[Emily131]

quote:Originally posted by Doggy

So if she is on the hydrocodone before her appointment then what? How long will it take for her to be clean without any withrawals? She is hoping to be clean within 3 weeks from the appointment next week. She is scared...very scared. She is scared to have the withdrawals. She also gets panicky when she has tried to go off of it before also no sleep unless she takes the hydrocodone before she goes to bed as well. I will be there with her every step of the way that is for sure but I am just trying to educate myself as much as possible beofre next week. Thanks again for all your help and support...especially you Mitzu. I guess I just have so many questions but I know everyone tolerates things differently.

Hey listen-- tell her to stop being scared and just stop and see wht happens. Ive had it with these message boards scaring the **** out of people, they did it to me. Im only 72hrs out-- but NO NO NO symptoms, nothing wacky anyway. she doesnt need suboxone until she sees how she detoxs. I was a heavy user, and I mean HEAVY!! AND CHRONIC! everyday-- 8yrs, my husband too--- we are both detoxing together-- and were shocked at how easy it is. aside from cravings, were doing great! the cure for cravings, WE DONT HAVE ANY PILLS AVAILABLE! tell her to make the choice to quit-- do it for 24hr, then 48, then 72,...... Ill let you know if my symptoms change, but i think im pretty much over my hump.
good luck!

ES

[mpvt]

Withdrawl from opiates won't kill you although you may feel like your dying.Phsyical withdrawl lasts anywere from 10 to 14 days for most people.The hard part is changing your life style after you quit.....Dave

Finally my pain is under control!!!!!!!

[Miles]

Emily131:

Congratulations to both you and your husband! While the choice to quit is extremely difficult to make, you and your husband made it and seem well on your way to good health. I wish you Godspeed.

Best Wishes,
Miles

[Emily131]

Miles:
hey thanks, anymore insight on whats to come? thanks!

quote:Originally posted by Miles

Emily131:

Congratulations to both you and your husband! While the choice to quit is extremely difficult to make, you and your husband made it and seem well on your way to good health. I wish you Godspeed.

Best Wishes,
Miles

[Miles]

Emily131.

Your are most welcome.

You and your husband may want to visit a physician to have your kidneys checked. Withdrawal symptoms can be, and often are, difficult. Benzodiazepines, for example, are stored in the tissues and fat cells. Getting the drug out of your bloodstream can take a long time. Drugs that go through the digestive tract are more quickly excreted.

Even when someone detoxes inpatient, the symptoms often feel unbearable. While the acute withdrawal symptoms generally last a couple of weeks, the prolonged withdrawal, called Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) lingers. These symptoms have been known to last a year or longer.

In addition, the person who suffers from chronic pain may initially be in more pain than they were before they began to take painkillers. Painkillers and benzodiazapines repress the body’s natural production of dopamine and endorphins (the “pleasure center of the brain”) and take over their function. After the drug is detoxed, it takes some time before the body’s natural pain receptors “wake up” and begin to function normally again.

What other options do you have as a sufferer of chronic pain? After becoming drug-free, this issue still needs to be addressed. Some people believe that they can never take prescription narcotics again and need to remain abstinent for life. Other methods of pain relief like meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, or biofeedback may provide some relief.

You will make it! From your posting, I think your attitude is positive (you "chose" to quit), and that is 99 percent of the challenge that lies ahead for you.

Regards and Best Wishes,
Miles

[scruffi]

Miles - that was a great post. Very helpful, that's what this board is all about. Maybe there's hope after all!

[robert327]

thanks eveeryone the info here is great. i havent quit as of yet i spoke to my doc about the problem and he is recommending i cut down then stop. anyway you folks have taken some of the fear away regarding withdrawls... but hope i am ready mentaly to stay off them . at times they seem so needed but i think i created the need .

you guys are great and i wish you all god speed bob.

bob

[clayzy]

I am also having many problems with withdrawl from taking Hydrocodone(my arms feel like they are burning,arms and legs are restless,shaking,vomiting,going to the bathroom alot,havent eaten or slept in almost 3 days)..It all started so simply.My husband was taking them for back injury,and since I suffer from migraines I thought I would try one( I knew I was able to take it since I had taken them when I had teeth pulled)..Well that first pill made my headaches disappear.It had been years since I have suffered from migraines without relief..I should be more clear..I didnt have migraines,I have had one long migraine for years,every day...Well I was in heave.I had more energy and just was in a better mood all the time..So I started sneaking pills..One or 2 a day,and esaclated to around 5-7 pills a day ..Eventually my husband noticed,but I told him I wasnt having a problem..Well before his first refill came in the mail through our prescription plan,I had my first problems with withdrawl.But I didnt know thats what it was..When the refill came,I started taking them again,well those pills ended on Friday,and I have been sick since then.My neighbor is a doc,and asked if he knew anything good for migraines,and he gave me a few pills,little did I know that they were Percocet.Just what I needed another painkiller!Well they eased it a little bit,but when they were done I was right back to where I started.Last night is when I finally came clean to my family about my dependence on the pills..It felt so good,yet scary..This has interfered with my life in so many ways.I never realized it would be like this.I have a daughter and they had a ceremony at school because she is entering middle school,but I couldnt attend because I was so sick,and we were supposed to go to the shore tomorrow,and now that cant happen..I was heartbroken that I couldnt be there for her..I know now that I can never let this drug get to me like this again..You always think of a drug addict as a dirty person,but just goes to show that anyone can be hooked,and I definitely am..I just cant wait to say,I used to be addicted.....Well we called my doc and he said it wasnt good to go cold turkey,so he prescribed more,and will slowly work it out of my system by only taking a little each day..He got a bottle of 360 Hydrocodone on April 26,and they are gone already,and my husband hardly took them.Im still feeling shaky right now,and I know there is still tough times coming,but if I didnt come clean I dont know what would have happened..Im sorry if this is rambling,but Im just saying things they way they are coming to me right now,and it feels good to get it out...One other thing I dont get about docs is how freely they prescibe it..Hydrocodone should only be for temporary pain,yet my husband has been prescribed it for months and still has 3 refills on bottles of 360 pills..But in my husbands defense,he hardly touches them,and can tolerate his pain,so he only takes it when its really severe..But now he has none since I finished them,and I feel horrible.Well thank you to anyone who took the time to listen to my LONG story(sorry!!),and I will pray for anyone who is going through it as well.. Just wish I could sleep(havent slept for 2 days!!!!!!!

[clayzy]

oops,just realized I said heave,I meant to say heaven..I get annyoyed when I make typos..Seems silly to worry about that with whats going on though doesnt it

[Xsnowx]

Everybody needs to go see their dr. about the drug suboxone. It is designed to get people off opiate-based drugs. It is a MIRACLE drug it is a combo of naltrexone and another drug. It bids to the opiate receptors and actually fills the recepters for up to 7 days with one dose...... No withdrawls!!! Maybe like for 12-24 hrs cause you have to wait until you are in severe withdrawls and it will save your life, it also mentally helps you not have cravings aswell as physical. I have used to get off twice now and it works!!! SUBOXONE is the secret- I feel so bad for all of you who have to face such a powerfully devestating thing as withdrawls-and to not know if there is any hope or help-hope you all follow my advice-unless you want to go to an IN-PATIENT detox center for a few days, suboxone is the only way you dont want to get hooked on ultram or methedone, ask about suboxone it will save you forever!!
--good luck God bless

[andrea Edwards]

quote:Originally posted by Doggy

I have a really good friend who is addicted to the pain killer Hydrocodone. Anyhow she wants to stop but everytime she does she gets really bad withdrawals such as sweating and shaking, can't sleep, etc. I was wondering if anyone out there has been through this on their own without going to a treatment center. If so please tell me what to do for her and how long it took for the withdrawals to go away!!!! HELP!!!!

I have detoxed myself at home quite a few times, tell your friend it does not work, she will be dope sick for about a week. she can come clean with her doctor and ask for clonodine or suboxen but odds are if the doctor gives it to she/he will proably abuse it. I have been taking over 30 percocets a day for years, I have been in 2 rehabs and I have 8 months clean. Please tell her that if she does not get treatment she/he will relapse becuase the mental part addiction is to powerful to control alone.

[lefteye77]

Hello everyone i have a story but not quite sure how im going to word it just yet lol well here it goes ill start out as most of you i am a addict to hydrocoden or codien whatever you want lol i have been on them for about a year now and alot of it has to do with my childhood i was put on ritalin as a kid for add well i was FORCED, to take it when i first got it i would say it only took me about a month to be like HEY THIS IS THE **** WHEN YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES lol it was all cool then i thought it would last forever i loved life i can't say it helped me at school at all if at anything other then watching a movie and getting realy into it or listening to a song and thinking DAMN THIS SONG IS THE **** untill i came off the high then it was a normal song didn't care about the movie and could care less about a video game UNLESS IT WAS TETRIS, TETRIS WAS THE **** no matter if your were high or not lol well life went on from when i was 8 untill i was 16 when one day my mom and dr. said its time for you to come off i was like LIKE HELL I AM but i was 16 and while i could quite school and everything still had to have my parents permision so you could say i was off and to tell you the truth i never had any withdraws i hated not having it there but i eventually went on it was later on in my life when i was going through a hard time when i wished i still had that WONDERFULL FEELING i seriously had never heard of a pain killer untill i had a tooth pulled and the dr. prescribed me hydrocodien 10 plus the BIG BOY KIND lol i didn't realy care for them untill i took one and 10 mins went by and then BOOOM AND I WAS LIEK HOLY **** ITS LIKE RITALIN THIS SONG ROCKS THIS GAME OWNS AND THIS MOVIE THAT I WANT TO WATCH SITTING ON MY DESK LOOKS LIKE IT WILL BE THE **** but only with the meds it started there i was 18 i am 22 now and since then i havn't been consistant with them i have been on and off and the withdraws werent there still i thought i couldnt get withdraws well here i am with withdraws and ppl THEY SUCK ASS DAMN what realy sucks about the whole thing is i have become a theif i steal my dad and moms own codien for her hand and my dads back and i feel like **** cus who am i to do this but it has over come me i swore i could stop like i did the past 2 times with no prob but i can't it has taken control of me my life and i hate it i don't have a kid BUT, i sorta do i watch my niece all the time i make sure she gets a bath get her dinner ready and make sure she takes her naps and stuff i mean she dosn't even call me her uncle im just brother lol DAMN SHES CUTE but yea whats bad about it is taht my family knows im a addict my mom asks me to stop but its so so hard and i feel bad cus she realy does hurt andm y dad realy does hurt and here i am just chillin using there meds for my amusment i have finaly tried stoping for good i have been well sumwhat sober still going through withdrawls so its not totaly out of me lol but i am praying i make it through i realy want to stop but i know my mom gets a new perscription tommorow and i only pray god will give me the strength to stay like this untill it is gone but its so hard when your already depressed and life is already beating you down other then the meds doing it too and on top of that having to watch my niece and stuff i could go on and on i would say more but i have to go but please if you pray keep me in your prayers as i will u so taht i might not trip,stumble back into my past even thow it is so recent ty and well on my watch mmmmmm goodnight or goodmorning,evening **** have a great year how bout that woot SCORE 10 PTS lol

SEAN

[starlightntim@aol.com]

Hello everyone this is the first time Ive responded on this site but I feel I need to tell my story because it may help alot of you who are going through hell right now. I have been addicted to pain killers for 7 years now and have quit many times cold turkey. I know what its like to not be able to find help or miss work to go through the withdrawels. It sucks. Recentley I decided to quit again but couldnt go through the withdrawels again so I saw a doctor and got on Suboxone. It really is a great drug. I went from 3 80m oxycontin to suboxone. It took only a day to make the transition. On friday morning I took 1 80m oxy and saw the doctor on Friday afternoon and got my script for suboxone. By Saturday afternoon I was feeling pretty bad so I started using the suboxone. You have to be in withdrawel in order to start suboxone. By Saturday night I felt fine no withdrawels what so ever. I went to work Monday which scared me cause I always needed my pain pills in order to work but I made it through the day just fine. Its been a little over a week and I feel fine. A little tired maybe but thats it. The cravings are still there but its so mild if I stay busy I hardley notice them. For all of you that want to quit I highly recommend that you see someone who can prescibe suboxone. One warning about it though. They only allow each doctor to have 30 patients at a time so alot of these doctors will rush you through the program and get you off of it to soon so they can have another opening. Dont rush to get off of them I plan on slowly tappering down over the next month or two. It doesnt cost much either. My first visit was $225 and each additional visit is $85 so shop around a little. This is much cheaper for me than staying on oxys. I was spending over $100 a day on oxys. This cost me about $100 per week. Not even. I wish you all the best of luck.

[robert327]

quote:Originally posted by starlightntim@aol.com

Hello everyone this is the first time Ive responded on this site but I feel I need to tell my story because it may help alot of you who are going through hell right now. I have been addicted to pain killers for 7 years now and have quit many times cold turkey. I know what its like to not be able to find help or miss work to go through the withdrawels. It sucks. Recentley I decided to quit again but couldnt go through the withdrawels again so I saw a doctor and got on Suboxone. It really is a great drug. I went from 3 80m oxycontin to suboxone. It took only a day to make the transition. On friday morning I took 1 80m oxy and saw the doctor on Friday afternoon and got my script for suboxone. By Saturday afternoon I was feeling pretty bad so I started using the suboxone. You have to be in withdrawel in order to start suboxone. By Saturday night I felt fine no withdrawels what so ever. I went to work Monday which scared me cause I always needed my pain pills in order to work but I made it through the day just fine. Its been a little over a week and I feel fine. A little tired maybe but thats it. The cravings are still there but its so mild if I stay busy I hardley notice them. For all of you that want to quit I highly recommend that you see someone who can prescibe suboxone. One warning about it though. They only allow each doctor to have 30 patients at a time so alot of these doctors will rush you through the program and get you off of it to soon so they can have another opening. Dont rush to get off of them I plan on slowly tappering down over the next month or two. It doesnt cost much either. My first visit was $225 and each additional visit is $85 so shop around a little. This is much cheaper for me than staying on oxys. I was spending over $100 a day on oxys. This cost me about $100 per week. Not even. I wish you all the best of luck.

bob

[robert327]

quote:Originally posted by starlightntim@aol.com

Hello everyone this is the first time Ive responded on this site but I feel I need to tell my story because it may help alot of you who are going through hell right now. I have been addicted to pain killers for 7 years now and have quit many times cold turkey. I know what its like to not be able to find help or miss work to go through the withdrawels. It sucks. Recentley I decided to quit again but couldnt go through the withdrawels again so I saw a doctor and got on Suboxone. It really is a great drug. I went from 3 80m oxycontin to suboxone. It took only a day to make the transition. On friday morning I took 1 80m oxy and saw the doctor on Friday afternoon and got my script for suboxone. By Saturday afternoon I was feeling pretty bad so I started using the suboxone. You have to be in withdrawel in order to start suboxone. By Saturday night I felt fine no withdrawels what so ever. I went to work Monday which scared me cause I always needed my pain pills in order to work but I made it through the day just fine. Its been a little over a week and I feel fine. A little tired maybe but thats it. The cravings are still there but its so mild if I stay busy I hardley notice them. For all of you that want to quit I highly recommend that you see someone who can prescibe suboxone. One warning about it though. They only allow each doctor to have 30 patients at a time so alot of these doctors will rush you through the program and get you off of it to soon so they can have another opening. Dont rush to get off of them I plan on slowly tappering down over the next month or two. It doesnt cost much either. My first visit was $225 and each additional visit is $85 so shop around a little. This is much cheaper for me than staying on oxys. I was spending over $100 a day on oxys. This cost me about $100 per week. Not even. I wish you all the best of luck.

glad you doing well could you tell me what suboxone does to you? thanks bob

bob

[ambien_lady]

Unfortunately I am addicted to lortab and ambien. I live in a very abusive relationship (I also have disabeled children and I feel like there is no out for me) I have to admit, I like the lortab and the ambien. It's like I can actually enjoy myself for a little while after everyone goes to sleep. I am scared to death that I am addicted---I have taken them every night for a year and a half. I found this site by accident and it just has captivated me.
any suggestions.

[clayzy]

to ambien_lady:

You asked for suggestions..Well I am going through withdrawl still,but after talking to my family and my doctor Im getting through it..I think that is the first step,telling someone you trust,and definitely should talk to a doctor..They are weening me off slowly(sorry if spelling is wrong),and I am praying that when the pills are finished that it wont be so bad..I can already see a difference..I went from up to 7 pills a day/maybe more..To no more than 3 a day..I used to take one,and then another an hour later..Now I have gone 12 hours before I took one..I wont lie,the craving is still very much there,but then I think back to what I went through when the withdrawl first started,and know I cant do that again...So again,my suggestion is to talk to a doctor and family and/or good friends.I think having support is a big part.

[lonjack1]

quote:Originally posted by ktluvssyd

Hello all! This is my first post and hopefully not my last. THUNDER, please know that I will be praying for you daily as I hope you and all other christians that read this will do for me. I am a 36 single father from SC who has lost almost everything but my life and my daughter due to pain killers. Wednesday, November 3, 2004 began my road to this site and to the place I am today. My bout with pain killers began long before last wednesday. In 1997, I had bilateral carpal tunnell surgery and was first introduced to Lortab. Then in 1999 I had surgery on my left knee. Again Lortab. Then in 2002 I had surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder which caused me a lot of pain for 2 or 3 months after the surgery and my doctor kept giving me lortab. After he released me from his care, I began to want codeine more and more and found a place outside the US to buy it from. That became more difficult to get and I found tramadol or ultram was much easier to get although I had to take 3 times as much tramadol to get the same effect. I went from taking a few pills per day to as many as 40 or 50 on some days. I had taken approx 40 last wednesday. I was playing hangman with my 9 year old daughter when I all of a sudden awoke with my mother standing over me trying to get me to wake up. I had had my 5th seizure in a little over a year. It has taken 5 seizures and my mother finding all of my pill bottles at my house to get me to this point. I am in my 6th day without any pills. My first seizure happened last august when I took my daughter to register for the 2nd grade. We went through registration and as I was leaving, my ex wife was taking my daughter because I had to work. I remember opening my ex's passenger door and kissing my daughter and that is all I remember. I climbed in my truck, started it, put it in drive and drove straight ahead hitting a tree and narrowly missing a house across the street. I awoke in the ER with my daughter sitting on the bed beside me scared to death that her daddy was going to die. If anything can explain the power of pain killers, I think this will. I love my daughter more than life itself and I still could not quit after that episode. In case you are wondering, her name is Sydney, which will explain my username. Recently, I had another seizure in my kitchen and she found me. We were by ourselves. Imagine her fear only being 9. I had fell and hit my face on my counter tops and was bleeding from my mouth. That brings me to last wednesday and then on to today. I am still struggling with withdrawls but trust me they are improving everyday. Having my mother aware of my problem is helping me alot. I have no doubt that my seizures were being caused by the tramadol. And just from thinking about the past year and a few months, God has shown me that he had his hand on me and my daughter the entire time. I think about my first seizure. I could have very easily ran over someone. I could have wrecked having a seizure at anytime with my daughter in the truck. Being a single dad, there could have been a fire at home when I was cooking or ironing or any household accident. I am extremely ashamed of myself for putting my daughter and family through all of this and that is something I am dealing with. I have decided to ask for God's help to pull me through that. I do no deserve his help nor do I deserve another chance at life or being a dad, but as any christian will tell you, we do not deserve anything that God gives us. I have found that listening to contemporary christian and praise music helps alot. I get emotional listening to some songs because it makes me realize just how fortunate I am to be alive right now. I have been taking immodium because one of my withdrawl symptoms is very painful stomach and diarea. But today is tuesday Nov. 9 and I have not needed an immodium despite eating the nastiest hot dog I have ever had earlier today. I have to go now to pick up my wonderful gift of a daughter. I am excited and I am struggling but I am taking it one step at a time and with God's help and support from friends on this site and my family, I AM GOING TO MAKE IT!!!!!!!! Good luck to all! I will pray for you and please let me know if I can help any of you. KT!

Hello, I just found out myself that i was addicted to pain killers. Only having been on them for 5 - 6 months of tylenol 4 with codine. I read you entire post and it brought tears to my eyes. You daughter loves you and you love her. If you kicked the habbit you have nothing to be assamed of. I have 2 young kids myself and love them more then life itself. Every time you see your self getting weak, think of your little girl. Trust me, nothing hits home more when you can see the twinkle in her that she has for you. Sorry if this ran on, but do not be down on your self.

[sfc420]

i wish the best to all of you who suffer from the same disease that i do: ive been hooked on pain killers a lot lately, i just moved to southern california to go to school, and i know that its not a good time for me to be getting back into this stuff. life is just so stressful, i dont have many friends, and my brother is an alcoholic. the only people i have been around are on oxycontin so ive been getting it a lot. if i cant get that, norcos are the next thing on the list, and i eat 3 or 4 of them at a time. I will pay full price for them cuz i want them that bad. I have a heavily prescribing doctor who gave me vicodin and somas for back pain, and even though the somas gave me an allergic reaction (in the form of a nasty rash) i ate the rest of them because i wanted to get high. I know that i have a problem and i want to fix it. My questions are, now that im an 18 year old, can i tell my psych that im addicted without my parents finding out, and pay for treatment with my insurance without them knowing?

also, has anyone used clonidine as a medication for opiod addiction? if so, did you have any success and what worked for you? my psych has given it to me for insomnia and ive seen that its been used for that purpose.

[mpvt]

See if you can get into a doctor who can prescribe buprenorphene (subutex) it is like methadone but you take it sublingually.It's easier to wean off of buprenorphene then methadone.The odds are against you going cold turkey.Let us know how you make out.....Dave

Finally my pain is under control!!!!!!!

[stevochivo]

Hello all, first post here and maybe the first step toward moving forward. I have chronic migraines which have gradually gotten worse going on ten years now....tried all the preventative meds, docs, neurologist, ect. Nothing has worked. I am now hooked on vicodin and feeling completley helpless and unable to stop this. For nine years, I lived in fear of ever facing a migraine w/o vic's, (amerge,imatrex does not work for me)now, it's just plain fear of not having them. I've been hooked for about six or seven months and came damn close to getting off them, but each time, a killer migraine would ruin it. At this point, it's basically a secret, my own personal hell. I'm not ashamed of it, but I feel determined to beat this w/o my family finding out. That doesn't seen possible though. As I've seen from other posts, the tapering off method does not work and I've come to realize that is totally true. I have all the things needed to fight the withdrawl...zolof, muscle relaxants, vitamins, nausia pills, yet I cannot do it no matter how strong my resolve is. It's frustating because I have never even taken that many pain pills nor experimented with hard drugs. I'm only 28, but feel like I'm much older. I'd say my addiction is at about 4 to 5 ex strength vics to avoid withdrawl a day, sometimes more and rarley less. And of course, as you all know, with this dose, there is really no high even involved. It's really humbling to witness all the things and reasons you've ever heard to not do drugs. Yup, they are all true. There is never a fair trade-off. It takes you and clouds all your judgement and perceptions. No one has any right to judge someone who has become addicted to pain meds who needs them for daily pain. I know there were times when I felt like I was losing my mind with the headaches and I would almost rather be dead than face that pain every day. I guess what I'm trying to find out from all of you is...Can a person beat this on their own? Can any of you relate to my situation? I feel kind of guilty for my complaining because I know as dark as this seems to me, many people have faced far worse nightmares with these things. Much thanks to all of you for any help or advice. I hope one day, I can be the one to help someone is this situation. These forums are great in that sometimes, you just need to know that your not the only person in the world with this problem. Thanks

[mpvt]

Hey listen your problem is no less a nightmare than anyone elses.I know how you feel and you have every right to feel the way you do.Stopping on your own as you know is very difficult.Remember your going to need something when you do get a migraine.What about trying buprenorphene.The medical community is having great success with this drug.It covers your withdrawls and cravings while you wean down off of it.You need to educate yourself and then decide what action your going to take.Good luck and let us know how your doing.....Dave

Finally my pain is under control!!!!!!!

[RoC1909]

quote:Originally posted by sfc420

also, has anyone used clonidine as a medication for opiod addiction? if so, did you have any success and what worked for you? my psych has given it to me for insomnia and ive seen that its been used for that purpose.

Hi sfc,

You mentioned clonodine and I have taken it for opiod addiction. As you may or may not know, clonodine is primarily used for treatment of high blood presure but one of it's "secondary" uses is to control opiod withdrawl. To be honest, I only took it for about a week until I went to a pain management doctor who put me on Avinza but I can honestly say that it seemed to help. I was also on a few other meds (lonox for "the runs", Ativan for the anxiety but I didn't take it and Hydroxyzine (sp?) a powerful antihistimine to help me sleep).

As mentioned, it seemed to work for me but as with everyone, your mileage may vary. Also, others have mentioned subutex and have had great results with it so that may also be a option.

Regards,

J

----------------------------------
A "Thank You" goes a long way.....

[Simara12]

God I can't do this. I quit for two weeks in April, it was hell for me- I can't believe I went through that for NOTHING since now since then I have slowly made my way up to taking more then ever (percocets). I am right back where I was, but even worse. I can't even tell my husband because he went through that past ******************** with me in April and supported me and thinks I have still quit. But dumb**** me kept thinking I could take them 'occasionally' and be okay, then occasionally kept getting more and more and more. The worst part for me (and don't get me wrong the physical was tormenting) was I was SO depressed and completely obsessed with the pills. Does that really get better? I was so black and just despondent, even after a couple of weeks. I would sit on my kitchen floor and just sob and sob, my husband would look at me like I was nuts and my children should not see that. I cried in his arms and told him I would rather be dead, which I do not mean but I felt it at the time. I wish I had never taken that first pill six years ago, I wish I did not know. I am a complete mess and now I am scared to death of going through those withdrawals all over again so I will once again spend all our money and go to whatever lengths to get the pills, but I know there is a end- somehow- it has to end. I am scared to go to bed some nights because I am scared I will not wake up. How stupid is that? Even right now I am fighting with myself not to take another pill, it is all I think about. I carry one around in my hand just to feel it- or in my back pocket so I can feel the lump of it to comfort me. I want to stop so badly but then at the same time I want more pills more then I want anything else in my life. I look at pictures of myself before I was addicted and I wonder how I could smile then without pills in me- and I am so jealous of the 'old me' for not having to have them then. I wake up in the morning and either feel terrible even before opening my eyes or feel wonderful, depending on if I know I have pills or not & how many. I know I sound utterly pathetic but nothing has ever had control over me before like this, I never understood how someone could lose everything to a drug or alcohol before and now I finally understand. And my body is so PISSED off at me, I hurt all the time and am ruining myself.
Thanks for listening! SORRY... sorry to my family.

[roimullet]

Simara12, im assuming that you take percs for non-medical reasons, but if i'm wrong please don't be offended. i hate to say this, but you probably cannot quit on your own. which puts you in quite the pickle b/c you said your husband thinks you quit. i know youre scared of w/d, but its the mental w/d's that are the ace kickers. do you have the kind of relationship w/ your husband that you can be honest about this? if he finds out on his own he'll be a lot angrier than if you come out and admit it. im sure he loves you (after all, he stuck by you and supported you the last time) enough to understand. i truly feel that if you want to quit, you need to go to an inpatient rehab. my best friend did that and it helped her sooo much...they dealt with the MENTAL aspect of this, not just physical. and it was totally not like we had imagined, most people hear "rehab" and a bunch of not so great images come to mind. but it was really the only way she could deal w/ the addiction and depression so she wouldnt relapse. best of luck to you and keep your chin up! let us know how things go

[Simara12]

Thank you.
I actually am to the point where I believe I can't quit w/o some kind of 'outside the family' help- inpatient or something. Of course there are problems with that and I would HATE for everyone to know, as it is now nobody knows except a small amount of people, not my boss, my family, my inlaws or ex inlaws, friends.. nobody. I think they would be supportive but I am afraid. BUT.. I agree I do not think I can do this any longer on my own, it's been too many times I really really tried and thought maybe I had made it just to go back.
The thing with my husband is that he has heard it SO many times, he has heard that I have quit, I have lied and manipulated and snuck so often that I think me coming clean and him hearing the same story ONE MORE TIME he just could not believe me any more- I have said "I mean it this time" once to often for him to know if it is real. Plus initially he was very supportive, took care of the kids while I went through w/d's and held me while I sobbed and hurt and talked me through the worst of it all, but he expected a few days later for me to just be great, done with it- it's over, let's move on. He has never been in this situation of addiction and for someone that does not get it they think "Just quit and move on with life". He could not understand that I was utterly devestated and alone and depressed without the pills I had relied on. Secretly I even think he likes me better when I am on them and he can be in denial- if he wasn't afraid that I was going to die (or the money I am going through). After initally thinking I quit he never bugs me about them or asks me if I still think of them or of taking them, or if I am taking them again.
Meanwhile I felt tortured.
Any inpatient suggestions? And without insurance? I have thought about going to my dr. on Monday and fessing up and seeing about that Suboxine (sp) that I read about, and maybe getting onto a anti depressant.
Thank You.



Simara12, im assuming that you take percs for non-medical reasons, but if i'm wrong please don't be offended. i hate to say this, but you probably cannot quit on your own. which puts you in quite the pickle b/c you said your husband thinks you quit. i know youre scared of w/d, but its the mental w/d's that are the ace kickers. do you have the kind of relationship w/ your husband that you can be honest about this? if he finds out on his own he'll be a lot angrier than if you come out and admit it. im sure he loves you (after all, he stuck by you and supported you the last time) enough to understand. i truly feel that if you want to quit, you need to go to an inpatient rehab. my best friend did that and it helped her sooo much...they dealt with the MENTAL aspect of this, not just physical. and it was totally not like we had imagined, most people hear "rehab" and a bunch of not so great images come to mind. but it was really the only way she could deal w/ the addiction and depression so she wouldnt relapse. best of luck to you and keep your chin up! let us know how things go
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[roimullet]

Simara12, i totally understand about your husband...the way non-addicted people treat you, they dont understand the constant struggle that sometimes is minute to minute, even after having been off pills for long stretches of time. i think that people who have not been through this really have no idea what a fight with yourself this is, and just b/c you quit, it is not always such a clean break. you may want to talk to your doc about sub. first, and talk to him/her about inpatient treatment options. then after youve done your research, that would probably be the best time to tell your man. let him know that youve looked into certain avenues to do this for good...he may believe you this time, b/c especially if you dont have insurance, why the heck else would you do that? and you cannot get high off the sub. i believe from what ive read on here, that it blocks any opiates from giving you that euphoric feeling. this may convince him. i understand though, my ex b/f and i went through this too. i am back on my meds and have been for some time, b/c otherwise im bedridden. i do take my meds for chronic pain, but id be lying if i said i wasnt hoplessly dependant on them, they give me comfort jusst being in my purse! i wanted to let you know im in your corner and so are others here!!!!

[Simara12]

Well I ended up fessing up last night, especially since I am down to two pills and was scared that he would see me go through withdrawals again. He knew, and I knew he already knew anyways, but it is always hard getting it out in the open. It amazes me how much he can hate these pills, and how much I love them. It's like a person that has come between our marriage.
I told him I did not think I could quit without some kind of outside help. He cried and said he was so worried but he didnt' know what to do but that he would be there for me for whatever I needed. It's funny how I thought I was being so sneaky and then he mentioned my weekly shopping trips into town (we live FAR out in the country) and that I probably snuck a side trip in there to see (my source for pills) and he was exactly right. And I had thought he did not have a clue. Why didn't he confront me on it??? I tried to explain what these pills mean to me and the depression I felt without them.
Now we will have to see where all this leads. Today I was really sick, they are wearing me down, I feel sick and unhealthy all the time- and not just when I feel the withdrawals. I am drinking too much on top of the pills to give my high an extra boost.
Thanks for the understanding and support and advice. I am sorry about your back problems- I do not have any medical reasons to be taking these and get all my pills (at $5.00 a pop) from someone that gets them prescribed to him and does not take them himself. Basically I support him which in itself makes me ill, that I take that money from my family. But when my body and mind start the w/d's I will search this guy down and go to any lengths to get them, no matter how strong my resolve was to get off of them.
Today I only had one pill, and tonight I will have one more. That will leave me with one pill left- I am scared to death already.
I know what you mean about having them in your purse comforts you, the other day I thought my purse was stolen at the store and my first thought was "MY PILLS- take everything else in there but not my pills".. I stuff cotten in the top of the bottle so if my husband moves my purse around it will not make that pill jangle noise.
Thanks again.

[Mom O Rama]

THERE IS A SOLUTION...

Hello fellow addicts,

I've been addicted to various meds since 1999, when powerful headaches led me to a doctor for treatment. Out whipped the prescription pad, and my nightmare with hydrocodone (Vicodin) began. It's a very long story, and I'd be happy to post it in its entirety at another time. Suffice it to say that at the end, I OD'd on an Rx that is so potent, it should never leave the hospital. I nearly died.

Fortunately my husband stepped in and took drastic action. He rallied my family and they went to visit with an intervention specialist at the nearby inpatient rehabilitation hospital. Yes, it was 28 days. It saved my life. It was terribly humiliating, I suffered through opiate and synthetic opiate withdrawals, hypnotic withdrawals and tranq withdrawals. My personality was shattered. I held a highly responsible and visible position in a law enforcement agency. It was terribly embarrassing to have this fall from grace in my local community. I was in tremendous physical pain throughout the rehab process. I've had multiple surgeries and have chronic migraines and degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue. Me, me, me.

I went to my first AA, NA & PA (Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Pills Anonymous) meetings while in rehab. I met my first sponsor, who was also a pill addict.

God willing, this November 1, I will have 365 x 3 days of continuous sobriety, free from the torturous prison of pills and alcohol.

Life without pain medications is difficult. Working on my recovery program, attending meetings, reaching out to others, meeting with and listening to my sponsor, and living moment by moment are frustrating, time-consuming and inconvenient.

But to return to the endless parade of doctors, lies, charades, manipulations, nodding off over days at a time when my family was desperate and worried, and finally being so sick that it was thought I had leukemia, are much, much, much, much worse. Nothing can ever be that bad. The constant chase for drugs was also frustrating, time-consuming and inconvenient - and I was dying.

Today I have my life back. I have a God that I claim as my own. I respect myself and don't choose to listen to the voices in my head that drone on about what an idiot I am, that I'm worthless, strange, incompetent, dull, uncoordinated and generally a burden on society.

I go to meetings frequently to hear and remember what my life could be like if I went back to being an addict. I also hear by comparison how much better my life will remain if I choose not to use.

NOTHING is worth the terminal cost of those jagged little pills.

I encourage everyone on this list who feels they are in trouble with meds, drugs or alcohol to open the phone book and look under "Narcotics Anonymous" and "Alcoholics Anonymous". Pick up the phone and reach out. The person you speak to was just like you.

I'm a living example of how lives can be mended and turned right side up. My life has never been better.

www.aa.org
www.na.org
www.groups.msn.com/pillsanonymous

In peace and love,
Mom O Rama

Feel free to post with any questions at all about my battle, my recovery, and my life today[:X]