[AmyBreeze]

quote:Originally posted by sparky


Amy...I think us pill/popping women/mothers have similar stories...probably started out very inocently and then the evilness of the addiction just took over

Doc told me Sparky most of his patients are women and 60-70% have all had a gastric by pass like me. Instead of food, they found the pills to fill that void. And craving are wore with someone he called HALT. Hungry, alone, lonely or tired.....watch for those.

Gotta go...boss coming...

Amy

[sparky]

Amy...you sound good...and yes ...we will have rougher days than others....all of us.....sounds also like you and your doc have a plan on your sub use...thats good....gosh I remember being down to having 2 mg of sub left....and just dreading the idea of not having more...I wasn't allowed...didn't need it anymore, really, but my mind said oh my gosh what are you gonna do now....but....now as with everything hindsight is always way more clear....I am grateful that my sub use was shorter than longer....its all individual for sure...but in my case....my mind said and still does sometimes say that little pill would sure make me feel better.....temporarily for sure...long run...pure hell

[cranky]

Hi everyone - I'd like to get some more advice on tapering. I going to try it, and I have a strategy - hoping I can stick to it. I was up to 100-150 mg per day for the last couple of weeks. Today, being a Monday, is my first day to taper. Here's my plan: 60 mg per day for the first week (I know this is pretty easy because I've tried it - kind of a maintenance dose) taking 1 15 mr pill 4 times per day, then 45 mg per day (3 X 15) for the second week. 30 mg per day the third week (3 X 10). - Not sure how to proceed from there - a little bit several times a day (3 X 5?), or 1-2 medium doses (one 15 or 2 - 10's) - any advice? Thanks, and congratulations to everyone on their great progress!! I know you're probably thinking, yeah right, cranky's got no will power - but I'm hoping I can hang with it - I need to do this to save my life.

[sparky]

Cranky....I'm not real sure on how to advise you of taper amount....I only had pills that were 8mg each....at the most I took 3 of those per day....so at the most I only had 24mg per day....to me you are taking alot of sub...unless I am confusing the mg amount???not sure......but just always think of taper....a little everyday or every other day....take smaller amounts 3 times a day.....then take only 2 times a day ....then only once a day......how long have you been on sub???..

[AmyBreeze]

quote:Originally posted by sparky

Amy...you sound good...and yes ...we will have rougher days than others....all of us.....sounds also like you and your doc have a plan on your sub use...thats good....gosh I remember being down to having 2 mg of sub left....and just dreading the idea of not having more...I wasn't allowed...didn't need it anymore, really, but my mind said oh my gosh what are you gonna do now....but....now as with everything hindsight is always way more clear....I am grateful that my sub use was shorter than longer....its all individual for sure...but in my case....my mind said and still does sometimes say that little pill would sure make me feel better.....temporarily for sure...long run...pure hell

Sparky, just talked to my doctor and he wants me to stay on the 2mgs 4 x's a day but to make sure to take one when I go to bed or even two since the mornings are rough for me. He said the sub will stay in your system like 36 hours so the reason I feel so yucky now is all that I took this morning is now starting to get to me. He says by not taking one/two at bedtime I'm behind the 8 ball in the morning. Made a lot of sense. Sorry this is short and rambled. I am at work and hard to type. I'll write again when I get home. I can say I am so glad I found the doctor I did. He makes a lot of sense and really cares.

Take care all....

Thanks Sparky!

[tinkers]

cranky,

Glad to see you back I think the important think is that you dont give up the fight some times it will get the best of you just keep fighting, your taper looks good but I could never follow a taper no will power so if you can do it great that is my opinion there are alot in here I equaly as good so use what you want good luck you will get through this.

Amy,

Glad to see your doing well

Morticia, abey

Glad to see you guys are back

[morticia]

hi Tinkers, its good to be back, im clean of pain pills for 3 weeks! tonight im going to my first NA meeting, i never been to a real meeting before only at detox so i have a little bit of an idea what to expect.

Though i am a little nervous cuz this is the real thing. i dont know if i should just listen or talk i really have no clue what i am doing.

someone was really nice to me and offered to take me to the meetimg even though she doesnt even know me we just spoke on the phone.
so how are you doing Tinkers?

i went to pain managemant and the doc put me on methadone for the pain and it really works, and i even managed to quit smoking! and it helps with the cravings..both nicotine and the pain pills, he said to give it a try cuz they dont give out "opiates" at the clinic though i know that meth is an opiate, but it was either meth or back surgey and i dont want to have surgery otherwise I'll have to be back on the pain meds again.

Life is so diffrent w/o pills i feel less depressed and my other meds are working so much better, I'm glad i decided to go to detox on my own i just couldnt take it anymore.

well i have to get ready for my meeting but i'll let y'all know how it went.

Clean Date: 10/16/06



luv n hugs Clarkie

[LISA GIRL]

Sparky...I don't think Cranky is on the sub.. WOW that would be a lot though.. Holy cow!

Cranky Glad you are still here...What IS it you take again? Lortab? .The fact you are still around shows you really do have the motivation to quit. . Don't ask me about tapering though.. Don't think i could have done it. Are you going to use the Kratom to help?

Amy.. When I was about one week in, I thought I needed to up my sub dose too, but in reality, like Sparky said, that can just be your addictive nature lying to you. I am still bad on the scheduling. . Some days I take 6 mg.. some 8 mg but usually no more than that. Today the sub made me very dizzy and sick. Then again I was wondering if since I made the mistake of talking while having one pill, it didn't absorb correctly (the site says that can happen) and I wondered if I actually had too LITTLE sub and was going into w/drawal.. This stuff is so difficult to figure out sometimes.. I really wish I felt strong enough to get off of it altogether. I am beginning to hate the taste. Glad you are doing well. Did you see my question on the gastric bp? Do you ever get hot flashes and or sweat from the sub? I do like twice a day.. it's sooo weird and annoying!

[4love530]

quote:Originally posted by sparky

Hi All........Lordhelmet.....how long and why are you taking so much morphine.....are you abusing it and are you in serious pain....since you are already wondering if you are addicted, chances are you are....I would seek professional help...suboxone works well..it will take you off your morphine habit....and then you wean off suboxone....you can find lots of into about suboxone...and the doctors who offer that help in your area....

Tammy....great going getting your vike addiction under control...that is a huge step in itself....having your appt on the calendar will make it happen....for me I quit taking my last vike about 8:00p.m. and the next morning I went to the rehab center and just waited until they said I was ready...I think it was after noon the next day....if you can get comfort drugs, they help just ease the creepy crawly waiting feeling...drugs like soma or xanax...best to you


Amy...I think us pill/popping women/mothers have similar stories...probably started out very inocently and then the evilness of the addiction just took over....I tormented for so long about how when to get off the vikes....and soooooo happpy to say I have successfully done it....today total days off vikes is 54 ....and I think more importantly my total days of suboxone is 31...so I am a solid 30 days without OPIATES....and I have to say at about my 3rd week off sub I had a breakthrough....I just felt different/better...like ...wow....I feel normal.......there are days I feel a little dragged down....but doesn't everyone feel that way once in a while (normies)....and there is a tiny tiny voice in there that when I am feeling tired or want to go an extra mile says hey a little pill would help.....and I just try to empty that thought ASAP...because I know its a lie...beside there would be to many steps to get to the pills because I've set it up that way....I'd have to continue to question my intelligence if I tried to get more pills...anyway rambling....best to everyone.....

Sparky.... I need to talk to you. I'm new here and I have been searching the posts. I'm trying to get as much info as I can on vic addiction and sub. My bf is trying to kick his addiction. He takes b/t 7 - 10 per day at 750mg. This has been for 5 years. I've done all the leg work for him and he now wants to try sub. How is it.
I know there is info but its hard to search for.
Please, can you tell me what I should expect...from start to finish.
How can I help make this easier for him... what more can I do?

Thank you so much!!!!!!!

[cranky]

Hey lisa - You're right, I'm not taking sub, I'm taking Norco as well as a compounded med that is 15/200, same as Norco, a bit stronger but easier on the liver. I appreciate your words of support - i have failed several times in the past, but I'm getting back on the horse again. My will power isn't great, but I WILL eventually do this. Today is my first day of taper - i "only" took 70 mg today - HUGE step for me, even though it's only one day. Even if I can cut down drastically in a few weeks, I think it'll really help I couldn't be doing it without the support of the truly awesome people on this board. People think of us addicts as complete losers, but you are some of the gutsiest people I've ever run across - I have a huge amount of respect for each and every one of you. Battling this demon is not easy, and we're not always successful, but we try and try again.

[patmamma]

Hey everyone,
I took my last percocet today, I am going to continue to tough out the pain of breaking my leg last Sunday rather than run to the comfort of percocets. I gave my last couple of pills to my sister in law, and she lives about 1/2 hour away from me, so it is a pain to get them. Everyone thinks i am crazy for doing that, but you all understand I am sure. Anyway, I took 1/2 in the morning, got totally sick from it, and turned into a looney nut raving nice lady. I cannot stand these pills....that is the good news.

The hard part of this story is not just the pain, or knowing i will be taking the pills again on Thursday, but that I read about the three week break through some of you are having, and I am SOOO happy for you, dont get me wrong but it makes me sad, and I want to cry. I am so bummed. I was there! I had just reached three weeks! I have to start all over because I insist on being a dumb ass on my bike. I love my bike, but I want to be free from these pills for good.

The other weird scary part, and it takes alot to admit this, but i am looking forward to my terrible surgery so I can take the pills again. I know it is that old habit voice though, because I dont even like them anymore. I get none of the old love. Do I just want another challenge in my life, or do I just want an excuse for the pills? This side of me has kind of frightened me, and I would like to hear I am not the only one who has ever been wired this way. I want to be where you three weekers are again. Trust me, I am not a sadist, I dont long for pain! I think this has more to do with the long use of pills and the memory of being comforted all day with meds.

Sadly yours
Christie

[nymommy]

cranky..good luck, like lisa said..if your still trying, your gonna make it...not to preach.have you considered the sub...takes the cravings away, just like that!!..it is the easire way out, no doubt..i'm going on 6 weeks..like you said... this forum has helped/educated me more than anything...we are all in this together..good luck...........

[LISA GIRL]

Patmamma.I was just thinking about you earlier! Glad you posted. So sorry if I am missing something but I want to make sure I understand. You gave up the last of your pills because you hate them so much, but you are having surgery on Thursday and will have to take them again then? If that was the case couldn't you have just taken them for your current pain until then? But then you are kind of looking forward to being able to take them on Thursday? I guess I am having a hard time understanding. I have gone thru swings on how I feel about the pills..but it sounds like you have a true love/hate relationship with both feelings at the exact same time? Do you feel guilty taking them now but think it will be ok or you can justify it on Thursday? I commend you for giving them up but worry about you and your pain! Especially if you will need them again soon, seems like you could have just waited. Maybe you just needed to prove you could go without them for a few days? I'm sorry I am having a hard time getting where you are coming from as I have never really used the pills for pain. Hard for me to understand what those who really need it go thru. Just know you can be there again.. and you WILL be there again. This is just a temporary setback. the price you pay for being such an adventurer love I guess! We are all here for you..know that.

[gqblu]

Just thought I would pop in...I will be 5 weeks clean tomorrow and things are looking up.

Cranky...great to see you are still here. Best of luck on quitting after your reinstatement.

Lisa Girl...good to see you are doing well also.

Patmamma...hope you get through these surgeries quickly. I also am a little flabbergasted that you are planning on quitting for a couple days before re-instating...that seems like it would be harder on the body and psyche, it's like quitting thrice! Oh well best of luck, it is hard we all know and just come in here to complain, we as a group know what you are going through.

[patmamma]

Lisa Girl,
I am sorry to sound so totally confusing. I was writing thoughts down that I felt I needed to get out, and in retrospect, what sounds like something that makes sense to me, may not take into consideration the way they read.

I am in total conflict. I agree that there does not seem like any point in not taking those final pills before my dental surgery as I will be right back on them. I have conditioned myself to feel a lot of guilt for taking these due to all of the time I spent lying about my pain. It has come to the point where I dont even trust that I have strong enough pain to merit the pills. I know that doesnt make sense. But it is my style to feel guilt over what I have felt has been abusive and wrong.

As far as the looking forward to the surgery? Maybe it is because I will know for a fact that I will have a legitimate reason to take some downtime, and lose track of responsibility. Maybe it is just that simple.

I am also sad not to still be making progress.

I appreciate knowing you all are really here. I also want to say that sometimes when confronted with not so old demons, it is like you are abusing again. Even if you have people assuring you that it is safe, okay, for a good reason, it still feels like it is you and the old abuse issues all over again.

Thanks for trying to follow my ramblings,
patmamma

[sparky]

4Love....hi I will respond to your question in the am.....hang in there...there is hope....sparky

[morticia]

hi everyone,
i just got back from my first NA meeting and wow it was definalty powerful, lots of hugs, something i didnt expect, i met a whole bunch of ppl there , but it was nice to know that i wasnt alone, there were others there that had an addction to pain killers. so i introduded myself and said that i was an addict (which i am) and the whole room said hi Clarkie i felt a little outta place cuz i didnt know what to expect but everyone was so nice , i really enjoyed it . there were 2 ppl celebrating 3 years and 19 years. i hope someday i'll have a celebration too. i mam going to go to 90 meetings in 90 days thats what i was told to do. and also to get a sponsor but how do you get a sponser? do you have to ask for one or do they just ask you?

i definalty want to keep going. has anyone had experience with NA? does it really work? let me know thank you.
Happy Halloween everyone!

luv n hugs Clarkie

[AmyBreeze]

quote:Originally posted by morticia

hi everyone,
i just got back from my first NA meeting and wow it was definalty powerful, lots of hugs, something i didnt expect, i met a whole bunch of ppl there , but it was nice to know that i wasnt alone, there were others there that had an addction to pain killers. so i introduded myself and said that i was an addict (which i am) and the whole room said hi Clarkie i felt a little outta place cuz i didnt know what to expect but everyone was so nice , i really enjoyed it . there were 2 ppl celebrating 3 years and 19 years. i hope someday i'll have a celebration too. i mam going to go to 90 meetings in 90 days thats what i was told to do. and also to get a sponsor but how do you get a sponser? do you have to ask for one or do they just ask you?

i definalty want to keep going. has anyone had experience with NA? does it really work? let me know thank you.
Happy Halloween everyone!

luv n hugs Clarkie

Yes, that first meeting is POWERFUL went to my first one last week and got the same reception you did and felt the same you did. It's awesome. I got a lot of names and after awhile I think you just ask the person you fit with more to be your sponsor? I am not sure. I am going tonight and will ask. I don't have one yet either, but you'll find the same people at a lot of different meetings. I'm going to one tonight and can't wait. They REALLY REALLY help!

Amy

[AmyBreeze]

quote:Originally posted by cranky

Hey lisa - You're right, I'm not taking sub, I'm taking Norco as well as a compounded med that is 15/200, same as Norco, a bit stronger but easier on the liver. I appreciate your words of support - i have failed several times in the past, but I'm getting back on the horse again. My will power isn't great, but I WILL eventually do this. Today is my first day of taper - i "only" took 70 mg today - HUGE step for me, even though it's only one day. Even if I can cut down drastically in a few weeks, I think it'll really help I couldn't be doing it without the support of the truly awesome people on this board. People think of us addicts as complete losers, but you are some of the gutsiest people I've ever run across - I have a huge amount of respect for each and every one of you. Battling this demon is not easy, and we're not always successful, but we try and try again.

sparky, only have a minute, but you CAN do this! You talk about "us" being awesome supporters, but you are one of the best! You can do it......sparky, if I am correct you are not on the sub.....please think it over.....it is working well for me so far. A week today. Well this evening at 5:00 anyway!

Have a GREAT day!

Amy

[AmyBreeze]

quote:Originally posted by 4love530

Sparky.... I need to talk to you. I'm new here and I have been searching the posts. I'm trying to get as much info as I can on vic addiction and sub. My bf is trying to kick his addiction. He takes b/t 7 - 10 per day at 750mg. This has been for 5 years. I've done all the leg work for him and he now wants to try sub. How is it.
I know there is info but its hard to search for.
Please, can you tell me what I should expect...from start to finish.
How can I help make this easier for him... what more can I do?

Thank you so much!!!!!!!

Go to GOOGLE put in suboxone and search. Lots of info. That's where I went. Suboxone.com is one site that helped me too. And the NAABT are the ones who hooked me up with my doctor. I was on a waiting list for about two weeks.

[LISA GIRL]

GGBLU. Congrats on 5 weeks clean! You will have to tell me again.. (5 weeks ago I will still on the percs! Can't remember everyone's story from back then... actually probably couldn't remember even if I WASN'T still on the percs) How did you do it? Cold Turkey? Sub? How have you been feeling? However you did it that's great. Love to see those success stories. Have to keep reminding myself I'm one too.... til I'm off the sub though, I won't really feel like one. GOOD FOR YOU!

[morticia]

hi everyone,
its been 3 weeks since i had a pill, i even went to an NA meeting last night and i loved it im definalty going to try going 90 meetings in 90 days. anyone know how you get a sponser?
i cant believe how much better i feel off perks the methadone really helps with the cravings but most importanly it helps with my chronic back pain so now surgery isnt an option thank goodness!

hope all is well with everyone i love to read all of those sucess stories, hopefully i'll have one too someday.

take care

Clean Date:10/16/06



luv n hugs Clarkie

[tinkers]

morticia,

Glad to here that your meeting went well its so good to hear that you have 3 weeks did you ever think you would be saying that? Well about a sponser you need to ask some one a guy asks a guy and lady asks lady the resons are that you dont wont a fling, and it does happen it sad to say that some men take an na meeting as a dating service and they tend to take advantage of rookies so be aware after time you will be able to spot the fakes that are just trying to get laied other that that its a good program me and my wife attended regulary for some time my wife headed a few meeting nights that is how I know about this also my father in law has 19 years clean and he was very involved with the program for many years so as they say it works if you work it. About the meth I think I know why you are on it for real pain and sub will not work for that meth is a good option for you its better then the pill hunt my uncle takes it because of an injury as well as addiction and I will tell you he said that the w/d from that is 100 times worse than the pills or eve herion it was his drug of choice he has to go to the er if he runs out early with that good luck your doing the right thing, things can only get better.

[4love530]

Thank you soooo much for the info!!!!
I called a dr today who has sub. He told me that he keeps people on sub for 6 to 12 months... is this right??
Has anyone been on it that long?

Thank you![:X]

[AmyBreeze]

quote:Originally posted by 4love530

Thank you soooo much for the info!!!!
I called a dr today who has sub. He told me that he keeps people on sub for 6 to 12 months... is this right??
Has anyone been on it that long?

Thank you![:X]

I am on Sub and my doctor told me the same thing. 6-9 mnonths.

Amy

[tinkers]

4love,
I have been on sub for about 6 months now and have been weening down over the last 3.

[tamara02]

hi guys, just got out of my sub.dr.appt.everything went well everyone was great,rx'ed me 60 8-2 mg. per month,just took my 1st.one 45 minutes ago so far so good except for a headache,the dr. told me 16mg per day was not to much for me to take, I guess cause i was taking 15 to 20 #10 loracets per DAY..She said ( the Dr.) It is also very impt. to go to some kind of counseling or aa/na meetings,so I guess my next step is to start going to meetings,It all hasn't really sunk in yet,all the changes,etc.. she also said that 1 year is how long they like to keep you in the program , but will start tapering in a few months.thanks for listening hope all is going well for everyone else,too!!talk at ya later,Tammy

[morticia]

hi Tinkers,
thank you for your advice on the meth, i heard the same thing about how addictive it could be but the pain management doc went over it very slowly and he said that it would be better for me than having the surgery (i have syatica and a hernaited L5 disc and Ineed further eval of my lower back because the MRI showed some abnormadies in the lower back that only a ct can pick up. the meth works great and i dont feel "high" at all which is fantasic.
no, id never thought i would be saying that i vbe been 3 weeks clean its such a good feeling i never felt better in my life im so glad i checked myself in to detox, and that i found NA ,thanks again for the heads up on the NA fakers , thats the last thing i wanna do is get hit on, cuz im there for me ya know? I hope that i can get a sponser, i'll be going tricks or treats with my kids and will be missing a meeting but i will be definalty going tomorrow night.

thanks again Tinkers for all your advice i really apprciate it.

luv n hugs Clarkie

[patmamma]

Kaidog, where are you? I hope you are doing well, but, I miss hearing from you! You are my freezing cold turkey buddy!

I am in a manageable amount of pain today, I have the option of taking a percocet, but i dont want it. I dont have any weird feelings of withdrawls! I think all the hard work from the past has really paid off!

Happy Halloween![)][}][]

[tamara02]

hey there,still got the bad headache,but thats all,just wondering abt. something! The somas and zanax helped before I got on the sub. I didnt ask my doc but is it ok to take the somas once ina while while on sub or not,dont really like the zanax effect but the somas help,will it mess w/ the sub? anyone,thanks tammy