[vektor]

Well I've come a long way but it's starting to get pretty tough. I'm with a clinic where I've been for about a year. I wish suboxone wasn't so heavily regulated and I could find a doctor but I looked last year and there are very few and they where all full. I pay 83.00 per week to this clinic for basically a few drops in a bottle and methadone is such a bad mother to come off of I'm going as fast as I can. I've recently begun slowing down my taper to 2 to 3 mg once or twice per week(reducing by that is) I can't miss work and my job is very demanding but I have a real problem with paying so much for so little. I'm also one of the lucky few who know very clearly when he's in full withdrawal as I get severe double vision...not great for driving...lol anyhow Ultimately I'm doing ok and I really don't know the point of this post other than to say hi and talk a little. Thanks for your time. SIncerely , Vektor

[mpvt]

Hi Vecktor, I sympathise with you on paying $83 for so little methadone but I really think you should try and slow your taper down.I know that's not what you want to hear but if you come off of the methadone to quickly you will suffer withdrawls for weeks if not months (PAWS)....Good luck and hang in there.....Dave

[vektor]

Thanks for the input Dave. I've withdrawn once cold turkey from methadone @120 mgs per day to 0 so I can relate to what you are saying I was deathly I'll for at least 2 months, it sucked. Being that I've tapered this time I'm guessing it won't be nearly as tough...hehe. I went to 8 mg today and my next oppoutunity to reduce will be on Monday, I'll see how I feel. Your advice is sage and I'll draw this out as long as I have to in order to continue functioning. I can also increase my dose if I so desire
but that would feel like a defeat so... wish me luck.

[loveiskind]

Vector, I dont know much about methadone, what I do know is about addiction. I am wanting out of this prison so bad. I had an uncle die not even a year ago that was addicted to Oxy. He would take up to 30 at a time, maybe even more, he sould just grab a hand full and chew them up. I hated myslef after that becasue I felt like I shouldve done something ya know? Well he ended up dying of overdose, it was kind alike we all expected it, but it was a shock when it actually happened. I go to his grave sometimes, and i say God help me not end up like him. But I have to change. ITs hard I know, but trust me you dont want to end up like that. Before he died his whole family disowned him and he was living in a hotel. I always say the life of a drug addict is so lonely. But with strength and the help of these people we can do it. You and I both can do itm and we will and one of these days well look back and this will all just seem like an old memory... I hope. Keep me posted and I will keep you posted. I am on day 2 right now. i was taking 20 10mg aday of hydro.

[vektor]

Hey loveiskind thanks for the response. I have a somewhat long a checkered history with opiates inluding( but not limited to hehe) A 3 year or so stint on hydro. I was at 20+ per day as well and you've made a very good decision in quitting. As I'm sure you know beyond the fact of addiction you have the added stress of the tylenol on you liver. I have a friend who's sister died of liver failure. So I'm very happy your doing this. Your uncles story is compelling and sad I'm sorry you had that experience , it sounds as though he's given you an amazing gift. Have you quit or are you attempting a taper ? it sounds as if you've quit. Hopefully you have a good enviroment for this and I'd recommend taking baths...as many per day as you'd like it'll help with the aches and chills.Melatonin is a good thing to use for a non addictive sleep aid especially when you are through with your detox and wish to reset your internal clock. I always experienced insomnia when I went cold turkey. I'm wishing you the very best and my thoughts are with you. Please stay in touch, as will I. Peace , Vektor

[BSGjunkie]

Vektor,

I know you're almost off the methadone, but maybe looking into suboxone again wouldn't be a bad idea. If all your doctors are full, would there be any in surrounding towns or even states that are open? Its maybe worth the 4 hour drive. A month or two of Sub will give you the time to get over the WD's and you're on such a low dosage of methadone, as of now, that you can probably start off, and stay on a lower dose of sub.

I've been on sub for 2 weeks now. Its the answer to my prayers. I highly recommend it to those that really need it.

Junkie

[caryh]

Hi Vektor- I am new to this forum and was reading some of the posts from others. I ran across yours and wanted to reply. I give you credit for remaining so positive... I tried a methadone taper, it was about 22 days and it was blind dosing but I am pretty sure they started me at 80mgs. after the first week I thought it was as bad as the withdrawls from when I would run out of oxycontin. I ended up leaving the treatment center early and returned to using. that was in May, and actually I was just discharged yesterday from a chem dep detox and was give a suboxone taper. Anyway, have you tried finding a doc to do a bupenorphine/suboxone taper rather then maintenance? I tried finding a doc for maintenance here in MN, and I guess there are only 13 doc who can prescribe bupenorphine and all were full, but for a taper it was easier. my prayers are with you, keep me posted on how your doing.


cary

[vektor]

Thanks for your kind words. I have off tomorrow and think I will try again to find a sub or bup doc. I went to 8 mg and felt really ill, in fact I came home from work today... amazing how 2 mg can have that effect. but I tried a total of 5 this week and it proved to be too fast.
My thoughts are with you also cary I hope you do ok. I'm in Wisconsin so were neighbors of sorts. Hang in there. [8D]

[ghstrydr]

vektor, I am in MN, and in day five of no oxy. I will keep you in my prayers, and all I ask is that you do the same.

[mpvt]

Hang in there guys your doing great and I'm thinking about all the people making the effort to quit.......Dave

[vektor]

Thank you all. It's been a tough day. 10 hours of intense physical labor and I have that deep in bone ache of withdrawal...not fun and with the holidays it's just going to get worse. I found a doc here that will accept me on bup for the rest of my taper and I'll see him on friday morning but he wants $1,000 down !!! unreal. It'll cost me 250.00 just to talk to him. at that price I don't know if I'l actually migrate to it or not. But methadone is just such a nasty bugger. I was doing great right up until 8 mg but the stuff just stays in your system so long it finally caught up with me. My thought process is pretty cloudy as well I'm having a tough time weighing the pro's and cons of methadone vs bup vs the $$ and reaching a decision something I'm typically fairly adept @..lol I'm contemplating also raising my meth dose a little and slowing the taper. I work at a grocery wharehouse and with the holidays the next 2 months are going to be hell. I really think I'd be in danger of screwing my job up. Thanks for all the kind thoughts and prayers you will cerainly be in mine. Oxy is no picnic. I'm ashamed to say I've withdrawn from just about everything so I know..[:I]

[mpvt]

There is better doctors out there. can you keep looking????I've heard of these jokers that take your money.Be careful,there are lots of good doctors out there can can prescribe you bup.Good luck....Dave