Must leave this House!

[shadowwally]

Hola

I go back to work on Tuesday, and with a lot of help on this forum and two weeks off, I've successful at jumping off the Fentanyl patches.

I still have a few problems...w/d symptoms, not bad.

Last nite i had my first nights sleep. I've had RLS pretty badly, still struggling with it, but have had so many suggestions that do help. I slept 5 hours, uninterrupted until my legs woke me up this morning.

Some symptoms come and go, but may be getting lots better.

I guess, i've exercised alot at home, very cold outside. But i'm definitely isolating. Nobody comes here, makes that easy, so i have to go out to see anyone. Can't believe what i dug out of the cabinet to eat today, just so i wouldn't have to go to the store.
I''ve got plenty of energy, moved furniture, cleaned house, laundry, kitchen......BUT I haven't even gone out to my mailbox.
How weird is that?
Tomorrow I must go up to my folks and see my sister and brother who flew in today.
That's no hardship, i love them, miss them, enjoy them. But in order to make sure i get out of this house, i have to say it here, to force myself to.
This isn't a new pattern for me, if I didn't walk my dogs and take them out for runs I'd be a recluse. But I'd do anything for them, or for my folks.
I think nothing of driving a couple hours to see my kids or grandkids, it's not that i won't or don't like to go somewhere.
But if i'm not going to my folks, my kids, work, or dogs.....I see no one. I'm not close with anyone. I'm pretty sure that's been my choice.

Oh well, that's it.....just know i have to vow to leave the house before work on Tues. If that's the worst of a persons problems.......hmmm not too sure they have many

I just started a different thread because now, issue is different, not cause i'm gone
But I do thank everyone for the support of the last couple weeks.
Vaya con Dios,
Marian

[shadowwally]

Oh well. I should have remembered that sleep comes and goes along with everything else. Last nite not a sleep nite, maybe tonite will be.
I started this thread to make some goals. But right now, I think goals should be made after a few hours sleep, or coffee.
Vaya con Dios,
Marian

[Robert_325]

You'll do well Marian. I'm proud of how hard you have worked at this and the persistence you've shown. You're already a success story! God bless.

[newyorkgal]

Marian, I so deeply identify with your problem of not wanting to leave the house. I used to have a ton of friends. I used to go to work everyday at 9 a.m. I don't know what happened but I know I could just stay home in my pj's all day - if I could. I have to push myself. I lost my job when I had to go to Va. for 7 months to watch my grandkids while my son was on an aircraft carrier in Africa with the navy so that is gone. I'm a legal secretary but there aren't many lawyers clamoring for a 61 year old legal assistant. My son has since retired this past Sept. and moved back to NY. So I PUSH to go see my grandkids at his house. I PUSH to go food shopping or run errands and I also have a beloved dog and I push to take her out. When I used to get high, I was a social butterfly, now it's all a chore. I am terrified of flying but I always pushed myself to get on airplanes to see my grandkids wherever my kid was stationed which was all over the place. I don't know whatt it is and I'm sorry I'm not offering an answer, just letting you know I identify with how hard it seems to walk out the door sometimes. You are doing great though. Enjoy your family !!

[yezdegerd]

Yeah its hard to believe after going through the wd to believe that this is the hardest part, it really is though. It always feels like half my brain is missing but like Nyg said you just keep pushing forward and create new memories to replace the old ones. I still struggle with it also, but I usually find myself having a great time when I do :-)

[shadowwally]

ok....it's 12:39pm and i've been up so have i left yet? No. I will tho. I'm getting really hungry, really, really. I had lots of fluids here, yogurt, one loaf bread when i started. Just wasn't thinking. Finished the last 2 pcs of bread this morning. So I will go out....but when i feel like it......like supper time at mom and dad's.
Pathetic......56yo still droppin in at meal time
Thanks guys, I'll be around. Keep pushin' me will you? I really need that.
Vaya con Dios,
Marian

[shadowwally]

That's all really.

I hate this!

I don't even care if that's a bad attitude.

It's out of order again

Done.
Marian

[shadowwally]

The last post is NADA


It doesn't belong here.....reposted in need to talk ,,,,

Sorry bout that.
Marian

[srb2011]

You are doing great! I know exactly what you mean about isolating yourself. I have done the same exact thing. It's weird, I liked the hydrocodone because I felt it relaxed me, made it easier to talk to people. However, I have found that I have pulled away from all my friends and family.

[shadowwally]

Hey there,
Think this thread is done.
Been to Mass, my folks, work.......will be to store after work.

Doing great. Thank you.

Vaya con Dios,
Marian

[Jmarket]

Great JOB!

I too know how difficult it can be to have the confidence and motivation to go out and socialize (even with your closest family members) during times like this.

I have read a lot of your posts and you have done very well. The Fentanyl patch is one of the worst to jump from.

I am on the second day of my sub taper, so I will soon be able to start enjoying things without a crutch. I cant wait

CONGRATULATIONS, & GOD BLESS.

[shadowwally]

Great JOB!

I too know how difficult it can be to have the confidence and motivation to go out and socialize (even with your closest family members) during times like this.

I have read a lot of your posts and you have done very well. The Fentanyl patch is one of the worst to jump from.

I am on the second day of my sub taper, so I will soon be able to start enjoying things without a crutch. I cant wait

CONGRATULATIONS, & GOD BLESS.

Hey J,
I needed that right now.....Thank you! You go for it..bet you're excited and scared! Good Job. I read yours as well