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Pain killer withdrawal journal
  1. #61
    DoinMyBest is offline New Member
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    I'm on day 3 of cold turkey, it's just getting worse for me. My xanax aren't helping and I haven't slept in 2 days. I literally feel like I'm dying, this is worse than anything I've experienced. I've never had withdrawls from anything before. I did cocaine for about 2 years and quit on a dime, smoked pot for 4 years and quit because I got sick of it with no problem, quit smoking cigarettes after 12 years with only very few times of ever wanting one, and I just up and quit drinking without a problem.
    I've only used hydrocodone for about 2 months, starting with 1.5 pills a day just for fun, then over a short period of time I went up to 4.5 at a time and even then barely feeling anything. I figured it was time to stop long enough for my tolerance to go back down and I could enjoy it again. I have easy access right now to over 100 pills, which I am fighting buying. I did give in about 5 hours ago and bought 10, however I have not taken them and still fighting the urge.
    I constantly feel like I am going to have a heart attack (which is just my normal anxiety on top of the anxiety I am getting from detoxing), hard time breathing, shaking frequently, nausea, headaches, muscle pain, and convincing thoughts that I am going to drop dead any second (seriously), and so far the only thing I have found that is helping me is typing out this annoying long text, which I'm sure if anyone reads this is getting sick of this.
    I had to call in to work yesterday because I couldn't handle being there and I have to be to work in 3 hours, which I'm not sure if I will be able to make it in today either. This is by far the hardest thing I've ever dealt with and I have only taken these for a very short period of time.
    I do not recommend anyone taking prescription pain killers for recreational use and if you get prescribed them for a legitimate reason, go easy on them. In all honesty, I have a feeling I will relapse even though I do not want to. The feeling I get from these is total bliss and happiness. Now that I stopped taking them, I realize it is totally ruining my life, taking up too much money, and pure stupidity. The bliss and happiness was just a temporary feeling, now it is nothing but pure misery.

    I really hope I can kick the habit, so far so good, but you never know.

  2. #62
    thekid0138 is offline Member
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    Default Hello

    So what kind of meds were you on most of the time and also what at any time in one day was the most you took just curious i have some ideas for you i am great at getting people to help them kick there habits but cant do it myself if you read my threads you will see what i mean so we will get you through this dont worry ok stay strong

  3. #63
    Ksb0412 is offline New Member
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    Unhappy Need advice or just someone to talk to

    Not sure if this thread is still going but I just read all three pages and can say I relate to almost everyone of your post. I'm gonna start this by saying I'm 19 years old and I have a pain killer addiction, horrible I know. It all started when I was 15 and my older sister gave me a vicodin and told me our father has a prescription for them an it will get you "high." I was already experimenting with drugs, nothing hardcore just weed, alcohol, normal teenage stuff. Up until this point nothing I had done was like taking that vicodin, it was the best feeling in the world. I started taking two every morning before school, of course my dad would hide them but I'd always find them. So this went on an off until I was 18, then I got pregnant. I realized I couldn't take these drugs when I went to the doctor and they drug tested me and told me if I ever tested positive they would take my unborn child away when I gave birth, so of course I knew I had to quit. I was so naive and had NO idea you could withdrawl from these little tiny pills, but of course I did what was right for my child and quit, I slept and stayed in bed for 3 or 4 days and everything was fine, didn't withdraw too much because I hadn't taken them everyday, just when I got my hands on them. So I give birth to my beautiful baby girl, and it was the happiest day of my life. I'm drug free, have good supportive friends and family, my life is amazing. Two hours after giving birth the nurse gives me a percoset, not thinking anything of it I take it, and that's all it took. It's 15 months later and I'm back to being addictive. It's been 15 months and I've taken pills every single day. I've tried to quit so many times and keep telling myself tomorrow, just one more day and I'll kick this. The farthest I got was 3 days, ended up getting staph and got attmited to the hospital, where they gave me a prescription for hydrocodne, my drug of choice. So for 15 months I've taken anywhere from 3-10 pills a day. I want to stop so bad, the only one who knows of my addiction is my boyfriend who is very, very supportive of me quitting, he has helped me SO much. I've only taken one pill today but I'm feeling so cruddy and just all around hopeless. I feel like I'm a horrible mother even though I love my daughter
    more than anything. I just want to make a good life for us and I know I can't do that when I spend all day worrying about my next fix. My parents will give me a pain pill if I ask and I know where they are so it's even harder when I know I can accsess them. Anyway thanks for reading, any advice would be very welcome!!

  4. #64
    cynet is offline New Member
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    Hello to all the forum members, newbie but not new to pain killer addiction.

    My mental health state is not the best and believe me when I say this, my family have suffered too, it's not just your battle it's there as well.

    My addiction was up to 50 pills a day with a combination of Tylex, Codeine, Tramadol and Dizapan.

    The average was 20 pills and when I made the 50 mark I was surprised I'm still here.

    I have been weaning now for 2 weeks and the biggest mistake I made was dropping from 20 down to just 4.

    Sweats, tears, pain, aches, sickness, urine issues and my body just screaming to my brain to say hey what the hell are you doing.

    Legal pain killer drug addiction is a easy thing to get into and a harder one to get out of without suffering mentally and physically.

    My advice is slow down first and not to jump or your body will shut it self down in ways your never want to repeat.

    I plan to be clean of pain killers by Monday and I wont be going back on them, they have nearly destroyed my marriage and me with it, if you have a problem go straight to your doctor and maybe check a local rehab centre out like I'm doing.

    Don't let these awful pills ruin your life, it's a short life and even shorter addicted to those rotten pills, I know some people don't have a choice due to illness, I had them for a illness but would rather give them a wide berth in the future.

    I wish everyone luck with beaten this BS addiction, your worth more than that people, remember that.
    stillstanding87 likes this.

  5. #65
    crisrsd is offline New Member
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    Thumbs up 2nd detox

    well everyone i want to give out cuddos to all that is detoxing.

    A little about myself. I am a 41 year old that got hurt on the job back in 2000 and became RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy also known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), a chronic neurological syndrome characterized by:

    severe burning pain
    pathological changes in bone and skin
    excessive sweating
    tissue swelling
    extreme sensitivity to touch

    I have 2 children all grown up living on their own. I hide a lot from them though. like how my disease is NOT getting worse but in reality it is my legs are getting weaker everyday. dr says i wil be in a wheelchair soon. I usually take a generic brand of Nubain for the pain. i can stop taking that without withdrawals but the pain is unbearable so i have to continue with nubain. However, now there is only one manufatcurer of it it goes on backorder at least once a year around the fall and winter season. And when it does my doctor gives me Dilaudid 4 mg 4 times a day. i know that does not sound like a lot and it is not and it does not work much for me. i take as told and stay in bed all day dure to the pain. but the real bad thing about the stuff is i go through detox everytime i stop taking the Dilaudid to go back to nubain...the first time this happened it took 7 month to get nubain again and had no idea about detoxing off the Dilaudid. that took 2 weeks total. the first 3 days i could not even take my nubain because it would counter act with the dilaudid in my systems still. and would not give me any pain relief. so i went those 3 days with no pain killers and was in the same amount of pain as if i would have taken both at the same time...so i saw no reason to waste the stuff. I went throught the usual detoxing cold-turkey stuff...was able to get out of bed on the 4 day but still not really able to do anything sat on the couch for the day. the 5th day was better and it got better from there. i was able to start cleaning the house again well just a much as my condition lets me. i am only able to stand for tops 10 minutes at a time and then i have to sit with my leg elevated for an hour. then i am up again to finish what i started. then one day 2 weeks after stop taking dilaudid i was not feeling sick to my stomach and able and willing with joy in my heart to do things like clean again. Well a month ago nubain went on backorder again and was not sure when it will come in. Dr put me back on Dilaudid but this time only need to wait a month for nubain. I was hoping since i was on Dilaudid for so little time no detox. I was wrong. but this time was much easier yesterday was the sickness, shakes(which on do no matter if i take meds or not part of conditions but these are worse then the usual shakes i have), no pain meds at all, u all know the usual detox stuff. well this morning still feeling sick but wanted to do some research on detoxing just make sure that this detox stuff was not just in my head and found this. So i decided to write something. it took me over an hour and a half but it is written. My reason for writting this was not to rant on about my detox but to give everyone doing it a huge congratz for doin it and that i understand what u go through and hate it just as much as everyone else. The one thing i remember thinking and saying is i know understand why drug addicts dont quit. i never want to go through that again. But now i know i will each time nubain goes on backorder. All i can hope for that when it does i only need Dilaudid for a short time. 1 day of the bad stuff and the rest just feeling like a have a small case of the common cold. i can deal with that. i wish all that finds this post the best of luck and cuddos for trying to get their lives back.

  6. #66
    ash1215 is offline New Member
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    Hi there.
    I know this is an old thread, but reading through this has been helpful. My story is much like everyone else's...started taing hydrocodone about two years ago. I would steal them from my dad who has an ongoing prescription for them. Here I am two years later with a 15 7.5mg a day habit. This will be the fourth time I am trying to quit. This needs to be the last...there has to be a better life than this. They seem like magic pills that make you happy and everything wonderful, but after awhile you end up alone, sick, depressed, and a waste of space. I've lost so many friends, a job, and quit my graduate work over these things.
    perhaps i'll carry on the tradition and keep a journal of my progress.

    Today - I took my last four pills around noon...I already feel like ????. My body is starting to ache and I am feeling a lot of anxiety. I am also a firm believer in the thomas recipe. So starting tomorrow a.m. I will be working through that. Luckily I have a xanax prescription, so hopefully that will help. I just wish I wasn't going at this alone...I have kept this addiction my own dirty secret. I am going to take a shot shower and try to sleep. Ugh not looking forward to days 3/4.

  7. #67
    need.help is offline New Member
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    Default Going through it too

    Hi! I am on a major detox from Opana 30mgER 3 times a day. I am a mom of an 8-year-old, and a wife of a very supportive man! It really, really sucks! I need to get her to school, but I am here with the same problem. And, I am starting to believe I can do this. It is very scary. I will check back. You aren't alone!
    "need.help"

  8. #68
    Katwontlisten is offline Junior Member
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    Default

    I am feeling very fortunate and empowered after reading this thread. After 5 or 6 years of norco 10/325 addiction (how can I say abuse, after all they made me feel so good and what I call "normal" lol), I sought treatment with the help of a Suboxone Dr almost 2 weeks ago. I was taking 400-500 mg of hydro in a day (yeah do the math, it wasn't a typo). When a 30 day script of 120 pills is gone within 3 days along with 2 or 3 "friend's" scripts and you still can't make it till your next refill, there is a definite problem. Call me weak or a chicken sh*t but I cannot go thru those horrible w/ d's. I have got real lucky to skate thru these last few years and only went thru them a couple times. However once were precipitated w/d's that my own Dr inadvertantly threw me unto not knowing certain med interactions. That was like 2 months ago. Precipitated withdrawls will make death seem like a much better option. At least that was how I felt. I had them BAD. Anyhow to all of you guys out there wanting to try to get out of this nightmare of a life that we have made for ourselves because of those small pills that have such a HUGE hold over us, please consider Suboxone therapy. Get info, talk to others and get their opinions. Yes, this is my second run with Sub. I started it 2 years ago or so and ended up relapsing 6 months later. I am fortunate and have health insurance that will cover the medication for one year. And it is only state insurance. So if someone out there is interested in going the sub route but don't think you can afford it (1 month supply of 60 films is $500), try to apply for insurance assistance through whatever state you live in. I know that relapse is a possibility that hangs over my head. But I also know that I hold the power over that possibility. I am a firm believer that we each have to hit our own "rock bottoms' before we seek sobriety. My 11 year old daughter will have a Christmas this year because her mom won't be spending $3000 + on pills next month. If anyone wants to talk or ask me anything that will help them, please don't hesitate. Kathy

  9. #69
    finallydone is offline New Member
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    Default Please help me, I messed up.

    Hi, i've been withdrawing from suboxone for the past six days. at the end of day six i did some oxycontin. does this mean my withdrawals are going to start all over? it just doesn't seem like they would because that doesn't make too much sense to me, but when i woke up the next day i feel worse than the day before. please help me.

  10. #70
    stillstanding87 is offline New Member
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    Default

    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by ddcmod; 06-04-2012 at 04:29 AM.

  11. #71
    philemma is offline New Member
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    Default no longer needed meds

    Quote Originally Posted by Cabe 5 View Post
    Oh and BTW
    the reason I get the relapses is not due to cravings, it is due to stupidity
    My GF has endometreosis, so she gets a small script every once in awhile, she also has a a xanax script. I hate xanax actually, but great for detox, I prefer valium, but only for sleep and oh my lord it makes food taste good.

    So basically I got hooked for 3 months last year because she can't always take her vicodin, he has ulcers or some such and start throwing up her meds. So I took em and enjoyed them, wanted more and cycle started. I finally DTed after 3-4 months I think without help.
    Was rough. I was clean 2 months and happy. GF got a script and offered me one on new years eve. Thought I would use those and have a quick slightly rough DT and be done with it. Well I finished that scripting and at same time got loaded with an order of SEVENTY 4x4 oil portraits to paint in 4 months. I had no time to DT so I had to keep buying or lose my commission (about 40k) and so i was one happy pilled up painter, but spending money like crazy and ruining my relationship. From day 1 my goal was to get so far ahead that I would be able to take a week or more to DT without missing a deadline. I had several weeks were I slept 3 times staying up 80 hours just pilling and painting. Well after much work and very little sleep and some scary as hell behind the wheel no sleep painting deliveries I made it to where I had a 3 week span, so like a good soldier I took it. And now. I have a great life. A new galaxy grey Honda Element (see I didn't spent all the money on pills), My b-day is all set up and the bands are booked for the 30th, me and my GF are smooching again and I am free of the monkey and that a-hole dealer. Now I can get back to being involved in my art buddies and shows, get out of the house for Jaeger shot and some pear ciders and see some live music and just feel.....well fixed and happy. Not scared and stressed. Yes I still have a billion more paintings to do as this is my job, and doing it without pills will be hard, but that's life. And I like it clean.
    I have been an AA man, walked in one day and quit drinking for 2 years after 13 of being drunk every night, college ect. ya know. Wasn't trying to kill myself on purpose, but I was. Now I drink in moderation, I can tie on on, but I know when and why I do it now. I have only been out 4 times since January (due to pills keeping me satisfied and those FREAKING PAINTINGS) I can't do that with pills, it is too easy to function on them. They don't make me wreck my car or slur my words or get fired, they just destroy my life.
    So I am glad and happy to be free. I have all this damn clonodine tho.......what should I do with it? hmmmm. http://www.revolutionhealth.com/drug...ments/catapres

    I think many pharmacies have a "amnesty" thing to where if a person is no longer needing the med or if it went past the expiration date, you can bring it to them to dispose.

  12. #72
    ARTIST658 is offline Platinum Member
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    Default

    That original post was from 2007, so it's quite unlikely that "Cabe 5" will see your response. It appears you are new to the forum, so you're still finding your way around. Generally, the posts are in descending order, unless you adjusted the feed otherwise. The newest posts are usually at the top of each page.

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  13. #73
    philemma is offline New Member
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ARTIST658 View Post
    That original post was from 2007, so it's quite unlikely that "Cabe 5" will see your response. It appears you are new to the forum, so you're still finding your way around. Generally, the posts are in descending order, unless you adjusted the feed otherwise. The newest posts are usually at the top of each page.
    OIC....Thanx for the feedback

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