[SoBeit]

thanks mrcr81- your response did help! It reinforced the importance of attending meetings to give/get support. Plus that will help my initial problem of being isolated from the world… You’re right about the pills wiping out the “natural happiness” but staying in my room won’t help me fix that at all. So, yes, I think I need to force myself to be social, and going to the meetings will be the initial step and a win-win situation…thanks!

[Friends10]

I have to get a second shot of of the epoiural steroid on the 19th because the back and leg are not better.So, I got more vicodine and of course was thrilled.Here's the situation of what I take.I am bi-polar and have chronic anxiety.For this, I take Cymbalta and Lamictal.For anxiety I take xanax.I have high blood pressure and take toprol.I also have acid reflux and take prevacid.In my previous post, I told you of my back situation, so for the pain, I use the vicodine.Now, all the other meds I have no problem with except xanax.I also have problems with the vicodine.Vicodine tells me,"You function much better when you take me.I am calling you to take me so you can get things done.Take another so you can communicate.You love me don't you?"Yet, the vicodine does help with the pain, but I know I am addicted
I love them,I love the feeling they give me, and they help with the pain.
So, who can relate?Everyone right?I am worried that once my back gets better that I will not get any more of them unless I fake an ailment.

[dontlikeit]

I'm new and not sure where to post a question.

As amazing as this sounds, I never knew a person could become addicted to pain meds if they were taking them as prescribed. I THINK I am addicted but am just finding this out today. I KNOW that sounds pretty naive!!!

I have kidney problems the last 3 years with surgeries and all. I have been on Vicodin ES 750 (?) for the past 3 years except during the times I have surgery and they give me Percocet.

I pretty much do everything by the book. If the doctor says take 2 tabs every 4-6 hrs for pain, that's what I do. If they say 1 every 6 hours for pain, again, that's what I do.

Recently, I had a surgery to repair the problem. I believe I have been "cured" and did not renew my pain medication because, frankly, there is little pain. That was Friday. Today is Sunday! I feel like I have the severe flu! Every ounce of me hurts so bad. I do not sleep well at night. I have night sweats.

IS THIS WITHDRAWL???????!! I hurt so bad and am so depressed, I can't believe it. I also have severe diahrea.

Please help me figure this out. I know I sound really stupid. I just thought "addicts" were people who abused the pain pills, not taking them as prescribed. Sorry.

Thinking back, I have felt like I had the severe flu before (when I know I didn't) the few times I was off the pain meds.

Thanks for listening! I am eagerly awaiting your reply.

[dontlikeit]

Oh, please, is there anyone out there? Anyone that can answer any of my questions?

I feel so HORRIBLE right now. I just want to crawl under a rock!

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by dontlikeit

Oh, please, is there anyone out there? Anyone that can answer any of my questions?

I feel so HORRIBLE right now. I just want to crawl under a rock!

I'm sorry sweetheart, but yes, you are going thru w/d, which really SUCKS
b/c you were just following your doc's direction. To be optimistic tho, since you were taking the drugs as directed, you probably weren't feeling the "high" that typical addicts (including myself) crave. And if you didn't, it's just a matter of getting over the physical w/d. A lot of the addicts struggle comes afterward the w/d and becomes a mental battle to not use, but I hope/think that this will not be the case for you. Also, I think your doc should give you something to alleviate your pain, such as anti-anxiety and sleeping aides b/c they of all people should have forseen your symptoms by quiting cold turkey. I know, it's terrible and I'm sorry if this came as a complete shock to you but it'll get better day by day...

[dontlikeit]

I can't believe it. I am COMPLETELY devistated. But in reading all these posts most people talk about their skin crawling, etc. I don't have that. Mine is so completely horrible aching in all my body. HORRIBLE. Diarrhea. Depression.

Tears are falling. People who know me wld not believe this. How could this have happened? ME!!!!!!!! I do NOT abuse the drugs. NEVER!!!!!!

But I have taken them for a long time which is why I began to wonder.

Thank you SoBeit. How long will this last?

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by dontlikeit

I can't believe it. I am COMPLETELY devistated. But in reading all these posts most people talk about their skin crawling, etc. I don't have that. Mine is so completely horrible aching in all my body. HORRIBLE. Diarrhea. Depression.

Tears are falling. People who know me wld not believe this. How could this have happened? ME!!!!!!!! I do NOT abuse the drugs. NEVER!!!!!!

But I have taken them for a long time which is why I began to wonder.

Thank you SoBeit. How long will this last?

I really can't say for sure but I can only go by my experience. 3 years ago I was addicted to ultram for a couple of years. I quit by tapering but once I had no more pills to take, I think I was like a zombie lying in bed sweating for 3 days or so. Then gradually I was able to work and move around but still feeling quite badly. It took me close to a month to feel completely normal as I recall. The reason why I started writing on this board is b/c I got addicted to oxys and I quit by taking a drug called subutex which takes away the w/d you are experiencing. Can you call your doc tomorrow and maybe be prescribed something (not something as strong as subutex but maybe clonazepam)? If you tell him/her what you are going thru, I think they would know what's best. And if they say "just deal with it" at the very least ask for something so you can sleep b/c it's a great way to pass time and not deal with your current pain.

[dontlikeit]

You are so nice to respond.

I guess I could call my doctor. I am still realing from the shock of it all. I feel SHAME even though I am mad that I really don't have anything to be shameful for! I am NOT wanting to call the doctor for what everyone might think.

Guess I gotta figure it out. It's hard to think when you feel so lousy.

Again, thank you.

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by dontlikeit

You are so nice to respond.

I guess I could call my doctor. I am still realing from the shock of it all. I feel SHAME even though I am mad that I really don't have anything to be shameful for! I am NOT wanting to call the doctor for what everyone might think.

Guess I gotta figure it out. It's hard to think when you feel so lousy.

Again, thank you.

That's right, you have NOTHING to be shameful about. I feel shame for myself b/c I used the pills even tho i knew it was self destructive. But now I'm doing something about it to better myself by quitting so I don't feel shame anymore-at all. I need to move forward and not dwell. But for you, so it seems, drugs are quite alien and you didn't know about the consequences of taking painkillers. There are only a few times one can say "it's not my fault" regarding taking drugs but it does apply to you...take away the shame and pride and get something that could really help you. I know how you feel...now after this and you continue taking painkillers, then shame on you- but you see the difference, right?

[SoBeit]

But let me also say, I'm not pushing you to take more drugs. It's just that from my own experience of going thru w/d, having something to ease the pain made a world of difference. But please, if you don't feel comfortable then don't call the doctor. I just want you to feel better...

[dontlikeit]

I absolutely DO see the difference. I AM familiar with family members and alcoholism (not me) and how they went through withdrawl and treatment centers, etc.

I am totally unfamiliar with drug (pills) addictions.

You are a very brave person. Do you know that? You said you went back on drugs knowing the side affects, etc. and yet you are so positive and restarting your life. I am so proud of you and all the others who have this disease. I simply can't say enough about it.

SoBeit - I feel like you saved me today. I was going nuts trying to find out why I am so "sick" and the answer was withdrawl. I don't know how this whole thing got past me but I am never going to take these drugs again. I am wondering though, if this kidney surgery did not work (I still have 1 week to have the final test to see if it worked), and I get in GREAT pain, what wld I ask for to avoid taking the Vicodin or Percocet?? I know every time I am in the hospital, they give me IV Dilaudid (sp?) then send me home on Vic or Perc.

You don't have to reply. I have taken up so much of your time today!

[withak]

wow...what a great thread. this is what it's all about, guys. reaching out in honesty and replying in honesty. thank God "sobeit" responded when they did! as soon as i started reading your posts, dontlikeit, i was getting ready to immediatly respond, and then saw sobeit did. like you said, what a life saver.

i, too, am an addict to pills (not like you, like sobeit), and from the outside, you wouldn't pick me out as one in a billion years. i take very good care of my hygeine, i have 4 children, i am very involved in theirs and my husbands life and my church's functions, etc. you name it. so, when i finally was truthful to myself about taking the pills for the "high" and not b/c of the pain (which was gone at this point), the person most shocked was me. i still find it very hard to believe i have come to rely on them to simply function (aka: avoid what you're going thru right now). finally, i called my doctor and asked them if i could make an appt. asap b/c i had some serious questions about my meds (i was on vicodin 7.5/750). they got me in within a day or two. once i was there and alone in the room with the doc., i told him i had something to tell him that was very hard for me to say, but none the less, had to be honest. i told him i believed i had reached a point where i was depending on the pain medicine more than i should be. he was so thrilled and pleased to hear me confess that. he said 99.9% of patients are doing the exact opposite and asking for MORE meds/ stronger ones. to see a patient admit they have a problem, whether they brought it on themselves (like me) or found themselves there accidentally (like you), is very rare to doctor's and they seem to be extremely understanding and sympathetic. mine was, at least. i was so worried that he was going to make me take methadone or whatever it is they prescribe "addicts" to get them off their drugs. he did something i feel would work really good for you. he wrote me a normal prescription for the vicodin, starting me out on what the last strongest dose was i had been taking, and then wrote it to where i would be taking smaller and smaller amounts until i was finally out and my body wouldn't be shocked by it. if you were an "addict", as in, would do anything for pain meds (like most of us here), that method wouldn't work for you b/c you would ignore the weaning advice and just continue taking them for the high. you would leave his office just happy you finagled more pain meds out of him. BUT, since you're one of the very rare "legit" pain med users, then i think that method would work very well for you. that way, you would be taking them just as he recommends, and you would be avoiding this horrible feeling you're going thru right now when you've finished them.

you brought up a good point about what you should do if/when the pain comes back and you need the meds again. i really believe that you could still take whatever it is you've been needing to take, since you WILL need it if you have surgery and there's pretty much no way out of that. but if it's the same doctor that would be writing you the prescriptions post-op as the one you will be potentially talking to about possibly weaning you off of them, then you could confront him before hand and explain that you WILL need the vicodin but are hoping he could also include a "weaning" prescription in case when you come off of them you start to experience this again. of course, everything is so much easier said than done. but maybe you could take some of this advice and tweak it to fit your particular scenario.

but i gotta tell ya, we ALL hate being where you are right now. since becoming hooked, and mine started legitimatly (sp?) like most do, i have tried several times to stop and it's the feeling you're having right now that makes me go back. what i usually experience is massive lack of concentration, major fatigue, cold sweats, and diarrhea. it really does feel like the flu. all i can do in those times is lay on the sofa and watch tv, hoping to fall asleep. something i've taken in the past to help me sleep is benadryl. i would take 50mg's. of course you know that's over the counter. but it's supposed to cause drowsiness and at that point, i wasn't in touch with my doctor about anything and was willing to try anything i could. maybe you could try that if you have reservations about calling your doc. it might work if you're body usually responds to the warnings on those over-the-counter sleep aids.

the good thing is like sobeit said...once the drug is completely out of your system and your body starts functioning with what's naturally produced in it, you'll be back to normal (no more w/d). you won't have that lingering mental addiction like us, where we have to fight the urge to get some more, etc.

i'm really hopeful for you. you made a great decision by reaching out and asking, you've been very honest, and you genuinely want to stop taking the vic's/perc's. you're in a win-win situation. and you're NOT an addict just b/c you're experiencing w/d. you're a NORMAL human being with a NORMAL human being's body. you have no control over how your body is going to respond without a drug it's come to learn to function with. this is simply your body readjusting itself. and when it does, you'll be back to good.

if you don't mind, drop us a line and let us know how things turned out!

[dontlikeit]

WOW withak:

I SO appreciate your post. I am greatly encouraged that this whole thing is my bodies response.

How brave you are to have confronted your doctor! I know that is the RIGHT thing to do, but at this point I am NOT brave. I already have 2 days into this and was thinking that I might just delay the inevitable by taking the weaning dose. I'm not sure, but I am going to think on that tonight. I really wish I knew what the future holds in terms of how long this process goes on.

Well, I have sure learned things today. I don't think it is possible (probably the Advil I have taken) but I am feeling about 15 percent better tonight. I am probably just fooling myself - wishful thinking that is.

Thank you so much for your post! I pray you will stay with it!

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by withak

wow...what a great thread. this is what it's all about, guys. reaching out in honesty and replying in honesty. thank God "sobeit" responded when they did! as soon as i started reading your posts, dontlikeit, i was getting ready to immediatly respond, and then saw sobeit did. like you said, what a life saver.

i, too, am an addict to pills (not like you, like sobeit), and from the outside, you wouldn't pick me out as one in a billion years. i take very good care of my hygeine, i have 4 children, i am very involved in theirs and my husbands life and my church's functions, etc. you name it. so, when i finally was truthful to myself about taking the pills for the "high" and not b/c of the pain (which was gone at this point), the person most shocked was me. i still find it very hard to believe i have come to rely on them to simply function (aka: avoid what you're going thru right now). finally, i called my doctor and asked them if i could make an appt. asap b/c i had some serious questions about my meds (i was on vicodin 7.5/750). they got me in within a day or two. once i was there and alone in the room with the doc., i told him i had something to tell him that was very hard for me to say, but none the less, had to be honest. i told him i believed i had reached a point where i was depending on the pain medicine more than i should be. he was so thrilled and pleased to hear me confess that. he said 99.9% of patients are doing the exact opposite and asking for MORE meds/ stronger ones. to see a patient admit they have a problem, whether they brought it on themselves (like me) or found themselves there accidentally (like you), is very rare to doctor's and they seem to be extremely understanding and sympathetic. mine was, at least. i was so worried that he was going to make me take methadone or whatever it is they prescribe "addicts" to get them off their drugs. he did something i feel would work really good for you. he wrote me a normal prescription for the vicodin, starting me out on what the last strongest dose was i had been taking, and then wrote it to where i would be taking smaller and smaller amounts until i was finally out and my body wouldn't be shocked by it. if you were an "addict", as in, would do anything for pain meds (like most of us here), that method wouldn't work for you b/c you would ignore the weaning advice and just continue taking them for the high. you would leave his office just happy you finagled more pain meds out of him. BUT, since you're one of the very rare "legit" pain med users, then i think that method would work very well for you. that way, you would be taking them just as he recommends, and you would be avoiding this horrible feeling you're going thru right now when you've finished them.

you brought up a good point about what you should do if/when the pain comes back and you need the meds again. i really believe that you could still take whatever it is you've been needing to take, since you WILL need it if you have surgery and there's pretty much no way out of that. but if it's the same doctor that would be writing you the prescriptions post-op as the one you will be potentially talking to about possibly weaning you off of them, then you could confront him before hand and explain that you WILL need the vicodin but are hoping he could also include a "weaning" prescription in case when you come off of them you start to experience this again. of course, everything is so much easier said than done. but maybe you could take some of this advice and tweak it to fit your particular scenario.

but i gotta tell ya, we ALL hate being where you are right now. since becoming hooked, and mine started legitimatly (sp?) like most do, i have tried several times to stop and it's the feeling you're having right now that makes me go back. what i usually experience is massive lack of concentration, major fatigue, cold sweats, and diarrhea. it really does feel like the flu. all i can do in those times is lay on the sofa and watch tv, hoping to fall asleep. something i've taken in the past to help me sleep is benadryl. i would take 50mg's. of course you know that's over the counter. but it's supposed to cause drowsiness and at that point, i wasn't in touch with my doctor about anything and was willing to try anything i could. maybe you could try that if you have reservations about calling your doc. it might work if you're body usually responds to the warnings on those over-the-counter sleep aids.

the good thing is like sobeit said...once the drug is completely out of your system and your body starts functioning with what's naturally produced in it, you'll be back to normal (no more w/d). you won't have that lingering mental addiction like us, where we have to fight the urge to get some more, etc.

i'm really hopeful for you. you made a great decision by reaching out and asking, you've been very honest, and you genuinely want to stop taking the vic's/perc's. you're in a win-win situation. and you're NOT an addict just b/c you're experiencing w/d. you're a NORMAL human being with a NORMAL human being's body. you have no control over how your body is going to respond without a drug it's come to learn to function with. this is simply your body readjusting itself. and when it does, you'll be back to good.

if you don't mind, drop us a line and let us know how things turned out!

You really put everything together so eloquently withak! When you fixed the problem rather than exacerbating it (by talking to the doc) it was almost a life changing decision- no need to sound dramatic, but really, we all know the dismal dark hole these pills create in our lives, so I'm very proud of you. You also gave dontlikeit fantastic advice and I couldn't agree more. You are in a difficult situtation where you don't have the luxury to isolate yourself when you feel badly because I'm sure you r the super mom who is always on the go, but I also imagine that your family is the best reminder to not use. Isn't it strange, we see people every day and as you said yourself, you would never know who are addicted on pills/drugs. Just shows to never assume by appearance! Trust me, if anyone saw me, you will never guess...have a great night guys

[SoBeit]

Hi, I hope all is doing well. Now I'm hoping for some advice. I've been taking subutex and fluoxetine (prozac) for the past month and the problem is I get extremely tired. Yesterday I slept from 8pm until 6:30 am, which is an anomaly, but in general, I do frequently tire MUCH more than before. Has anyone felt the same and how soon does it pass? On a different but positive note, I cleary realized today that not being on oxys has given me a new motivation to tackle work. This is ironic b/c a big "rationale" for taking oxys in the first place was to create an imaginary shield between reality and not caring( I hope this make sense?) .You see, I'm in sales so I get a lot of rejections in not the most preferable way but when on Oxys I really didn;t care. But I realize now that because I think clearer, business is better. For example, I rarely make ridiculous errors in my e-mails compared to when I was "high". My "pitch" is also far more coherent and in it of itself, makes my work more interesting/fun. It took me by surprise that work is actually BETTER sober. Don't get me wrong, I'm still in struggle. Now I'm tapering my subutex intake, which makes my body ache a little, but I keep thinking "discomfort=detox" and I take it day by day. Anyway, if anyone who has exp with my tiredness and/or can share any exp regarding what I wrote above, PLEASE let know. thanks guys, it will be very comforting...

[mpvt]

What time are you taking the prozac and is it the long acting pill????If you can take as close to bed time as you can.Try also eating high protien foods for a couple months to get some extra energy.Try drinking the sport drinks like gatorade and stay away from the so called caffeine ladened energy drinks (just bad all around for you).Good luck,,,,,Dave

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by mpvt

What time are you taking the prozac and is it the long acting pill????If you can take as close to bed time as you can.Try also eating high protien foods for a couple months to get some extra energy.Try drinking the sport drinks like gatorade and stay away from the so called caffeine ladened energy drinks (just bad all around for you).Good luck,,,,,Dave

WHat a simple advice but a great one. I don't know if they are long acting but I take them after breakfast around 7:30am. Why? Honestly? I'm thinking like an addict even with prozac-I'll take them in the morning so that I'll feel "happier" during the day. Yeah, pretty ridiculous, I know. So taking it after work makes more sense. And re: caffeine, theoretically I'm totally with you, but coffee and diet pepsi gives me too much of a joy to quit, ya know the cost/benefit calculation.Well, it feels great when someone responds and I'm so glad I found this site. Thank you mpvt

[Friends10]

Well, since no one ever writes me back, I am still gonna write.Oh bmtv writes me.I am going for my second epidural steroid shot on the 19th.Then will be given another month's suply of vicodine.If this second shot does not help, I will have to have surgery.Not to thrilled about that.It's by the L-5 S1 which is so close to the spine.I am sure they will do a good job.I will miss a quite a bit of work.A hoping I get more vicodine.But I know this will end soonI have gotten use to them as a way of dealing with day to day events as many of you can relate.When I try to strecth them out for the four hours, I can barely do it.I will run out before the shot which sucks.I have xanax and all my other bi-polar meds, but they just don't fill the void the vicodine does.I have always had an addictive personality especialy with pils.I posted this a few weeks ago.
So, to sum this up, I am scared of the thought of having surgery, the thought of not getting anymore vicodine, and my addiction.Anyone wanna talk please do.

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by Friends10

Well, since no one ever writes me back, I am still gonna write.Oh bmtv writes me.I am going for my second epidural steroid shot on the 19th.Then will be given another month's suply of vicodine.If this second shot does not help, I will have to have surgery.Not to thrilled about that.It's by the L-5 S1 which is so close to the spine.I am sure they will do a good job.I will miss a quite a bit of work.A hoping I get more vicodine.But I know this will end soonI have gotten use to them as a way of dealing with day to day events as many of you can relate.When I try to strecth them out for the four hours, I can barely do it.I will run out before the shot which sucks.I have xanax and all my other bi-polar meds, but they just don't fill the void the vicodine does.I have always had an addictive personality especialy with pils.I posted this a few weeks ago.
So, to sum this up, I am scared of the thought of having surgery, the thought of not getting anymore vicodine, and my addiction.Anyone wanna talk please do.

Hi Friends10. I just wanted to write a quick note. I think the reason why not many people replied was not b/c no one cared, but more because you are in a very difficult situatition, with so many variables (surgery/bi-polar) that its hard (at least for me) to give any advice. But the bottom line of struggle with pills, I can certainly relate and I am definitely reading and thinking about what you are going thru. I really hope surgery goes well and your pain goes away and hopefully after that you could be healthy enough to put forth full effort into being vicodine free. But you know what? I took oxys b/c I thought it filled the void but you and I now that it really doesn't and we only TRULY realize this until we r clean. I'm here if you want to talk...

[Friends10]

Thanks SoBeit for answering.Yeah, I know about the void.90% of me wishes I felt that way all day long without using the pills.The bi-polar is stabilized right now because I finally found a great doc. who evaluated all the different meds I took, and tried something new with me.Instantly I was balanced, with the exception of the part of me that wants the pain meds.So, I guess I am not competely balanced.In 92 I was hospitalized for depression and addiction.I got clean and went to meetings for 5 years.We moved and I continued to go to meetings, but felt my life was getting to busy to go.I also don't have a therapist.Which always helped me a lot.Ever since I was young I loved the feeling of being "high".It's the truth.The other truth is remember I said 90% of me could always feel this way, well thats because I wish i could take them forever.I wish they were not so hard to get.I wish one didn't have to be sick in order to get them.Wish, wish ,wish.Well it isn't going to happen and it's gonna end soon and then I will face the awful w/d's.Been there and done them a million times.Then I get another script, take the first one or two and then feel alive again.Well you know the story.Please let's continue to write because we can help each other.I read a lot of the posts that go way back, and there all the same as each one of us.Drugs have got us by the throat.On the 19th I go for a second shot of epidural steroid in my L5s1 facet.If that does not work thats when the doctors will let me know about surgery.So, for now, I pop and pop and use them all up.I don't get another refill until the 19th and i have about 10 left.After tonight I will probably have 8.I have a friend who gives me some to get through till the next fill.She doesn't know of my addiction.If she did she would not give them to me.They are the 7.7 750's and two get me through an hour maybe.I get a lot done when I take them.If I don't I fell no motivation at all.Please write back and thank you for writing me.

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by Friends10

Thanks SoBeit for answering.Yeah, I know about the void.90% of me wishes I felt that way all day long without using the pills.The bi-polar is stabilized right now because I finally found a great doc. who evaluated all the different meds I took, and tried something new with me.Instantly I was balanced, with the exception of the part of me that wants the pain meds.So, I guess I am not competely balanced.In 92 I was hospitalized for depression and addiction.I got clean and went to meetings for 5 years.We moved and I continued to go to meetings, but felt my life was getting to busy to go.I also don't have a therapist.Which always helped me a lot.Ever since I was young I loved the feeling of being "high".It's the truth.The other truth is remember I said 90% of me could always feel this way, well thats because I wish i could take them forever.I wish they were not so hard to get.I wish one didn't have to be sick in order to get them.Wish, wish ,wish.Well it isn't going to happen and it's gonna end soon and then I will face the awful w/d's.Been there and done them a million times.Then I get another script, take the first one or two and then feel alive again.Well you know the story.Please let's continue to write because we can help each other.I read a lot of the posts that go way back, and there all the same as each one of us.Drugs have got us by the throat.On the 19th I go for a second shot of epidural steroid in my L5s1 facet.If that does not work thats when the doctors will let me know about surgery.So, for now, I pop and pop and use them all up.I don't get another refill until the 19th and i have about 10 left.After tonight I will probably have 8.I have a friend who gives me some to get through till the next fill.She doesn't know of my addiction.If she did she would not give them to me.They are the 7.7 750's and two get me through an hour maybe.I get a lot done when I take them.If I don't I fell no motivation at all.Please write back and thank you for writing me.

Hey Friends10. I know exactly what you are taking about. I’ve been struggling with painkillers for the last 7 years of my life. I would say from 2000-2004 I was taking ultrams b/c it was so accessible on the net. Well fortunately for me they stopped shipping the drugs to FL in 2004 so I was forced to quit by tapering then cold turkey. (now I can get it thru the web). So for a few years I was clean and doing really really well until I got a hold of oxys and then, down hill from there. I took them daily for only 7 months but long enough to have a tolerance that I will spend $50 per day and I don’t even want to do the math…s***t. All the shopping I could have done with that money. Anyway, I definitely relate about loving the high. I can also completely relate about being motivated. I’ve been on subutex for the last month and a half and since then have become a hermit in my room. Before when I was high, I would exercise a lot, be really active socially, and now I am in a TOTAL slump. I really want to snap out of it, but perhaps not enough b/c I haven’t changed my behavior. But the good thing is work is better b/c I can think clearly and I have more money in my bank. I also stopped something I knew could not last forever but rather hurt me more and more every month. For you I know it’s harder. I hope it doesn’t come down to surgery but if that will completely take away your pain then…anything that would take away your pain I’m sure is a blessing. I’m glad to hear your bi-polar symptoms have subsided and you are stable. You have a lot to tackle and despite the problems I think you are strong person but dealing with far more obsticles than others usually need to bear. Please take small steps and don’t overwhelm yourself. And in the interim I’m happy that I can be part of your support system, albeit in a very small way.

[Davey K]

Hey Friends10,

Since I had the surgery you may be getting I thought I'd weigh in on it. I've had many epidurals and they do nothing for me. If you're talking about a microdiscectomy in the L5/S1 region, then I can tell you it's a fairly routine operation that only takes about 2 hours or so. They put you out, and then you wake up going "where am I" and you eat some jello and then they let you go home - usually the same day but there's a good chance you'll spend the night. Obviously, you'll need a ride. The searing pain should go away almost immediately and the recovery time is very quick.

That's the good news. Here's the bad news - there's a chance, like in my case, where it won't work, and you'll have a re-herniation of the disc. This most often happens to men in their 40's, who have about a 10% chance of failure. They usually try the same operation again, but then you have a 20% chance of that one failing too. At that point we're talking more serious measures. I gleaned this from reading websites so if there are any doctors who have better info please correct me - it's the only way I'll learn!

I just wrote this to tell you the operation is nothing to be scared of, it'll be over before you know it.

If there is one thing this whole experience has taught me about life it is this...

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, BECAUSE THINGS CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE

Any more questions, let me know,
Take Care,
Davey




Well, since no one ever writes me back, I am still gonna write.Oh bmtv writes me.I am going for my second epidural steroid shot on the 19th.Then will be given another month's suply of vicodine.If this second shot does not help, I will have to have surgery.Not to thrilled about that.It's by the L-5 S1 which is so close to the spine.I am sure they will do a good job.I will miss a quite a bit of work.A hoping I get more vicodine.But I know this will end soonI have gotten use to them as a way of dealing with day to day events as many of you can relate.When I try to strecth them out for the four hours, I can barely do it.I will run out before the shot which sucks.I have xanax and all my other bi-polar meds, but they just don't fill the void the vicodine does.I have always had an addictive personality especialy with pils.I posted this a few weeks ago.
So, to sum this up, I am scared of the thought of having surgery, the thought of not getting anymore vicodine, and my addiction.Anyone wanna talk please do.

[mpvt]

Hi People:
Sorry I haven't been around much but my wife had a minor work related injury last week and I was tending to her.Anyway,Sobeit. I drink coffee and I'm addicted to Pepsi.What I was referring to was those energy drinks like Red Bull ect.How is your prozac working at night time???
Friends10,You go in this Thursday for your epidural injection so good luck and keep us up to date on how your feeling.
As for me,I see my doctor onthe 25th of July and I will be dropping another 20mgs to 260mgs\day of methadone.I'll keep you guys\gals up to date on that too.
Anyway,I'm back to my regular scheduale so I'll be reading the forum everyday.Have a good week everyone......Dave(MPVT)

[SoBeit]

Sorry to hear of your wife’s injury, but glad that it’s only minor. Regarding your suggestion on prozac, not enough time lapsed for me to really tell the difference but I am shifting the time from before to after work. And, yes, I do avoid energy drinks. I think the prozac is finally kicking in (I started early June), but I’m feeling more “normal” these days. I’m also supposed to taper my subutex intake to 8mg per day for the next two weeks (from 12mg the past two) so I’m getting closer to being drug free. It’s a nice accomplishment for me. I wrote my brief history above but in between years I did vicodin, loritabs and coke here and there so to be completely drug free and continue to live that way will be a challenge. But with oxys I feel like I learned my lesson. I never went to a detox dr. before, but oxys were too strong for me to quit w/o help. Anyway, nice to have you back and thanks for welcoming me into this circle.

[Friends10]

Thanks MPvt.Sorry to hear your wife got hurt.Is she gonna be ok?I swear we are always getting hurt.So, you're weaning of the methadone?How's that going for you?How long were you on it?Was it used to get you off another addictive painkiller?Yeah, I go on Thursday.So, still keeping positive.To Davey K, I thank you for the advice.I looked up the microdiscectomy and it sounds like it might put me out of work for awhile.I need to get a new job.I work in the kitchen of an elementary school.It is a hard job.Fast pace, a lot of heavy lifting, truck deliveries, ice cold freezers, etc.Need I say more.If I go back without surgery it will just get worse.If I have surgery, it will put me out of work a few days, and then I will be back in that hysteria and could make things worse for my back.I love the people I work with but for my health I think it's time for a change.How are you SoBeit how is the prozac doing?Ok everyone have another good week.Feel good.One day at a time.

[ComingHome]

Hi, I hope everyone is doing well. I'm using a small amount currently (1 or 2 pills a day). I feel like I have it under control, but deep down I know I need to stop. Coming on here and BS'ing everyone or BS'ing whoever is not good, but the important thing is that I'm honest with myself. If I'm BS'ing you, I'm really just fooling myself if I'm believing the BS. I could come on here and set the stage for upcoming painful events (physical, emotional, and mental) so that I can have an excuse when my usage increases, but I would only be tricking myself. I don't have to prove anything to anybody but myself. Self honesty is the only way to beat addiction. I was clean for 11 months previously, and I didn't slip until I started lying to myself about other things and setting the stage full of excuses about why I should relapse.

Hope that helps somebody somewhere.

ComingHome

[mpvt]

Hi: Thanks for the posts and my wife is back at work as of today so thank you for your warm thoughts.
I've been on methadone for pain\addiction for 5 years.I was actively addicted to a mumber of different opiates for 23 years.I started out on propoxyphene (Darvon,642's) then to demerol for a good 10 years (10 50mgs demerol pills every 3 hours).After having a demerol induced siezure I switched to oxycontin (8 crushed up 40mg oxycontins every 3-4 hours) and a few others like dilaudid and fentanyl until finally ending up on ms contin (sustained release morphine).By the time I started methadone I was taking 3,000 mgs of crushed up ms contin a day and I was still craving.I was a total pig that couldn't be filled and it scared me everyday as I thought for sure I was going to die of an o.d. .After awhile you kinda think "well maybe an overdose death wouldn't be bad.At least it would free me from this terrible life I'm living".So I was definately on the donswing of my trip through addiction and I'm sure I would likely be dead by now if I hadn't gone on methadone.
So I started at 400mgs a day of liquid methadone which I took daily at my local pharmacy.I did this everday until last summer when I felt that I had been clean long enough that my receptors had gone back to their original shape and I could likely come down a bit.So I started coming down 20mgs a month.I stayed at 300 mgs until last month when I again started to come down 20mgs.So I'm at 280mgs and next week I'll jump down to 260mgs.
I have no intention of coming off methadone as I'm pretty sure I'm going to need "opiate replacement therapy" for the rest of my life.Anyway that's a quick rundown of my opiate abuse\addiction.......Dave

[tinkers1]

MPVT,

What is wrong with redbull?
I a'm a complete redbull addict ever sence I quit the pills and even before that I would drink redbull to try to get energy and now I just love them I dont think they work very well at giving me energy any more I just cant stop buying them I'm hooked

[kezapeg]

Originally Posted by Davey K

Hey Friends10,

Since I had the surgery you may be getting I thought I'd weigh in on it. I've had many epidurals and they do nothing for me. If you're talking about a microdiscectomy in the L5/S1 region, then I can tell you it's a fairly routine operation that only takes about 2 hours or so. They put you out, and then you wake up going "where am I" and you eat some jello and then they let you go home - usually the same day but there's a good chance you'll spend the night. Obviously, you'll need a ride. The searing pain should go away almost immediately and the recovery time is very quick.

That's the good news. Here's the bad news - there's a chance, like in my case, where it won't work, and you'll have a re-herniation of the disc. This most often happens to men in their 40's, who have about a 10% chance of failure. They usually try the same operation again, but then you have a 20% chance of that one failing too. At that point we're talking more serious measures. I gleaned this from reading websites so if there are any doctors who have better info please correct me - it's the only way I'll learn!

I just wrote this to tell you the operation is nothing to be scared of, it'll be over before you know it.

If there is one thing this whole experience has taught me about life it is this...

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS, BECAUSE THINGS CAN ALWAYS GET WORSE

Any more questions, let me know,
Take Care,
Davey




Well, since no one ever writes me back, I am still gonna write.Oh bmtv writes me.I am going for my second epidural steroid shot on the 19th.Then will be given another month's suply of vicodine.If this second shot does not help, I will have to have surgery.Not to thrilled about that.It's by the L-5 S1 which is so close to the spine.I am sure they will do a good job.I will miss a quite a bit of work.A hoping I get more vicodine.But I know this will end soonI have gotten use to them as a way of dealing with day to day events as many of you can relate.When I try to strecth them out for the four hours, I can barely do it.I will run out before the shot which sucks.I have xanax and all my other bi-polar meds, but they just don't fill the void the vicodine does.I have always had an addictive personality especialy with pils.I posted this a few weeks ago.
So, to sum this up, I am scared of the thought of having surgery, the thought of not getting anymore vicodine, and my addiction.Anyone wanna talk please do.

Hi there mate,
Ah. I'll speak to you mate. Hows things going? I can completely understand your plight with the vicodin. I've been using painkillers of a varying sort for about 8 years maybe longer. I have earlier memories back 16years but not regular usage back then. Anyway i've been clean of codeine of any description now for 5 comnig on 6 days and its been hell. Still is in fact but i feel i'm getting there. Decided to stop all usage. So currently taking nothing in replacement. HARD is an understatement. Lots of hot baths etc.
Vicodin is a lethal med. i know i've abused it for the 8 years alongside codeine phosphate/Speed etc. I could take up to 30mg tablets x11 as much as twice/day on top of the codeine 30mg x11 up to 3 times/day!! The vicodin or dihydrocodeine as its called in the UK was the med i loved most. I'd take 12omg SR DF118's x3 sometimes twice/day. Unfortunately these meds are my husbands and i got his prescription when he never needed them!!!!
All i can say is hang on in there. Try to break free from them. You'll feel so much better mate.
Take care
Kerry.

[SoBeit]

Originally Posted by ComingHome

Hi, I hope everyone is doing well. I'm using a small amount currently (1 or 2 pills a day). I feel like I have it under control, but deep down I know I need to stop. Coming on here and BS'ing everyone or BS'ing whoever is not good, but the important thing is that I'm honest with myself. If I'm BS'ing you, I'm really just fooling myself if I'm believing the BS. I could come on here and set the stage for upcoming painful events (physical, emotional, and mental) so that I can have an excuse when my usage increases, but I would only be tricking myself. I don't have to prove anything to anybody but myself. Self honesty is the only way to beat addiction. I was clean for 11 months previously, and I didn't slip until I started lying to myself about other things and setting the stage full of excuses about why I should relapse.

Hope that helps somebody somewhere.

ComingHome

I read what ComingHome wrote and she is absolutely correct. So I took a moment to reflect on how I REALLY see my situation and these are my honest thoughts: I can honestly say that I am happy to “break free” as Kezapeg says, from the daily grind of taking the pills(no pun intended.haha) I can honestly say it sucks that I have to relearn getting pleasure from my “own” endorphins. I cannot honestly say that I will never start using again. But I can truly say in order for that to not occur, I have to be very conscious of the good that comes from being clean. It’s been a while since I really asked myself and it’s a great reminder as to why I am where I am today.

So, yes, it did help me- thank you Cominghome...