[Friends10]

Hi,
I am two days away from the injection and am very nervous.I don't like needles, aspecially huge ones and that it will be put where I can't see them do it.Anyone out there read my story?Can anyone relate with my growing up addiction?Anyone had this injection?Someone reply, I am dying to hear from someone.

[mpvt]

I'm not quite sure I understand you.What injection are you referring too........Dave

[sick0fitall]

I wish there were some other way for me to go besides off the street, I got started on these things from a car accident that i had a few years ago. I got prescribed low dose hydrocodone and percocet and started talking to people about them and made a lot of connections. I needed them for pain when I had the accident but I just take them now because i'm afraid of withdrawling. I wish i had the luxury of weening myself off of them, I can't ever get my hands on enough to set up a regiment program.. yet I still manage to find some every day (the last day I can remember that I haven't taken pain killers is over a year ago). I'm not worried about the quality of the pain killers i'm getting because I know the people i'm getting them from and they go to legitimate doctors for them, I'm just worried about the fact that I'm about to get kicked out of my apartment because I spend more money on pills than I do rent.

[Friends10]

To mptv I stated what type of injection I am having in my first post.I will tell you it's an epidural steroidal by the L-5 facet/spine.The injection will go into the nerve.I am just scared about having a needle in my back, and especially where the position of the injection will be.I just need from you all some comfort and support because I am not getting any support from my husband.

[ComingHome]

SickOfItAll, I have been reading these boards for a long time, and I have not seen any long term success of suboxone. Typically, I see people raging about how great it is since they don't have to take handfuls of pills anymore, but if you ask them, they are usually in the first 6 months of taking it. The cravings come back very often and there are other side effects. I am not a doctor, so you might want to ask a doctor about it. I would also suggest reading some blogs in detail about it. Go back months, and you will see what I am talking about.

I have been on and off this board for a while now, and I have seen many people come and go. The latest group seemed like they got a few months clean, and then they all just disappeared (like me) LOL. The disease of addiction is very hard to beat, but it can be conquered one day at a time. I am presently getting educated on the disease through meetings and literature. Not everyone likes the meetings, but that is about the only thing I have seen with long term success. Even there, the success rate is probably below 5%, but still that adds up to thousands of clean addicts.

Coming Home

[KyAngel44]

well.. little update... im going on hr 68 and determined to get thru this.. the weaning down for 2 weeks has helped.. sleep is still not there but getting a little better.. leg and arm cramps are a little better.. tummy... dont think that will ever get better..eating.. slowly things are starting to taste better..energy level.. be glad when I get some cause it just doesnt seem to get there ..mind set.. will be a long time to get away from the cravings..I wanted to cave in last night but I didnt.. I knew I could get some but I didnt.. I stuck it out.. and right proud of myself..so thats how things are going for me so far.. I know I will make it thru the day again, I got to have faith in myself..another factor is no funds to get.. that helps when thats taken from you..so I wont take up to much of ya time so say a prayer as I do almost every hr.. Lord help me thru another hr, Im going to do this, I have to do this.. for me..anyways everyone that is going thru this I wish you the best and I will have you in my prayers to conquer this..we can do this.. LordHelpMe.... where are you?? havent seen any post from you and was wondering how you were doing? take care all..

[bkfizz]

i am almost 3 wks. off suboxone (after tapering in about 6 wks). i feel really blessed that i feel this good. i am still going to my aftercare program plus, open aa and ca meetings. you still need a support system not to use. i am very happy that i did the sub thing. i would still be using.i am still having uncomfortable moments but, i don't want to go thur "that" again. i have been addicted on and off for 30 yrs.

[KyAngel44]

Well another day I can add to being clean.. Im on 92 hrs with no hydros.. Last night was a hard night. slept maybe 2 hrs.. been up and down and the mind trys to play tricks on ya.. all I wanted to do was just take 1 but I wouldnt cave.. I have made it this far I know I can make it.. weekend comming up and that will be my undoing unless I can hold on to this willpower, and every day ,heck every hour it gets harder to fight but its a fight I want so badly to win..I have pretty much secluded myself from the outside world till I get thru this ..I did manage to cook a pretty decent supper last night and I ate so maybe today I will have energy if I could just get some rest, that seems to be the main thing that is so hard on ones body..my son is moving closer and he has no idea what Im going through and it would destroy him to know his mom is back on the pills but Im trying so hard for not only myself but for him and my grandson.. so this weekend maybe with helping them move I can get through this.. i know my mind will be saying just go get one and we can get this move done but I cant.. I just cant.. I tell myself this now just hope I can keep telling myself this..well just my thoughts and wanted to post and talk.. hope everyone is hanging on to the road to recovery.. its a long road but I know we all can do it ...take care and have strength.. Im with you all going through the same thing ..

[bobbyzworld123]

Hey KYAngel,
You're on day 4 and you're doing great!! Please stick with it!! I tried to quit for the first time back on January 20th and used this forum as a great tool to help me. I think I lasted almost 4 weeks. I regret going back to using. I hate it and I will be quitting again soon, this time for good. What I didnt know then is that it takes time for the brain and the body to start functioning properly. Fighting pain on it's own, and being naturally happy. That's why I gave in, I didn't know that it would get better in time. I thought i would go through 3-5 days of withdrawal and then be fine. It's not that easy. Now that I know that, I'll know what to expect and be more patient the next time I quit. I may try for the second time as early as this weekend.. Good luck and use this forum, it's a great help!!

Bobby

[harrietfly]

You can find a doctor that offers suboxone in your area by going to this website:

http://http://www.naabt.org/

I had my first appointment yesterday with a doctor that I found on that website. I highly recommend either signing up for a confidential profile or you can search for doctors using the zip code search. I choose to create a profile and I had 3 doctors contact me (by email) at the end of the second day. Everything was confidential, using this website I was just a number and the email sent by the doctor was generated from their website, no names, no calls, nothing. The email I got was a quick note from the doctor with a number to call to set up an appointment. I spoke to one office and the lady answering their phones had very bad phone manors, so I called the second office and they were very understanding and compassionate people, they made me feel comfortable and I made an appointment, it has worked out great for me, I am now off the pain meds and on my way to clean and healthy living.

Good luck to you.

[ComingHome]

BKfizz, you did it the right way. The only time I have seen Suboxone work is when it is used in conjunction with meetings. Congrats, and stick with it!

ComingHome

[KyAngel44]

Here I am again.. I have made it through another 24 hrs(total 116!!!!!) havent seen this many hours clean in MONTHS!. the last 24 hrs has felt like the 2nd 24 hrs.. achy.. sweaty..tummy troubles..headache from he--..but I got through it.. my mind though is what the biggest deal is.. I'm constantly craving them..havent gave in though.. I have made it this far I dont want to go through another 116 hrs of misery and he--!!.. I know I been counting by hours instead of days cause it has been an hourly struggle to get to the days of struggle..I know I can get through this, I have to get through this I cant keep putting my body through this on for months off for weeks and back and forth.. its eventually gonna shut down on me and I still have alot of life in me(even though at times it dont feel like it) I know the energy will slowly work back.. food is starting to taste better finally..and I have been doing more around the house then usual.. sleep??? it will be so nice to finally sleep through the night but I know that wont happen probably for a while..well just checking in and letting everyone know I made it another day... now onto the next 24 hrs.. I can do this.. I have to do this.. I will do this.. take care everyone and hang on we will conquer this demon..

[mpvt]

Hi: The epidural injection you're referring to works very well.Actually it either works or it doesn't.It's a very simple procedure and take only minutes.I hope it works for you.Good luck......Dave

[Junkie781]

Quick update:

Starting day 4 with no pills, feeling pretty good. Hope everyone's doing ok.

Ky - that's great that you've made it 116 hours! Keep on going, it does get better....sleep will return eventually. These opiates change your body chemistry and it affects us in all sorts of ways that take time to return to normal when you stop taking them...they don't call it "dependency" for nothing, right?

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that reading your struggle has been very inspirational and has reminded me how I felt the first time I ever came here and tried to get clean.

Hang in there!

[Friends10]

to mptv,
Thanks for your support.I had it this past Thursday.It was fast.The shot does not hurt, but I am still having a lot of pain bending and in my leg.I go back to the doc on Tuesday.It may take a while for this shot to kick in or if it doesn't help I will have to get another one.Hey do you know anything about Ultram?Is it addictive?

[mpvt]

Hi: If you haven't gotten any relief yet then you likely won't and they can try again.I think they can give you up to 3 injections in a one year period.It's a matter of them hitting right spot,if they do then you will notice reief almost immediately.
As for Ultam (tramadol), it is billed as a non-narcotic non-addictive pain killer with the pain killing strength only of Tylenol#3.This drug has caused nothing but addiction problems for alot of the chronic pain suffers who have taken it for a long time.As I said before it only has the strength of a Tylenol#3 and they refer to this in their little booklet you get with them.
Tramadol can cause seizures if you take to much which is a huge red flag if you ask me.I don't and wouldn't recommend this drug to anyone.
People trying to get off it are having terrible withdrawls and cravings.
All in all it's a good drug to stay away from.
I'm a big supporter of long acting opiates for chronic pain like MS Contin, Oxycontin,Duragesic Patch (fentanyl) and methadone only if the patients tolerance has gotten to high and the other long lasting opiates aren't working anymore.Good luck.....Dave

[Davey K]

Thanks for the encouragement; I've had epidurals before but they didn't do a whole lot. This one seems like it may be working a little better.

But right now, that's the least of my worries... I had to go to the emergency room last night with chest pains. I figured it was a combination of anxiety and just being generally unhealthy, but after laying down for a bit the pain and discomfort were not going away. So I went in, not wanting to take a risk on it being something real bad. The doc decided to hold me overnight and do a series of blood tests to check for whatever enzyme it is that increases when your heart isn't getting oxygen. Fortunately, the tests came back negative, but this is a wake up call for me. I still need to go back this week and do a treadmill test, but, needless to say, it was very scary.

I know this is probably not a good thing to say on this particular forum, but right now hydrocodone addiction is the least of my problems. Like they say in AA - "first things first." I have been really out of shape since the whole back thing started; doing any sort of running, jogging, or even long walks is impossible. Of course, me continuing to smoke is not helping, and my eating habits are fairly attrocious. This episode last night is what I can expect from my life if I don't get my health in order. So maybe I should be on the stop smoking forum, the eating right forum, the pain management forum, etc. etc.

I suppose the first thing to do is to talk to my doctor and get going on those things. I really can't be thinking about getting off pain meds at this point. I mean, I can think about it, but it's not the number one priority right now.

I have some reading to do to catch up on this thread. Sounds like a lot of people are making real progress! Keep it up and good luck to us all.

-David

[tinkers1]

ALL,

I have been on sub for over 1 year now and let me tell you it has been a life saver for me and my wife I have been posting on here for over 1.5 yrs now under tinkers or tinkers1 I was strung out on pain killers for around 8 yrs or so you name it I took it as many of you are the same I almost lost every thing many times over I'm now in chapter13 and have been for about 3yrs because of all the dumb things that I have done sub is great for all of you looking for some miracle cure its not there and the tapper good luck it doesn't work for most people I have tryed alot of things from energy pills, drinks herbs and so on none work but sub I felt like ******************** when I went to see the doctor and with one hr I was playing ball with my kids if there is a miracle cure it is sub that is a fact. To all you that are where I was god bless you you can do it with help and determination and if you can get sub do it and don't rush to get of it you are just setting up to fail. good luck I will try to check this board a little more if anyone needs some help

[LORDHELPME7721]

hey there Kangel.. I'm still here. full of shame, but i'm here. I hope you dont think i'm so aweful the way I feel. I'm sure i'm in good company...but i am at my all time max dosage right now...now i take 7 norco in a single day. 2 in the morn. 1.5 at lunch...1.5 in the evening..then 2 again later in the evening. somethin like that. what sucks is that i know the feeling will never be the '"GOOD" FEELING like I get in the morning. I only get the GOOD feeling in the morning after a long nights sleep and trying to make it to 12-16hours, then I take a few and thefeeling is good for an hour at best....but then its downhill al day, no matter how many i take....I think some of what I go through is withdrawls, but alot of things seem to me like I got major problems with my bones and my heart. but its probably w/d symptoms. my body does not know what normal is.So on this board, I have done the oposite of what I planned to do.. in fact I am now taking MORE then when i started. but again, I am back here and giong to try try try try!!!! Please pray for me and help me to at least cut back!! Thank you so much for not judging me! Love all you guys!

[Friends10]

Hey mptv, today I went for my follow up.Told doc I feel worse than before shot.He set me up for another one in 2 weeks.If that one does not work, he "suggested", I go back to my orthopedic, and then we discuss the last solution according to him, surgery.It is still early yet, maybe the first shot will work.Maybe the second one will.Before any surgery on me, I will check out all other options.Got my refill on vic. today and that made me feel good.I wish I could just take that instead of shots and surgery.I know thats the addiction talking, but it sure felt good to not have pain for a few hours.As far as the ultram, it did nothing for me.Keep in touch.
I HOPE ALL HAVE A GOOD JULY 4TH

[crimson]

Hi, this is my first time writing in a forum, let alone regarding my pill addiction. In response to "sickofit" and "ComingHome", I, too, am only in the beginning stage of recovery, but I can also relate to sickofit's curiosity.

Compared to my feeling of helplessness and FEAR of addiction to Oxys, Subutex has been nothing but an improvement to my life and outlook of my future. It pleasantly surprised me when getting subutex because of its well rounded therapy- i.e., aside from talking to the Dr.,he perscribed prozac and clonazepam to elevate my mood and subdue anxiety, both mentally and physically. My initial doctor’s visit cost $250 and then $75 thereafter-meeting either 2 weeks or one month later. Because subutex is not covered under insurance (the other drugs are), I spend about $130 for 25 pills (I take 1 1/2 pill per day).

Now I am at a stage where I am weaning off of subutex very gradually. It’s NOT easy but compared to where I was before with subutex- piece of cake…really. If I already took my recommended amount of subutex and I begin to feel anxious, I take clonazepam to calm down. All I can say is that I was totally freighted of my addictions to Oxys. They are so potent that I though I could never quit without professional assistance that I couldn't afford. But now, not only is it affordable, I know I can beat it in privacy without missing work and social functions because I feel “normal” with no w/d. Psychological issues are a completely different subject and returning to a normal brain chemistry, I think will take considerably longer than getting the drugs out my system.

[Davey K]

hey all!

Well, good news for a change; I did my treadmill EKG test and I'm OK. Besides from being old, out of shape, smoking too much and eating horribly I'm just fine!!

But, as I said, this is a wake-up call for me. Laying in the emergency room with wires glued to me and tubes stuck in my arm gave me a glimpse of what my future holds if I don't deal with my health problems.

So, first off is the one addiction I've had the hardest time kicking; cigarettes. Compared to quitting cocaine and alcohol, tobacco has been much harder. But I need to do it.

So I'm not gonna worry too much about the Vics right now. I've got a lot more critical things to deal with - like my disc surgery and getting exercise and quitting smoking and eating better. But the Vic addiction will have to be dealt with sometime.

It does make me angry that, nearly 5 years after quitting alcohol and cocaine, my life STILL revolves around drugs! But these problems did not manifest themselves overnight and I'm glad that nobody told me in the beginning how long this would realistically take, because I probably would have given up.

Good luck to all!
David

[sunshinegal]

Well, as of this evening it has been 72 hours since I last took a lortab. I tried going cold turkey.... but had to go to the ER monday night. You all know the symptoms of withdrawal. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I experienced about 24 hours of puking (dry heaves - ick!) and 24 hours of diarrhea....sorry if TMI. A good 48 hours of the restless, grinding, tingling crawling, from head to toe feeling! Which, even with the meds I'm still feeling a little bit of it. ugh!!!!!! Also... I didn't eat for two days.
Today is much better though... except for the "weak as a kitten" syndrome. Plus I don't have any want, need, or desire for a tab. I don't know if it's because of the meds I'm on or possibly sheer willpower to never take another "devil tab" again. I'm sure it's both.
I am on:
Clonidine 0.1mg twice daily
Klonopin 0.5mg 3x daily
So far so good.... I know it's a long road. Prayers will be appreciated.
Hugs, Trina

[sunshinegal]

btw..... Happy 4th everyone!
It's pouring rain here... so don't know about fireworks..... like I could drag my butt down there anyway! LOL

[crimson]

Sunshinegal- kudos to you, that must have been tough! I'm glad you had some meds to alleviate some of your pain. I guess now is the battle of your mental wants of the tabs rather than your physical needs. But just think that NOTHING good comes out of the addiction except for being broke, worried, scared and unhappy. But detoxing like that took a lot of courage and while I don't know you, I'm proud of you- really...

[patmamma]

Hey everyone. Some of you might remember me, I have been on and off of this thread for a while. A couple of months ago, I broke my hand in two places mountain bike racing, and it has been a hellish experience. I have been really working hard to overcome the pain with ice and tylenol, but today, I asked my hand specialist for something stronger.....I have been feeling like an arthritis sufferer.....and he gave me darvocet. I havent used it before, and I was just wondering if anyone knows if it is addictive or if it is an acceptable alternative to something like percocet.

Hope everyone is well.
Patmamma

[SoBeit]

Hi everybody! I'm new but I'm hoping I could just start by jumping in and asking a question. I used to take 90-120 mg of oxys per day and I quit last month (6/07) by taking subutex. The problem is I'm not going through any
w/d (thank god!), but I'm having a hard time being social and going out on the weekends. I do have friends but right now I just prefer being in my room by myself. I'm wondering if this behaviour is pretty common and will soon pass, or should I just force myself to go out? I understand people act differently, but I'm just hoping for some advice. It will mean a lot. thanks guys!

[Baby Steps]

Hey Guys!!! I know it's been a very long time... In fact I think my last post was May 19th... So to all the regulars... I'm so sorry and have tried to keep up with some on MySpace but to all the others... I remain clean!! Hooray!!! My life however has turned into a whirlwind but I was truly thinking about you guys Thanks to my Syd, Lyds, Never Me and Rory... Oh and Lisa Girl who chime in to my space to remind me... Thanks Guys!!! In the summer I pretty much live on the water in my boat (which has always been my passion) and then there is work (I made Hotel of the year 2006 out of 91 properties), My family, kids, granddaughter, looking for my first home on my own and friends. So please forgive me for letting this go off to the side.

I have tried to read the last pages however there are too many new faces to remember you all this fast but WELCOME!!! And I am so proud of you all for doing what it takes to quit. Keep up the good work and like many old faces have said... there are so many of us who have been there and struggled, stumbled and fell, keep stumbling or have finally beat it.... The biggest reality is this.... It will always and forever be 1 minute, hour, day at a time. This is one of the hardest things I have ever acomplished (Keyword) in my life that I am so very proud of. I know you all can do it!!! Good Job!!!!

To all my buddies.... Holy ******************** guys!!! It's been a while huh??? I continue to pray for you all. I also think about you often. I miss you all and Love you guys so much!!! You are all such a MAJOR part of who I am now and helping me to stay clean during that tough time!!! MUAH!!! I can not believe it's almost 6 months for me and many of you now!!! I promise I will do my best to check in more often!!! How has everyone been?????

I MISS YOU GUYS!!!! BIG Baby Steps Hugz all around!!!

[mrcr81]

Hello everyone.. for a very long time I have been enviously reading many of your posts regarding past struggles and now being clean. I have not yet made it down the clean road yet. It is very hard..
I suffer from 4 herniated disc's in my lower back.. and for years they never even bothered me.. about 3 years ago (and after putting on about 30 lbs) one day i just bent over and never came back up (haha) but in all seriousness my back was out in a very very bad way!
I started taking vicodin.. and i took it as prescribed too.. but w/ the encouragement of some friends... i started to take them recreationally as well.. take 3-4 at a time... take them before i went out at night... and then before i knew it was taking them every day.. morning noon and night (and some in between as well) it's like a double edge sword, i totally need them for my back pain (i dont have med coverage yet so phys therapy and surgery are out of the question as of right now) but taking them makes me crazy.. they are evil little pills.. and i'll take anything too.. vicodin, vicoprofen, percocet, oxycontin, ms contin, you name it... i'll take it (after i look it up 1st--- im a responsible addict =) )
its such a struggle.. my bf is now addicted too... and whenever i start to even bring up weening off or trying to stop taking them he throws a little hissy fit (fag) and i feel like im roaming down a winding road w/ the devil himself at the end waiting for me.. sometimes i wish i could just reach the end of the road already...let him take me.. it seems like it would be easier.. but i know it wouldnt be.. im only 26 years old.. i am starting a new job (career) TOMORROW, in fact.. and have my whole life ahead of me.

nobody thinks pills are like a real drug.. so i figured i can vent to a bunch of strangers that know how im feeling and what im going through online..

two friends of mine have stopped.. one very recently (last week)
the first is on suboxone... and the more recent one just started taking subutex.. i will be getting med ins. w/in the next month and getting my back fixed and getting off these damn pills are what im looking forward to more than anything in the world!!!
i heard subutex was just as good w/ helping withdrawals as suboxone is.. plus easier to get off of.. is that true.. does anyone have any info on that.. or any words of wisdom at all for me.. if not, no big deal... just finally writing all this stuff out has made me feel a little more relieved...

sorry to ramble... i could keep going probably for about 5 hours too... but i dont want my fingers to start hurting too... =)

[mrcr81]

Originally Posted by SoBeit

Hi everybody! I'm new but I'm hoping I could just start by jumping in and asking a question. I used to take 90-120 mg of oxys per day and I quit last month (6/07) by taking subutex. The problem is I'm not going through any
w/d (thank god!), but I'm having a hard time being social and going out on the weekends. I do have friends but right now I just prefer being in my room by myself. I'm wondering if this behaviour is pretty common and will soon pass, or should I just force myself to go out? I understand people act differently, but I'm just hoping for some advice. It will mean a lot. thanks guys!

it's normal... although im not clean now... i was for a few months last summer.. was able to ween myself off of them for a job.. and i was very depressed.. i think the pills like wipe out ur natural happiness or something... i just know pills make me more outgoing... and very very chatty.. so without them i am very withdrawn and insecure and, like u are saying, all i want to do is stay in my room and be alone... a friend of mine who is on suboxone is on an anti-depressant now (lexapro) and she feels wonderful.. her detox/rehab outpatient center is a mix of group meetings and individual psych consults 2-3x week.. it has helped her tremedously.. hope my input helped a little..