[learning_to_be_free]

Advice from anyone will be much appreciated! To all of you who have read my suboxene doseing thread(which I spelled wrong lol) You know my story, to those that havent I'll try to make this as short an update as possible but I doubt it will be....Abused child turned opiate addict that tried methadone maintenence only to get feed up quit at 15mg. My highest dose was 150mg which I dropped to 15mg in less than a year causeing constant w/d. Jumping at 15mg was like jumping at 150mg. I thought I was dieing...I may have been. So I relapsed back to pills telling myself I was tapering. The tapering didnt work for me.
I have severe anxiety and panic attacks. I have been on some kind of perscribed benzo for close to 11 years. Benzos will be the next drug to go after the opiates. I have had anxiety as long as I can remember.
I also have major depression which drs call treatment resistant. I have been on all kinds of anti-depressants. None of which worked well except for paxil which after 10 years has seemed to stop working so I have weened from it and I am on no anti-depressants right now. Every other anti-depressant either made my anxiety worse or made me suicidal.
I have 2 kids who I adore and want to be a good mother to. My oldest has had many problems with ADHD and other mental/emotional disorders. We have been chasing a diagnoses for close to 6 years. The latest diagnoses is early onset bi-polor disorder. My mother had bi-polor and never treated it to say the least it was horrible to live with her. I left at 15. IT breaks my heart NOTHING in this world causes more stress and heartache than one of your kids having...issues for lack of a better word. I have problems with blaming myself for not getting him an accurate diagnoses quickly due to my addiction & other mental issues even though I have tried to whole time. The addiction had to have taken away some attention from him. Thats how addiction is.
I have been in a few car accidents and have what I think they called compressed discs and/or degenerative discs depending on the dr I saw. I have scoliosis they say I was probably born with and my tailbone is fused to the last vertabre? I never understood most of this stuff. I was on my own and just 18 so I just blew it off. The drs blamed the pain I complained of on this or just thought I was crazy.
My latest problem is that I was just diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. The dr says they go hand in hand in most cases. I always knew something wasnt right. I was always so tired at such at young age. I had so much pain that drs said It must be in my head because I was too young for all these complaints. I finally have a dr that really listens, she even once went to look up causes for my decressed appetite and stomache pain because she said she just couldnt think of good enough answers right then. She spends as much time as you want to talk it makes for very long waits but when its your turn you could care less about the wait. Although she didnt tell me alot about the fibro it was the last thing we talked about & I had to pick my boys up. I told her of some symptoms I have been having because my therapist told me to write down all my problems even ones that have been discarded in the past. I told her I have pain and tenderness in my calfs. Sometimes my legs feel too tender/weak to walk on. I have tenderness and pain around my shoulders, sides, lower belly, and back. I hate for my arms to be touched, you know like when your significant other or your kids rubs your arms or legs not like sexual just affectionate. I hate that its like fingernails on a chalk board for me. I just thought it was a weird cork I had. I always felt bad for it, not wanting to be cuddled by my kids or my man. She said it was fibro and perscribed neurotion(sp) for 1 month just to tell the ins company that it doesnt work so I can get Lyrica...crafty. I see again in 1 month. I know nothing about this condition and feel very lost. I feel afraid.
I was so happy to be on my way to being free of drugs. I got a great therapist who specializes in addiction and anxiety. She has been in recovery 23 years and clean for 16 I think..give or take a year. I was so excited to finally get someone who understands me that I forgot the exact years. I go to an NA meeting and group meetings for women in recovery. Even with all this new found hope and excitement I was still very worried about my pain and what I thought was just laziness.
I have been ashamed to post on my sub thread lately because I have stalled out at 1mg. I cant seem to get lower without some w/d symptoms. I also didnt want to post this because I was afraid it may scare some of the others doing a sub taper. I emailed Robert about my fears, who has been a godsend, he explained some things to me. That my issues with the methadone, the fibro, and the stress have caused some bumps with my taper. I need to CALM DOWN so I can continue on my path to a better life.
If anyone has any advice on any of these issues especially the fibro since I know nothing about it. I would very much appreciate it. THANK YOU all so much for reading this insanely long post. I have trouble just getting to the point, figureing out whats relavent. I need help! I know my anonymous family will be there for me. Thanks again

[Robert_325]

I'm glad to see you made this post. It has to feel better to get some of that off your chest.

Fibro is a strange illness as are most autoimmune diseases. It usually takes years before a diagnosis is even made. Your dr is right about the chronic fatigue. It's common to lots of autoimmune diseases like fibro, raynaud's, RA, lupus, the list goes on. There are only a few autoimmune diseases where chronic fatigue isn't an issue. And it's not just being tired. It's like we run out of gas early in the day. I deal with it too having three autoimmune diseases. I can just fall off to sleep in the middle of the day, then consequently have sleep issues at night because of it. It's a vicious cycle.

The problem of pain with touching is common for about everyone with fibro. I've seen people over the years I've worked on autoimmune disease forums that actually had marriages go down the tubes as their spouses just didn't understand the pain. I am very optimistic for you with the neurontin and lyrica. These meds have proven to be very effective for the type of pain you suffer from.

The main thing I see is that you now have an explanation at least for some of your symptoms. You're not crazy like drs tell so many of us with these problems. That in itself is a relief I know. I may be a little whacko, but my illnesses are real. There is some calming effects in that we know there is a real problem.

It's a drag that there is no cure for autoimmune diseases. All the drs can do is treat them symptomatically. But there have been some major medical developments over the last ten years. We can only hope things will continue to improve for us. Our prognosis is much better than it used to be when drs just thought we were all psycho.

You need to settle down and relax like we discussed. Stay at the 1mg dose for a little while until you feel more comfortable. 1mg is not such a high dose that you will create another problem for yourself. I'm not saying to stay on the suboxone indefinitely, but you've gone through a lot recently with all this. Cut yourself some slack and give it a little time. You will be okay.

There are others on this forum with fibro too. I know melinda has fibro and will be posting soon. She just moved into a new house and her computer will be hooked up again tomorrow. She does some series of exercises that help her along with some other things. I know she will share those things with you. Again the main thing for right now is to just relax and not get stressed with all this. Stress is a trigger for pain with autoimmune diseases, and pain is a trigger for stress. So it goes on and on. It's very important for you to remain as calm as possible. Relaxation techniques are a good thing to do ... like breathing exercises, stretching helps your muscles which are affected with fibro, hot baths before bed will help you with sleep. Just try to do some things that make YOU feel better. Stay in touch and I will keep you in my prayers. God bless.

[learning_to_be_free]

I know the post is long but anyone have any info....hope to see you soon Melinda

[melinda7.5]

Hi Free
I just got my INTERNET back...OH man am I happy...
I really think we must be twins or somthing..LOL
My oldest son has bi-polor also and we both have fibro...I think I know why GOD put of together on that other forum...YOU THINK...LOL
It really is going to be OK,If I have to have something I'm glad its not worse than it is...I have had fibro most of my life and I'm sure you have to..you just didn't know what it was...My fibro effects my mussels the most it feels like they are stretched out rubber bands and they are very tight I have all the pressure points that hurt to...
I have not found any meds that have helped me so I Had to take the matter into my own hands.i run a mile a day.and I do 8 min abs and I do a series of stretching,that has helped me the most of all of the drugs i have ever taken.
I try to stay mentally positive even when I think I cant do one more thing I make myself do two...just so I wont let it get the best of me...
Let me know what hurts on you so I can help you find out what to do.
I would love to help just keep me posted...
Talk to you soon,Melinda

[Robert_325]

Melinda .... as you say,"...when I think I can't do one more thing I make myself do two ..." That is why you are successful dealing with the fibro. You have as positive an attitude as anyone I know along with your faith in God. With those two character traits it's almost impossible to fail. You never cease to inspire me. God bless.

[musicman48]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi Free
I just got my INTERNET back...OH man am I happy...
I really think we must be twins or somthing..LOL
My oldest son has bi-polor also and we both have fibro...I think I know why GOD put of together on that other forum...YOU THINK...LOL
It really is going to be OK,If I have to have something I'm glad its not worse than it is...I have had fibro most of my life and I'm sure you have to..you just didn't know what it was...My fibro effects my mussels the most it feels like they are stretched out rubber bands and they are very tight I have all the pressure points that hurt to...
I have not found any meds that have helped me so I Had to take the matter into my own hands.i run a mile a day.and I do 8 min abs and I do a series of stretching,that has helped me the most of all of the drugs i have ever taken.
I try to stay mentally positive even when I think I cant do one more thing I make myself do two...just so I wont let it get the best of me...
Let me know what hurts on you so I can help you find out what to do.
I would love to help just keep me posted...
Talk to you soon,Melinda

I was wondering what happened to you.Glad to see you back.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by musicman48

I was wondering what happened to you.Glad to see you back.

Hi Musicman
OH man, you just don't know how spoiled you are till you move and they cant hook up your cable,phone and internet for a week...I can handle anything BUT NOT THAT ...LOL

Talk to you later, Melinda

[melinda7.5]

Hi Free where did you go...
Dont give up now...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[learning_to_be_free]

Im not giving up now. I finally got some answers about my symptoms. My son has been sick so I havent got to post in a way that i could really talk with you guys, not enough time. I am still trying to wrap my head around this fibro diagnoses. To be honest sometimes i think about it and get really pissed. I have been complaining of these symptoms for more than 10 years and I was dismissed and made to feel crazy. If I would have caught this earlier maybe I could have saved my self from opiate addiction, not likely but just the chance of it makes me pissed off.
Drs all said I was "too young to feel this type of pain and fatigue" I started to believe them. I started to think I was just a hypochondriac and my depression was the cause. My anxiety was the cause. I was treated badly as a child they said "that can make you think you are in pain" along with all kinds of other responses to my complaints. I really always knew there was something more, but drs are pursuasive. I know its symptoms are broad and some drs dont even believe it exsists so Im not really mad at the drs just the situation. In high school I was what I call a buzz junkie...i did it all but I could always stop whenever I felt like it. I thought I was invinsible to addiction, not like my parents or other drug users. After my kids I stopped doing drugs until multiple dental problems and kidneys stones back to back started me taking pills. Plus my sister did them and said they would make me like super mom. They did. I could do anything on them and that Pain & Fatigue subsided while I was on pills. Perfect I thought drugs I could get legally for awhile then from my sister and I would live a happy life no more pain, fatigue, and depression. WRONG! I found a drug I couldnt walk away from! Once I started to have to pay for them I tried. The honeymoon was soon over and that pain an fatigue were back 3fold. I have drove myself to the edge trieng to quit this opiate use. I wanted my kids to have a real mom. Everything I have done so far hasnt worked. I believe the methadone made the fibro worse. The longer I was on maintenence the worse my symptoms got. So I better stop ranting and give you some info. Like I said I havent had much time to learn about fibro the dr made the diagnoses but we had talked so long I had to get my boys before we could come up with anything more than nerotion(sp) then telling ins company it doesnt work so I could get lyrica. I havent had time to research it online. My symptoms I explained in the 1st post on this thread plus I have stomache pains and tingling in my arms and hands at times. I dont know what to be looking for or what to do about it right know other than the neurotion which is being checked and hopefully approved by my ins company right now with my dr so I havent got to even try that yet. My back pain is a major issue which i I dont know if its related to the fibro or not. The other symptoms bother me to the point it effects my everyday life. I am so stiff in the mornings and so tired all day. Melinda what do you think? Do you agree with the dr is this fibro if so what do you recommend or what works for you? I am sorry I dont have more info Im rushing now have to get the kids off the bus and I havent done any research yet. I will get a chance this weekend. I so appreciate you guys help. Sorry I didnt post sooner. time to go to bus stop I will look for your reply and I will post back soon. Thanks again I know Im a worry wart and that annoys most people so thanks for dealing with me. <3

[melinda7.5]

Hi Free
I know how you feel I have pretty much had fibro all my life even as a child.
I can remember my parents taking me to the hospital in the middle of the night because my legs hurt and I would just scream as a child.but When I got to the hospital the doctors would say there was nothing wrong....
So hence....hypochondriac is what they called me too !!!
As a teenager I can remember I would have these knots in my neck and OH man they hurt, But then again know one knew What was wrong...I knew there was something,But like you the doctors said there was nothing they could find.As a teen I drank and did a lot of drugs until I had my first child. then I stopped and I don't know how I did it,but I just learned to live with my pain, I guess I just loved my kids more than I loved myself so I suffered so they didn't have to.That is until a few years ago I found a fibro doctor and he told me that is what I had...( I could have told him that...LOL ) So he loaded me up with pain pills YIKES...there went three years of my life...
And my pain was worse when I was on drugs to but I think that has more to do with your body always wanting more drugs than the fibro...Not that the fibro doesn't hurt...It does...And like you I was super woman in the beginning.I could work all day and then go to work at night...But it caught up with me to...Then I was spending all my money on drugs and they weren't working anymore...That sucked...Sorry for the book,I just want you to know I know how you feel...
So here we are today....
I have tried all kinds of things for fibro all the drugs for it and none of them worked for me...that is not saying they wont work for you...They just didn't for me...
The most important thing that I can do for myself is mental...
Staying positive is key...#1 I always tell myself things will work out just fine and then I make sure they do...
Then there is exercise...You know how all of your mussels feel so tight....That is why I stretch and run everyday and I have DDD...(please don't make me spell that...LOL)But that is why I do the 8 min abs it helps my back...And the being tired all day YIKES that is called fibro fog.That is the worst I get that everyday I'm up at six and tired in just a couple hours that is why I liked the pain pills...But now I just push thru it thats all I know how to do,But it works for me.There are a lot of people out there with a lot more problems than we have.So GOD has been very good to me.One of my best friends has M.S. and she is in a wheel chair and she has a hard time breathing,her daughter is 17 and she just prays to stay alive long enough to get her daughter raised,So I really feel blessed that all I have is my little problems... I know this is not much help but Its nice to know your not the only one out there...And you can live a great life with fibro...OH...Lets not forget the ANXIETY...That runs in my family also...I have learned how to take care of that also...LOL..That was always about money for me...So now I just work my butt off and make sure I have enough to pay all of my bills and the anxiety goes away...Imagin that...LOL
Just one day at a time...And just one problem at a time.that is how I get thru my days...But they are good days now and Im very happy...
So this is my book on life...LOL
I dont know if I have even answered any of your questions,but I tried...
You can get thru this I know your as strong as I am I can tell just by what you have been thru...And your not a worry wart...and I like talking to you...
Talk to you soon...
Your friend, Melinda
Just let the past go.It doesn't matter the only thing that matters is right now.

OH...This is the longest post I have EVER done...LOL...

[lilbri]

Yes it is your longest post and you are still an angel.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by lilbri

Yes it is your longest post and you are still an angel.

Hi Brian
Thank you...
How are you doing ???
Is your back getting better ???
Let me know how you are...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[learning_to_be_free]

Melinda thanks for all the advice. Im sure i'll be calling on you again. I have been trying to stay posative but the more I read about fibro the more discouraged I get so many people suffering with no known "here something this will help". Theres so many aspects to this I overwhelmed. I have taken my neurotion for a week now with no noticeable differance. I will continue to take it until my next appt on the 9th and see what she says. I need some of that posativity(sp)you have I think that is one of my worse problems folloing the chronic pain and fatigue. How do you do all the stuff you do with this fatigue and fog over you, or did you not get that with your fibro? I am so tired all the time and my sleep is so screwed always has been. I barely take care of my kids I feel so guilty for not always being there for them. I am trying to get more things done but I just seem to get side tracked on every project making a bigger mess. My bf is a hoarder/packrat making my life hell! Im overwhelmed enough w/o the constant piles of his ******** everywhere. sorry ranting again. I will try the streching I found some on a website to try. Do you know of any herbial/alternative things that would help the fatigue. I think if I wasnt so tired my depression would lift some. I also need to find ways to get the pain under control more quickly than just neurotion. I also have DDD. Thanks again so much. I know for sure now the way we meet and where that lead was no coincidence it was a miracle from God.
Robert I am ready to down dose I hope I want to try 3/4mg a day but I dont know how to do that should I just try the .5mg Do you think Im ready? I want this over with so badly I want to be free Thanks for all your help sorry I havent posted about this in so long. I was lost as to what to do

[Robert_325]

Free .... it's been a little while now since you reduced. I'm glad you want to do this. I forget exactly what you've been taking. Is it 1mg? Tell me and I will tell you what to do.

[python134r]

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through at the moment, I know what you are going through and empathize with you much. Just keep your kool and stay on trac. You know you have mucho support here.

I am still sober, but cannot sleep, for weeks, its kicken my butt, but the alternative will kill me so........I stay sober. It is so much more difficult with the responsibilities of family, work....life on your head while attempting to stay sober. I had to either clear up pending issues with work, family and give myself time without "normal life pressures" to just get stable enough to do it again(get sober) that was easy . Staying sober is the litmus test. But once clean and thinking clearly I could deal with life's pressures, without looking to get outside myself.

I just wanted to say hello to you all and miss not being around for a bit. I don't want to hijack the tread so I am saying goodnight, have not slept in 2 days and I feel tired so I will attempt to sleep[a luxury for me ATPT]

God bless you all

Rich g

[learning_to_be_free]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

Free .... it's been a little while now since you reduced. I'm glad you want to do this. I forget exactly what you've been taking. Is it 1mg? Tell me and I will tell you what to do.

Robert I have been taking 1-1.5mg its hard to tell but I know its no less than that. I have close to half a 2mg piece at the end of the day. I want to just continue to down dose if I wait for less stress, less pain, or fatigue than I'll never get off the sub. Before I start thinking crazy like "i'll just take 2mg then I'll feel better" I need to get off the sub. I know because I've thought it already and I dont want to go there. I have worked so hard. I desearve for this to work. I dearve to be free from opiates! I have to stop acting like a baby and just do this. Seems I'm going to have start trying to have that kind of attitude anyway. So I figure I'll try pushing through this with a "I can do this no matter what" attitude. I used to have that attitude as a teenager I had no choice. I have no choice now but being a stay at home mom I have tricked myself into thinking I had the choice of just lying around here feeling sorry for myself because Im an addict an have some condition that I before couldnt identify. Now that I know what it is I have to act. I will take any advice and really try. Im trying to get that attitude like Melinda. I need to address my major deppresion. I think I will post to Erin and see what she thinks. Sorry for all the extra ******** in this post. I just feel I can & need talk with you guys. The info you asked for is in here. Sorry again for all the extra stuff. I will try to focus on getting off the sub the continue with all the other stuff. Do you think that this is a good idea? I need your input I am feeling lost. Thanks so much. I cant say that enough1 I hope you know how really thankful I am for you and Melinda and this forum who knows where I'd be w/o it or even if I'd be.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by learning_to_be_free

Robert I have been taking 1-1.5mg its hard to tell but I know its no less than that. I have close to half a 2mg piece at the end of the day. I want to just continue to down dose if I wait for less stress, less pain, or fatigue than I'll never get off the sub. Before I start thinking crazy like "i'll just take 2mg then I'll feel better" I need to get off the sub. I know because I've thought it already and I dont want to go there. I have worked so hard. I desearve for this to work. I dearve to be free from opiates! I have to stop acting like a baby and just do this. Seems I'm going to have start trying to have that kind of attitude anyway. So I figure I'll try pushing through this with a "I can do this no matter what" attitude. I used to have that attitude as a teenager I had no choice. I have no choice now but being a stay at home mom I have tricked myself into thinking I had the choice of just lying around here feeling sorry for myself because Im an addict an have some condition that I before couldnt identify. Now that I know what it is I have to act. I will take any advice and really try. Im trying to get that attitude like Melinda. I need to address my major deppresion. I think I will post to Erin and see what she thinks. Sorry for all the extra ******** in this post. I just feel I can & need talk with you guys. The info you asked for is in here. Sorry again for all the extra stuff. I will try to focus on getting off the sub the continue with all the other stuff. Do you think that this is a good idea? I need your input I am feeling lost. Thanks so much. I cant say that enough1 I hope you know how really thankful I am for you and Melinda and this forum who knows where I'd be w/o it or even if I'd be.

I remember now telling you to just "hang" at 1/5-2mg of sub until you got some of this other mess behind you. Glad you're ready to move forward. First thing is we need to get you back on the same dose every day. Can't be taking different amounts each day. Since you're taking 1-1.5mg per day lets just start this at 1mg and get you stable there there.

Starting tomorrow take .5mg twice a day. You know the drill. Same time each day, do it for four days without any w/d symptoms. Try to hang tough through this and let's get you stable at 1mg. Let me know how you do. God bless.

[learning_to_be_free]

Originally Posted by Robert_325

I remember now telling you to just "hang" at 1/5-2mg of sub until you got some of this other mess behind you. Glad you're ready to move forward. First thing is we need to get you back on the same dose every day. Can't be taking different amounts each day. Since you're taking 1-1.5mg per day lets just start this at 1mg and get you stable there there.

Starting tomorrow take .5mg twice a day. You know the drill. Same time each day, do it for four days without any w/d symptoms. Try to hang tough through this and let's get you stable at 1mg. Let me know how you do. God bless.

tomorrow I will start taking 1mg/.5 2x a day I will let you how it goes I will post here everyday with short updates if you dont mind. I know you busy you dont have to post back everyday just when you think nessicary. On the 4th or 5th day If all goes well I'll be asking your advice again ...you know the drill lol Just want to let you and Melinda know how its going with both issues. You have a great weekend

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by learning_to_be_free

Melinda thanks for all the advice. Im sure i'll be calling on you again. I have been trying to stay posative but the more I read about fibro the more discouraged I get so many people suffering with no known "here something this will help". Theres so many aspects to this I overwhelmed. I have taken my neurotion for a week now with no noticeable differance. I will continue to take it until my next appt on the 9th and see what she says. I need some of that posativity(sp)you have I think that is one of my worse problems folloing the chronic pain and fatigue. How do you do all the stuff you do with this fatigue and fog over you, or did you not get that with your fibro? I am so tired all the time and my sleep is so screwed always has been. I barely take care of my kids I feel so guilty for not always being there for them. I am trying to get more things done but I just seem to get side tracked on every project making a bigger mess. My bf is a hoarder/packrat making my life hell! Im overwhelmed enough w/o the constant piles of his ******** everywhere. sorry ranting again. I will try the streching I found some on a website to try. Do you know of any herbial/alternative things that would help the fatigue. I think if I wasnt so tired my depression would lift some. I also need to find ways to get the pain under control more quickly than just neurotion. I also have DDD. Thanks again so much. I know for sure now the way we meet and where that lead was no coincidence it was a miracle from God.
Robert I am ready to down dose I hope I want to try 3/4mg a day but I dont know how to do that should I just try the .5mg Do you think Im ready? I want this over with so badly I want to be free Thanks for all your help sorry I havent posted about this in so long. I was lost as to what to do

Hi Free
Well I stopped reading about fibro a long time ago I just never found anything that helped me,I think they are full of cra*,And yes I do have fibro fog it gets really bad sometimes it makes me forget things allot.and very tired and makes you feel like you are in a very bad fog.I could go on and on..LOL
You have to trust me I have my bad days to, but I pretty much have my brain trained to just do it anyway.I always tell myself I'm going to hurt if I'm sitting here or if I'm doing something. So off I go...

I have always had sleep issues too..I do take benadryl and if it gets really bad like 2 or 3 days in a row I will take ambien. I just wont take it every night to scared to...

I did try neurotion, But I didn't get along with it...
I was at a stop light and it turned green and I didn't know if I was suppose to go or to stop, so that was the last time I took it.I tried the others also YUCK...

OK when I have to work and I have my fog going on, this is what I do...
Its going to sound stupid...
I put my I-pod on and turn it up loud and for some reason it makes it stop, I'm sure it has something to do with interrupting the brain pattern thats so screwed up in the first place.LOL
I notice the fog the most when I'm idol.
It's funny I HATE piles of cra* around to, it must be something with us fibro anxiety people.LOL


What I do for exercise is 8 min abs It has helped my back so much I can't believe it, and the running I do for myself it makes me feel good, Better than any drug but start out slow,or Yul be sorry.
I did 3 miles the first time and I thought I was going to die

I hope you know how good you are doing I know you feel like you are spinning your wheels but OMG you have done so well. We are so proud of you.
If you don't mind me asking how old are your kids...
My baby is 17, I'm sure I have told you that already.

It gave me goose bumps when you said GOD had us meet,I know your right,He brought me to this forum to...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[learning_to_be_free]

Originally Posted by melinda7.5

Hi Free
Well I stopped reading about fibro a long time ago I just never found anything that helped me,I think they are full of cra*,And yes I do have fibro fog it gets really bad sometimes it makes me forget things allot.and very tired and makes you feel like you are in a very bad fog.I could go on and on..LOL
You have to trust me I have my bad days to, but I pretty much have my brain trained to just do it anyway.I always tell myself I'm going to hurt if I'm sitting here or if I'm doing something. So off I go...

I have always had sleep issues too..I do take benadryl and if it gets really bad like 2 or 3 days in a row I will take ambien. I just wont take it every night to scared to...

I did try neurotion, But I didn't get along with it...
I was at a stop light and it turned green and I didn't know if I was suppose to go or to stop, so that was the last time I took it.I tried the others also YUCK...

OK when I have to work and I have my fog going on, this is what I do...
Its going to sound stupid...
I put my I-pod on and turn it up loud and for some reason it makes it stop, I'm sure it has something to do with interrupting the brain pattern thats so screwed up in the first place.LOL
I notice the fog the most when I'm idol.
It's funny I HATE piles of cra* around to, it must be something with us fibro anxiety people.LOL


What I do for exercise is 8 min abs It has helped my back so much I can't believe it, and the running I do for myself it makes me feel good, Better than any drug but start out slow,or Yul be sorry.
I did 3 miles the first time and I thought I was going to die

I hope you know how good you are doing I know you feel like you are spinning your wheels but OMG you have done so well. We are so proud of you.
If you don't mind me asking how old are your kids...
My baby is 17, I'm sure I have told you that already.

It gave me goose bumps when you said GOD had us meet,I know your right,He brought me to this forum to...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

My boys are 5 and 10, I dont mind your asking at all. My 10 year old has issues that may be bi-polor, severe ADHD, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety. My mind is always on myself & him and what to do next we both need so much help. I have missed some of his appts due to my issues leaving me feeling guilty, but Im trying to leave that behind me now. I have a great therapist so does he but his psychriast kinda sucks he is difficult to work with but Im doing my best.
Can you explain your experience with nuerotion with some more detail please if you dont mind. And some of the diet changes you made, I think it was you that said you made diet changes that helped. I have a problem with not being able to eat. Its definetly not a body image issue. I just cant get an appitete or get food down most of the time. I drink boast or Ensure just to get some of what I need in me to function. If I eat a regular meal I will be doubled over in pain within a half hour & 2secs from calling 911. I can eat rice and chiken sandwiches for some reason? but not much else.
I am very thankful for your help and do believe whole heartly what I said about how we meet. It will forever change my life....

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by learning_to_be_free

My boys are 5 and 10, I dont mind your asking at all. My 10 year old has issues that may be bi-polor, severe ADHD, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety. My mind is always on myself & him and what to do next we both need so much help. I have missed some of his appts due to my issues leaving me feeling guilty, but Im trying to leave that behind me now. I have a great therapist so does he but his psychriast kinda sucks he is difficult to work with but Im doing my best.
Can you explain your experience with nuerotion with some more detail please if you dont mind. And some of the diet changes you made, I think it was you that said you made diet changes that helped. I have a problem with not being able to eat. Its definetly not a body image issue. I just cant get an appitete or get food down most of the time. I drink boast or Ensure just to get some of what I need in me to function. If I eat a regular meal I will be doubled over in pain within a half hour & 2secs from calling 911. I can eat rice and chiken sandwiches for some reason? but not much else.
I am very thankful for your help and do believe whole heartly what I said about how we meet. It will forever change my life....

Hi Free
I cant believe I forgot to tell you about my diet,I truly believe that has helped Me the most,Its real easy..I wont eat sugar or flour. If I do the pain comes right back with full force and I kind of go into a sugar coma,but I'm not diabetic.

I was very confused on the nuerotion I just couldn't think clearly and the lyraca(sp) was worse for me I slept for to week trying to get used to it and gave up
A friend of mine tried it to and had the same problem. But I'm not saying that wont work for you I have heard it has worked for some people.

And then STRESS that really brings it on...OH MAN..LOL
with kids and working I have To go on business trip Houston next weekend.
so I have been a busy girl lately...

But you know what we are going to be just fine just like everything else,we will take it one day at a time

Talk to you soon, Melinda

[aam165]

Hey Learning, long time no talk...im sorry about your recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia (sp?)...ive noticed melinda has been helping you and that's good, i think we need all the help we can get...I was dating a girl, gosh it had to me like 8 months ago now but it seemed like yesterday...anyways, dating her was the first experience i ever had with fibro, i didn't even know what it was...well, i never got really close with her, i didn't know what medication she was on...however, the one thing she did say that helped her was excercise...she worked out with a personal trainer, she said because she had motivational issues...regardless, i noticed a huge difference in her demeanor when she would see her trainer...idk, im just trying to give some suggestions...

Do you think your older son knows you worry about him all the time? I was the younger child, my mom's baby, but i was (and still am) the source of all her worries...my problems weren't legit, however, i was just an awful kid...school, drugs, drinking, sneaking out, etc...im def not qualified to give advice, but at least i wanted to offer my experience and she if anyone can weigh in...i was such a selfish little bastard and didn't even worry about how my mom was feeling...i wish her and I communicated more openly...i don't know why we didn't, maybe she didn't really want to believe that I was as terrible as I really was...now, im at the point where if my mom knew about all the problems and bad things ive done, i don't think she could take it...im not sure why i rambled on that for so long...i feel so guilty for consuming my mom's life, i wish id have communicated better at a younger age though...

I know this is a long post, but one more quick question...have you had trouble sleeping as you've lowered your doseage? I finally got down below 1 mg, yesterday was my first day...i felt fine during the day, but my sleeping was weird...i had extremely vivid dreams, but my sleep felt like it was lasting for ten minutes at a time...i felt as though i didn't sleep at all, but i know i had to be sleeping because of the dreams...ok, i doubt anyone will even make it down this far into the post, so ill stop rambling...i hope all is well, i will talk to you soon

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by aam165

Hey Learning, long time no talk...im sorry about your recent diagnosis of fibromyalgia (sp?)...ive noticed melinda has been helping you and that's good, i think we need all the help we can get...I was dating a girl, gosh it had to me like 8 months ago now but it seemed like yesterday...anyways, dating her was the first experience i ever had with fibro, i didn't even know what it was...well, i never got really close with her, i didn't know what medication she was on...however, the one thing she did say that helped her was excercise...she worked out with a personal trainer, she said because she had motivational issues...regardless, i noticed a huge difference in her demeanor when she would see her trainer...idk, im just trying to give some suggestions...

Do you think your older son knows you worry about him all the time? I was the younger child, my mom's baby, but i was (and still am) the source of all her worries...my problems weren't legit, however, i was just an awful kid...school, drugs, drinking, sneaking out, etc...I'm def not qualified to give advice, but at least i wanted to offer my experience and she if anyone can weigh in...i was such a selfish little bastard and didn't even worry about how my mom was feeling...i wish her and I communicated more openly...i don't know why we didn't, maybe she didn't really want to believe that I was as terrible as I really was...now, im at the point where if my mom knew about all the problems and bad things Ive done, i don't think she could take it...im not sure why i rambled on that for so long...i feel so guilty for consuming my mom's life, i wish id have communicated better at a younger age though...

I know this is a long post, but one more quick question...have you had trouble sleeping as you've lowered your doseage? I finally got down below 1 mg, yesterday was my first day...i felt fine during the day, but my sleeping was weird...i had extremely vivid dreams, but my sleep felt like it was lasting for ten minutes at a time...i felt as though i didn't sleep at all, but i know i had to be sleeping because of the dreams...ok, i doubt anyone will even make it down this far into the post, so ill stop rambling...i hope all is well, i will talk to you soon

Hi aam
your to funny...I read all of your post it wasn't that long.LOL
You are so right about the exercise and fibro,It really is the only thing that really helps me...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[aam165]

Hey Melinda,

I always felt so bad for my friend...some days she would literally be in so much pain that I would have to help her out of bed...it kind of gives me perspective though, if she could get through that problem, which was an everyday problem, then it's not impossible for any of us...we just need to stay positive...

alex

[learning_to_be_free]

sorry i havent posted youngest son very sick i will post tomorrow

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by learning_to_be_free

sorry i havent posted youngest son very sick i will post tomorrow

Hi free
You just do what you need to do ..
We will be here when he is better..
See what a good mom you are,I always new that about you..
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[learning_to_be_free]

Originally Posted by python134r

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through at the moment, I know what you are going through and empathize with you much. Just keep your kool and stay on trac. You know you have mucho support here.

I am still sober, but cannot sleep, for weeks, its kicken my butt, but the alternative will kill me so........I stay sober. It is so much more difficult with the responsibilities of family, work....life on your head while attempting to stay sober. I had to either clear up pending issues with work, family and give myself time without "normal life pressures" to just get stable enough to do it again(get sober) that was easy . Staying sober is the litmus test. But once clean and thinking clearly I could deal with life's pressures, without looking to get outside myself.

I just wanted to say hello to you all and miss not being around for a bit. I don't want to hijack the tread so I am saying goodnight, have not slept in 2 days and I feel tired so I will attempt to sleep[a luxury for me ATPT]

God bless you all

Rich g

Kudos to you for dealing with all this and by no means are you hijacking the thread. If you have any advice on fibro or chronic fatigue Im all ears. Congrats on staying clean. I hope with all my heart I will be completely clean someday very soon.

[melinda7.5]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------ok so i cheated and copy and pasted this on you thread-----

Hi Free
Have you heard of the Atkins diet...Meat cheese and eggs....for starters
That is a good way to start a fibro diet...there is no flour or sugar in it.
Then you can start to add things like once a week and if it makes you feel bad then you know you cant eat it...
and for the fatigue,,I know this is a catch 22, but you have to do something fun for yourself it will help your depression also,is there anything you can think of that you like to do...
Is there a cute boy you can go flirt with that will help...LOL
I'm glad you posted if you feel bad come on here I can cheer you up...
Talk to you soon,Melinda
you could send me an e-mail to...

[learning_to_be_free]

hey guys sorry for the delay my baby boy was sick not really a baby he 5 but you know what I mean. Your kids get sick and everything else justs falls out of your brain, it must be instinctual lol. Robert I have been taking 1mg a day/.5 2x a day and I have had w/d symptoms. Nothing major, the goosebumps, exccessive yawning, and RLS at night. I would like to push forward if you think thats a good idea. You just let me know. Its getting very hard to cut even with brand new blades I still usually crumble one side of the piece Im attempting to cut. I just store the micro-crumbs in a differant pill bottle and get a new 1mg piece for the next dose. My mind tells me Im not taking enough it just looks like a crumb. Thats an addicts brain for ya.
Melinda I need some advice on combating this fatigue. The fatigue causes depession & stress which amplifies the pain. I know you say exercise but I feel too tired to do any exercise. I did walk the stores for a few hrs around Christmas but was miserable the whole time. What am I to do I sorry Im asking you to hold my hand through this. I know you are so busy. I feel bad. I will take you advice when you have the time to give it. I asked you stuff on aam's thread "trying to taper please help" if you would like to read it. Thanks for all your help
i see you answered somethings already

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by learning_to_be_free

hey guys sorry for the delay my baby boy was sick not really a baby he 5 but you know what I mean. Your kids get sick and everything else justs falls out of your brain, it must be instinctual lol. Robert I have been taking 1mg a day/.5 2x a day and I have had w/d symptoms. Nothing major, the goosebumps, exccessive yawning, and RLS at night. I would like to push forward if you think thats a good idea. You just let me know. Its getting very hard to cut even with brand new blades I still usually crumble one side of the piece Im attempting to cut. I just store the micro-crumbs in a differant pill bottle and get a new 1mg piece for the next dose. My mind tells me Im not taking enough it just looks like a crumb. Thats an addicts brain for ya.
Melinda I need some advice on combating this fatigue. The fatigue causes depession & stress which amplifies the pain. I know you say exercise but I feel too tired to do any exercise. I did walk the stores for a few hrs around Christmas but was miserable the whole time. What am I to do I sorry Im asking you to hold my hand through this. I know you are so busy. I feel bad. I will take you advice when you have the time to give it. I asked you stuff on aam's thread "trying to taper please help" if you would like to read it. Thanks for all your help
i see you answered somethings already

Hi Free, Please don't feel bad about asking me anything anytime,,you know this place is my new drug of choice...
you need to find something you like to do is there anything you can think of.
something just for you !!! It lets you think ahead and think about fun instead of dume and glume...and you know the what if thinking...
Did you try the cute boy thing yet...LOL
When my kids were small I was third base coach on there baseball team,It was so much fun...are team really kicked a$$
It really is a balance try to have some fun and then face reality it evens life out a bit
Tell me if any of this makes any sense to you or I will come up with something else
Talk to you soon, Melinda