[EnoughPercs]

Originally Posted by Chris1960

lyds,
I appreciate the sentiment. And I guess I know that I should be clean. But I am one unhappy camper. I'm beginning to question why one has to quit. As far as I know opiates don't damage you. They don't hurt your liver or other organs. I now see oxycodone as an antidepressant. And just like oxycodone, antidepressants cause w/d's. But antidepressants don't make me feel good, strike that, NORMAL, like oxycodone does. So then why can't the doc prescribe me oxycodone for depression?
I started a 3 day taper 7/16//07 and had all the accompaniment w/d symptoms. Made it to the 28th when I found enough pills laying around to give me 4 or 5 weekends of use. So the last 2 weekends I've had energy, got out of the house, and did the shopping the family needed. But during the week it just sucks, I can make it to work, late. Put in a solid 5 hours out of 8. Fight traffic home and maybe feed my kids something other than what they've been scrounging out of the pantry.
Point is I feel like cr@p and wondering why.

Chris;
That's SO F'd up, man!

I feel the exact same way! I work better, have more energy, enjoy everything.
I went clean for 6-7 weeks & then had surgery. Back to the percs for me.

Seriously, I'm doing 5-7 10/325 percs daily & plan on picking up my last (or hopefully one of my last) batches this weekend (batch of 50).

I need advice from others who quit:

1. I want to try wiening off this time. How much & how far apart should I wien?
2. Should I consider Suboxone? I know a local doctor who will prescribe it; but like anyone, I'm looking for the easiest, least painful & most convenient way to stop.
   I cannot miss work because of this, yet I can't function at work without them.
   I'm scared, which is why I'm hoping someone will tell me that Suboxone will help me function at work.

Someone please shed some light.

Thanks!

[mpvt]

Most definately go with suboxone as you won't have to miss any work and you will feel normal again.
The other poster see's oxycodone as a antidepressant and he has a point as opiates can and do make endorphin deficient people feel normal.The problem is that you get a tolerence after a few years and the oxycodone won't work anymore.I could take 600mgs of oxycodone in a couple hour and would not really feel the effects other then bring up bile (you do that after years of abuse).
Doctors are now beginning to realize that there is a condition that for whatever reasons causes some people to produce little endorphin's. (ORT) Opiate Replacement Therapy is starting to catch on and more and more doctors are warming up to it.
If you want to watch a good program on addiction then go rent (HBO's Addiction).This is a great program with many doctors and physciatrists giving up to date info on addiction and recovery.Have a good day everyone......Dave

[Cabe 5]

Sorry I have not posted in awhile. I made a blunder. My "I have a flu schedule" got horribly interrupted by my father getting involved in making me get out of the house to buy me a NEW CAR. not good. So pills were needed. This destroyed my window I worked hard on to create considering it involved days of car dealerships and hanging out with him while he stalled and played his little dad-mind games to see how high I would jump. My dad can really pull the plug quickly when I don't jump for him and has little respect for how I am feeling, its always an excuse with him, so now finally I ams starting over again. The same program because it worked so well. I see no reason for it not to work because well. dammit I wanted out last time. So I am 2 days in an writing this with a bit of taper. I needed to get on here and write so got 1 10 mg to take the edge off then I plan on dosing with clonodine and valium to get to sleep again and wake to no more in my plan. I assure all of you the next time you hear from me I will be doing just great, I have none of the stress I had to deal with last time I went through this. So, I hope everyone has made it through and is at least still determined. I will update. 4 days isn't hard. My next batch of art isn't due until 23rd-26th. I am trying this fun stuff again so late because I had to fight my way through 48 hour work days to get these paintings done and give myself a buffer between deadlines again (and 10 days until I hte to paint 5 painting in 3 day won't be fun, especially clean. So, I am here and I a rolling on this. I hope my absence isn't has let anyone down. Or the fact I am starting over. Withdrawal is a mixture of facts and denial. I assure you mine had been very annoying fact. But I am ready. If anyone needs help I will be available, just let me get 3 more days in and I will be more upright and cognoscente with clearer head an less pain. But for all of you free and clear. Stay with it

oh and PS. Don't be afraid of xanax or klonopin, my comments about "dropping dead" were about people who take it in excess and become addicted then either quit suddenly or mix with booze, just use it properly, it is a great drug for detox. Just don't get all wrapped up in its addiction as well.
Thanks Cabe5

[Chris1960]

I was going to say nice to see you back Gabe but I guess not under the circumstances. It's been 3 days since your post so I hope you're still hanging in.

In the movies it only takes 10, 15 minutes tops, to go through w/d.

I had found about a dozen 20mg oxys that I used on successive weekends. Funny but the last weekend included Thursday and Monday. Isn't that the way it is though? Once a week turns into twice a week turns into every a day turns into twice a day...

I have some Tramadol and codeine but neither do much for me. Neither does xanax really, I have only one true love Oxycodone (or her twin Percocet). But I aint got no pusher man to hook me up so I'm a jonesin. I need to travel in cooler circles.

[Vicapoison]

Guys and Girls, I started this weaning process on July 26th, its been 22 days, and It was my belief that I would be completely free in 26. I had maxed out at 4 pills at a time of 7.5/200 of vicoprofen about 4 to 5 times in a 24 hour period or roughly 16 -20 pills a day. I have written as I have been out of town, but made sure to be back in time to pick up my refill--even though I was able to wait four more days somehow then I normally would. Im coming on to report that I am now down to 4 pills a day and all though there were some uncomfortable moments, their was really nothing worse than a really irritable mood and diarreah( which is still taking place) I dont know if I will be free completely in 4 days but may go over by a day or two as I wean down to one and then assess my body and all of its systems in the post vicoprofen body chemistry world. I recommend weaning to anyone who really wants to be free of this. I realize that my addiction was completely physical once the psychological need was no longer there or maybe it has transfered to another way of dealing with itself but doesnt look to the vicaprofen but something else, (yet unknown-LOL), point is, it can be done on your own, with a support group or a schedule and people that love you who will understand and not judge you. The strange thing was when I took the two pills yesterday morning, I actually FELT them for the first time in a long time, but Im excited for this to be over so I can travel and not worry about what happens when I run out. It truly is freedom on the horizon and if I can find the self-discipline to follow a self-made taper schedule, anybody can. If anyone would like to know the basic outline I followed from my Max and decision to quit on July 26th, let me know and I will be happy to write one out for you that may assist you in following the same path and seeing if it might work for you as well.

Peace and best of luck to everyone fighting for their freedom from this slavery.

Vic

[Chris1960]

Vic

Count out how many pills you need to get through the weaning and flush the rest. Do it now while you have the optimism. If I hadn't done that I'd still be eating the pills. Don't trust yourself later.

[Chris1960]

Damn
I've just found out I've been killing myself with aspirin of all things. I've been taking 325mg/day for 2 years and I was supposed to be taking only 81mg/day. All sorts of bad side effects including tinnitus (ringing in the ears) which I have. May be irreversible. Linked to pancreatic cancer which my dad died of.

[Cabe 5]

I can say any benzo will help immensely. A doc with give valium easier that than others due to the risk factor being lower or nonexistent. Get an appointment and say you need it to sleep, Or be honest and proudly state how far you are into kicking out this ********************. Your withdrawals are almost over. The fact you can even write proves this. There is a period of WD where you feel like just giving up and then suddenly you wake up and that feeling is gone and you are just shocked at how good you feel. All addictions have a period of 4 or so days of hell then several of I can't take this....then it stages a major revolt. This revolt/rebellion it throws everything at you to get back on the drug (even cigs do this) then it gives up. It really is a tests of wills, thing is you KNOW it will give up.
Look up kolonodine and valium. Get espsom salt baths and for gods sake if you choose to sleep in the tub get something to support your head.
You are almost there. The fact you are worried how much longer let's me know you have some panic that it will always feel this way. tomorrow it won't. If not then the day after. It is such a short time of pain to get your entire life back, Just hanging there bit longer and you WILL be suprised,

I PROMISE YOU. I KNOW. 3 TIMES OVER I KNOW


just for god's sake make your's once

if you send me a PM I might can help if you live close to me. I have leftover helper stuff that I can get you. I know it sounds like a bad thing to do, but you are so close and if I can give you something to get you past these next 48 hours I will.

[Chris1960]

I'm starting to feel like "normal" (whatever that is) for the first time in 2 months. Yeah, my ears ring, my leg is numb and I have a runny nose but I'm starting to get energy back. I had to stop a lot of stuff that I was taking every day. Including the Oxy I stopped taking Wellbutrin, Xanax and aspirin. I was feeling soo wired. The only psych drug I'm taking now is Ambien for sleep. I tried to take halves but I wasn't sleeping. I'll try again later. I still have to take zetia (cholesteral) and lisinopril (blood pressure) but those don't seem to have any side effects.

I now think I'm beginning to know what it's like to feel "clean". What a long, strange trip it's been.

[incog1]

Thanks Cabe for all the info, I am going to do what you wrote and try to keep you informed, but right now i am on my way to a bath and am sending my daughter to get me some banannas I will get up later and get the rest. Then going to take a valium and try to sleep

[incog1]

I guess i should share about me, lol i feel like i'm in some kind of NA or AA group..lol I can laugh now, but the h*ll will begin for me soon. I am a mom of 2 a 17 year old and 7 year old. I was introduced to narcs with my first intestinal sx at 21, then 3 months later had an obstuction and was on them again. Did not really get on them again until i was 30, my recent use kicked up in october,when my daughter ran away to live with her hubby, i just finished my last morphine pill yesterday. I will definately miss all the creative times i was using, not sleeping, being more productive, but the scare crude like driving on fumes etc. i will not. I think i am tired of it, and feel safe to say that i will not abuse anymore, even if i could get them. I dated a guy once who slowley was having all his teeth pulled, just to get the pills! I am by no means vain, but i am a pretty women and i just can not see myself getting that bad!

[Cabe 5]

Good to hear incog. Glad you have valium, it really id like night and day when you have that. WD with a benzo is rough but possible, I know I have done it. But my relapses always allowed me to study various ways of WD and how they felt, now only if that was intentional and I was paid for it hah.
You should do well, I have not taken what you are kicking but imagine it is pretty hard core high. I am praying or you, and if your an atheist I am having a pep rally with strippers for you. Any way you slice it I am just rooting you on. I hope you get through it and yes get some sleep and do not let the excuses creep in. Like "Oh i need to do this, it has to be handled but I cannot do it while I am in WD. I need one pill to allow me to deal with (insert issue here) then I will get back to my recovery." because that is what gets everyone. The excuse comes in many shapes and forms, the brain works very hard to make this excuse. Sometimes it is a very real excuse and you have to make sure that it really would cause catastrophic damage to your life vs. your brain just wanting a cookie..I have relapsed several days into WD because my work dropped stuff on me that if I didn't get it done I would lose my job and had no choice, but I quickly solved the problem and resumed my WD. Remember that just one excuse and you may be looking back a year from now going "man I was so close, why did I take that one pill? Why am I shill on this ********************? I missed my window"
beware the tricks of the mind and stay asleep if you can. You can't do stupid stuff if your asleep.

[Cabe 5]

wow, slowly getting his teeth pulled to get them? that's effed up!
yeah, run. Run away from that lifestyle as fast as you can.
I used to drive like you say. Slapping myself, begging to get home faster. I did fall asleep at wheel and woke up hitting the plastic break away poles that separate the HOV lane from the others, woke me up quick with minimal damage to my new car
But I was damn lucky. Night before xmas too. would have died without the plastic alarm clock banging away on my grill
a real wake up call.

[incog1]

right now i am sweating like a horse, since pigs do not sweat..lol how lovely, my nose is runnin like mad and i feel hot and cold, this sure does suck, the cigs dont help, i actualy found that i smoke less off the pills! i am supposed to be working..lol but i can not focus enough to ensure patient care...lol priorities right?

[nizerstein]

How long does the malaise last? I actually felt better when I was sick in bed. This state of mind is a very hard thing to deal with. I am starting to have thoughts again, kind of like an old engine that hasn't been started in a long time.
It is not logical to use opiates when you know the price of withdrawal. The high is not worth it because it removes the brains ability to feel good.
I might be feeling better and am trying to keep noticing the improvements however slight.
This is a tough lesson to learn

[mikeyb888]

hey nizerstein...the state of mind is what keeps me coming back to them. How long have you been clean for? I did my last dTox 2 months ago, and although everything was impoved as far as my job, relationship, and even daily routine...the state of mind of not being "as happy as i could be", like the consant feeling of joy when i take them, is what made me fall down the rabbit hole yet again. I have been taking them for a month now about 8 a day & im in hell. I'm trying to put off this detox, but i know that i cant keep living like this. Any advice? I cant get a script for valium or xanax or any of that junk, but do you know of any over the counter drugs that may help? How are you doing so far?

[mikeyb888]

Originally Posted by nizerstein

The high is not worth it because it removes the brains ability to feel good.

i think youre right on with this..i hate myself for taking that first pill b/c i feel like now my brain cant be satisfied with the simple joys of life, because it knows that there is something out there that can ease your problems & make you "feel good".