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Pain Management/ Opiates/ Fibro/ Advice /Help me
  1. #1
    icnola is offline New Member
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    Red face Pain Management/ Opiates/ Fibro/ Advice /Help me

    Hi,
    Im hesitant to post, for many reasons, but i would be skeptical if i read my situation i guess. However, I am past that point, I have multiple IS diseases including fibromyalgia and Migraines/Cluster and some >> rather not name just yet, I have been a pain management patient officially for maybe 4 years now, but have been on pain medications starting at 5 years old for sever migraines. Im 25 years old, I was/am an idiot and thought that since my doctor knew me, and my situation, combined with the fact that i never abused or even remotely took more medication than necessary/alotted, that i would be fine no matter what. I failed a drug test for marijuana at my PM doctor, i just didn't think about it in that way, and wasn't worried about it when the opportunity came up to smoke. I figured the tests were to show that i was taking my medication properly and not taking street drugs, I realize this was stupid, is my own fault, and that regardless of society's perception it is still currently illegal. Okay so fast forward a little bit, i walk into my doctors office after the test and they tell me that i failed last months test, Ive been terminated, this message will self destruct, etc. etc. They didn't talk to me like a person anymore, the receptionist just banished me basically. YES, i understand, I made myself a liability to him and his practice and to myself, all very stupid, and they had no choice to do anything else i guess. I was on 40mg of opana 4x a day, so 160mg of opana daily, and took 2 30mg oxycodone tablets every 6 hours, so 240mg of oxycodone daily, plus a few other anti-inflammitorys and somas and such. No one debated that i needed rigorous treatment to keep the pain in check, i was scheduled for a surgery in a few months to have a pain pump put in my shoulder, so i wouldn't have to take so many pills. Okay so this was a few months back, I have panic disorder, anxiety and depression problems, now all my medical conditions are unchecked. I have lost about 100 pounds about, down from a little over 220 to 135, Im a 6 foot tall male, I don't do anything, I literally just try to make it till the end of the day to get to sleep, without dying, Im stuck in groundhog day mode, My anxiety and panic make me hyperventilate just writing this crying. I feel so guilty for screwing myself over because i smoked a joint with someone i considered a friend before i got sick, and so i don't know what to do. I know what i did was wrong, and I've made myself suffer endlessly because of it for months now. Does this mistake i made mean that I'm like banished from the medical establishment of the US for life, my anxiety makes it hard to speak to anyone, let alone call a PM doctor and say yes i need to make a new patients appointment, I lost my last doctor because i failed the drug test. My anxiety also makes me way to much of a wimp to kill myself, unless i just die of starvation in another 6 months or something .I weaned myself off of my last month of the pain medicines, for me personally, the withdrawals arent the hard part, its the pain afterwards from not my conditions, every minute/day the pain builds, and i haven't been outside in like a month at least, i do get out of bed a few times a day but thats it. I don't know what the right move is...... thats all, i lack the resolve to type anymore, thanks in advance for any replies.

  2. #2
    icnola is offline New Member
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    Exclamation

    Let me simplify and try to add some clarity to my main question. I know I'm an idiot, does being an idiot however mean that I'm not entitled to medical care/ pain management anywhere for the rest of my life. How do i get a new doctor? Thats basically it i guess.

  3. #3
    Robert_325 is offline Retired
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    Quote Originally Posted by icnola View Post
    Let me simplify and try to add some clarity to my main question. I know I'm an idiot, does being an idiot however mean that I'm not entitled to medical care/ pain management anywhere for the rest of my life. How do i get a new doctor? Thats basically it i guess.



    Being a chronic pain patient is tough. I've been there but after getting off the meds and being clean almost ten years I've found that I didn't really need all the meds I thought I needed. I was in fact addicted to them and going into w/d actually caused me more pain than all my previous knee surgeries, RA, fibromyalgia, Raynauds, degenerative disc diseaase, the list goes on. Addiction is very painful in itself.

    Sure you're entitled to medical care, but keep in mind that pain drs are scrutinized by the DEA closely on a daily basis as they prescribe schedule II narcotics regularly. None of them are going to jeapordize their ability to earn a living giving meds out to someone who fails a drug test, even for pot. I'm not judging you for smoking pot, it's none of my business. I'm just explaining why pain drs seem so unreasonable at times. All you can do is make an appt with another dr and explain what happened and try for another dr. That's what I would do if I needed meds. Hope that helps. God bless.
    I am not a dr. My statements are based on years of experience and related education. Consult with the professional of your choice regarding matters of concern.

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