[happies]

Hey everyone,

Im brand spankin new to this site. I came across it when searching info on what pills where what when randomly given to me a year ago. sorry this is a bit long but please be patient.

My issue, quick background. When i had my wisdom teeth pulled out when i was in my early twenties the doc gave me percocet and since then i loved them. all though i wasnt fully addicted... yet... i still took them periodically when given access. I didnt not buy from dealers, just friends would randomly give me some. nothing major.

9 years later i shattered my thumb pretty bad. The doctor loaded me up with percs and hydrocodone. i noticed i had to increase my dosage cause they werent working as well. after i ran out of afew precriptions the doc gave me i noticed i needed them to function. to not ache, and keep me in good mood but i noticed at the same time they altered my moods really bad leading to partially the break up of my ex. I strayed clear of them consistently and only used them casually but wasnt dependant on them anymore. then i met a girl around june of 08 that loved pain pills and we started dating and to make me happy she kept loading me with pills for about 4 - 5 months consistently. she went to jail for some bs crime and i had no choice to stop cold turkey but that lasted about only a month.

Now before i never purchased them, were only prescribed or given. not perchasing them made me feel like i didnt have a problem. well my thumb injury flared up and was in need of meds but the doctor wont give me any anymore cause i think she figured i was addicted so i started buying them. from January of this year up to recently i was taking 8 to 14 percocet 10mg or 10mg hydro's. which ever i could get my hands on. so i met a new girl in january of this year. she new i took them but she knew i was in pain so she didnt say anything. after a couple months of dating she noticed my moods were starting to be like a rollar coaster. i would try to cut cold turkey like i did the last time but the back ache, depression and crave was too strong. i wanted that high to be happy and function better at work. It got to the point where i felt that i was a better worker on them then off. I work in a very busy office environment where my motor skills are very important! well this girl is my life and future wife so i dont wanna lose her so i started weaning them down. then.....

just over a month ago i severely burned my arm so back on the pain killers. i was going through 50 percocets one week and then 50 hydros another. It was so easy to convince the doc to give me meds cause my burn was bad. Last week, i knew i wanted to start weaning off of them cause i couldnt keep doing this with my moods and lose the girl of my dreams. last thursday was her birthday and i blew up on her for absolutely nothing making her cry ON HER BIRTHDAY! then i realized, this has to stop!

DIARY:

05-27-09 - i cut down from my normal dose of 50mg hydros a day down to 20mg. saturday morning started with the worst withdrawls i ever had. i was throwing up, shakes, sweats. you name it! i couldnt handle it so i popped the last 3 hydrocodone 10's i had. felt alittle better but knew that was gonna have to be it.

05-31-09 - im all out and my back ache is insane! tried suckin it up by sleeping and drinkin afew beers. then went to a movie with my girl and when we got out, back pain was again insane with joints killing me and easy irritibility and quietness. My girl knows i have a problem but is supportive because she knows my thumb and burn injury are severe. later in the evening she started complaining of bad menstural cramps so i asked her if she wanted me to find her something. she agreed. so i made my calls and found some Tramadol for a real cheap price. read up on it not really liking the risk of seizures so i declined the offer. checked with other friends that i got Hyrdro 10's from before and had no luck late on a sunday night. although i had intentions on giving her some for her pain but mostly to cope with mine.

later that night - didnt find any, had the sweats and popped a muscle relaxer for the back pain. had a horrible nights sleep.

06-01-09 - woke up feeling exausted, aching everywhere and knowing its gonna be a long ********py day at work. got to work and texted my contacts. no luck. i still had the option of Tramadol but i try to stick with what my body knows and is used to so i declined again. so here i am 10:45am, been at work almost 4 hours now. took some Ibuprofen that helped very little. a co worker that has gone through my same issue gave me half a hydro 7.5. I have it sitting in my pocket. a part of me wants to crush it up and snfff but another just wants to toss it out. ive been taking tons of vitamins as i do normally any way and drink alot of fluids.

point of story is, i did a google search this morning to find how long these withdrawl symptons will last because my last two relapses were diffeerent. one was longer or shorter than the other. then i found this forum and read one of the addiction articles from a member and realized wow. im going through the same thing so here i am. i read about the Toms recipe or whatever his name is. Im pretty low on funds right now and dont have the time to get the items. ive always been a strong person and never had a addiction problem and am ashamed of myself. i would rather suffer the withdrawls and be in alot of pain now so i learn my lesson. Problem is i have to have surgery on my thumb again end of summer and dont want to go throught this again...

I guess im writing this to vent and get feedback and support. i would appreciate anything you all can give me. thanks for your time!

[Robert_325]

You've got a few days behind you now. You can do this. If you hang in there for a few more days the worst of this will be behind you. We can deal with the surgery when it gets here. Hang on for a few more days and you'll start feeling like a new person.

I would pitch that 1/2 pill. It won't do anything but prolong the w/d symptoms, 1/2 pill isn't going to make you feel good. You know that! Get rid of it, keep posting, let us know how you're doing. The worst of it is almost behind you. God bless.

[happies]

im trying. that half is sounding really nice right now. I cant seem to drag myself to get up and move around from the office. usually i go to my gym for lunch time but am afraid the weight lifting is going to make me in more pain. i know you may say to stay away from the gym and heavy lifting till the effects leave but im taking a supplement that for max results i need to go often. I talked to my girl about how im feeling this morning and she said she loves me and is here for me. its not just me that i want to quit this but its for her too. i do alot of active outdoor activities like ATV racing, snowboarding etc. so im always in some sort of pain and thats why i loved the pills. i forgot to mention that last year and even beginning of this year i would beg my dad to fill his scripts for me. he has alot of back, and leg issues as well as diabetes. I feel so bad!

ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im so used to pills in my daily routine. even when im off on the weekends. i get up, eat, take a shower and pop a couple to get my day started. during the week. afew in the morning, then afew at lunch, then afew afternoon. Its become like a daily vitamin for me!

[Robert_325]

I would NEVER say to stay away from the gym. That would actually be some of the BEST medicine there is for opiate detox. Your body stops producing endorphines while we take opiates. Exercise helps to stimulate natural endorphine production and it will help you. Go to the gym and get after it! You may end up a little sore but it will help you more than anything you can do I guarantee! Go work out and then tell me that you don't feel better!

I played competitive racquetball for over 25 years. I know all about pain from sports. Exercise can save you at this time. God bless.

[happies]

if i can get my hands on some suboxen, how do i take it and for how much. its not through a doctor. i dont have a primary care physician and i have enough med bills as it is!

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by happies

if i can get my hands on some suboxen, how do i take it and for how much. its not through a doctor. i dont have a primary care physician and i have enough med bills as it is!

We work with people every day here on suboxone. Thing is you're almost past the worst of the w/d symptoms now. I think it would be a mistake for you to start subs when you've got some time clean already.

Let me know what you decide to do, I can help you either way. Just want to emphasize again that subs really shouldn't be necessary I don't think. If you choose to go with them I can help you. Here is a link for subs. God bless.

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

[happies]

thanks robert! i really appreciate it. i just want to be normal again. its crazy my girl fell in love with me while on meds. now off of them, i know shes gonna fall even harder cause im a very fun outgoing person.

so about suboxone. i have a friend that is a big time addict where she wants to quit herself but isnt ready. she has one 8mg suboxone to give me. she said your supposed to take 2mg at a time so i would have to quarter the pill. she said to take it before sleep and i will wake up feeling normal. is this accurate? please help.

I caved in after the gym just now and took that half so i feel like i gotta start over. :-(

[Robert_325]

One suboxone would do NOTHING for you. Your friend doesn't know how suboxone works if that is what you were told. You need to be inducted properly with suboxone and then use it for a while for opiate addiction. Then you need to taper off properly. One pill will do nothing but make matters worse. I guarantee you I'm right.

Wish you hadn't taken the 1/2 pill. Did it make your w/d go away? All this is your call, but one suboxone would be a mistake. Guarantee you taking 2mg before bed four nights in a row isn't going to make this work. God bless.

[happies]

i trust your advice. i know i shouldnt have taken that half cause your right, it didnt really take anything away. my work out was totally half wit but i did feel a bit better after. so do you honestly think ill be fine without taking anything?

[Robert_325]

If you don't take anything else, if you will follow the Thomas Recipe, you'll be done with this in a matter of days. Here is the Thomas Recipe link again. That's what I recommend. God bless.

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...wal-35169.html

[happies]

i cant get my hands on any of the BENZOS. My friends only get the pain killers and i dont have a primary doctor to go see aswell as the time away from work. i guess i can just try the vitamins. i take alot of vitamins as it is already. I take vitamin b12, flax seed oil, vitamin E, milk thistle (for my liver) and st. johns wort.

i took a muscle relaxer last night to ease the back pain. is this a bad idea?

[Robert_325]

Are you taking flexeril or soma? Either one is okay in moderation, I'm just curious.

You can use valerian root in lieu of valium. It's not as good as valium for anxiety but you can buy 100 capsules at walmart for $4. Take 3-4 as needed within reason.

Please understand that I recommend suboxone all the time. I just think that you would be fine without it. If you decide to use it you'll need a good supply and it's expensive without insurance. The cold turkey would be best for your situation I think. It's your call. God bless.

[happies]

thanks for your help! with mine and my girfriends strength, i think ill pull through this fine. I just feel good knowing that i WANT to stop taking them and am dead set on that. I just keep in mind that the healing process is only afew days to a week rather than a healing process for my burn or breaks which takes longer. Im not gonna take that tab from my friend of Suboxone. ill take your word.

im gonna go by walgreens to try and find L-Tyrosin and Vitamin b6.

oh and i took cyclobenzaprine. i only have two tabs left anyway.

[brndout]

Originally Posted by happies

thanks for your help! with mine and my girfriends strength, i think ill pull through this fine. I just feel good knowing that i WANT to stop taking them and am dead set on that. I just keep in mind that the healing process is only afew days to a week rather than a healing process for my burn or breaks which takes longer. Im not gonna take that tab from my friend of Suboxone. ill take your word.

im gonna go by walgreens to try and find L-Tyrosin and Vitamin b6.

oh and i took cyclobenzaprine. i only have two tabs left anyway.

Hi -This is Linda and do just as Robert says and you'll be just fine. Then walk away from this and count your lucky stars, God, Karma, wishes on a four leaf clover, whatever , but don't look back and don't return to it! From someone whos been there, please listen !

[happies]

so i feel alot better today than yesterday accept i feel extremely drained. a friend gave me a Mirtazapine pill for depression yesterday. told me to take it before bed and i will sleep like a baby and wake up feeling great. well i finally slept like a baby but i woke up feeling so groggy. is it from the Mirtazapine or still withdrawle symptoms. Im no longer sweating and my achs and pains SO FAR are real mild.

[Robert_325]

Your symptoms are beginning to lighten up. That's what I was trying to tell you yesterday. I suggest you hit the gym again today if at all possible. You give this a couple more days and you're going to start feeling like a new person. Hang in there and don't look back. God bless.

[happies]

SO i thought things were and are going really well but last night i had the worst and most restless sleep i have ever had. It sucked, i kept kicking and turnin over from my sides to my stomach all night. I was tempted to slam afew beers to go to sleep but i didnt wanna feel even more tired in the morning! I kept feeling like someone was tickling or irritating my left elbow where i had surgery when i was a kid. Its not a re injury flare cause its never bothered me before. Its just a really uncomfrotable irritating feeling. no pain involved just feels like someone is tickling my inner elbow. whats up with this?

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by happies

SO i thought things were and are going really well but last night i had the worst and most restless sleep i have ever had. It sucked, i kept kicking and turnin over from my sides to my stomach all night. I was tempted to slam afew beers to go to sleep but i didnt wanna feel even more tired in the morning! I kept feeling like someone was tickling or irritating my left elbow where i had surgery when i was a kid. Its not a re injury flare cause its never bothered me before. Its just a really uncomfrotable irritating feeling. no pain involved just feels like someone is tickling my inner elbow. whats up with this?

It's very simple. Addiction is a strange thing, it's doing the very best it can do to make you think that you need the drugs. I guarantee you that when you get past this you'll be feeling so good. It's just the drugs taking one last stab at making you relapse. Don't do it. God bless.

[happies]

Oh god, i dont know whats wrong with me right now. Im 4-5 days clean and i thought i would be doing good but my anxiety is at its worst right now. I went home to take a nap about an hour ago since i didnt sleep last night and here i am at work with the sweats, my anxiety is off the hook and i have a uncomfortable feeling in the upper back of my head to where i feel like im gonna pass out or snap. i dont get it, i felt great yesterday afternoon and evening. and on top of it all today is my birthday and all i wanna do is crawl in bed but my fiance and parents have all kinds of things planned. honestly though, i dont even want or crave the pill because i dont want to have to experiance this again!!!!!!!!!! to hell with narcotics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!