[laurafish919]

Kimberoo:

That is what is so frustrating about this all too--I was completely someone who thought people who whined too much about not feeling well were attention-seeking drama queens. So now that i spend half the day at least analyzing how I feel or trying to just feel normal, I don't know--the thing is, you just hate yourself so much through this whole thing... it all seems so silly since we sort of did it to ourselves. I feel awful that your husband and you are losing out on times with your children... That must be the worst part.

I hope things get better for your husband. How long has this been going on? I feel this whole last year has been a wash. All I know is last June, I was 30 pounds lighter, excited to start law school, running about 25-35 miles a week, constantly busy, social... and now, I wobble home from poor-performances at work to lay on the couch. But actually, I must just be going through a good stage because in the last week, I've only had about two bad days. I was able to be productive all day, right until bed yesterday...so I'm hoping this lasts...

Oh the one thing I find really funny is how everyone says to exercise to feel better. I mean I used to thrive on exercise. Obviously I am more than willing to run and work out, but when you're so dizzy and nauseated that you can't walk to the kitchen, you certainly aren't going to be training for a marathon. Has anyone else been able to exercise with the withdrawal? i feel my brain is so delicate right now! Like it isn't attached properly to the skull...and they want me to jump around and cause even more dizzyness?

[tavee]

Hi Aunty-
It Is Day 5 On 1.5. Is Eye Twitching Part Of The Withdrawal Too??


I Also Was Thinking(just Thinking) What Would Happen If I Went Down From 1.5 To Like 1ml Or Nothing At All?
I Know I Know Dont Yell At Me. I Would Not Do It But I Am Just Asking. Do U Think I Would Really Feel It Knowing My History????

It Is Funny Though Becuae When I Taper I Totally Have Those Vivid Dreams Plus I Have My Period This Week So That Doesnt Help.

Any News From Ure Daughter?? How Is Europe??
Will She Be Gone For Long???

Dr Tavee

[Rosalinde]

Thank you for the response, Aunty. I'm going to get back on my regular dose until I can see my doctor and get liquid Lexapro for slower tapering. Do you recommend taking 4 weeks for each 10% taper?

How soon does the weight start coming off? I'm so discouraged about the 20 pounds I've gained in one year. I've always been an avid exerciser and hiker - a size 4/6 a year ago and now a size 10.

I have found a site that recommends taking lots of barley and omega 3. Have any of you seen this?

http://www.theroadback.org/workbook.htm

[laurafish919]

you know whats funny about the weight gain too is that it was so sneaky. I had NEVER heard a drop about how crazy lexapro might end up impacting me--but i did hear antidepressants sometimes make you gain weight. my doctor said the reason was because feel happier and they eat more. and i always ate more when i was sad so i figured i didn't even need to worry, plus, i'd notice even one pound so i'd never let it get to be more than a few pounds before i went off the medication. well then i gained close to 20 pounds in a few months. It seemed id feel out of it for a few days and then bam, 7 pounds heavier. and that weight wouldnt come off! It just kept building! it is such weird weight too. all watery and in my stomach and face. i never had fat there before.

anyways, does anyone have experiences with losing weight once off the lexapro?

[auntybiotic]

The weight is from high cortisol levels.................thats why in belly and face.Lexapro messes up the adrenal gland and causes the weight to pack on. When you get onto a steady slow taper you will lose your appetite, part of the withdrawal.

Once you are off the weight should come off, even then you can try Relacore for stomach fat from high cortisol levels,,,,,,,but check with your doc. The Carlson's Omega 3's will aid in weight reduction.

[auntybiotic]

Three to four weeks in between tapers or until you are stable. It will take about 7 days to feel the effects of the taper. By week three you are usually stable and many like to give their body a one week break before tapering again.

The Road Back is similiar to what supplements people here are taking but in their Name Brands and much more $$$$$.
The Barley consists of basically lecithin and inisitol and powered vegetables.

The Cherry Capsules may help with anxiety from the Road Back. I think ElazabethMarie ordered it.

The Omega 3 is similiar to Carson's brand, I actually prefer Carlson's brand. I know the source and that it is NOT contaminated or does not go rancid on the shelf, not familiar with The Road Back brand.

Feel free to try all the supplements from the Road Back, I am curious if they work any better then generic varieties.

[bking126]

Laura(fish): I have been reading this forum for about a week and am glad to see someone at about the same place I'm at. I too have been on the 10mg "low dose" for almost a year, and am hoping to wean off. So far it's only been a few days, but I can't decide if reading these posts makes me feel reassured or totally terrified of what's to come. I am doing the "cut pills in quarters" method at the moment, but I'm only at the first step - 7.5mg.

The #1 perk of this site is definitely the comraderie, as you mention... knowing that other people are dealing with the same issues -- which can indeed sound whiny to people who are used to feeling... normal. So far it's mostly been headaches that come and go, intense sleepiness that usually hits during my workday, and the very creepy feeling of detachment / spaciness which, incidentally, I also experienced for the first few weeks when I started taking this medication. I'll just be so glad to have it out of my system.

I'm having trouble deciding how long to stay at each phase. I've been reading tons of posts and obviously everybody's experience is different. I think I have maybe one more refill on my prescription after this one, and it just seems so convenient to wean myself off before the prescription runs out, but from what I'm reading that's probably too fast. I guess I'll just see how it goes. I've definitely got more reading to do.

Well.. there's my "introduction," such as it is, thanks to all of you for keeping this dialogue going and letting the rest of us jump in... and now I should get back to trying to focus on work. Ugh. It's just so easy to get distracted...

[Hairyarmadillo]

Originally Posted by SchnauzerTime

[B]Hairy

Maybe I tapered to quickly...I did the same taper you did but instead of waiting longer between tapers I only did 1 week between each. Maybe that finally caught up with me when I went from 1/8 of 10mg to nothing.

Do you think the best thing for me to do would be to go back on the 1/8 of a pill for 2 to 3 weeks then quit? Or to go ahead and tough it out?

What kind of withdrawal stuff did you go through? Did you have the tremors like I did sometimes? I'm thinking that if that is somewhat normal for withdrawal that I may just tough it out...but I just don't want to feel really bad long-term. I could probably stand real bad withdrawals for a couple weeks or so...but as far as months I don't think I could.

It's driving me nuts on trying to decide what to do...about whether I should go back on the 1/8 pill for a couple more weeks then quit or just tough it out.

Help!

Personally, I would go back on at least the 1/8 if not more. I HATE telling you that because I know how you feel like you are almost off it, but trust me on this-once you are finished taking the pill and the physical symptoms subside, it is not always over. I stand by my belief that somewhere out there is someone who doesn't have all this turmoil and can just go off it, no side effects later on. unfortunately there are so many people that are finding it is not so easy. At the very least, go back on the smallest dose you were last on when you felt close to normal. Then stay on it for at least 3 weeks or until you feel symptom free. Then, decrease again. And take the Omega 3 supplements and magnesium malate. It will pay off in the long run. Oh, and do extra dog loving-that does wonders

skorpeo72 WHERE ARE YOU??!! Are you still doing well? If anything, I am hoping you are feeling so great that you are forgetting about us. Please come back and brag if you are doing fantastic. We LOVE happy stories!

[elizabethmaria]

Freazytek,
I only took for a few days, and had a bad reaction too -- though other symptoms are slowly improving, still have bad constant headache, and my right eye is dialated and doesn't constrict well -- always burn it.. so, yup, that's normal! take care, ...


***************************************

My best advice for anyone in the 3-? month mark... JUST DON"T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING! It's a waste of time ... rest only, and be a total zombie as much as possible. Staring at the wall for hours IS a good pasttime, or maybe a flower ... allows the brain to rest, and you get a total several month vacation from the thought process.... the prescription for the 3-5,6,7 month mark is to 'take a vacation from your problems', permission to think only pleasant silly thoughts, nothing important, and just BE. You'll know when the party's over...and you'll be ready bodily and mentally too.. the LESS you think about things, the BETTER you'll feel.. just know that serious thought is impossible at that time... actually harmful I think -- so just relax, and enjoy the summer sun... and some healthy walks in the sunshine, sunbathing is an excellent hobby, housecleaning is good if you enjoy it - open the windows and let the warm air in... or just lie on the grass for several hours...

Ok, my two cents from what I've just been through, and still am going through!
love,
Elizabethmarie

[Hairyarmadillo]

Originally Posted by tavee

Hi Aunty-
It Is Day 5 On 1.5. Is Eye Twitching Part Of The Withdrawal Too??


I Also Was Thinking(just Thinking) What Would Happen If I Went Down From 1.5 To Like 1ml Or Nothing At All?
I Know I Know Dont Yell At Me. I Would Not Do It But I Am Just Asking. Do U Think I Would Really Feel It Knowing My History????

It Is Funny Though Becuae When I Taper I Totally Have Those Vivid Dreams Plus I Have My Period This Week So That Doesnt Help.

Any News From Ure Daughter?? How Is Europe??
Will She Be Gone For Long???

Dr Tavee

Funny you say that, Tavee, because I was thinking (JUST THINKING) last week that maybe you might be better off if you just went on to 0 mgs. LOL-But please don't do it!! That is EXACTLY what I ended up thinking and I just did it. but hey you have come this far on the slow taper, go on with it. Wouldn't it be great to get off it and have no other shoe to hit later. (haha-but it IS awfully tempting isn't it) Just don't do it!!! Besides it would be really good data to see how someone else on the very slow taper does in the long run. Just think of yourself as a guinea pig

[overtherainbow]

I'm having a hard time keeping up, and I don't have much time.

But, the good news, is I think I'm over a major hump.

It just "feels" that way. Every week has brought something different, and I'm not out of the woods yet. But I think it's going to get better and better.

So I think the moral of this story is to think and believe that you will get better, and ride each wave. Just hold on.

And yes, exercise did help me, even when I felt like ******************** or dizzy. Hard to believe, huh? Even a walk helped. It got better with every step. I know, it makes no sense.

If you're still reading, here's a bit of a synopsis of my month.

First week, dizzy which crescendoed by Day 7 but mood was aokay
Second week, sleepy (lots o' naps), weepy (tissues tissues tissues), and feeling low low low.
Third week, irritable, crabby, cranky
Fourth week, I would label this just plain crazy.

But on Day 27, I feel a huge, incredible shift into well-being. Go figure. It could be a fluke.

I will leave you with this lil tidbit I just happened to open this book to, the other day:

"On average, they [withdrawal reactions from SSRIs] persist for 7 to 25 days (range of 1 to 13 weeks)." (Peter Breggin's: Your Drug May Be Your Problem)

Geez, I don't know where he got that information, as there's no source, but I read this on Day 28 of quitting cold turkey (after decreasing over 6 weeks from 5 to 2.5 mg). And I thought, hmmmmm, maybe I'm at the top end of average. Okay, I'll take that.

Here's to wishing and hoping that everyone feels and gets better soon.

[Hairyarmadillo]

Originally Posted by elizabethmaria

My best advice for anyone in the 3-? month mark... JUST DON"T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING! It's a waste of time ... rest only, and be a total zombie as much as possible. Staring at the wall for hours IS a good pasttime, or maybe a flower ... allows the brain to rest, and you get a total several month vacation from the thought process.... the prescription for the 3-5,6,7 month mark is to 'take a vacation from your problems', permission to think only pleasant silly thoughts, nothing important, and just BE. You'll know when the party's over...and you'll be ready bodily and mentally too.. the LESS you think about things, the BETTER you'll feel.. just know that serious thought is impossible at that time... actually harmful I think -- so just relax, and enjoy the summer sun... and some healthy walks in the sunshine, sunbathing is an excellent hobby, housecleaning is good if you enjoy it - open the windows and let the warm air in... or just lie on the grass for several hours...

Ok, my two cents from what I've just been through, and still am going through!
love,
Elizabethmarie

LMAO!! I totally agree! There are all sorts of thoughts racing through my head and they don't stop so the busier I am, the better. Or if I am watching tv, something silly and light hearted. The only problem will be when I have to go back to school, since if I don't think, my students will eat me alive. But I will cross that bridge when I reach it. For now, I am vegging and not blaming myself for being lazy. And will NOT think about situations that bug me.
It would help if my golden retriever would hurry up and heal from her accident. THAT is a big stressor

[SchnauzerTime]

I'm totally depressed about all this now. I'm hearing I still may be sick 18 months from now??? That doesn't give me any hope at all. Just knowing I have to stay on this medicine 3 more weeks is depressing enough...then coming on here and reading I'll have set-backs all along the way sucks.

My husband is depressed on top of it all...I mean, I'm looking for something POSITIVE to look forward to and so far I don't see anything positive for my near future, just more sickness, yay.

And when yall say taper by 10 percent , do you mean 10 percent of your starting dose (for me it was 10mg) or 10 percent of the dose you are currently at (I'm at 1.25mg now)?

It's great that most of you are strong and have made it or are making it through this but I'm about to give up.

[Rosalinde]

Thanks so much Aunty and everyone else who posts. This has been very educational for me! Thanks to you guys, I'm becoming more excited and less afraid about beginning my taper and healing from this stuff. It is encouraging to know questions are answered and experiences are shared here.

Thank you!

[auntybiotic]

Originally Posted by Freazytek

I'm taking Risperdal for now an anti-psychotic wich decreases the serotonine and dopamine levels in the brain.Does this headache (who wont go away) occur because the misfiring from neurons or because my serotonine levels are to high??

The misfiring causes zaps.................But a side effect of lexapro are headaches.

What would make you think that your serotonin levels are TOO HIGH? Lexapro reuptakes the serotonin so it remains at the snyapses longer. The serotonin levels do not go up.

What Mg and how long have you been on Risperdal. Risperdal and Lexapro have a drug interaction thru the P 450 system.......if you were on Risperdal while taking lexapro, this could explain your reaction to the lexapro. Do you plan on tapering off the Risperdal?

aunty

[auntybiotic]

Rosalinde,

Get your supplements ready to go. Remember it will take about seven days to feel the withdrawals and if you taper slowly they will not be devestating.

overtherainbow,

So glad you are feeling better.......................I am praying this smooth road continues.

Tavee,

Now you tell me what may happen if you just quit.......................if you are curious speed up your taper a little and see if possibly you can handle it now.
Maybe 02. Mg if you are wondering...................let me know because you are really the only one that tapered so slow except for my daughter. So we are all anxiously awaiting your journey to zero! who knows you can be our trailblazer that has no aftereffects once you stop.....................WOW I hope.

[skyer]

EM,

Sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday about your question regarding dealing with a relationship right now. I don't have an answer for you since we're all different with our healing timelines, but I know that about halfway into my 7th month I started to think with some clarity. That's also when I started the fish oil. I mean, I'm getting ready to open my little store! I'm scared -- especially in my condition -- but I have passion again and can deal with some stress and that's allowing me to do this. Plus I have help from my fiance. If you told me two or three months ago that I'd be close to opening my store I'd say "no way"! It's odd...I can open a business, but still can't drive far...my limitations are very specific.

Anyway, you're lucky if this guy is wanting to see you after knowing what you're going through. Gosh, my own family has been scared of me and this "sickness." Just don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like he's trying to understand your limitations. All you can do is be yourself as best as possible with an injured brain. Again, I know we're all on different timelines, but I do see a little pattern...3-6 months is the worst and then after that things go uphill. I know they have for me. I struggle everyday, but I enjoy living once again. I'm very thankful for the progress I've made and you'll get there, too. It's been amazing over the past few weeks, but I still have slight depersonalization, anxiety, an angry stomach, fatigue, eye floaters...but I do believe I'm going to continue healing. I have too! I'm so not out of the woods, yet. Hope you're having a decent week...

xoxo

[kimberoo]

In my husband's experience, he gained 30lbs and held on to it all these years. (He started Paxil 13 years ago & switched to Lexapro the end of 2002, if I remember correctly) He would fluctuate in times of sickness but it always crept back on. In the past year he lost all 30lbs and I swear to God we eat almost every meal together, so now he weighs less than me and needless to say I hate him...j/k. He never dieted and ate pasta everyday ( so that accounts for my share of the poundage at least ). The funny thing is, I was looking at photos recently from September 2006 and his face was really bloated! And the only other place he ever gained weight was in his stomach, so if where you gain weight holds true for almost everybody than know that it does come off, possibly easier for some than others. He's been very active, until recently, so that could have a lot to do with it. It must be irritating having so many other issues to deal with, but at least you have an excuse for it being there and know that it will eventually shed off, my excuse is pasta! argh!! Ok, guys, I'm going to bed, just had chamomile and it's hitting hard. Btw.......I've started all of the supplements along with Benny, feeling much more energized, only thing is the Noni juice was horrific the first 2 days, got better today though. I mix it with a shot of OJ and chase it with a straight shot of OJ. Yeah, that's as strong as the drinks are gonna be in my household for a awhile.............Noni Screwdrivers!!!

[Freazytek]

Originally Posted by auntybiotic

The misfiring causes zaps.................But a side effect of lexapro are headaches.

What would make you think that your serotonin levels are TOO HIGH? Lexapro reuptakes the serotonin so it remains at the snyapses longer. The serotonin levels do not go up.

What Mg and how long have you been on Risperdal. Risperdal and Lexapro have a drug interaction thru the P 450 system.......if you were on Risperdal while taking lexapro, this could explain your reaction to the lexapro. Do you plan on tapering off the Risperdal?

aunty

I'm at 1,5 mg now,i once quit cold turley with risperdal but i had a bad experience,xtc feeling again in the morning and dilated pupils like crazy.
I'm taking the risperdal cause my head wont hurt like that anymore if i take it.
i have been 2,5 months now on risperdal.Whats your advice?
What could cause this constant headache from just taking one pill?

[SamZ]

Hi I was on Lexapro for around 4 months from the beginning of the year. i felt the drug hepld me in some instances such as confidence, however I felt tired and had constant Diaoreah. I was mixing this drug on some occasions with Canibus. I have gone cold turkey from lexapro for about 2 months now. At first I felt great and energized, however now everything seems a bit more effort at times and I have extreme headaches in the middle towards the back of my head. I just want to feel good. What can I do to ???????

[jolee]

I have been on different SSRIs over the years, 11+ years. I started gettng those horrible zaps about 6 or 7 years ago. It's not from withdrawal however. It just happens all the time but is much worse around PMS time. Sometimes radiates down to an arm. It sounds like static and I can actally hear it. It shoots up from the neck into the head. Really weird. Anyway just wondering if anyone else has had while on SSRIs not necessarily during withdrawal. It drives me nuts and Neurologist and regular docs don't seem to know what I'm talking about. MRIs normal just degenerative disc disease.

[laurafish919]

Does anyone have a list of the complete supplements they suggest taking? i am a HUGE fan of magnesium so now i'm interested in the other supplements people have found helpful?

BKing126: you made pretty sentences. but yes, i also want to not have to refill this prescription but I'm lucky, i have a big jar of 20mg so now that i'm at 2.5 mg each pill lasts 8 days.

So if one doesn't feel the effects for 7 days, I suppose I was especially sick last week from tapering from 10 mg to 5 mg rather quickly. Now i'm at 2.5 and plan to hang out here for awhile and then try to go to 1.25 even if i'm a big inaccurate because I'm cutting up the pills--Do I have to go back and take more than 2.5 because I tapered more quickly in the past? I am just terrified of messing up my next semester, starting in September. I also hope to be able to perform better at my current job.

This morning, I was so mad at my boyfriend for being an idiot that we started talking about breaking up. I don't want to do that at all but I"m sick of him going out with his friends and getting so drunk he doesn't even remember who I am. I mean, it doesn't happen that often but I'm constantly worried it WILL happen and I just don't want him wandering into the street and passing out in the sewer or something. But at the same time, I don't know how rational I am with this medication.

So I'm still a little unclear on the timeline--Elizabethmarie, you are saying I should plan to take a vacation from thinking in about 3 months starting from when i take my last lexapro pill?

Overtherainbow: thank you for the positive story! I love the days of clarity that emerge after long periods of foggy brained misery.

[laurafish919]

Schnauzertime: don't give up. I mean that's how I feel a lot too but I don't know how severe you mean it. I mean we really have no choice. I"m trying to find ways to make this an experience...something we sort of just try to suck anything good out of it that we can... Admittedly, I"m having a good day as far as the withdrawal goes except for the foggy thinking...I don't think I remember what it is like to feel completely alert. Is this what the medication does? Numbs you so you aren't completely in tune with your life, so nothing can penetrate you enough to upset you? I guess I rather feel alive! It's a countdown though... in about 18 months, we can all expect to be functioning as ourselves...whether that be good or bad, at least we'll be US again...

But there are things we can do. Oh I like how Elizabethmarie said to look at a flower at the 3 month point. If we're forced to be sitting and staring because we're so out of it, lets stare at flowers! and we should send mail. My friend told me sending mail is good for the soul. And walks, yes, we should all definitely go on walks. Instead of laying face down on my bed, I should force myself to go for a half hour walk first--or a 4 minute walk! There are still nice things out there. And we all just have to sort of baby ourselves a bit, even if that actually means trying to just ignore it a bit...

[Hopeful 285]

Hi Elizabethmaria,
I mailed the booklet to you on Monday. It is a gift. Do not send me any money. I sent you an email.
Hope you are having a good day!

[Hairyarmadillo]

Originally Posted by SchnauzerTime

I'm totally depressed about all this now. I'm hearing I still may be sick 18 months from now??? That doesn't give me any hope at all. Just knowing I have to stay on this medicine 3 more weeks is depressing enough...then coming on here and reading I'll have set-backs all along the way sucks.

My husband is depressed on top of it all...I mean, I'm looking for something POSITIVE to look forward to and so far I don't see anything positive for my near future, just more sickness, yay.
[And when yall say taper by 10 percent , do you mean 10 percent of your starting dose (for me it was 10mg) or 10 percent of the dose you are currently at (I'm at 1.25mg now)?

It's great that most of you are strong and have made it or are making it through this but I'm about to give up.

Schnauzertime The operative word there is MAY have symptoms for up to 18 months. And, if those symptoms should occur for 18 months, chances are that they will be intermittant, not constant, not to the degree you are having now and the good days are more with the bad episodes lessening and not as intense. Everyone is different. I have been off 11 weeks and still have some times of depersonalization. this weekend I had some depression and anxiety. Nothing that was dibillitating. And the farther I get from my stop date, the better things will be, even if the symptoms do come back to a degree. I lived through the worst of it-you will too. Don't cross the 18 month bridge before you come to it or you will wear yourself out with all the traveling and may not ever get to the bridge anyway. I know it is discouraging that this can't just be over but the next 3 weeks are going to fly by and then you are going to feel stronger. I am not going to lie and say it is all going to be roses, but it is not going to be anything that you can't face and still enjoy your daily activities. Taking the supplements will speed up the healing process too. So don't let this scare you. I swear, it is so do-able, you just have to take it one day at a time. And, who knows, maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who recovers very quickly without many symptoms at all. Sorry about your husband. Mine isn't depressed but he isn't supportive emotionally AT ALL and in fact has nearly pushed me over the edge. Probably why I ended up on SSRIs in the first place. ugh. but I love him.

EVERYBODY I was so ready to crack up-even got to the point of being 2% tempted to see if the doctor knew of still another SSRI I hadn't tried that would work But I persevered and am here to say "I'm BAAAAAAAACK!!" How can someone feel so hopeless one day and so hopeful the next? i am sure a doctor would say it is manic depression and put me on something else. Nope, it is those doggone stupid emotional side effects that tend to creep back. (Aided I am sure by caffeine and decongestants last week). Still waiting on my cherry extract so I can sleep, but am weaning myself off Benadryl and other otc sleep stuff, herbal though it may be. Hey if I can wean off Lexapro, this should be a cinch. am thinking a good part of this is psychological anyway. I took 1 benadryl last night and slept so tonight I am going to do 1/2 -will take the stress off and hopefully by then the cherry stuff will be in. I feel so much better-have already cleaned out my closet to find a dead mouse and am getting ready to get on the treadmill. So even when someone feels the worst, it does improve.

[laurafish919]

Hairyarmadillo:

Great post! So optimistic. You are completely right. And I mean, it sounds like most of us don't have terminal illnesses or sick children and so really, this isn't even in the category of horrible things...IT sucks and we seem to be losing a year of enjoying life, but its better than a lot of stuff. and it will get better and better. I was reading this message board for weeks before I started posting and so I feel like I know some of you. The ups and the downs..
I dont know what I'm saying. That's another thing...I'm so off and on with my opinions and ideas lately--completely inconsistent. Its making it hard to make decisions.

about how you said your husband isnt emotionally supportive, well how does that go? I guess I'm starting to realize the childhood romantic ideas of having this relationship with someone who is completely good and there for you just won't happen---I mean i don't treat my boyfriend perfectly so I guess I have to expect the same in return as well--but how do you guys figure out what to deal with and not? I never know what I should accept or what might turn into 30 years of hassle because I didn't get out when I should...Ive been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years now and knew him a few years before that, and I'm still learning new things... anyways, thats an exhausting topic so maybe I'll wait to approach that until later...

I'm still interested in the supplements that are suggested. I would like to stop and buy some in the next few days, so I would love to hear some advice!!

I think I've been overposting and rambling too much but i think i'm pretty much out of live humans to bother, and so I figure people can just skip any of my posts if they get too bored... I dont know. I'm sorry.

Good luck everyone! I wonder what it would be like if we were all in the same room. It might be funny or we'd all end up crying and throwing things...half of us would be asleep in little balls on the floor...or staring at the wall...or eating pizza and cookiess...

[laurafish919]

Tavee

I was scrolling through older messages on this website... I saw you posted months ago, are you still withdrawing? or did you go back on and you are trying again?

aunty I didn't realize what a great service you are performing. Is your daughter still going through this all or is she better? Do you just offer your support/knowledge out of the goodness of your heart?

If these answers have been given elsewhere, I would appreciate direction to their source. And I apologize for asking a repeat question...

[bking126]

Schnauzertime: Hang in there. I know it sounds quippy, but sometimes the things to look forward to, the good things, just have to be small things. In the worst of my depression I literally had to break it down into tiny goals -- making it to 3:00 in my workday without giving up and going home was an achievement I celebrated (and sometimes still do). I would make to-do lists when I was having trouble focusing, and they would be broken down into tiny increments that some people might call ridiculous... but then crossing off one item on a to-do list felt like a great success. Believe me I understand the depression, and the only way out of it is to keep moving forward, one little step at a time. And you will get through this withdrawal.

I personally cling to this quote from a woman named Mary Jean Iron :
"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth or bury my face in the pillow or stretch myself taut or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return."

[Hairyarmadillo]

Laurafish919 I am so glad there is no such thing as overposting or rambling on this forum I would certainly do my share at both. This has been my lifeline to sanity since I started.

Schnauzertime Are you ok? Bking126 has excellent advice (and I love the quote) Seriously, don't give up-you really have come a long way with this just deciding to get off of it. Right now I imagine you are feeling pretty frustrated and, trust me, that feeling is compounded by the effects of the withdrawal. We've all been where you are now-it does get better. I promise. And you will feel better having gotten off of it. I'm sending you a big virtual hug.

I am happy to say I FINALLY exercised! Didn't feel bad at all during (except for the normal part of it being so long since I did any good exercise) and 40 minutes was over before I knew it. Am sure I will feel it tomorrow but at least it is a start. Even though I was gasping for air and my heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest, I still didn't get dizzy or disoriented. Ok, I am lying about the gasping for air and heart part-I just did my weight workout and felt better having done it. Cannot believe I am feeling like this when I have felt so bad the past 4 days.

[elizabethmaria]

Laurafish,
PLEASE don't apologize for posting ! You can and should post as absolutely much as you would wish.. every post helps both you, and all of us here, and others reading, to know how you're doing, and how it is going - the ups and downs... I've posted at times what I felt were crazy posts - but everyone here understands... It is at times all we have to hold onto during this time! About the 3 month mark -- 3 months after you end lexapro (or other ssri's, your last pill) you can begin increased emotional symtoms.. etc,.. that's the time not to stress or think about what may be racing in your mind.. it just has to pass on it's own... And about exercise, depending on your physical condition, you can either work out, or just take gentle walks... it DOES really help, even if you're at a real bad time. I've found that one of the best ways, when my brain is totally in pain, etc.. is to take a short walk.. it really does ease symptoms for some reason, just don't overdo it.. I continued jogging every other day 20-30min from the very beginning, and walking on alternate days... plus some push ups,etc..even if I couldn't do anything else that day, always stuck to that - I think it keeps the body regulated... some days I did skip, due to absolute weakness, but very very few... anyways, just helped me a lot - that, healthy food, water and lots of prayer really does it!

Yes, about the 18 months.. don't freak out guys! usually it isn't that long, most people get better before that long.. there just may be lingering things that go that long - but it should be a lot easier... I had a real disaster time, and am doing slowly better now -- more good times, and sometimes feel like myself more, though there are still much problems to get through - and I'm at 6.75 months off.. everyone is so very different, you really can't tell!

Hairyarmadillo -
SO GLAD you're feeling better! yes, it's funny isn't it? talk about mania hee hee.. one day your going to die, then the next you're smiling... ridiculous! that's why I just gave up and went sunbathing on the lawn.. I'm like, forget it! I need rest, thinking is pointless, so I guess I'll just enjoy the sunshine and say my prayers in the sun - God can do the rest, his mind is clear and he's got plenty of energy.. so, like, total abandonement is a great spiritual step, and a fun one too, I take it pretty far, but He always comes through ... Yes, lately I've had TERRIBLE mornings, oh my GOSH.. I wake up, and for a few seconds am ok, then BAM.. totally psychotic thoughts, over and over I want to die I'm going to die, I want to die... can't move, all weak and TERRIBLE.. I'm even afraid to go in the shower cause the razor is in there.. then... after an hour or two.. it's gone, without a trace, and I'm humming away in the shower, have normal energy, saying some prayers... etc .. totally insane! then the rest of the day is ok mostly.. sooo.. crazy yes.. but that's just the way it goes! Boy, has it been BAD though, wow! I'm always amazed I'm still alive! I think it is a GOOD thing though.. I think what is actually happening, is that my brain is truly healing itself at night - I usually have deep jerks and twitches way early in the morning if I wake a bit.. That early morning deep sleep is when you do the deepest sleep and most healing, and I think the brain is healing that deepest damaged part - and to heal it, it has to deconstruct.. which would make you truly psychotic.. and I think that when I wake up in the morning, it's like the night highway road crews have been out repaving the road, (or reconstructing some very essential receptors), and they have had the road all torn up, and their cones and buoys and stuff is still left all over the road, haven't cleaned up quite before the morning traffic (waking up, thinking) starts up... so there's some crazy back up time, until they get it cleared mostly out of the way, so most of the traffic can make it through (foggy thinking day, sluggish, still some problems).. then they'll get back to work at night again! Actually, that's exactly what it feels like... Roadwork ..
ok, that's enough...
I want to thank you Skyer for your helpful notes... I am thankful that he is trying to be patient and understanding - it must be so hard for people when we seem all over the place.. Again, I'm so happy and excited about your store!! Is it a clothing store?? hmm.. if so.. what kind's of clothes? like... I love shopping for clothes.. .. and anything... Is it in downtown Portland? take care, ..

Ok, I am at work, and had better get started on something productive .. Take care everyone... THANKS HOPEFUL! I haven't read your email yet, but will sometime soon... THANK YOU FOR THE ROSARY DEVOTION BOOKLET.. I haven't gotten it yet, but in advance !love,
Elizabethmarie