[tom316]

I haven't been here for that long so I will introduce myself. Tom,32,south west pa,and my story is too long to tell again. You may think I'm full of it then again you may not. I have no reason to lie to anyone here,so here it goes! First thing if you are on Methadone get the heck off of it. If you are on a high dose come down slow but get off of it. I self paid for a Methadone clinic thinking it was the magic cure! Bull ****! Too many people there, that have been on it 20 years. What's up with that? Don't you get better like they say? NO!!!! I paid about $100.00 a week for treatment to find out my dose cost about $1.00 a day.If you are on it think about this because I realized it oneday.Everytime I tried to come down they would let me very slowly,then the doctor would ask me to stay at that dose for a while.I was doing great coming down but,the doctor didn't allow me to. Think about it! They don't ever want you to come off of it.They want you to think you need it! You don't. It's the american way,screw you while we make money. I'll post my story later with my other thoughts on addicition!

[hatelove percs]

HI EVERYBODY!! Wow!! you guys are doing AWESOME!!!!! I am going through this as well, i have six days now [^] off the evil opiate percocet.[)]c! i have made it through the worst withdrawl but am now entering the depression/no energy part that is the worst to me and what cracked me the last time and made me fill my script and i had made it a month but just couldn't make it through the holidays like a wet noodle so i caved. i also get severe migraines so i switched to ultram which is not an opiate but also addictive so i really don't want to take it either and only have been since i quit the percs, and have been following the script. that i think is maybe helping with the withdrawl a little up to this point because i didn't have the twitching muscles, diarhea, etc. definately not helping with the energy though. anyhow, i hope i can make it this time like you guys are!!!

[tom316]

Hey,hatelove try to get off of the ultram.I was doing some research on non narcotic pain meds,ultram isn't one. I happened to find a site that stated that ultram was in deed an opiate! It also has a warning for you to tell your dr if you have had trouble with opiate addicition in the past. The site could have been wrong but my dr wouldn't give them to me after finding out about my problem! see someone about the depression that may help also.Hang in there!try to get a med just for the migrane.

[LISA GIRL]

Hey all.. Just popping in to say hello.. Mom has a compression on her spinal cord which is causing the immobility and pain. It is stemming either from her neck or lower back. If it is in her lower back, she is basically screwed as that area is already a mess and the doctor's won't operate. If it is in her neck there is some hope with surgery. Of course she would continue to have her back pain. And just 6 months ago she was walking 2 1/2 miles around the mall...now she can barely walk across the room. She has an MRI Tuesday, results next Thursday. Sounds like her days are limited in the house where I grew up as she will need to move to a one story house/condo if she is able to live on her own.

Anyway, thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.. I have increased my sub to 4 mg per day to help with cravings for percocet..

BabySteps.. you were my main reason for posting today! Keep with it... settle in with some magazines, TV and hot cocoa and know that we are all thinking and praying for you. You are doing great.

Sorry for not addressing you all tonight. I'm still not feeling very chatty...just depressed.. the breakup didn't help this all.

BTW it is VERY cold in Denver .. -1 right now and colder weather to come they just said on the news...

Love you all.

Lisa

[hatelove percs]

tom: great. well i figured it wasn't good but i was told it was not an opiate by the dr. i guess monday when i go back i will stop it also and hopefully since it has only been a week it will cause no problems. i just read up on it and can't believe the stuff i found out. it sounds worse than the stuff i am getting off of!! i sure don't want to get hooked on this. but, the reason they ask if you are taking narcotic pain killers before prescribing ultram is because it will put you into withdrawel if you take it together with the other.

[tom316]

hatelove,what is in that stuff? I've read that in other countries you can get it over the counter but not here.is there something that sounds like it, that maybe an opiate? I'm going to try to find that site again. talk to you later.

[tom316]

You're right you should just jump on methadone and anything else you can find. Just Kidding.

[Baby Steps]

Oh Thank You so much Lisa Girl! I am so glad you were able to give us some details on Mom! There is hope and I'm hanging on to it for you and your mom! And I so appreciate your prayers and concern to come here to give me encouragement right at this very very difficult moment and I MEAN VERY DIFFICULT! I am feeling so ****py right now, like that mac truck came back last night in my sleep and HIT ME AGAIN! My house has two flights of stairs that have truly become my worst nightmare!! There not normal, they are rediculous! Like 100 steps and I stand there and think do I really really need to go down??? A few times I just turned back around and crawled back to the bed. But I'm almost through with day 1... Amen to that!

But yours and everyone in heres posts keep me going and I mean that with ALL my heart. It may seem crazy but I am truly inspired by each and everyone of you in so many different ways. You are all unique and I've gathered so much from each of you to help me prepare for this final destination. I have also gained the strength to stop this vicious cycle because of everyone here! You guys will probably never know how much but I'm hanging on to it and Thanking you all for your prayers because I KNOW God is listening and has been by my miserable side today to comfort me through this **LL.

I have to stop again as my mind and body can only take so much at a time but I will be back later.

Lisa I'm glad you increased your sub right now. I think that was a very smart thing to do! And hey... If you want some nice weather come on over to Virginia... LOL But not right now as I wouldn't be worth **** as a host...

Oh how I wish my muscles and bones didn't hurt... a couple more days right? [?]

Hugz to all!

Baby Steps to Recovery

[hatelove percs]

LOL TOM, no offense to anyone using the methadone way (and i think the suboxone may be a good choice?) but i don;t see the difference between taking methadone and just taking opiates. i don't want to make anyone mad that is using this direction to come off the opiates, but if you stay on the methadone, isn't it the same thing? (please guys don't ream me with hate emails cause i don;t mean harm i just maybe don;t understand methadone)[)]

[tom316]

from what I've gone through with Methadone it's a bunch of ****!

[dublinjoe]

It's 7 days now since I had my last pain pill. Finally starting to feel a bit normal, walked outside this morning into a lovely cool breeze and warm sunshine. It's so nice to experience simple pleasures without the constant itch of wanting another pill. At nights anxiety seems to set in, so need Ambien to sleep but only have a few left now. The depressing part is I've been here many times before and have always answered the call of instant euphoria. What's to say this time will be any different? And yet I want it to be, I'm so tired of my life revolving around taking pils and getting another prescription. I'm too tired and too old to play this game. I appreciate all the stories, the successes and the failures. No one really knows what it's like unless you're an addict. As I am.

[lizaowen81]

Thanks to everyone being so supportive, it really makes me feel proud of myself. Getting off of opiates has been the hardest thing I have had to do in my life and I was only hooked on them for three and a half months taking between 10 and 15 ten milligram lortabs. I can't imagine if I had a habit of 20, 30, 40 50 etc and had been on them for a year plus. I honestly don't think I could have handled the c/t route then. As for methadone I think that gets you higher than hydrocodone for sure. I have tried it before and it knocked me on my ass. My dad has been on it for ten years and he has no plans of ever getting off, I think it's sad personally and from what I have heard it is near impossible to get off of. I personally agree with Tom that it is just a cash cow for the docs that perscribe it.

Baby steps: Remain strong and you WILL get through this. I have complete faith in you. If you want something bad enough and (this may sound hokey to people who don not believe in God) have faith that Jesus will get you through anything, then you can do it. I will continue to pray for you every night when I have my nightly chat with God.

Kaidog: When I first used to lurk on this board about two months before I quit you were my inspiration. I knew that sub or methadone was not an option for someone like me, but I also did not knwo if I had the strength to quit c/t. When I would read your posts it would always make me feel so hopeful that I could do this. I know you will get through this and you will never go back. Just think six months from now you will feel like the person you were before opiates and probably even better because you will have overcome the first part of recovery. Of course part of recovery is not ever letting yourself get to comfortable because then you will end up convincing yourself that you are "all better." We all know that is a crock.

Lisa- your mom remains on my prayer list. Just remember that life is never easy and you can get through this without doc.

I guess I'll go pay some attention to my hubby since he's complaining that I'm always on the computer. TGIF!!!!

Liza

[Baby Steps]

HateLove we would never ream you out. You are allowed to express your thoughts here. That's what's good about this thread, you won't find all that drama you find in other threads (Syd you know what I'm talking about...LOL) and we aren't judgmental... just mental... LOL JK...

When I told my Doc I was going to take myself off these drugs Vics and Dilaudid) he was not happy because of the constant pain I'm in since they pinned me together after the accident but I ask him to find something non narcotic to aid me in my constant pain and he gave me this prescription for that Ultram. Here I was thinking it was non narcotic because he said it was and when I looked it up I found it was worse than what I was taking as far as withdrawal and addiction so you can bet he's gonna hear it from me. He said it was new and because I had never heard of it before I believed him but I am so glad I looked it up before filling it. Yikes! What are these doctors thinking??? In his defense, I almost believe he thinks it was ok because he knows how serious I am to be free from this addiction.

Does anyone have any suggestions for helping with pain with non narcotics and besides aspirin and tylenol? I can't take Ibuprofen due to ulcers. Anything would be appreciated because I am so serious about this and don't want to ever travel down this road again.

Tom, I suggest you get advice from the wonderful people here and a couple doctors. I have heard that sub is a million times better than methadone as far as the final wean and w/d. But I am certainly no expert so don't listen to me... I'm 1/2 dilirious right now anyway... [8D]

Hugz Guys,

Baby Steps

[Baby Steps]

Welcome Dublin and CONGRATULATIONS on your 7 days! That is so awesome!!! I'm only on dreadful day 1 but have faith in day 2, 3, 4 and so on. Stay strong and continue to post and read. It is the best therapy. I'm so glad you found us!

Liza... Thank you so much sweetie!!! I do believe that Jesus is carrying me through this and won't leave me. I also know it's not w/o the consequences as I know I need to remember why not to go back... as I pray... But I also know there are no guarantees and it's ultimately up to me. Thank you for your prayers!! I really do count on them all as I can't tell anyone my terrible secret here so how can anyone pray for me if they think everything is OK? So Thanks so much!!!

I Love you guys!!!

Hugz,

Baby Steps

01/12/07 (last pill 12:30pm 01/11/07

[tom316]

baby steps,I'm not getting what your saying.If it's about Methadone I've been there.I know what it is about!Been there done that!

Try getting Mobic or something on those lines.

[tom316]

Dublin,way to go 7 days! What will be different this time,That's all up to you! It sounds like you off to a great start.If you have to take it day by day or minute by minute do it! If it's been 7 days the bad stuff should be behind you! Keep it up!

[hatelove percs]

BABYSTEPS: believe me, i am praying for you! i know it is awful right now for ya. this is my gazilionth time quitting. of course i plan it to be my last, i always do, but it is an addicts nature to fall as long as we get back up again, and again and again if necessary!!! every time i quit i do positively go into it with all my heart and soul planning for it to be a life long decision. boy oh boy this ultram thing has made me mad though. here i thought i was completely clean, now i bet when i stop this (which i am going to see about monday at the dr.) i am going to have some more symptoms of w/d. i am not going to consider myself clean until i am on nothing at all except non narcotic non opiates. if this **** is either of those after i specifically asked for something that wasn't i will be so mad. some web sites say it is, some say it is not, i cannot get a straight answer! WHAT THE HECK IS ULTRAM?TRAMADOL? anyone???????????????? auggghhhhhhhh!!!! sorry.lol. i think i am going nuts from not being able to do anything but lay in bed with my dog. my house is a pig stye. i need to clean it and want to clean it. i just can't. i am soo overwhelmed with even walking across a room, you know? i know you guys all know what i mean. i walked up a stair flight today and flopped down on the bed panting like i ran a marathon. disgusting.[:0] my fridge is totally empty cause i can't get up to go to the store! gosh, when will this end?

[tom316]

this is killing me! What advice are you talking about?

[hatelove percs]

TOM: what is killing you[] oh- i am talking about my limp noodle feeling due to w/drawal from the percocet, dahling.

[Baby Steps]

Tom I am so sorry I had you confused with another poster ( a new one) so I was talking to you like you were him.... I am soo soo sorry for driving you crazy! But I won't take complete blame for driving you crazy!!! LOL I tell ya I should probably pack in the posting as my vision is going out and I can't remember who said what when I go to reply... I think I'm the crazy one!

Sorry again...

Hugz,

Baby Steps

[Baby Steps]

HateLove... I know what you mean. The 1st time I tried this I had nothing in my fridge, no vitamins, no immodium and I ran out of Melatonin... It was worse than this time but not much. Hang in there at least you have a dog...

Hey Tom... Whats Mobic?

SYD... Where are you today?

I can't sleep!!! Ugh!

Hugz,

Baby Steps

[sydbean]

2, 4, 6, 8 We're all up and it's really late! LOL!!!

Babysteps is slightly nutsy on day one of her "quest"
we know she can do it! Lots of prayers and rest!

We are all crazy posters just fighting the good fight
some still using and still far from alright

but others will guide us along the path to be clean
telling their war stories, what they have used, done and seen

Together we can do it each when our time seems to be right
some in later days or maybe like our babysteps, tonight!!

No matter how hard the path may seems to get while we try
no matter how much we scream b*tch and cry

We're all gonna make it, together our crew
a bunch of crazy junky posters getting well together....who knew!!!

[sydbean]

P.S. Here I am Babysteps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Baby Steps]

WOW SYD Your even a comedic poet!!! Jeez girl Your good... I LOVE IT!!! And your so right... I am a little on the dilirious crazy side here on day 1 and my skin is absolutely CRAWLING! Man this is terrible! But I'm gonna do it!

Hey Syd did you notice that CardDoc character is gone? The moderator locked his pushing thread down.

How was your day Missy? I am going to declare day one over!!! YES! Moving into day 2 anad can't sleep right now so I just took my melatonin so if I start not making sense you know why. Like poor Tom realized!

Hugz Girl and Thanks for the support and PRAYERS!

Baby Steps to sanity

[Baby Steps]

Well guess whats on TV??? A show on VH1 about some actors documentary on addiction and detox and staying clean. Wow... He's a very angry guy.... I guess he had some run in with that Heidi Fleis chick. How ironic. He is a great reminder of why I need to stay off that stuff!!!

[sydbean]

Yep Babysteps you have offically made it through day ONE TA-DA

I am glad you liked my little ditty!! LOL!!

Yes I think that sweetchikk really does miss him. LOL

Did everyone else go to bed?? Well, I guess I better go too.

I hope you can sleep tonight. I am sure the melatonin will kick in!!!!

I'll check in on you tomorrow!! Hang tough sweet Babysteps!!!

I'll work on a day two ditty just for you. See now you not only have another day clean to look forward too but you have the comedic verse stylings of Sydbean!!!!!! What could be better LOL!!

[Baby Steps]

Awe Syd Your so sweet! I can't wait! I think you right... The melatonin should kick in so I'm gonna try and get some sleep. I'll see ya tomorrow.....

Night all!!

Many prayers and hugz to go around!!

Baby Steps to day 2!!! Yes![8D]

[ComingHome]

Day 4 is over, opiate free. Went to another NA meeting. That is 5 days in a row. Some of those guys really are educated on the disease of addiction, and they are very welcoming and friendly. Going to bed now.

Coming Home

There is ALWAYS hope

[Kaidog]

Wow.................. What a miserable night!

Today is Day 9 for me and so far this time around, sleep ahs been relatively good and I haven't had bouts with the restless legs thing. Except for last night that is. Arrrrrrgh! I hate those things. They make sleep absoutely impossible. So, rather than keep my wife awake, I spent the night on the couch.

It's 20 degrees outside and I would have loved to share the bed with another warm human but instead it was me and the dog wandering the halls of the house.

I did come on this board and read all the recent posts, even treid to compose a response once or twice but when I would read what I had typed, it was clear that the Ambien had caused me to be 2nd had stupid.

No matter though, I am once again glad that I flushed my stash or I might have caved last night.

I'd write more but I really need to jump into the shower. I've got a funeral to get to.

Love you all and praying for each of you by name.

Clean Date = 01/05/07

[dublinjoe]

Another day, another chance for a fresh start. It's interesting to post on this site, at times I feel a bit like an outsider as many of you have 'known' each other for a long time. I was wondering how many of you go to meetings regularly, I have a feeling I should but somehow they just put me off. Not sure why. Part of it is the fact I am a fairly private person, which is why I like the anonymity of this site and yet also being able to be totally honest, if need be, and yet safe.
I've been an addict for over 10 years, all starting with migraines and a scrip for Fiorcet w/.codein. Love that codein! Then on to bigger and better stuff. I've quit so many times for a while, but it's amazing how many opportunities you get to start back up. I play competitive golf (amateur) and you only have to mention back pain, which I have - who hasn't?- and someone will mention they have Vicodin, or Percocet or something and offer it. Recently a perfect stranger gave me 50 Percs he said he no longer needed. Of course, I am pretty good at asking, without asking, if you catch my drift.
I don't know what I'd do if I were an alcoholic, the fact that my fix was on every street corner, can't imagine the pressure!
It just seems after a few months I forget the misery of addiction and get seduced by the idea of popping 3-4 Percs and feeling that initial euphoric rush. God help me. God help us all. Thanks.