[buckeyegal]

I've been taking percocet and oxycontin for several years for pain control. They don't work very well, and I want to stop taking them. Am I bound to go through withdrawal? Can I just start cutting back and wean myself off?
Out with the opiates!

[kingtut]

Hey yall this is Adam Said from Munising, MI. Right now I am a full-time student at Western Michigan University and recently left rehab in Florida. My drugs of choice were any opiates but mostly hydrocodone, oxycodone, and my (unfortunate) favorite tramadol aka Ultram. I have relapsed once since i have been came here to school for the summer semester and i cannot get my mind off of pills. I have no idea how to stop i have been able to control myself since that lapse but if anybody has any suggestions on how to get the stupid desire out of my head I would greatly appreciate it. I wish life would go back to the way it was I find myself getting more depressed everyday i just dont know how to deal with life without pills.Sometimes i catch myself saying well might as well take some pills you'll be happier adam or damn why cant society just accept opiate addicts but i know it is just thinking its not based in reality.Someone please help!

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by buckeyegal

I've been taking percocet and oxycontin for several years for pain control. They don't work very well, and I want to stop taking them. Am I bound to go through withdrawal? Can I just start cutting back and wean myself off?
Out with the opiates!

i went through withdrawal for vicodin several times,and the first time i weaned..i have some experience with percs,but not with oxy..but i would imagine u would be able to do a slow taper..obviously since u have been taking them for several years they no longer have the same effect..which is how i got hooked on vics..built up such a tolerance that they no longer worked.. my advice would be to wean off of them if possible,or to go to your doc and ask for some kind of anxiety and nauseau meds to help and do it that way..thats how i dealt with my second time going through vic withdrawal...others on here might have some different advice than me,im just adding my 2 cents.hope all goes well ,keep us posted....Rory

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by kingtut

Hey yall this is Adam Said from Munising, MI. Right now I am a full-time student at Western Michigan University and recently left rehab in Florida. My drugs of choice were any opiates but mostly hydrocodone, oxycodone, and my (unfortunate) favorite tramadol aka Ultram. I have relapsed once since i have been came here to school for the summer semester and i cannot get my mind off of pills. I have no idea how to stop i have been able to control myself since that lapse but if anybody has any suggestions on how to get the stupid desire out of my head I would greatly appreciate it. I wish life would go back to the way it was I find myself getting more depressed everyday i just dont know how to deal with life without pills.Sometimes i catch myself saying well might as well take some pills you'll be happier adam or damn why cant society just accept opiate addicts but i know it is just thinking its not based in reality.Someone please help!

well first of all welcome... i have also struggled with hydro ..went through w/d several times before i finally kicked that..then went through nasty w/d for tylenol 3 and 4 with codeine,and then on to ulracet(tramadol acetaminophen)..doc lied and said the ultracets werent addictive..bottle of a 100 with several refills..i was in heaven,but towards the end couldnt enjoy the high because i was so worried about counting every pill up until refill date..saying to myself,ok,i can take this many today and this many tomorrow,and so on and so on..became rediculous and finally i flushed the refill and told pharmacy i didnt need the rest..sorry,back to u..i wish i could tell u how to get the desire out of your head,but unfortunately i think thats something that will always be there.. i try to keep busy ..i come to this board and read everyones stories..made some good friends on here..talking to them really got me through some rough times..i know what u mean about wishing being an addict would be acceptable by everyone,so that it would make things easier for us..but we know deep down that isnt helping us any..i wonder if the temptation or desire will ever go away..i can honestly say i havent wanted a vicodin since i went through w/d the 2nd time with them..i havent had one in a few years..and im now clean from the tylenol and ultracets since february.. i still struggle with wanting them,especially when dealing with the stress of raising a teenager,along with marital probs and everyday stress..so as i said,i try to keep busy..i also told my doc to never prescribe me narcotics since i have this problem..sorry if i rambled on,and i know i probably didnt offer much help..but wanted u to know youre not alone..keep us posted and i really wish u the best...Rory.

[lyds]

Rory: your words are spot on. Giving your “two cents” is all any of us can do. Everyone deals with w/d’s differently. Thanks for being here.

buckeyegal: Tapering is a great way to go if you can do it. I couldn’t. I tried so many times in the past to taper just to use too many. I had to stop my addiction cold turkey. It was a very hard thing to do, but I did it. Let us know how you are and what you decide to do!

kingtut: Dealing without pills is very hard in the beginning of coming clean. When I quit, the depression was the worst thing of all. Don’t get me wrong, the physical part of it was quite hellish, but they went away after about 5 days. I dealt with the emotional aspect much longer. Exercise helped me. Coming here was my saving grace. Just knowing there are others out there dealing with the same issues helps so much. Please let us know how you are.

[patmamma]

Hey there everyone!!!! I just got back from Disneyworld with my kids, talk about needing a vacation from your vacation. I have a cast on my left arm, and my three middle fingers are taped together so that i dont re-injur my broken middle finger. Needless to say, I am EXAUSTED!!!!!! Nonetheless, I am heading out on my bike to try and get myself together a little bit. I am sorry to only talk about myself, but it is so tedious to type with one hand! I am here though, and welcome to the newbies!
patmamma

[buckeyegal]

lyds: Thanks for the response. Fortunately for me, I am neither addicted to nor dependent on the opiates. Must be why they didn't do all that much for my pain. I'm also lucky to be somewhat of a control freak. I want to be in control of my life, and when something doesn't work for me or is potentially harmful I get rid of it. I cut the dose in half last night and today with no ill effects. I'm cutting it in half again tonight, just to be safe, and should be off them by Friday. Now if I could just have as much success with chocolate...

kingut and others dealing with addiction: There is no magic bullet or method. YOU have to decide you must quit for the sake of your short- and long-term health and your loved ones. You also have to develop enough self-esteem to realize that you deserve to be healthy. If that sounds like psycho-babble, it is. It can work. If counseling doesn't work, try alternative methods like meditation, visualizing, herbal remedies, etc. until you find something that works for you. Perhaps you can find a healthier, satisfying "addiction": exercise, walking marathons for charity, volunteer work, genealogy, etc. You also have to find someone who will work with you so you can progress at your pace, not at the pace set by a doctor or rehab center. A support system like this board is also invaluable. (Is there such a thing as A.A. for recovering addicts?) You can do it once you decide that recovery is truly what you need and want. It just may take some time to find the "how." Good luck to all of you.

[kevin9494]

You are a great friend to help your friend this way. I have been on Suboxone for 6 months and it saved my life. The way it worked for me was at my first appt. (and all appts) They gave me a urine test to make sure its possitive for opiates (hydros, heroin, oxycodone) and any other illicit substances. Then they advise the patient NO MORE street drugs or they will kick you off the program (and believe me they do) I didn't get any other drugs for anxiety and the contract I signed states that I will not take anything not prescribed by that doctor. He gave me a months worth of pills (60) I take two a day. Your friend will be asked to sign a release of information form. Make sure she doesn't put her husbands name down or they will release info to him. Tell her to put her name and yours in case of an emergency. She will probably fell a little ********************ty (but not too bad) for a day or two. After that she will feel like a new person. Like normal. Good luck to both of you. If you need any more info or just want someone to talk too. My email is snoclaf94@msn.com. Your friend can email too is she wants too. OK. Thanks. Kevin.

Originally Posted by Doggy

So if she is on the hydrocodone before her appointment then what? How long will it take for her to be clean without any withrawals? She is hoping to be clean within 3 weeks from the appointment next week. She is scared...very scared. She is scared to have the withdrawals. She also gets panicky when she has tried to go off of it before also no sleep unless she takes the hydrocodone before she goes to bed as well. I will be there with her every step of the way that is for sure but I am just trying to educate myself as much as possible beofre next week. Thanks again for all your help and support...especially you Mitzu. I guess I just have so many questions but I know everyone tolerates things differently.

[Grimm]

I thought I would share my recent experience, since it might help us all to learn from the mistakes.. I recently quit OC's cold turkey- the first four days were rough, very rough... crying every couple hours or so.. lying in bed all day... after 5 days the miserable cold sweats, RLS and sleep problems started to fade, and it seemed every day after that got BETTER and better. My energy levels started to return by day 8. By day 10 I had remembered some of my goals in life. By day 14 I was so proud of myself because I had scored well on all my finals, despite taking the exams while enduring that terrible two week span without the oxy's.

Day 15..... Summer break began.... Boredom reached an all-time high. I still wanted to be clean, but at the same time my resolve was weak and I felt like one last handful of oc's would be a fun way to 'celebrate' my hard earned academic achievements.. im an idiot



basically i ended up whirlwinding, losing control, spending all my money... and here I am, trying to figure out what the deal is... how can I get the energy to try to regroup again?

[buckeyegal]

Grimm

Can you remember how good you felt off the pills? Make a tape to listen to as a reminder. Get rid of the pills and find a way to fill your boredom. Find a hobby, a cause, a job, something to fill up your time so you don't need the pills. Do something for someone else and don't focus so much on yourself. You CAN do it. You don't need a crutch. You deserve to be yourself; you just have to make the choice.

[patmamma]

Hey there! Buckeye had great advice! On top of that i would just like to add that nothing easy is worth fighting for, and you may find that this will even strengthen your resolve further, and believe that this time WILL be the time you fight and win. So many of us have been down that road so many times, the thing I found helpful was that no matter how many times we need each other, we are here without judgement. Just pick that day, havell of your detox items on hand, log in here, and go right back to being clean, and feeling good.
Patmamma

[Never_me .]

Hey everyone ... Man don't ever get logged out of this place I about never got back in ... Hope everyone is doing fine ... Patmamma , Rory and Lyds I see y'all are keeping everyone straight or trying to ... We have been so busy with graduation my GF son graduated and that was alot of drama ... I thought she was going to fall apart for the past year she has been talking about she was ready to see him get out on his own and wanted him to go to a college away from here hoping it would make him more independent ... But when graduation got her she was not ready at all and went to pieces at the thought of losing one of her babies... Quite the experience ...

Grim how are you doing I see you have enjoyed some success ... Hope you learn from your mistakes and keep trying you seem to be doing better with each attempt...

Patmamma hope your arm gets better ... Never had a broke bone so I can't imagine ... But I hope I never have to...Keep on riding ....lol

Lyds always good to hear from you .... Keep on praying we all need it ...

Rory baseball / softball a brutal sport ...lol...hope your daughter gets to feeling better and it is nothing major...

Hope everyone is doing good just wanted to pop in and say hello... Still doing good ...

ttyl...

[tj1182]

I also have a problem, I'm addicted to Percocet, I started taking it a year ago my doctor prescribed it for my cluster headaches 'cause I'm allergic to NSAIDs. It started with just two a day and now it's up to four a day, and now i take it just to get high I'm scared to get off it 'cause of the withdrawl and now that the weather's getting warm, I don't want to go through the sweating and all the other things associated with it. I work and go to school, how can I explain these flu like symptoms in the middle of spring. I can't take a few weeks off to detox myself so that's why I'm still taking it, I'm actually getting upset with the way it's making me feel (the dopiness) I just don't know what to do.

[Junkie781]

Here I am again. 2 days clean. Came on this board well over a year ago after having been taking Vicodin for a year or two, then graduating to Percoset and Oxycontin for a couple of years on and off...mostly on....but I would take what I could get my hands on for a few weeks, then dry out for a few days......then, get more and start all over. I never really got to a point where I was so addicted that my withdrawals were any more than a day or two of physical discomfort, but I am soooooo sick of the roller coaster ride......

So, here I am starting over yet again, and wondering if I can pull it off this time. I have no access to any pills any time before Tuesday at the earliest, since my supplier is away on vacation until then. Which means I'll be almost 5 days clean by the time she gets back. I'm hoping I can stay strong at that point, because I know, intellectually, that what I'm doing is slowly killing me, yet, the pull of the addiction is sometimes just so overwhelming, it's like someone else is controlling my thoughts and actions....

What's really remarkable, is the first time I came here, I got clean and stayed clean for quite a while - over 6 months - and life was a lot better then....why, oh, why can I not get that frame of mind back?

I know what I have to do. I have to take it one day at a time and just see how it goes.....

Anyway, hope everyone is doing ok

[danielsg]

Hello again...I posted to this discussion a while ago, wanting to know of anything I could buy otc to help with withdrawals for hydro withdrawals...well I really hadn't tried to stop any at that point...No one knows of my addiction or at least in my mind no one does. I have been taking anywhere from 8-10 hydros 10/500 per day. I have slowly increased to this dosage over 2-3 years. It started with migraines, but in the beginning it was a lower dosage and I got off of them easily. Then, I broke my tailbone and I was in severe pain, it was then that I started needing them daily for the pain. That got some better, but because I have to sit for most of my daily routine at work, it really has never gone away. Then back in Oct 2006 I went for a MRI and found that I had a herniated disc. I have since moved gradually up to 8-10 per day. I do take them for pain, I have 3 kids and have to be very active and rely on the pills to be able to function without so much pain. My brother was laid up in bed with the same back injury I have, but I have yet to lay in bed for recovery, I just can't do it...but back to my reasoning for posting. I have forced myself to try and start tapering back, I know I can't quit cold turkey, not only for the withdrawals, but because of the pain. I have went from 8-10 a day to 4-5 a day. I have been doing this for bout 1 day and half now, my question to everyone is, will the withdrawal symptoms from tapering down get better? I didn't realize by tapering down just that much I would experience any significant withdrawals, but I am having cramps and diaherra, I have extreme anxiety, seem to only be able to focus on my next pill, and I am having some getting hot them cold. I know I can taper down, if I know this will start getting better. I have some valium 2.5 but havent taken them, a friend gave them to me, would they help with the anxiety and what else can I do to help...thank you so much for any answers this place has been a GODsend!

[Junkie781]

Hey There:

Sure, you can wean yourself down in dosage over time, but I would also consider consulting a doctor about it.....Personally, I have always gone cold turkey, and suffered a few days, but I wouldn't recommend that to anyone.

Good luck to you.

[rorvan76]

had to remove my clean date last week i had fallen down the last few steps of my basement..i hit my back,leg and must have planted my hand down to brace myself because my wrist is in pain..i didnt go to the hospital,but i did end up caving and calling my doc..he gave me ultracet..i told him before not to give me narcotics such as vics,or the tylenol with codeine so he gave me these..now,im not at the point where i want to abuse them,i just couldnt take the pain.. i feel so bad for taking them,but in my mind im really taking them for pain...but.... the reason i removed the clean date is because i honestly dont know if it will stay that way..i have every intention of stopping it but we all know its not always that simple..i dont know why im so down on myself because im not where i was before,but part of me cant help feeling so disappointed in myself..i know i should take my own advice when i say not to be so hard on myself,but we are our own harshest critic..so pray that i stay strong and get through this without the living nightmare i did before..talk to u all later.. rory

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by Never_me .

Hey everyone ... Man don't ever get logged out of this place I about never got back in ... Hope everyone is doing fine ... Patmamma , Rory and Lyds I see y'all are keeping everyone straight or trying to ... We have been so busy with graduation my GF son graduated and that was alot of drama ... I thought she was going to fall apart for the past year she has been talking about she was ready to see him get out on his own and wanted him to go to a college away from here hoping it would make him more independent ... But when graduation got her she was not ready at all and went to pieces at the thought of losing one of her babies... Quite the experience ...

Grim how are you doing I see you have enjoyed some success ... Hope you learn from your mistakes and keep trying you seem to be doing better with each attempt...

Patmamma hope your arm gets better ... Never had a broke bone so I can't imagine ... But I hope I never have to...Keep on riding ....lol

Lyds always good to hear from you .... Keep on praying we all need it ...

Rory baseball / softball a brutal sport ...lol...hope your daughter gets to feeling better and it is nothing major...

Hope everyone is doing good just wanted to pop in and say hello... Still doing good ...

ttyl...

hey there,

she seems to be feeling much better,isnt using the crutches and hasnt used the brace since last week,so hopefully thats a good sign..still says its hard to put the leg out straight..had an mri over the weekend so we will soon see if that says anything..keeping my fingers crossed..ty for your words

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by lyds

Rory: your words are spot on. Giving your “two cents” is all any of us can do. Everyone deals with w/d’s differently. Thanks for being here.

buckeyegal: Tapering is a great way to go if you can do it. I couldn’t. I tried so many times in the past to taper just to use too many. I had to stop my addiction cold turkey. It was a very hard thing to do, but I did it. Let us know how you are and what you decide to do!

kingtut: Dealing without pills is very hard in the beginning of coming clean. When I quit, the depression was the worst thing of all. Don’t get me wrong, the physical part of it was quite hellish, but they went away after about 5 days. I dealt with the emotional aspect much longer. Exercise helped me. Coming here was my saving grace. Just knowing there are others out there dealing with the same issues helps so much. Please let us know how you are.

ty for saying that..im definitely gonna be needing some support myself..as u probably read i removed my clean date ,due to a problem i had..hopefully i will get through it before it spirals out of control again.

[BWnoel]

...i've been addicted to hydromorphone (dilaudid), and benzo's for about 13 years...this year when my wife (she's disabled with a chronic pain condition) went home for a family funeral, and left me a ration of those little buddy's that were supposed to last 18 daze, i used them all up in 11 daze...forced to go through w/d for 8 long daze, i snagged a few for 5 days when i picked her up at the airport, and am now on day 4 of no little buddy's...my mother in law is aware of this addiction, and still remains my friend...my own parents however, are not aware of this problem...

...i'm 48 years old, and its time to stop being a drug(s) addict ( i like them all)...it has been a source of repetitive conflict in our 15 year relationship, and the root problem needs to be eliminated...

...the big question: how do i stop thinking every hour about how much a dilaudid (4mg), blue (10mg valium), and xanax (1mg) would help everything feel soooooooooo much better...i'd be more functional, i think, and would get so much more done in respect to house/yardwork, in addition to 221 hours per month of paid care provision for my wife...how can i cope with these stressors "without a little help from my friends"...or are they not really my friends at all...i have 3 -4 more daze to go on another w/d, but can't seem to get them off my mind...they're kept in a combination lockbox, that only she knows the combo to...the only thing that keeps me from prying it open with a screwdriver, is my love for her, our relationship, dawg, and kat...

[lyds]

Originally Posted by rorvan76

ty for saying that..im definitely gonna be needing some support myself..as u probably read i removed my clean date ,due to a problem i had..hopefully i will get through it before it spirals out of control again.

I haven't been here for awhile. My son graduated last Friday and I had a ton of family in. It was hectic.

Rory, you know how to get in contact with me away from the board if you need to.....DON'T beat yourself up. I know it's easy for me to say, but try not to........I am praying hard that once you're through the worst of the pain that will be that and you won't take anything. Please let me know how you're doing and how you're feeling. PLEASE.

[Never_me .]

Hang in there you know what your doing I'm sure your do the right thing ... This is a big test sooenr or later we are all going to be faced with this situation ... Stay strong do what you have to do then do what is right... Hope your daughter is feeling better ... We are here for you if you need us.

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by lyds

I haven't been here for awhile. My son graduated last Friday and I had a ton of family in. It was hectic.

Rory, you know how to get in contact with me away from the board if you need to.....DON'T beat yourself up. I know it's easy for me to say, but try not to........I am praying hard that once you're through the worst of the pain that will be that and you won't take anything. Please let me know how you're doing and how you're feeling. PLEASE.

thanks lyds..its funny,i offer the same advice but am so hard on myself.. i just dont wanna go through that nightmare again,and cant help but worry about that...but right now,im not even at that point..didnt take anything yesterday,except for in the morning and by night and noticed my face started to feel extremely hot and i felt a lil restless..i was like,oh no,please dont have this starting again..so i took a long warm bath..and it really helped calm me down and i slept pretty well..hopefully nothing more will come of it since i wasnt abusing them.....u mentioned about having everyone around and things being hectic..i so know what u mean..so much stress with her being hurt again after just coming off the arm injury,plus the every day stresses we all deal with,would be so easy to slip back into that...but then i remember the living nightmare we call w/d..it really is a day to day struggle..but glad to know i have people pulling for me!

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by Never_me .

Hang in there you know what your doing I'm sure your do the right thing ... This is a big test sooenr or later we are all going to be faced with this situation ... Stay strong do what you have to do then do what is right... Hope your daughter is feeling better ... We are here for you if you need us.

ty,and youre right,if i can pass this test without any major problems then will show how strong i really am..but should i fall a lil,i will try not to beat myself up over it.. as for my daughter,the knee felt a lil better,she even played in her game on tuesday..then she got hit near her ankle by the pitcher and the pain went right up her leg into the bad knee!!!!talk about the worst luck.that and its hard for her to put the knee out straight..still awaiting mri results and will go from there..ty so much for asking..hope all is well with u

[lyds]

Originally Posted by BWnoel

...i've been addicted to hydromorphone (dilaudid), and benzo's for about 13 years...this year when my wife (she's disabled with a chronic pain condition) went home for a family funeral, and left me a ration of those little buddy's that were supposed to last 18 daze, i used them all up in 11 daze...forced to go through w/d for 8 long daze, i snagged a few for 5 days when i picked her up at the airport, and am now on day 4 of no little buddy's...my mother in law is aware of this addiction, and still remains my friend...my own parents however, are not aware of this problem...

...i'm 48 years old, and its time to stop being a drug(s) addict ( i like them all)...it has been a source of repetitive conflict in our 15 year relationship, and the root problem needs to be eliminated...

...the big question: how do i stop thinking every hour about how much a dilaudid (4mg), blue (10mg valium), and xanax (1mg) would help everything feel soooooooooo much better...i'd be more functional, i think, and would get so much more done in respect to house/yardwork, in addition to 221 hours per month of paid care provision for my wife...how can i cope with these stressors "without a little help from my friends"...or are they not really my friends at all...i have 3 -4 more daze to go on another w/d, but can't seem to get them off my mind...they're kept in a combination lockbox, that only she knows the combo to...the only thing that keeps me from prying it open with a screwdriver, is my love for her, our relationship, dawg, and kat...

How do you stop thinking every hour about how much a dilaudid, blue, & xanax would help everything feel sooooooooo much better? That's the million dollar question. I think for me, once I got over the worst of the withdrawals and I started having small cravings again, I would just remind myself how much better I felt without pills. Seriously, once you get to the point where you are functioning well w/out the pills, you will know how much better life is clean.

I am glad the love you have for your wife is keeping you from prying the lockbox open. Listen, addiction is a hard thing to kick. You will function again without them, however. You will finally get to the point where you are stronger than the cravings. I quit in Jan. and sure I still have moments when I think about taking something. It's usually when I am under stress. But, I just ride it out.

Please come back and let us know how you're doing.

P.S. They ARE NOT your little friends at all.

[lyds]

Originally Posted by Never_me .

Hang in there you know what your doing I'm sure your do the right thing ... This is a big test sooenr or later we are all going to be faced with this situation ... Stay strong do what you have to do then do what is right... Hope your daughter is feeling better ... We are here for you if you need us.

Hey! Praying things are well on your end!

Just wanted to say that.

[Never_me .]

Things are going well here ... Settling into summer ... Been so busy here of late but with graduation over and baseball season winding down I'm starting to find a little time for myself ... My son has been home and I've been working hard to keep him on the right track he seems to be doing well ... I can't really complain ... life is good ...

Hope everyone is doing well ...

[BWnoel]

Originally Posted by lyds

How do you stop thinking every hour about how much a dilaudid, blue, & xanax would help everything feel sooooooooo much better? That's the million dollar question. I think for me, once I got over the worst of the withdrawals and I started having small cravings again, I would just remind myself how much better I felt without pills. Seriously, once you get to the point where you are functioning well w/out the pills, you will know how much better life is clean.

I am glad the love you have for your wife is keeping you from prying the lockbox open. Listen, addiction is a hard thing to kick. You will function again without them, however. You will finally get to the point where you are stronger than the cravings. I quit in Jan. and sure I still have moments when I think about taking something. It's usually when I am under stress. But, I just ride it out.

Please come back and let us know how you're doing.

P.S. They ARE NOT your little friends at all.

...lyds, i've read alot of your postings, and they are very insightful about this addiction that 1) i've finally admitted to myself, and 2) it's time to stop...
its just sooooooooo hard having them in the house though, even though they're locked up...i picked up her prescription yesterday from the drugstore, and it was so hard to not take just ONE...the four block drive home with them in the car was like having an 8 year old with a barrel full of candy...i made it back home without dipping though, gave then to my wife, and told her to pleasssse, get them out of my sight...day five starts at midnight, and i will just try every hour again to make to the next hour...thanks for responding lyds, it helps me to know SOMEONE out there relates to my problem, and cares...i check DAILY for responses to my postings, so i will keep you informed, as long as i'm not being pesty...

[lyds]

Originally Posted by BWnoel

...lyds, i've read alot of your postings, and they are very insightful about this addiction that 1) i've finally admitted to myself, and 2) it's time to stop...
its just sooooooooo hard having them in the house though, even though they're locked up...i picked up her prescription yesterday from the drugstore, and it was so hard to not take just ONE...the four block drive home with them in the car was like having an 8 year old with a barrel full of candy...i made it back home without dipping though, gave then to my wife, and told her to pleasssse, get them out of my sight...day five starts at midnight, and i will just try every hour again to make to the next hour...thanks for responding lyds, it helps me to know SOMEONE out there relates to my problem, and cares...i check DAILY for responses to my postings, so i will keep you informed, as long as i'm not being pesty...

First of all, you will NEVER be pesty by keeping us informed. That is what this thread is for & that's what we're here for. To help each other.

I know what you mean about it being hard having them in the house even though you can't get to them. My husband takes MS Contin. So, it's in the house. When stress hits, don't think I don't want to go find them and pop "just one". Of course I know that "just one" develops into one more and then one more.....I just can't go there.

Bless your heart, though. Because you're taking care of your wife you have to be the one to pick up her prescriptions, etc. The temptation is nuts and there really isn't anything you can do to avoid it while being your wife's caregiver. Wow.

You are so very welcome for my response, though you have absolutely nothing to thank me for. It honestly is my pleasure. This board helped me so much and I want to give back. I do care, so keep on posting. It will help!

I will keep you in my prayers!

[Davey K]

Howdy all! My name is David and I've been peering in on this board from time to time and thought it was about time I registered.

Here's my story... after years of lower back pain, my S1 disc finally gave up last year, and I was basically bedridden for about 4 months with crippling sciatic pain. Last august I got a microdiscectomy, and I am able to work again and stand and walk and all that but the pain is still really bad. Right after the surgery, the doc said there was probably nerve damage.

Before my surgery I was taking both morphine and vicodin, and I got off the morphine pretty quickly afterwards, but the vicodin has been harder. I take right now 8 5/500s a day. I have talked with my doctor about it. After a bad relapse of crippling sciatic pain about a month ago she recently ordered another MRI and I'm waiting to hear on the results.

I've been through drug addiction before (clean 4.5 years from cocaine) and - well, I won't say that I'm scared of getting off the pills cuz I can see how they're affecting me - I'm definitely in a fog and I know that they affect me more than I realize. I'm just really scared that I'm not going to be able to take the pain, and I'm very scared that it's going to be a constant part of my life from now on until I die.

So, that's it. I'll check back again soon when I know the MRI results. I've been through this before. And I know that having support makes a big difference.

I'll be leaving town for a week on Sunday, but I'll check in when I get back.

Thanks for being here,
David