[no_more_tram]

Well, 3 weeks ago I started back on Suboxone after having stoped them and relasping. I was in a Suboxone Program, but stopped going to the meetings and seeing the Nurse once I stopped taking the medication. Once I started back on the Suboxone(I had leftover medication from the previous time). My counselor called me to inform me that I had a week to let him know if I still wanted to be in the Program, if not then I would be dropped. Anyhow I did call him and left him a voicemail telling him that I was back on the Suboxone and still wanted to be in the Program. Anyhow I called the Nurse today to let her know I needed a refill, she said that I had been dropped. She said the only way that I could get back into the Program was if I went back into Detox for a day or two to be monitored on the Suboxone, which I absolutely can not do. For many reasons. So I have one more dose of Suboxone for tommorrow morning, and then that's it...I have to go through the horrible sickness of W/D's. So I decided to start a thread so that I could keep everyone informed including myself on my journey through hell. Guess I would appreciate some kind words/wisdom to help get me through this. Please keep me in your prayers.

[Robert_325]

The nurse said you could go into detox a couple days and they will give you more meds? And you're not going to do it? C'mon girl! Think about this. This is the best break you could ask for.

I don't believe in pulling punches. The truth hurts sometimes. But you're going to be so sick, maybe for a month, find a way to take advantage of this blessing. It's your life and your call. But if your life was on the line you would find a way to do it no matter what the cost.

I think you're totally missing the boat if you don't do it. I don't care how broke you are or anything else. This is a HUGE blessing you've been provided. If you don't follow up on it then you have no one to blame but yourself.

I don't mean to sound heartless. I care about you and everyone here. I pray for every single member of this forum daily. But you need to find a way to do this and then I can help you. God bless.

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

The nurse said you could go into detox a couple days and they will give you more meds? And you're not going to do it? C'mon girl! Think about this. This is the best break you could ask for.

I don't believe in pulling punches. The truth hurts sometimes. But you're going to be so sick, maybe for a month, find a way to take advantage of this blessing. It's your life and your call. But if your life was on the line you would find a way to do it no matter what the cost.

I think you're totally missing the boat if you don't do it. I don't care how broke you are or anything else. This is a HUGE blessing you've been provided. If you don't follow up on it then you have no one to blame but yourself.

I don't mean to sound heartless. I care about you and everyone here. I pray for every single member of this forum daily. But you need to find a way to do this and then I can help you. God bless.

Trust me if I could go I would. I have two kids, and noone to watch them. I was LUCKY to have my mom, boyfriend and best friend help the other 2 times I had to go to detox. My mom will not help anymore, neither will anyone else. I have no choice.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by no_more_tram

Trust me if I could go I would. I have two kids, and noone to watch them. I was LUCKY to have my mom, boyfriend and best friend help the other 2 times I had to go to detox. My mom will not help anymore, neither will anyone else. I have no choice.

What would happen if you had a head on collision and was placed into a coma for 60 days? Would everyone in your world cease to exist? I don't think so.

There is ALWAYS a solution to ANY problem if we look hard enough for the answer. It isn't usually easy but the solution exists. It's been offered to you. Not being cruel, just telling it like it is. You could end up in some sorry place doing this cold turkey and I'm only trying to make you see the foolishiness of your train of thought. It's your call but I will help you any way that I can even though you may not like what I said. God bless.

[cheekysod]

so who is going to look after your kids when you are in MAJOR WITHDRAWLS from jumping off a large amount of sub.
did you even taper it at all.
or just stay on 8 the whole time.
you are one crazy person.
good luck
you are going to need it

and you got told "A DAY OR TWO" ........whats a couple of days, when it comes to saving your life.

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by cheekysod

so who is going to look after your kids when you are in MAJOR WITHDRAWLS from jumping off a large amount of sub.
did you even taper it at all.
or just stay on 8 the whole time.
you are one crazy person.
good luck
you are going to need it

and you got told "A DAY OR TWO" ........whats a couple of days, when it comes to saving your life.

Well...I will have to do my best watching my own children, I will get some kind of help one way or another. And how am I crazy?? Because I have no choice but to do this. Although I appreciate everyone that responds to my threads, I don't think that everything you said was necessary!

[Robert_325]

We all have messed up in our lives and made poor decisions myself included. But let's not call each other names. It's okay to point out our shortcomings and bad choices. But let's keep it as positive as we can guys.

I do AGREE though that a couple days is NOT a big price to pay. God bless.

[cheekysod]

OK SORRY FOR CALLING YOU CRAZY TRAM.

but mainly i meant if its only a day or two, to get back on and taper off properly, isnt that worth it for your kids sake.
you know its going to be really hard coming off 8mg.
no one would advise that.
really no one would.

hope it works out for you. i dont mean you are crazy, but its a crazy idea to jump. thats all. sorry for any offence. not intended.

[MaisieC]

So you left your counselor a voicemail but never heard back, and now you're hearing this from the nurse? I guess I think it might be worthwhile to try to get back in touch with your counselor and explain the situation, explain that you left the vm, and try to push to be reinstated. If you did follow through like that, it's worth checking with the counselor to find out what happened. I have learned to be very stubborn about not taking "no" for an answer if I think I'm in the right.

Also, have you explored other possibilities for getting more suboxone while you do the taper with Robert? Are there other doctors in your area who might help you?

Hang in there!

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

We all have messed up in our lives and made poor decisions myself included. But let's not call each other names. It's okay to point out our shortcomings and bad choices. But let's keep it as positive as we can guys.

I do AGREE though that a couple days is NOT a big price to pay. God bless.

I agree as well, however I can't go. If I could I would. I've been told that "they" can't watch my kids. I have no other choice.

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by cheekysod

OK SORRY FOR CALLING YOU CRAZY TRAM.

but mainly i meant if its only a day or two, to get back on and taper off properly, isnt that worth it for your kids sake.
you know its going to be really hard coming off 8mg.
no one would advise that.
really no one would.

hope it works out for you. i dont mean you are crazy, but its a crazy idea to jump. thats all. sorry for any offence. not intended.

as any mother I want what's BEST for my kids, but in this situation I don't have any other choice, but to do this. The reason I went through detox twice was so that my kids were safe, etc. But unfortunately a 3rd time isn't going to happen. As much as I would like to go, I can't!

[cheekysod]

there are always choices, only good ones and bad ones.
maisie makes a good point. get back and talk to those counsellors and tell them what position you are in. you have kids, and no way to go to detox. tell them that stopping cold turkey off 8 is a recipe for disaster and they should try and help you not stuff you right up.
you have everything to gain, and nothing to lose, by trying.
if i was you i would be on that phone trying every option except the cold turkey, your kids are gonna suffer while you are in withdrawls arent they.
sorry to sound so blunt, but it sounds like a bad choice you are making.

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by MaisieC

So you left your counselor a voicemail but never heard back, and now you're hearing this from the nurse? I guess I think it might be worthwhile to try to get back in touch with your counselor and explain the situation, explain that you left the vm, and try to push to be reinstated. If you did follow through like that, it's worth checking with the counselor to find out what happened. I have learned to be very stubborn about not taking "no" for an answer if I think I'm in the right.

Also, have you explored other possibilities for getting more suboxone while you do the taper with Robert? Are there other doctors in your area who might help you?

Hang in there!

I am calling my counselor and nurse tommorrow. Also, I only have Suboxone left for my morning dose, so there is no point in finding another doctor, when the earliest I could get in is 2 weeks, I don't see any sense in being off the Subs for that long, then going back on. I'm not even sure that's an option. But thanks for commenting. And I will do my best to hang in there!

[cheekysod]

seriously, if you only have one left, and thats the road you want to go. would you not be better to cut it into quarters so at least you have a tiny taper, rather than going straight off the 8mg.
just a thought.
many minds can sometimes help.

[disk818]

i know how your feeling . This is what you do Go to suboxone.com and check other doctors in your area explain the situation to them . This same type of situation happen to me. So i found an doc on there called him and got me right in. I would take 2 mg and hold out as long as you can till you take another dose. You should do it now call everyone in your area there is a search on that site with phone numbers. Ill pray for you

and BY THE WAY people who havent had withdrwal and opiate addiction have no idea what its like and how it affects everything in your life everything !!! So dont even comment..... god bless you

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by disk818

i know how your feeling . This is what you do Go to suboxone.com and check other doctors in your area explain the situation to them . This same type of situation happen to me. So i found an doc on there called him and got me right in. I would take 2 mg and hold out as long as you can till you take another dose. You should do it now call everyone in your area there is a search on that site with phone numbers. Ill pray for you

and BY THE WAY people who havent had withdrwal and opiate addiction have no idea what its like and how it affects everything in your life everything !!! So dont even comment..... god bless you

Thanks for the support Disk818

[cheekysod]

hey trams, how are you doing.
I am on your side in case you think im not. i have been where you are, only it was on methadone. its awful, thats why i was trying to say dont do it. dont jump. sounds like the last poster had some good ideas. go for it.
i really hope you can get something sorted, i dont think its fair, is it even legal to let someone go off on that dose.?
wish you all the luck so you dont have to go cold turkey,

from a fellow addict who HAS been there. too many times. I am on the last stage of subs. 1.5mg.

good luck pal

[tired2]

Wow I couldn't imagine jumping off 8mg c/t not to mention how any one in the medical professional could even force someone to jump off. I would definitely get hold of your counselor and explain the situation, explain that you left the voice mail. I wouldn't give up .Then in the mean time look up sub doctors in your area. Worst case scenario go to the emergency room and maybe you could get enough subs till you see a doctor.

I know how hard it can be to get others to watch someones children. It's been years but when I got divorced it was so hard and that was just so I could go to work . I'd watch them if you lived near me . I hate to see anyone suffer.I see you live in Il. I also live in Il.
I don't know your situation but what about the childrens father could he possible be able to take the children or even a babysitter if it's for only for two days. Just a thought.
Well I hope you will be able to get some help my prayer are with you.
Pam

[no_more_tram]

Ok so Day 1 is coming to an end. I have felt OK. I know that the Suboxone isn't quite out of me yet and that possibly tommorrow I could be worse. I have been pretty tired today, a bit of irritation, and some downness, but I already suffer from depression so that probably has something to do with it. I am going to take a Valium in a minute just incase I have a rough night, I need any sleep I can get.

Other that that, I went to Church tonight(as I do every Saturday) and prayed to God that he would give me some Strength to ge through this. I know it's not over, but One day clean makes me Happy

[no_more_tram]

Still doing ok, better than I thought. I am sleeping just fine. I noticed a bit more pain in my back which was injured 3 yrs. ago, but it's not anything that I can't handle. I took a much needed nap today. I am still feeling more tired than normal, but that's expected! I'm acutally quite surprised that nothing terrible has hit me yet. Maybe tommorrow will be that day, but let's hope not. If I can continue to stay as well as I feel at the moment, then I know for a fact that I can do this, staying clean.

I have a lot of work ahead to still do, and things I want to accomplish. But it's important to not rush and try to do things all at once. Taking it a Day at a Time. So we are coming to an end of Day 2. Another day Clean. Yay for me!!

Also, last night and tonight I have taking some Valium, which I do not plan on using for more than a week. I don't think I even have enough to last that long anyhow. So that's good. Please keep me in your prayers

[MaisieC]

I'm trying to remember...didn't you have this experience before, coming off a relatively high dose and not having bad withdrawals? If so, maybe you're one of the very lucky few....

Are you attending NA meetings or any other kind of support group?

Take care,
Maisie

[no_more_tram]

I am suprisingly doing well, barely feeling any withdrawals. I am now able to have better bowel movements, due to the Suboxone binding me up

I am however feeling more worn down, but I am taking naps and trying to go to bed as soon as I can.

So...It's been 72 hours since my last dose, so I would think that it's close to being out of my system. I don't wanna jinx myself, but I am hoping that I am able to stay how I'm feeling. Luckily I was only on the Suboxone for 18 days. I think that had a great deal as to why I am not feeling Horrible.

I am feeling my pain more, and it's a bit annoying, but I REFUSE to let that get me down, or to relapse. It's not the kind of pain that I can't deal with, but of course always being under the influence of a pain medicine, my pain level was a 1. I would say at it's worst my pain is a level 4.

I plan on getting back into some kind of exercise regimen, even if I start walking on my treadmill for 20 minutes...at least it's something.

Well, I am off to bed to get a good night's rest. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend

[no_more_tram]

I am suprisingly doing well, barely feeling any withdrawals. I am now able to have better bowel movements, due to the Suboxone binding me up

I am however feeling more worn down, but I am taking naps and trying to go to bed as soon as I can.

So...It's been 72 hours since my last dose, so I would think that it's close to being out of my system. I don't wanna jinx myself, but I am hoping that I am able to stay how I'm feeling. Luckily I was only on the Suboxone for 18 days. I think that had a great deal as to why I am not feeling Horrible.

I am feeling my pain more, and it's a bit annoying, but I REFUSE to let that get me down, or to relapse. It's not the kind of pain that I can't deal with, but of course always being under the influence of a pain medicine, my pain level was a 1. I would say at it's worst my pain is a level 4.

I plan on getting back into some kind of exercise regimen, even if I start walking on my treadmill for 20 minutes...at least it's something.

Well, I am off to bed to get a good night's rest. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend

[NikNak1]

Hi there no more tram. I read your story and I'm praying for you. It's tough when you have little ones. Good luck, stay strong. Rooting for you here.

[melinda7.5]

Hi nomoretram
I'm really happy for you, that is great your doing so well...
you are going to be a inspiration to so many people...
keep us posted on how it is going...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[no_more_tram]

Still making it, woke of this morning with a terrible tummy ache, it's much better now so I think it may have had something to do with what I ate or that it's getting close to "that time of the month". I am feeling a bit more of the cold sweats, it is however very mild, but I can tell it's there.

Took another nap today, and since my tummy was hurting most of the day my mom fed my kids dinner, bathed them, and spent some time playing with them. That I am SO greatful for

All I have left to do tonight is put them to bed, which in about 15 minutes I am going to lay my 2 year old down,then at 8 it's my 5 yr.olds turn. I might even go to bed then to, if not I'll be around the forum later.

I am PROUD to say that I am 4 days clean!! Yay go me

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by NikNak1

Hi there no more tram. I read your story and I'm praying for you. It's tough when you have little ones. Good luck, stay strong. Rooting for you here.

Thanks so much, makes me happy to have a rsponse like yours. I appreciate it tons.

[trashid]

no_more_tram so good to see that you are dedicated to staying clean...This documentary opened my eyes...hope it does the same for you..

http://current.com/vanguard-journalism/

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi nomoretram
I'm really happy for you, that is great your doing so well...
you are going to be a inspiration to so many people...
keep us posted on how it is going...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

Melinda, Hello and thank you for responding, I noticed that you had responded to my other thread as well, you said Robert made you an awesome dinner, it's always nice when your man can cook, You sure have a GREAT one.

I know that you had surgery awhile back, how are you doing as of now? It's nice to hear that although you had to take those nasty pain meds to get by, that you did it the RIGHT way. That's great!!

[no_more_tram]

Originally Posted by trashid

no_more_tram so good to see that you are dedicated to staying clean...This documentary opened my eyes...hope it does the same for you..

http://current.com/vanguard-journalism/

WOW, I just watched it! IT's so sad that the world has so much addiction. It makes me so unbelievable nervous, scared, and worried when my children get older, since I have had such a Bad addiction. My boys both have different dads, and my 2 yr. olds dad is an alcholic. His dad died from drinking. So with the both of us having to go through addiction, there's that huge chance so will he. And actually I found out about 2 months ago that my 5 yr. old's dad got into a car wreck from being drunk, and almost didn't survive. And when we were together he never even touched a drink, couldn't even stand to look at any kind of liquor. So now both of my kids have both parents that have been through such hell. Anyhow, thanks for posting that, and continue to post it to others.