[batss]

ok ima make this fast cos i already posted most of this ******** somewhere else and someone said put it here too. ok long story short -
im on heroin/coke speedballs, doing heroin for five years. turning 21 this month.
i took subutex but i might have taken it too soon. or it might have jst been too much drugs before the sub. anyway i went into prec. withdrawals for about 3 days. that made me scared of the drug earlier and now reading about ppl being addicted to sub, its making me think i def do NOT want to be on this ********. i need advice on how to do this. ill give my schedule.

doctor says 16 mg a day but i didnt really believe him and with the w/ds i ended up with.

day 1 4 mg
day 2 8 mg
day 3 12 mg
day 4 10 mg
day 5 6 mg
day 6 4 mg
day 7 none so far
day 8


am i tapering this right? wtfux

[batss]

thanks in advance to robert for your swift reply. the person on the other thread told me about you

[melinda7.5]

Hi batss
I'm not Robert,but it's late where he is and He goes to church in the morning.
I'm not a sub expert, But I know your doing it wrong, if you go to feature drugs and look at Roberts sticky page called suboxone/subutex therapy I think it's second to the top.you can get an idea how to get stable on the sub meds.
I'm sure Robert will be on in the morning before he goes to church..
talk to you later, Melinda

[batss]

i know im not doing it by the book. but i decided today - day 7 - im taking 1 mg of sub today. so....doing it by the book (slow taper) isnt gonna work cos i would be breaking rule number one. when trying to quit something, doing more isnt gonna get you there. if i can be stable on 1 mg then im gonna continue with this quick taper from here rather than trying to up my dose and do it the way im supposed to. no need to drag it out if i dont have to, right? i could be wrong. feedback plx

and i put more info here if anyone wants to reply there ill check both
http://www.topix.com/forum/drug/oxyc...D/p11#lastPost

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by batss

i know im not doing it by the book. but i decided today - day 7 - im taking 1 mg of sub today. so....doing it by the book (slow taper) isnt gonna work cos i would be breaking rule number one. when trying to quit something, doing more isnt gonna get you there. if i can be stable on 1 mg then im gonna continue with this quick taper from here rather than trying to up my dose and do it the way im supposed to. no need to drag it out if i dont have to, right? i could be wrong. feedback plx

and i put more info here if anyone wants to reply there ill check both
http://www.topix.com/forum/drug/oxyc...D/p11#lastPost

I'm real sorry I just don't know about the subs,I know Robert will be on in the morning and help you or Musicman can help you also.
I know there is a real trick to this because of the long half life of the subs.
How are you feeling on the one mg...If you don't mind me asking...

Melinda

[batss]

honestly im very surprised and glad i took my doctors advice with a grain of salt. he keeps telling me my dose is too low and i need to increase it. 5 years of about a gram a day heroin/cocaine was what i had to kick. even when taking the sub i went into w/ds which i can understand cos it just doesnt compare, its so weak.

so to answer your question. the sub did not do ******** to me the first 3 days, i was in withdrawals even with it. but im glad i didnt up my dose in those days like my dr wanted me to. cos a week ago i was shooting up ten speedballs a day and today im taking 1 mg of sub and i feel fine surprisingly. trouble sleeping yea. i sleep but i wake up constantly and its not restful. but i mean, considering the circumstances, im amazed at how well im doing on 1 mg of sub compared to where i was. (although by my calculations i do have like 7 mg of sub in me so we'll see how it goes in the next few days)

[aam165]

Hey Batss, figured id weigh in, take my advice with a grain of salt...i was on oxys for somewhere between 6-8 years, i don't truly know when i came dependent...i went to a sub doctor and got duped, i was on 24 mg for over 6 months i think its all a racket, they just want your money

again, im not an expert, but the w/d u experienced may have been precipitated by the fact that you still had the opiates attached to your brain receptors and the sub rips it all out immediately...anyways, i was stuck on sub for a year and a half, i got my own dose down to 16 mg...just hang tight until Robert gets here, he'll give u the drill...just hang in there, no sense in rushing things, seeing that our addictions weren't rushed, but rather dragged out over long periods of time....you can read my thread if you want, theres a lot a great people out there. i was a real jerk my first few days (some on these threads may say weeks) Im going through the no sleep thing right now, its rough, but knowing that im working on my 5th day clean strengthens me...like robert said, lack of sleep won't kill us (consider reason with that statement, a week of no sleep will obviously not be a good thing), but drug use will...you're nothing but a pup at your age, i wish i got clean back then...snatch this opportunity while you can...cheering you on

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by batss

ok ima make this fast cos i already posted most of this ******** somewhere else and someone said put it here too. ok long story short -
im on heroin/coke speedballs, doing heroin for five years. turning 21 this month.
i took subutex but i might have taken it too soon. or it might have jst been too much drugs before the sub. anyway i went into prec. withdrawals for about 3 days. that made me scared of the drug earlier and now reading about ppl being addicted to sub, its making me think i def do NOT want to be on this ********. i need advice on how to do this. ill give my schedule.

doctor says 16 mg a day but i didnt really believe him and with the w/ds i ended up with.

day 1 4 mg
day 2 8 mg
day 3 12 mg
day 4 10 mg
day 5 6 mg
day 6 4 mg
day 7 none so far
day 8


am i tapering this right? wtfux

Jumping off at 4mg makes no sense whatsoever. Why even bother with using the subs if you're going to do that? Quite honestly you're asking for advice but then saying you're not going to do this except the way you want to do it. I suggest you read the following link ... it's my post on using sub properly. If you want my help I will be happy to do so but your taper plan will do nothing but leave you suffering bad w/d symptoms. You WON'T get addicted to sub using it the way I suggest in this link. God bless.


http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

[mitchigan]

After five years of heroin use you really can't expect to be drug free in a week. Highly recommend you follow Roberts advice on the sub. No way is your program going to work. Basically you're setting yourself up for a really bad cold turkey (which probably isn't going to work). Really you're just wasting your $ on sub using it with your plan. If you do a little research you'll see you need a dosage which will make you stable and then work a plan. I'm no expert on sub, but I am on drugs...lol. I fear with your current approach it's only a matter of time before you go looking for your spoon. I suspect you are already feeling terrible!
Hope we don't lose you.....

[k12311997]

Originally Posted by batss

ok ima make this fast cos i already posted most of this ******** somewhere else and someone said put it here too. ok long story short -
im on heroin/coke speedballs, doing heroin for five years. turning 21 this month.
i took subutex but i might have taken it too soon. or it might have jst been too much drugs before the sub. anyway i went into prec. withdrawals for about 3 days. that made me scared of the drug earlier and now reading about ppl being addicted to sub, its making me think i def do NOT want to be on this ********. i need advice on how to do this. ill give my schedule.

doctor says 16 mg a day but i didnt really believe him and with the w/ds i ended up with.

day 1 4 mg
day 2 8 mg
day 3 12 mg
day 4 10 mg
day 5 6 mg
day 6 4 mg
day 7 none so far
day 8


am i tapering this right? wtfux

I know nothing about heroin addiction, but I do know you are in no position to "not believe" your doctor. Did you ask the doctor your question? Did you seek a second opinion from another doc? Your asking medical advice from the faceless and typicaly clueless masses on the internet.

I really hope there are Doctor posters here that can help you out. Good luck.

[batss]

didnt have time to post it here but i posted it on teh other website topix. my doctor seems like a quack and it seems like hes giving me the same treatment that i got while trying to quit using methadone. both places told me to up my dose and try to get me addicted. he keeps telling me to go to 16 mg a day. but i took 1 mg yday. i know i need to stabalize or w/e b/c even though i took only 1 mg yday my dose was much higher (around 7 mg yday) bc of past dosing and half lifes. but i dont want to go back up. would it be a good idea to just stay at 1 mg til my total comes down to around 2 mg?

[batss]

and when did i say i wasnt gonna follow any advice? o.O i just dont see the point in UPPING my dose when im trying to get clean and im dealing just fine at this dose. how long would you want to mess with another opiate after youve been ********ing with one for five years (uncontrollably). i feel like it isnt much of a step for me to get right back addicted. SO. here i am at under 4 mg. the guide didnt go that far. any suggestions?

[Robert_325]

I say taper 25% of your dose every four days all the way down to .5mg, then you begin skipping days...one day then .5mg, skip two days and take .5mg, skip three days and you could be past the original opiate detox totally by that time. That method results in no w/d symptoms and a successful detox.

If you want to detox faster than that I can't tell you what to do. I only suggest what I know will work. I won't intentionally set you up for a relapse. It's unrealistic to think you'll be done with this in a week after years of heroin abuse. Perhaps you will but it doesn't work that way for most people. That is a fact. And it's really unnecessary to use such vile language on this forum discussing getting clean thank you. God bless.

[batss]

im not in a super rush, just afraid of getting re-addicted to something else as i have an addictive personality. im gonna try what you suggest robert, i really hope it works. i just really wanted a rigid plan to stick to instead of winging it. so thank you for that robert. and sorry about the language, its not intentional. its just the way i think, the way i speak, and therefore the way i type. so robert, do you think this is a good idea?

today - wednesday : stay on my 1 mg dose to give my levels a chance to lower with the long half life
thursday - sunday : try to use .5 mg
monday : nothing
tues : .5 mg
wed & thur : nothing
friday : .5 mg

and should i keep you updated every day or what? should i tell you if i relapse? thanks for everything, you can call me anthony if you want. my gf's name is saviera, im gonna try to make her make her own account on here.

wish me luck,
anthony batsy

[batss]

ill listen to anyones input btw, you dont have to be robert to answer xD. musicman i hear also knows a lot. id like to hear as much feedback as possible so i can get a handle on what to do.

thanks to anyone for input =]

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by batss

ill listen to anyones input btw, you dont have to be robert to answer xD. musicman i hear also knows a lot. id like to hear as much feedback as possible so i can get a handle on what to do.

thanks to anyone for input =]

If you want to try it like you describe that is fine. The thing is that still is MUCH more aggressive than the way I suggest doing it. If you have w/d symptoms you have two choices ... either tough it out or take a piece to make them go away. I can't say your plan won't work it's just not the way I recommend. So it's difficult for me to say yes it's ok, or check in daily because you're not doing what I suggest. I don't know how much help I can be if you insist on doing this your way. Don't know what else to tell you. God bless.

[batss]

i dont understand, i used your advice to make this plan yet you still say im trying to do it my own way which isnt what i want to do. i hate to admit it but if i were to do everything exactly the way i want to i would fail at a lot of it. the thing about lowering 25% every four days is hard. i only have 8 mg pills. lowering from 1 mg to .75 mg is gonna be hard for me to break them like that. i could do it like this, would it be better?

four days - 1 mg
day 5 - .5 mg
6 - 1 mg
7 - .5 mg
8 - 1 mg
etc etc

would that average out to .75 mg a day til i get comfortable enough to just take .5 mg? plz dont give up on me man, im trying and i need help i think.

take care,
anthony

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by batss

i dont understand, i used your advice to make this plan yet you still say im trying to do it my own way which isnt what i want to do. i hate to admit it but if i were to do everything exactly the way i want to i would fail at a lot of it. the thing about lowering 25% every four days is hard. i only have 8 mg pills. lowering from 1 mg to .75 mg is gonna be hard for me to break them like that. i could do it like this, would it be better?

four days - 1 mg
day 5 - .5 mg
6 - 1 mg
7 - .5 mg
8 - 1 mg
etc etc

would that average out to .75 mg a day til i get comfortable enough to just take .5 mg? plz dont give up on me man, im trying and i need help i think.

take care,
anthony

Anthony ... don't take what I'm saying the wrong way. I'm not trying to give up on you. But you have to understand that I don't have any control over how many pills you have access to. Perhaps you don't have enough to do this the right way and you've got to do it the best way you can. If that's the case so be it. But as far as cutting the pills up into strange amounts of mgs like 1mg to .75mg there is nothing hard about that. You get a single-edged razor and you cut an 8mg pill into quarters. Then you take one of the quarters and slice a little less than half off. That will be right at .75mg. I'm just telling you what will work. Then save the pieces you shave off for a later dose.

NO ... sorry but I don't think you should take .5mg then go up to 1mg then back to .5mg then back to 1mg etc. That messes up your system. You don't ever get acclimated to anything. Your brain has NO idea what you are doing to yourself when you do it like that. You need a consistent dose taken at the exact same time each day until you reduce again by 25%. That is what works.

You may need to score some more subs, just as few as it takes, but if you don't do this like I say I can almost promise you that you will have problems. When you get down to these doses under 4mg and you start dropping by too much you'll get sick I can almost guarantee it. That's why we tell people to get with us when the dose gets low. That is when you need to be watched more closely.

Hope that helps you understand why I am so hard headed about how you do this. I just want to see you do it correctly so you don't have w/d symptoms. Otherwise reduce your dose by 1mg each day until you run out of subs and tough it out the rest of the way. That's the only other thing I know to suggest if you can't get more suboxone. God bless.

[batss]

i thought i already said that my sub supply isnt a prob right now, but it might have been on the other forum. i have about 2 subutex left and about 17-18 suboxone left. i have a 15 pill script that i havent picked up yet and scripts for 60 more 8 mg pills that i havent dropped off, just sitting on my desk. if i break an 8 mg pill into quarters, that would be a 2 mg piece. so wouldnt i have to shave off a little more than half, rather than a little less than half? and then i would have another piece that is 1.25 mg. what do i do with this piece? @_@ if i break it in half it wont be .75 mg =/ i wish i had those 2 mg pills but my doctor insists i need more.

i think you are definitely right about getting a razor though. i tried to break a subutex into a small portion a while ago and the part i tried to break off just turned to dust in my fingers.

i really appreciate your time robert, and everyone else that has helped me. im starting to feel more normal. physically, i have changed a little over the past few days, but nothing compared to how much ive changed mentally. i dont know if you can even tell the difference in my day to day posting xD. i was even way edgier on the other forum when i was just first starting this process. im starting to get more confidence that i can do this, and that i might even have a chance at a normal life. only time will tell. but this is an important time in my life, and im glad i dont have to figure it out all on my own. wish me luck robert. im going to stay at my 1 mg for now and take it at night like i usually do. ill keep you updated everyday, it makes it a lot easier for me, though you dont have to reply all the time if you dont want to. i understand you do have a life. im gonna try to make some .75 mg pills for when i decide to go lower, i think in a few days.

sincerely anthony

ps. my gf is doing the exact same sub program as i am. it should be the same for both of us right? does gender and weight etc affect our programs differently?

[Robert_325]

You and your girlfriend can both do this the same way. Gender is not a critical factor. Reactions to the medication are what we base our suggestions on. And you've got to use a razor or all the pills will turn to powder. God bless.

[batss]

so does that mean im finally on track? if i follow the plan? i mean we.

[lilly555]

Originally Posted by batss

so does that mean im finally on track? if i follow the plan? i mean we.

hi batss....i just wanted to send you good wishes on your fight...i too wish i had tried to get clean years ago and for you to even admit you have a problem and want to get better is incredible! I want you to make it and please keep trying...there are a lot of people here who will support you and i am one of them.....
i have a 21 year old son who has been thru' some challenges w/ drugs as well and i have always stood by him too...
you have your whole life ahead of you.... just waiting for you to be happy and healthy...
and you seem to be a very intelligent and driven guy who wants to do this very badly, so i hope you continue this fight and remember there are many others just like you and we all are committed to supporting and encouraging each other....hang in there...
also, keep listening to robert; he has helped me immensely in just the past few weeks, after a wasted lifetime of my own addiction...

peace, lilly

[batss]

thank you so much lily. its nice to hear some encouraging words <3. i'll try not to let you down. i really wish i had a parent like you. when my mum and stepdad found out i was an addict, they had me arrested one night and then disowned me. i withdrawled in jail, and made a deal with a detective to turn in my dealers just so i could get out. i happened to get arrested in the only county in california that offers no detox options other than cold turkey. needless to say i did not turn my dealers in as it was not their fault i was arrested. all that i ended up with were a few felony warrants that make it hard to find jobs. i understand that they felt that had to do something, but these felonies are going to make my life more difficult. im turning 21 this month and i refuse to spend another entire year of my life on heroin. ive been high every birthday since i was like 16 but not this time. =] ill keep you updated. even if i relapse i wont disappear. ill be back here trying to continue my road to an addiction free lifestyle. well not completely xD. im not gonna try to quit smoking til i deal with my drugs. THANK YOU LILY ILU

sincerely
anthony

[batss]

Originally Posted by lilly555

after a wasted lifetime of my own addiction...

peace, lilly

its never too late to turn it around! and you didnt waste your life. you have a son who you support and love and thats more than i ever had from my parent. thats gotta be worth something. to me life is about loving and being loved. if you have that, theres nothing better. thanks again for the encouragement, it means a lot more than you think

[mitchigan]

Congratulations!!! You sound so much better. You really sound as if you have a real desire to get things under control! I find it amazing that you can being do as well as you are. I can appreciate the pain you've endured to get to this point. You've bitten off a pretty big chunk, but with determination and support you can do this. You must be pretty tough to go from where you were to where you are, that will be a real asset down the road. Wishing you and your girlfreind the best of luck...hang in there!

[Missfortune]

See, i knew you would change your mind about things once you got on track.You definatly dont want to go up and down on doses that will make you feel weird,i can tell you that much.I was all crazy on my dosing and once i started taking the same amount at the same time during the day ive felt better than i ever have, even when i was taking other things.
I really wouldnt be too worried about becoming addicted just worry about getting better first.Soon you will realize its been like 8-10 hours since you actually took something.Thats the part when i get really excited and proud.

Im actually smoking less now that im off opiates and am definatly not even thinking about quitting until i feel ready.

Hang in there....the best has yet to come.
Robert is the best when it comes to this, just follow what he says and you should be fine.(im sure your doctor is wacky like mine.lol.)
Best wishes!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by batss

so does that mean im finally on track? if i follow the plan? i mean we.

You guys are definitely closer to being on track than the first day or so when you were freaking out raising hell with everyone on here on threads all over the forum. You will both do just fine if you go along with me like you're trying to do now.

You're right that it's never too late to do this. I was in my 50s after starting getting high SERIOUSLY in 1968. I was in middle school and I never missed a day stoned that I remember for well over 35 years. So it's NEVER too late to change our lives for the better.

I was the worst when I started trying to get clean. I was a total ass to everyone telling people they knew no where near as much as I did as I had the worst addiction problem from everyone and no one could understand what I was going through. When I finally realized everyone knew what I was experiencing and began listening a little lots of things changed for me.

You and your gf will be fine. Just don't deviate from the program we suggest and you'll do fine. You've both started doing so much better now. I'm proud of you guys. God bless.

[lilly555]

Originally Posted by batss

its never too late to turn it around! and you didnt waste your life. you have a son who you support and love and thats more than i ever had from my parent. thats gotta be worth something. to me life is about loving and being loved. if you have that, theres nothing better. thanks again for the encouragement, it means a lot more than you think

Hi anthony ( and anyone else this might help)....hope you're doing a little better today...i wanted to tell you how much i appreciated your generous and kind words, especially when you said i didn't waste my life, cuz a part of me knows that's true. but when i'm in my remorse/shame mode (still working thru' that stuff) that's when i feel like that, but not all the time, nevertheless, it still made me feel supported, so thank you....
my heart ached for you...feeling and knowing your pain of the loss of a parents support, understanding or love...i know it all too well...
sounds like we have some similarities; be they w/ my son or even my own turbulent teenage years; however, it was this exact period of estrangement from my parents, that changed me forever and is still a part of who i am today...my parents had me arrested when i was 16 (i had run away from home several times to escape an abusive step father and wanted to live w/ my older boyfriend; i had a full time job after school and at that time was only into smoking pot and wearing peasant skirts and love beads...LOL)..anyway, cuz i had technically crossed "state lines as a minor", they were able to get me arrested and thrown in JUVE....there i was, literally w/ love beads on and a bandanna around my head and all of a sudden i'm incarcerated w/ very violent kids who had stabbed or shot their parents....my parents were suppose to pick me up the next day, but decided "to teach me a lesson" and kept me there for 2 weeks; that forever changed me....not just becuz i got beat up a few times and was so scared; it was that exact lack of love/understanding from a parent that i didn't have, that hurt the most..and i became more rebellious and angry...so i feel your pain...then matters only got worse as i went thru' the court system, got assigned a probation officer who could have cared less and wouldn't believe nor help me w/ the abuse going on in my home...I vowed then and there to do something for other troubled kids, the court system, counseling,etc....long story short....many months later, my mom finally let me leave ( tho' i did have to get the courts involved and someone to sign papers away for me to eventually become emancipated, which happened close to my 17th birthday)...i went back to my old town (parents had moved away the year before; one of the other reasons why i kept running away to be back w/ my boyfriend, friends,school,job,identity, etc.), well, i got a couple more jobs, finished high school early and started college early as well; i was able to get Grant, Scholarship and Student Loans and cont' to work various jobs thru' out college, where i got my bachelors in psychology as well as working many social work jobs; runaway shelters, Big Brothers/Sisters, residential group homes and CASA, to name a few...i then moved around the country,worked for about 10 years more as a counselor at a residential treatment facility for abused kids and started my Masters, but never finished...then i got into sales/marketing, then got married in early 30's; i was sober w/ both pregnancies as well as for a few years while my kids were little.....as my marriage got bad, i turned to opiates to cope and for that "false sense of security and confidence" ( i read this exact quote somewhere else on this site and thought it was so true!)...slowly but surely, i got more and more addicted; i also had a few medical/health problems, but the fact is, i got hooked and abused these drugs and they changed me, my life and i want it back....

also i come from a long line of addicts; my gramma died from alcolohism at 57, my mom and her brother and sister have all struggled w/ alcoholism; the little i know of my biological father ( he left our life when i was 6 yrs old; his "Karma" caught up w/ him and off he went to San Quentin prison and i only saw him a few times after that and then never again after i was about 16) he was also an alcoholic..my siblings and their kids have all battled alcohol and some drugs; some worse than others....so addiction is definitly in our genes and there is enough research out there to prove this can be hereditary, tho' i'm not making excuses, just trying to understand it all....anyway, i started smoking pot around 14 and continued til my early 20's, i also experiemented w/ everything else, but luckily it was all recreational; otherwise i never would have been able to do some of the things that i was able to achieve in my late teens and 20's.. tho' i knew the first time i tried an opiate i liked it and eventually it did cause too many problems in my life....i was one of those people who thought i could just do it all recreationally; but w/ my families history and my own addictive personality, it was like playing russian roulate....anyway, i was always a pretty good student as i had a genuine desire to learn about stuff and to be creative and productive; i hung around a hippie type crowd, complete w/ peace, civil rights and women's movement marches, all when i was just 14...(also, by then my mom had moved my brother and sisters and i to live w/ my aunt, who was a college art professor and she had a profound impact/influence on my life; i guess my mentor; she always pushed me to try to learn more, exposed me to the arts, poetry, music, different cultures, and eventually pushed me to seek out college)...

that's why i took such proactive measures w/ my son when he started just smoking pot at 13...i love him unconditionally and want only the best for him and that will never change...tho' sometimes he didn't always see it that way; trust me, he does now...anyway, i was so afraid the pot would lead to other things and it did...w/in a year, he was doing much harder drugs, he went from an A student to flunking out, was never going to school, running w/ a rough crowd and started some B&E stuff and i could no longer control (much less even "ground" him, LOL)....so i used every last dime i had saved, even my retirement savings ( which is all gone) and took out loans and got him in counseling, sent him to a summer Outward Bound, then a few other programs; many that required i attend and be a part of too...he resented me so much, but i never gave up on him and always told him i would be there for him...always have....sometimes i had to use a little "tough love", but i never abandoned or rejected him and nothing he can do will ever make this happen....
Fast forward now, he graduated from a public high school and is now a junior in college on a scholarship/grant/loan package (as i could not afford to pay for college for him) and he made the Deans list....he does still smoke pot and drinks on the weekends w/ all his college friends, which i still worry about; but he knows so much more about all this addiction,recovery,our own family backgtound, etc., that i pray and hope everyday, he will keep it all in check...tho' i really will never know for sure...and at this point there is only so much i can do...he knows i am here for him, if he needs me....we are very close and we have dinner together every sunday night and sometimes hit a movie together....i am so proud of him... and my daughter too, but that's another story for another day perhaps
anyway, sorry to go on and on...i'm just hoping some of this might help you to know you're not alone in this struggle....do you have a support network at all?....i know there are a lot of counseling services who charge on a sliding scale; ability to pay; sometimes your local hospitals, colleges or counseling agencies will offer this....and any 12 step meetings can help too....AA or NA...or even just one person whom you admire and can mentor you on some level....having some goal or purpose/direction in life has helped me as well as my own son, currently.....maybe a tech or vocational school to get a good job....or just a class or two at a local jr college in something that you're interested in...it's just a thought...no pressure...
all i know is that purpose, determination and perseverance got me thru' those rough years....and for my son as well, and now i'm just hoping i will be able to draw upon those traits again to get me thru' this battle....i am having good and bad days, altho' the suboxone and valuable direction/information i'm receiving on this site, has made a huge difference for me.....i know everyone is at their own unique level of coping w/ their issues; some are more fragile, some are more tough minded and some are just in the middle... all i know is that everybody deserves to be healthy and at peace in their life... and so do you....i hope some of this helped you today in this fight...as robert posted me earlier; it truly is a "fight for life and death"...please keep trying, anthony....don't give up...i can tell you have a good heart.....i will be here if you ever need to talk or just have someone listen...
peace, lilly

[lilly555]

Originally Posted by batss

its never too late to turn it around! and you didnt waste your life. you have a son who you support and love and thats more than i ever had from my parent. thats gotta be worth something. to me life is about loving and being loved. if you have that, theres nothing better. thanks again for the encouragement, it means a lot more than you think

hi anthony..
i just got home from work and thought i would let you know i'm thinking of you....
you kind of make me think about my own son and if he hadn't had the support he had from me... and then, i think about how much harder this must be for you....so i just wanted to let you know, you have someone in your corner rooting for you....no matter the ups and downs...o.k.?
i really hope today was a good day for you....how are you doing w/ the suboxone?....
I am on day 10 and each day is getting better; and i never would have believed it, trust me....also, please do not feel at all obligated to respond to my long post....i am totally cool w/ that; just wanted you to know that you are not alone and i (or my son) am someone here who maybe you can relate too....and maybe i can help or support you.....
so keep up the fight and let me know how you are doing whenever you feel like it......
i'm off to my weekly therapy appt., but will check this site when i get home...
peace, lilly

[batss]

sorry for taking so long to reply lilly. i relapsed and i feel like i let you down. now i need to figure out what im gonna do. i took 2 mg of subs today, hoping to get back on track. any advice for me? i hope that you guys wont give up on me.