[in2deep]

i just have one question today & i'd like honest opinions please. I have had problems with with all sorts except heroin, crack & crystal meth, i dont even think you can get that in UK. Im currently 12 days clean from a codeine addiction. I dont want codeine, i want my brain to stop working overtime, im constantly trying to do anything to give myself a break from my thoughts so a vicious circle began by me taking stuff to numb myself but then that causing me more problems so taking something else & so on & so forth. I dont know, i feel so down today. Is it depression, anxiety, a personality disorder or am i just a druggie? I want to be like a "normal" person but i feel i constantly want to escape from myself. I know taking all sorts would not have helped me in the long run but im trying to deal with today in anyway i can. How do you know if there's something wrong with you? If i was fine i wouldnt need to do what i do would i? Or am i just now feeling the repercussions of 11 years of drug/alcohol escapism & how do i stop it or is this just the way i'm meant to be?

[Robert_325]

How long did you use? How can you honestly expect to feel normal after twelve clean days after using for years?

Abusing drugs is serious, it doesn't mean you're really not THAT bad because you didn't use heroin. You don't stay clean for twelve days and get well suddenly. It takes some time to recover after we've abused drugs for years. Don't expect so much so fast. You'll get better and you WILL recover if you don't use. God bless.

[in2deep]

i just wrote a long reply to your post but i use my mobile for internet & it cut off. I undestand what your saying, im just interested in the pyschology behind it. Im trying to pinpoint what happened to set this pattern of behaviour off, i have a fair idea of where it went wrong for me. I just want to know why i have this need to escape from myself & resolve it. I know i should just get over it & move on but i dont know how to do it thats all. Thanks for your reply robert

[Businessman1]

My opinion is that your current mental state falls into the category of being normal. Normal people are happy, sad, depressed, excited etc. you're just used to feeling nothing. It's kind of nice because you never feel really bad. It also sucks when you miss out on feeling really happy. You're losing a big part of your life and have to face to world differently.

After a while though, I think you'll find new interests, new friends and enter a different phase in your life and forget what you were depressed about. I doubt you'll look back fondly on all the time you spent on you own with the opiates.

[melinda7.5]

Hi in2deep
I know for myself I had to change the way I thought about things...
are brain does anything it can to avoid pain and gain pleasure...In the shortest amount of time.That is where the drugs come in at...
When I was going thru my detox I got a motivational Cd from Anthony Robbins its all about changing th way you think and it can change the chemicals in your brain...it has all kind of tricks to get your brain working better than most of your normal people...even now if i start to get unmotivated i listen to it again and get my thinking in the right direction again...
In the states you can get it at the libary...It is called Lessons in Mastery BY Anthony Robbins...
I now this sounds like a silly answer ..but I swear to you this really helped me mentaly...
Talk to you later, Melinda