[Baby Steps]

Good Morning guys!! Day 6 today! But I have to say... Where did my energy go? Wow, how long do I have to deal with this? Geez... I can't get motivated to even brush my teeth! It's like an act of congress. Talk about procrastination!! Well anyway... I'm here and at day 6 and pushing the "1 Week" mark... YES!!! I will be able to say 1 week! But I know it's still a day at a time.

I have to stop falling asleep at this keyboard... Goodness... I go to bed with it on my lap and wake up with it on my lap... Cripes!

Hey Lisa Girl!! I didn't mean to insinuate I thought your BF was perfect for you... Just that since he is right there and you two have some kind of history he's able to stand by you somewhat... I hope. But I'm with you all the way on not being able to deal with another stressful situation right now!!! That would be like suicide... because along with the breakup comes lots of ugliness and you would need the strength to focus on it and only it which is not an option for you. 1 issue at a time. And I remember you're in Denver and I think you sent me your cold wave because our temps dropped 30 degrees over night... Yikes!!! It's freaking cold outside right now... Bone chilling cold and just 2 days ago I was in short sleeves!!! I forgive you though!!! [8D] LOL

Hey Syd... Thanks for the post girl! And I was reading your response to the lady who's dad died under hospice care and That's was awesome! You are so gifted with speaking or shall I say writing!! Do you write for a living?? If not... you should! You could be our author on our new book! We could title it "Painkiller Addiction...Now What?" Huh... sounds good! You could start it with a funny ditty... as long as you dedicate it to me... Just Kidding LOL

Hey Tom... Where are you at young man?? I sent you an e-mail... and I didn't get a reply... No really... How are you doing today? Hang in there... you are such a trooper!! I am so proud of your progress and success!!

Hate Love... I love the chat room idea... I've never done a chat room before so you'll have to bare with me and hold my hand through it... ie... walk me through it... Do we all have to be online at the same time? Anyway... I am hoping you will have a Great day today girl!!! Let me know...

ComingHome... Hey you... How are you this morning? Stay focused and Hang in there I am proud of you!!! We're all in this together... whether we are considering coming off of painkillers, actually off them and struggling to stay clean, taking methadone or sub to stay away from those miserables pills or been clean a LONG time... no matter what the situation... It's all the same... We are all here together and for each other and I love each and every one of you for what you've each done for me!! And I mean each one of you have helped me to get to day 6!! Whoo Hoo!!! All I can say is... there is a special place in my heart for all of you!!!

Hey KAI... What's up? How the heck are you today??? Haven't seen as much of you and I miss you!!! Hang in there!!! Aren't you on Day 13???? That would just about equate to 2 WEEKS!!!!! OMG!!!! Excellent Well Done!!! I'm so proud of you!!!

Dublin... Where are you at again??? I believe it's close to Kai right??? I am so proud of you too!!! Keep up the good work!!!! Well Done Young Man!!!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!!!

Hey Sparky!!! Whatcha up to today??? Not beating yourself up I hope!!! Cause I'm proud of you too!!! You, like Lisa and NY have come A LONG WAY Baby!!!! Give yourself a pat on the back!!! I am! I hope you have a great day!!!!

Okay... for all I've missed... I'm praying for you as well... And I am hoping you have a GREAT day today. Please keep me in your prayers as well... It's tough out there!!! Being out of the safety of my bedroom scares me some but I will gather up enough strength to Just Say No to myself...

Lots of Love and Hugz to all,

Lori

[Baby Steps]

quote:Originally posted by nymommy

baby...mobic is an anti-inflammatory...and a very strong one...someone i work w/ is on it...also if that pill you mentioned, is as lisa said , an AD..be careful taking any herbal medicines ..i'm pretty sure the two dont mix

Oh NY Thanks so much for the info!!! That is very good to know and I want to thank you for taking the time to let me know. Because I probably would have still taken the melatonin until the amitr. started working... Very good to know - Thanks!!! You're Awesome!!! Hmmm... anti inflammatory? I have a tremendous ulcer history... and not just one at a time but always several at a time... I take Aciphex daily for it... I wonder why he gave me something that usually upsets the stomach... Hmmm... I think I want to do a little more research on this before I start trading one problem for another. Thanks again NY!!! Stay warm... I know you were enjoying the nice springtime weather we were getting too until TODAY... YIKES!!! Have a Great Day!!!

Hugz,

Baby Steps

[Kaidog]

Hey all.

I haven't had much time these past few days.............. that pesky thing called work REALLY gets in the way of posting sometimes. Feeling better with the exception of a bit of restless legs during the day time. The chills are abating however even though our weather is still cold. Tomorrow will be the beginning of day 14!! I've got to be honest.......... there were so many times that I never thought I'd get this far again.

One thing I learned from my last experience with being clean and then of course, stumbling badly, is that regardless of whether this is day one or day one million, we have to handle this one day at a time. We have to live in today and not worry about tommorow or be overly dissappointed about yesterday. Today is the ONLY day I can do anything about.

Glad to read of everyone's progress and I pray that all are moving in the direction they want.

Clean Date = 01/05/07

[Kaidog]

Baby Steps:

"Where did the energy go?" Girl...................... do I ever hear you. Frankly, I have grown to believe that the lack of energy may be one of the most difficult aspects of recovery. Mine is coming back [u]slowly </u>but I wish it would hurry-up a bit.

Congratulations on making it to day 6. Those first six days are the toughest. I know you've been through the meat grinder. Glad to hear you're hanging tough.

Clean Date = 01/05/07

[sparky]

........I JUST ERASED A BIG LONG NEEDY WHINY POST....THIS IS SO STUPID...WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO HERE THIS OVER AND OVER.....I THINK MAYBE AN ANTI DEPRRESSANT IS WHAT I NEED FOR THIS PERIOD OF MY LIFE........TO THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE TRYING TO HELP WITH KIND WORDS...I DO APPRECIATE IT ...THANKYOU...BEST TO ALL

[mpvt]

Hey Lori and Kdog you two are doing great.I know this may be difficult right now but if you can get out and go for a walk in the morning and again after supper.Drink sport drinks like gatorade as it replaces electolytes among other things.If you're not eating properly then start taking a mega vitamin daily.If you can start eating a high protient diet for a couple months.Exercise and high protien diet will really make a difference.The exercise has been shown to help kick start the production of endorphins which make us feel happy among other things.Hang in there you two.....Dave

[tamara02]

Hey guys..hope all is well ,sorry for not posting recently,I think and pray for everyone....Sparky ,I see you are having it kind of rough!! I'm sorry,wish there was something I could do!!are you still on sub,how much and for how long,reason I was asking is im on 16 mg.its almost 3 months.I've been reading the sub/bup forum on Herion-detox.com ,you would not believe the info. over there,I cant stop reading the posts,I think I've seen mvpt dave over there,check it out may help alot and answer alot of your questions,this sub.issue is nothing to mess with,and as far as anti depressants,I don't know!!!take-care ,Lisa hope all is well w/ your family,love and prayers Tamm

[tamara02]

hey,sparky also ck out the opiod detox one on there,too..tamm

[nymommy]

hey all..just a quick type.. coming up on day 3 w/o sub..its bearable, but bearly!..goosebumps..fatigue..how some of you go ct off a sizeable addiction, is really beyond me!..i decided to try at least. i'm assuming it'll get worse but i am off for a few days.~~baby i hope your day was tolerable, you too KAIDOG!..and everyone who is fighting the fight....~~sparky..i've been feeling down too, real down actually..but i know I have to participate in this fight...its tiring and all too consuming...but the quicker i get out of this mess..the faster i can move on...for me i think its that time ( i think, anyway)..please try to stay positive..

[LISA GIRL]

Sparky.. you never have to apologize for posting something you feel is "whiny." We are here to listen to and support you and we are all whiny at times! You need to snap out of this blue funk you are in. Maybe investigating the A-D option would not be a bad idea.. I have been prescribed them in the past but was scared I would gain weight and never took them regularly...I am seriously reconsidering them though.

Babysteps.. I just read some of the posts from the past few days.. have been skimming...will go back and reread when I have more time...not sure how I missed it but CONGRATULATIONS on your award! Figures that the day you call in sick is the day they decide to give it to you. But you made it thru! Hope you gaining some energy back.....and I apologize to drone on about the Pats and my Colts.. I see that is SYD's team that we are playing Sunday...you were just supporting her in her rooting. BTW Syd, great idea about the chatroom.. I will check it out this weekend unless I fly home to see mom.

Hatelove.. how can I get you my email add w/o posting it on here? I think they disabled the private message feature on the board...

All for now.. mom's test results come in tomorrow.. read some info on medical sites last night.. didn't seem to encouraging. But there's no accounting for what GOD can do. I'm praying for that miracle.

Anyone watch American Idol last night?..Good times! How funny was that girl doing the cowardly lion?

[hatelove percs]

hey peeps! how is everybody doing today? i finally got up the energy to go to the grocery store which is a big step for me. B-steps: how was your day, what # is it now? are you getting any energy back? Lisa and Syd: i am trying to do this chat room thing but tonight my computer is not cooperating. i don't know if it is the room or just my laptop, but i am thinking of trying a different site that does not ask for emails to sign into b/c that would be easier. also i don't think it saved the room and one has to make a new one each time. i'm not sure but will find out later tonight after my class.Sparky: don't u worry about whining at all, that's what we are here for

[hatelove percs]

chatroom info: ok, the room is still there: www.chatzy.com it is called "a room for us". send me an email addie for you and i can then send you an email invitation to enter the room then you can go into it any time you want. my email is: iam_onecrazeegurl@msn.com if this address didn't show go to my profile and send me an email through this forum and include your addie in the email you send me. if you don't feel comfortable using your regular email, you can probably make one just for this i would think.

[hatelove percs]

oh-there is an underscore between iam and onecrazeegurl on my email address like this: _

[Baby Steps]

[quote]Originally posted by mpvt

Hey Lori and Kdog you two are doing great.I know this may be difficult right now but if you can get out and go for a walk in the morning and again after supper.Drink sport drinks like gatorade as it replaces electolytes among other things.If you're not eating properly then start taking a mega vitamin daily.If you can start eating a high protient diet for a couple months.Exercise and high protien diet will really make a difference.The exercise has been shown to help kick start the production of endorphins which make us feel happy among other things.Hang in there you two.....Dave


Hey Dave! Thanks so much for the encoragement and the great advice!! Since I am back at work I am getting my excerise for sure however the sport drink is an excellent idea. I have been drinking vitamin water but I think that's probably way too many vitamins as I also take an ES mega multi vitamin in the morning!! Yikes.... and I'm not a big eater anyway and have lost an enormous amount of weight and I've read that vitamins need food to distribute but I think they have def. helped with energy (not saying I have a lot but am able to get through a whole day at work )So I will get the gatorade tomorrow. Thanks so much!!! You are such a sweetheart!!!

Hey Dave... you never answered my question bout how long you've been on meth and how much? Anyway, I hope you had a great day and have a better one tomorrow as I am wishing for. I will officially be at 1 WEEK tomorrow!!! Yes!!! I can't believe it!!! And I have to say outside of a little equilibrium issues it's mainly the lack of energy that's getting me because that is followed by a case of the A**!! [xx(]

Hugz,

Lori

[Baby Steps]

quote:Originally posted by sparky

........I JUST ERASED A BIG LONG NEEDY WHINY POST....THIS IS SO STUPID...WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO HERE THIS OVER AND OVER.....I THINK MAYBE AN ANTI DEPRRESSANT IS WHAT I NEED FOR THIS PERIOD OF MY LIFE........TO THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE TRYING TO HELP WITH KIND WORDS...I DO APPRECIATE IT ...THANKYOU...BEST TO ALL

Hey Sparky... What they said!! You can whine, bit** and moan all you want!! Just as long as you will listen to our whinning, bitc***g and MOANING!! hehe... Maybe you could ask your doctor about AD's like Miss Lisa said... you can always quit taking it if it's not working for you but remember w/AD's I think I heard you have to give it at least 4 weeks to know whether it helps. Hang in there Sparky... You are always in my prayers!!!

Hugz,

Lori ON DAY 6 and pushing 1 WEEK... YES!!! [8D]

[Baby Steps]

quote:Originally posted by nymommy

hey all..just a quick type.. coming up on day 3 w/o sub..its bearable, but bearly!..goosebumps..fatigue..how some of you go ct off a sizeable addiction, is really beyond me!..i decided to try at least. i'm assuming it'll get worse but i am off for a few days.~~baby i hope your day was tolerable, you too KAIDOG!..and everyone who is fighting the fight....~~sparky..i've been feeling down too, real down actually..but i know I have to participate in this fight...its tiring and all too consuming...but the quicker i get out of this mess..the faster i can move on...for me i think its that time ( i think, anyway)..please try to stay positive..

WHOA NY!!!! That's incredible girl!! I didn't realize you were going to quit the sub! That's a big step and I'm so very proud of you! Take things slow... try not to get frustrated that it will take you a little longer to get things done but I just have faith that your weaning down to such a crumb was such an intelligent move!! Good Job Sweetie!! You a a smart NY Cookie!! Hang in there and we understand you won't feel like posting much but do come and read often... until you are strong enough to give us little updates. My heart and prayers are with you for sure and it's funny because this morning when I was talking to God I just felt this total sense of peace and comfort! It's hard to explain but it was like a warm calming feeling. I know he is right there with you, Lisa, MVPT, KAI, Hate Love, Tom and everyone here. Bless you girl!!

I am going to take things 1 day at a time... I can not predict what will happen but sure know where I've been and where I am now and where I "hope" to be tomorrow... Baby Steps...

I hope you have a Great Day tomorrow NY!! Luv ya and Big Baby Steps Hugz...

Lori

[Baby Steps]

quote:Originally posted by LISA GIRL

Sparky.. you never have to apologize for posting something you feel is "whiny." We are here to listen to and support you and we are all whiny at times! You need to snap out of this blue funk you are in. Maybe investigating the A-D option would not be a bad idea.. I have been prescribed them in the past but was scared I would gain weight and never took them regularly...I am seriously reconsidering them though.

Babysteps.. I just read some of the posts from the past few days.. have been skimming...will go back and reread when I have more time...not sure how I missed it but CONGRATULATIONS on your award! Figures that the day you call in sick is the day they decide to give it to you. But you made it thru! Hope you gaining some energy back.....and I apologize to drone on about the Pats and my Colts.. I see that is SYD's team that we are playing Sunday...you were just supporting her in her rooting. BTW Syd, great idea about the chatroom.. I will check it out this weekend unless I fly home to see mom.

Hatelove.. how can I get you my email add w/o posting it on here? I think they disabled the private message feature on the board...

All for now.. mom's test results come in tomorrow.. read some info on medical sites last night.. didn't seem to encouraging. But there's no accounting for what GOD can do. I'm praying for that miracle.

Anyone watch American Idol last night?..Good times! How funny was that girl doing the cowardly lion?

Hey Lisa Girl!!! How the heck are you tonight??? You are also doing such an incredible job at keeping those pills away from you! I can only hope I stay that strong... I like being clean it feels like such a freedom! But I also know how powerful they are and because of you guys I know to expect the mind games... I would've never known or been so prepared had you guys not warned me in your daily posts and chats!! Thanks Girl! You are such a ray of sunshine in here like SYD, NY, Hate Love and all!

I know everything is going to be OK with Mom! Stay positive like you are and it's normal to worry for goodness sakes it's your mom and you feel helpless not being right there but she knows you love her and would kill to be closer and that's what matters... think about it, we're mom's... and isn't that how we would feel? Yep! And that's all that matters.... I hope you will be able to get down there this weekend like you are hoping... We'll see... I am right here for you any time! And if you ever just want to talk sometime I will e-mail you my numbers... believe it or not we seem to have a lot in common and I'm a great listener, talker and shopper!!! LOL Anyway... stay strong and get as much rest as possible!!

Me? I'm on day 6 girl!!! Pushing 1 WEEK which I never thought would happen especially this past weekend but believe it or not all my blog hogging and posting helped me to keep my mind off of it. I know everyone was like... OMG That Baby steps doesn't Shut Up does she??? LOL But I had to focus on something else... something positive.

I wish you all the best this week and weekend... please let me know how everything works out tomorrow ok? OK!!

And OMG That American Idol was UN Freaking Real!!! I don't think I've laughed so much in a long long time!!! I can't believe those people think they can sing!!!! Hilarious for sure!!! I'm certainly not seeing even the slightest potential for an American Idol!!! Too Funny!!!

Luv Ya and Big Baby Steps Hugz!! [8D]

Lori

[Baby Steps]

quote:Originally posted by hatelove percs

oh-there is an underscore between iam and onecrazeegurl on my email address like this: _

Hey Hate Love!!! Thanks so much for doing all this to get us all together! You such a sweetheart! I sent you an e-mail... So Hook Me Up... [8D]

I hope you, SYD, Tom (hey Tom I sent you an e-mail too... Go get it! [8D] ) Dublin... where are you dublin?, coming Home... How are you doing today??? Thinking about each and everyone of you...just can't type no more right now... My arm feels like it's about to fall off... and I think I'm getting carpal tunnel...LOL JK of course

I love you guys!!! Have a restful night and a better day tomorrow!!!

Lori.... Day 6 and pushing 1 WEEK! YES YES YES!!! [8D]

[hatelove percs]

k guys u should get the invites for the chat. sparky: hope to talk to u there too, and nymommy and tom and coming home and everyone. we will have to set up a schedule time so we can all blab.

[Baby Steps]

I've wrote a little dtty myself tonight and here it goes....



Look at her she's the Queen of Control (DOC)

How did you ever find me

Were you looking for my soul?

You sucked me in and made me feel whole

Look at you Miss Queen of control

You made me so happy

My life you think you stole

Well I've got news for you

I've packed your bags... We're Through!

Here's to you...Miss Queen of Control

I lived with the fear of breaking up with you

I have now taken back my soul

It's always been a major goal

So I say Good-Bye to the Queen of control

It's time for me to ROLL...



Baby Steps on Day 7... 1 WEEK!!!

[sydbean]

Hello All~

Well it seems to me that I am getting on-line later and later these days. I have to drag my 13 yr. old by the hair to get her off the darn thing. LOL Well, now that I think about it I guess I shouldn't complain because my parents bought HER the darn computer. Yeppers it is hers. They decided that she needed a state of the art up to date deal. So, they ordered it from DELL with all the goodies they thought she would be needing. I was just as excited as she was. Our computer at the time was crud. Just to get on-line was a 20 min. wait and then it would kick you off or take so long to load the pages that it would boot you. I almost threw the thing of the porch a few times. Anyway, my point was..................

I had no point. LOL

Okay, wait, I did!! It was about me getting on later and later at night. I feel like I must be posting after everyone has gone to bed so I always imagine, as I type, that I am talking to myself. Earlier in the evening it seems more like I am talking to someone out there that will read it shortly...I know it is an odd way of looking at it but I am an odd duck...as you well know!!

So, Babysteps. WOW almost to the one week mark. DAY SIX!! You rock!! But please, be very careful. You are in the danger zone now. You don'thave enough clean time to be able to relax. You must stay sharp and stay clear of all the tricks your mind is going to play on you. It still wants what it doesn't have and don't think for a second it will play nice!!!!!!!! Remember that awful panic and dread you were feeling before your weekend? Don't forget it for a second. I am so proud of you and I want you to keep on going so I just wanted to remind you that when you are feeling some things, like being really exhausted, part of it is your body recovering and part of it is your mind trying any way it can to convince you that just one pill, just this once, only this one time, will help you feel less tired/depressed. Tricky, tricky, tricky addiction and never forget it!!!!!!!! Now back to how awesome you are doing!! Hurray Baby!!!! BTW~Thanks for the props on the post and my writing. I write. It is what I do. I have had a few things published and I continue to work on a novel. Funny thing...the first thing I had published was an essay style commentary article about teens and drug use. Ironic, huh? Second thing I had published was a commentary about why it is okay to send our 18yr. old children to war. Why we trust an 18yr. old to vote for who should run our country. Why the court system says at 18 you are a legal adult but all that being said we don't allow that 18 yr. old to drink a can of beer. You at 18 will go to Iraq and decide to kill or let live men, woman and children totally at your discretion...but no, you are not capable to decide if you are okay to drink....

Ugh!! As you can see I find it silly. Anyway, thank you so much for saying that about my writing. It really made my night. I struggle with the frustration involved in my writing (it goes slower than you think it would when working on a novel) but It is all I have ever wanted to do. I won a young authors contest when I was 12 and I never looked back!!


Hatepercs~ Great job with finding us a chat room spot. I can't wait until we can all chat live!! fun!!

Kaidoggidy~ Wow going on 14 days. That is a entire half month. That is amazing!!!

NYMommy~ keep up the good work with the sub. I think that if you can keep increasing the amount of time between doses you are just going to be able to walk off of them rather than jump. Are you planning on just seeing how long you can go or have you decided to just jump now? I was not sure exactly what you were planning.

Lisa ~ You and your Mom will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow. I hope you get the news you want.

Sparky~ We all MUST complain. It is a MUST!! Let's face it. It is very therapeutic. Yes, of course there is a time to buck up and just deal with it but NOT here. Not on this message board. We are all hear to listen to each others bullsh*t and to dab each others tears and wipe all our runny noses. We are a group of people that know what it is like to feel like sh*t, inside and out and the only thing that makes it even a little bit tolerable is when we get to complain about it to friends that listen with an open mind and heart and give us a tissue and tell us they understand and they have been there!!! So, to you Sparky I say: LET IT OUT!!!! B*tch, complain, scream, shout, cry, curse and wallow in it!! This is the place because when you are done with all of that. We will all still be sitting here reading, writing back and waiting and hoping to hear from you again. You can't get rid of us that easy...WE WILL FIND YOU!! LOL just kidden...but honestly. You are in the right place my friend. The only thing we ask is that you keep coming back and keep posting and if you can't post for whatever reason then lurk. We will always have your back!!

Hey...wait a minute...where the heck is Tom?? Anyone heard from him? Toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom???????

Cominghome~ hope all is well!! Where are you?

Lizaowen~ I hope that you are doing okay. I know you were feeling a bit down after your slip. Sometimes it is hard to recover from something like that. Even if you are still battling you be sure to still come and post. We are here for you no matter what. We all understand this sickness and how tricky it is. Don't look back~ JUST FOR TODAY, right?

Well, I hope all of you are well and a hello and shout out to all those that I didn't mention. Sometimes as I am writing a post and I see it getting longer and longer I start to imagine each of you sitting at your computers/laptops scanning down....down.....and down thinking in your heads "when the heck is the next post going to start...I mean how long can this Syd person go on for...who even gives a sh*t what she has to say........" but at that point the tears in my eyes begin to blur the screen so it's all good from there...LOL!!

Alright already. I'm done now!!

TA-DA!

Hugs,
Syd

"Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints!!"

[sydbean]

Wow babysteps!! NICE!! I like it!! What a great celebration of your accomplishment at kicking this d.o.c in the a$$. You posted that while I was off writing my last post. When I hopped over to the post page the last post was from from percs!!

Are you still up?? Probably not....hmmmmmmm I'll wait and see.

...
&lt;refresh&gt;

....
&lt;refresh&gt;

That was a preview of what I will be doing in a few minutes. Read some...hit refresh.....read some more...refresh...LOL

I HAVE NO LIFE!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

[tom316]

TOM IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!!!!!!!! (big Jay & Silent Bon fan) Snoogin's!

What's up all? Everyone is kicking the s*#t out of addiction! Keep it up.

baby steps,I sent you an email.How's today treating you? Today is 26 days!

Hatelove,who knows an opiate when he sees one,I do lol.Glad to hear you found that out sooner than later! I'm down with the chat room thing. Who's got back to you so far?

Syd,Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's up!


If I forgot anybody sorry. I'm sick as hell today! I think it's w/d from the anti d's!

[Baby Steps]

Hey Syd!!! Thanks for the compliment.... I swear I so associate the love of the "pill" to a unhealthy relationship! Like a love affair that you know is bad but your comfortable in it and you tell yourself it's better than being alone so you continue in such an unhealthy relationship. You know like you don't get those feelings you used to when you were first dating or fresh in the marriage, like the DOC! But you continue on just to avoid the misery of being alone!! Like avoiding the impending W/D!! We continued or continue in some cases, to use just to avoid the pain. Like my unhealthy 15 yr marriage! And the funny thing is throughout the entire marriage I would fantasize about leaving him and being on my own but too afraid of being alone!! Ya know? Isn't that that way addiction is? We know it's not right but we're so scared of dealing with what comes with getting off the DOC we continue on just prolonging the ultimate end! It took me waiting until it was my ex who left... I could never do it... for fear of the unknown feelings... so after he left I went through a physical withdrawal!! I felt hate and anger, Followed by a horrible grieving period... to a final sense of peace and freedom!! Does this all sound familiar??? Oh it certainly does!!! It's the Love Affair I had with the pills!!! Identical except they didn't leave a mess for me to clean up nor did they talk back!!! But if you'll notice that this time around.... I am the one who left!!! And oh what a feeling that is! I am the one in control of this this time!! And I Like It!!!

Sorry Syd for going on like this but I was associating and analyzing this this morning and just had to unleash!!! [8D]

I knew you had to be a writer!!! Wow! You see... you don't have to sit directly in front of someone to get to know them... you can get to know someone in even in this way! you ARE EXCELLENT!! And I would love to read your writing! I really think you should write a book girl... You are excellent and your writing makes me feel good and want to read more and that's the sign of a GREAT AUTHOR!!! Awesome!!

How funny you wrote about the hitting the refresh... LOL I do that all the time!!! In fact everything you wrote was exactly like me!! LOL LOL Too Cool!!!

Ok, I have to go... gotta get ready for work... I feel great today!!! 1 Week!!! YES!

Love ya and Hugz,

Baby Steps... aka Lori

[nymommy]

syd..the thing was i had no plan...was going to alternate days, then decided to take it one day at a time...i have problems sleeping, and that has been worse...i have to take something everynite...my last 1/2 of sub was monday morning at 7am..i wonder when it is completely out of the system..everyone seems to be doing so well, but like you said we are never safe ( for me anyway)..i know i can relapse at anytime..anyday....i think its always gonna be like that...hope we hear good news for lisa's mom!!

[Baby Steps]

quote:Originally posted by nymommy

syd..the thing was i had no plan...was going to alternate days, then decided to take it one day at a time...i have problems sleeping, and that has been worse...i have to take something everynite...my last 1/2 of sub was monday morning at 7am..i wonder when it is completely out of the system..everyone seems to be doing so well, but like you said we are never safe ( for me anyway)..i know i can relapse at anytime..anyday....i think its always gonna be like that...hope we hear good news for lisa's mom!!

WOW NY That is excellent!!!! I am so proud of you!!! You didn't even intend on it... oh no... YOU JUST DID IT!!!! Excellent! Hang in there and do what you can do!!! You're a tough lady I can see... Baby Steps for sure... I'll be thinking of you today!! And praying if I can get off my butt and get in the shower... argh... still no energy but oh well.. I'm grieving right now... in mourning... I'm aloud to drag as* if I want to!!!

Have a Great day!!

And yes Lisa Girl I am Praying for you! Please keep in touch today!

OMG Tom! You are doing EXCELLENT!!! I say!!!! Great Job!!! I'm so so proud of you Guy!!!! Keep it up! You make me laugh! Too funny you are for sure! Have a Great Day today... I'll go read my mail....

To all else... You are all in my thoughts and prayers today for real!!! Love ya guys and big Baby Steps Hugz!!!!

Lori

[tom316]

I'm going to file a missing person report for Syd!

[sydbean]

Tom~ Should I check the side of milk cartons for my face...wait you don't have a picture of me. You would just have to put one of my posts on the side of the box...hmmmmmmmm...that wouldn't help very much would it. LOL

I have to go to the grocery store so I gotta run but I wanted to post before Tom called the police. LOL

Talk to you all later tonight. I expect someone to be on later than 10pm EST. I DEMAND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

See ya soon guys!!

Syd

[hatelove percs]

[V]i've fallen. got my insurance back, went to the dr. to see what could be done for the migraine problem, no options it seemed like but painkillers, got 120 percocet for one dollar. i don't think i will be able to do this ever. i could keep posting like i was still clean but can't lie to u guys, u r all i have right now.

[Kaidog]

hatelove:

There are so many on this board who have stumbled before, npt the least of whom is me! I have quit and then subsequently stumbled so many times that I've lost count. I'm not implying that it doesn't suck but in your case, there may be a legitimate medical excuse?

Never the less, don't beat yourself up. Only you can determine if your renewed usage is truly legitimate or recreational. Examine your heary of hearts and if your on solid ground morally, then so be it.

Regardless, I know it takes courage to come here and post truthfully.

Hope things work out for you.

Clean Date = 01/05/07