[quitter]

So it's been exactly one month since I stopped my medication (Lex 20mg and Wellbutrin XL 300mg--high dosages, huh?) and I've been pretty much fine til now. It seems like everything is just hitting me today. I have the worst headache of my life right now, and I'm getting the zapping things (which isn't all that unusual for me--I get them whenever I'm sick, esp. with the flu) and I've also got the chills. What have I gotten myself into? I'm going on a trip tomorrow (3 hours away) and driving it by myself....this is a little unnerving. I keep telling myself I'm ok--mind over matter--but that's getting a little harder to buy into. This sucks! Since it's been a month, if I go back on them to start tapering off, will I have the inital nausea and all that getting back on them? I don't know what to do.

[sctschk]

Hey quitter. I'm sorry to hear you're having a tough time right now. I'm a new member here too and by no means an expert, but I have my own story I can share. When I hit my one month mark after stopping Lex, I thought I was in the clear. Everything seemed almost normal with me. Then another week later, BAM, I get a whole new slew of funky effects that scared the heck out of me. I've read here and other places that sometimes some people get a delayed withdrawal, which sounds like what you might be experiencing. With a trip coming up, only time will tell if you think you'll be able to handle it while going through the withdrawals. I'll leave the tapering part up to the others on here, but I know for me, I really held strong on not going back on. It just wasn't an option. For me, I figured I either suffer through it now or later - might as well be now...

Hugs to you. Hope things don't get too bad for you!
-Jo

[wherethehellami?]

what's up everyone i posted on here not too long ago about my own story with Lexapro. I cut back from 20mg to 10mg a month and six days ago and things have been up and down for me. I already know I cut back too fast from what I read here and from my experience. Anyone have any advice or experience as to how long the withdrawal effects will last and when will it take my body to get use to 10mg? I was on Lexapro for about 2 1/2 yrs and 20mg for maybe a yr. I've been experiecing slight depression on and off and anxiety. Also slight depersonalization and I am having strange dreams as well. Sometimes I feel ok and sometimes I think I would be better off going back up. Any help would be great. thanks

[Hairyarmadillo]

Hopeful great news about your thyroid! Isnt it amazing what that one little pill can cause?

spatzkey I hate what you are having to go through, because yes Lexapro can create monsters. My aggressive monster didn't come out until I started weaning but my I-don't-caare monster has been around a long time. I didn't think you would have any luck convincing him. I know when I was under the influence of a reaction to diet medication, no one could tell me that I was irrational even though I was talking to Einstein. The mind is complicated. I do have extreme empathy for your boyfriend, but again right now think of yourself. You've done all you can. And,just because you leave now, it doesn't mean this is necessarily over. If it is in fact the Lexapro, then he is going to have it spill over into the other areas in his life. Right now he can easily direct his feelings toward you, once you are not available he is going to see the effects in other areas of his life. He can excuse it now as saying he feels that way because of you, but when you are gone he won't be able to attribute it that way. He is going to have to experience his own little wake up call.

janbanan Keep reminding yourself of how far you have came and how you are one day closer to being free from the symptoms. this is the only thing that keeps me going. I was determined not to get back on it, but only last week, I came really close to giving in so I could avoid the effects. But to what avail would that be-I would have gone back to being apathetic and not enjoying my life besides whatever else the drug did to me. It is like dieting-the temporary pleasure of the cheesecake makes it easy to give in, but then I have to pay the price of the calories. So much better to fight off the urge no matter how tempting. Except it is 100 times worse with the Lexapro, because you feel like you are getting rid of negatives, but it is not so. You can do it, one day at a time.

quitter that is so true about how the effects come back. I was feeling downright euphoric this week and then started having some more of the minor symptoms, but felt awful. THAT is what makes one feel like giving up, like it is impossible to get off of it. But I do see improvement so I do know it will go away. This time I am aware that it is the drug withdrawals doing this and not just me. That helps a lot.

sctschk good for you with the MRI. THAT is the kind of documentation that is going to be able to stand up and help support that it is related to Lexapro and not some other abnormality. It is a shame that anyone has to go through all this, but I do believe one day the things we have found out will be made common knowledge.

TaveeWell, well, it sounds like the DOCTOR is back! I knew you were still in there and it was just that doggone Lexapro. I hope you are keeping score so you know that you just won another skirmish in your battle against Lexapro.

wherethehellamI I laugh when I type your name because I feel like that! You did a BIIIIIIIIG drop off from 20 to 10 mgs and frankly I would not start tapering again. I was only on 10 mg and went down approx. 2.5 mgs every 3 weeks. I would have done better to have gone slower, but what is done is done. At the three week period, my body was JUST recovering from that 2.5 decrease. Yours is having to adjust to even more of a drop. I have been on the Lexapro for two years, give or take approximately 4 months when i had weaned and got back on, thinking the symptoms were just a sign of my hopelessness. The withdrawal effects are not fun but they do go away. Are you taking the Omega 3 and any of the other supplements? Aunty has put together a nice list. They certainly don't hurt. I am not having any major symptoms so I am just doing Noni juice, Omega 3 and Magnesium. AVOID any caffeine like the plague! I am one of these people who just has to try and I drank 2 sodas the other day-3 hours later I felt it, that night I had the dreams again and have not felt as great as I was. Of course, we all know that the symptoms have a way of popping up at the most unexpected times, even months after we have stopped taking it. So I was not shocked, just slightly disappointed. But even the littlest things can make the symptoms flair up. I started stressing over going back to work (my classroom is being painted so I am having to move temporarily-my kids have no attention spans so the move is going to make it worse) and felt the depression kick in. Not frustration, extreme stay in bed oh no I can't face the world I am in the wrong career overwhelming depression. I had to talk myself through it. But the point being, even the smallest thing may cause emotional overreactions. it is just the withdrawals, so don't give in to that! We are going to make it. And then we are all going to have a big party!!

[quitter]

Well, I made it through the night (isn't that a song?)--it wasn't pleasant, but I survived. My headache kept waking me up, and I just cried for a while, but today really is a new day! I don't feel wonderful by any means, but my headache is gone (I hope it stays that way). My eyes are so puffy from crying though! I look like Anyway, I think I'm gonna go ahead and go on my trip. I can handle this. Thanks so much for all your support on here--it's really great to not be alone in this. My mom is NO help--last night when I was feeling sooo terrible, what I needed was a, "everything's going to be ok. You can do this." But what I got was, "I don't know why you ever went off your medicine--you need it. It's like a diabetic needing insulin." Not what I needed to hear. But then she was really nice and just sat with me and played with my hair and calmed me down. She tries, but she doesn't understand. She's been on antidepressants since I was a little kid (I'm 20 now). She's been on Zoloft, Desyrel, and now Paxil and Wellbutrin, and I think someting else too, but I can't remember. Back in the early 90s when she started taking them, her doctor told her that all her problems were due to a "chemical imbalance"--which is what most doctors thought back then. But since then, a lot has changed in the field and they are realizing that it's not always that and that antidepressants aren't always the answer, but try telling her that! It's very frustrating. Anyway, long post, sorry. Just needed to vent for a minute.

[Hairyarmadillo]

Quitter Dont you hate it when you just need a few words of comfort and people won't cough them up!! I have a friend who vents constantly but if I say a word, she goes "We all got problems". Sometimes it pays NOT to listen to your mother-lol. I accepted the chemical imbalance theory with mine, but before I get back on them,I will see a psychiatrist and have tests run to make sure it is necessary to get on medicine. Too many side effects to be on it if I don't need it.

[spatzkey]

Thanks Hairyarmadillo!! Your advise is really comforting. Its so wonderful to hear first hand from someone who experienced what I am saying. I did read the physicians PDR on Lexapro and gosh, that was interesting. I am concerned with the side effects that are dangerous. Like the agitation, anger, irratibility, twinges, continual panic attacks, and anxiety. He has ALL of these things. He told me last wk how he his eye has been twinging, and how he gets panic attacks again and worse. He said its cuz of me, and the baby. But I read how these effects can get worse leading to major effects long term. One of my friends is dating someone whose best friend killed himself a few months ago. He was on Lexapro. He had also been going out and drinking alot. WHICH is what my boyfriend is doing now. He goes out alot to avoid me and drinks with others. I worry.... But like you said I have done everything. And I guess once I am gone then maybe this will spill into his work or what ever, and then he will get a wake up call. Do you think it is pointless for me to write his doctor a letter? I guess if she does "cut him off" he still could Rx this to himself. hum.....
You should start a support group! I have read your posts to others and you have alot of compassion and good advise for others that you have never even met. Thats def. a gift!!! I know you have def. helped me.

[sarita-sarita]

Tavee,

I'm so sorry you are having so many problems. I've been w/u for months, so i want you to stay strong. Please don't get back on this stuff.

Like Aunty said, when it gets bad like that, you should stabilize first or take a small amount more. You need to slow down the taper girl! You have plenty of time to have a baby. Set a goal, one year from now, 6 months from now, you will be off the drug.

Do you take supplements/? if you can afford it, please order the products at www.globaldnasolutions.com.......... or go to www.theroadback.com............THese products helped me through a smooth taper with little or no withdrawal.

I don't think i had that withdrawal last week. I think I was so very, very tired..ONce i slept, it was gone.

[Hairyarmadillo]

Thanks, spatzkey-I know this forum has been a lifeline to me. Whenever I type anything back to you guys, I get motivated myself. I hate to say one way or the other about the letter to the doctor. I am somewhat cynical and doubt it would make a difference. I had a bad psychotic episode several years ago due to diet medication and my husband took me to the emergency room. The doctor spoke with him and then interviewed me for about 30 minutes. I can't remember what I told the doc but I do remember at the time I thought my husband was out to get me. At the end of the interview, the doctor told my husband if he wanted a divorce he needed to file for one, not try to go "this route". And with your boyfriend's situation, I am sure he would be able to convince his doctor it was the situation and not a drug response. But, even though I am sorry about the eye twitches etc, at least he is realizing something is off. I am praying for you both that this is resolved in a positive way, without him having to have too hard of a wake up call. Also, I am not telling you to wait in the wings forever, but just because you leave it may not mean it is over. My bet is with the eye twitching and anxiety starting, once you leave he is not going to have a ready target for his agitation. He will have to start dealing with it. Chances are that will be enough of a wake up call. But do, after you leave, send a letter with some information that you have found about the bad effects of this drug and the importance of tapering off as well. Hopefully, he will get that wake up call soon and once the tapering starts, his old personality will emerge. Mine started coming back long before I had gotten to the 0 mg mark.. I can actually be touched now without feeling like slapping people. Whatever comes of this, keep us posted. I get too attached to people

[tavee]

Sarita-

Thanks For The Words Of Encouragement. Im So Glad U Are Feeling Better.

I Am Taking Omega 3 And A Multivitamin.
Can U Tell Me What U Are Taking In Detail. Maybe That Might Help Me Better.

Did U Stop At A Specific Dose When U Tapered Or Did U Go All The Way Down To 0ml?

Im On 2 Ml And I Started In October.

Thanks Girl!!
Im Glad Ure Back To The Forum!!

Tavee

[sarita-sarita]

tavee,

you are tapering way too fast....double then what i did. you need to only do 5% at the most. When i was down to 2 mg, i only tapered to 1.5 mg and so on and so on. don't go fast cause it's the end. that's bad. i'm taking special nutrients specifically designed for withdrawals. i'm taking power barley, omega 3's(powerfuly ones), protein powder, and a great cherry extract for sleeplessness and anxiety. go to: www.globaldnasolutions.com....call them....tell them what's going on.

[tavee]

SARITA CAN U EMAIL ME AT taveesmith@yahoo.com

i want to ask u some questions about the supplements.

are u following the road back program or are u just taking the supplements in ure own way??

tavee

[deanna.a]

Wow! I am so fortunate to have a very concerned friend who found this site for me. I have been weaning myself off Lexapro for 5 or so weeks now (no more insurance), and have been experiencing multiple symptoms. The first to show itself was the brain zaps, then the terrible night sweats (I, too, attributed those to perimenopause).
I was on 20mg for 8 months. To wean myself, I simply cut the tablet in half and took them for 3 weeks, then cut the remaining tablets in half again. This is my 3rd day without any of it.
I am experiencing the zaps as well as nightmares, a very stiff neck, stomach distress, anxiety, lethargy, etc. It is all worth it to get off of this terrible med. Why don't the doctors warn us of the side effects?

[sarita-sarita]

tavee,
i will e-mail you. i WAS on the roadback program and suffered little or no withdrawal. I also am on all the suppplements. i recommend it to everyone. you can email questions to: chris@theroadback.org

[spatzkey]

Thanks Hairyarmadillo! I will def. keep you all posted. It will be interesting what happens. I too think the letter to the doctor might be a waste of time. I am sure if it ever came up, he would just say I couldn't deal with the breakup and I would end up looking like a nut-job. I hope he does realize sooner than later that he is making a huge mistake. I can't believe what happened to you when you were in the hospital. It just goes to show doctors really are not a god, and do not always know what is going on. The human body and esp. the mind are such a mistery! I do have a guestion for you. You ment. in one of your posts that you thought your husband was out to get you. I feel like that with my boyfriend. Two wks ago I came home from work and had my work keys and he thought I was moving in with someone (male), and was screaming at me and thinking I was cheating. Then he told me (this is gross) he tested my pad in the garbage and it wasn't real blood ( I had a bit, even with the preg. but doc. said I am fine). He was out of control that night. Alot of anger and rage. Anyhow, I was afraid and I hid these 2 guns we have that were my fathers. That was the first time in my life that I was afraid. Anyways, I act. forgot about the guns and where they were hid until today with everything going on with the shootings. SO SAD!!!! God bless the families!!!!
I was looking for them and the big one (45mm) was gone!!!! I freaked out!!! I am sooooooo anti gun, but the last 6 months they have been in our drawer because our neighborhood had a stalker or "peeping tom". We are in the city and I am home alone alot. So my boyfriend was showing me how to cock the gun bk. I couldn't its too tough and I have no muscles! Kinda pointless for me, since I couldn't even use it. So bk to the story, I looked for the gun and couldn't find it. I called him, and he said he hid it from me so I wouldn't hurt myself!!! WHAT????? I said "why would you take the big one I can't use, and leave the smaller one that I could if you were concerned for me". And when on earth did I say I was going harm myself! (a month ago I did say once I should just call it a day). But never ment anything serious!!! I am preg. why would I do anything for heavens sake! So I told him that I felt that he hid the gun, because he was or is afraid I am going to use it on him. I told him he is being paranoid! He disagrees but seriously! So I am thinking that this all is prob. part of the meds too. This idea that something is going to happen to him, by me. Right? Or wrong? Gosh this whole sit. is just getting stranger...
As much as I hate to leave, I know I nd to. Here he is on the meds, and I am the one that feels like I am losing my mind! Its so nerve racking! I guess the talk tonight about weening is out of the question now.... Darn!

[wherethehellami?]

Hairyarmadillo: thanks for the advice. Where did you learn about taking the Noni juice for depersonalization? I think I'll get the Omega-3 supplements, although I eat a lot of fish anyway.

[Hairyarmadillo]

sarita-sarita What Omega 3's do you take? I went to that Global DNA link and they do have some interesting stuff. I am thinking of trying the extract for sleeplessness. I have screwed up my sleeping and with the withdrawals it is worse.

deanna.a I am having sympathy brain zaps thinking of your quick tapering. I did that with Paxil and went through months of brain zaps, thinking I was having pre-stroke symptoms. I have been cutting down from 10 mgs since February and am just now 2 weeks into being off of Lexapro. but THAT was too fast. Thankfully, nothing major to report since I did a major drop from 2.5 to 0. After each tapered dose, you need to stay on that dose for about three weeks so your body will stabilize. If you don't, the symptoms are worse. Also, there are several people on here who did not slow taper and developed bad symptoms months after they took their last dose. Since you are having such terrible symptoms, I would suggest going on the last level of dose you took without experiencing major side effects. Allow your body to adjust to that dose. Aunty posted a description of a way to convert the pill to liquid dose. this allows you to more accurately do a slow taper. If there is no way that you can afford to stay on the Lexapro long enough to do the slow taper, do look into the supplements to build your body up. Sarita-sarita has just posted a link to a site with some. I am taking magnesium, Omega3, and Noni juice.
OhWherethehellamI You asked about the Noni juice. I think it was Aunty who mentioned it was good for depersonalization. Am not sure. But I had started taking it slightly before that because of the benefits other people have told me about-figured it couldn't hurt. It isn't the tastiest thing, so I feel like I am doing something good for myself Supposedly there are some brands that taste better than others though. It really isn't that bad though.

Yep, spatzkey You need to get out of there. He doesn't sound like he is thinking straight at all. When weapons are brought into the equation, it is even worse. Thank goodness I maintained enough rationality not to harm anyone, but who knows what could have happened? Some things are not worth taking a chance on.

Ok, guys, my two week without lexapro report: I went back to work today, expecting the agitation to return. Nope, calm peaceful day. Of course, the children were not perfect, the day was not perfect. I had the added stresses of getting report cards completed and have some other extra school duties looming, so there is pressure, but I am not cracking up like I was the week before last. No zaps, still some strange dreams, but the fatigue is gone. I know it will come back but for now, all is nice. One day at a time is all I am looking at

[Augusta]

Originally Posted by Katt

Hi all! Like most of you, I too was on Lexapro, for a little over a year. But when it seemed like the dose I was on wasn't working anymore, and I was still having some depression (along with other side-effects) I started doing some research about what the heck "Lexapro" really is. Basically it's a poison! I have been doing non-stop research now into actually finding out was is the CAUSE of my anxiety/depression, not just a "quick-fix pill" And I agree, I only went to the doc. once, and they just kept filling my perscription!!! I quit cold-turkey myself about a month ago, and my horrible dizziness and flu-like symptoms are mostly gone, although I still have some here and there. Just as a recommondation for you all, I am reading a fantastic book called "Depression-Free, Naturally" or (7 Weeks to Eliminating Anxiety, Despair, Fatigue, and Anger from Your Life" by Joan Mathews Larson, PH.D. It is soooo worth the read, my eyes have been opened, I'm already feeling better, and I am off ALL my drugs! She uses all natural supplements, and actually explains in DETAIL what the heck is making us all feel the way we do. There is a CAUSE!!! Good luck to everyone... I'm on the slow road to recovery, but at least I finally feel like I am going in a safe direction (for once!)

Thank you so much, all of you I'm sending this and the this board address to a friend that is suffering alone with this. Thank you so much.

[elizabethmaria]

Hi,
Well, am doing ok.. but still these awful seizure things... yesterday was really bad.. had like 6 or more.. and TRIED to go to the store to do a little shopping, but soo hard.. this morning was bad too, but then ok in afternoon and could do some things.. I'm at 4.75 months... WHEN does it end???? Aunty, anyone??? I feel sooo out of it, it was awful yesterday, like totally handicapped or something...... is this going to go away or is it too damaged?? why is is soo long for me? I took it for just a few days I am complaining again, so sorry, it just seems like forever...
feeling poorly,
Elizabethmarie

[spatzkey]

Ok, I have a question.... My boyfriend said he would ween off. He just got home from the wknd and said he didn't take his pill Sun. but took 1 tablet today and said he will take half everyday. He said he feels fine, and expects to. He said alot of his patients also feel fine when they are weening off, and to have side effects is rare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT???? I have been reading so much stuff in the last month about terrible side effects when getting off these drugs. I think its strange that he all of a sudden is like "ok I will ween off", when this wknd he through a fit on the phone not to. I told him to look at this board here and he would see that alot of people do have terrible side effects. I am wondering if he is lying??? And maybe not tapering off. Hum...... When he was on Paxil yrs ago, he said all he had was a bit of dizziness for only a wk, and that it wasn't that bad. I am wondering if he is superman?? Strange right?

[auntybiotic]

First of all your boyfriend should not skip days or cut the lexapro tablet in half......that is way too fast a taper. It will take about 4 to 7 days after a taper to actually feel the effects of it.

He may also get mania as a withdrawal effect where he thinks all is great and he is doing well...................this is a form of psychosis and can be dangerous as the person will seem invinicible.

I am so worried about the weapon that is misplaced.

I am sure in time we will find out that the gunman today from Virginia, was on or had just stopped antidepressants........................I will wager a bet on it. All of the previous incidents in the past have had antidepressant SSRI's involved.

Please look out for yourself. Get both gins out of the house for your saftey.

Elazebeth marie,

I am so sorry for the continued seizures. I do not have answers as everyone is different. Have you had testing done to see what type of seizures they are?

[LaurensOn]

Hello
I have never heard of ANY of these problems, I have been taking lexapro blindly since last July, I suppose.
I am up at 1:30AM on the computer because I awoke with these awful feelings of restlessness, hot tingly feelings in my face, arms, chest, legs and feet, almost numbing in the feet, headache and pounding heart which I'm sure was me in a panic.
I have been trying to ween myself off lexapro for a couple of months now. (on 5 mg every other day at this point)
Are all those feelings reactions from the lexapro?
I can't go back to sleep because I am scared of that happening again. That was the second time it's happened and both times I was ready to hop in the car and drive to the ER because I don't understand what is happening to me.

[sctschk]

Hi everyone! Hope everyone is hanging in there ok! I actually have been really good for the past four or five days. My anxiety has been gone (wow, I feel normal) and I have only had very vague Lex withdrawal symptoms, if at all. And, so feeling all confident, I did something really dumb tonight!

My hubby is gone four nights a week starting on Mondays, and well, today is Monday. With me and the babies here and having a rough noisy day, I started to feel a migraine coming on. This is usual, it's getting close to that time a month so I knew it would only be a matter of hours before it would hit full blown. NOT something I wanted to deal with and take care of the little ones at the same time. Anyway, my dumbness included bending the bar and taking an Excedrin Migraine to fight it (I usually take two, thought I'd play it safe by only taking one - doh!). I know darned well that caffeine of any kind amps me up and amps my anxiety attacks, and I was warned not to take any kinds of drugs at all while going through Lex withdrawals, but I just wasn't up to the battle today. Considering I've been feeling so well, I thought I could tolerate it. Wrong.

So, I was fine until about 15 minutes ago (I took the pill around 6:30pm). I'm now all shaky, blurry eyed, anxiety is creeping, and my legs and arms feel weak and shaky. Of course, those health anxiety thoughts come creeping in... argh! Why do I sabotage myself! Or, maybe it's just a rebound Lex withdrawal poking in again... sigh. When will I ever learn?!!?!

Anyone know how long it takes Excedrine to metabolize and get out of my system? Guess I'll be chugging water all night!! Feel like ******************** again!

-Jo

[sctschk]

Originally Posted by LaurensOn

Hello
I have never heard of ANY of these problems, I have been taking lexapro blindly since last July, I suppose.
I am up at 1:30AM on the computer because I awoke with these awful feelings of restlessness, hot tingly feelings in my face, arms, chest, legs and feet, almost numbing in the feet, headache and pounding heart which I'm sure was me in a panic.
I have been trying to ween myself off lexapro for a couple of months now. (on 5 mg every other day at this point)
Are all those feelings reactions from the lexapro?
I can't go back to sleep because I am scared of that happening again. That was the second time it's happened and both times I was ready to hop in the car and drive to the ER because I don't understand what is happening to me.

Yes, I do believe that's Lex doing that to you. Your symptoms sound a lot like mine were, as with a lot of other people here! Sounds like the classic Lex stuff! I don't know if this is correct or not, but the every other day taper might be the cause?? I'm guessing you're causing a withdrawal every other day since you're taking it away from your body, then giving it, then taking it away. Your poor body is probably pretty confused! I'll let the others tackle that because I didn't know what I was doing myself and tapered way too fast, but all your symptoms sound perfectly typical to me!! Don't be scared - you sound very normal as from what I've learned so far. If it's a panic attack, I'm VERY familiar with those, and it sounds like that too, probably Lex withdrawal induced. NOT FUN at all. Just try to slow your breathing down and think happy thoughts. Take a warm shower. Panic attacks usually only last 20 minutes at most for the average person (mine are much, much longer but it's my own thoughts that do that) so you will settle down.

Big hugs! Hope you're ok!! Take it easy!
-Jo

[sctschk]

Originally Posted by elizabethmaria

Hi,
Well, am doing ok.. but still these awful seizure things... yesterday was really bad.. had like 6 or more.. and TRIED to go to the store to do a little shopping, but soo hard.. this morning was bad too, but then ok in afternoon and could do some things.. I'm at 4.75 months... WHEN does it end???? Aunty, anyone??? I feel sooo out of it, it was awful yesterday, like totally handicapped or something...... is this going to go away or is it too damaged?? why is is soo long for me? I took it for just a few days I am complaining again, so sorry, it just seems like forever...
feeling poorly,
Elizabethmarie

I'm sorry to hear that the Lex is still kicking your butt. So that you're not alone in this (hah!), I'm here suffering still with you. It's going to be a long night for me too. 12:30am and just trying to keep my head from bobbing enough to write this post! You're double my time and I'm all ready losing my mind wondering where the end is ... it's got to come eventually right? I haven't yet seen a post with someone still going through withdrawals years later... so, it's got to end sometime!!! I too wonder if I'm "too damaged" to fully recover. I think we all do. I try to think that it's a fight between me and the drug, and dammit, I will not lose! You and I, and the rest of us! haven't come this far to give up. I know it's going to throw some curveballs (now that I've read up!) and there's nothing I can do about it except swing.

Don't worry about complaining - that's what we're all here for! You have every right. Everytime I get a bad sensation or feeling, I'm really trying to turn things around - for example, when I get the buzzing in my feet (which used to send me into panic mode) I now try to think of it as my BODY repairing itself, not the Lexapro doing damage. I think the twitches and body jerks are my nerves RE-connecting, not un-connecting. If I start having seizures (guess who I will be running to??), I'm going to try to think "this is my brain fighting that last bit of Lex in there. It's revamping up the system for a fresh new start, drug free!"

I know, easier said than done, but you have people out here praying for you, and thinking about you! Let's hope tomorrow is a better day for all of us! That's all we can hope for - day by day!

-Jo

[Blooder]

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with aplastic anemia, a rare disease that destroys your stem cells and your body's ability to manufacture healthy and adequate amounts of white and red cells, hemoglobin and platelets. I was given two ATGAM treatments about a year apart in an attempt to "reboot" my bone marrow. Part of the regiment of an ATGAM treatment is cyclosorine and prednisone. In addition to many nasty side effects of prednisone, it also caused me to be very irritable and agitated. Initially my Dr. prescribed ativan, and that indeed mellowed me, but also made me stupid as well. I was in mental and physical quicksand with ativan. So then I was prescribed Lexapro. After about 2 or 3 weeks I was very Clark Kent-like. It did work and I was appreciative of that. However, after a period of time I was tapered off the prednisone so I thought I would ask my dr. about reducing the Lexapro down to 10mg (from 15). Thats when I noticed RLS. So after about a week of this I assumed that the Lexapro was causing it (after reviewing several sites that made a connection between Lexapro and RLS), so I asked my dr. again for another reduction. 5mg's of Lexapro has resulted in constant RLS and the agitation came back. So what did I do? I asked for the Lexapro dose to be increased thinking the reduction was causing my agiatation and RLS. Thankfully I have discovered this site which provides many tesimonials about Lexapro withdrawal. I was doing the exact opposite of what I should have been doing. Today I'll be visiting again with my physician to work out a taper plan that will hopefully produce minimal withdrawals. The bottom line is - now I know what to expect and can accept the negative wtihdrawal symptoms, and along with support of my family, I can outlast the Lexapro, feel better and get back to sleep again!

[Angie_R_65]

Hi everyone...

After 3 years on a very high dose of Lexapro (30 mg.), I have gone cold-turkey. I understand that it wasn't the wisest thing to do, but I felt like, for me, it was the only way to do it. I did not want to prolong it, for fear of not having enough courage to go through a long withdrawal.

I have GAD, and have been an extremely uptight, anxious person for as long as I can remember. Catastrophic thoughts were commonplace for me, and I would drive myself and everyone around me crazy with the "what ifs". It got especially bad after a nasty divorce 7 years ago.

However, I could no longer tolerate what Lexapro had turned me into: a fat, apathetic slug with no interest in sex or anything else, for that matter. My mental "edge" and sharpness were gone. I felt like I was perceiving and feeling everything through a thick blanket...everything felt very dulled. True, I no longer had anxiety, but that was because I simply didn't care about much of anything. I found it difficult to cry or show emotion at my dad's funeral last week. That was a huge wake-up call that something was wrong, and was the impetus for stopping the Lex.

I used to take my 30 mg. at night. It helped me fall asleep and stay asleep, but it was also causing sleep apnea and snoring, which meant that I was not feeling rested. I also felt very drugged in the morning. This past Friday night and Saturday night I simply forgot to take it. By Sunday night, I figured I would give quitting a try.

Today is my 4th day off this drug. Side effects are similar to what I experienced while starting on the drug. Brain zaps were really bad yesterday, but I just tried to rest after work and move slowly. It is worse when I turn my head fast. The nausea has been bad, but I'm finding that staying away from soda and sweets has helped greatly, also keeping small amounts of nutritious food in my stomach. I had a 1/2 turkey sandwich and cup of chicken rice soup with mineral water yesterday, and it made me feel so good.

Other physical side effects are extreme body aches, like I used to get when the anxiety was bad, and diarrhea. Also insomnia, really bad. When I first went on Lexapro, the first two anxiety symptoms to get better were improved sleep and improved concentration. Now, those are the first two anxiety symptoms to come back. Concentration is difficult. I feel like I have ADD.

I'm hoping that over the past three years that the drug has allowed me to look at things in a new way and not get so obsessed over everything. I'm hoping that I can take those lessons and apply them to my thinking while off of the drug.

I plan on getting some Valerian root to take for the insomnia. I've had good luck with that in the past.

You know, I think it is a tradeoff. For me, my emotions were SO intense all the time, that a 3 year break from the sheer exhaustion of being ME was exactly what was needed. Lexapro was the "off" switch and let me operate more or less like everyone else. But now, I feel like I've given up too much: gaining 40 pounds, loss of interest in sex, not caring if my checkbook was overdrawn, having no ambition and not caring if my house was a mess and laundry piled up.

It is time to give it a try. If I doesn't work, so be it. But I've got to see if I can be OK without the Lexapro.

Wish me luck,

Angie

[elizabethmaria]

Hi Sctschk,
Thank you for your kind words..! It has been rough the last few days.. and so frustrating after so long... .. I guess I thought it was getting better, but have been going through a bad spell again... it's no fun to all have this together, but much better than one of us being all alone in it! it's nice to have someplace to complain a little to people who understand, as everyone else doesn't really!
Sctschk.. I just read your post again.. that is a total bummer about the Excedrin migraine.. but unfortunately probably not surprising -- one thing about the Lex and other ssri's is that it greatly inhibits your ability to metabolize other drugs, (in addition to adding on to withdrawal symptoms) so that's why we can't take anything now either... I thought it was so interesting how you wrote that you're previous anxiety attacks lasted much much longer -- that's how mine were - the drug induced ones.. I'm talking hours and even several days... that is Total drug induced anxiety attack! talk about torture... I know too .. I thought it was my own thoughts too, but now they're gone, it was totally drug reactions.. and I feel 'normal' as well again - in that way..I hope it's that way for you - a clue is that the excedrin medicine brought that all back for you, the thoughts, the feelings, everything.. see, it's not you at all! thank you again... I hope you start feeling better again soon !!

Angie, whatever you do, DON"T go cold turkey off 30 mg Lex... taper taper taper -- somebody help her! She doesn't know what she's getting into! Hopeful? please let her know what happened to you when you stopped...! You won't be ok without Lex like that -- your brain HAS to adjust, or you will crash and have serious brain damage -- read Hopeful's posts here on the forum,and others as well -- it is VERY dangerous!
please read was has been written here...
you're all in my prayers,
Elizabethmarie

[elizabethmaria]

AUNTY,

My 'seizure' episodes have changed a little - I did have an MRI which was all good, and then had the brain wave EEG test -- interesting here - they said it was basically fine, but while I had it, they told me to close my eyes and relax.. then later after it was done, they told me I had been asleep -- but I told them I wasn't asleep, I was awake -- but the lady told me my brainwaves proved I was asleep - so I didn't argue with her, as she said you must have dropped off and forgotten... but I did NOT feel that way -
I just read somewhere that sometimes the brainwaves show that you are actually in a sleep state -- could this be what happened??? I didn't really think about it until I read some research about it...

Here's why - when I have a 'seizure' now.. what happens is like my body shuts off.. my eyes are open, and I'm aware sort of of everything, but it's like my body is slow/or kind of paralyzed, my breathing is slow, almost like it's in a sleep state, but awake... could the brain be forcing itself into a kind of sleep state or something at periodic intervals because it's not getting deep sleep at night? I feel SOOO good after one of the 'seizures' it's like my mind is soo clear, awake, fresh and normal... but after a short time (few hours) it happens again...
i don't know, just scared about these things.. they are soo weird!!! starting to think I'm nuts...
I'm at 4.5 months off now... is there still the drug in our system by this time? or are we clear and just dealing with the damage?
hope you are soo well,
Elizabethmarie

[1wonone]

I haven't been here in a while doing fairly well now about two months off Lex. head still goes for a spin at times though. I just wanted to put this out there in case it would help anyone else. I had to find out through my own research that my panic attacks were being caused by too high a dose of thyroid medication. So here I was overdosed on those suffering attacks and I was given Ativan and Lexapro. The lex made me suicidally depressed. When I could drag myself out of bed I researched and found what the prob was. The doc agreed to reduce my thyroid but as I said before to stay on the lex the rest of my life. Once my thyroid was back to normal I never had another panic attack and I had weaned myself off lex. I just wanted others to be aware of this in case this is thier prob or know someone in that situation. A good site that helped me was http://womentowomen.com/hypothyroidi...rthyrodism.asp
It states that the symptoms of hyperthyrodisim can be similar to those of other conditions, including anxiety disorder or mania-like behavior. So, rather than just assume it is just a mood disorder, thyroid function should always be checked to rule out hyperthyroidism when a woman experiences new symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks, or hyperactivity of any kind.

And to think I went to a shrink who is suppose to be an expert who said I had developed a panic disorder and possibly had bi-polar II when all the time I was being overdosed and nobody bothered to check into that. I'm just glad I didn't die of a heart attack. The reason I was placed on such a high dose of thyroid was because I was having trouble with digesting food so the doc thought it would speed things up a bit. Like I said, glad I'm still here.