[rujoking]

mimmie - a quick question - how does your anxiety manifest itself - is it a return of the w/d symptoms like the internal shakes and twitches, heart palps and racing, chest tightness? I surely do hope you are getting some relief - you have been very courageous and so great about coming back here....thanks...

Vesta - I agree that it would be VERY risky at this point to go back on....some people have success but many do not.....I hope you can continue with your positive outlook and strength - it IS good to get out......I struggled to do so for a long time - take it in baby steps...ie don't do too much too soon....

I do not tell people what I am/have been going thru.....first, they don't want to hear it because so many are either on a drug or know someone who is and they are still ok on it....or second, they don't believe you.....most still have a blind faith in doctors and pharma....sad for sure...

I think you should tell your pharmacist to viist this site and the paxil progress site....she could read about some supplements that help like magnesium and fish oil....it would also be nice to have her here on board to give a more clinical perspective!

mims and pboy - the mag glycinate came and I am sorry to say it did not agree with me - I took it two nights and ended up with terrible cramps and pain in my stomach (took 100mg) - I am not sure it it gave me a setback but since then my anxiety had increased a lot - I feel like I am back to a couple of months ago - with trembling twitches and heart palps....

I also took advil 2 days in a row (one cap each time) as my back pain has been pretty bad...so that could be the culprit....OR it is just a bad wave I need to wait out....today is better than the past two...

Aero - sorry to hear about your back also....hard to know if the acupuncture is working or coincidental huh? I am sure it can't hurt - have your tried massage?? I am leary of that as some people say it can make things worse....after the past few day I am not anxious to try anything new anytimes soon....

be well all,

ruj

[vestabula]

I think the hardest thing for me to accept about this entire experience is that I was on such a small dose for a year...somewhere between 7.5 and 5mgs...and the withdrawals are so severe. I belong to a fibromyalgia forum and have been a member for a long time. One of the members was on 30 mgs of this drug...which sounds insane to me anyway...however, she stopped cold turkey and had nothing but night sweats for a week. Not one brain zap. I think these are the kinds of scenario's the drug company's get their statistics from. Or maybe my experience is rare...I don't know anymore.

I have had a few days where the brain swishing sensations were not as frequent..thought I was over the hump then yesterday they returned with a vengence. I also woke up drenched in sweat...this is after almost 6 weeks off this drug. Is this common...to have some really tolerable days then have it hit again?

[mims]

mimmie -- I know you must be really tired of the ongoing struggles. I am in similar circumstances with my dishwasher which is much older than yours - I can't believe it is still working at all, but just can't make myself follow through with getting a replacement. You wouldn't believe what it looks like! My entire house is that way - everything needs to be repaired or replaced, and I've been just putting it off. I don't have the same physical response you're having when I think about making home improvements, but still unable to do what needs to be done due to inability to deal with the stress and difficulty making decisions. Not to mention financial issues, since I spent so much on medical visits and tests last year.

ruj - it's too bad the mag glycinate caused trouble for you. It hasn't solved my problems by any means, but it has really helped my sleep. I just can't believe how much better I'm sleeping. I do still have occasional flare-ups. Even the breathing problems come back at times --- for a while I thought the mag had almost completely solved that problem, but apparently it didn't because I had some breathing issues the past 2 nights.

Vesta, I did tell a few friends and family what happened to me. A couple of them were caring and understanding, but most are simply not able to understand, and because of that they don't seem to care. They don't even ask me how I'm doing - they just avoid the subject, even though they have to see that I'm struggling. It's an awkward situation.

Because of the response I got from a couple of friends, I decided not to tell anyone else I had taken a 'psych drug'. Even though it's used for everything from PMS to hot flashes.

I don't know what your frineds think about fibro - some misinformed people, as well as doctors, still have some negative ideas about that illness, too.

[mims]

vesta - I read somewhere that drug companies very carefully choose participants for drug trials. I don't know where I read this, or if it's true, but I read that they actually test people's ability to process drugs ( maybe liver enzymes, cytochrome p450, etc,) and eliminate anyone from the trials who gives any indication that they may have trouble metabolizing the drug they are testing. But in actual use, that drug is prescribed without such preliminary testing. (It's my guess that they probably also reject people who have previously used SSRIs or similar drugs-- just my opinion -- don't know that for a fact).

Also, Dr Peter Breggin wrote about how the information is sometimes manipulated before reporting results - that was an eye-opener for me. Have you read his book Medication Madness?

But apparently quite a few people do manage to take SSRIs and get off without all these problems.

[vestabula]

Mims...fibromyalgia is finally being recognized by some of the medical community as a true illness but from my experience is still perceived as a catchall, yuppie disease mainfested by a bunch of whining, complaining hypochondricas. I sometimes wonder if SSRI's are prescribed to treat it just to shut us up. It did virtually nothing for my pain or fatigue. But so many fibromites are committed to these drugs forever and that's okay. They are on so many painkillers, muscle relaxers, plus the SSRI's and I wonder how they function.

I wonder now if I should have just stayed on it...this is so horrific. My husband has been talking me out of reinstating for a week. I guess I didn't even realize what a emotionless drone I was while on it, and he must prefer this nightmare compared to that one. I thought my vision would improve, but it hasn't and now I wonder if it ever will. Oh well...one to eight weeks for being symptom free is the average? I hope so!

[mims]

vesta,
I think it's way too soon to know if you will have any improvement in vision. So don't give up hope yet!

I did have a psychiatrist tell me that most people get over the withdrawals within a month, but I have no idea if she's correct about that, or if that's based on her experience as a physician or on published drug trials. She may be attributing withdrawal symptoms to 'return of original condition' or psychiatric problems. But in order for doctors to think most people recover quickly, there must be some people who really do recover that fast, at least from the physical symptoms like zaps.

[vestabula]

I am even questioning if these weird brain sensations aren't just another manifestation of anxiety rahter than withdrawals. I have dealt with anxiety for most of my life and have had some very disturbing symptoms but never this. (and these started after getting down to 2.5 mgs) I read in a list of anxiety symtpoms that brain zaps are very common. I wouldn't even describe these as zaps...they don't appear to be electrical...more like a rush of adrenalin that makes me hear a swishing sound in my head when I move or blink my eyes.

Another week has gone by and I just try to ignore it.

Hope you all are feeling better!

BTW...my therapist all but begged me not to go on this drug, so he was a lot smarter than I gave him credit for!

[rujoking]

vesta - it is hard to know what is w/d and what is anxiety - I think it is both - the anxiety you have during withdrawal is 100% worse than the regular everyday variety....it is chemically induces and the fear feed the fear which creates more anxiety....

I would be very cautious about going back on a this point - it could make things worse - I know you think that just having stayed on would have been better than this (I think we all had those thoughts) but remember,, at some point the drug will stop working and you will be in the same place you are now - best to get off and stay off now rather than 4 or 5 years from now!

Hang in there -

mims - I was bummed about the mag glycinate also...send me your address and I will mail you a really big bottle!!!!!! I am now back to thinking it is time, time and more time that is the real answer here.....I read about other experiences and the same timeline for healing occurs for so many regardless of what they do......I just can't be that coincidental......take care

ruj

[mims]

Thanks, anyway, ruj, but when I ordered the mag, I ordered 2 big bottles, so I have more than a one-year supply remaining! Maybe pugcrazy can use them.
You might be able to return them to the store or the manufacturer for a refund???

I'm so sorry you had a bad experience with them. I just saw on PP today or yesterday that someone else posted the same problem with magnesium - he didn't say which form he used, but had a bad reaction - increased w/d symptoms.

[sstaylor]

Hello...this is my first time here. I've been on Lexapro for seven
years...10mg. I'm trying to stop taking the drug because I want to cut down on the meds in my body. I have systemic lupus and type 1 diabetes and this wonderful thing called depression. My psychiatrist diagnosed me as type 2 bipolar and has me on Lamictal, Geodon, Wellbutrin, Topamax, and Lexapro. We are starting the whittle down process with the Lexapro. I have been through a recent divorce and am also losing some hair. Has anyone experienced hair loss on Lexapro? Mine may be from stress but it is disturbing to say the least. I welcome any input. I have cut to 7.5 mg of Lexapro and have some mild anxiety but am doing pretty well so far. I am really scared about going lower too quickly and my doc is pushing me to go faster with the weaning process.

[vestabula]

Others have experienced hair loss, and I seemed to find a lot more in the bathtub drain after shampooing my hair but I never even thought about it being from the drug. Not until I read a few posts on this forum. Also, please don't let your doctor rush you through the weaning process. Everyone is different and some people will get off this drug with ease and I hope you are one of them... but so many of us experience unpleasant side effects...no matter how slowly we wean. Honestly? I am so upset with my doctor for telling me he never heard of anyone having withdrawals from 10mgs (which I took for fibromyalgia) that I am afraid to take any drug he prescribes. There are many excellent posts on here that tell you how to wean with minimal discomfort. And...if you happen to have some withdrawal symptoms, be prepared to hear that it is 'your anxiety/depression returning". NOT! Go slowly and do it over the course of months, if need be.

[sstaylor]

Thanks for your supportive reply. I will go through some of the posts here. And I am afraid of the anxiety and depression worsening but hopefully if I do go slowly the impact will be less. I, too, have fibromyalgia but it is not active at the moment (knock wood!). I've never heard of Lexapro for fibro. My rheumatologist suggested Cymbalta at one time but the psychiatrist said no and I can't remember why. I do think that Cymbalta has a painkilling element to it from what I've read. Has your doctor ever mentioned it?

[vestabula]

My doctor (a rheumy) put me on Lexapro instead of Cymbalta because I lost my health insurance and he had plenty of free Lexapro samples. I belong to a fibro forum and many of them are on somekind of SSRI or SNRI. Many are helped but a large number don't notice any difference in pain levels. Lexapro did nothing for my fibro pain and that's why I decided to go off(that, and the blurred vision)...Don't plan to try Cymbalta, Lyrica, Savella or any other drug in this catagory since my experience with this withdrawal. These are drugs designed to take for a lifetime, and poop out after several years so you have to up the dosage or try another drug. Good luck to you and hope you have an easy time.

[mims]

sstaylor --

Tapering slowly is supposed to minimize withdrawal effects, but since you're on other meds, is it possible your doctor wants you to taper faster because of potential drug interactions? Or will one of your other meds ease the withdrawal effects from lexapro, allowing a faster taper?? Or is he pushing for a faster taper because he doesn't think withdrawals are a problem - Some doctors are simply not aware of how intense and long-lasting the withdrawal problems can be for some people.

[sstaylor]

After reading some of the posts here I think he's just not aware of the withdrawal effects. He told me to cut to 5mg for a week and then to stop taking it. I tried that before about a year ago and had extreme anxiety and couldn't stop crying. He said that I needed the drug and I started taking it again. That's why (against his advice) I cut to 7.5 mg to try this time and came to this forum. After reading some of the posts I am caught somewhere between optimism and terror...

[pboy]

Does anyone know anything that can help with memory problems while on Lexapro? For me it's quite ridiculous, I don't know what I'm doing from day to day.

[spartangal]

I have been taking 20mg of Lexapro daily for the last 1-2 years. I went off this med (cold turkey) over 2 weeks ago. I have been experiencing severe head and ear congestion along with bouts of dizziness (which induces slight nausea). these symptoms come and go but they do not seem to be getting any better. In fact, at times I feel like they are getting worse. Can anyone tell me if these symptoms are related to stopping the Lexapro?

[SL500]

hi all....so this week marks my 12 weeks off of lexapro. i am scared. this
week has to be the worst week ever in my life. i am so depressed that its
affecting my functioning in life - dont get me wrong, i get up and go to work
adn come home and cook but it has never been this bad to have to drag myself
through the day. and now especially that it is dark when i leave work, i have
the worst anxiety driving home - even though it is with me all day, it gets a
little hightened during that time. i thinks its becuase i am so out of it that i
bring on the anxiety. or is it the anxiety making me so out of it? whichever the
case , i jsut need some reassurance that this is all part of w/d and that it
will pass soon. i have NEVER felt this bad. it actually makes me think i need to
be on something. Please tell me this is part of it or not!

[babybottom]

Hi Around three to four months I experienced extreme depression and nothing was good.Terrible anxiety.At the time I was not aware of this site and had no idea what I was going through.I was so tempted to take something.I cried all the time I was angry, irritable you name it I felt it.I was a wreck.It was THE WORST TIME IN MY LIFE.I never want to go back there.Oh, insomnia for about three months.Everything started to get better around a full year off the med.Just know what you are going through will end.I thought I would never feel better.I felt I could not take much more of it.My mind has cleared.I still have some anxiety and I think that that is the fear of what I was going through last year.Just read old comments too.That helps.You wil be ok, a little more time.

[babybottom]

I forgot to say, I stayed away from all SSRI's.I will never try them again.

[pboy]

babybottom, did you taper off Lex? Sorry I cant remember if you did or not. I know most people say that 4 months off is the hardest part, even auntybiotic said her daughter got that after weaning.

To all those tapering or off Lex, try these supplements to help with your symptoms:

Omega-3 Fish Oil to help with depression: get a good quality one with at least 1000mg EPA, take daily. I swear this does something! It gives you a feeling of 'wellbeing' and many studies show it helps with mood.

Magnesium Citrate/glycinate/malate for anxiety and muscle pains: start slowly (100mg) and work upto 500mg or how much you can tolerate. Too much can make you use the toilet a lot! It may not work for some, but many find it helps anxiety attacks. It can also help with sleep problems.

[babybottom]

No I did not taper.The first couple months weren't so bad,I was kind of feeling out of control but in a sexual way.I don't know how to describe it.The depression and anxiety happened about four months off.I don't know why but it did.

[sayyadina]

spartangal, I've been having issues with fluid in my ears and dizziness (to the point where I fainted) for a few weeks. Though my problems with this started around being off for 5 months. I also have allergies, which may contribute, and a bit of a family history of issues with congestion & sinus problems.

My doctor suggested taking some omega 3, since it reduces inflammation, and I found a flax oil that I like. You can also use fish oil, but I'm a vegetarian. Within the past week, I've finally started draining.

Haven't been around, since I've been feeling pretty good. My doctor put me on magnesium citrate, to help with the palpitations, and it has. I still have them a little, but they're better. Though I can only sleep on my right side, or on my stomach. Lying on my left side makes the palpitations worse.

Have been really sore, achy & stiff, but its also been quite cold here. I've been having this issue for years, and no doctor I've seen has been able to figure it out, since all my test results have been normal.

A bit of insomnia tonight, but not too bad.

[vestabula]

Hi all...well, going into week six and I am so disappointed that the symptoms have yet to cut me a break. The depression has set in...I sat in a chair and cried all day yesterday. My husband is staying clear...OMG. The hurtful things I have said. My family keeps telling me this withdrawal should have tapered down by now. Head swishing, waking up with heart thumps and palpations...crying...headaches...still here! It doesn't help that my son is deputy director for mental health for central NC...he says it is obvious I am clinically depressed and need to be on these drugs forever. I am 63 years old....have always had some anxiety issues but I never considered myself clinically depressed...the depression set in after my mother, father, younger brother, grandmother and MIL all died within two years. That's when I was put on Lexapro. (also for the major fibro flare I went into after all of that) I thought I had worked through the 'death issues' and because my vision was deteriorating I decided to go off it. Maybe I AM clinically depressed??? I am so confused and don't know if I should just take the stupid drug before I alienate everyone in my life. Have I NOT given it enough time? I did have two good days last week..is this little respit a good sign? Sorry if this story is a repeat of previous posts I have made. I seem to be sorry about everything right now.

[pboy]

Originally Posted by babybottom

No I did not taper.The first couple months weren't so bad,I was kind of feeling out of control but in a sexual way.I don't know how to describe it.The depression and anxiety happened about four months off.I don't know why but it did.

I can relate as I had that when I cold-turkeyed too.

I spoke to someone else and they got depression and panic attacks at about 4 months after tapering the Lex, so it seems very common. The two must be linked in the brain in some way.

[pboy]

Originally Posted by vestabula

Hi all...well, going into week six and I am so disappointed that the symptoms have yet to cut me a break. The depression has set in...I sat in a chair and cried all day yesterday. My husband is staying clear...OMG. The hurtful things I have said. My family keeps telling me this withdrawal should have tapered down by now. Head swishing, waking up with heart thumps and palpations...crying...headaches...still here! It doesn't help that my son is deputy director for mental health for central NC...he says it is obvious I am clinically depressed and need to be on these drugs forever. I am 63 years old....have always had some anxiety issues but I never considered myself clinically depressed...the depression set in after my mother, father, younger brother, grandmother and MIL all died within two years. That's when I was put on Lexapro. (also for the major fibro flare I went into after all of that) I thought I had worked through the 'death issues' and because my vision was deteriorating I decided to go off it. Maybe I AM clinically depressed??? I am so confused and don't know if I should just take the stupid drug before I alienate everyone in my life. Have I NOT given it enough time? I did have two good days last week..is this little respit a good sign? Sorry if this story is a repeat of previous posts I have made. I seem to be sorry about everything right now.

Vesta, what you are experiencing is very common for people who cold-turkey. And as auntybiotic always used to say, it's when the emotional withdrawal kicks in that people start truly believing (as you are) that they are clinically depressed and need to be on meds forever.
But what is REALLY happening is that the sudden withdrawal from Lexapro is making you feel this way. Irritability, anger, depression, crying spells, anxiety attacks, suicidal feelings, all these are included. I even get these while I taper my Lexapro, but they are managable.

My memory is bad but I think you were the one who quit cold-turkey from 2mg, right? Maybe you should go back to 2mg, stabilize, and then SLOWLY taper your dose down there. It will make life more bearable. Say, taper down by 0.2mg every 3 weeks.

Although I hate advising that because I am not a doctor or professional...I am just repeating what has been said on here before. I am sure somewhere it was said that after 6 weeks it's too late to re-instate Lexapro, though not sure.

I would go on http://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/ and post a thread on 'General Discussion' asking for advice about this, that forum is much more active than this site and you will get replies almost instantly. They will guide you through the process. They deal with withdrawal from any meds, not just Paxil.

[mims]

Vesta, I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. I think many of us are put on SSRIs after some kind of life events become almost overwhelming - you really did have a lot of grief in a short period of time with so many deaths in the family, in addition to the fibro illness.

When I look back to the time I first took an SSRI, it was a time of serious family stress - not grief or depression, just stress that was causing some health issues (jumpy heart). I was not getting enough sleep, and probably drinking too much coffee. I should have addressed the underlying personal problems instead of taking medication.

If you read babybottom's recent post, you'll see what seems to happen to many people after SSRIs- a period of depression before finally feeling better.
I think this is what keeps people in a drug cycle - not knowing that the feelings of depression may be part of the withdrawal and recovery process, they just think they really do 'need' drugs.

For me, the most depressing thing is looking back at the time I took the drugs and seeing what the effect was. SSRIs made me so tired I did not function well at all. If I had felt good on the meds and had any energy, I might be tempted to go back on, also.

I have much more physical energy now that I am sleeping better. Maybe you should give yourself some more time before making a decision about medications. Even if you really are clinically depressed, is there anything else that might be helpful? Like moderate exercise outdoors, lots of time with friends. How much does your fibro interfere with your activity level ?

I do think your 2 days of feeling better may be a really good sign. The people on the paxilprogress site talk about waves and windows. The bad waves of illness and worse symptoms are often followed by windows of brighter, more 'normal' times. People say that waves may come and go for a long time, but the windows of improvement and 'feeling normal' get bigger, longer, more frequent. At first, it might be just a few hours of feeling better, later on you might suddenly be aware that you have had a few good days, then weeks.
I've found this to be true. I get very discouraged when waves happen, but they are usually followed by an improvement in physical symptoms.

I'm still having some struggles with feeling - well, not depressed, but more like a lack of motivation. Some of that, I think, is just that I've developed some bad habits after feeling bad for so long.

[vestabula]

Pboy and Mims...thank you so much for your responses. Intellectually I know that most of this is withdrawals and I guess I really did stop cold turkey thinking 2.5 mgs for a week was sufficient. I wish (like so many) I had found this forum sooner. I'm in such a dark place it is scary. I have been going out every day (praying I don't hit someone when I have to turn my head to look both ways and get zapped) but I can't sit in a chair and cry. The hubby is staying clear...LOL. I hope when this is over he will forgive me. I complained about the way he was eating his soup last night...OMG. It sounded so loud it actually hurt my ears. (and I have Meniere's disease and am almost deaf.)

Thanks again. Oh...and what's with the high pitched ear ringing thing? I have tinnitus from Meniere's but it's nothing like this. Is that another Lexapro treat?

[rujoking]

vesta - I am holding out my hand - please, please take hold....

this is NOT you - these dark thoughts and feelings are your poor brain trying to sort out what has happened....please take it from me that it WILL be sorted out - it just takes so damn long and can drain the very light from your soul - you will not always be this way - all of the physical sensations you must endure are hard enough to cope with and when the darkness descends it all seems too much. We have all been there and can relate - it is no picnic, it is a mini version of hell, but it does get better....I cannot tell you when as we are all different but it does end! When I was at my worst I just learned to keep to myself and I barely spoke to anyone as I did not trust myself - I also did not describe my intense symptoms to anyone as I know my family would have whisked me off to a doctor and I would probably have been poly drugged to hell and back - this was my greates fear - I did not want to risk going back to square one or making myself worse - I am very glad now that I made those decisions. I am sure that your son is quite worried about you but he (like most medical professionals) just cannot comprehend the devastation this process entails and because they truly do not understand they want to relieve your suffering via the method they were taught to employ - more meds. I actually told my family I was in a terrible phase of menopause and that I need some time to get through - this enabled my to retreat when I needed to.

Be very gentle with yourself during this time - stay here and read back when you can - I helps to read that others have been in your place (actually is saved me)

We are here, we understand - take my hand.....


ruj

[mims]

vesta, I have the high-pitched ringing tinnitus, also. At times I also had sudden 'deafness', lasting a few seconds, or sometimes a minute or so, followed by ringing or whining noise. The nearly-constant high- pitch ringing didn't start until about the 7th or 8th month -- I hate to tell you that. But it is improving every week, and there have been some days in the past couple of weeks when I didn't notice it much until bedtime. . I also have some other head/ear noises when falling asleep sometimes - that was really bad at first, but like everything else, it's less frequent now.

I'm sorry you're still having zaps -- mine got better within the first couple of months as well as I remember, even though they didn't completely go away.
I still have something like a zap every now and then.

I almost never have headaches anymore. Only 2 or 3 since last spring. You'll get better as time passes, but it's hard to get through the first months.