[erinro]

Hello everyone...

I found this website a few weeks ago and have been checking it frequently ever since. Everyones stories are inspiring, and it seems like everyone here are great to talk to and a great supoort system.

Here is my story...

I'm 24 years old and I started using opiates recreationally in 2005. I started off by taking Percocet in small doses because I liked the feeling it gave me. I never really did any hard street drugs... and I figured since people were prescribed this medicine it couldn't be that bad (boy was i wrong!). I used Percocet recreatinally for about 3 years... taking only 30 mg at night. I never used it during the day, I only took them at night as an alternative to going out and drinking in college. I would take them about 3 times a week on average.. and I never felt a withdrawl symptom. I didn't understand how people got physically dependant on these pills. There were times were I would even take them every night for a week or two straight and then take 4 days off and still felt nothing.

About a year and a half ago, I started to take the oxycodone rapid release 30mg instead of the Percocet. The Percocet would upset my stomach from the aspirin so I preferred the 30mg pill without it, and the high was way better. I would swallow one and a half of the blue pills at night to get high. Then I went on a pretty long binge and I think thats where my downfall began. I had access to large quantities and I started doing them more. I was taking them for a month straight and my tolerance increased to 2 pills instead of one and a half. I would usually swallow them ... but once in a while I would sniff them because less mgs were needed to get high. Then one day I decided to sniff a pill before work.... worst thing I could have ever done. I realized that I could go to work and function (and sometimes actually do better at my job) while I was high. So I started doing them during the day. I went about 4 months straight doing them everyday and then had my first day without anything. Thats when I felt the withdrawl. I couldn't believe it. Here I am almost a year later, I sniff anywhere from 90mg to 300mg (thats on a really bad day from morning to night) a day. I only sniff 30mg at a time still.

I've come to a point where I cant live like this anymore. I have no money because I spend it all on these blue things, and I'm always feeling tired and sick and never want to do anything but lay in bed. I need some help and support. I'm not sure where I can even begin. The problem is I work retail on 5th Avenue in NYC... so work is absolutely crazy until January. Long hours and very busy days... days there are no possible way to work through if i'm withdrawing.

I have access to suboxone... and I've taken it before on days I could not get my hands on pills. The first time I took one I thought it was a miracle drug. I've never felt so normal in my life. I thought that whenever I was ready to stop I would be just fine because of this pill. And then I found out you can get hooked on the subs and the withdrawls are jsut as bad. So by taking the subs I am just procrastinating and prolonging when I have the deal with withdrawls.

I've read the Thomas Recipe and it seems amazing, but I dont have the luxury to have a week or two off until January. I dont want to jeopardize my job. I dont want to get hooked on suboxone either. When i do take the subs I take an 1/8 or a quarter of the orange 8 mg pill and that lasts me all day.

Can somebody give me some advice on what the best way for to kick this habit is? How bad will my withdrawls actually be? Because I know there are people out there who do a lot more than i do ... on average i probably do 4 or 5 pills a day ... so 120 - 150mg a day. I can't take off of work... so is there any method that I dont need to be in bed crawling out of my skin? Can I go to work while on the Thomas Recipe or will i still be too weak and will the withdrawls still be too unbearable (I have to be on my feet for at least 8 hrs a day).

I need some advice and help... and from what I read this is the place to get it.

Thank you and look forward to hearing some feedback...

[RubyDean]

There is no easy way to get off opiates. Everything has been tried, and that is just a reality. You can think of all sorts of combo, suppliment, schedule plans, and it is all the same reality. You can NOT do the cold turkey thomas recipe and work, not unless you work from home in your bed. Not to scare you, but it is hard to get clean, and even harder to stay clean. You can do suboxone and work a strong taper plan, and it will minimize the ill effects of opiate detox, but you have to make up your mind to do it. Meaning, you can't be rewarding yourself on day 4 with an oxy blast. Doesn't work that way. You can either taper down as low as possible on your drug of choice and cold turkey, thomas recipe it for 5 days...OR get on suboxone, and do your research, and stick to a short taper plan. There is plenty of experience, strength, and hope around here. But like I said, you are an addict. Getting clean, and staying clean are 2 different things. All the best.