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01-09-2007, 11:02 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: , , .
Posts: 28
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Coming Home:
Today is day one for you? Way to go dude! Let's kick the balls of this thing out it's roof and take no prisioners.
You and me, side by side swinging all the way.
Never exxcept no for an answer.
Never give in.
Never back up.
Marching in place will be frouwned upon as that very behaviour allow ones enemies to gain valuable distance and intelligence.
There are only two views the enemy ever ought to see of us. The 1st is in those week times when we are in full retreat and we recognize that I can not stand and fight, I'll be butchered if I do.
The other view our enemy ought to see is a full out attack............by us. Mustering whatever forces we have and charging right into the heart of his camp and destroying their ability to ever again inundate us with these pills.
How do we accomplish this?
1. We quit whining.
2. We cancel appointments with Dr. (Who really are Pushers)
3. We call all those "friends" who ALWAYS had 250 10's in her purse. We thank her for the offer and tell her that there's a new Sheriff in town who don't take much hankering to drugs.
Falling asleep at the keyboard so i suspect this will make no sense in the morning.
Hope you all undeerstand.  |
01-09-2007, 11:14 PM
| | Junior Member | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: , , .
Posts: 28
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by LISA GIRL
Well since you asked.. wasn't sure if you wanted to remain incognito, you remind me of our fearless leader KAI-DOG! I think I remember something about 400 pills stashed in a vault at one point..and obsession with proofreading! And I know he enjoyed talking with one lead paint baby! WELCOME HOME!!!
I do have a question about ativan for ya... but bed time for me now. I'll save it for tomorrow.. I think you have some familiarity with that and I have recently gotten a script for that. Glad the ambien is helping you sleep.. I love that stuff.. but you probably remember that from last time... just be careful....there are some really weird stories out there....
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And The Gold Star Goes To.............................. LISA!!!!!
Yes my friend, I am indeed Kaidog but a Kaidog too ashamed at his last failure whan I just KNEW I had it beat. At that time when I told yu all of the stash I had, which was growing everyday, everysingle member of this board encouraged me to flush them. I just knew better though.
Because of that, I have grown to realize that I simoly can not have a stash, not even a pill or two.
Geeze, This Ambien is kicking my behind and I'm sure that in the morning Ill be amazed at what I've written. Never the less, LISAGIRL gets the Scotland Yard Detective badge for discovering who I was in another life.
I awlways did like her. Christian women are sharp and are not easily deceived, unless by themselves.
Good job girl. Now, yoiu want a real brain teaser? There is one more name I have logged in with over the entire life of this board (this one in the very beginning of the board)
For double bonus points and that new Lexus you've been eying.........Who am I? |
01-09-2007, 11:26 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 356
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So glad to have you back but I hate that you felt like you had to create a pseudonym... I remember a wise man telling Angela H not to beat herself up when she slipped. We have all done that been there.. just a matter of getting back on the horse...
Oh btw.. Patmamma!! Glad you are back with an S key nonetheless.. I really skimmed over the posts tonight... will read again tomorrow.
And Once again/Kaidog...You probably should have named yourself in the list of veteran posters...the absense of your name was the smoking gun...you were such a vital part of the board for so long..didn't make sense that someone familiar with all the rest didn't list Kaidog! that and the bold lettering  What can I say.. STEEL TRAP I tell ya! My mind is a steel trap!
Ok.. now the ambien hitting and I'm getting silly. Night all..May your days and nights be pain and craving free.... |
01-09-2007, 11:30 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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Kaidog aka OnceAgain............. running for cover under the astute observation of Lisa.
You the Girl - Girl!
Now, I you can ferreott out the other nam I have used. Way back in the early days. I'll give you a hint. His writting style is exactly like mine and his name begins withan H.
Night all. Love you guys more than you know.
God Bless.
Clean Date = 09/12/06 |
01-09-2007, 11:53 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 356
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Oh man... you're making me work now.. ready to go sleep and now I'll be searching old posts.. it's good to look back on the past.. letter H huh... I think your screen name should be Sybil!! I'll be back.. may not be tonight.. but I'll get it.... |
01-09-2007, 11:54 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
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I made it through the first day clean of opiates. Going to bed now.
Coming Home
There is ALWAYS hope |
01-10-2007, 12:04 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 162
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NYmommy, I've probably been reading this board on and off for over a year. I recognize most of the major players.
Kaidog, welcome back.  You should start posting with that name again. Thanks for your words of encouragement.
Lisa, good eye. LOL
I went to an NA meeting - 2 nights in a row.
Okay, now I'm really going to bed....
Coming Home
There is ALWAYS hope |
01-10-2007, 12:06 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 741
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Hey Coming... Is it Hunterdog? I have read every single page on here over the last month and I'm thinking that's who you started out as. Let me know.... This is kinda fun. And Lisa Girl.. You are GOOD Girl!!! Kudos. If I'm right do I get the Lexus????
Peace and G'Night... My melatonin is kickin in.... You guys are hilarious on that Ambien stuff... Very hard to read your posts... Too funny...
Hugz,
Baby Steps |
01-10-2007, 12:11 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 741
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Ooops I mean OnceAgain aka Kaidog [8D]
Baby Steps |
01-10-2007, 12:13 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 741
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Oh! Congratulations ComingHome! Hang in there!!! I'm next! Friday... N Not looking forward to it in fact totally stressing....
Baby Steps |
01-10-2007, 12:24 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 356
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Baby Steps... Here I rushed to post with a little quip about Regis and My final answer being HunterDog and you beat me to it! Good Job Girl.. is it girl? Sorry I'm a little slow on the uptake with som e of the newer people. I will reread posts soon and get it together.. I promise!
I had to go waayyyyyyyyyyyyy back... before my time .. but it was unmistakeable. You are a winner! Definitely Hunterdog. You get the Lexus... and I win some sleep! Really going this time... nighty night...
COMINGHOME.. WAY TO GO!! Stay with it.. as I said to Babysteps.. have to get the backgrounds together.. the story lines if you will.... and I will soon but for now just hang in there.. you're doing great! We are all here for you.. to talk, nice lady, vent, whatever you need. |
01-10-2007, 01:07 AM
| | New Member | | Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: , , .
Posts: 7
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I am really encouraged here by those who have managed to get clean even if there was a relapse. Onceagain, how you flused them is amazing to me. I have only been doing this less than a few months, and I read how long many of you have been here. I feel so new to this and that maybe I am the only one on the front end here. The past few days have been worse than before. I took 3 hydros yesterday along with 2 valium last night and 2 hydros today and drank on top of them. I feel like I am spinning out of control. I did manange to go all day today without them, but then my mother stopped by which always is a stressor for me, and I could not take it. I just keep reading everyone's posts and hope I can stop before it gets out of hand. I have counseling appointments set up in two weeks, but to make it till then will be a test of my will. I hope I can find some encouragement here, other forums I have tried have all been very judgemental and did not seem to want to talk to "newbies". Thanks for anyone who has words of wisdom for me, as this is a very hard time. |
01-10-2007, 08:40 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by ComingHome
I made it through the first day clean of opiates. Going to bed now.
Coming Home
There is ALWAYS hope
| ComingHome:
Huge congratulations on the clean time. It's an enormous accomplishment. For me, getting started is one of the hardest aspects of recovery.
Keep us posted.
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 08:42 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by nymommy
~~welcome back kdog!..that lisa's something else!.. i thought NYer's were the saavy ones!...i usually dont post that much anymore, but YOU did draw me in, i must've sensed something subconciously...but doubt i would've put anything together~~~.often wondered bout you (and angela too)...i have clonidine pills, not a patch..very nervous to take them...why dont you use the patch again??...i wish you much luck, and again welcome home
| Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 08:47 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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nymommy:
Yeah, that Lisa is pretty observant.
BTW, I am on a single Catapres II Patch, (Clonodine). It's almost shot though so I'll peel it off on Friday.
I can't remember exactly what I posted yesterday about it but it can give yu the slows, make you lethargic and will probably give you cotton mouth like crazy. If you stop it too rapidly, most people experience significant "rebound effect" blood pressure issues and in my case, I got super BP headaches last time........... cause I took the patch off too soon.
Congratulations on your clean time and the wean thus far from the sub. You've come such a LONG way!
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 08:49 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 255
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~~welcome back kdog!..that lisa's something else!.. i thought NYer's were the saavy ones!...i usually dont post that much anymore, but YOU did draw me in, i must've sensed something subconciously...but doubt i would've put anything together~~~.often wondered bout you (and angela too)...i have clonidine pills, not a patch..very nervous to take them...why dont you use the patch again??...i wish you much luck, and again welcome home |
01-10-2007, 08:55 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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staylo74:
You've picked a great board to join. Feel free to just jump right in and post-away. One of the great things about this board is that people feel free to post just about anything. Questions, fears, failures, triumphs, ambitions, .................... just about anything.
It is rare indeed for a poster to encounter any judgmental attitude here. Really though, how can we? I have tried and failed so many times before that I'm not really sure how many times I've done the CT thing. Failed each time though.
As always, I'm hoping this is "the" time for me and I've taken some pretty aggressive steps this time to prevent another slip-up.
Please contribute as you wish. You'll fit right in.
All Others: If memory serves, isn't nsclueless coming up on a year clean?
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 09:16 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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nymommy:
Funny you should ask.
I biggest source was my Dr. who would Rx 360 Norcos every 4 weeks, not every month. On top of that I had a Nurse Practicioner who did the same.
I called them both on Tuesday morning and not only told then I wouldn't be back, I purposefully was a dick-weed for the purpose of pi$$ing them off so that they won't LET me come back, even if I try to.
Really burned those bridges. So, yes, except for my street sources I've burned the bridges to the cheap sources.
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 09:17 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 255
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kdog...did you kill your sources as well??? |
01-10-2007, 09:27 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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nymommy:
I actually wish I had recorded it with my Dr. At 1st he was flabergasted, thinking perhaps I was joking with him. As I got more and more angry with him for being so liberal with the Rx pad he became indignant. After all, he's a Dr. and I'm just an addict!
What's really strange is that I've come clean with him before, asking his help to get clean and he was actually helpful. Problem is though I kept him as my GP and always got the script like clockwork............... inspite of the problems he knew I had.
God, in retropsect I was swimming in pills.
Last night I brought my wife into the computer room and showed her most of the recent posts. She has never, ever had a problem with addiction but really liked the board none-the-less.
Geeze she's a great woman!
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 09:39 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 741
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Welcome and congratulations on your clean time and decision to get rid of the drugs!! We are all here for you and like Kaidog aka OnceAgain aka HunterDog LOL says, this is a great place to come to for support! Everyone here is GREAT and just like you!
Please keep us posted and jump right in!
ComingHome...How are you doing today?
Lisa Girl... You my dear are Too Much... LOL I am a she for sure... LOL How are you today? Did you notice Kaidog hasn't confirmed HunterDog yet.... Hey Kai... were we right?????
And NY What can I say... Your pretty awesome as well... alsmost the Mamma of the board. Always here throughout the day off and on checking on us. How was the Beach???? I am SOOO Jealous Girl!!!
Okay guys I must get ready for work so I'll be back tonight... Have a Great Day to everyone!!! Especially the ones I missed!!!
Hugz,
Baby Steps |
01-10-2007, 09:44 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 741
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Wow KaiDog... What a difficult thing to do!!! I am so proud of you!!! I couldn't have done that. Keep on Keepin on.... You sound so very determined this time!!! I will Keep you and all in my daily morning prayers!!!!
Awesome!!!
Hugz,
Baby Steps |
01-10-2007, 09:50 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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Baby Steps:
I could never have done it before either. It's just that I've failed so many times before...............even with what I thought was great resolve. I've just grown to realize that I am not stronger than this thing.
I just realized, or more correctly, I think God Himself showed me what I needed to do to get these ugly years behind me once and for all.
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 09:58 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 741
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Kai... I am counting on God when I start Friday to deliver me from this terrible addiction as well! And you guys for support! AND You never confirmed whether I was right about the Hunterdog.... Was I and Lisa right? Do I get the Lexus? LOL [8D]
Hugz,
Baby Steps |
01-10-2007, 10:08 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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Baby Steps:
They haven't delivered the Lexus to your front door yet? You ought to look in the driveway............... it's probably already there!
We are praying for you for the proper mind-set this Friday. You can do it. More correctly, God can do it in you if you allow Him.
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 10:10 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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BTW............
Day 6 and feeling much better.
Clean Date = 01/05/06 |
01-10-2007, 10:25 AM
| | Senior Member | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 741
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Kai... Got it!!! Wow Thanks she's a beauty!!![8D] And you are correct! I have to let Him take over!
Congratulations on your 6 days!!! You are through the worst of the physical!! Amen to that!! That's what I found to be the hardest even more than the mental! Keep up the good work!!! And tell your wife I said I'm proud of her as well to be such a good support for you! It says a lot about her and you are blessed to have her as she is to have you! Stay tough!
Lisa.... We were right!!!!! YES! It wasn't easy but I remembered you back then! I didn't put the Kai and Once again together though and for that Lisa Girl That was AWESOME!!! You are good!
Okay kids... Time to go to work now... [xx(]
Take Care and Hugz to all,
Baby Steps |
01-10-2007, 11:57 AM
| | Member | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 196
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can you relate.....when I get agitated or stessed....I feel weak...that is when I want to medicate in some way....although it is no longer with vikes....now I start feeling as if I need more sub or I'll have a drink....I may even flash.....has anyone experienced flashing related to our addiction...either because we are taking opiates or because we need more in our system....I have identified my stessful triggers but they are ones that cannot be avoided....so how do you deal...bite the bullet...count to 10....scream |
01-10-2007, 03:47 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: , , .
Posts: 255
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kaidog..i always remembered you speaking so fondly of your wife..thats a rare thing nowadays~~~if you remember my hubby never knew my "secret"..he does now..he's been great...but unless your an addict you never really understand the mental games that go on...so are you finding a new GP?...i didnt take the sub today...i feel like ****..such a small piece really helps me...trying not to take it today~~~wish i knew what the clonidine does to BP when you DONT have high BP..i'm very nervous bout taking it..and i dont need to feel more lethargic than i do now~~~~~SPARKY~~ we all want something when we stress out...it's simply the way we are "built" i want "something" everyday...somedays worse than others...in the early stages of sub..i felt amazing..once i stabilized i fet good/ok..now..not too good... |
01-10-2007, 06:48 PM
| | Member | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California
Posts: 239
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nymommy:
How long have you been on the sub? If memory serves, you started toward the end of Sept. of '06 didn't you?
I guess no matter how you slice it, withdrawal is withdrawal. Never the less, it is great that you've got this clean time put together and soon, very soon, even the sub will be a thing of the past. Congratulations and hang tough. I'm not sure what the half life of sub is. I know that hydro's have a half life of about 3.8 hours so amazingly it takes 3 or 4 days before there is statistically none left in the system. Then of course, it takes who knows how long for the neurotransmitters and brain chemistry to heal.
Arrrgh! The things we do to ourselves!
Had a tough day today. We did a difficult concrete pour inside a local ***** and I did not feel like being there, let alone working. I just want to curl into a ball and warm-up and sleep.
Never the less, sneaking-up on day number 7.
This has been a nice lady by any standard but I am feeling a bit better.
Clean Date = 01/05/06 | | |
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