[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

Good Morning!

[tamara02]

Hi Trying to get motivated this morn.sorry you are feeling down,at least you didn't run out and get those lil devil pills,that's something to be proud off.I think you said you quit again this past x-mas,right??

[tamara02]

boy I think the post is stuck,lol Tamm

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

I'm ok, a little down, but I'll make it lol. And how are you?

[tamara02]

Ok let me try again,the post got stuck or something,lol,Hey ,You stuck it out and didn't go get those lil devil pills,right???that's something to be proud of,I think you said you stopped using again this past x-mas? Just keep it up ,Girl,I know you're feeling down maybe a walk might help or I know Shopping!!!!Yeah,lol,that helps me sometimes,Tamm

[tamara02]

Hey thats great satany,and remember you dont have to get up and say anthing,if you dont want to ,the 1st few I went to I just listened to everyone else,the people are so sweet,you;ll enjoy it,let me know how it turns out,Ok,Tamm

[lyds]

quote:Originally posted by Kaidog

Day 27 - - - Sneaking-Up on 4 Weeks!

Baby Steps: Marriott? We stayed at the downtown Marriott in San Francisco this past weekend. What an awesome place! 39 stories of luxury and oppulance. And, 24 years at the same job? Wow! Now that's impressive.

Clean Date = 01/05/07

Congrats, congrats, congrats!!! This is awesome, Kaidog!

I suppose I should change my clean date because of my relapse on Monday. I don't know though. It didn't mark my spiral back into using. What's the proper protocol for something like this? [:I]

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

Yes, Christmas Day was my last vicodin. 2 days ago I took some percs, they just made me sick. Tonight Im going to my first NA meeting, so hopefully that will go well.

[lyds]

quote:Originally posted by SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY

Yes, Christmas Day was my last vicodin. 2 days ago I took some percs, they just made me sick. Tonight Im going to my first NA meeting, so hopefully that will go well.

I really hope it goes well for you tonight, Satany. I am routing for you!!

[tamara02]

Ya satany alot of it is the mental part,and just talking or going to n/a meetings ,helps alot,a mind is a powerful thing.good luck and let us know how your 1st meeting went,ok,Ill be thinking abt.you..Tamm

[lyds]

quote:Originally posted by SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY

I'm ok, a little down, but I'll make it lol. And how are you?

I am sorry you are down. That is one of the worst parts, isn't it? I pray your day just keeps getting better and better!

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

I will do that. I need to do something because obviously this trying to quit on my own isn't working.

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

Thanks Lyds! Yes the depression sucks. Half the time I don't even know what to do with myself. I started doing the daily affirmations and I found one that is my new slogan, so that helps a little.

[lyds]

quote:Originally posted by SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY

Thanks Lyds! Yes the depression sucks. Half the time I don't even know what to do with myself. I started doing the daily affirmations and I found one that is my new slogan, so that helps a little.

I don't know if this well help or not because I am new to being clean. And, if you've read, I relapsed a tad Monday. But, since that day my depression has gotten a bit better every day. I know I'll still have my moments, but right now I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and just Monday I wondered if I ever would.

Hang in there!!!

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

my last relapse was also monday. that is what made me realize i CANT keep doing this alone. i'd go a few weeks and relapse...i've done is tooooo many times in the last 3 years. but, as you said, there is a light at the end of that tunnel. im starting to see it lol but its a little dim! Good luck to u as well, and i will keep u in my prayers

[lyds]

quote:Originally posted by SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY

my last relapse was also monday. that is what made me realize i CANT keep doing this alone. i'd go a few weeks and relapse...i've done is tooooo many times in the last 3 years. but, as you said, there is a light at the end of that tunnel. im starting to see it lol but its a little dim! Good luck to u as well, and i will keep u in my prayers

Thanks, Satany. That helps so much!

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

Anytime!!!

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

quote:Originally posted by tamara02

Ya satany alot of it is the mental part,and just talking or going to n/a meetings ,helps alot,a mind is a powerful thing.good luck and let us know how your 1st meeting went,ok,Ill be thinking abt.you..Tamm

I didn't even see this post lol. I found a meeting tonight for only women so maybe that will make it a little easier...and i'll let you know how it went!

[tamara02]

thats great satant,will be looking for your post.Tamm

[tom316]

Snoogan's Everyone! I'm still alive! I've been busy painting and stuff. Got some of my energy back. I stopped taking the anti d's and my energy seems to be coming back.Go figure!

Baby steps- If I get a chance later I'll email you.Too busy right now.

Tamm-What's going on with my partner in crime? How's the pups?

Syd-Where have you been.I haven't seen you on here too much.I hope the muscle head isn't giving you any trouble.

Hate love-What's new? Ain't talked to you in awhile.


Gotta go and start painting but I should be on tonight.Snooch!

[ButterflyNbama]

quote:Originally posted by hatelove percs

wow BUTTERFLY your story was truly inspirational! you have accomplished something many of us only wish for. truly awesome.i hope i can be like that one day. i am on day two of i don't know what time quiting.

[:I]

<h3>Thanks sweetie!!! You can do it! You just have to really set your mind to it & trust no one around you that won't be the type of influence u need right now. I can say that during my detox of  methadone, I took a few  Valium &  Xanax to help with the anxiety & my messed up state of mind that I was in at the time. I think I even took 2  Tylox during that 1month & a1/2 of w/draws.  Don't be ashamed if you slip up. It's bound to happen, but don't take the valium or xanax if you also have an addiction to those types of meds also.  U don't want to go from one addiction to another. But I would recommend trying to get your hands on a few if you can. It'll really help you sleep at night & makes it possible to sit up & have conversations w/out being out of your mind in misery. I remember not having any cravings for the dones, not being able to eat for a whole month, finally being able to have a bowel movement-it just wasn't the kind I was hoping for. Dones, like most opiates constipate u, but I wasn't able to go except maybe 1 time a month & it wasn't alot. I was finally able to go out for some drinks w/family & friends & have a great time, after 2yrs of not being able to drink alcoholic beves.,because it didn't taste the same. Boy, I can remember during Alabama's football season, we always go tailgating & drink & cookout before going to the games, & my husband & I would just be looking at everyone w/a beer in their hand, salivating. Needless to say we didn't go tailgaiting, but 2 times in the whole 2 yrs. I was on the dones. Sweetie, I know I talk too much,but I always have lots to say.  Just know that no one & I mean No One goes through detox w/out a relapse.  Just stay away from what the clinic calls OUR triggers. Those people, surroundings, smells, music, & especially stressors that make you think about or crave that feeling of getting high are things to try your best to stay away from until u know, the way I now know, that even if those things r around or on your mind it won't make a difference in the world. Anyways, I'll quit my yapping, but know I'm here for ya, especially if u need support or just have a question.-ButterflyNbama- kay[?]

</h3>

&lt;font size="4"&gt;&lt;font color="violet"&gt; Anyone who truly honestly wants a life without Methadone, can achieve it! Your inner strength is truly the only ally you have in conquering such a cruel addiction!!!!- ButterflyNbama&lt;/font id="size4"&gt;&lt;/font id="violet"&gt;

[ButterflyNbama]

quote:Originally posted by tom316

Butterfly-I know what you mean about the methadone clinic.If you're paying you're staying.that's why this past x mas eve I went cold turkey from 100 mgs of Methadone.I caught on to their little game then I found out that 1 dose only costs them $1.00 per person.Days 9&10 sucked pretty bad but I haven't had any cravings.

<h3>;)Tell me bout it.  In my house there was 2 of us going so, we were spending close to $600 dollars a month on the stuff & they treated us there like they were giving us some free clinic treatment.  I just couldn't stand how they never want to have groups or discussions about detoxing or what to expect & things you can do to make you more comfortable during your detox experience.[V]I hated having these nurses handing me my medication like I was in a nursing home & then watching me through a window making sure I didn't screw up my drug test while I peed, not to say there weren't people that tried that stuff everyday. But you have those there that are really there to get their lives in order & those that just find it as a way to get more drugs w/out the worrying of forgeing scripts, getting red flagged by physicians, or gettin arrested for having a controlled substance w/out a script.  There were people there that were constantly failing their drug test. They never went to any of the therapy groups. It truly frustrated me because what little freedom & opportunity we were given because of our addiction, these type people couldn't have cared less. I TRULY :Dwant to congratulate you on your conquering of the demon & wish you only the best & can say that I have faith that out of our struggles we have now become stronger individuals who can now share our experiences with our addictions w/others & hopefully help them KNOW that if you fight hard & keep your thoughts clear on overcoming your addictions, you'll make it all the way to the part of your life you've realized you never knew existed because u were always too f***** up to see it. [xx(]Anyway, hope we can talk again soon. [:X]ButterflyNbama[:X]

</h3>&lt;font size="4"&gt;&lt;font color="violet"&gt; Anyone who truly honestly wants a life without Methadone, can achieve it! Your inner strength is truly the only ally you have in conquering such a cruel addiction!!!!- ButterflyNbama&lt;/font id="size4"&gt;&lt;/font id="violet"&gt;

[SaTaNYkBuTTaFlY]

quote:Originally posted by ButterflyNbama

<h3>;)Tell me bout it.  In my house there was 2 of us going so, we were spending close to $600 dollars a month on the stuff & they treated us there like they were giving us some free clinic treatment.  I just couldn't stand how they never want to have groups or discussions about detoxing or what to expect & things you can do to make you more comfortable during your detox experience.[V]I hated having these nurses handing me my medication like I was in a nursing home & then watching me through a window making sure I didn't screw up my drug test while I peed, not to say there weren't people that tried that stuff everyday. But you have those there that are really there to get their lives in order & those that just find it as a way to get more drugs w/out the worrying of forgeing scripts, getting red flagged by physicians, or gettin arrested for having a controlled substance w/out a script.  There were people there that were constantly failing their drug test. They never went to any of the therapy groups. It truly frustrated me because what little freedom & opportunity we were given because of our addiction, these type people couldn't have cared less. I TRULY :Dwant to congratulate you on your conquering of the demon & wish you only the best & can say that I have faith that out of our struggles we have now become stronger individuals who can now share our experiences with our addictions w/others & hopefully help them KNOW that if you fight hard & keep your thoughts clear on overcoming your addictions, you'll make it all the way to the part of your life you've realized you never knew existed because u were always too f***** up to see it. [xx(]Anyway, hope we can talk again soon. [:X]ButterflyNbama[:X]

</h3>&lt;font size="4"&gt;&lt;font color="violet"&gt; Anyone who truly honestly wants a life without Methadone, can achieve it! Your inner strength is truly the only ally you have in conquering such a cruel addiction!!!!- ButterflyNbama&lt;/font id="size4"&gt;&lt;/font id="violet"&gt;

I went through a place like that myself. $120 a week and they treated it as if it were an assembly line. During non-clinic hours they did have counselors "on call" but they never got back or if they did it was hours later, kind of defeated the purpose of the call in the first place. I ended up leaving the program and relapsed, it was no help at all. Since then it's just been a never ending battle...

[hatelove percs]

hey TOM: actually i sent ya an email yesterday i believe it was. well, on day three i am not feeling as well after all. this is the first day i haven't taken the propanolol also, probably a connection maybe, who knows. just low energy, less motivated, kind of depressed. my mind was so much clearer yesterday. i was driving the same road (called north outer road), along the interstate, to school that i have been for almost three years, and i guess i must have always been in my opiate fog before, because it is the first time i realized it is Route 66! hahaha. how sad that is. i know it runs through here, but i didnt know that was it. duh, the signs are all up and down it. CONGRATULATIONS to all on the clean time. keep up the good work! it is u guys that give me inspiration. beleive it or not, LYDS, the fact that you took one, and got right back up on that horse, so to speak, makes me truly admire you because i have never been able to do that. that is awesome courage, girl. i wish we had NA meetings around here, SATANA, we don't have anythingexcept methamphetamine factories. lol. its the truth! we are the meth capital of the world. well, a little east of us in franklin county (where that ben ownby dissapeared from) its about 30 minutes from here. so i guess we got child molesters too. my town is not even 3000 people. the closest "big town" is 13,000 and they used to have NA that my boyfriend started but it petered out when several people died of overdoses (not kidding)and people kept coming in stoned. every teenager where i live is on probation for something, all their parents have been on probation for something. so sad. but we have wineries!!

[tamara02]

Hi guys ,hi Tom,bud.boy my computer is doin weird stuff again ,im reading your posts ,but I have to move my arrow like im reading a banner.do you know how I can fix that ,it happened the other day ,too!! pups are doing great,I was holding one a few minutes ago and it pooped all over me,lol,don't laugh to hard,love ya tamm

[tamara02]

Hi guys ,hi Tom,bud.boy my computer is doin weird stuff again ,im reading your posts ,but I have to move my arrow like im reading a banner.do you know how I can fix that ,it happened the other day ,too!! pups are doing great,I was holding one a few minutes ago and it pooped all over me,lol,don't laugh to hard,love ya tamm

[tamara02]

Hi guys ,hi Tom,bud.boy my computer is doin weird stuff again ,im reading your posts ,but I have to move my arrow like im reading a banner.do you know how I can fix that ,it happened the other day ,too!! pups are doing great,I was holding one a few minutes ago and it pooped all over me,lol,don't laugh to hard,love ya tamm

[hatelove percs]

aughhhh! TAM: my computer is doing it too. plus i have to go back a page to post anything and it takes a real long time to go to page 301. your post showed three times. computers irritate the daylights outta me. but its day THREE. woo hoo. i cannot wait till it is past day five. i really want to soak in the hot tub because of the chills, but it is five degrees outside, so i do not think that is gonna happen anytime soon.. lol. i am looking to move to florida soon, truly! i just have to get up off my butt and make it happen. i am so afraid i will miss my dad, though cause he lives here. i know he would visit, but still...any if u guys live there? i am looking at Sarasota County.

[tamara02]

H/L Same here.Maybe we should report it to the guy in charge,do you know how,Tamm,Im from Jax.,Fl. love it and miss it,heck,move your Dad with you!!!!Tamm

[tamara02]

Hi,Satany,you gonna go to a meeting this evening,if not just hang out w/us,guess we'll have to write short sentences,Tamm