[Indelible Blue]

This is the first time that I have ever accepted that I have a problem... Um... Anyway I have had a problem for at least two years now... I am a full time student, full time employee, and newly married. Needless to say the stress and lack of sleep are sometimes intense.

I started getting these terrible migraine headaches about two years ago and the doc set me up on hydrocodone. The pain was relieved but the stress was not. I uh, this is the hard part to admit, started cutting myself to somehow take away my stress... I don't know why but it works. Anyway things are getting bad because I now use the hyrdocodone to relieve the intense pain of the cuts...

Yeesh, I must sound like a complete moron. I was just hoping someone could lend some words of encouragement, seeing as how I am totally ashamed of this behavior. I can't bring myself to talk to anyone in my family. Afraid of what they would say.

Well, that's it I guess. Thanks to those who read this.

[mpvt]

Sounds like your suffering from a compulsive disorder.Don't worry, it's more common then you know.You need to tell your Dr. and ask for a referal to see a physciatrist.The sooner the better because this problem can manifest itself into an even bigger problem.You know something is wrong and thats a big factor right there.Let us know how you make out in the meantime try and find other ways to divert your stress.........Good luck....Dave

[livid]

Cutting and other "self mutilation" is actually a pretty common thing. I understand that you wouldn't be able to talk to your family and such, but you should definitely consider talking to a mental health professional. They will not be shocked by it, as I'm sure any that you picked would have had several patients who have done the same thing. The "technical" term they use for it escapes me right now, but it's much more common than you might think.

I'd also like to say that giving an opiate based med for relief of migraines is a big mistake... this comes straight from my neurologist. Painkillers will often increase the pain when you "come down" from the opiate's effect. There's a whole different class of meds used to treat migraines, and they are NOT painkillers.

[dianab]

I have heard of this many times before and have experienced it firsthand because my daughter used to do it. She was under an extreme amount of stress and anxiety due to a horribly abusive relationship and would cut herself to let out pain so to speak. It somehow made her feel better. You need other medication for your migraines than painkillers and you need medication for your stress and anxiety which I suspect is causing the migraines in the first place. I am not a doctor, just a loving mother whose daughter went through this when she was 19 and 20. You are not alone! It is very common for people to do this, it's just that no one likes to talk about it. In the last season on MTV's Real World, there was a lovely young woman as one of the seven strangers living in the house that had the same "disorder". Don't be ashamed and seek help. The support for this is out there! Look up self mutilation on a web search you and you will find alot of info. MTV.COM was offering a site for others for awhile also. God bless and know that others are going through the same thing and they do stop! My daughter is now 30 years old and has two beautiful children of her own. She takes medication for anxiety and depression and also has Khron's Disease. I think the Khrons came from years of anxiety and stress. There is hope and I know you will seek it. You have made the first step!

DIANA

[Indelible Blue]

well, i told my wife about my problem... she freaked and went to live at her mom's. i just wanted to say thanks for the help you guys have given me. but i just don't think this is worth it anymore. i hope others who have problems like mine can find a better way to deal with things than i did.

[Polliwog]

This is the sort of problem that MUST be addressed and shared!! A Professional Health Care Provider will keep any info confidential, and you ARE protected...This is a problem not to be dealt with alone!

Health is a state of mind

[dianab]

I read your reply that your wife left you and I can't tell you how terrible I feel that she could not be more understanding of such a common problem. She needs to be informed about what this is so she can be supportive for you! Give her some time to think things out and maybe seek some information but in the meantime, seek help for yourself first and foremost. Keep communicating in this forum, there are people who care and understand here. You CAN and WILL get through this!!!!

DIANA

[kytten]

hi i just read your topic and would like to give you a little insight as to why most people "cut". most use it as a way of control, meaning that this is one thing you have control over. When you have no control in other events in your life this is a form of taking that control,being able to at least control one pain in your life. as a former "cutter" i just want to say there is help out there and no one will think any less of you for getting it. I now know better ways of dealing with my stress and pain than "cutting" i have also come to learn that life is to precious to not get help. Life is very worth getting help

[bkdaniels]

Hey Indelible Blue, how are you doing?

Anyone who has a special or chronic headache problems should write to the National Migraine Foundation for the nearest consultant. The address is 2422 West Foster Avenue, Chicago Illinois 60625.

Best wishes,

"Experience is the best teacher, but has the toughest Grades module"
Byron K. Daniels, PBT

[cms72178]

Physical pain is easier to deal with than mental. If your cut, you hurt, you bleed, you may scar but your immune system kicks in & you eventualy heal. When your pain is inside you can't fix yourself that way.This pain you feel is a disease, and like any other medical condition may require the advice/treatment of a physician. Though telling friends/family is a step you need to take some day, the wounds felt by disaproval and not understanding can be too devestating to deal with at first, as you know. I know this has been hard to handle but, there is a solution. I recommend seeing a counselor in your area (there are clinics most everywhere that will provide free or cheap treatment). Keeping it all inside will make things worse in the end. Support is out there, and confidentiallity is gauranteed by your doctor. Wish you the best.

Christie S. cms72178@yahoo.com