks in the tub or jacuzzi really help those legs. The sleep is one of the last things that come back, I took 2 tylenol pm's for the first 2 weeks at bedtime and every night's sleep has gradually gotten better. I have NO problems with sleep at this time (been clean for 33 days).
You seem to be having a hard time with the lack of motivation/energy at work and irritability with your fiance. This is very common and you will be back to your joke telling, outgoing self in no more than 3 weeks. Keep your head up, everyday from here on out that you are clean gets easier and more rewarding!

[clarice2212]

EN OPP:
Thanks for your post! I didnt believe my mom about the "buzz" thing! Thanks for confirming my belief! IT amazes me that my mom can see other peoples situations so clear but she refuses to admit my dad has these problems!! SOO frusterating. It makes me feel like he will never get better because she keeps giving him excuses and helping him stay like this.
Wow, thats scary how easy drugs are to get....REAL scary!!!!
I do have one more question. Have you ever heard anything that if you have done meth but you can get your hands on painkillers and take those then you dont need to take meth because you have the painkillers instead? Do you know anything about that?? My dad swears that he only did meth "a few times" because he couldnt always get the painkillers. That meth was just a back up...he wasnt really addicted to it (I cant believe he even thinks I would buy that) I have NEVER believed this...but since I dont have experience with these drugs , my mom will NOT belive me when I say that yes..he was addicted to ALL of it. Anyway, just wondered if there is ANY truth to that at all!
You are so kind to listen to me and help with these questions! THank you!

[clarice2212]

By the way..great job on being clean 33 days!! Awesome!

[bigb784]

Swifty -- i can kind of relate to the problems you are going through -- i started out the same way popping a hydro here and there to get a good night sleep or whatever reason i came up with at the time. When my Dad got really sick about 45 days ago i went into overdrive and popped a ton.. However i realized that i needed to quit and 1 week before my Dad passed i was able to quit cold turkey. I'll be honest the 1st week - 10 days were hell. Your not quite a week so give it a lil more time and the pains you are facing will begin to go away.. I was lucky enough i guess in that i knew my Dad was very sick and i took this semester off from school so i haven't had to worry about work or school. I can only imagine how hard it is to still go to work and battle this.. If your wife will not support you going through this it is up to you to find the strength that is inside of you to beat this on your own.. My own opinion would be to find someone you know will be there for you and open up... it's so much easier with someone on your side.... Time heals all and thats what it is going to take... If it makes you feel better all of your symptoms were symptoms of mine and they have all pretty much left... I'm working on close to 3 weeks now... I still feel extremely weak and tired but other then that i can't complain... I've found forcing myself to walk or jog has really helped... Hope this helps... You are not the only one going through this and it is possible to beat it

[Swifty]

Thanks for the advice and the encouragement guys. Bigb our situations seem to be very similar. A lot of people look down on "druggies", I use to, but once life starts becoming hard its a slippery slope. You guys have given me hope. En Opp I went and got some Imodium and it is helping my stomach cope. Besides a few crying spells today, Im still hanging tough.

[EN OPP]

clarice2212 - I'm not sure if you are referring to methadone or street methamphetamines when you say meth. Methadone is a drug that is used for the treatment of getting off opiates (oxycodone, hydrocodone, heroin...) it's also abused and sold recreationally because it's also an opiate just in a long-lasting form. The pills your dad was taking is of short-acting form..so the "meth" would definitly hold him over until he got some more pills.
Now, a methamphetamine "crystal meth" I haven't ever seen in my life, but I know it's an upper like cocaine and would do nothing for a painkiller addict unless he had a separate addiction to this kind of "meth". I'm not an expert on this subject but I hope i helped you out a little.

Swifty - glad the immodium helped you out, I've heard a lot of people say take like 5 or 6 at a time if you got really bad stomach cramps, but I always just stuck to the recommended dose and it worked good for me.

[ljm1013]

En Opp - thank you for replying. I couldnt get online this weekend at home so now im back at work...I screwed up big time this weekend and took 2 - 7.5 mg of Percs on saturday. I woke up yesterday and had a huge headache and regret it so much. I think i needed that though to make me want to really quit. Im going to the store to get some immdoium today cause my stomach pains are back. How did you get through the first few weekends? Those are the toughest for me.

[EN OPP]

The first 2 weekends were tough, I didn't stay out too late and tried to avoid a lot of alcohol...by the 3rd week I had no symptoms of withdrawal. The only thing that made it hard to go out was the lack of energy which is almost back to 100% for me right now. Do you have a lot of friends that you go out with that also take pills?
Don't think of the 2 percs you took as a big screw up, think of it as a small hurdle on your path to freedom from these drugs. Alot of people face these obstacles, I know I did..The first..second..third time I tried to quit it would only last for a few days, then take 1 pill, go another few days clean. You just can't do that to yourself, you'll fall back into your old habits in a matter of days. I remember thinking that when I was clean for 12 days this time I had so much confidence that just one more roxi wouldn't hurt, but if I would of taken that pill I wouldn't be on this forum today proud of my 34 days clean time! :-)

[ljm1013]

Just my boyfriend took them with me. None of my other friends know i take them. I had to go to a work dinner on thursday and i had a few beers and i felt so sloppy drunk. Without my pill it was like i couldnt drink anymore. I didnt like the way i felt. It wasnt a happy drunk so i dont want to drink anymore without a pill which makes me not want to go out. You are a very smart 21 year old! Most kids your age wouldnt know to not take that 1 pill. I cant wait to get were you are! My stomach isnt in a lot of pain like it was last week but now it is just making weird noises and feels like someone is blowing bubbles in there...is that normal?

[boricualoca]

En Opp, thank you so much for your reply. If I can take next week off, I'll stop taking the percs on Friday!

I'll keep you guys posted. Here's to hoping my boss gives me the week off! Thanks alot.

[EN OPP]

ljm1013 - I remember that blowing bubbles feeling in my stomach, i believe it lasted me a little less than 2 weeks, I would hear all sorts of weird noises gurgling in there lol but not really any pain after week 1. I'm guessing it's "normal" since we both had the same symptoms.
As far as the drinking goes, I really didn't enjoy mixing alcohol with the pills so I only occasionally did it, my thing was mixing the pills with smoking pot. I have been drinking somewhat more since I quit, and at first it was a dumb drunk (i think combination of the healing opiate receptors and the release of dopamine from the alcohol cause some confusion at first) but now when I drink it's just a normal drunk if that makes sense.
I know you're looking for a time-frame of when certain symptoms come and go, but everyone is different, these symptoms and their longevity are affected by so many different factors (how many mg's a day you used to take, how long your addiction was, your health...) but i assure you, every symptom you have now will improve everyday you don't take a pill. One day soon you will wake up and it'll all be gone.
The only thing that still affects me is cravings, I crave them everyday. But now it's more like 2 or 3 times a day, not dozens of thought's of pills every every minute like when I first stopped.

[ljm1013]

En Opp - Glad to hear you had that too! Sorry but when my stomach started making those noises i didnt know what was going on in there...im in a quiet office and i think other people could hear my stomach so i turned the radio on! Hahaha...I feel better today. My stomach isnt in as much pain and i actually slept last night. I only woke up once!!! I think the thing that has helped me the most was cutting all connections for pills. I only had one main guy and he disappeared last week so he may be in jail or who knows but that day he does call me im not answering the phone! Thank you so much for replying to me you have helped me a lot!