[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by scared husband

well,today went well,but the day ended tradgicly. She contiplated sucide on many ocassions. I helped her through all her times of need......let me back track a secend......My wife reached out to another man.... right next door to my house....my neibor covered for her....Tonight we were sitting by a fire in our backyard, when she stoood up , went to the houde to use the restroom,
....she didnt come back.....she went in the back door & out the front....I have been weeping uncontrolably for over an hour....she aint coming home....I called the police to find her....they couldnt help me.....They are now on there way to my home to take a report......I am going to have my wife committed.....She repeatedly tells me how she wants to kill herself.....I need to do whatever it takes to help my wife in any way i can,...She isnt the only one going through this... I hurt more then any of you will ever know...I dont know what to do......I am so scared for my wife and me........

im in no position to offer any advice,i can only offer my prayers to u and your wife.it really does sound like u are doing the right thing to have her committed.whether she knows it or not,shes lucky to have someone get her the help she needs..my heart really goes out to both of u

[rorvan76]

hey all..babysteps u are so right about enjoying the weather with a clear sober head..i felt so good just going to get a water ice,or just sitting outside relaxing while my daughter rides her bike or draws with chalk..its those little things that im really so thankful for.....

i always feel so insensitive when i post about what a great weekend,or great day im having when so many are going through thier own personal nightmares..but then again,maybe it can show that there is a brighter day ahead for u..it takes awhile to get to the point where u can start to enjoy life again,but it will get better.so many of us on here are all living proof of that... well babysteps,lyds,patmamma,syd,neverme havent been on for a few days so just givin u a special lil shout out lol...and to everyone else,keep posting.. im keeping everyone in my prayers,but im really hoping scared,and addicted2long get the peace they need

[Never_me .]

Man it has been a great weekend ... My GF and I had a double date last night with of all people her 17 year old son and his GF... That was a trip but it is nice to know he respects me and wants to spend time with us together like that. We went out to the Venice Grill and had this great Itallian dinner or whatever it is ... Good food at great big price ...lol...

Then we all went out to the movies ... My GF is not into scary movies so I suggested Blades of Glory she shot that down seeing everyone else wanted to see a scary movie... She had decided to take one for the team. The teens wanted to see" Disturbia " I wanted to see "The Reaping" ... We had such a good time at dinner we missed the start of Disturbia and went into see The Reaping with Hilary S********************..I have come to love S******************** as a actress...My GF was sucking one up for the team but that was not going well... She really can not take a scary movie ... She sat through the Exorcism of Emily Rose with me and was fine but The Reaping was another story ... From the start she was jumping and soon found herself climbing under a blanket to hide... Every once in a while she would peak out only to jump and yell at a scary part. The three of us could not help but to laugh and my GF was determined to make it through the show. It was a very good movie with a great story to it and it had enough bumps and thrills to keep you into it ... There was one part where S******************** was talking to the mother of this little girl who everyone was making out like she was evil the child of the devil ... The Mother was asking if S******************** was there" to kill her daughter "...S********************s reply was "Lord no why would I do that.'... The mother replied "Why not" about that time the girl jumped on her mothers back and neck and started attacking her... My GF just happened to peak out at that moment and she went off jumping all over me grabbing and snatching and yelling ..lol..I was like dang I've heard of 3d movies and high defination but this is for real...lol..
When I realized who it was I could do nothing but laugh... My GF slipped back under the covers and down in her chair the rest of the movie was spent me commentating what was happening to her...

It was like in this part where the mother and S******************** was in the basement .... The mother was saying she had failed and pulled out a gun .. My GF said does she have a gun... I was like yes... She was like what is she doing with it ? I said putting it in her mouth ... Then you heard the gun go off ... my GF was like did she shoot herself I was like yes.... Then she was like what is she doing now... I was like Hell..she is getting back up ... My gf was like I want to go stand in the lobby but I can't get up ... lol...My GF is a cop who has dealt with Police work all her life she is now a office manager at the station and going to law school to be a lawyer ...She sees gross stuff all the time but it trips me out that a scary movie freaks her ...She was tripping on all audiance ... talking about look at these people they are so immune to this stuff...

Of course on the way home we were all talking about the movie ... She was commenting on how terrible it was and that she could'nt beleive we paid to see it ... The three of us loved it ... it was a very good movie ... We got to talking about the parts we liked best and my GF speaks up saying the part where the mom shot herself and then got back up from the dead was all she could take she was ready to go to the lobby and stand but could not get up...Her son was like Mom that mother never got back up she was dead and stayed down... My gf was like well he told me she got back up... everyone went to laughing then ... but I was in trouble... lol... I got the evil eye look...lol...

We had a great time and everything is going so good for me I could not ask for better ... Just thought I would share seeing I have not been posting much ... Hope all of you are doing well too... And having success in all you do in life...

Tomorrow marks the 60 day mark for me on being clean ... I feel good...

[lyds]

I will continue to pray for your friend. My marriage ended shrouded in infidelity, etc., and it's a very hard thing to deal with. It makes you doubt yourself and you begin to wonder what *you* did to make the other be unfaithful. It can really do a number on you. At any rate, I am praying. I am glad she's getting better slowly but surely. You are really giving her some good advice. She needs to rediscover herself, for sure!

Thanks for checking in. The weather is gorgeous here, too. Too gorgeous to be inside. In fact, I was outside working in the yard and thought I'd come in and see how everyone is doing! Oh, and love you, too!

[lyds]

SIXTY DAYS!! WOO-HOO! Did you ever think you'd make it this far? Think about how good you feel and how wonderful life it. It's just an awesome feeling, isn't it? I am so flipping proud of you and for you! Thanks for sharing yourself with us. You've been a help to so many!

Your story about giving your GF the blow by blow of the movie cracked me up! I do that to my husband all the time. I close my eyes and he has to tell me what's going on. She's sweet to take one for the team! Anyway, sounds like you all had a great time! Thanks for sharing and for checking in. I love hearing from you!

[lyds]

Originally Posted by rorvan76

hey all..babysteps u are so right about enjoying the weather with a clear sober head..i felt so good just going to get a water ice,or just sitting outside relaxing while my daughter rides her bike or draws with chalk..its those little things that im really so thankful for.....

i always feel so insensitive when i post about what a great weekend,or great day im having when so many are going through thier own personal nightmares..but then again,maybe it can show that there is a brighter day ahead for u..it takes awhile to get to the point where u can start to enjoy life again,but it will get better.so many of us on here are all living proof of that... well babysteps,lyds,patmamma,syd,neverme havent been on for a few days so just givin u a special lil shout out lol...and to everyone else,keep posting.. im keeping everyone in my prayers,but im really hoping scared,and addicted2long get the peace they need

You are absolutely right, Rory. I think when we post about how good things are it gives people hope. They can try and look forward to when they will be where we are. I know it helped me when I started posting. I was so thankful to be able to read how life was eventually going to be mine again.

So, scared husband and addicted2long, listen to Miss Rorvan76. It will get better. There is hope! Please know that and please keep posting.

[kdkd81]

So after finally having my back surgery, its time to quit again. The first time was cold turkey, and this time will be cold turkey, I start tonight, I was wondering if there is anything else to help with the withdrawal symptoms. I have my witches brew (a bunch of herbs that helps with the wd slighlty), my multi vitamin, total calm, passion flower, st johns wart, and xanax. Does anyone know of anything else that helps with wd symptoms, and I dont mean hot showers or anything like that, I mean substances that I take to help me out. I also have immodium ad.

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by Never_me .

Man it has been a great weekend ... My GF and I had a double date last night with of all people her 17 year old son and his GF... That was a trip but it is nice to know he respects me and wants to spend time with us together like that. We went out to the Venice Grill and had this great Itallian dinner or whatever it is ... Good food at great big price ...lol...

Then we all went out to the movies ... My GF is not into scary movies so I suggested Blades of Glory she shot that down seeing everyone else wanted to see a scary movie... She had decided to take one for the team. The teens wanted to see" Disturbia " I wanted to see "The Reaping" ... We had such a good time at dinner we missed the start of Disturbia and went into see The Reaping with Hilary S********************..I have come to love S******************** as a actress...My GF was sucking one up for the team but that was not going well... She really can not take a scary movie ... She sat through the Exorcism of Emily Rose with me and was fine but The Reaping was another story ... From the start she was jumping and soon found herself climbing under a blanket to hide... Every once in a while she would peak out only to jump and yell at a scary part. The three of us could not help but to laugh and my GF was determined to make it through the show. It was a very good movie with a great story to it and it had enough bumps and thrills to keep you into it ... There was one part where S******************** was talking to the mother of this little girl who everyone was making out like she was evil the child of the devil ... The Mother was asking if S******************** was there" to kill her daughter "...S********************s reply was "Lord no why would I do that.'... The mother replied "Why not" about that time the girl jumped on her mothers back and neck and started attacking her... My GF just happened to peak out at that moment and she went off jumping all over me grabbing and snatching and yelling ..lol..I was like dang I've heard of 3d movies and high defination but this is for real...lol..
When I realized who it was I could do nothing but laugh... My GF slipped back under the covers and down in her chair the rest of the movie was spent me commentating what was happening to her...

It was like in this part where the mother and S******************** was in the basement .... The mother was saying she had failed and pulled out a gun .. My GF said does she have a gun... I was like yes... She was like what is she doing with it ? I said putting it in her mouth ... Then you heard the gun go off ... my GF was like did she shoot herself I was like yes.... Then she was like what is she doing now... I was like Hell..she is getting back up ... My gf was like I want to go stand in the lobby but I can't get up ... lol...My GF is a cop who has dealt with Police work all her life she is now a office manager at the station and going to law school to be a lawyer ...She sees gross stuff all the time but it trips me out that a scary movie freaks her ...She was tripping on all audiance ... talking about look at these people they are so immune to this stuff...

Of course on the way home we were all talking about the movie ... She was commenting on how terrible it was and that she could'nt beleive we paid to see it ... The three of us loved it ... it was a very good movie ... We got to talking about the parts we liked best and my GF speaks up saying the part where the mom shot herself and then got back up from the dead was all she could take she was ready to go to the lobby and stand but could not get up...Her son was like Mom that mother never got back up she was dead and stayed down... My gf was like well he told me she got back up... everyone went to laughing then ... but I was in trouble... lol... I got the evil eye look...lol...

We had a great time and everything is going so good for me I could not ask for better ... Just thought I would share seeing I have not been posting much ... Hope all of you are doing well too... And having success in all you do in life...

Tomorrow marks the 60 day mark for me on being clean ... I feel good...

congrats on your 60 days..thats so great!!!!!!

[rorvan76]

Originally Posted by lyds

You are absolutely right, Rory. I think when we post about how good things are it gives people hope. They can try and look forward to when they will be where we are. I know it helped me when I started posting. I was so thankful to be able to read how life was eventually going to be mine again.

So, scared husband and addicted2long, listen to Miss Rorvan76. It will get better. There is hope! Please know that and please keep posting.

aww thanks lyds..the past few days have so wonderful..which is why i havent been on as much..have been going to the park with my daughter and our dog..walking along the stream..my daughter and i even went on the swings.we have even been taking drives with the sunroof open and singing along to music in the car,so much fun..as i said,its the little things that mean so much.there definitely is hope,even when it seems like there isnt.

[ohmy-graine]

I got a refill.

My jaw flared up...and here I am again. Tomorrow I am out, and I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I should contact a pain management clinic, if I should just suck it up and live with the pain day after day, or what.

I'm so clueless and lost right now, I don't know what direction to move in!

I read on suboxone. It says it is not for people who have chronic pain. It is for people whom are addicted. I am sure I am dependent. I am sure that I will have withdrawals. I have been on lortabs for months.

I'm terrified.

Like a poster said above, I have a few xanax here. I have some flexeril here too, that will help with the jaw, and leg cramps. My issues are trying to deal with the children, I have 5. That and the whole mood swing thing. I am sure that the fact I am pms'ing does NOT help *any* of this!

I'm scared and confused. I called my pdoc last week to ask for something for anxiety, because I have been having a bit anyhow, and no one has called me back. I don't know if I should confide in them with this, or just go c/t. I don't know what happens, are you 'red-flagged' forever as an addict? Can you not get opiates for pain, ever again? I have chronic kidney stones, there is just NO way that I could ever get through passing those without anything for pain! I have multiple stones in each kidney - when those things try to pass, it is excruciating!

I don't know, I'm rambling. I need help. I may just c/t. I know that I can't keep getting refills. I don't know what a pain management clinic would do for me, if they could do anything at all. I don't know when I could even get in.

sigh I feel hopeless.....to be honest.

[tinkers1]

Hi

I have been around not reading much I helped a friend who was hooked on the hydro for many years get on sub it was a great thing to see how happy he was for the help and to be off the hydros for the first time in many years now al I have to do is get throught too one other person and I will be so proud of myself well anyway good luck to all.

Rob

[patmamma]

Hey everyone,
I just wanted to drop a note to say I am still alive and here. What a ********************py experience with the allergic reactions to allergy meds of all things. I am doing everything in my power to just go on every day until the ******************** is out of my body. I have migraines, my tongue is ripped to shreds, and turns a weird white color, and I feel like I am walking on a cruise ship, up and down. I worked today for the first day. I feel like I cant get a grip on everything that I have missed, and of course, its always the really tough problems you come back to deal with.....anyway, I have valium for tonight to try and just relax....I hate using drugs unless they are necessary, and trust me, it is necessary tonight! I have little blue dots from all of the epi-pin shots they have given me over the last week. I worked out early every time I could because I knew the reaction hits around 10 am. I am sure I sound like a cookie chick, but excersize has saved my life before, and I am always sure it will again. No, I did not allow for any narcotics. I have made a commitment as have you all.
Patmamma

[stoph]

g'day all
i've read a few posts and am impressed by peoples honesty and caring towards others here.

monday (aus time- catch up world ) i started treatement for my painkiller abuse. so now on wednesday i thought i'd surf around to see how others have fared in similar circumstances.

after an initial psych then gp appointment i'm on 4 x 30mg codiene per day as i start the process (which is about 1/2 the dose i'd been taking [without taking anything to substitute the doxylamine]). i have failed in trying before- best 3 weeks, so i got through the cold turkey withdrawls- but my habit ended up bigger this time so i thought i'd get all the help i could.

last night my sleep was a bit effected, but so far, so good.

i'm drinking heaps of water, trying not to drink any more coffee than normal, and drinking heaps of herbal teas (camomile, peppermint, lemon).

i used to be incredibly fit -running 4 day bushwalks (that's hikes to the rest of you) in a day etc, so i know enough about how to get/be fit. my plan is to go back to aikido and my wife and i are going to try to get back into yoga (which i loved too) again -if the mother-in-law will mind the kids .

any other advice would be appreciated.

peace

[patmamma]

Hey, for what it is worth, I want to say you are undergoing a brave change that will make you feel alive again, esp. when it comes to being active. I am a firm believer in excersize, (I know, no one had any idea of that, LOL), but it will be great to see you go on your road of recovery. I hope your bush walks, yoga and all return to your life. My favorite thing about my recovery is that I can feel things again. That may sound weird right now, but you will see what I mean.

I hope everyone is being strong!

Rorvan, again, a special thanks to you, you didnt lose faith in me.
Patmamma

[addicted2long]

Just wanted 2 let ya'll know i'm still here and still clean. I've been in the hospital for a wicked kidney infection, but refused narcotic pain treatment. I don't want the pain but I really don't want 2 go through the physical wd stuff again. I'm still breaking out in cold sweats every now and then still get kinda shakey and i'm still craving hydro's and oxy's. I think if I can get past the intensity of the cravings I'll be ok. Somedays are alot worse than others as many of you know. My marriage is falling apart, I'm sick, in a LOT of pain, tryin to keep up w/the kids AND I'VE BEEN OFF WORK FOR A WEEK(NO $ AND BILLS KEEP COMIN IN) I don't know what i'm gonna do. I really just wanna run away and hide, but I know i'd have 2 come back eventually and the pile of bull******************** will only be bigger and scarier, so I'm doin my best to cope. After I told the Dr. in the ER that I was an addict and was tryin 2 kick a hydro/oxy addiction I really thought they'd try 2 help me w/something other than narcotics, but instead I felt labeled and discriminated against. I really felt almost ashamed of myself, ya know....like I was "bad/dirty/wrong". It made for not only a lot of pain physically but as well...mentally and emotionally. As for everyone sayin that I'm so "raw" w/my posts....well I think that its the only way 2 deal w/this and mayb e someone else will read it and think damn...I been there or I don't wanna be there and get help. Our addiction's are not the only thing we have to deal with. Life keeps goin whether u r havin w/d or not. The kids still need supper and homework help and a mom whether i'm jonesing for some pills or not, and I have to learn to deal with and cope with all aspects of life along w/ the w/d and cravings. It's not fun but it sure is reality. Well I got a Dr. appt. to get to so ....over and out....I'll let ya'll know how it all goes and I really appeciate all the support and feedback I have gotten...THANK U 2 all of u brave and strong men and women...w/love...addicted

[addicted2long]

anyone from IL? or close?

[addicted2long]

ADDICTED

All my life I thought I knew
Just what I'd be and what I'd do
It wasn't that long ago that my life seemed great
But, addiction to drugs took over
as if it were fate
I thought I was living on a pink cloud
When really I wanted to cry for help out loud.
Day by day my cloud turned black, and
I almost didn't get my life back
I thank GOD i'm alive as I look in the past
addiction to drugs, caused destruction like a tornado
that would forever last and last
Drugs took everything....almost my soul
when I lost my children...it took a different toll
Nothing was important, when I used to abuse
I sacrificied everything....
ya know...I didn't even choose
If you are also a miracle
One who lived to tell
You will share your experience...of
What it's like to live in HELL.

Amber Osborne(me)
R77906(me then...nothing more than a #)
6/27/05
Decatur IL., Womans Correctional Facility(IDOC)

[linguapohombre]

I am new here but not to say inexperienced in wd,s.Something that helps somewhat with withdrawal symptoms is kratom,It is a plant that grows in asia and is illegal there .It is avaliable in the states and legal so far.I can say as a suggestion that anyone here can research it on the web.It does help with wds but can produce addiction.It may be an alternative to methadone or subox but it would be a self medicated situation.A friend of mine used it to bide him over a couple of days to get clean for a drug test for a job.He said his only wd symptoms were a little sweating.No diahrea,sneezing,runny nose,restless leg, weakness or cramps .He said the sweating was all he experienced ,a little hassle but nowhere near full blown torture of cold turkey.Just my two cents here and just information for research.Good luck all.

[stoph]

thanks for your reply Patmamma,
nice reflective piece A2L, what we do to ourselves is so self evident when we observe the truth so plainly put.


what a night!

our 6 week old cried ALL NIGHT,
my head feels like it is trying to develope a black hole and is imploding- not with angst etc....just a blinding headache!

just had my morning dose and at least i'm not writhing now- just very dull ache. still i'm pretty proud coz my resolve is good and at this point -even with the pain- i'm not even tempted to have the 1/2 pack of pills left over from b4 i saw the gp and got on the wd dose.

gotta go...have said 6 week old in arms now as boss lady desperately needs rest (7am local time) & 1 hand bayyles to type by itself.

pax

[Never_me .]

Hey just wantd to let you know your doing awesome ... I know it may not seem like it with all the other problems ... But I think your putting the biggest problem behind you and the rest will follow ... I hope it all works out for you I enjoy reading your posts and the honestly in them and the message they send... Keep up the good work we are all here to support you and in your corner.

[rdandcg]

Originally Posted by Doggy

I have a really good friend who is addicted to the pain killer Hydrocodone. Anyhow she wants to stop but everytime she does she gets really bad withdrawals such as sweating and shaking, can't sleep, etc. I was wondering if anyone out there has been through this on their own without going to a treatment center. If so please tell me what to do for her and how long it took for the withdrawals to go away!!!! HELP!!!!

i have been on hydrocodone myself for 5 years now as yes they are very addictive. if she is having shakes and sweating thats almost overdose i have been there. you need to help her contol her meds and cut her down atleast half i know it hurts but the less she gets gets use to the better it will start helping her again. i was taking 10 / 10/500 in one day. thats not good thats almost overdose but i did it. my boyfriend starting managing my meds and woulnd give me anymore than my doc precribed and im still having a rough time. just start cutting her down one less aday till you dou get down to a reasonable amount. it will be very hard i asure you but its for her best. and honey the withdraws wont go away for awhile. try to substuite a hydro for maybe a soma every now and then that way she will be more relaxed.

[patmamma]

Addicted2long.....you are an amazing person. Just think of the power you have over the narcs to admit that all to your doctor. I am just so blown away by your courage to go forward with pain. you really have to dig deep to control that. I give a special dose of love your way! I hope your kidney infection improves. I donated a kidney and I wish I could give one to every person in need. I really do. I hate hearing about kidneys in particular, having seen what my dad went through with his kidney failure. Good luck, peace and love to you.

Patmamma

[tinkers1]

Addicted 2 long

I'm in Chicago right now thats wear I work.

[stoph]

question: is hydrocodone a paracetemol/codiene/doxylamine painkiller?

it seems to be a popular problem there in the US, and i wonder if it is the same/similar to the rubbish i'm working out.

stoph

paz

[marshallgranny]

Originally Posted by Doggy

I have a really good friend who is addicted to the pain killer Hydrocodone. Anyhow she wants to stop but everytime she does she gets really bad withdrawals such as sweating and shaking, can't sleep, etc. I was wondering if anyone out there has been through this on their own without going to a treatment center. If so please tell me what to do for her and how long it took for the withdrawals to go away!!!! HELP!!!!

I too wish someone could help your friend because I'm in the same shape. I swear that I will stop but I dont I have degenerative bone disc dis. and my bones hurt like I have the flu. I have been off work for over a yr because my job went to Mexico and all I do is take my meds and lay around I dont never want to do anything and I have found myself having to take more and more to get the pain to go away and I sometimes feel like if I would just get up and get out of the house I would feel better but I dont do anything but pop pills and I know I'm killing myseld slowley. Please someone tell me what I can do without going to a rehab center because I do not have the money for that.

[lupay]

I am a RN, and I'm here to help you all as much as I can. I've been at that very place you all are at. I had a low back problem and multiple surgeries on my back. My surgeons and PCP rx'd pain pills thinking they were solving the problem, but in reality, they made it worse because I got addicted to hydrocodone. I've been through withdrawal, been to pain clinics (and still going to one) still have pain, and I won't take any pain meds. I feel like I was put here to help others get through their experience. I will do what I can to help----ask away.

[lupay]

In responding to Marshallgranny--you are definitely tolerant of the meds, more than likely abusing them if all you're doing is staying at home and popping pills. However, if you're taking them according to directions, then you're more than likely just tolerant. That is to be expected with pain meds. It is normal and there's not much you can do. Tolerance is NOT addiction, and there isn't a person out there on pain meds for any length of time that isn't tolerant. It just means that your body can tolerate them more than someone elses could and you can take higher doses without the side effects. It also means that when you stop them, you experience withdrawal symptoms. The problem comes into play when you take more than rx'd and you need them to get through the day. Then you have a problem, because then you're abusing them. If you don't have the money for rehab, and you truly want to stop, then you need to stop them gradually. Very gradually, because withdrawal can be deadly. Ultimately, a doctor is the only one who can recommend a wean schedule, but you don't want to decrease the dose too quickly--maybe drop 1 pill every 4-7 days. It takes a long time, but it minimizes withdrawal and allows you to stay at home. However, in order to not start popping pills again because you're not working, you need to be doing something constructive with your day--looking for a job, doing an activity or hobby. Set goals and decide what you want to do with your life--but only set short term goals because if you set long term goals and then can't meet those goals you will want to go back to the pain meds immediately. Set daily goals, and accomplish those. That will give you hope, inspiration, and courage to continue with the wean. However, I want to stress again that you should do a wean under your doctor's care or under some sort of medical supervision as that is truly the only safe way to wean. Weaning too fast can result in seizures and even death. You don't want to do it alone.

[addicted2long]

Thanks patmamma...they put me on dialysis 4x/wk, I've had problems w/severe infections for 13-15years and they slowly r gonna stop on me..yes THEY it is affecting both
Tinkers1...I'm in Champaign, thats only a couple hours...we ought to get together sometime

[addicted2long]

Never me...a special thank u goes 2 u cuz u was the one to talk me through those 1st godforsaken days...it was the weekend and ya'll were out and about, but 4 one reason or another never me was here and helping me through my nightmare...your an angel of mercy

[tinkers1]

All,

Does anyone have any first hand knowledge of requip I just started taking it for rls and I think its making me very tired during the day I take it at bed time but the next day I still feel out of it does this last for along time or does it go away I think it is working for rls but I have only been taking for a week any help would be great.