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10-23-2007, 07:30 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 248
| |
Congratulations on your success, diggnrichmond |
10-28-2007, 04:01 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
| |
Diggnrichmond, congrats, and please keep posting. I know that takes a lot of commitment and willpower. I abused for many years, but now I have been using painkillers (as directed) for a long time now. I take the 1 lortab prescribed daily now. I go to about 4-5 meetings a week, and that helps me keep on track. Deep down, I know that totatally clean would be the best way to go, but I do have legit pain, so I use that as justification.
outdrlvr, let us know how you are doing....
patmamma, keep comin' back.
Coming Home
__________________
There is ALWAYS hope |
10-30-2007, 04:16 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 296
| |
hi all i would like to know if you can get suboxone at clinics in canada or is this just in the usa |
10-30-2007, 05:53 PM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Missouri
Posts: 547
| |
Yes, you can obtain Suboxone at clinics in Canada.
Mike VG
__________________
Mike VG |
10-31-2007, 04:45 PM
| | Platinum Member | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Canada.
Posts: 2,700
| |
Buprenorphene is not yet available in Ontario but it should be in pharmacies early next year.
We have heard this before but it looks as though it's going to happen this time.
My pharmacist is keeping an eye out for this drug as it will help so many people here in Ontario.
According to "Methadone News" which my pharacist gives me every 3 months, buprenorphene will be available in the new year.Let's hope so!!!! Methadone doctors will be able to prescribe buprenorphene.Doctors wishing to prescribe the drug have to take an 8hr course........Dave |
11-01-2007, 03:20 AM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1
| | 
I JUST joined this evening and am totally confused. This is a long story so bear with me PUHLEEZE!
In 1976 I was in an auto accident (not my fault) which ended my music career. As a result of the closed head injury sustained in the accident, I developed a very complex hard to control seizure disorder and bilateral temporal migraines on par with the headaches one experiences with meningitis.
My medical history is VEEEEEEEEEEEEEERy complex including polio at 18months (mercifully no permanent sequelae; Leukemia at age 9 (spontaneous remission after 6 months after treatment with high dose steroids which was only thing available in the 1950s); severe reaction to anesthesia following an appendectomy at age 8; paraxysmal
atrial tachycardia (age 22 to present day); hypothyroidism (genetic on both sides of family tree);asthma (genetic from both sides of family tree);2 miscarriages;life threatening hemorrage following a tonsillectomy; osteoarthritis;rheumatoid arthritis; osteoporosis; fibromyalgia; raynauds syndrome; permanently crushed vertebrae in my neck;chronic intermittant renal insufficiency; a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG list of drug allergies;food allergies including eggs, bromated flour; strawberries; any melon. Think that covers all the chronic conditions. I take a LOT of medications which has taken years to balance carefully. I more or less lived with a level 3 pain taking very little pain medication on only the worst days.(my pain prescriptions would expire before they could be refilled and the doctors would have to rewrite the scripts). I used biofeedback, guided imagery, and relaxation exercises to control the pain instead of taking the drugs most of the time!
Okay, this past July I had to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy to check for polyps to see if that was what was making me so ill these past three years. They found a gastric polyp which was removed and found to be benigin but I developed just about ever complication except pregnancy and broken bones and spent 7 weeks in the hospital. I have no memory of July, August, and the first two weeks in Sept. I had non stop seizures; a life threatening reaction to Darvon;double pneumonia; pleurisy; migraines like you would not believe; something called an illeus; and my electrolytes tanked so badly I coded. I have taken more pain medication since July than I have in my entire life! Then I developed a new form of migraine which feels as if someone is driving a
needle straight into the occiput of the brain. Have been on every NSAID you can name
with absolutely no relief. My Rx for Vicodin was increased to 1 every 6 hours plus 25mg. of phenergan every six hours. I also take Klonopin for anxiety and to boost my seizure meds. When I was in the hospital I had any number of pain meds including I.V. morphine.
Okay, FIIIIIIIIINally get home and for another 6 weeks have lived with this new migraine
plus all the old pain I was accustomed to but by now have been pushed over the edge and an old eating disorder (anorexia) kicks in just to make life interesting and have lost 30 pounds simply because I can't eat very much because of all the pain. Finally, one of the docs prescribes oxycodone 2 days ago at the lowest dose possible and for the first time in 4 months the pain is dulled and I got a night's sleep and pain relief for about 8 hours. Then today the new pain doc, after seeing me TWICE decides I am a candidate for something called Suboxone. I don't think my neurologist or pulmonologist are going to
agree to this treatment given it is not recommended for asthmatics OR epileptics and can cause nausea, and a whole list of other problems I am already fighting. Given I have stopped breathing twice in the last 4 months it seems nuts to take me off a regimen of drugs I am at least tolerating to risk taking a drug which could cause probems I have already struggled with!!
I know my health history is a lot to take in but has ANYONE experienced the riskiest side effects of this drug and NOT had to cope with all the problems I live with on a daily basis? I was less than impressed with this recommendation only to be told this was the best they could do for me and besides they were concerned about ADDICTION from the very drugs which control the seizures, anxiety, and pain I live with 24/7.
Golden Finch  |
11-01-2007, 04:01 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 157
| |
post edited
Last edited by outdrlvr; 11-01-2007 at 04:06 AM.
|
11-01-2007, 11:33 AM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3
| | I know what your friend is going through
I know exactly how she feels, except I went through the withdrawals off of oxycontin (160mg per day) and 90mg per day of oxycodone. (which is the same as oxycontin just without the time release) If you friend wants to kick the habit without any help from a doctor, she needs to get immodiuam ad for the diarrea, something to help her sleep, something for nausea, and something for her bloodpressure. As you can see, it's hard to do without a doctor. She can either get these combination of things, OR, she can get online and find a doctor in her area that prescribes suboxone. This is a break-through drug that will kill the withdrawals within about ten minutes of taking the first dose. I mean all withdrawals, GONE. You see, I have kids, so I couldn't just lay there and sweat it out. As far as how long the withdrawals last, the first seven days are the worst. They should start to ease starting the second week. ( a week being seven days not five ) BUT the bad news is, your body can go through physical withdrawals for up to six months. That is why it is soooo hard for people to kick the habit because most people can't stand to feel like they are dying for that long when it's easier to put a pill in their mouth. So, she can either get suboxone (which is an opiate blocker so if she takes a loratab she wont feel it anyway) or she can get phenegran for nausea, clonodine for blood pressure (because when your body gets used to something like loratab or pain pills and you take then away it causes your blood pressure to shoot up), immodium ad for diarrea, and something for sleep. Hope this helps! |
11-04-2007, 08:16 PM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Durham, NC
Posts: 3
| |  need fentynal help!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hi ev1..I am new here..and just happened to see a post by Jamie...but then I noticed it was 2 years old..not sure if this will be seen if I don't repost it. She was on Fenytal...as am I..and feel hopeless. However, she said she is now off them. I can't imagine..I have intense chronic pain (fibromyalgia) but it is apparently an extremely severe case..and was placed on the patches 8 years ago by doctors...I want to come off them, but am scared. I know I am addicted and they now control me. How I have made it this long with no support I will never know. I also am on xanax, and percocet but am not too concerned with those. I have been able to wean off them before, etc...(not easy but is possible) but because this is in a patch form, I have no control over if I need it or not. Does anyone else out there have these issues...or any even close. Please respond someone...I know there are tons of us hurting..I have been in the Air Force, and the Army...and always felt I was tough. I never thought I'd be here, now...I lost my hubby to cancer and am now alone and I guess I don't care any more.. Part of me just realized I have been in pain...and on narcotics for years....it just doesn't seem that long. I have been on the same mcg the whole 8 years without ever going up on anything I am on...it just doesn't work any more, breakthru meds (percocet) don't work..I feel "withdrawals" and need to know what to do...It never last the time between patch changes (from new patch to new patch) without the pain..and a "withdrawaly" feeling..and I feel awful all the time..my doctors just don't seem to know or care and what they offer scares me more.. I need to get help if I am going to live...If I can be of help to any one..please ask...I want to know more about suboxone from someone who has really been there...also, they mentioned ms contin at one point.. Is that bnetter than fentynal...I may have to face the fact of being on meds..I can't stand the pain...will not live like that..but need something I have control over...and that works...I'd like to be off though..Thanks so much!
warmly, bendi |
11-07-2007, 10:11 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 68
| | 3rd day strong
Hi all, I have been reading all your guys posts for the last few days and it makes me so happy to know that I'm not completely alone out there. Well my story goes, I started taking 2-3 vicodins and percocets about a year ago, but only once a week or so. I thought they were great and made me feel absolutely wonderful (eventhough i had no reason to be taking them) anyways I always would be able to just stop and go on with my life with no withdrawals. Then about 6 months ago i got introduced to Roxicodone 30mg (the little blue ones) and I started taking them a little more frequently (at work, school (automotive school, not the best place to be high), anywhere that i felt it was too boring to be sober. Well, I got to the point where i felt that i needed them to do any simple task and live my life. I eventually lost my job about a month ago and just kept revolving my life around the stupid pills. My 21st birthday was 3 days ago and i decided that for myself, for my girlfriend, for my family i would get my life back and not be dependant on something i should never have taken in the first place. I am trying so hard not to call and get some more i just keep looking at my phone, I've been clean for 3 days now and it's getting a little (very little) easier, I feel like I'm so sick and all that is on my mind is getting high again. I know that I'm a strong person and in a few days it should get better (at least phisically) All i want to do is stop. Thank you guys for listening i really do need some support as no one close to me knows I have this problem. |
11-07-2007, 05:56 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
| |
Quote:
Originally Posted by EN OPP  Hi all, I have been reading all your guys posts for the last few days and it makes me so happy to know that I'm not completely alone out there. Well my story goes, I started taking 2-3 vicodins and percocets about a year ago, but only once a week or so. I thought they were great and made me feel absolutely wonderful (eventhough i had no reason to be taking them) anyways I always would be able to just stop and go on with my life with no withdrawals. Then about 6 months ago i got introduced to Roxicodone 30mg (the little blue ones) and I started taking them a little more frequently (at work, school (automotive school, not the best place to be high), anywhere that i felt it was too boring to be sober. Well, I got to the point where i felt that i needed them to do any simple task and live my life. I eventually lost my job about a month ago and just kept revolving my life around the stupid pills. My 21st birthday was 3 days ago and i decided that for myself, for my girlfriend, for my family i would get my life back and not be dependant on something i should never have taken in the first place. I am trying so hard not to call and get some more i just keep looking at my phone, I've been clean for 3 days now and it's getting a little (very little) easier, I feel like I'm so sick and all that is on my mind is getting high again. I know that I'm a strong person and in a few days it should get better (at least phisically) All i want to do is stop. Thank you guys for listening i really do need some support as no one close to me knows I have this problem. | A lot of us can relate to your story. It starts as a great thing, then one day you realize what you thought was your best friend is your worst enemy. It grips you by the throat and slowly choaks. Addiction is cunning, baffling, and progessive. Once the addiction starts, it progresses with time. I know a person who is on probation and she gets randomly drug tested. She is facing 15 years if and narcotics are found in her system, and she is STILL unable to stop. That is where the disease of addiction takes us.
The good news is that it CAN be arrested. Good job getting 3 days clean. I personally know how hard those early days are. You may want to find support in NA, AA, or PA (pills anonymous). Many have found the support, education, and guidance they need through these.
Coming Home
__________________
There is ALWAYS hope |
11-07-2007, 06:42 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 68
| |
ComingHome, thanks for the input, i know a support group would be the best idea, I just don't think its my way to get through this. It's amazing i've never been addicted to anything (except cigarettes), and i've done my fair share of other "street drugs". I still look back thinking how this could've happend to me, I never knew how people could be addicted to these things. Although it's been so hard these first few days, I can feel myself getting better from these withdrawls by the hour with a little help from imodium AD and some Tylenol PM at night. For anyone out there who doesn't think they can quit, i know its so hard to get through the beginning but it seems to be getting easier for me as the time goes by...slowly |
11-17-2007, 09:54 PM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 14
| |
 I'm confused and need help. I have to say I'm ashamed to put this in writing, but I think I'm addicted to percs. I've been reading your posts and can relate to a few of them. Funny, I never thought I would fall into this trap. 
Last Wednesday, I decided to stop taking the percs because I no longer felt back pain. OMG!!!! After several hours, I started shaking, vomiting, restless legs, etc. I ran to the bathroom and took 2 percs. It seemed to calm me down.
I've been on percs before! What happened?! I was only taking 3 pills a day!!
I can't believe this is happening. I have ten grandkids! My children will disown me! Will I lose my family? I don't want them to ever find out, but how am I going to get through this? I have no friends, no one to confide in. Can I call the doctor and get that suboxone while still being able to go to work? I really don't want anyone knowing. Can one of you young peeps give me any advise? I would deeply appreciate it. I've got to go, I'm rambling like a lunatic.
Thank you and God Bless you all!
__________________  May we all find peace within ourselves. |
11-17-2007, 10:54 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 294
| |
Quote:
Originally Posted by boricualoca I'm confused and need help. I have to say I'm ashamed to put this in writing, but I think I'm addicted to percs. I've been reading your posts and can relate to a few of them. Funny, I never thought I would fall into this trap.
Last Wednesday, I decided to stop taking the percs because I no longer felt back pain. OMG!!!! After several hours, I started shaking, vomiting, restless legs, etc. I ran to the bathroom and took 2 percs. It seemed to calm me down.
I've been on percs before! What happened?! I was only taking 3 pills a day!!
I can't believe this is happening. I have ten grandkids! My children will disown me! Will I lose my family? I don't want them to ever find out, but how am I going to get through this? I have no friends, no one to confide in. Can I call the doctor and get that suboxone while still being able to go to work? I really don't want anyone knowing. Can one of you young peeps give me any advise? I would deeply appreciate it. I've got to go, I'm rambling like a lunatic.
Thank you and God Bless you all! |
It's amazing how many people innocently get hooked on this stuff just taking it for ailments. Don't beat yourself up and I do believe your family is going to be very understanding. |
11-18-2007, 09:42 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: , , USA.
Posts: 196
| | Dammit!
Hi again,
I went back to taking 1/2 -1 pill per day. I dont know what the hell is up with this. I really couldnt possibly have an addiction physically, but I have one mentally. ********************! So, tomorrow, I have the last 1/2 pill. I will wait for the time to take it, then, back to detox, (mentally). I think this is an important thing to read. You can be addicted mentally, its not just about quitting, its about changing your mindset.
I will write when i start to recover. I am so sorry not to post, but this is really hard for me to admit, and deal with.
Thank you Outdrlvr, and all others for your support, I want to be here again, and I am really not gone, your encouragement has kept me focused. I feel like I am in a race, but in this race, I cannot see my opponants or the finish line.
Patmamma |
11-19-2007, 07:13 AM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 10
| | 36 hours clean
This is so hard to do. It's true what many people have said about the mental part being harder to get through. At this point, the physical withdrawals are lessening a lot. My legs are still a bit uncomfortable, but I can deal. I started weening a few days ago, and by the time I reached 3 pills a day, I stopped weening and just came off them completely.
I feel depressed and scared and anxious, and all that great stuff.
I can't get my words together right now, but I just had to write something. Thanks and I wish you all well.. |
11-19-2007, 12:02 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: , , USA.
Posts: 196
| |
Good luck Sammy! I am right behind you! It is always good to be with someone else in this fight, battle, struggle, whatever!
My question remains.........why have I had to continue this battle while others have been so successful? I just feel weak.
Patmamma |
11-20-2007, 09:50 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
| |
Quote:
Originally Posted by boricualoca I'm confused and need help. I have to say I'm ashamed to put this in writing, but I think I'm addicted to percs. I've been reading your posts and can relate to a few of them. Funny, I never thought I would fall into this trap.
Last Wednesday, I decided to stop taking the percs because I no longer felt back pain. OMG!!!! After several hours, I started shaking, vomiting, restless legs, etc. I ran to the bathroom and took 2 percs. It seemed to calm me down.
I've been on percs before! What happened?! I was only taking 3 pills a day!!
I can't believe this is happening. I have ten grandkids! My children will disown me! Will I lose my family? I don't want them to ever find out, but how am I going to get through this? I have no friends, no one to confide in. Can I call the doctor and get that suboxone while still being able to go to work? I really don't want anyone knowing. Can one of you young peeps give me any advise? I would deeply appreciate it. I've got to go, I'm rambling like a lunatic.
Thank you and God Bless you all! | boricualoca, it is very common. You do not have a moral deficiency, you have the disease of addiction. It can be arrested and treated. There are different schools and ways of treating it, but the most effective (from my personal experience) is anonymous meetings. Here is an example: http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/
Coming Home
__________________
There is ALWAYS hope |
11-21-2007, 08:46 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: , , USA.
Posts: 196
| |  here I go again!
Okay, day two, so far, not so bad. I had only taken 1/2 perc. per day for the last 5 days prior to yesterday, so that prob. helps a ton. That isnt what I am nervous about though, I just hope the cravings of that even small amount dont come back. Good news is nothing really hurts.....my other fear. I have so many accidents I am recovering from, so I guess that my bod is healing without pain.
I am taking a family trip and wont be back until Monday or Tuesday, so Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my health.
Patmamma |
11-21-2007, 01:00 PM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2
| |
Bori, first if you really want to get on the sub. then ya need to find a doc that is able to perscribe them to you... to my knowledge not all docs can. But even then it can be very expensive.
I had a buddy of mine tell about this doc. that does clinical trials. And this is what I'm currently in right now, i started off by applying for the program and (if they see you really are trying to get help and not just get the drugs then they more than likely will admit you) this current trial is they insert implants in your arm and the implants is just another form of suboxne except instead of having to take it orally its constantly in your system for 6 months so you dont have to remember to take it and cant just stop taking the pill and relapse. You honestly really have to want help b/c you dont have a choice! (which for me it would have been to easy to stop taking the suboxne and sell it to get my oxys) But seeing how its still in the "trial state" THEY PAY YOU!!! For every UA I give its $30 and for everytime i go in to see the doc its $20.... And while your applying and waiting for your implants they GIVE you suboxne.
But there is a catch only 2 out of 3 patients get the actual implants and the 1 gets what they call a placebo or the "control" of the experiment.. but if your the one that gets the placebo they still give you suboxne or you can request to get another implant... but thats the road i would try and take. I hope that have helped atleast a little. |
11-25-2007, 03:48 AM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 44
| | hydrocodone and suboxne
Just a quick note because i cant write much tonight but the one thing that most of you have missed is that you should'nt be so worried about taking so many vicodin as you should be the damage that your doing to your liver with all of the tylenol your taking with the vicodin. If any of you are taking more than 4000 milligrams add each tablet up like a 10/650 has 650 milligrams of tylenol, it only takes 4000 to kill your liver and to kill you instantly. More people die from overdosing on tylenol than all of the instant pain pills like vicodin, percocet, oxycodone etc put together. I will post more about suboxone as well its not used to get people off lots of drugs and its also an opiate as well just a smaller dose of opiate so its like replacing one drug for another. Sorry I dont have time to post more but if you write me at mbales5459@aol.com I can respond in great detail and I will start posting more info here because I have a great way to get off of vicodin I know I did it.
mbales |
11-26-2007, 12:33 PM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 3
| | my fentanyl withdrawal-light at the end of the tunnel
i'm a 34 year old female who had been on 150 mcg fentanyl patches for the past 5 years or so. I went in to see my back doctor in early october when he informed me that i no longer needed the patches and sent me home with a weeks worth of methadone and a clonzipine patch. If you're not familiar with fentanyl, it's 60x's stronger than morphine. I was in shock and disbelief. How could this man who had treated me for so long just pull the rug out from under me, no weening down, just a few methadone pills. I was in hell, i felt like i would never escape. I suffer from depression and anxiety, so i was eating xanax like candy. I just wanted to die. My husband looked at these boards and other sites to find out anything that could possibly take away some of my suffering. So, with pretty much the clonzipine patch and ammodium a-d, i would stumble from my bed to my bathroom to my couch, just wanting so badly to sleep. When you suffer from depression and anxiety, sleep deprivation puts you right at the edge, and i was ready to jump. I told my husband how i felt and he told me if i were to kill myself i would first have to call my family and explain why i could no longer go on with life. then we discussed the methadone program. He grew up with a Junkie father and saw what methadone did to him, and i didn't want my life revolving around the meth clinic. so for about a month, i had no sleep, maybe 30 minutes a nite, didn't eat, didn't drink, ended up dehydrated in an urgent care clinic and took 3 bags of solution to get me right. It has been over a month since I quit. I was going to go into a rehab clinic, just so iwouldn't be alone and hurt myself, but my husband sacrificed work to be with me and take care of me. I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and it looks beautiful. I am a drug addict, always will be, but I kicked that devil drug cold turkey, and i know if i can do it, anyone can. I have been clean for about 7 weeks now. |
11-26-2007, 07:28 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
| |
Wow, ChristinaB! Your story is very inspiring. I once read that if you tell your brain that you can no longer get pain meds (or any narcotic that you are addicted to), your brain will go into acceptance mode. I think that is what happened with you. 7 weeks clean from that kind of dosage is a HUGE accomplishment, and you are providing hope for all of the readers on here who still suffer. You may want to start meetings also so that you can keep your clean time and excelerate your recovery (NA, AA, PA... etc - they all have great 12 step programs). Keep it up - take it one day at a time, and most importantly, REMAIN VIGILANT to the devil thoughts of using. They are just thoughts.
ComingHome
__________________
There is ALWAYS hope |
11-27-2007, 02:10 AM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1
| | Addicted to Nurofen Plus
I have been addicted to codeine, be it in the form of Solpadeine (which was the first drug I started with), Nurofen Plus, Feminax - anything that has codeine in it I will use. This started about 18 years ago because I pulled 2 discs in my back.
I am a Registered Nurse so I knew the pitfalls in taking such large amounts of codeine. I did try twice to wean myself off it but, the sweats, shakes, vomiting - I just couldn't -and can't do it. Pride is keeping me from looking for outside help. No-one knows I am an addict - I think I would die of embarrassment.
I know this won't help your friend but just keep hanging in there! I am again in the process of trying to get off it. It is the hardest thing I have ever tried but I'm still going to keep on pushing myself - good luck |
11-27-2007, 09:42 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: , , USA.
Posts: 196
| |
ChristinaB, that really was amazing what you went through! I hope to post a victory, but with this whole thing, I am not sure there are any true victories. I think I just have to admit that I am totally powerless here.
Cominghome, I think that the key to what you said was to have your brain know that it cannot get any more pills, then it will go into acceptance mode. I dont think that can happen with me and my mountain bike racing lifestyle, I get hurt often. I will try to suffer a bit, but then, when it is a torn ligament, I cannot take it, or a dislocated bone, what the #$%%^^& do i do?
Anyway, hopefully I wont have future injuries, and so far it is 8 days clean cold turkey, burr~!
Patmamma |
11-27-2007, 10:57 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
| |
Quote:
Originally Posted by patmamma ChristinaB, that really was amazing what you went through! I hope to post a victory, but with this whole thing, I am not sure there are any true victories. I think I just have to admit that I am totally powerless here.
Cominghome, I think that the key to what you said was to have your brain know that it cannot get any more pills, then it will go into acceptance mode. I dont think that can happen with me and my mountain bike racing lifestyle, I get hurt often. I will try to suffer a bit, but then, when it is a torn ligament, I cannot take it, or a dislocated bone, what the #$%%^^& do i do?
Anyway, hopefully I wont have future injuries, and so far it is 8 days clean cold turkey, burr~!
Patmamma | Patmamma, I know that bike racing is probably the thing you love the most, but is it worth your sanity knowing you are risking your clean time. You are powerless over your addiction just like I am. If we take that first pill, it is very hard for us to stop. We continue to take them day after day. I would boldly suggest looking at other activities. You might find one that you might like as much (or even more) without the risk of sending you further into your addiction. Addiction is incurable and progressive, but we can arrest it. In order to stay clean OUR RECOVERY NEEDS TO COME FIRST. Just some words for thought....
ComingHome
__________________
There is ALWAYS hope |
11-28-2007, 10:39 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 157
| |
Cominghome - while I understand your reasoning for your comments about Patmamma finding another activity, I dont really agree with it. (FWIW, Please, I am not trying to be offensive here).
Mountainbiking isn't the problem. The addiction is. Staying away from mountainbiking and other injury causing activities isn't the answer, as the addiction will find another way to trick the person into seeking that next high.
There's alternative medicines/treatments for pain, anti inflammatories, physio, chiro, accupuncture... the list goes on. Trust me I have been there, I tried them all, but convinced myself none of these worked because I loved the opiate high so much.
What truly has come down to it for me is a point where Im completely sick of them. I've been off them well over a month now (Oct 18th is my clean date), and I have no intentions on going back to them, knowing full well what it's like.
I figured my real test was last week when I told my doc I didn't need the painkillers anymore. No big deal right? I breezed through that appointment!
But guess what, I have surgery coming up in two weeks, Id like to think I won't use that as an excuse to seek some pain killers. When it comes down to it and I think it through I know I don't want a temporary fix, which would be that prescription.
I can relate to Patmamma, I don't want to stop living, and doing what I enjoy (Im outdoorsy too, and some of my activities mean sustaining injuries).
I wish you well Patmamma, and anyone who reads this post, for I have walked that tough road with the opiate fog, beleive me Id rather be in reality hiking the longest logging road in the most painful boots, for taking that fork in the road means withdrawal... it's the worst sickness.
I find it actually gets in the way of my physical activities, for I now recognise I am so much stronger without them.
It DOES get better, it really does. Soon enough you don't count the hours, the minutes, the days, soon enough you realise that your body can function without that fix. That's the easy part. The hard part is realising there's no turning back, for if you do, then you eventually have to face it again.
Sincerely, peace to all of you, at whatever point you have reached. |
11-29-2007, 12:22 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
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Outdrivr, you bring up a good point about addiction being the real problem, and I completely agree with that. I also agree that you don't have to give up the things you love. However, many times it is a good idea to TEMPORILY give them up. In early recovery, it is best to stay clear of OPPT (old people, places, and things). Once we get some clean time behind us, we get strong enough to transition back into those things. I personally almost completely abstained from my favorite hobby for my first 10 months clean. Recovery needs to come first until we can get some clean time behind us. The physical part is EASY compared with the mental challenges of addiction. Just when you think the desire is gone, it WILL creep back up out of nowhere. In my first year clean, I almost relapsed several times. The only thing that saved me was the NA program and the support, love, and education I gained there. With that said, CONGRATS ON YOUR CLEAN TIME! Remain vigilant!
Patmamma, let us know how you are doing.
ComingHome
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12-01-2007, 04:24 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
| | There is no need to continue suffering
Help is available to those suffering from active addiction. http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/
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There is ALWAYS hope |
12-02-2007, 07:26 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: USA.
Posts: 263
| |
ComingHome,
You bring up some great points on addiction. I'm glad to see that you are working a program. I was on this board a couple years ago when I first got clean. This board was instrumental to me, mainly because I was able to carry a message of hope and recovery to those who still suffered. There were several people that got clean in my first year, and we developed a kind of recovery network. It was pretty cool. This is a great forum for those who take the effort to get the help required to get clean. I couldn't do it on my own - I kept relapsing. Finally, I started going to meetings, I did an outpatient program, and I started carrying the message on this board. Those things helped me get clean and stay clean.
Chrish
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Clean Date: 10/11/05
Drugs are a big lie. Don\'t believe the lie.
***HOW TO FIND LOCAL NA MEETINGS****
http://www.na.org/links-toc.htm | | |
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