Lexapro Withdrawal

[Gods girl]

Hi,
New to this site. Stumbled across it a few days ago whilst researching weight gain on lexapro.

I have been on lexapro now since the last week of November 2011, I started on 10mg, within 2 weeks a psychiatrist had doubled the dose, without even waiting to see if the initial dose would work!!! I have been on 20mg now since around Dec 3 2012.

I have been suffering from an eating disorder for approx 2 years coupled with depression, insomnia etc etc. the lexapro has made me feel like im living in a bubble, it's masking the symptoms but the problems are still there.

I have also put on close to 20lbs and this is stressing me out although as I'm on the lexapro it's a mild stress if you know what I mean.

Anyway after finding all this info I now realise what a horror drug this is.
This morning I cut down from 20mg to 15mg as it was easy to cut tablet into quarter.
I realise withdrawal could take a few months. Will weight continue to pile on even during withdrawal? And is my first taper to
Big???

Thanks heaps...not sure I'm looking forWrd to the next few months but better now than being on this for years and then trying

[hope_is_the_last]

Hi and welcome, Gods girl!

I am sorry about your weight gain. You have not been on Lex for a long time, not even 3 months, right?

I am not a doctor, but my guess would be that 20 -> 15 will be OK for you, because you haven't been on it for long. Please please please watch yourself closely though and do not try to tough it out if withdrawal gets very bad. Not trying to scare you, you might not feel much at all... nobody can tell beforehand.

Also, even if withdrawal is not bad at all, make sure to stay on 15 mg for at least 2-3 weeks. Only then can you be sure that withdrawal is over, because new withdrawal symptoms can appear up to 10-14 days after you change your dose.

You can help your body heal from this drug by taking supplements (good multivitamin, fish oil, calcium/magnesium) and taking care of your body in general (eat healthy: plenty salads and fruit, sleep enough, avoid alcohol/caffeine).

Come back here anytime to vent or ask questions. We will try to help. We are not doctors, however, so make sure you talk to your doctor about your tapering plans.

All the best,
hope

Hi,
New to this site. Stumbled across it a few days ago whilst researching weight gain on lexapro.

I have been on lexapro now since the last week of November 2011, I started on 10mg, within 2 weeks a psychiatrist had doubled the dose, without even waiting to see if the initial dose would work!!! I have been on 20mg now since around Dec 3 2012.

I have been suffering from an eating disorder for approx 2 years coupled with depression, insomnia etc etc. the lexapro has made me feel like im living in a bubble, it's masking the symptoms but the problems are still there.

I have also put on close to 20lbs and this is stressing me out although as I'm on the lexapro it's a mild stress if you know what I mean.

Anyway after finding all this info I now realise what a horror drug this is.
This morning I cut down from 20mg to 15mg as it was easy to cut tablet into quarter.
I realise withdrawal could take a few months. Will weight continue to pile on even during withdrawal? And is my first taper to
Big???

Thanks heaps...not sure I'm looking forWrd to the next few months but better now than being on this for years and then trying

[dbeck91]

Hello, I started taking lexapro on november 17 for depersonalization disorder as well as anxiety. I started and stuck with 10mg. After about 2.5 months I decided that the effects of the drug were not worth the price, so on February 7 I decided to start tapering. I dropped down to 5mg and have been taking that for the past 6 days. So far the my side effects have been increased depersonalization (out of body/unreality feelings) and anxiety, as well drowsiness and minor head pressure. I battle these by taking .5mg of klonapin daily. I plan to stay at 5mg for another week, then drop to 2.5mg one day with 5mg on the other for another two weeks, then 2.5mg for two weeks, then 2.5mg every other day for another 2 weeks. After this I hope to discontinue using the drug altogether.

My reason for posting this: should I expect any additional side effects to come along? Is my tapering plan okay? Even though I only took the drug for less then 3 months, should I expect to encounter any extreme side effects? (i cant even imagine what some of you must be going through.)

I would greatly appreciate any answers!!!

[hope_is_the_last]

Hello, I started taking lexapro on november 17 for depersonalization disorder as well as anxiety. I started and stuck with 10mg. After about 2.5 months I decided that the effects of the drug were not worth the price, so on February 7 I decided to start tapering. I dropped down to 5mg and have been taking that for the past 6 days. So far the my side effects have been increased depersonalization (out of body/unreality feelings) and anxiety, as well drowsiness and minor head pressure. I battle these by taking .5mg of klonapin daily. I plan to stay at 5mg for another week, then drop to 2.5mg one day with 5mg on the other for another two weeks, then 2.5mg for two weeks, then 2.5mg every other day for another 2 weeks. After this I hope to discontinue using the drug altogether.

My reason for posting this: should I expect any additional side effects to come along? Is my tapering plan okay? Even though I only took the drug for less then 3 months, should I expect to encounter any extreme side effects? (i cant even imagine what some of you must be going through.)

I would greatly appreciate any answers!!!

Hi dbeck,

please read a few posts back. I have posted the three most important rules of tapering in a very recent post.

In short, yes, your tapering plan is too fast. You are probably experiencing withdrawals (increased depersonalization) and you should wait until they are gone before even considering to taper again. Also keep in mind, new withdrawal symptoms can appear up to 14 days after your last taper.

Please read back a bit and post any further questions.

All the best,
hope

[hybridpollo]

Hey guys and gals,


So looks like an update that I made a few weeks ago got deleted accidentally instead of that spam post a few posts up. Glad to see that all is well regardless of the daily battles we go through.

With February nearly finished, I am at the 6 month mark since I have left Lexapro. Some days are better than others but lately at least in the past week the bad days have been very few and far in between. I have gone through the most stressful to me events without the Lex than during the period of not having the Lex and I have managed to get through them. The anxiety is high at times, but is very manageable, very manageable indeed. At this point, I'm not even sure if the supplements help at all, since I started taking the supplements during tapering.

I'm still battling with some faint headaches, some tunnel vision, slightly blurry vision in the evenings. Every once in a while I get that slight pressure on my chest along, and my heart rate spikes up slightly which is all related, so I have learned that and just chill until it goes away. The best way to describe phase 2 at least through my experience, is that is exactly similiar as going through the horror that it was getting used to the Lexapro for the first couple of days of taking the drug, but for an extended period of time.... and months , months away after stopping which is what I still do not understand why phase 2 is the way it is.

I feel like my whole 2011 was a waste of time because it was all cloudy due to this drug, but again I have learned a lot about myself and how to manage during and post lexapro. One thing while we're at it which I'm not sure if you guys read on the update that got deleted. In late October 2011 while I was 1 month into the Lexapro free life, I though.... well if quitting Lexapro while not quit smoking.... since I was pretty much throwing my body all it could handle, I figured, while not go through the whole enchilada and drop that as well. So as of today I have been a non smoker for 4 months.

The battle continues, but with positivity up front. I should be done with this within the next couple of months.

[nstaff808]

I have only been on 10mg a day for 9 days but after reading these posts I am going to stop right away. I've kicked things in the past and don't ever want to go through withdrawls like that again.

Anyone have any experience with short term use? Did you get any of the symptoms listed here when stopping? Thanks.

[hybridpollo]

I have only been on 10mg a day for 9 days but after reading these posts I am going to stop right away. I've kicked things in the past and don't ever want to go through withdrawls like that again.

Anyone have any experience with short term use? Did you get any of the symptoms listed here when stopping? Thanks.

Hello !

Everyones body is quite distinct. There are those who stopped after short term usage ( 3 - 6 months ) and have reported very little problems when withdrawal, however there are cases where someone has taken as little as one and it has wreaked havoc. As with everything consult with your doctor prior to withdrawing as it has been well documented how bad this drug is when withdrawing from.


In my particular example - I was on Lexapro for 6-7 months taking 10mg ( doctor originally prescribed 20mg ) and I decided to stick with 10mg. No history of depression, and was put on Lexapro because I had an anxiety attack which turned into panic ( first family death ). I am 6 months post leaving the drug completely and months 4-6 post srris are known to be the worst to some, it has been pretty bad for me, but it has been manageable as well. What you read on stories here may be the exception to the rule in some cases but one thing is for certain, withdrawal from this drug is very common and can affect you in an array of ways that may not affect others so it's a very individual experience. As a last example, lots of people experience brain zaps, I have never felt them, but sure as heck I have experienced the brain foggyness, tunnel vision, blurriness, stomach discomfort, migraine like headaches, increased heart rate ( 100 - 120 bpm) for no reason, sweaty palms, and feet., depression, hopelessness, depersonalization and some anxiety attacks post leaving the drug around month 2-3. Pretty much anything that I am or will be experiencing that is out of the 'norm' from the past 3 months until the end of this year, I am attributing to withdrawal symptoms. After a while you just know, what is not normal and what is something that is part of the withdrawal, it's a sucky way to live but it is what it is until this goes away.

If you decide to stop Lexapro, I know it's a lot to read but this thread is full of useful information, and support. I know it has been for me and many others, present and past.

[BilltheMan]

Hello all,

I am new to this forum. I was until very recently a very happy, and healthy guy that had no anxiety or depression issues whatsoever. I am 44 years of age, live overseas and have a great wife and son.

Until very recently I was very much into exercising and martial arts and a strong follower of homeopathy for several years.

My problems began in September when I became obsessed with a groin hernia problem I develop on both sides and the need for surgery which led me to have extremely high anxiety which developed into imsomnia. I visited a psychiatrist who told me I had GAD and immediately prescribed Lexapro and Frisium for me. Within a few days of taking the Frisium and Lexapro together I had suicidal thoughts. This is someone who has always loved life to the fullest. The whole thing was blamed on the Frisium and I continued to take the Lexapro but substituted Ativan as a Benzo which appeared to work for me without making me delusional.

By a stroke of luck my brother introduced me to a CBT specialist who also happens to be an expert in pharmocology, since he studied neuropsychology in school. At this point I had been taking the Lexapro for about five weeks at 10 mgs. Upon seeing me the CBT guy stated that in fact the psychiatrist had performed an overkill on me. He said I did not have GAD but simply had developed an obsession and anxiety over the hernia surgery that was not going to go away by taking an SSRI. He also said that it is impossible for someone like me who was always exercizing and barely took medication all his life to suddenly end up taking all types of psych medications throughout the day just to get by. He recommended that I gradually wean myself off the Lexapro. I agreed with him because after taking the stuff for 7 weeks at 10mgs it really did not do much for me except give me bouts of dizziness, more nervousness, a voracious appetite and killing my libido after about the 5th week. I also did not want to deal with many of the sideffects like the lack of libido and concentration, etc that the stuff gave me. In cooperation with my CBT specialist I reduced the dosage to 5mgs for two weeks and eventually stopped taking it altogether about 7 weeks ago. In total I took Lexapro for seven weeks at (5 at 10mgs and 2 at 5mgs).

Since then life has been difficult. For about three weeks after stopping the stuff I had good and bad days. On the good days I felt much better than the time I was taking Lexapro and literally felt I was getting much better. On the bad days I literally have felt like I am falling apart but still cannot say that they are worse than the days I took Lexapro. I did not get many of the very nasty sideffects that some people have listed on this forum like brainzaps, or anything like that probably because I did not take if for a long period of time. In the beginning, I did, however, suffer from some serious bouts of amnesia, dizziness, a little vertigo, a feeling like I have a slight cold, etc. The amnesia has gone away but I still have a bit of the dizziness and cold. My libido has gradually begun to return but is nowhere near the point it was before I started taking the med. I also swear that my anxiety is worse now than it was before I started taking the stuff because besides ther hernias I am extremely worried that the medication may have done some sort of permament damage on me. I feel like it has taken something away from me that I just cannot put my finger on and this has left me very scared, irritable and confused.

To get by and keep my anxiety in check I have been taking 0.5mgs of Ativan a day and a natural tincture given to me by my CBT guy. I know Ativan is a pretty addictive Benzo but I am doing everything in my power to keep my dosage at this amount in order to eventually wean myself off that as well after my hernia surgery. However, I do want to get my anxiety under control before proceeding with it.

My main problem now seems to be the following. At night I can usually fall asleep on my own. I sleep for a few hours but wake up in the night experiencing intense fears and phobias about just about everything even simple things like going to work. However, I am able to go back to sleep and generally get 6-7 hours of deep sleep every night. However, I have these intense vivid dreams and nightmares that often leave me terrified and scared for hours afterI wake up while my fear has also led to great sadness. This fear and sadness were never things I experienced before taking Lexapro MY CBT specialist has assured me that the Lexapro is now totally out of my system and what I am experiencing is just the anxiety. However, I am not so sure.

I just wanted to ask the more experienced members of this forum and people who have successfully gotten off Lexapro if these symptoms are a normal occurrence for this timeframe after stopping the medication and if they will eventually go away. I am trying to stay strong. I do not want to start taking Lexapro again or another SSRI frankly because I am afraid they might not work for me and I fear both the sideeffects and possible negative ramifications on both my mental and physical health.

Thank you very much.

Bill

[hope_is_the_last]

Hi and welcome, Bill!

I completely agree with your friend that Lex was overkill for you, especially at a high dose of 10mg. (Yes, yes, I know 10-20mg is the usual dose the doctors like to give. That doesn't mean that they're right though.)

It's good that you didn't stay on Lex for a longer time. However, your tapering schedule (100% -> 50% -> 0%) was very fast, maybe too fast. Some people chose to go back on a dose of Lex if they tapered too fast and withdrawal is too bad. Just putting it out there, not saying this is what you should do. If you want to search this thread for this option, try the word "reinstating". It usually works best if the last dose was taken no more than 6 weeks ago (so you're slightly over that time frame) and if withdrawal is severe (usually severe physical issues like brain zaps etc).

Your withdrawal symptoms seem normal to me. Maybe a little rougher than they would be if you had tapered correctly, but what's done is done (unless you want to reinstate).

Anxiety, vivid dreams, dizziness, nausea, feeling of a lingering cold, hot flashes, irritability, inability to handle stress, derealization/depersonalization, are all symptoms of messed up serotonin levels (usually too low serotonin levels).

You can handle those symptoms with supplements. Usually recommended: a good multivitamin, high-quality salmon fish oil, Magnesium/Calcium supplements, some amino acids were mentioned on this thread as well.

Lifestyle habits that will help you: good nutrition, no alcohol, no caffeine, plenty of sleep/rest, minimize stress, regular sleep/wake schedule, meditation/relaxation practice, yoga, fresh air, the usual... just plain healthy lifestyle.

Please come back with any questions you might have. Remember though, we are not doctor here, so this is not medical advice. You should double-check all decisions you make with the medical professional of your choice.

Please do come back and let us know how things are going for you.

All the best!
hope

Hello all,

I am new to this forum. I was until very recently a very happy, and healthy guy that had no anxiety or depression issues whatsoever. I am 44 years of age, live overseas and have a great wife and son.

Until very recently I was very much into exercising and martial arts and a strong follower of homeopathy for several years.

My problems began in September when I became obsessed with a groin hernia problem I develop on both sides and the need for surgery which led me to have extremely high anxiety which developed into imsomnia. I visited a psychiatrist who told me I had GAD and immediately prescribed Lexapro and Frisium for me. Within a few days of taking the Frisium and Lexapro together I had suicidal thoughts. This is someone who has always loved life to the fullest. The whole thing was blamed on the Frisium and I continued to take the Lexapro but substituted Ativan as a Benzo which appeared to work for me without making me delusional.

By a stroke of luck my brother introduced me to a CBT specialist who also happens to be an expert in pharmocology, since he studied neuropsychology in school. At this point I had been taking the Lexapro for about five weeks at 10 mgs. Upon seeing me the CBT guy stated that in fact the psychiatrist had performed an overkill on me. He said I did not have GAD but simply had developed an obsession and anxiety over the hernia surgery that was not going to go away by taking an SSRI. He also said that it is impossible for someone like me who was always exercizing and barely took medication all his life to suddenly end up taking all types of psych medications throughout the day just to get by. He recommended that I gradually wean myself off the Lexapro. I agreed with him because after taking the stuff for 7 weeks at 10mgs it really did not do much for me except give me bouts of dizziness, more nervousness, a voracious appetite and killing my libido after about the 5th week. I also did not want to deal with many of the sideffects like the lack of libido and concentration, etc that the stuff gave me. In cooperation with my CBT specialist I reduced the dosage to 5mgs for two weeks and eventually stopped taking it altogether about 7 weeks ago. In total I took Lexapro for seven weeks at (5 at 10mgs and 2 at 5mgs).

Since then life has been difficult. For about three weeks after stopping the stuff I had good and bad days. On the good days I felt much better than the time I was taking Lexapro and literally felt I was getting much better. On the bad days I literally have felt like I am falling apart but still cannot say that they are worse than the days I took Lexapro. I did not get many of the very nasty sideffects that some people have listed on this forum like brainzaps, or anything like that probably because I did not take if for a long period of time. In the beginning, I did, however, suffer from some serious bouts of amnesia, dizziness, a little vertigo, a feeling like I have a slight cold, etc. The amnesia has gone away but I still have a bit of the dizziness and cold. My libido has gradually begun to return but is nowhere near the point it was before I started taking the med. I also swear that my anxiety is worse now than it was before I started taking the stuff because besides ther hernias I am extremely worried that the medication may have done some sort of permament damage on me. I feel like it has taken something away from me that I just cannot put my finger on and this has left me very scared, irritable and confused.

To get by and keep my anxiety in check I have been taking 0.5mgs of Ativan a day and a natural tincture given to me by my CBT guy. I know Ativan is a pretty addictive Benzo but I am doing everything in my power to keep my dosage at this amount in order to eventually wean myself off that as well after my hernia surgery. However, I do want to get my anxiety under control before proceeding with it.

My main problem now seems to be the following. At night I can usually fall asleep on my own. I sleep for a few hours but wake up in the night experiencing intense fears and phobias about just about everything even simple things like going to work. However, I am able to go back to sleep and generally get 6-7 hours of deep sleep every night. However, I have these intense vivid dreams and nightmares that often leave me terrified and scared for hours afterI wake up while my fear has also led to great sadness. This fear and sadness were never things I experienced before taking Lexapro MY CBT specialist has assured me that the Lexapro is now totally out of my system and what I am experiencing is just the anxiety. However, I am not so sure.

I just wanted to ask the more experienced members of this forum and people who have successfully gotten off Lexapro if these symptoms are a normal occurrence for this timeframe after stopping the medication and if they will eventually go away. I am trying to stay strong. I do not want to start taking Lexapro again or another SSRI frankly because I am afraid they might not work for me and I fear both the sideeffects and possible negative ramifications on both my mental and physical health.

Thank you very much.

Bill

[hope_is_the_last]

hybridpollo, congrats on being 6 months Lex-free and 4 months smoke-free! That's awesome!!!

[hope_is_the_last]

Bill,

I forgot to add: while the Lexapro might physically be out of your system, the withdrawal effects easily last 8 months and in at least some cases even years. So I do not agree with the CBT when he says your anxiety must be your underlying condition. In my opinion (but of course I'm not a doctor, just a fellow sufferer) your anxiety stems mainly from withdrawal, judging be your description of your general health before this whole mess started.

Also be advised about "Phase 2" withdrawals, which start about 4-6 months after your last dose. These usually include severe depression (even if you have never suffered from depression and were not put on Lex for depression, i. e. even if depression is NOT your underlying, original condition). Phase 2 is usually most severe is people who have not tapered at all and have gone off Lex "cold turkey", but other do get is as well.

All the best,
hope

[BilltheMan]

Hope,

Thanx a lot for the info. The truth is that a lot of what I am reading here is upsetting me and I have become rather demoralized. I knew getting of the Lex was not going to be easy but I figured that if I stayed my course, the ugly symptoms would eventually go away after 2 or at the most 3 months. I was planning on having my surgery soon with the hope of getting on with my life. Now I realize that that the worst may be yet to come.

The funny thing is that at night I am able to relax, fall asleep deeply on my own and many of my dreams now are not nightmares but are very vivid. Nevertheless, when I wake up from them I am in fear for absolutely no reason. After awaking with this fear I tend to get anxiety "spikes" in the morning that may entail physical symptoms like coughing and nausea. It appears to be something purely chemical that I have no control over. I then get very upset and spend my day at work in a state of sadness. I had none of these symptoms prior to taking the Lex so naturally I think it may be involved. Hopefully I am going through an early "phase 2'
before getting over the stuff.

I am also doing homeopathy and biofeedback sessions with another expert so maybe with luck this will also contribute to me having a faster recovery. Homeopathy has worked very well for me in the past. However, psych meds like Lexapro are so strong and leave such an imprint that I don't know if the homeopathic medicines will be able to do much for me now.

Anyway, I am a prime example of what not to do when you have a minor health problem to deal with like hernia surgery. You don't obsess with the surgery and certainly don't visit a psychiatrist and go on any meds before being informed about the possible consequences

I now realize that taking Lex was a fatal mistake. I can only pray that I will be lucky and that since I took the drug for such a short period of time I will be able to also get over it faster.

I will use this board to give me strength.

Thank you all
Bill

[pepsnme]

Hi Bill

and Hi All....

I'm coming up to my 2 year mark of being lex-free, and my first suggestion to you is to 'relax'...you have found the best place to help you through this. It is scary and de-moralising to realise what is ahead of you, but the tools and support you can get from this feed will help you not only get lex-free but assist you in recovery.
There's no easy way here....just read as much as you can, and maintain a sense of faith...this too shall pass.
For me, my life...or my sense of self has been forever changed by lexapro...the night-terrors, the anxiety and the countless other side-effects are now just another form of damage control. But these too will pass.
It sounds like you have the beginnings of a succesful recovery from lexapro....previous history of good health, investigating other forms of health-care (homeopathy) and a good sense of self-actualistation.
So....it helps when you wake up at 3am to reassure yourself that 'it is not you', just your body coping with the drug that is in your system...roll with it...make sure you have a book you wanted to read right by your bedstand, grab that rescue-remedy or whatever helps in letting you ride out the night-terrors.
Post here when you need, ask questions, research all these years of other's experiences.
It will get better...it will pass....just get your vits and supps...check out noni-juice and be gentle with yourself. And most importantly, let those that are close to you know what is happening.
I always say that I am 80% better than I was...'tis a running joke with myself....but I am finally confident in saying that I am over the worst, and finally beginning to feel like Me again.
Take care, Bill, and everyone else.

L
Thanx a lot for the info. The truth is that a lot of what I am reading here is upsetting me and I have become rather demoralized. I knew getting of the Lex was not going to be easy but I figured that if I stayed my course, the ugly symptoms would eventually go away after 2 or at the most 3 months. I was planning on having my surgery soon with the hope of getting on with my life. Now I realize that that the worst may be yet to come.

The funny thing is that at night I am able to relax, fall asleep deeply on my own and many of my dreams now are not nightmares but are very vivid. Nevertheless, when I wake up from them I am in fear for absolutely no reason. After awaking with this fear I tend to get anxiety "spikes" in the morning that may entail physical symptoms like coughing and nausea. It appears to be something purely chemical that I have no control over. I then get very upset and spend my day at work in a state of sadness. I had none of these symptoms prior to taking the Lex so naturally I think it may be involved. Hopefully I am going through an early "phase 2'
before getting over the stuff.

I am also doing homeopathy and biofeedback sessions with another expert so maybe with luck this will also contribute to me having a faster recovery. Homeopathy has worked very well for me in the past. However, psych meds like Lexapro are so strong and leave such an imprint that I don't know if the homeopathic medicines will be able to do much for me now.

Anyway, I am a prime example of what not to do when you have a minor health problem to deal with like hernia surgery. You don't obsess with the surgery and certainly don't visit a psychiatrist and go on any meds before being informed about the possible consequences

I now realize that taking Lex was a fatal mistake. I can only pray that I will be lucky and that since I took the drug for such a short period of time I will be able to also get over it faster.

I will use this board to give me strength.

Thank you all
Bill[/QUOTE]

[MF3452]

Hope,

Thanx a lot for the info. The truth is that a lot of what I am reading here is upsetting me and I have become rather demoralized. I knew getting of the Lex was not going to be easy but I figured that if I stayed my course, the ugly symptoms would eventually go away after 2 or at the most 3 months. I was planning on having my surgery soon with the hope of getting on with my life. Now I realize that that the worst may be yet to come.

The funny thing is that at night I am able to relax, fall asleep deeply on my own and many of my dreams now are not nightmares but are very vivid. Nevertheless, when I wake up from them I am in fear for absolutely no reason. After awaking with this fear I tend to get anxiety "spikes" in the morning that may entail physical symptoms like coughing and nausea. It appears to be something purely chemical that I have no control over. I then get very upset and spend my day at work in a state of sadness. I had none of these symptoms prior to taking the Lex so naturally I think it may be involved. Hopefully I am going through an early "phase 2'
before getting over the stuff.

I am also doing homeopathy and biofeedback sessions with another expert so maybe with luck this will also contribute to me having a faster recovery. Homeopathy has worked very well for me in the past. However, psych meds like Lexapro are so strong and leave such an imprint that I don't know if the homeopathic medicines will be able to do much for me now.

Anyway, I am a prime example of what not to do when you have a minor health problem to deal with like hernia surgery. You don't obsess with the surgery and certainly don't visit a psychiatrist and go on any meds before being informed about the possible consequences

I now realize that taking Lex was a fatal mistake. I can only pray that I will be lucky and that since I took the drug for such a short period of time I will be able to also get over it faster.

I will use this board to give me strength.

Thank you all
Bill

Hello, All -What a long strange trip it's been. I've been Lex free for just over 5 months. I know it's not the norm, but I tapered for a year and then quit in September when my father passed away. I had been on and off (mostly on) since being diagnosed w/ appendix cancer back in June 05. The psychological part of cancer has been much more difficult to beat than the cancer itself. I'm definitley going thru what Dr. Alice W. Lee-Bloem, MD, calls protracted withdrawal. I've also got a lot of what nsteffen describes in her threads. This Phase 2 thing is very difficult. My therapist wants me to concentrate on my father's death and not the withdrawal. He doesn't believe in it which seems to be most people, including my wife. Anyway, thanx to you all for all of the insightful info and for sharing your experiences and keeping my hopes up. Bill -we will get thru this!

[MF3452]

Welcome nsteffen!

I'm sorry you're going through all of this. What a rollercoaster (and not in a good way)!

I would guess the reason why everything is so bad right now is Phase 2 withdrawals. You said you've read a lot on here, so you know what I mean. The timing is right and the symptoms seem to match too. Extreme depression (your breakdown 2 weeks ago)... about 4 months after your last dose.

I do not know exactly what the four pills of Lex did to you two weeks ago. They sure confused your system (insomnia and anxiety). It's unfortunate, but I guess in that situation nobody knew what to do. If you want to reinstate, I suggest you do so on a MUCH lower dose. Your symptoms (insomnia, anxiety) suggest the dose was way too high. IF you want to reinstate, you should get a prescription for the liquid Lex and might want to take a low dose, say 3mg or so. (Remember, I am not a doctor, so you need to speak with your doctor about this.) Liquid Lex will also allow you to taper very slowly.

I completely understand if you want to stick it out though... Are you taking supplements still? Have you tried Noni juice for depersonalization?

I hope you will feel better soon. You can come here and vent anytime. This is not the end of the world, but it is a very tough journey. We all know that here...

hope

nsteffen -How are you doing? I quit last Sept after a year's taper and being on Lex for 5 years. I'm going thru a lot of what you are or hopefully, were.

[BilltheMan]

Hi,

It's BilltheMan again. Just wanted to post on my progress. Yesterday was easily one of the worst days of my life. I was full of complete fear and sadness and felt like I was falling off a cliff. My anxiety has morphed into a sort of fear and sadness. I feel like I have this black cloud hanging over me that I cannot shake off. Yet I want to try and stay the course without going back on Lexapro or taking another SSRI. For one thing I don't know if they will work for me. 7 weeks of Lex did nothing but make me more anxious. Also I don't want to deal with the possible health ramifications and sideffects, particularly the sexual ones which literally killed my libido.

In addition, until September I was a guy who exercised regularly and only took homeopathic medicine. In fact, I don't believe I had even taken an antibiotic for well over 10 years. Can you imagine being somebody who barely took any medication and suddenly ending up on psych meds in a period of three months? And all of this happened because I developed an obsession over a simple hernia surgery and made the grave mistake of speaking with a psychiatrist about it. I'm sorry if I sound like a crybaby but this is really a great shock to me. I still cannot believe it. I am trying to salvage what has remained of my old self and that is why I got off the Lex. I can only hope that's possible. And that's why I will rely on you guys on this board for help and support.

In terms of my symptions feel a slight haziness and diziness throughout the day which becomes worse in the evenings when I also feel tired.


At night I am able to fall asleep on my own. I am usually pretty calm when that happens The dreams I see are usually vivid but are not nightmares. Yet for some strange reason I wake up in the middle of the night with extreme bouts of fear. I then get attacks which include nausea and anxiety induced coughing. I can provide no other explanation for it other than Lexapro.

The whole thing is really hard to explain. In my sessions with my CBT specialist I have clearly realized what my problems are and outlined my priorities. I no longer have a fear of the hernia surgery and have my priorities straight (wife and son). In fact, I just want to have the surgery and move on with my life. My CBT guy continues to insist that after 8 off the drug, Lexapro it is no longer in my system and the symptoms I am experiencing are not related to it

As I had stated earlier I am also doing homeopathy and biofeedback to deal with my problem. My homeopathic doctor who examined me yesterday said that she believed my body is actually calmer than it was the last time she saw me over a month ago. She could only attribute the continuation of my high anxiety to the sadness that I am experiencing. She claimed that she could help me greatly with homeopathic medicines. I can only hope she is right.

I'd like to know the opinion of some of you guys on the forum. Do you believe I may going through an early "phase 2?" Remember I took this drug for a total of 7 weeks. Yes, it was 7 weeks too many but still a short time when compared to many other's here.

Thanx again,
Bill

[deannarenae]

Hello, I found this site yesterday after trying to find out why i was cramping so bad on my period that i was nauseous , dizzy and laying on the ground crying like a toddler. I am only 23 years old. There is no reason i should have to live my life masked by a drug that was given to me when i didnt know any better. I began taking lexapro at SIXTEEN because i began having panic attacks. Doctors had no living clue what was wrong with me, and when they did figure it out I was treated as if I needed to be in a padded room by my psychiatrist who constantly asked if i was hearing evil voices. Anyways, for 7 years these "professionals" have had me on this. They originally started me on Lexapro, Seroquel , Welbutrin and Clonapin. Not sure what sort of a doctor would set someone up for a life like that. As i got older i realized i did not want to be on drugs my entire life and shouldn't have to be! I finally came off everything on my own except for Lex. I have tried to come off it before many times cold turkey and had to go back on, then they increased me from 10 to 20. I dont remember when they did that because on this drug i CANNOT REMEMBER ANYTHING that happens. EVER. I have not taken the drug on any sort of a daily basis for atleast 4 months now. I will do okay for a week or two and then the brain zaps start and i will have to take an entire pill to get through the day and go to work. I work at Walgreens which will really push your buttons when you are going through all this. Lately I have been close to wanting to strangle alot of customers because I really DO NOT freaking care if their freaking paper towels were supposed to be 129 or 139. It is becoming increasingly hard to be nice to the customers because I constantly feel like i am on the verge of turning around and ripping everyone to shreds. I dont know when the last time i took lexapro was bc like i said i cannot remember anything.I want my memory to be better. I feel like this drug makes me have the mental capacity of a kindergartener with a mental handicap somedays I am frustrated. Today the cramps are better. But nothing can make up for the fact that my brain feels like complete mush. Is there anything really in there ? I dont feel like i have a brain. The only reminder is the zapping feeling. Its okay if im laying in bed doing something but as soon as im moving around its bad. Shifting my eyes, bending over, everything will cause it. I do not want to take even 5mg of this stuff just to start coming off it again. I probably will have to though. I am either constantly so cranky i cannot stand to live in my own skin or i am so incredibly sad that I cry so hard for 30 minutes to an hour at a time. I am under a lot of stress and not sure what to do. My insurance stopped covering Lexapro anyways and they want me on the generic of Celexia. I havent started taking the celexia bc i dont want to and from what i have read they actually are nothing alike if i am understand that right. I have 2 or 3 bottles of Lexapro left still because that is how much i have missed on my dosages but have continued to get them filled "just in case" I have also had off and on a spot in my right eye that annoys the heck out of me. Fatigue , bouts of sheer anger- I went to mcdonalds to get a smoothie and realized i had left me debit card at home, then started yelling and cursing at the top of my lungs, began crying violently, came home and threw my keys and phone at the wall and then yelled and cried more. Not normal for me. In 2 days it will be the anniversary of my boyfriend of 2 years death. He was killed instantly in a car accident. I do not want to be on drugs to deal with REAL emotions. He is dead, a drug isn't going to change that. But with all this going on I never sleep during normal hours because i close nights, I never talk to anyone besides people at work because of my schedule. I just want to snap at everyone or stay in bed all day. I am not sure what I should do. Just needed to tell someone my story. Im hoping the zaps and the anger and sadness will get better soon. I feel absolutely insane.

[Duane24]

So I posted before about the itching I have experienced. I am now in my third month off the drug and it has progressively gotten worse. I am starting month three of being off lexapro and the itching has gotten so bad that I can't even sleep. I have been using anti-itch cream and it does very little to help. I do NOT want to go back on the drug, but I am about to lose it. I can't sleep, and itch so bad I can hardly stand it. There is no rash, but I am itching myself raw. What can I do to make it stop ... HELP!!!

[nsteffen]

nsteffen -How are you doing? I quit last Sept after a year's taper and being on Lex for 5 years. I'm going thru a lot of what you are or hopefully, were.

Still the same...every day is a complete struggle to live. The immense physcial, neurological and emotional pain is unparalleled with anything else on earth. You were smart enough to do a years long taper...I wish I did anything slower than I did and listened to my body and took as long as I needed to get off of these pills.

My life and body is is shamble right now and I literally have nothing left. I know I am in for years of this but just want to see some improvements.

What types of symptoms do you have?

[erinkj]

So I posted before about the itching I have experienced. I am now in my third month off the drug and it has progressively gotten worse. I am starting month three of being off lexapro and the itching has gotten so bad that I can't even sleep. I have been using anti-itch cream and it does very little to help. I do NOT want to go back on the drug, but I am about to lose it. I can't sleep, and itch so bad I can hardly stand it. There is no rash, but I am itching myself raw. What can I do to make it stop ... HELP!!!

Anti-Itch creams will not help unless you have a rash which, as you said you do not. (The cream one would use would depend on the type of rash also) Your itching is likely caused by abnormal signals from nerve messengers to your skin. This is actually more common than many know. It is very typical of a drug reaction as well as a drug withdrawal. ( With other drugs ie, opiates for example; people experience "drug bugs" SSRI as well as ALL neuro affecting medications are capable of causing the same or similar symptoms during use and discontinuation.)

You need an Antihistamine. Benedryl is the best one for itching. (It is also the same med hospitals administer via I.V. for overdose and adverse medication reactions) Benedryl should give you some, if not total releif however, it has it's side effects. The most common is sleepiness, Benedryl knocks me out (which helps when I can't sleep) It's worth a try. I hope this helps and that you get releif son.
Erin

[erinkj]

Hello, I found this site yesterday after trying to find out why i was cramping so bad on my period that i was nauseous , dizzy and laying on the ground crying like a toddler. I am only 23 years old. There is no reason i should have to live my life masked by a drug that was given to me when i didnt know any better. I began taking lexapro at SIXTEEN because i began having panic attacks. Doctors had no living clue what was wrong with me, and when they did figure it out I was treated as if I needed to be in a padded room by my psychiatrist who constantly asked if i was hearing evil voices. Anyways, for 7 years these "professionals" have had me on this. They originally started me on Lexapro, Seroquel , Welbutrin and Clonapin. Not sure what sort of a doctor would set someone up for a life like that. As i got older i realized i did not want to be on drugs my entire life and shouldn't have to be! I finally came off everything on my own except for Lex. I have tried to come off it before many times cold turkey and had to go back on, then they increased me from 10 to 20. I dont remember when they did that because on this drug i CANNOT REMEMBER ANYTHING that happens. EVER. I have not taken the drug on any sort of a daily basis for atleast 4 months now. I will do okay for a week or two and then the brain zaps start and i will have to take an entire pill to get through the day and go to work. I work at Walgreens which will really push your buttons when you are going through all this. Lately I have been close to wanting to strangle alot of customers because I really DO NOT freaking care if their freaking paper towels were supposed to be 129 or 139. It is becoming increasingly hard to be nice to the customers because I constantly feel like i am on the verge of turning around and ripping everyone to shreds. I dont know when the last time i took lexapro was bc like i said i cannot remember anything.I want my memory to be better. I feel like this drug makes me have the mental capacity of a kindergartener with a mental handicap somedays I am frustrated. Today the cramps are better. But nothing can make up for the fact that my brain feels like complete mush. Is there anything really in there ? I dont feel like i have a brain. The only reminder is the zapping feeling. Its okay if im laying in bed doing something but as soon as im moving around its bad. Shifting my eyes, bending over, everything will cause it. I do not want to take even 5mg of this stuff just to start coming off it again. I probably will have to though. I am either constantly so cranky i cannot stand to live in my own skin or i am so incredibly sad that I cry so hard for 30 minutes to an hour at a time. I am under a lot of stress and not sure what to do. My insurance stopped covering Lexapro anyways and they want me on the generic of Celexia. I havent started taking the celexia bc i dont want to and from what i have read they actually are nothing alike if i am understand that right. I have 2 or 3 bottles of Lexapro left still because that is how much i have missed on my dosages but have continued to get them filled "just in case" I have also had off and on a spot in my right eye that annoys the heck out of me. Fatigue , bouts of sheer anger- I went to mcdonalds to get a smoothie and realized i had left me debit card at home, then started yelling and cursing at the top of my lungs, began crying violently, came home and threw my keys and phone at the wall and then yelled and cried more. Not normal for me. In 2 days it will be the anniversary of my boyfriend of 2 years death. He was killed instantly in a car accident. I do not want to be on drugs to deal with REAL emotions. He is dead, a drug isn't going to change that. But with all this going on I never sleep during normal hours because i close nights, I never talk to anyone besides people at work because of my schedule. I just want to snap at everyone or stay in bed all day. I am not sure what I should do. Just needed to tell someone my story. Im hoping the zaps and the anger and sadness will get better soon. I feel absolutely insane.

OUCH! So much I need to tell you however, I have a busy day ahead thus; I will start with a short post.
1. Celexa is the parent drug of lex. It is very similar in chemicle composition however, it is more mild than lex and not as selective. Of the 2 med's, Celexa is the lesser of the evils. That said, it is your choice which med you take.
2. Re-instating your medication is NOT a setback. Regardless that it may feel that way, it is actually a step in the right direction. There is no true, easy way to discontinue SSRI med's but, there is a right way...doing it the "right way" will help ease symptoms. (More on that later)
3. Yes, your memory will improve. Currently your body is in a full state of withdrawal. A foggy brain is not going to remember much nor, will it function properly. Purchase a calender and write everything down, daily. A weekly planner worked best for me.
4. SSRI medications disturb hormones. (among other things) Especially in adolescence. It sounds to me like you have some hormonal probs going on that are likely a result of the medications. (again, more on that later.)

For now, take a deep, calming breath. You are among friends. Regardless of how you feel at this moment know this, you WILL get through this and you WILL get better. Hugs to you!
Erin

[hope_is_the_last]

Hi Deannarenae,

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad/ Taking a pill of Lex once a week or so (each time the withdrawal/brain zaps come) will not help you in the long run. It is putting you in a constant state of withdrawal and driving you crazy.

I agree that it is crazy they put you on all these drugs at the age of 16 and I understand you want OFF right NOW. However, these drugs will continue to make your life/brain/body crazy unless you get on a steady dose every day before you start tapering off slowly, veeery s-l-o-w-l-y.

To give you an overview of what I mean by that, these are the three major rules:
- do not reduce your dose by more than 5-10% (at each tapering step)
- do not taper by skipping days (do: take 20 mg every day, then take 15mg every day; DO NOT: take 20mg every day, then take 20mg every other day)
- do wait until all side effects from the previous taper are gone, before you taper again (usually takes 3 weeks,then give your brain an extra week to rest)

A schedule like that will reduce your withdrawal symptoms which also means it is better for your body/brain in the long run. Ask here if you need help creating a tapering schedule for yourself.

There is hope, but first of all you need to start taking your Lex more regularly. So you are taking 20 mg once week right now? Go back on 10mg per day. After you stabilize which should take about 2-4 weeks (no more brain zaps and feeling completely out of whack), you can start reducing your dose using the rules above.

All the best,
hope

PS: For terrible cramps, try taking a tablespoon of Blackstrap Molasses (I bought it at Whole Foods) dissolved in warm water. Take one per day during your period and a few days before/after.

[MF3452]

Still the same...every day is a complete struggle to live. The immense physcial, neurological and emotional pain is unparalleled with anything else on earth. You were smart enough to do a years long taper...I wish I did anything slower than I did and listened to my body and took as long as I needed to get off of these pills.

My life and body is is shamble right now and I literally have nothing left. I know I am in for years of this but just want to see some improvements.

What types of symptoms do you have?

Thanks for the reply. I'm sorry you feel like that. You're probably in Stage 2 withdrawal. I believe that's what I've got going on. Neck pain, Headache that feels like a tight band around my head. The inability to handle stress very well and some ongoing stomach issues. There' s also irritability and other annoying, minor stuff. You should read Aeroman's post on paxilprogress.org on 3/1/12. This might give you some hope. Good luck -Mike

[hope_is_the_last]

This is Day 2 of my new taper (from 1.4 mg to 1.1 mg). I am aware that this is a little more than 20%, however this is the tenth time I'm tapering and from past experience I think my body can handle it. I have done tapers of 5, 6,7,10,20 % and with the right preparations (supplements, good nutrition, exercise, last taper more than 6 weeks ago) I think I will be OK.

I have developed quite a bit of anxiety about tapering, but I am trying to control it with breathing techniques and pain and simple mindfulness and awareness. Anxiety... thank you Lex :-/ I have never had anxiety before taking Lexapro... my gosh, I'm ready to be off this j-u-n-k!

I hope you are all managing OK!

All the best,
hope

[Drummerboy81]

Hi everyone
im new to this site and have been reading some of the posts here trying to find a answer...

I have been on Lexapro for 7 years since i was 23, im now 30 and have had enough! Over the years i have put on 25 kg and have a very fatty liver AND Harishimotos disease (Thyroid disease) which have given me hives for the last 2 years.
I am unable to lose weight, my appetite is huge and i feel lost!

I have no doubt that Lexapro is to blame for my weight gain and liver problems and i am seeing a psychiatrist next week to help me get off them.

My question for you guys is...Do you think Lexapro can cause all these problems? Has it happened to any of you guys?
Im really scared of withdrawing as its been 7 years since i have been on them..

Any advice or anything at all would be so appreciated! Much love to all Frank

[hope_is_the_last]

Hi Frank,

unfortunately nobody will be able to tell you with 100% certainty if your health problems are caused by Lexapro. Weight gain is a very common side effect and from what others have posted here, the wait starts to go down slowly after you stop Lex.

The process of coming off is a long one and also has side effects, as I'm sure you've seen in the posts you've read on here. Especially after being on the drug for so long and having medical issues already, you should come off of it using a very slow tapering schedule to minimize the chance of getting long-term withdrawal effects.

See the basic rules for tapering in my signature. Do not deviate from them, especially not for your first few tapering steps. If you post your current dose, we can help you with a tapering schedule.

Your psychiatrist will probably have a much faster tapering schedule for you. You can post it here, if you want some more opinions on it. Usually doctors' tapering schedules are too aggressive and might cause long term withdrawal effects (we're talking years in at least some unlucky cases). Of course the doctors will disagree, but just read this thread... there are hundreds of people who posted here and are suffering for a long time.

Do not be discouraged though! It is possible to come off this stuff safely and without lasting withdrawal effects. There are examples of that here as well.

You can always come here to ask questions or just for support.

Just, whatever you do, DO NOT stop taking Lex abruptly without tapering down ("cold turkey")! It can cause serious withdrawal symptoms that can last for a long time!

All the best,
hope

Hi everyone
im new to this site and have been reading some of the posts here trying to find a answer...

I have been on Lexapro for 7 years since i was 23, im now 30 and have had enough! Over the years i have put on 25 kg and have a very fatty liver AND Harishimotos disease (Thyroid disease) which have given me hives for the last 2 years.
I am unable to lose weight, my appetite is huge and i feel lost!

I have no doubt that Lexapro is to blame for my weight gain and liver problems and i am seeing a psychiatrist next week to help me get off them.

My question for you guys is...Do you think Lexapro can cause all these problems? Has it happened to any of you guys?
Im really scared of withdrawing as its been 7 years since i have been on them..

Any advice or anything at all would be so appreciated! Much love to all Frank

[Drummerboy81]

Thank you for your encouragement and reply!
Im currently on 20mg i was on 30mg about 3 months ago..i also was on xanax for almost 7 years and gave that up on my own about 6 months ago.

I see a councilor regularly and im looking forward to seeing the psychiatrist next week.
I thought the xanax would be really hard to get off but it wasnt.

[hope_is_the_last]

You're very welcome. You're on a good path, being stable on a steady dose of Lex and seeing a counselor.

That's great that you could come off of Xanax easily. The Lexapro is helping with anxiety right now. When you are tapering, you might experience anxiety again. It is a common withdrawal effect, but should stabilize within two weeks after your tapering step.

Either way, following the rules for safe tapering will give you the best chances that your withdrawal will be relatively smooth!

Thank you for your encouragement and reply!
Im currently on 20mg i was on 30mg about 3 months ago..i also was on xanax for almost 7 years and gave that up on my own about 6 months ago.

I see a councilor regularly and im looking forward to seeing the psychiatrist next week.
I thought the xanax would be really hard to get off but it wasnt.

[hope_is_the_last]

I went to the dentist yesterday. It was not a good visit. For all of my life, the dentist would check out my teeth and say "Keep doing what you're doing. Everything looks great!"

Yesterday my dentist found SIX cavities and also felt the need to perform a deep cleaning (which includes cleaning UNDER the gum line, ouch!). He said it most likely has to do with my dry mouth, which is a known side effect of Lexapro and other anti-depressants.

I am tapering right now (Day 4!), so I am emotional and angry anyway. I am so so so so angry, at Lexapro, at having yet another thing to worry about, at life, at the unfairness of it all! My teeth were always so strong and healthy and now they're really suffering. I am also mad at myself for not catching it early enough. (I do brush my teeth twice a day and floss, though I should probably floss more often.)


Anyway, lesson learned: If you are suffering from dry mouth, a common side effect of Lexapro, please please please take extra good care of your teeth. Go to the dentist twice a year for a cleaning and check-up. Make sure to mention your dry mouth. Brush and floss twice a day, at least.

If your teeth have gotten more sensitive during your Lexapro use, watch out! It is a direct cause of dry mouth. Sensitive teeth means your enamel is not protecting your teeth very well anymore and you might be more prone to cavities. Use non-whitening tooth-paste (it's less abrasive). Use a toothpaste for sensitive teeth (example: Sensodyne ProNamel, available in most countries). Use a fluoride mouthwash (example: ACT Total Care Anticavity Fluoride Dry Mouth, available in the US; elmex gelee, available mostly in European countries).

There is also a mouth wash for dry mouth sufferers. It will help protect your teeth. (Example: Biotene, available in the US)

[crazyinms]

I have visited this forum many times over the past two years and I am blessed to have found it. In reading through it I have found that everyones situation is a little different but we are all still dealing with the same big issue, Lexapro and how to live with or without it.

At this point I am feeling like a crazy person and have no one in my life that understands what I'm going through. So here is my story....

I am a 27 year old woman. I have a wonderful family and a incredible husband. I know that I am blessed and I am thankful. All of this "crazyness" started for me about 3 years ago when my moms health began to decline. She had many issues physically and mentally. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression and was put on prozac and remeron. She was also put on high levels of oxycodone. She got addicted to prescription pain meds and a combination of that and valium took her life Thanksgiving day of 2009. The year before she passed away my dad and I had struggled to get her help and we were unable to. Which is still very hard for me to deal with. Then in June of 2010 I caught my husband in a lie that he had been keeping up for nearly a year. At this point I didn't have the mental ability to deal with my life. I went on for months not being able to function, I literally could not get out of bed. I had never been through anything like this, I had always had the ability to deal with things myself. So in November 2010 I went and saw my family Dr. (which was very hard for me to do, pride I guess) He prescribed Lexapro and told me it was a very mild antidepressant and I began taking 10mg once a day. The first month or so I was so happy with it. I felt like myself! I thought it was a miracle drug. But after about three months I noticed I was putting on weight, I have been about the same weight since I was 16, but I was dealing with it. Around month four I started feeling a little "foggy" So I decided to taper off because I thought that meant I didn't need the meds anymore and I was afraid to call my Dr because I thought he may up the dosage. So I began taking 5mg for a week then 2.5 mg for a week until I was off. This would have been about mid march 2011. By July 2011 I was I had so much anxiety I couldn't stand it (I didn't really have anxiety issues before lexapro) so I went back on Lexapro in August of 2011. I started feeling better, just like before and then a few months in I was like a zombie. I had become emotionless, I couldn't be happy I couldn't be sad, it was a very strange feeling. I lost all sex drive and desire for intimacy. I felt like a robot. In Dec 2011, after 4 months I decided I would rather feel ANYTHING instead of feeling nothing, so I stopped taking lexapro. At this point I feel like my life is falling apart. I am an emotional roller coaster. I am paranoid that my husband it lying to me all the time. When I confront him he gets angry which makes me even more paranoid and anxious. I'm not trying to bash my husband, we truly love each other he just does not understand. I think he feels attacked by me. For some reason he is the one person I need the most, but it seems I keep doing things to push him away.

I know I'm rambling. I just want someone to reassure me that this does not last forever. I don't know how much longer I can deal with being like this. Im afraid my husband is going to leave me because of this. I'm at the point now that I want to go back on Lex, just to get some relief. But part of me believes it will only make it worse in the long run. Any advice on whether I should start taking it again or not would be great. Thanks for listening!