[tiernine]

quote:Originally posted by becky2

Hi everyone!Ok,6 day update...still loving suboxone!I have felt great all week long,no painpills since last tues. night!!!I have had absolutely NO side effects from SUboxone except for zero w/drawls!I just hope that it will be easy enough to saty off of them when I am done w/ sub!!I felt a little bit of w/drawl the other night because I hadn't taken enough of the sub that day and took some and was fine w/ in minutes!But I thought to myself,oh my god,that is what i would be feeling for days if i didn't have the suboxone.scary.hope everyone is doing well,thanks again for all of your emails ).rebecca
p.s. Bobbie )...let's get our group started...how should we go about it :O)???????????

I think starting a group is a great idea,I have been on Suboxone for about 4 months now and i feel great. I have created a website with a chatroom, now this is the first site i have ever made and everything i used to make it was free, so i hope everything works. So if anyone that is on Suboxone or has questions about Suboxone, or just wants to chat here is the link
https://home.comcast.net/~ninetier/suboxonesupport.htm
it is also in my profile here. Thank you to everyone in these forums
I have been reading them since Dec. and all of you have givin my more support them you will ever know.

[gettinolder]

i too am going through a very serious drug problem and am having a hard time just finding affordable help in south florida with the suboxone. what does this do for you and how does it make you feel???

i have been addicted to drugs for over 20 years off and on and im so tired od these drugs and know and feel its time to get help...i just cant seem to find anyone i can afford to help me here and they want to put me on other drugs once i get off these....**** im not looking to do that dont they get it???? any help will be greatly appreciated is im so desperately wanting my life back and to wake up every morning and see the shine shine through my own eyes not the drugged out ones where i cant remember sometimes.........thank you to whomever came up with this board. these friends here are great and have helped me in ways of support since ive started my search.


gettinolder

thanks a bunch

Summer

[happyphantom]

i have never posted before...
but i've been reading this forum for a loooong time. i wanted to thank each and every person out there who has shared their story. it has been such an inspiration to me, and i'm sure i represent a large number of people who frequent these boards, but never get up the courage to post.
i was addicted to hydrocodone for 5 years. i am 23 years old. my mom had them around when i was in highschool, and i would take them for the high. then, i found myself making up ailments to my doctor to get them. i pretty much went to all lengths so i wouldn't run out. i was up to about 8 a day. i would take them as soon as i woke up. i couldn't even get up to do anything if i didnt have any hydro's in my body. it got to the point where they weren't even making me feel good anymore. i could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. always walking around all drugged up. horrible headaches...very very irritable. but still, i felt better on them, than without them of course. being so young, i couldn't even remember a time i actually dealt with any kind of authentic emotion, because i have always taken a pain pill to "numb" me, i suppose.
then i started reading this forum, hearing all about people that were in the same situation i was..it gave me strength to do something about my addiction.
i am very proud to say that i am offically 60 days clean. i've never told anyone about my addiction. EVER. i think if someone found out they would be VERY shocked. i also went cold turkey. i just told everyone i had the flu and dealt with the withdrawels. i knew that i couldnt have "tapered" off of the drug, because i knew that if they were in my posession, i would take them.
for the people who want to quit but are scared...i totally know how you feel. it's a horrible horrible feeling. it doesn't even feel like you are living life. but you CAN get off of them. i'm not gonna lie to you, the withdrawels are hell. its like having a really bad flu combined with feeling on edge. sleep especially was interrupted, i took some over the counter sleep aids at night just so that i could fall asleep and that seemed to help a bit. but the physical is nothing in comparison to the mental issues that go along with it. for me, the physical withdrawels completely went away after about a week, with each day better than the last. but mentally...you're pretty much an addict for life in that sense. i still have days where i crave them real bad, and days where i don't think of them at all. its really difficult not to break down and take another one. but as each day goes by, you build more confidence that you can stay off of it for good. its really important that when you decide to quit taking them, that you never ever go back to them, even if its just ONE single pill. guarenteed, you'll be back on them again.
at any rate, this is getting very long and boring i'm sure. i just really wanted to thank everyone on the board for all of your wonderful advice and kind words. know that there are a great number of people that read this, even if they don't post. and for those of you still struggling to fight these destructive pills, KEEP IT UP! you all can do it. just keep thinking to yourself "this too shall pass". if any of you would like someone to talk to, i'm here for you.
i always thought that if i stopped taking the pills, i would never be happy again. but trust me, the grass is DEFINITELY greener on the other side!

[mpvt]

Way to go phantom you are an inspiration to people like yourself who read the post and start to think.Everyone who has a opiate problem feels alone and against a rock and a hard place but there are ways as you have shown.Again,congrats,pats on the back and anything else,we are proud of you....Dave

Always consult a MD first

[CheySapphire]

I need to ask everyone's advise, am thinking of going in to a hotel for a week to try and clean myself up, that why am not around anyone and that why also my kids wouldn't see what is going on, I wouldn't be able to go anywhere cause there is no buses or trains, and I wouln't take any money with me that why I can't take a cab to try to leave. am scared but I really want of the garbage, even if it kills me,and am tired of waiting for the doctor who uses the sub, so am going to try and do it on my own, the hard why. Please tell me how long you all think I should stay at the hotel, I don't want to be there long if I don't have, cause am really going to miss my kids,exspecial my 3 year old, but I really need to do this too. Thank you for the advise and wish my luck. again Thank you Susan

Susan37 Mother of 10 and Two grandchildren and one of them live with me.

[Hunterdog]

Susan37:

While withdrawal can be done alone, it is enormously difficult. A "hide-away" hotel may be helpful but it would be much, much better if you had somebody to help you.

My suspicions are that you will need about 10 days of isolation but that is not to say that you will be completely recovered in that time. Generally you will feel aweful, flu-like symptoms along with restless legs, especially at night and will get little or no sleep. I would strongly recommend over the counter helps like Immodium to stop the constant trips to the bathroom. It will be difficult and yes, you may feel worse than at any other time in your life. HOWEVER, it IS temporary and after the 1st 4 or 5 days you will feel better and better.

A friend or loved one that can attend to your needs will increase your chances of success by a wide margin.

I wish you luck. Please keep us posted as to your progress.

Today is day number 22 for me totally clean.

Hunterdog

[happyphantom]

quote:Originally posted by mpvt

Way to go phantom you are an inspiration to people like yourself who read the post and start to think.Everyone who has a opiate problem feels alone and against a rock and a hard place but there are ways as you have shown.Again,congrats,pats on the back and anything else,we are proud of you....Dave

Always consult a MD first

thank you so much for your kind words! especially because of the fact that i've never told anyone about my addiction...they all had no clue what i've gone through...mentally AND physically. it's really nice to hear that somebody (even if it is a stranger) is proud of me and giving me positive reinforcement.
so again, thank you. i'm really glad i found this forum.

*love and light*

[kuplo]

Im not drug expert, but my experience with a 2 year addicion to Vicodin XS, was a pretty rough cold turkey event.

I was finally made up in my mind that I was done with them. I took my last 8pills one morning (yes I was up to 5 to 8 xs vic's for the last 6 months of my adiction to them) and just went cold turkey.

I wont lie to you, it was probably one of the worst weeks of my life. Sleeplessness, diaharea, shakes, major irritability etc.
At the end of my week of being clean of them I felt right aw rain again, I was still feeling pain (but it was the normal pain tha that everyone experiences in everyday life (sore heals, sore legs, sore back etc) but withn a couple more days my body grew accustomed to that and I stopped noticing it.

I beleve it can be done but it takes a strong will and a real desire to stop. I did consider a rehab until I found out I couldnt afford it and had no health insurance to pay for it. So my only option was to go cold turkey and just stop. Once I started to think about quittiing the vicodins 750mgx8/day I still had about 50 pills left so I waited till they were all taken (my moment of weakness), when they were all gone though, then that was it, no more ordering them at inflated prices on the net, just cold turkey. Its now ben 2 or 3 years free and clear of vicodin with the one exception when I was prescribed them again for more oral surgery, I ended up having 12 out of 24 left over in the bottle when I stopped taking them again.

Some people require treatment by a physician to quit gradually, sadly I've seen one of my friend take this route and all he did was double up on the dosage the dr recommended he take and ran out of pills early on, and the doctor prescribed him some more so that he could taper off again. It took three prescriptions before he started to actually taper off of them. he's now been clean of them for a year and a half.

I highly suggest depending on how much of them he is taking, that he seek physcian care to try to get off of them.

[linguapohombre]

To those of you who are fighting addiction and want to get your life and freedom back,I would not use the suboxone .It is a long acting opiate and will cause you to be addicted if you use it for an extended time.The withdrawal will last for at least 2 or 3 months if you decide to get off of it .The hydros clear from your system in a couple of days and you will have 4 to 6 days withdrawal .Much better than 2 months .You can take less and less of the hydro or oxy each day .Just enough to avoid withdrawal because it takes only a fraction of your "euphoric dose " to relieve withdrawal symptoms .If you can reduce your dosage by 20 to 30 percent every day or 2, till you are using 5 milligrams instead of 30 or whatever you were using ,then your withdrawal will be so much less intense .Withdrawal from 10 pill habit is very intense while withdrawal from 1 pill will be much less .And your body will be slowly adjusting while your tolerance will fall .That dosage you were taking at 8 or 10 pills will kill you when you have arrived at the 5 milligram dose .So if you can slowly taper off to a single pill ,DO NOT take the high dose you were taking before .It is hard to taper down because you miss the euphoria but many of us realize how good it feels to not suffer wd's.I have been in your shoes so I speak from experience .Good luck

[JBowski13]

How long were you on suboxone?

[micaylasmom]

Miles you asked for more proof that addiction is a disease and that some people are more prone to it due to the lack of endorphins, well here it what you asked for. Any more questions?


DEFINITION OF ADDICTION
Addiction is a brain disease characterized by compulsive use, continued use despite adverse consequences, and craving or drug hunger. Addiction is a disease of the pleasure producing chemistry of the brain. Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease. The natural history of the disease is illustrated by the progressive loss of control over use, so that the loss of control over behavior occurs more rapidly as the disease progresses.

Dr. Blum calls this Reward Deficiency Syndrome. Individuals with Reward Deficiency Syndrome have been shown to have a specific chromosome sequence (predominantly the a1, d2 allele.) Persons with this chromosome sequence have 20% to 30% fewer reward (d2) receptors. Individuals with the a1 allele have a 74% increase in risk of having one or more of the reward deficiency syndrome disorders: substance abuse, compulsive disorder, attention deficit disorder. Insufficient dopamine receptors are what these disorders have in common. These individuals are hyperactive; they have to stimulate themselves constantly to feel normal. Once they discover drugs and alcohol, they tend to rely on the drugs or alcohol for the stimulation. And the tragedy of that is that the drugs further injure their dopamine endorphin systems resulting in cumulative damage. Every single time a reward deficient individual uses drugs, the tremendous difference between being high and being sober increases, and sobriety becomes less tolerable and more difficult. Sobriety becomes empty, hollow and dysphoric. The individual becomes anxious and irritable; they just feel bad all the time. At the same time it is perfectly clear to the individual that if they used a drug or alcohol, they would feel better.

quote:Originally posted by Miles

Stace: My intent is not to insult but rather get some of you to look at your situations in a different light. Please accept my apologies for your offense at my remarks.

For example, addiction is not a disease as you allege. In medicine, the core meaning of the term disease is lesion.

Manipulating things is difficult, sometimes impossible. Manipulating names is easy - we do it all the time. Violet may be the name of a flower, or a color, or a woman, or a street. Similarly, a disease-sounding term may be the name of a bodily malfunction, or the malfunction of a car, a computer, an economic system, or the behavior of an individual or group. We cannot distinguish between the literal and metaphorical uses of the term "disease" unless we identify its root meaning, agree that it is the literal meaning of the word, and treat all other uses of it as figures of speech. In conformity with traditional medical practice, I take the root meaning of disease to be a bodily lesion, understood to include not only structural malfunctions but also deviations from normal physiology, such as elevated blood pressure or depressed red cell count.

Unlike bodily illnesses, mental illnesses are diagnosed by finding unwanted behaviors in persons or by attributing such behaviors to them. Bodily illnesses -- say, cancer or diabetes -- are located in bodies; mental illnesses -- say, kleptomania or schizophrenia -- are located in social contexts. Robinson Crusoe could suffer from cancer, but not from kleptomania.

Mental diseases are diagnoses, not diseases. Conversely, psychiatric diagnoses (however constructed) are, by definition, mental diseases (or "disorders," to use the mental health professionals' preferred weasel word).

Diseases are physical. They are diagnosed by symptoms (complaints) and signs (lesions), or by signs alone (asymptomatic diseases). They are rarely diagnosed on the basis of symptoms alone (there are a few exceptions, such as migraine headache). "Addiction" is not listed in standard textbooks of pathology because it does not meet the nosological criteria for disease classification. This is because addiction is "diagnosed" solely on the basis of symptoms. There are no signs of addiction. All pathologists agree: Addiction is not a disease.

Addiction simply does not exist: public health is trying to reduce gluttony to figures and percentages, thus arrogantly attempting to reduce human beings to quantum entities. This pathetic attempt may serve the agendas of pharmaceutical industries and opportunist politicians, but it is not reality. People are not addicted: they simply make choices based on cost-benefit, and rewards. They are not sick, and they do not need any cure by the Therapeutic State. Unloading personal responsibility on others seems to be the unfortunate excuse of a spoiled generation, that has chosen to point the finger at anyone or anything to justify its guilt for overindulgence and its legitimate desire for pleasure and joy of living. That makes today's society rabidly puritanical. We do not readily recognize this, since our new puritanism is superficially different from the old, having become more open about sex and having removed religious and overtly moral references from the discussion. Instead we have the language of health, language about the body, not the spirit. It is a self-deception.

Miles

[micaylasmom]

Hi everyone my name is Angela and I am a 35 year old married mom to a 5 year old little girl. I got hooked on 7.5/750 hydro's due to severe stage IV endometriosis and I had four surgeries in a seven month period until the insurance company agreed to let me have a hysterectomy at age 34. I continued making up pain so I coul get my pills even after I felt okay because everytime I didn't take them I felt like ********************. I finally went in to my dr. last wed. and told him i wanted off of these damn pills. I was taking about 10 a day. So he said okay and he wrote me a script for 120 and wrote me out a plan to taper off of them. He said it would take about two months to get me off of them without any withdrawals. I am taking 9 per day for 7 days, then 8 for 7, and so on until I am down to a half a pill a day for 7 days. He was great about the whole thing. I am doing good so far but I am still geting what I need. My husband is handing them out to me so I do just like he said, If not i would probably just keep taking them and not taper off. Thank God for him. I really hate one stupid little white pill running my life and I am looking forward to having my life back and being off of the pain meds. I am so glad I found this board and others who know what it is like to go through this. I wish you all the best and thanks for letting me tell my story.
Hugs to you all,
Angela

[lomlbean]

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone had experience getting off actiq (fentanyl pop used for breakthrough pain)? I have a friend who started abusing it, and is trying to wean herself off. She is down to 1/2-1 per day at 600mcg. She tried to go cold turkey but was having really bad withdrawals. Is there another medication that's not as strong the she can use to wean down? Or maybe some herbal remedy that will help? She's too embarassed to go for professional help.

Any information would be great. I want to see her off this stuff ASAP. I hate what it is doing to her.

Thanks.

30 y.o. with severe back pain

30 y.o. with severe back pain

[qwertyasdf]

i was trying to find info on suboxin and i ccliked here and found you guys....I tell you about my habit, i started of just like everyone else, percs, vics, hydros, whatever i could get my hands on i ate. eventually i found oxycotins oc's and took those. the first time i did them it was two nights in a row. the next two days i woke up at 4 or 5 am and was hurting and did not know why.. a year later brings me to today and i have been taken them just about every day since...im 21 and it is so sos os expiensive.. a 40mg at 20-30 bucks a 80 from 45-60 bucks is just so much... i have done 4 or 5 80's a night. but its never enough... i quit for two weeks with percocite 10's i took 4 or 5 every four hours for 5 days on the fifth day i did not hurt. the oc's make you not poop, when u are detoxing u get the squirts, finally when you poop solid agian u know u are about done. after the 2 weeks i wanted to get high agian and got hooked. today i am clean for 48 hours. i have gotten my hands on some suboxin...5 bucks each and they work great. one every 24 is what u are supposed to take i break mine in half take half in the morning around 7 or 8 when i get up and then carry the rest with me just in case i hurt. during the day i find my seld breaking off little chunks and letting it desolve under my tounge. i think they are going to work and i wish all u the best of luck cuz i know how it is. i come from a great background, my family would be amazed if they new i am not the type of person that looks like a addict but i found out fast taht if you want to play with the big boys then there will be pain afterwards!.. good luck agian

[qwertyasdf]

me agian, i jsut read the posts before mine and read one that said suboxin is addicting. It is just like methodone if u abuse it and use it for extended peroids of time. if you can get five to eight methodone 5mlg or 10 or suboxin i have a orange pill about the size of a OC 80 or about the size of a advil, take them for a five days and on the fifth or sixth go with out them and see how u feel you should be fine. i am not a doctor, but every signle friend i have had in highschool is using oc's now so i get about 20 different opinions on how to and not to do's. also this website answered a lot of my ? http://www.buprenorphine.samhsa.gov/ hope to hear someone reply to my posts and i hope it helps at least one person cuz i know how it feels when u cant hook up or you cant score any and thats not life it shouldnt be at least...not for me anymore

[Miles]

micaylasmom:

Yes. One more question. I do not see any cause and effect explanation, as is typical with this sort of research. In other words, does the addiction cause the aberrant chromosome sequence, or vice versa? It's way too easy to poke holes in Blum's arguments. Drugs of abuse change brain function, we all know that. However, similar changes are also produced by relatively innocuous substances and everyday events. Such changes can not reasonably be said to represent the neural substrate of addiction.

There are many definitions of addiction, all equally flawed and meaningless, for addiction simply does not exist: public health is attempting to reduce human beings to quantum entities. This pathetic attempt may serve the agendas of pharmaceutical industries and opportunist politicians, but it simply is not reality. People are not addicted! They simply make choices based on cost-benefit, and rewards. They are not sick and they do not need any "cure' by the Therapeutic State. Unloading personal responsibility on others seems to be the unfortunate excuse of a spoiled generation that has chosen to point the finger at anything or anyone to justify its guilt for overindulgence and its legitimate desire for pleasure and joy of living. So, if it makes you feel "legitimately sick" and not just wacky to be labeled "diseased," so be it.

Interestingly, certain religions prohibit smoking on the Sabbath, and even the heaviest smokers report no difficulty in observing this rule. It is difficult to imagine a molecular dysfunction of the brain that respects the Sabbath!

Miles

[Lat]

Hi Miles

The pharmaceutical industries marketing and advertising staff have done an extraordinary job convincing the masses of the myth that all undesirable behavior has it's roots in faulty brain chemistry.

There’s not many people that wish to examine the flimsy facts on which this myth is based.

It's good to read your posts.

I'm arguing on 2 other forums at present. It feels like a bit that story "The Emperors New Clothes" and shouting "He has no clothes" and the crowd telling me to "shut up".

Keep it up Miles, the truth will break through eventually.


Regards
Lat

[Miles]

Hello Lat:

Greetings from the North American continent! I trust all is well with you and that you are continuing your fight for freedom and personal responsibility.

It is indeed lonely among us "heretics." But that is okay. Our "clothing" is the garb of freedom... freedom from the shackles of the Therapeutic State.

I can recall briefly studying the writings of 19th century journalist/economist Walter Bagehot in graduate school. It was he who coined the term "sheeplike character of men." At the time, I found that puzzling, for it was the 1960s in the USA. Perhaps I sold him short, for the current popular belief in the medicalization of problems in living may well illustrate his tenet.

In the nineteenth century, people were ashamed and embarrassed by their mentally ill relatives. This was especially true for parents who had a mentally ill child and for adult children who had a parent incarcerated in an insane asylum. Today, such persons take pride in having a mentally ill "loved one," make a career of speaking and writing about his "illness," and fight for his "right to treatment."

When I have time, I will view your postings on the other topics. You may count on me as an ally.

Sincere Regards,
Miles

[undrtkr]

I am a 35 year old professional male, married with two kids. I wear a suit and tie everyday to work. I was taking 15 to 20 10/500 Hydrocodones a day plus I had a prescription of 60 morphine pills that I took during a month. I, too, upon deciding it was time to quit used to frequent this board for inspiration. Although I never wrote in, I did read all of the posts and figured that I you could do it so could I.
The addiction with my got so bad that I could not do anything without have at least 5 or 6 Hydros in me. I would not go anywhere without my bottle of pills. They were always on my person at all times. Days before I would actually run out, I would spend countless hours trying to figure out how to get more. I had two permanent doctors that prescribed them for me and I doctor shopped several doctors a month to get more. I would see these doctors for one timers. I would travel far away from my town because the doctors here knew me.
It actually started out simple enough. I had sever back problems. I have two ruptured discs in L4 and L5 with impingement in the spinal canal. I have arthritis setting in in my hips and pelvic joints. Every doctor that I had seen for this suggested surgery, but at 33 who wants back surgery. So I went to a pain specialist. In the beginning it was great, the pain was gone. The about a year into the treatment, the pain was back, only worse. I took more and more painkillers to mask the pain that I was feeling. I had totally subscribed to the notion of better living through modern medicine. My doctor kept telling me as long as you take them as prescribed, that you won’t get addicted. I think that anyone that takes this drug for ANY extended time will get hooked.
I finally figured I was ready to get myself clean. I called all of my family together and told them what I had been doing and how much I was taking. To say the least, they were shocked. No one suspected a thing. The I went to my doctor and fessed up. I told him everything. How much I was taking, the doctor shopping, everything. He put me on Subutex. In my town, there was not a pharmacy here that had Subutex. I had to wait for two days before I could get it. Those two days were hell. The sweats, the chills, the vomiting, diarrhea, restless legs, no sleep. You guys that go through it cold turkey has a lot of guts. When I started on the Subutex, it was great. The withdrawal symptoms went away completely. I have been on the Subutex for a month, because it does contain some sort of pain reliever.
I decided enough was enough. If I was going to get clean, I needed to be ALL clean. Last week I stopped the Subutex. It was a challenge, but not like the Hydro withdrawals. I have been totally clean for 1 week now and everyday it gets easier and easier. I still WANT the Hydros, but it’s much easier to say no to then now.
The reason that I am writing, finally. Is to let those people that read this board and do not write in, to let them know that yes it is possible to kick this habit. It will take some determination and resolve on your part, but you too, can do it. You will need support from friends, family and talk to your doctor. He is there to help you. Your doctor doesn’t want you on these. With the Hydros, that much acetaminophen can really harm your liver. Anyway, I have babbled on long enough. Thanks to everyone on this board.
A couple more points, if I may, I have noticed that the pain is no where near what I remember it to be. Since I have been off of the painkillers, the pain in my back has become manageable with Tylenol and warm compresses. Go figure? It seems that body does have its own was of dealing with the pain without outside stimuli. One other thing, has anyone out there going through this had a strange smell constantly in their nostrils? Today is the first time since quitting have I not had a constant smell lingering in my nose. I was just curious. Thank You all, once again. And just for the record, I hold myself 100% accountable for my addiction, it was I who took more than prescribed, It was I who bounced from doctor to doctor to get it. I hold no animosity to my doctors, they were doing what they thought was right.

[Miles]

Undrtkr:

Your story is truly uplifting and should provide encouragement to anyone wanting to kick the prescription painkiller habit. It is genuinely refreshing to read of someone who has taken responsibility for his behavior and acted to redirect it toward a healthier lifestyle. Excellent choice!

Best of luck to you,
Miles

[CheySapphire]

Hi! Everyone its been along time scents I have wrote, I guess cause I feel bad cause I feel off the wagon, so to me am a louser and worth nothing to my kids, my man or anyone, I tryed to kill myself the other day, and covered it up when the cops and ambulance came, my son called them, cause I took the pills right in front of him,I took about 10 adivans I think that is how you spell it, but the only thing it made me sleepy for like three days,but I told the police and ambulance that I only took two of them, I lied I hit rock bottom and Iam to a shame to get help, and Jason I think has too, but he keeps telling me it is me, that he can stop, well it is 4:34 am and am at work, I took a per at about 4:17 am and that is it. I don't care anymore, what I feel how sick I get, I will take a whole bottle of tylenol if I have to I will carry them around like they are my best friend. I feel bad for my doctor he is running all these test on me cause am losing weight like crazy,can't eat anything it cramps my stomach, my hair is falling out,I look sick but everything so far is coming up okay yes even aids, I still have to go for a kidney test, and catscan for a lump on my ribs, and hasn't order test on my liver, cause he doesn't know about my problem,am a shamed of myself and who I became. thank you for listening. Susan

Susan37 Mother of 10 and Two grandchildren and one of them live with me.

[lucylou]

hello,just found this website by accident,long story, but read some entries and feel a big need to reply. first, methadone is a SUBSTITUTE for ADDICTION which CAN be dealt with by attending na.THERE IS HELP FROM ACTIVE ADDICTION.A PERSON CAN LIVE WITHOUT MIND OR MOOD ALTERING CHEMICALS. oh i just want to go on and on and i will but am seriously pressed for time. oh but i assure i will be back and will share my story. god bless you all.

caryn

[horseybucs]

NUMBER ONE FACT: I HAVE READ OVER 200 MESSAGE BOARDS AND I HAVE NEVER REPLIED, JUST READ. I CAN ONLY SIT AT A CHAIR FOR 10 MINUTES AT A TIME. I AM TERRIBLY DISABLED AND HAVE HAD MY LAST SURGERY, UNTIL THEY COME OUT WITH A WAY TO REBUILD A DISC AND REDO THREE IN A ROW. IN THE PAST 10 YEARS I HAVE LOST 3 INCHES IN HEIGHT AND CONTINUE TO HOPE THAT THE NEW "CUSHION SURGERY" WILL HAVE SOME HOPE. YOU DON'T SIT AT A DESK WITH WHAT I HAVE WITHOUT PAIN MEDICATION.
I HAVE READ EVERYONE OF THE POSTS, REPLIES AND REREAD THEM, ON THIS SITE. I SEE THAT THERE ARE COMMITTED ADDICTS, THAT KNOW THEY ARE. OTHERS THAT ARE ADDICTED FOR NO REASON OF PAIN. I WANT TO ADDRESS THE PEOPLE IN HORRIBLE PAIN AND THAT LIVE WITH THE MANAGEMENT OF TAKING THESE MEDS AND ARE DOING A FAIRLY GOOD JOB AT IT. WE ARE OUT THERE AND ARE TAKING METHADONE IN LARGE QUANTITIES, OXYCONTIN IN CONTROLLED INSTANCES WITH NO PROBLEMS AND EVEN OTHER MEDS THAT WE NEED FOR OTHER MEDICAL REASONS AND OUR DOCTORS TRUST US AND OUR CHILDREN, WIVES/HUSBANDS UNDERSTAND AND GO TO THE APPOINTMENTS AND ARE SUPPORTIVE. THERE ARE THOSE THAT HAVE BEEN TOLD, "YOU JUST WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK MUCH ANYMORE." "EVEN BY TAKING THESE MEDS, YOU SHOULD NOT WALK." YES, I READ THE REPLY THAT THESE MEDS CAN MAKE YOU HIGH AND THEY CLAIM THAT THE "HIGH" CAN MAKE YOU SUPERMAN. BUT, IF A PERSON LIKE ME TRIES ANYTHING, I AM THEN ADDICTED TO SOMETHING WORSE, HOPELESSNESS FOR MY SITUATION. THOSE OF YOU THAT THINK YOU ARE "ADDICTED" NEED TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT IF YOU DON'T NEED PAIN MEDS. THOSE OF YOU IN MORTAL PAIN, NEED TO FIND YOUR "LIMITATIONS AND ALWAYS STRIVE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER BY FINDING A GOOD PAIN DOCTOR." NOT A PAIN CLINIC. I HAVE FOUND THAT AFTER MY CAR ACCIDENT IN 1993, OUR GOVERNMENT DOES HAVE A TENDENCY TO LUMP US INTO CATAGORIES WHEN IT COMES TO PAIN MANAGEMENT. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND IF YOU ARE UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO LIVE IN A HORRIBLE STATE LIKE FLORIDA, YOU ARE FIGHTING THE "STREET DRUG PROBLEM." CHRONIC PAIN TREATMENT HAS MADE GREAT STRIDES IN THE LAST THREE YEARS AND I FEEL THAT THIS IS BECAUSE OF METHADONE. I WAS ON A PAIN BAG FOR THREE YEARS AFTER MY ACCIDENT AND HAD NO WITHDRAWAL FROM LEAVING IT BEHIND BECAUSE OF METHADONE. I HAD ONLY EXPERIENCED ALL OF THE DRUGS THAT ARE MENTIONED IN THIS BLOG AS MANY PEOPLE DO, THROUGH SURGERY, DENTAL WORK OR MAYBE AT WORK, WHEN SOMEONE HAD GIVEN ME ONE FOR ONE THING OR ANOTHER. BEFORE MY ACCIDENT, I HAD WRECKED MY KNEE FROM A RIDING ACCIDENT AND WAS ON VICODIN FOR TWO YEARS. I WAS HOOKED AND ON VICODIN WHEN I HAD MY CAR ACCIDENT. THEY HAD RUN A BLOOD SCREEN AFTER THE ACCIDENT FOR ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. I WAS ON A LOW DOSE, BUT, IT DID SHOW UP IN THE SCREEN AND ONLY AFTER I HAD BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 6 MONTHS, DID MY ATTENDING DR. SAY ANYTHING TO ME. YES, I HAD THE SAME FEELINGS OF BEING HIGH AND I LIKED IT AND I WAS CONVINCED IT HELPED ME THROUGH TOUGH SITUATIONS DURING THE DAY. SHAME ON ME. I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED WITHOUT HELP, GO TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT HELP, SHOWER MYSELF, DRESS MYSELF. I HAVE FOUND THAT IN ANY PAIN MED PROGRAM THAT YOU ARE MONITORING YOURSELF WITH THE HELP OF A GOOD DOCTOR, FIND ONE THAT IS GOOD FOR YOUR PAIN. IN MY CASE, WITH UPPER CERVICAL AND LOWER LUMBER SPINE DAMAGE, AN ANESTHESIOLOGIST WAS THE BEST FOR ME. THE PAIN DOCTOR DEAL IN THE USA IS A REALLY SCREWED UP THING RIGHT NOW, ESPECIALLY WITH RIGHT WING CONSERVATIVES NOT WANTING TO FACE UP TO REALITY AND THAT PEOPLE REALLY DO HAVE PAIN AND HAVE TO TAKE WHAT THEY FEEL ARE "ILLICIT" DRUGS! YOU REALLY NEED TO WATCH ONE OF THESE RIGHT WING WACKO'S WHEN THEY DO GET HURT AND NEED PAIN MEDS, THEY WILL TAKE ANYTHING AND HIDE IT. I GUESS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SAY IS "TAKING MEDS AND HIDING IT" IS WHAT SHOULD BE THE TRIGGER FOR ALL THAT THINK THEY ARE ADDICTS. ARE WE AN OVERMEDICATED SOCIETY HERE IN THE USA??? SOME SAY YES AND SOME SAY NO. IT IS MY RIGHT, UNDER THE LAW, THAT I CAN SEEK TREATMENT FOR MY PAIN. THE MEDICATIONS WOULD NOT BE THERE IF THEY WEREN'T USED AND DIDN'T HELP, IN FACT, IT'S RICULOUS THAT ANY PHARMACIST WOULD GIVE ANYONE A DIRTY LOOK ON OCCASION FOR WHAT THEY ARE TAKING. WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF THEIR'S ANYWAY!!! HIDING AND STEALING ARE ANOTHER THING. CALLING IN PRESCRIPTIONS FOR YOURSELF FROM YOUR WORK AT A DR'S OFFICE IS ANOTHER THING. A PERSON TAKES A DRINK AND THEY ARE AN ALCOHOLIC, A PILL AND THEY ARE A DRUG TAKER. WE NEED TO KEEP AND PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO OUR GOVERNMENT THAT OUR RIGHT TO STAY PAIN FREE IS NOT TAKEN AWAY FROM US IN THE NEAR FUTURE. AS FOR ALL OF YOU GOING "COLD TURKEY" I ADMIRE YOU, MAINLY FROM THE PRIVACY STANDPOINT,BUT, GET HELP FOR THAT "LITTLE SPECIAL VOICE AFTERWARD."
IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO REFUSE SURGERIES THAT ONLY HAVE A 20% SUCCESS RATE. UNTIL WE KNOW HOW TO REBUILD A SPINAL CORD OR OTHER TERRIBLE AILMENTS, DRUGS ARE HERE TO USE FOR PAIN. AGAIN, IN CLOSING, I HAVE RESEARCHED METHADONE TREATMENTS FOR ALL OF THE AILMENTS ON THIS BLOG AND RESEARCHED I HAVE. LIKE ONE OF YOU SAID, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH BEING ADDICTED TO PAIN KILLERS ONCE OR TWICE IN YOUR LIFE? THERE ARE MUCH MUCH WORSE PROBLEMS AND I WOULD TRADE ANY OF YOU IN A NEW YORK MINUTE. I WOULD...............

LINN

[horseybucs]

[quote]Originally posted by horseybucs

NUMBER ONE FACT: I HAVE READ OVER 200 MESSAGE BOARDS AND I HAVE NEVER REPLIED, JUST READ. I CAN ONLY SIT AT A CHAIR FOR 10 MINUTES AT A TIME. I AM TERRIBLY DISABLED AND HAVE HAD MY LAST SURGERY, UNTIL THEY COME OUT WITH A WAY TO REBUILD A DISC AND REDO THREE IN A ROW. IN THE PAST 10 YEARS I HAVE LOST 3 INCHES IN HEIGHT AND CONTINUE TO HOPE THAT THE NEW "CUSHION SURGERY" WILL HAVE SOME HOPE. YOU DON'T SIT AT A DESK WITH WHAT I HAVE WITHOUT PAIN MEDICATION.
I HAVE READ EVERYONE OF THE POSTS, REPLIES AND REREAD THEM, ON THIS SITE. I SEE THAT THERE ARE COMMITTED ADDICTS, THAT KNOW THEY ARE. OTHERS THAT ARE ADDICTED FOR NO REASON OF PAIN. I WANT TO ADDRESS THE PEOPLE IN HORRIBLE PAIN AND THAT LIVE WITH THE MANAGEMENT OF TAKING THESE MEDS AND ARE DOING A FAIRLY GOOD JOB AT IT. WE ARE OUT THERE AND ARE TAKING METHADONE IN LARGE QUANTITIES, OXYCONTIN IN CONTROLLED INSTANCES WITH NO PROBLEMS AND EVEN OTHER MEDS THAT WE NEED FOR OTHER MEDICAL REASONS AND OUR DOCTORS TRUST US AND OUR CHILDREN, WIVES/HUSBANDS UNDERSTAND AND GO TO THE APPOINTMENTS AND ARE SUPPORTIVE. THERE ARE THOSE THAT HAVE BEEN TOLD, "YOU JUST WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK MUCH ANYMORE." "EVEN BY TAKING THESE MEDS, YOU SHOULD NOT WALK." YES, I READ THE REPLY THAT THESE MEDS CAN MAKE YOU HIGH AND THEY CLAIM THAT THE "HIGH" CAN MAKE YOU SUPERMAN. BUT, IF A PERSON LIKE ME TRIES ANYTHING, I AM THEN ADDICTED TO SOMETHING WORSE, HOPELESSNESS FOR MY SITUATION. THOSE OF YOU THAT THINK YOU ARE "ADDICTED" NEED TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT IF YOU DON'T NEED PAIN MEDS. THOSE OF YOU IN MORTAL PAIN, NEED TO FIND YOUR "LIMITATIONS AND ALWAYS STRIVE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER BY FINDING A GOOD PAIN DOCTOR." NOT A PAIN CLINIC. I HAVE FOUND THAT AFTER MY CAR ACCIDENT IN 1993, OUR GOVERNMENT DOES HAVE A TENDENCY TO LUMP US INTO CATAGORIES WHEN IT COMES TO PAIN MANAGEMENT. EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND IF YOU ARE UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO LIVE IN A HORRIBLE STATE LIKE FLORIDA, YOU ARE FIGHTING THE "STREET DRUG PROBLEM." CHRONIC PAIN TREATMENT HAS MADE GREAT STRIDES IN THE LAST THREE YEARS AND I FEEL THAT THIS IS BECAUSE OF METHADONE. I WAS ON A PAIN BAG FOR THREE YEARS AFTER MY ACCIDENT AND HAD NO WITHDRAWAL FROM LEAVING IT BEHIND BECAUSE OF METHADONE. I HAD ONLY EXPERIENCED ALL OF THE DRUGS THAT ARE MENTIONED IN THIS BLOG AS MANY PEOPLE DO, THROUGH SURGERY, DENTAL WORK OR MAYBE AT WORK, WHEN SOMEONE HAD GIVEN ME ONE FOR ONE THING OR ANOTHER. BEFORE MY ACCIDENT, I HAD WRECKED MY KNEE FROM A RIDING ACCIDENT AND WAS ON VICODIN FOR TWO YEARS. I WAS HOOKED AND ON VICODIN WHEN I HAD MY CAR ACCIDENT. THEY HAD RUN A BLOOD SCREEN AFTER THE ACCIDENT FOR ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. I WAS ON A LOW DOSE, BUT, IT DID SHOW UP IN THE SCREEN AND ONLY AFTER I HAD BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL FOR 6 MONTHS, DID MY ATTENDING DR. SAY ANYTHING TO ME. YES, I HAD THE SAME FEELINGS OF BEING HIGH AND I LIKED IT AND I WAS CONVINCED IT HELPED ME THROUGH TOUGH SITUATIONS DURING THE DAY. SHAME ON ME. I CAN'T GET OUT OF BED WITHOUT HELP, GO TO THE BATHROOM WITHOUT HELP, SHOWER MYSELF, DRESS MYSELF. I HAVE FOUND THAT IN ANY PAIN MED PROGRAM THAT YOU ARE MONITORING YOURSELF WITH THE HELP OF A GOOD DOCTOR, FIND ONE THAT IS GOOD FOR YOUR PAIN. IN MY CASE, WITH UPPER CERVICAL AND LOWER LUMBER SPINE DAMAGE, AN ANESTHESIOLOGIST WAS THE BEST FOR ME. THE PAIN DOCTOR DEAL IN THE USA IS A REALLY SCREWED UP THING RIGHT NOW, ESPECIALLY WITH RIGHT WING CONSERVATIVES NOT WANTING TO FACE UP TO REALITY AND THAT PEOPLE REALLY DO HAVE PAIN AND HAVE TO TAKE WHAT THEY FEEL ARE "ILLICIT" DRUGS! YOU REALLY NEED TO WATCH ONE OF THESE RIGHT WING WACKO'S WHEN THEY DO GET HURT AND NEED PAIN MEDS, THEY WILL TAKE ANYTHING AND HIDE IT. I GUESS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SAY IS "TAKING MEDS AND HIDING IT" IS WHAT SHOULD BE THE TRIGGER FOR ALL THAT THINK THEY ARE ADDICTS. ARE WE AN OVERMEDICATED SOCIETY HERE IN THE USA??? SOME SAY YES AND SOME SAY NO. IT IS MY RIGHT, UNDER THE LAW, THAT I CAN SEEK TREATMENT FOR MY PAIN. THE MEDICATIONS WOULD NOT BE THERE IF THEY WEREN'T USED AND DIDN'T HELP, IN FACT, IT'S RICULOUS THAT ANY PHARMACIST WOULD GIVE ANYONE A DIRTY LOOK ON OCCASION FOR WHAT THEY ARE TAKING. WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF THEIR'S ANYWAY!!! HIDING AND STEALING ARE ANOTHER THING. CALLING IN PRESCRIPTIONS FOR YOURSELF FROM YOUR WORK AT A DR'S OFFICE IS ANOTHER THING. A PERSON TAKES A DRINK AND THEY ARE AN ALCOHOLIC, A PILL AND THEY ARE A DRUG TAKER. WE NEED TO KEEP AND PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO OUR GOVERNMENT THAT OUR RIGHT TO STAY PAIN FREE IS NOT TAKEN AWAY FROM US IN THE NEAR FUTURE. AS FOR ALL OF YOU GOING "COLD TURKEY" I ADMIRE YOU, MAINLY FROM THE PRIVACY STANDPOINT,BUT, GET HELP FOR THAT "LITTLE SPECIAL VOICE AFTERWARD."
IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO REFUSE SURGERIES THAT ONLY HAVE A 20% SUCCESS RATE. UNTIL WE KNOW HOW TO REBUILD A SPINAL CORD OR OTHER TERRIBLE AILMENTS, DRUGS ARE HERE TO USE FOR PAIN. AGAIN, IN CLOSING, I HAVE RESEARCHED METHADONE TREATMENTS FOR ALL OF THE AILMENTS ON THIS BLOG AND RESEARCHED I HAVE. LIKE ONE OF YOU SAID, WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH BEING ADDICTED TO PAIN KILLERS ONCE OR TWICE IN YOUR LIFE? THERE ARE MUCH MUCH WORSE PROBLEMS AND I WOULD TRADE ANY OF YOU IN A NEW YORK MINUTE. I WOULD...............

LINN
YOU KNOW I AM OLD, MY FRIEND JUST TOLD ME ABOUT USING ALL CAPS SO SORRY!!!

LINN

[prozacbutterfly]

i was at the beginning of a pain killer addiction, i was addicted to vicotin, oxycotin, and morphine. i went through very little withdrawals when i quit cold turkey. i was very shaky, i was anxious, parnoid, i was suicidal and i cut my self, i didn't sleep or eat or drink for 96 hours and i was wound up with energy. the withdrawals decsended after i finally got to sleep. i slept for 32 hours strait without waking up. when i finally did wake up my whole body was pale and clamy and i was shaking out of control. i took a cold bath then showered in warm water. after i ate something small like buttered toast or a plain waffle or soemthing like that my body accepted the food and with in two days i was able to go on with my life. i still to this day have an unsteady hand but i am getting help and i'm on prozac for manic depression, anxiety, ocd, clinical depression, out of control reactions to dramatic events(i was violent and i never remembered a thing i said or did). i don't what happens if you try to go off pain killers slowly but i know it only took about 1 week and 1/2 of pure hell to get out of my addiction cold turkey. if your friend doesn't smoke cigarettes she might want to take up the habit temporarily to help herself with the mental addiction. i started smoking to calm down because i was convinced that it helped me releave stress and then once i got through the pain killer withdrawals and was confident i was through with them i quit smoking. it's all in the mind with the smoking thing. if you can convince her that smoking cigarettes will releave stress then it will. once she is over the addiction tell her that you lied to help her and she will eventually quit smoking dependeing on her determination.i know it sounds crazy but it worked for me and my ex boyfriend it's worth a shot give me an update on her condition

[cathy1429]

Hi There,I just read your post and maybe i can help,atleast i want to anyway but what works for one doesnt always work for another,i dont know if youve read my previous posts in.Need to Talk?? I am a 42 yr old grandma as well as a recent widow after the murder of my husband of 25 years,after his death i began taking around 10 hydro 10's a day and in Jan.2005 i was taking 20-30 hydro 10's a day and more if i was lucky enough.......i wanted so desperately to be free of this hellish life but the more i took the more guilt i felt so the more i took and i weigh only 80lbs soaking wet,no joke,i lived on hydros,coffee,and cigarettes......i also have had a pacemaker since the age of 14 so i was terrified of w/d and then i found these forums and after 30,thousand dollars and being tired of the ******************** that comes with addiction i found the power from somewhere deep inside and set my mind to be free...i tried cold turkey and after only 8 hrs i thought i was dying,literally so i ran out and bought 10 more and hated myself for it but i couldnt take the w/d.that was on april 27th.....i went to my dr. and confessed to everything on the 28th and he gave me,ultram,immodium(very beneficial)clonidin and promethazine and ambien for sleep,beleive me when i tell you i felt better than when i was taking the hydros...........this is what worked for me so im just trying to help you and your friend anyway i can..it has been 8 days and im high.........but high on life,not hydro's and everyday really does get better,i swear it does.......i wouldnt lie to you because ive been there and the last thing an addict needs is being steered the wrong way or given false hope,Now i eat like a horse..LoL AND I DONT EVEN WANT OR CRAVE HYDROS PERIOD.Ive turned them down and i am so proud of myself for the 1st time in ages...it is so good to be free and able to think and enjoy things without being high.......it is possible,im living proof.......if you need anything dont hesitate to ask or post and the people in these forums as well as myself will do all we can to help,this forum helped me in so many ways and especially in inspiring me,im so grateful for it and the grace of God because thanks to them,Im free............FINALLY!!!!!!!!
A New Friend, Cathy

[hopelesslyinlove]

I need some advice. I myself have not got to the point with pain pills that I can't go without them but my loved ones have. My husband of 8 years has gotten to where he says hes not addicted to pills but he does not want to go without them. He has gotten through alot on his own, well with me beside him other drugs, crack, but I am so tired of hearing that "I am not going to take any more pills." and it not being true. What do you do when the one that you love more than life its self loves pills more than you. Its been 8 long years and I am not wanting to give up on my marriage I can't we have 3 wonderful children. I just want the pills out of my life. He just doesn't see how much they are affecting us and are family. Someone please help.

[Angel of Devotion]

Ive been doing pain pills for about 3 years. You name the tablet and I have probably taken it a few times. Morphine, Demerol, Hydros of all different strengths and colors lol, percocets, percodan, generic oxycode gel caps, Oxycontin, Darvocet, Ultram, Ultracet, just about ever one commonly available. Well, I figure today was my last buzz, or at least I hope. I have a girl