[speechy]

hi guys...
lex wife~ i am SO glad to hear that your husband did get all the tests first (for IBS). I am so sorry that his anxiety is so horrible. I have always had a little nit of anxiety, but i was on a med for IBD that made me really anxious...thats why i started on lex...

so now i really do need to talk. lately, i have been having a hard time. i like my job (im a speech therapist...i work mostly with autism...also other special ed)...but i have a REALLY hard time getting out of bed to go. i wake up and think of excuses. i have always had a hard time getting up...but this is bad...and different. i feel like i may be going through a mild depression. may be an effect of the lex...may not. but either way...im haiving a rough time. i just have NO energy or motivation. i used to love going and walking through the mall..or in a cute down town area to window shop...now all i want to do is lie in bed.

i have been planning on joining a yoga class...and getting more exercise. does anyone else have any other ideas that may help me out of my funk? im really starting to worry about myself! i have never been like this before.

[hmcbrien]

Hello all!

Speechy,
I believe yoga is a wonderful way to give yourself that extra boost. Any type of exercise will affect you positively, and yoga will definitely heal your mind. Other suggestions would be to write or paint, even if you don't think you have an artistic bone. It doesn't matter if it's good, it's just the release. I am on day 13 and am steadily feeling better. Still jittery, and the 35 lbs I put on from the Lexapro is going to take time to come off. But oddly enough, I've been smiling more lately. Yes, I cry at the drop of a hat, but now simple things give me passion. It seems like when I was on Lexapro it calmed me, but also desensitized me to things. I am a writer and was wondering why I couldn't get inspired to write...now I have a head full of ideas.

I think the one common bond all of us have in this forum is rather telling. No one's doctor has ever warned them of the consequences of being on Lexapro. Sure, a doctor will jump to place you on it, but not once did I ever hear, "Don't stop taking this pill, it has bad side effects." I guess that shows how easy it is to medicate.

[auntybiotic]

Lexapro Withdrawalers.

I am so glad that I started this post. I was so worried about my daughter withdrawing from Lexapro. She is presently down from 20 Mg to 11.2 Mg and still slowly tapering. Her doctor knew nothing of the withdrawal symptoms so in search of answers I asked others withdrawaling from Lexapro for their advice.

All I can say is thank you to everyone that has shared their experiences and have helped others thru support and for being a shoulder to lean on thru these sometimes bewildering episodes.

I have had some criticism from a few posters........... but overall I really do think many have been helped and have learned from the the experience of all of those that have posted on these 27 pages.

Keep sharing............... because there are many thousands of persons reading our posts that are getting support and strength knowing that they are not alone in their reactions to stopping lexapro. Reading an account of anothers reactions can help them compare symptoms and not feel alone.

You are all the greatest. I will keep each one of you in my thoughts for a safe recovery.I really do appreciate your time in posting.

[auntybiotic]

Katie,

Not wanting to get out of bed and withdrawaling from activities that you once enjoyed are lexapro withdrawals. Even if you have totally stopped lexapro it can take up to a year for the neurotransmitters in your brain to regulate.

Are you taking Omega 3 Fish Oils. These can help naturally with drepression. Also a Crystal Salt Lamp is a natural way of controlling depression. I just bough one on ebay for about $20.00. Try and keep your spirits up..................just remember that withdrawal symptoms are a temporary inconvenience. You are so lucky to have a job that you love. Things will get better. You can even talk to a alternative doctor that treats depression with amino acids..................a natural approach. Then there always is chocolate!!!!!!!

[bodyelectric]

Aunty,

I was thinking about that very thing earlier today. Thank you for your initial post. This thread has had well over 63,000 page views. Either we really have too much time on our hands and keep checking the page over and over...or else there are a lot of people reading that aren't writing. So the effects are widespread. I know it has helped me. I've actually started building a site (with a 24-hour chat room) specifically for withdrawal symptoms. I'll let y'all know when it's up. Knowing me and my "projects," it could be awhile.

I'd like to think that the people who were so critical -- I read some earlier in the thread before I got involved -- were just living through some negative side effects. It's easy to get testy when you don't feel good. I've been short with my wife...and the cat.[V] And, with so much (mis)information out there, it's hard to know what to believe. I think skepticism is healthy so long as you're not rude about it. No need for that.

Then again, I've noticed this forum isn't exactly the hotbed of mental health, me included.[}]

Hope everyone stays dry and that those in TX and LA have found a safe spot to weather the storm.

I'll shut up now.

[bodyelectric]

Research shows...

Dug into the medical databases last night to see what I could find out. Been spending a lot of time in the touchy-feely alternative sites, heard rumors about "permanent damage," and wanted to get a scientific perspective.

Here's what I found:

1. Practically no research at all has been done on the long-term effects or withdrawal symptoms from escitalopram oxalate (Lexapro), even now that it's been on the market for several years. My guess is that the two studies I found showing withdrawal symptoms in less than 10% of cases was funded by Forest Labs.

2. Most SSRI research was done in the 90s before Lexapro came out.
There is quite a bit of research on citalopram (Celexa), Lexapro's first cousin once removed. I contacted some of the researchers whose work seemed to show that yes, SSRI withdrawal from Celexa can be terrible, to see what they know specifically about withdrawal from Lexapro. Oddly, most of these researchers live in the UK, Canada and Australia. Interesting, no? I guess there's no money in that kind of research here.

3. Here is what one researcher I contacted wrote me this morning. Quoting from Dr. Nick Coupland, Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Director of the Psychopharmacology Research Unit at the University of Alberta:

"they do occur with lexapro - I've not seen them be permanent with any drug - the longest I've seen is about six weeks"

Glad to find a doctor (and researcher) who is at least sensitive to what we're experiencing. And notice that he reports only what he's "seen" himself.

4. I'm waiting to hear from Dr. Peter Haddad, who seems to be Britain's SSRI withdrawal expert. In a not-so-recent study, he writes:
"Some of the symptoms seen on SSRI discontinuation, such as nausea, lethargy, insomnia, and headache, are similar to those reported with tricyclic discontinuation. However, SSRI discontinuation is also associated with novel symptom clusters, including problems with balance, sensory abnormalities, and possibly aggressive and impulsive behavior. Although generally mild and short-lived, discontinuation symptoms can be severe and chronic and have a major impact on the patient's lifestyle. The incidence of discontinuation symptoms varies widely among the different SSRIs; the highest rate is seen with paroxetine. The variation in incidence might be explained by the different pharmacokinetic and pharmacodynamic profiles of the SSRIs." Haddad P, Newer antidepressants and the discontinuation syndrome, J Clin Psychiatry. 1997;58 Suppl 7:17-21; discussion 22.

Note that "chronic" means lasting 3 months or more, by the definition of the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics. It might mean something slightly different in the UK.

5. Many of us may be experiencing SSRI Withdrawal Syndrome (also called SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome). I know I am. Putting a name on it might help you. It scared me. I'm not a fan of syndromes. Here are the criteria if you want to try your hand diagnosing yourself, doc: http://www.psycom.net/depression.cen...ithdrawal.html. Note that you have to meet all criteria A through E, and you have to have at least two of the symptoms in group B. I've had most of them, but not all, thank God. Note to self: Also keep in mind that if you're not a doctor, you have no business diagnosing anyone, including you.

6. Severe SSRI Withdrawal Syndrome is treated by putting you back on the SSRI. Symptoms should go away in 48-72 hours. Researchers suggest that once symptoms get better, come off the SSRI more gradually than before over a period of weeks. Under a doctor's care, of course.

7. Despite a wealth of evidence for sometimes severe withdrawal symptoms from SSRIs (i.e., the stuff your doctor hasn't read even though it's in the big medical journals), research doctors report that misdiagnosis is very common by fellow doctors who interpret the symptoms of SSRI withdrawal as a recurrence or "relapse" of the condition you're being treated for (major depression or GAD, for example). A French report states:

"Because the symptoms of antidepressant discontinuation include changes in mood, affect, appetite, and sleep, they are sometimes mistaken for signs of a relapse into depression. Thus, it is important to directly question patients about new symptoms that occur during antidepressant discontinuation to optimally manage treatment discontinuation." Lejoyeux M, Ades J, Antidepressant discontinuation: a review of the literature, J Clin Psychiatry. 1997;58 Suppl 7:11-5; discussion 16.

That doesn't mean that you won't slip back into depression or anxiety, so please monitor yourself closely. My wife is more objective than I am, so I've given her permission to tell me to go back on the meds or try something different if it looks like I'm depressed instead of withdrawing.

8. There are NO documented cases of permanent damage. That only means that if it happens, no scientist has written about it (see #1 above). I looked as many places as I could think of, and the sites that mention permanent damage are fora like this one. Mostly in the form of questions (Will I be like this forever?). The reports of permanent damage I found are all second-hand. Of course, if you're brain-dead it might be hard to write. But there's nothing in the medical literature about permanent damage. I'm interpreting this to mean that if it happens at all, and I'm skeptical that it does, it is extremely rare. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

9. There is evidence that taking an SSRI while pregnant can cause lasting withdrawal symptoms on the child.

10. According to research, SSRIs are not addictive, at least in the traditional sense. People do go back on the med to relieve withdrawal symptoms, but not compulsively. No one has Lexapro cravings, and no black market has appeared to peddle Lexapro illegally. As a recovering addict, I can speak to this. Even though what I have been experiencing for a few weeks now has been really nasty, a huge inconvenience, and has cost me a great deal of money in lost income (freelance writer) and affection (shrinking away from friends and family), it doesn't even compare to coming off the hard stuff. Maybe that's why I'm concerned but not freaking out -- it's not my first time at the rodeo. But I know others are having a worse time.

11. A Swedish study reports: "Treatment with SSRI drugs in patients without clinical major depression or anxiety disorder is often unjustified and should be discontinued." Ulfvarson et al, Controlled withdrawal of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor drugs in elderly patients in nursing homes with no indication of depression, Eur J Clin Pharmacol. 2003 Dec;59(10):735-40. Epub 2003 Nov 1.

12. Withdrawal symptoms vary by drug. Paxil has the highest incidence, Prozac has the lowest. Lexapro does not appear to have been in a comparison study yet. I had a comprehensive list of SSRI withdrawal symptoms (there are close to 50) but can't seem to find the study at the moment.

Not from research

1. If you are trying supplements or alternative therapies, please tell us what they are and where to find info about them. It would be nice to compile all of these into one post so that we can refer new folks to one place when they ask.

2. I've noticed that a little bit of structure goes a long way. As a self-employed person who doesn't feel good, it is very easy to languish away the day doing nothing. Imposing structure, like enforced get-up time, enforced bed-time, set meal times, etc., helps but is hard.

3. Write a gratitude list. I have a running list of things that are going right in my life. Keeps things in perspective.

4. Meditation is good. This might not be the place to say it, but prayer also works, so long as you're not whining or telling whatever it is you beieve in what to do. Try gratitude.

5. I'm waiting for someone to tell me to shut up. Sorry I write so much. Have a good day.

[anxiouslywaiting]

Hi John..

I quit Lexapro 10mg 8 weeks ago (this monday will be 8 weeks) and the first thing I noticed (aside from all the "normal" withdrawal symptoms) was the anxiety came creeping back. I have good news....it does seem to get better. I've been taking vitamin supplements (multi-vitamin, B supplement, fish oil and magnesium) regularly as well as going to the gym 5 days a week along with a weekly therapy session! The crushing pain in my chest (that only Klonopin would seem to help relieve) is slowly but surely going away. My therapist tells me that the anxiety may never go away completely, but I can learn to control the symptoms and the panic attacks. I refuse to go back on these dibilating medications ever again, so for now, I deal with the anxiety and mild depression by trying to stay positive and physically active. It does work!

Good luck to you and remember to keep smiling, even when you feel you've hit rock bottom.

quote:Originally posted by JohnC

Hello,

I was on Lexapro at 40 mg for 6 months. It helped with some anxiety but not with depression. 6 weeks ago my doc had me wean down 10 Mg each week. I have been off Lexapro for 2 weeks. I started Zoloft 5 weeks ago. Started at 25mg, then 50mg and then to 100mg a week ago.
I think my depression is a little better but I am having HIGH anxiety and panic attacks almost constantly that started around a week ago. Is this Lexapro withdrawal (I had many other withdrawal symptoms but this is the worst, or is this caused by starting the Zoloft? How long will this last? I am barely sleeping I am so wound up by anxiety. I have been taking some Klonazepam to try and help with the anxiety but it barely makes a dent in the anxiety. Please help me understand what is going on... will the anxiety settle down? Please help. The panic attacks just spiral me down into depression.

Thanks

John

[concernedlexwife]

Thanks to everyone. After reading your responses (and a lot of other info on the net) we've decided that my husband is not going to start taking the Elavil in addition to the Lexapro. The meds were prescribed by our very young, general family doctor and we're just not convinced that he's informed enough about these drugs. So we're going to look for another doctor and see what they have to say first.

I also want to wish you all the best of luck. I hope that you're able to overcome all of the terrible side effects and withdrawl syptoms that you're facing.

[sheenaweeble]

I went off lexapro 10mg two weeks ago and I'm a mess. I've had those shocky symptoms people have discussed and I'm exausted. I also felt some flu-like symptoms a few days ago. I honestly didn't think to call my doctor about tapering off. Stupid me.

I've got an appointment on Tuesday to speak to her but I wonder if it is too late to really do anything now.

This sucks. If I had known the problems getting off of it I don't know if I would have gotten on it in the first place. Panic/Anxiety is not as bad as all this.

[bodyelectric]

Sheena,

First off, I'm no doctor, but I've been doing my homework. A lot of doctors are misinformed about withdrawal symptoms, but you should still work closely with them for your own safety.

You might see how it goes between now and Tuesday. Or you might call in today to your doctor about going back on it (see #5 and #6 in my research post above - the site I mentioned is http://www.psycom.net/depression.cen...ithdrawal.html -- the link above doesn't work with the period at the end of the sentence). Then taper more slowly. 10mg is not a huge dose, but it doesn't seem to matter. Lexapro is potent stuff and apparently has effects on serotonin levels that can last awhile.

"Auntybiotic" is tapering her daughter very slowly, so you might ask her for info. In a previous post a week or so ago, I stated that you should come off as fast as you can bear, deal with the symptoms, and get on with life. [u]I wish I hadn't said that</u>. The symptoms can last a long time, it seems. Weeks or even months. Flu-like symptoms are "normal," but again they can knock you out for quite some time. They can go away and come back. Tapering slowly seems to be the key and doesn't shock your system so much.

Various people have listed nutritional supplements, yoga, exercise that seem to help. Several are mentioned in the early pages of the thread, and there's more on page 24.

Concernedlexwife,

Congratulations on making an informed decision. I hope the best for both you and your husband -- maybe you can get some rest from the Restless Leg Syndrome (have you read about it?). Do stop in later and tell us how it goes. I will say that going off Lexapro, despite the withdrawal symptoms, has improved our, shall we say, "marital" life considerably. Not only is there increased desire to perform, but also ability. I had had anorgasmia for months (good for her, but only to a point, then it was just frustrating and a point of anxiety for us both), but now no problem. Pre-ejaculation is a studied side-effect of Lexapro discontinuation, but luckily it hasn't been a problem for me.[:0] Again, best wishes! I have an overwhelming feeling everything will work out fine for you two.

[crazygal]

quote:Originally posted by sheenaweeble

I went off lexapro 10mg two weeks ago and I'm a mess. I've had those shocky symptoms people have discussed and I'm exausted. I also felt some flu-like symptoms a few days ago. I honestly didn't think to call my doctor about tapering off. Stupid me.

I've got an appointment on Tuesday to speak to her but I wonder if it is too late to really do anything now.

This sucks. If I had known the problems getting off of it I don't know if I would have gotten on it in the first place. Panic/Anxiety is not as bad as all this.

sheena if i was you i'd hang in there the worst will soon be over. the doc will probably recommend taking them aain to see if the withdrawals go away. they will but this will make the process even longer. i went off straight away and after a couple of weeks the doc suggested i started taking them again and wean off slowly. this was a couple of weeks after i had been off them. i took just one at this stage then decided that as i had been off them so long i would just ride it out.if you can hang on for another week or so i would say go for it. weaning at this stage might be long drawn out process so i guess you need to decide if it's worth it for you to start taking them again just so you can wean off slowly.
good luck whatever you decide

[happy_again]

Yes sheena withdrawing from lexapro really sucks!!!

Today has been a particularly bad bad day...[xx(][V]
8 days without the 20 mg/day, 4th day feeling "weird".
My dizzyness/shock sensations that seem to be so common, are worse today. I also had some very mild flu like symptons like runny nose. Tried to go to work but couldn't do much and definitely didn't feel safe driving at all... Got home in the midle of the afternoon and sat on the couch with a pint of chocolate ice-cream [](no, I didn't eat the whole thing)!!! hehehehe!!!

Ai, ai, ai... People need to start doing more research on how to "treat" withdrawal effects, or even better to dimish them. But at least we have other people to talk to who understand what each of us are going through. I felt even happier for that today. If I hadn't found out this group I would be miserable right now...

Just out of curiosity can anyone tell me if these effects are due to a lack of the medication, in the sense that your organism got used to it and now that it's not taking it or taking less it's complaining, or is it due to small amounts of the drug that is still in your system? Or both?

[bodyelectric]

Your system got used to producing less serotonin because Lexapro was doing all the work of keeping a healthy level without the body having to make more serotonin. Your body is trying to figure out what happened and is taking some time to readjust. So you are experiencing a drop in serotonin levels, causing dysfunction in the frontal lobes of your brain, specifically rostral anterior cingulate function. Don't ask.

This makes your brain send you "error reports" in the form of symptoms. It's temporary but undeniably yucky.

The frontal lobes are involved in motor function, problem solving, spontaneity, memory, language, initiation, judgement, impulse control, and social and sexual behavior. The frontal lobes are also thought to play a part in our spatial orientation, including our body's orientation in space (Semmes et al., 1963). I guess that explains the dizziness. Changes in the lobes can also make you sort of depressed and psychopathic. People with head injuries and frontal lobe damage are often changed forever, so count yourself lucky.

Your liver is hard at work cleaning out the rest of the Lexapro, it does linger a little while, but I don't know if that adds to the symptoms or not. Symptoms are generally attributed to low serotonin, at least from what I've read to this point.

[TrishCA]

Bodyelectric,

Thank you so much for all the time you're spending with us. Knowledge is power. You are empowering us all by sharing your research with us and thanks to you we are also able to better inform other people outside this forum. God Bless You

[marhjhf]

The 29th day off Lexapro 10 mg:
I am still taking 100mg of Buproprion.
I continue to lose weight - 8lbs since I stopped. I am really happy about that. My desire to eat has really been supressed. I'm eating about 3 meals per day but find that I'm more in control of the in-between times and really have the feeling of being full most of the time. I get by at night by drinking herbal tea. (If you have a Trader Joe's near you, they've got great selections.) I am not sure if it's just being off Lexapro or if the Buproprion is kicking in a little more.
I'm finding that after going to sleep, I wake up after the first hour. I usually then stay up for about hour then go back to sleep. During that wakeup hour, I do have more of an urge to eat but also find that I have more control of the cravings than while I was on Lexapro. I find myself waking up a second time (around 3:30ish) but I return to sleep after 15 or so minutes.
Headaches are gone but I'm still getting dizzy when lifting up my head or looking down. My memory appears to be better. I have noticed that I am less anxious and I don't seem to be victimized by my mood swings as much. I had a restless leg syndrome throughout the transition and that has lessened a bit, too.

[bodyelectric]

Thank you. You just made my day. I just want to understand what is going on in my body, what will make me feel better and how soon. Glad to share what I find with people in the same boat. Taking part in this forum is good medicine for me. Thank you for your feedback. I've been wondering if my long posts were annoying people.

[happy_again]

Bodyelectric,
thanks a lot for your answer! Really, you're the "expert" of this group! It doesn't matter if we need more scientifically explanations (like me) or just some simple understanding of symptons, you are always present sharing the lots that you've learned about it with us!!! You're doing the homework for yourself and helping us all!

I wish I could tell my brain: "hey it's ok now, you can do it without the medication..." If it were this easy...

[bodyelectric]

Thanks again. I'm no expert, but I do like to research, so I'll use your compliments as license to write another really long post or two.

Your malfunctioning pineal gland, vivid dreams, sleeping problems, and the Lexapro/serotonin connection

Can't sleep, not even tired, so I'm following the white rabbit tonight, and the more I find out, the more revealing it is. This rabbit hole goes deep, and it has everything to do with Alice in Wonderland.

There is good reason why we're feeling the symptoms we are. The good news is, it's all in your head. The bad news is, you're not imagining it. Or maybe that's the good news. Anyway, your brain is messed up. That should be no surprise. But wait...there's more...

Low levels of serotonin in the frontal lobes explain a lot of our withdrawal symptoms -- bad memory, poor judgement, restlessness, lethargy, outbursts or manic behavior, dizziness, "different" feeling depression, psychopathic and sexually uncharacteristic behavior.

Many of us have had other side effects, also. I haven't gotten to the bottom of the visual problems and "brain zaps" yet, but we have time.

Then there's the sleeping problems. Difficulty sleeping. Vivid dreams so real it takes awhile to realize they were only dreams. Dreamlife that seems very real and waking life that doesn't seem as real as it should. Sleepwalking and acting out dreams. Sound familiar to anyone?

Lexapro has messed up, for the time being, your pineal gland. It's a small blob in the center of your brain where a lot of serotonergic activity (reactions involving serotonin in one way or another) takes place -- or at least it's supposed to when Lexapro isn't interfering.

Lexapro is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. That means that Lexapro keeps serotonin bouncing back and forth across your brain, which means you don't have to keep producing so much serotonin all the time to feel good. You don't have to keep producing so much seratonin, because not much is "reuptaken" (it's not English, but you get the drift).

It's a great idea, especially for people who don't have enough serotonin in the first place. (As an aside, I found some genetic work that claims that alcoholics and people with panic/anxiety disorders have a gene that prevents "normal" metabolization of serotonin. For alcoholics, at least, it seems to be related to your body's inability to make B6 properly, so add plenty in your diet. And though beer has B6, I think, that's probably not the road to take. Funny how we crave what our body needs, even if it makes us crazy or kills us.)

So this plan is a great idea. The problem is, the human body was not designed (or evolved, take your pick) to work that way. Think of serotonin as aluminum foil. And think of Lexapro as mandatory recycling. You are a pineal gland. No matter how many times you use the aluminum foil, you're not allowed to throw it away. You have to keep reusing it, over and over. And in the meantime, because there are no customers anymore, Reynolds goes out of business. Plus you've had to spend so much time figuring out what to do with this same piece of aluminum foil, you've had to let many of your obligations slide. On the other hand, you've had no choice but to deal with this now nasty piece of foil, so you have specialized and become a real used foil expert.

You get sick of it all and move someplace away from Lexapro, your recycling tyrant. You go to Panama, a tax haven where the weather's always good, the beach is great, no hurricanes plus cheap drinks. And no recycling. Life is good, until you cook dinner. There's no foil because you threw that last piece away when you fired the recycling Nazi...and the foil companies went out of business, and by now that's the only thing you know how to deal with. What a catch-22.

I believe in recycling, but only to a point. I think when it comes to the pineal gland, that's pushing recycling too far. Sometimes you need to throw the foil away and tear off a fresh sheet. Just like your pineal gland should be able to throw away serotonin when it doesn't need it, then get some fresh when it needs it again. Besides, your pineal gland has some other really important things it needs to do besides being locked down by this seratonin recycling business. But it can't because of our old friend Lexapro.

Besides its serotonin "monitoring" function, the pineal gland is the only gland in your body that converts serotonin into melatonin. But it only does it at certain times of the day. Like plants, humans have certain chemical processes we carry out in the daytime, and others we need to do at night. It's called circadian rhythm, or circadian cycle. Or in plain English, your body clock. It's why we need sleep in the first place -- so our body can take care of the things it can't do while we're driving and yapping on our cell phones.

The pineal gland keeps serotonin going by day, allowing you to do your daily stuff you need to do -- like function without troublesome brain zaps or uncontrollable car-kicking. Then it's time to "reuptake" the seratonin and convert some of it to melatonin so your body can carry out its night-time functions, like sleep. But because Lexapro doesn't allow this to happen properly, because the serotonin keeps bouncing -- back and forth, back and forth -- melatonin takes a back seat and your circadian rhythm goes haywire. The line between waking consciousness and dreamlife can become blurred, and sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. Your body's not sure what time it is...is it time to get up and do stuff, or is it time to dream? It might do both at once.

Welcome to Wonderland.

My question is, following this logic, why then were we able to sleep (some of us) while taking Lexapro, but not when we came off? This is what I think the answer might be, though I can't find research to back it: Some serotonin is still available for conversion to melatonin while we take Lexapro. When we stop taking Lexapro, there is a dramatic drop in available serotonin for conversion to melatonin. Taking a melatonin supplement should really help you sleep and dream normally after taking it for a few days. No promises, but that would make sense.

There is more to the story.

This has been proven. (Getting tired now, so I won't hunt the study -- if you're interested I'll try to find it again.) Sunlight triggers some reactions that help you convert certain chemicals into serotonin. This makes perfect sense, especially because low serotonin is also the culprit in seasonal affective disorder. Pale white people (people with little melatonin in their skin) need at least 15 minutes of direct sunlight a day, according to one researcher. She also states that people with darker skin pigments need more, depending on how pigmented you are. By the way, creams can block those processes, so you will need a short unprotected time without cream. I don't know if cream plus a longer exposure does the trick. I think there's no coincidence there between sunlight, serotonin production, melatonin, sleep, skin, and mood. Actually, I think it's quite amazing.

It's no wonder, then, is it, that people of northern European descent, who traditionally lived in northern climes where there is much less sunlight at certain times of the year, are very light colored with little melatonin to protect them but need less light, and those of us descended from Africans or South Asians, for example -- people who live farther south by the equator, where there is plenty of light year-round, have a darker complexion with melatonin to protect us but we need longer exposures? Again, by design, by evolution or by coincidence, you pick. But either way it's beautiful. We humans are amazing creatures.

[auntybiotic]

Body Electric,

You are amazing!!

I have researched this process since January and you explain it so easily. To shed light on your question as to why one can sleep on Lexapro but not after stopping.

While on Lexapro, the body does not make more serontoni\, just soaks the receptors longer in the serotonin. After awhile the receptors shrivel up and do not function because they are not needed.

When lexapro is stopped suddenly or quickly...............there is no longer a "reuptake agent Lexapro" to soak the fewer neurotransmitters in the serotonin....so we experience all the signs of serotonin deficiency. But suprisingly we are not low in serotonin as many think and wrongly use agents to increase serotonin.

We are low in receptors to utilize the serotonin, therefore if one tries Saiint John's Wart or SamE or any serotonin enhancer.........many experience serotonin syndrome.

In all my research, I have spoken to hundreds of patients and a author of a book relating to this subject.............the answer in safely getting off Lexapro and any SSRI is to VERY SLOWLY withdrawal. Doing this allows the brain to carefully regulate the "less serotonin" caused by fewer neurotransmitters and to begin to repair the damaged shriveled up receptors. Rates of success have been proven with the "never reducemore then 10% of your present SSRI (Lexapro) dose. In many cases the reduction must even go to 5% or less.

This very gradual tapering gives the brain time to adjust to the lesser serotonin available and to "repair itself" utilizing the fewer neurotransmitters and possibly repairing the damaged shriveled up receptors.

Please in your research, look up the Cytochrome P 450 system because this is the missing puzzle piece to this way ou tof "Wonderland".
Lexapro compromised the P 450 system. Many of those taking it areor become slow metabolizers or are unaware that they are also taking a cometeing drug that also uses the P 450 system.

When two drug compete for the same enzymes in the liver for metabolizing the drug, often LEXAPRO levels get increased to toxic levels. This happened with my daughter with Biaxin and Lexapro taken together.

I have spoken to the head of the Mayo Clinic regarding this P 450 system. Those taking Lexapro should avoid Motrin, Advil, Xanax, Valium, Zantec, Grapefruit Juice and most all over the counter nasal decongestants. These can all cause serotonin sysndrome when taken with lexapro. The list goes on for about 100 medications. I will try and scan the list and post it for everyones saftey.Didnotwant to bore the readers.

I have purchased every book written on withdrawal and antidepressants. Dr. Anne Blake Tracy's book is by far the BEST. I will post the information on ordering it later.

You are a person after my own heart. I will not leave a pebble unturned in my search to get my family member off of this Lexapro with "no brain damage" and as few withdrawal effects as possible.

Melatonin seems to be the answer but it is NOT. It CANNOT be taken at the same time as Lexapro due to the P 450 Chtochrome sytsem. Please research Flockhart P 450 Cytochrome system and Antidepressants and help all of us to understand it as you do so well at explaining. (You must be a teacher)

If it will not bore evryone I can scan articles researching this but it may discourage those needing support.

You are doing a great job "Professor" ............please enlighten us on the P 450 system and my question that I can't seem to find a answer.

Can Zithromax and Lexapro be taken together?? EvenPfizer, themakers of Zithromax were unsure. My daughter needs a macrolide antibiotic for a bacterial infection and since Lexapro...............this has been a problem because of this P 450 system.

Also another HUGE piece to this puzzle is that Lexapro can double the cortisol levels each time it is taken. These high levels cause adreal fatigue and the horrible weight gain that does not seem to come off. Lexapro seems to damage the Adrenal function, Weight loss will come once this system is repaired and functioning.

I better end now...............I don't want to make anyone fall asleep.

My ending words..................VERY SLOW TAPERING even though may seem counter productive because you are staying on this horrid medication longer...............has proven in the long run to be less harmful for the body and brain. The neurotransmitters will slowly be able to readjust if very minimal amounts are withdrawal about every four weeks. Imagine pulling a rug from under one's feet. This is what happens when one quickly stops Lexapro.

Keep up the good work. I love reading your style of writing. I have been employed in the medical industry for 30 years and we are just beginning to see the tip of the iceberg with the problems with the SSRI's.

aunty

[auntybiotic]

quote:Originally posted by auntybiotic

Body Electric,

You are amazing!!

I have researched this process since January and you explain it so easily. To shed light on your question as to why one can sleep on Lexapro but not after stopping.

While on Lexapro, the body does not make more serontoni\, just soaks the receptors longer in the serotonin. After awhile the receptors shrivel up and do not function because they are not needed.

When lexapro is stopped suddenly or quickly tapered...............there is no longer a "reuptake agent Lexapro" to soak the fewer neurotransmitters in the serotonin....so we experience all the signs of serotonin deficiency. But suprisingly we are not low in serotonin as many think and wrongly use agents to increase serotonin.

We are low in receptors to utilize the serotonin, therefore if one tries Saiint John's Wart or SamE or any serotonin enhancer.........many experience serotonin syndrome.

In all my research, I have spoken to hundreds of patients and a author of a book relating to this subject.............the answer in safely getting off Lexapro and any SSRI is to VERY SLOWLY withdrawal. Doing this allows the brain to carefully regulate the "less serotonin" caused by fewer neurotransmitters and to begin to repair the damaged shriveled up receptors. Rates of success have been proven with the "never reducemore then 10% of your present SSRI (Lexapro) dose. In many cases the reduction must even go to 5% or less.

This very gradual tapering gives the brain time to adjust to the lesser serotonin available and to "repair itself" utilizing the fewer neurotransmitters and possibly repairing the damaged shriveled up receptors.

Please in your research, look up the Cytochrome P 450 system because this is the missing puzzle piece to this way ou tof "Wonderland".
Lexapro compromised the P 450 system. Many of those taking it areor become slow metabolizers or are unaware that they are also taking a cometeing drug that also uses the P 450 system.

When two drug compete for the same enzymes in the liver for metabolizing the drug, often LEXAPRO levels get increased to toxic levels. This happened with my daughter with Biaxin and Lexapro taken together.

I have spoken to the head of the Mayo Clinic regarding this P 450 system. Those taking Lexapro should avoid Motrin, Advil, Xanax, Valium, Zantec, Grapefruit Juice and most all over the counter nasal decongestants. These can all cause serotonin sysndrome when taken with lexapro. The list goes on for about 100 medications. I will try and scan the list and post it for everyones saftey.Didnotwant to bore the readers.

I have purchased every book written on withdrawal and antidepressants. Dr. Anne Blake Tracy's book is by far the BEST. I will post the information on ordering it later.

You are a person after my own heart. I will not leave a pebble unturned in my search to get my family member off of this Lexapro with "no brain damage" and as few withdrawal effects as possible.

Melatonin seems to be the answer but it is NOT. It CANNOT be taken at the same time as Lexapro due to the P 450 Chtochrome sytsem. Please research Flockhart P 450 Cytochrome system and Antidepressants and help all of us to understand it as you do so well at explaining. (You must be a teacher)

If it will not bore evryone I can scan articles researching this but it may discourage those needing support.

You are doing a great job "Professor" ............please enlighten us on the P 450 system and my question that I can't seem to find a answer.

Can Zithromax and Lexapro be taken together?? EvenPfizer, themakers of Zithromax were unsure. My daughter needs a macrolide antibiotic for a bacterial infection and since Lexapro...............this has been a problem because of this P 450 system.

Also another HUGE piece to this puzzle is that Lexapro can double the cortisol levels each time it is taken. These high levels cause adreal fatigue and the horrible weight gain that does not seem to come off. Lexapro seems to damage the Adrenal function, Weight loss will come once this system is repaired and functioning.

I better end now...............I don't want to make anyone fall asleep.

My ending words..................VERY SLOW TAPERING even though may seem counter productive because you are staying on this horrid medication longer...............has proven in the long run to be less harmful for the body and brain. The neurotransmitters will slowly be able to readjust if very minimal amounts are withdrawal about every four weeks. Imagine pulling a rug from under one's feet. This is what happens when one quickly stops Lexapro.

Keep up the good work. I love reading your style of writing. I have been employed in the medical industry for 30 years and we are just beginning to see the tip of the iceberg with the problems with the SSRI's.

aunty

[bodyelectric]

Do you think that was why my belly was so big? I didn't have much fat on the belly, though it did stick out. It doesn't stick out so much anymore, and the little bit of fat is still there. Looks like I've been doing major ab work, and I haven't. I'm wondering if my liver has been swollen ever since I started this Lexapro. I had a beer gut before I went on it, but I stopped drinking years ago now. I think Lexapro might have given me beer gut replacement therapy.

I have taught English at a refugee camp, and I was a bilingual 4th grade teacher in the Bronx for 6 weeks till I crumbled. Those kids ate me up and spit me out. I was in the pricipal's office all the time, always in trouble. No, teaching wasn't for me. I am a freelance writer. I do this kind of stuff everyday, but usually for a magazine or web site or something, not for myself. I mostly write ads and web sales content, so I'm what's called a copywriter.

Before that I was a substance abuse counselor for a few years. I had to make a lot of analogies.

I was recently contacted to ghostwrite a book for a doctor about the many benefits of sunlight. He sends me a big box of research and tells me his opinion. I use the research to organize it into English, and turn it into something Joe Blow can actually understand. More to the point, something interesting Joe would want to read and will buy. This doctor had some very big claims. I dismissed it as quackery, turned the project down. Now I think there's something to it. I might call him.

Thanks for clarifying some stuff. So omega-3, SAMe, and the vitamins and minerals are very important for rebuilding those receptors.

Thanks for the scoop on melatonin -- like 5-HTP, it should only be taken after you're totally off the SSRI.

By the way everyone, I'm about to go into my third week without Lexapro at all. Haven't had many symptoms the last two days. A little dizziness, a few brain zaps (I hardly pay attention anymore), some insomnia, but symptoms are 85% better.

[speechy]

Body~
You are great!THANK YOU for all you have contributed to this site. I have been enjoying all the great reading on this topic that we all suffer from!!

Aunty~
Thanks for your response. I AM lucky to love my job...if I could just get myself out of bed!! I have the good days and the bad..like we all do. Today...saturday...has been good. I actually woke up ready to get some work done!

My two cents about weight gain...

I am one of the few that did not gain weight on lex. I maintained about the same weight for the past few years...125 at 5'7". The month i graduated with my MA i gained 5 lbs...which is the same time i first stopped tkaing the lex. I still have those darn 5 lbs. BUT...one thing I have noticed, is that i was definately bloated more on the drug...and now i am not.

I have been lex free for about a month now. no zaps, no dizzyness. just a mild depression sometimes (and remember...i wasnt on it for depression! so its not something "coming back!")

Good luck to you all. Look forward to more educational posts!!

[LexaproNO]

I have been off Lexapro cold turkey (from 10 mg) for 3 weeks. Good news - I am feeling MUCH better, after 3 weeks of dizziness every time I stood up quickly or turned my head fast.

I am now dealing with the things I was too numbed out to do - like earning enough of a living to carry my expenses! The person in this thread re: Lexapro withdrawal who characterized the drug as putting one on short bungie cords (no big highs, no big lows) was sooooooo right! (I would give you credit, but am working like a dog to catch up with what I should have been doing!) It is probably good as a crutch or a helper to get thru a problem or life crisis or a bad phase, but I think that for me I should have been on it for a short while, not almost 3 years) then I should have worked out what I needed to do to make life changes non-chemically. I have a lot of catching up to do, and a few people in my life I have not payed enough attention to I need to deal with. I have not been a good friend or family member, but I think they are big enough to understand and welcome me back. I hope so. I can blame me, and I can blame my doctor who didn't know enough about this drug and just kept renewing my prescription, but blame aside, I can get moving.

I must say that I feel invigorated and ready to take on (in steps, nothing radical) what I need to. I won't do it all perfetly, but I'm in charge, not Lexapro!

This forum is great, and I in no way feel I'm some 3 week wonder who is finished with this drug. Just because the dizziness has subsided enough for me to drive doesn't mean the effects are over- just that I am on the path. I will be with you for some time, because this was a long road in and will be a long road out. I'm so glad you are all here!

[Krisy]

Wow ! i have been reading this topic because when all my bad story started with the Methadone, they send me to a spicologist and the first thing he jumped with was give me free samples of Lexapro, and please don't asked me why, i was affraid to take them, so there they are, sitting on a drawer, never took them, and when i discovered this site, and read all what i've been reading, it comes to my mind, 'somebody up in the sky still wants me here in earth' and not dead.

I did a research on Carbamazepine vs. Lexapro, and after all i was going thru with the Methadone, they would have killed me.

Wish you all the best.

Krisy

[Krisy]

quote:Originally posted by bodyelectric

Aunty,

I was thinking about that very thing earlier today. Thank you for your initial post. This thread has had well over 63,000 page views. Either we really have too much time on our hands and keep checking the page over and over...or else there are a lot of people reading that aren't writing. So the effects are widespread. I know it has helped me. I've actually started building a site (with a 24-hour chat room) specifically for withdrawal symptoms. I'll let y'all know when it's up. Knowing me and my "projects," it could be awhile.

You said it ! "...or else there are a lot of people reading that aren't writing."

Myself was one of them and i have send the link to at least 10 friends that are almost out of control and they have been in Lexapro for some time, and the more they read from all of you, the more they are trying to ge out, but the problem has been they don't get much help from doctors, because they are convinced that Lexapro is the most wonderfull drug for depression, my friends are getting help from all of you ! THANKS !


Please have all my support for all of you, and I'm convinced that the idea of doing a web site is wonderfull, I myself promised, that when i'm back to normal, after the hell i went thru with Methadone, i will start a web site to help others, if I can't take to Court the "f" Doctor who put me on Methadone, at least I want the world to read my story.

I'll be arround.

Krisy

[bodyelectric]

Hey Krisy, and whoever else is up too late or too early,

A little bit about substance abuse and antidepressants

Good for you. I'm glad to see you're angry. It's an important part of the healing/grieving process, and key to your methadone recovery. Key to our Lexapro recovery, too. Are you going to NA? I go when I need a break from AA. Like most I'm dually addicted, not to methadone, but it doesn't really matter in my book.

Once you move through some of the anger, I hope you'll find that sueing the doctor will be a waste of time and money even if you win, not to mention feeding negative energy. Try to stay in the solution, not the problem. Your doctor was probably doing what he/she thought was best for you at the time, even though methadone is always a bad idea. But even the best doctors can't know everything. It's impossible. A specialist can do their best to stay on top of all the drugs in their specialty, but 1,000 other new drugs come out outside their specialty that may have negative interactions. I can't imagine trying to practice medicine today, staying on top of all the research, plus being there physically for the patients in crisis, then have some sort of normal personal life outside of work. After working in drug/alcohol treatment I considered going into addiction medicine and started taking the prerequisites for med school. I realized it wasn't for me 3 semesters in. I thought it had been a waste of time, but turns out it wasn't. All the chemistry, nutrition, psychology and research methods are still fairly fresh on my mind, and I've been able to use them here to figure out what's happening to me off Lexapro, and some people say it's helped them, too. So I believe everything happens for a reason. Even your methadone addiction. You might think I'm crazy, but if you stay clean, a few years down the road you might even be grateful for your methadone addiction. All that bad stuff that happened to you and all the bad stuff you did, once you deal with them and the other people involved, will give you an appreciation for life, a richness of living, and a selflessness and gratitude that you could NEVER have had if you hadn't been through hell and come out on the other side. People who live on easy street can never enjoy a life like that, they just complain and take things for granted. That's a blanket statement, but there's a degree of truth in it.

So take care of yourself, okay? It sounds like you are. I can't remember whether methadone is an opiate or an opioid. Either way, an antidepressant can really help in the beginning of recovery. Keep it open as an option for a safety net in case things get rough on your rollercoaster ride -- dealing with these Lexapro effects is nothing in comparison to dealing with a relapse. I promise you that antidepressants won't cause you to steal, cheat, lie, sell your body or end up in handcuffs in a state-sponsored taxi. If you relapse on methadone or switch drugs, all bets are off, as you well know. I'd be happy to chat with you more about this, but not on this forum. It's for Lexapro issues. Feel free to email me directly, or we can start another topic discussion somewhere else about antidepressants and substance abuse recovery.

My new set of Lexapro withdrawal symptoms

My first two weeks off Lexapro gave me:
fever
nausea
brain zaps
dizziness
total lack of energy and initiative

Those symptoms are all but gone.[8D] But I have new ones:
insomnia
violent thoughts
rapid thoughts
constant thirst
the worst nicotine cravings I've ever had
hot and cold flashes

I relapsed on smoking while trying to come off this stuff for the 2nd time back in May -- now the 4th attempt and I got smart(er) and didn't do it cold turkey, though coming down from 40mg to zero in 10 days under dr's orders was still too fast.

The violent thoughts have been aimed at one particular family member who lives several hours away over something petty he said last Thanksgiving. Weird it doesn't bother me till now, but at least he's safely away from the Jet Li moves I've been playing in my head.

These symptoms aren't nearly as bad as the first wave of symptoms, and I didn't even notice them at first, I was so glad to be feeling better. But it's been a couple of days now, and I definitely notice them.

I think I'm experiencing some hypomania, something I've never had off of antidepressants. I had it first on Zoloft, then worse on Welbutrin. Never on Lexapro, with or without a mood stabilizer -- I tried it both ways. I've not taken SAMe out of fear this might happen. I suppose I could be bipolar, but the jury's out on that one. It's not bad, like I said, it's actually sort of fun, so I'm going to give it more time before making any major decisions.

[auntybiotic]

Body Electric,

Mania and hypomania are withdrawal induced symptoms. My family member experiences this for about 2-3 days when her dose is tapered each month.

It does resemble bipolar but I would not accept that "label" at this time because of all that is happening in the brain with the lexapro withdrawals.

I have stayed in contact with several people that have quit lexapro. You may experience in the weeks ahead. "Disassociation.................where you may feel like you are not a part of your body, like you are viewing yourself from a distance" You may feel like a "outsider" in your own family at times during the day. With those that I have stayed in contact with...........this symptom did go away completely after about three to four months. Everyone experiences withdrawl differently but several have mentioned this dissociative feeling so that is why I am mentioning it. For those that went thru this depersonalization feeling..........they took one to two ounces of Noni Juice daily and said it helped.

Bosy Electric,
You do have a very effective way of relating your experiences that gives the reader a up close and personal look into Lexapro withdrawal. I am very happy that you are so active on this forum. You are helping so many understand the physical and emotional aspects of withdrawaling from lexapro. This is great for those of us helping a loved one thru this ordeal. Ever think about writing a much needed book on these experiences??

[TrishCA]

Lexapro Free Days: 14
Over the counter Daily: (1)Vitamins & Minerals (2)Fish oil (3)Calcitrate
Other prescribed medications: None

My brain zaps are a lot milder now. I have been craving lots of water even during the night. My moods, going from crying to ballistic, have improved. Overall, I'm doing much better, more energy, stronger, better outlook in life. I am planning to add 5 HTP (what do you think?). Thank you for your constant support!

I'd like to discuss about my husband's medications. BodyElectric and AuntyBiotic, I'd really appreciate your input on this. I did some checking on drugs interaction (drugs.com). What I found out is really scaring me because I don't fully understand it due tof the terminology. I am feeling overwhelmed with what I read. I had learned from you guys about not mixing certain antibiotics with SSRIs and other stuff. Could you please read over the list below and tell me what you see? I'd appreaciate your time and help.

His daily meds are:
1.Prozac 20 - 30mg, 2.Allegra-D 24 Hour (allergies), 3.Singulair (asthma),4.Advair Diskus (asthma), 5.Liquibid-D (alleriges),6. TriCor (high triglycerides),7. lisinopril (high blood pressure), 8. Centrum (vitamins), 9. Biaxin X (antibiotic for sinus infections), cortison shots (sinus infections)12. Xolair (shot for allergies) 13. Amevive - alefacept (psoriasis)

My hubby takes medications to treat the following conditions: asthma, bad sinus allergies/infections, decongestants, high triglycerides, high blood pressure, psoriasis and depression(I wonder if it is depression or the outcome of drug interactions). I found out a year ago that he has been taking prozac off and on since he was 18 years old, which coincides when he was first diagnosed with psoriasis. There was no prior history of psoriasis in his family.
His moods and the way he feels physically are pretty tough for all.

[bodyelectric]

Trish,

I think 5-HTP is helping me, and you're far enough along off of Lexapro that you can add it safely. Lexapro's "half-life" is fairly short, thanks to aunty's "Flockhart P 450 Cytochrome system" (I'll share what I've found on that a little later).

There is a software program you can download, where you simply type in the drugs you're on, and it will spit out possible negative interactions, based on tracing the metabolic pathways each drug uses and seeing where they might conflict, at least when it comes to cytochromes. I haven't used it myself because I'm not taking anything. But here's the site I first found mention of it: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/p040542.html and here's the site for the software itself: www.mhc.com/Cytochromes

About your husband's meds -- that's a lot! His liver must be working overtime, and gall stones are a risk, in my unprofessional opinion. I don't know about the specific interactions, haven't gotten on that project yet as I'm trying to earn some money. But the advice I have for you is to move somewhere with cleaner air, like the southwest or Canada. I'm from TN originally, but lived in NYC, VT, France, and the Guatemalan highlands for a number of years. When I moved back to TN 3 years ago, I got terrible allergies, acute sinusitis, etc. NYC, except in the month or so after 9/11, had pretty good air quality compared to here (mass transportation and sea air). Quitting smoking helped, but now that I'm smoking again, it's back. Flonase, a steroidal nasal spray, is a really good drug. We live in a valley that's very humid and very green, so there's lots of allergins in the air. Plus a lot of air pollution from the industrial midwest blows down here and gets stuck in the valley, mixing with all the pollutants from the cars and industry here, where there are shamefully few environmental standards. I've tried the geographical cure a number of times for personal problems that followed me anyway, but this might be one case where it would work. Taos, NM and Durango, CO are nice. Flagstaff, AZ is another cool little town that has change of seasons. That's my two cents' worth.

Funny you should mention it, aunty, my wife encouraged me to write a series of a few short downloadable books that will be on my web site, www.withdrawalsympoms.us, if I ever get the thing up.

[Freya]

Hello everyone,
I've been on 30mg of Lexapro since the end of March due to postpartum depression I suffered after my baby was born in December 2004. Prior to the PPD I had never suffered serious depression or anxiety. I've always been a little "high strung" but I was always able to get myself out of a funk. I knew I was experiencing more than the "baby blues" at 4 weeks post partum when I was unable to sleep, even when baby was sleeping, and the hellish anxiety set in. I lost 40 pounds in 2 months and abruptly stopped nursing at 5 weeks. I was a complete basket case and felt like I wanted to die. The anxiety and depression about not feeling like I could bond or take care of my baby was overwhelming. Anyway, I went to a really wonderful female psychiatrist and ended up being hospitalized for 10 days because I was so medication adverse that I couldn't trust myself to take anything consistently at home. I began the Lexapro and also started Klonopin while in the hospital. It took a good 2 months for me to feel the effects of the Lexapro, and after I returned home I successfully weaned myself off of the Klonopin once I began sleeping well. Now I want to SLOWLY wean myself off of the Lexapro over the next 4-6 months, weaning down by 5mg per month or so. The Lexapro has been a miracle in helping me get a grip on my postpartum depression, but now I feel that I am in a good place. I KNOW that the shock to the system that having a new baby can place on a person was part of my "depression" and that part is over. Also, the postpartum sleep deprivation can really wreak havoc on a person's mental, physical and emotional states, leading to depression. Now that I'm sleeping well and my life is back to "normal", I realized that I haven't cried about anything in over 4 months. I can't cry. I watch sad movies or hear sad news and I have no emotions. I don't want to be that way anymore. So I'm going to take it slowly and see how it goes.

Sorry for the long post, but I've read this entire thread and know you guys are good people and are full of good information and shared experiences.