[scared_ohio]

My last vicodin was Jan 30th. I started Suboxone on Feb 1st...I felt really great the first couple of days, lots of energy, SO happy, etc...now, I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack any minute, or I have cancer, I know I should go see a doc, but I don't have one right now because I was caught doctor shopping. It's denial...if I don't go to the doctor, then I won't know if anything is wrong with me. Shi*, I KNOW there's stuff wrong with me. I'm overweight, I smoke, I was on pills off and on for almost 20 years, and ya know, during all those years the doctors only checked my liver once. I'm a stay at home mom with a two year old, and I'm old! Heh...I'll be 41 in July. Add to all that, I've been stuck at home for three weeks with no car!! Literally stuck here. We have buckets of snow and ice, so I can't even take my daughter outside right now. She's going stir crazy too! Poor Syd Vicious! (Her name is Sydney)
Anyway, sorry about dumping on you guys...just needed to "talk" to a grown up, and my hubby's at work.
Talk to y'all later,
Gen

[scared_ohio]

And one more thing...my back hurts like crazy!! Pain shooting into my hip, my leg. Yippee.

[lyds]

Originally Posted by scared_ohio

My last vicodin was Jan 30th. I started Suboxone on Feb 1st...I felt really great the first couple of days, lots of energy, SO happy, etc...now, I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack any minute, or I have cancer, I know I should go see a doc, but I don't have one right now because I was caught doctor shopping. It's denial...if I don't go to the doctor, then I won't know if anything is wrong with me. Shi*, I KNOW there's stuff wrong with me. I'm overweight, I smoke, I was on pills off and on for almost 20 years, and ya know, during all those years the doctors only checked my liver once. I'm a stay at home mom with a two year old, and I'm old! Heh...I'll be 41 in July. Add to all that, I've been stuck at home for three weeks with no car!! Literally stuck here. We have buckets of snow and ice, so I can't even take my daughter outside right now. She's going stir crazy too! Poor Syd Vicious! (Her name is Sydney)
Anyway, sorry about dumping on you guys...just needed to "talk" to a grown up, and my hubby's at work.
Talk to y'all later,
Gen

That's what we're here for. Talk away.

My family is in Ohio so I know the weather has been terrible. One of my siblings has 4 kids. 9, 7, 4, 2. They've been stuck inside, too. Misery, I tell you.

I understand the denial. I know there really isn't much I can say to make you feel better, bless you. I am a smoker, too, and I know I need to quit. I was overweight, too. I took care of that about 2 years ago. I lost 60 pounds. It was hard, but it's so worth it. Have you thought about trying something like weight watchers or maybe even e-diets if being around people dealing with weight isn't your cup of tea? Just throwing things out there.

I don't know a thing about Suboxone so I can't say if the depression/lack of energy is because of it.

Hang in there, Gen. You are so worth every thing you are going through to get off the pills, and most importantly so is Sydney. Email me if you need to.

Blessings.

[scared_ohio]

Yeah, I keep saying, "Monday, I quit smoking..." And then, "Tuesday, I quit smoking..." you get the picture. I quit cold turkey the day I found out I was pregnant, then I went to a wedding, had a beer with a friend, bummed a smoke off of him, then...KAPLOW!
Wow! Losing 60lbs..!! AWESOME!! Yay you! Back in 2001-2001 I lost 103lbs by giving up soda, and drinking 7 liters of water every day. Plus I walked 2 miles a day. I lost all that weight in a little over a year, then when I was pregnant, I gained 80% back. You'd think that running around after a crazy toddler, I'd be in great shape...shyea, right. I'm hoping that once the weather warms up, we'll be walking again. Hopefully my back will let me.
Kaidog, I have to say, your shepard is BEAUTIFUL!! I had a shepard back in 86, "Fenris". Sigh...she was my baby. I'm hinting to my husband right now that I'd really like to get another one when our daughter is a little older. He's more of a "cat" person. I just love my animals period!
Have a good one everybody...
Gen

[Kaidog]

scared ohio:

Let me see if I understand this......................... you are at about two weeks of w/d and you have a severe case of cabin fever and you have kids underfoot? What? Are you running for board poster child? I'm surprised your chosen handle isn't "somebody keep me from killing the kids_ohio" What I want to know is how in the world did you ever muster the will power to quit the pills given your current situation? You are a rock girl!

One day soon you will look back on these days and laugh-out-loud at how much they sucked. It sure will make the good days so much sweeter.

Please keep posting. You fit in with our gang just right!

[scared_ohio]

Heh, I like that. Maybe "If I have to spend ONE more day watching Elmo or The Freakin Wonder Pets I'm gonna run away and NOONE will know where I am!_ohio" Watcha think?
Seriously, I'm afraid I'm losing it...I love my little girl more than anything, but I need a break.
Argh...I can't figure out this friggin board! I want to learn the colors, and all the cool stuff, but I can't find it! HELP!!!
*pant, pant* (Insert wild look here)
Gen

[lyds]

Gen,

View profile

Forum Control Panel

To the left Edit Options

Scroll down to the bottom

Change messenger editor interface to enhanced.

Save changes!

[Kaidog]

Originally Posted by scared_ohio

Heh, I like that. Maybe "If I have to spend ONE more day watching Elmo or The Freakin Wonder Pets I'm gonna run away and NOONE will know where I am!_ohio" Watcha think?
Seriously, I'm afraid I'm losing it...I love my little girl more than anything, but I need a break.
Argh...I can't figure out this friggin board! I want to learn the colors, and all the cool stuff, but I can't find it! HELP!!!
*pant, pant* (Insert wild look here)
Gen

1. Click on your own name on one of your posts.
2. Click on "View Public Profile"
3. Click on "User Control Panel"
4. On the left hand side of the screen, select "Edit Options"
5. Fill-out or change as many options as you wish, (time zone etc.) but what you're looking for is the last one which is "Message Editor Interface"
6. Click the drop-down menu and select either "Standard" or "Enhanced" Either of those will give you fancy editing gizmos.

Be sure to save your modifications.

Good Luck.

[hatelove percs]

I'M BACK I'M BACK THAT'S WHACK I'M BACK NO JACK!! YEAH YEAH YEAH! ok i'll keep the day job guys. finally this c r a p was driving me so nuts i actually spent two days decorating a my space site. anyhow, i even got a pic up on here woo hoo how fun!!! oh, scared i know how terrible it is and i am only trapped with a 14 year old. luckily she leaves for school. lol. all i do is lay in bed and get on the computer but it is my fault. guys..i am really having seriously bad cravings started yesterday. i had a huge "to do" with the boyfriend and he really hurt my feelings and it was an immediate trigger. i was even searching for pills around my house, but luckily there werent any. today i have fought it all day long and i refuse now to cave for some stupid (sorry good guys) man hurting my feelings. i really want a percocet. really. i won't, but i want one soooooooo bad. this was really getting easy too because i was hardly even thinking of them, in fact days were going by and i hadn't thought about it. augghhhhhhh!!! this is awful. just awful. i am going on three weeks now. THREE WEEKS. I want to call my doctor soooo bad. it is one minute at a time here. ONE MINUTE NOT ONE DAY. help. plus i have a damn headache that is not helping. i purposely slept all day today so it was to late to call the doctor when i woke up. jeez.

[nymommy]

ok im in!!..(i think)..this is way too high tec for me...nothing much to say..but hope this works...wont be seeing any fancy colors/fonts from me....H/l im craving bad too..out of no where...lucky for me there is no doctor to call!

[scared_ohio]

Wow...we're all craving today, aren't we??? My doc's office actually called because I didn't go to my appt to see if I was OK with my meds. I didn't call them back yet. Say a prayer for me guys, I'm calling in the morning and telling them that I'm good, and don't need anything. I CAN DO THIS!! WE ALL CAN DO THIS!!!
How's this sound? I use my flight benefits to fly everyone to Cancun and we all have a CLEAN party!!!! WOOHOO!!!
What does it mean when I'm depressed in the "real world" but a lot happier on this site? Hmm..something to ponder. Good thing I'm seeing my shrink tomorrow!
Later Taters,
Gen
OH yea....THANKS for the help with the cool stuff guys!

[hatelove percs]

ya'll do do not click on change thread views. it screws up the whole computer. this is driving me crazy. i appreciate them trying to make it better but i guess it will just take time.

[hatelove percs]

boy that is a tough one to do and i will pray for you. i haven't had to do that yet but it is going to come up soon probably. i don't have to see the doc to get my meds, just call and then go pick up a script, so it is up to me to not make the call. YIKES. i just have to not dial the number, that's all. plus a bottle of 120 percs is only one dollar! oh my gosh i hate it. it is rough, but i must do it because the one thing i know is that only the first few pills will feel good, then the rest will not do any thing for me at all except make me tired and unable to function. so that does keep me going clean. probably the one and only thing. i just cannot take enough of them any more to get a "good" feeling.

[lyds]

Originally Posted by scared_ohio

What does it mean when I'm depressed in the "real world" but a lot happier on this site? Hmm..something to ponder.

Yeah, I remember feeling the same way. I clung to this forum like a lifeline.

[lyds]

Originally Posted by nymommy

ok im in!!..(i think)..this is way too high tec for me...nothing much to say..but hope this works...wont be seeing any fancy colors/fonts from me....H/l im craving bad too..out of no where...lucky for me there is no doctor to call!

Hey there, NYMommy! Glad you're in!
I haven't craved today, but my legs have been restless and they ache. Plus, I have been a little down in the dumps. I know I will have these days and just because I am clean doesn't mean life will be perfect, but oh, wouldn't it be great if it did?!?!

[hatelove percs]

i should have gone out tonight. i always do on thursdays and i didn't and now i wish i did. i didn't return any phone calls today. i am such a brat. now it is to late. wahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

[Baby Steps]

Hey Everyone!! How was everyones day today??? I'm glad to see everyone was patient in getting back in!!! Hey NY!! Long Time No See! Missed you... I know the craving feeling and it's so bad sometimes! I usually have to find something todo and quick when it comes on. I'm so proud of you guys for not caving! And oh how easy it would be... especially for me... having a doc who keeps asking me if I need anything for this miserable pain! The temptations sometimes are unbearable but then they pass ... Thank God!! Hang in there EVERYONE... Now we can look at Anna Nicole as a prime example of chronic addiction and when you see some of her interviews ya just have to think "What in the world is she on" I don't ever want to be so disgusting and powerless... not to mention losing my life for a few pills! I mean that girls life was and continues to be a train wreck! So hopefully watching her will help anyone struggling with addiction to take a closer look at their lives. That poor baby.

Anyway... Hey Kai.. HL (Great to have you back!... Syd... did you ever make it back?... Tamm... where are you girl?? Hey ComingHome... Hope your doing good today!!... Lyds... Oh Yeah... The beach sounds so so good to me! Especially now!!! Let's go! ... Scared... Great to see you too girl... I really hope things get better!!! I so remember the Barney days and that was when I wasn't taking meds.... I can't even imagine having to deal with that coming off of meds!!! Geez... That purple thing and that song used to send me right over the edge!!! Lisa Girl... If your lurking... I hope all is well with you and your family and I miss you much!! BTW if you go to page 101 (which I accidentally ended up on by accident... you'll all find that Abey condemning Mort for being on sub and Lisa Girl Whooped her Butt... Colorada Style!!! Whoo Hoo... I was so proud of you then when it happened and am still proud of you now for defending poor Mort... It literally sent Mort away and if you'll notice... Abey is back and doing the same thing on other boards now or again! Loser!!!

Ok... I've used enough space... I luv you guys!!!

[Baby Steps]

Originally Posted by scared_ohio

Wow...we're all craving today, aren't we??? My doc's office actually called because I didn't go to my appt to see if I was OK with my meds. I didn't call them back yet. Say a prayer for me guys, I'm calling in the morning and telling them that I'm good, and don't need anything. I CAN DO THIS!! WE ALL CAN DO THIS!!!
How's this sound? I use my flight benefits to fly everyone to Cancun and we all have a CLEAN party!!!! WOOHOO!!!
What does it mean when I'm depressed in the "real world" but a lot happier on this site? Hmm..something to ponder. Good thing I'm seeing my shrink tomorrow!
Later Taters,
Gen
OH yea....THANKS for the help with the cool stuff guys!

Hey Scared... I thought your doctor refused to see you because he thought you were doctor shopping? And now he's calling to see if you're ok and need pills??? I'm confused by your doctor! LOL Maybe he needs a shrink! LOL

[scared_ohio]

Hey Babysteps,
Girl, I had SO many doctors it was insane. The doctor that called today was my pain mgmt doc. I was shopping between family doctor and dentists and urgent cares. It sux because my back is hurting SO bad today! Pain in my legs, hips, everywhere! Here I go whining...sorry.
I know the suboxone isn't for pain relief, but I swear those first couple of days I was on it, I wasn't having a lot of pain. Weird. But my legs are STILL swollen, I can't remember who else was having this problem...I think Tamm? Anyone out there with "cankles" like me from fluid retention?
Have a good night!
Gen

[Baby Steps]

Oh Scared That's horrible! I remember you telling us the pain mgmt dr wouldn't see you and that your doc referred you to a neurologist or something so you went on sub. So I probably missed something along the way... Who gives you the sub? The pain management clinic?

[hatelove percs]

girl, i am headed for the florida keys as soon as i get outta school for spring break. u should go too or come for a few days if u can get off!! i think i am staying in marathon. this is ultimately not all pleasure though because this is where i will end up living after i graduate so i am going to be looking at property and also am going to talk to Monroe county sheriff dept about employment options, but definately hit that beach also!!!!! two of my classes have been canceled due to weather and havent rescheduled yet and i am still hesitating to definately book the trip b/c i am afraid they are going to do the make ups right when i want to leave. yuck. i hope we can make them up, like, all in the next two weeks. also i have never driven anywhere out of state alone!!!!! i am freaking scared i will get lost and accidentally drive to texas instead. lol.

[hatelove percs]

where is tamm and lisa and syd and tom?? did everyone get fed up with tryin to get back on here?? i miss all my friends. cry cry sniff sniff

[sydbean]

Okay, I have made it back to the forum and almost all in one piece!! HURRAY!!!

Wow, everyone has pictures to share. I will have to say that although I have made it back to my original name I can't figure out why on this profile I can't put a picture. When I used the other name for a total of five minutes when I went to edit the forum settings etc. there was an option on the left that was titled something flashy like "add picture to profile" LOL. But honestly it was that simple. Now I don't have that option and for the life of me can't seem to get it to let me diddly.

A couple of shout outs:

H/L~ I know you are having a hard time and it totally sucks. Just remember that it just isn't worth and the as the saying goes... "ONE IS TOO MANY AND A THOUSAND IS NEVER ENOUGH!" No truer words have ever been posted!! Use it like a meditation mantra. It really is very simple but isn' t that what they say. Keep it simple. Right? You can do this....you are doing this and we are all so happy for you. Hold on to that. Keep it close and know that you are living in a day that you chose not to use. You did it. Every day is an accomplishment. Keep up the good work!!!

Scared Ohio ~ I am a bit confused like I believe Babysteps is. Now as you stated you were nabbed for dr. shopping and in that process they provided and accurate list of all the drs. (and dentists) you had been too as well as all the prescriptions that you had filled, correct? Now I assumed that you were getting the suboxone through a clinic or dr. but now it occurs to me that perhaps you had to use some "other resources" due to your dr. shopping bust? What worries me is the fact that all your drs. should have been contacted and I believe you indicated that they had been informed. If you were getting the call from your suboxone dr. that would be bad not to call back because a missed appointment or lack of contact can cause them to drop you from the program and as they are limited to 100 patients they may be willing to do that pretty easily. Now, the part I am concerned about. If you did get a call from a dr. that you have seen and they were asking if you were all set with you meds....I smell something rotten. I think that you should call them back and very clearly state to them that you are currently under treatment and you will not be needing anything from them etc. I just think that if they have a case of dr. shopping to pin on you how much would they love for you to call that number back and tell them you want pain meds....BUSTED!!!! I think it is very likely the case. Honestly, why else would any one of those drs. involved contact you for such a reason???

Maybe I am paranoid but I would hate to see you get totally screwed by those guys...it just seems very odd to me...What do you think Babysteps. Did you find it odd????

Okay a shout out to all my other peeps. I am going to go and fight with the edit feature some more and see if I can't horrify you all with my pics. LOL!!!!!

[tom316]

Tom is in the hizzy! I've been lurking a little bit.Not! I've been making homemade clam chowder for the past few hours and now I'm kicking back having a beer.I now,I now I'm crazy.Sometimes I'll eat an apple without washing it off first.Stand back, I'm nutz!I'll even run with scissors.I am sofa king we tar ed!It must be the beer or lack of sleep.

[tom316]

Snoogan's Syd!Where the hell have you been?

[sydbean]

H/L~ I may have missed this one but what are going to school for???

[sydbean]

Tommy my pal...I have been fighting my way on to this new forum. I was a very unhappy character to find it all changed. After I was done sulking for a while I decided that my loathing it aside it was time for me to set myself up and make a post. This of course proved to be much easier to say than to do......Long story short...here I am again!!

Are you running around with scissors again....don't do it naked or else you may lose something if they happen to drop from your hands. LOL !!! sorry I just started to picture it in my head and it was good.....LOL!!!

So, where is the picture of Thomas at?????????????????????????

Snoogins sugar!!!

[Baby Steps]

Hey SYD and Tom and HL!!! Syd... I am so glad you made it and Tom you too Sweetie!!! HL... Oh how I wish I could go with you!!! I have so much to do at work with another conference in Philly coming up and a Marriott inspection as well as still playing catch up from when I went to TX... Ugh!!! But please sip on a fancy pink and red drink with the umbrella for me!!! Make it two!!!

Tom... That clam chowder sounds mmm mmm so good!!! Can I have some???

Syd... Yes I find the scared thing very strange... I hope they aren't setting her up. If she''s on sub she shouldn't be seeing another doc. or pain management... so either I missed something along the way or something is wrong... so scared please be careful... why did you have a doc appt. at a pain mgmt. clinic if your on sub? Do they know your on sub? because even if you took pain meds they wouldn't work because you're on sub... am I right Syd? Scarred... please let us know how all of that turned out because maybe we missed something since the dr. shopping situation. We just care about you and don't want to see you get hurt or in trouble. They were pretty mean to you if I remember correctly... Anyway... I love you guys and CAN'T SLEEP!!! Hey Tamm... I bet those pups are running you crazy!!!! How is your taper?

Hey ComingHome... how was your day today??? I hope your doing well!!!

I'll be around for a few minutes guys...

[sydbean]

So, here is my sad but true crisis of the evening. I have recently purchased a new microwave. Before this I had the same micro for many, many years. Well, I guess I never really realized that with all them new fangled advancements micros have come a long way. Now I have this new one and I am sizzling everything to an inch of it's life. I swear I now realize that gerbil I had running on the wheel to spin the crank that made my micro work is some how out dated....???? Can you imagine such a thing??????

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr yummy crunchy slightly sizzled suppose to be chix nuggs. UGH!!! I give up.

[sydbean]

Hey Babysteps ~ Did you notice that we may have lost one person in the transition to the new forum....I will give you a hint she was a very annoying Chikkk (get it?) I have not seen her, have you?