[hatnhydros]

Hello to everyone ima newbie and on my blackberry so please bare with me,I've have been reading ths site for two weeks and finally decided I needed someone to talk to,you guys seem so understanding and great I'm so scared, I started taking vics 4 years ago it started with buying seven on the weekends and that's was it come monday morning I went to work not worrying about it and they were 7.5s at that then out of nowhere I started taken them everyday now I do have endomettiosis however u spell it and migranes since I was twelve,but never took pain meds unless I was having surgery or went to the er. I buy my pills off the street and I have been going to the dr for a year and get 120 ten milg vics a month,I want to quit soooooo bad yet imm soo scared,I have a wonderful family and boyfriend who has no idea,and I don't work I got fired a year ago and have been cleaning houses enough of my ramble I just need someone to comfort me and tell me I can do this a lot has haapen this past year which I won't get into because it will become a book but I'm just crying out for help I'm so lonely and confusedm

[hatnhydros]

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

[hatnhydros]

Sorry about the spelling and grammer this phone is hard to use

[ddosher]

Originally Posted by hatnhydros

Hello to everyone ima newbie and on my blackberry so please bare with me,I've have been reading ths site for two weeks and finally decided I needed someone to talk to,you guys seem so understanding and great I'm so scared, I started taking vics 4 years ago it started with buying seven on the weekends and that's was it come monday morning I went to work not worrying about it and they were 7.5s at that then out of nowhere I started taken them everyday now I do have endomettiosis however u spell it and migranes since I was twelve,but never took pain meds unless I was having surgery or went to the er. I buy my pills off the street and I have been going to the dr for a year and get 120 ten milg vics a month,I want to quit soooooo bad yet imm soo scared,I have a wonderful family and boyfriend who has no idea,and I don't work I got fired a year ago and have been cleaning houses enough of my ramble I just need someone to comfort me and tell me I can do this a lot has haapen this past year which I won't get into because it will become a book but I'm just crying out for help I'm so lonely and confusedm

You CAN do this!. I jumped off a med called Suboxone 29 days ago. I should never have just jumped off 8mgs but due to a series of financial circumstances, I really had no choice. I am sorry I had to take such a rough road. I have been very sick and at times quite non-functional. But you shouldn't have to do it the way I did. Let Robert_325 help you taper. It may sound drastic to you, but you NEED to get around some sober people either by way of AA or NA. I went to a speaker meeting last eveneing that set my tone for today. The man that spoke was no different than me or you and he told a sad but true story. The good news is that he loves the followship of AA and he has almost 30 years of sobriety one day at a time. He HAS what I WANT. Hopefully you do too. Please continue to reach out and post here. I will talk to you and answer your questions and fears. I am SO determined to get my life back. I know I can do this. But I need you too. God bless and best of luck.
Donna

[melinda7.5]

hi hatnhydros
You sound just like i did back in Aug. I have been clean now since then you can get all the support here that you need I was just on my way out the door for work...but there will be others on here shortly to help and I will be back after work , Its going to be OK you can do this...
Talk to you soon ,Melinda

[pharmstud(ent)]

You can do this!! Just taper down slowly, don't try go down extremely fast and you will be "fine". It won't be perfect or easy but you will be so glad when you stop, keep your eye on the prize at the end of the tunnel. You will be so much happier and I'm sure you dont want to have to be reliant on medication to feel normal. You can do this, just take it a day at a time and don't rush it too fast on how much you decrease your dose, it is not a super quick process because cold turkey would be too overwhelming and probably cause you to not want to quit. You can certainly do it and we are all here to help you if you need it! Let us know if you need anything!

[hatnhydros]

Thank u for being so compassionate I'm not even sure if I'm still posting to my orginal one bcause I thnk the website mayb layed out a lil different on a blackberry then a reg computer. I got a question will somas help with the leg and body spasms that's one of the thngs I hate most

[magsj]

Dear Hatnhydros-

This is a great place to come for help, encouragement and advice. I too was scared to death of withdrawal and it took me a year of doing nothing but ruminating and worrying about it before I did something about it. There are ways to get off the hydros without having to go through weeks and weeks of agony. It's only been about 2 weeks since I started the process of getting off of Methadone and Norco with the use of Suboxone.

I KNOW the struggle that goes on in your head when your ready to quit and it can be very exhausting. There are people here that can help you decide how to achieve your goal and walk you through it, the main man here is Robert, but there are many others that can help as well. I am sure they will check this site today and get back to you. They are VERY dedicated to helping others with drug addiction.

I know what you are going through, but dont' worry you CAN do this and I really don't think it will be as bad as you think if you are willing to trust the people here who absolutely know what they are talking about (Robert, Melinda, etc.). I'm sure you will hear from others soon.

Hang in there. We CAN get you through this.

mags

[hatnhydros]

Thank u that made me feel better yup I heard roberts name a lot and I'm hoping I will be able to tlk to him,well everyone for that matter yall are so kind I just wish I could hug all of u,but since I can't here is one through the computer....hugsssssss to all thank u

[cairysse1]

Originally Posted by hatnhydros

Thank u for being so compassionate I'm not even sure if I'm still posting to my orginal one bcause I thnk the website mayb layed out a lil different on a blackberry then a reg computer. I got a question will somas help with the leg and body spasms that's one of the thngs I hate most

negative sweetie. pain pills and somas go hand in hand. somas are very addicting and you'd probably end up substituting one for the other or be on both! i had a friend die on soma overdose at 33. she was taking like 15 at one time! the classic scenario is go to the quack dr and get 120 vicodins, somas, and xanax for the abusers. but try taking that to the pharm. i had a vicodin script once and i take adderall, a controlled sub, and pharm said they were out? yeah right. the combo looked bad and they refused to fill it.

but anyway my mom is in your situation and i see how hard it is for her. she takes 8/day. but she has had multiple back surgeries but............. that doesnt make an addiction any less of an addiction. my mom tried suboxone to get off vicodin, but it didnt work i think b c she does have pain too.

just dont quit vicodin for something else is all i'm worrying about! hope you update us and good luck.

[Liz1004]

Hi, I've been reading some posts in this thread as well and everyone does seem especially understanding...which usually comes from going through the same thing themselves, I believe. I am new to this site and like you, I am addicted to painkillers. I have been on 120 Lortab 10's a month for about 5 years and things are looking kinda hopeless.
For me, it started off with a lot of back pain and escalated into stone-cold addiction. Along with the physical need, it satisfied me emotionally...kind of felt like I was viewing my problems through a cloudy haze. Now I have no physical need for pills, but I cant stop. I am 31 years old and feel crippled by this all-consuming need.
I take almost 20 pills a day now and I know its so dangerous.
Does anyone have any advice for the emotional and psychological dependence? I have tried several times to get off of these pills, and I get through the physical withdrawals and then something will happen and I start using again.
Thanks to all the people who post in these threads. You do so much good sharing your stories and giving advice to people that need it.

[Robert_325]

Originally Posted by Liz1004

Hi, I've been reading some posts in this thread as well and everyone does seem especially understanding...which usually comes from going through the same thing themselves, I believe. I am new to this site and like you, I am addicted to painkillers. I have been on 120 Lortab 10's a month for about 5 years and things are looking kinda hopeless.
For me, it started off with a lot of back pain and escalated into stone-cold addiction. Along with the physical need, it satisfied me emotionally...kind of felt like I was viewing my problems through a cloudy haze. Now I have no physical need for pills, but I cant stop. I am 31 years old and feel crippled by this all-consuming need.
I take almost 20 pills a day now and I know its so dangerous.
Does anyone have any advice for the emotional and psychological dependence? I have tried several times to get off of these pills, and I get through the physical withdrawals and then something will happen and I start using again.
Thanks to all the people who post in these threads. You do so much good sharing your stories and giving advice to people that need it.

You've got to stop ... you know that. So you either cold turkey or use suboxone. If you want to do the cold turkey, which I always suggest first, use the Thomas Recipe for lessening the w/d symptoms. IF you can't make it through the cold turkey for whatever reason use suboxone. Here are links for both. God bless.

The Thomas Recipe

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/...show/16?cid=66

Suboxone/Subutex Therapy

http://www.drugs.com/forum/featured-...apy-50887.html

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Liz1004

Hi, I've been reading some posts in this thread as well and everyone does seem especially understanding...which usually comes from going through the same thing themselves, I believe. I am new to this site and like you, I am addicted to painkillers. I have been on 120 Lortab 10's a month for about 5 years and things are looking kinda hopeless.
For me, it started off with a lot of back pain and escalated into stone-cold addiction. Along with the physical need, it satisfied me emotionally...kind of felt like I was viewing my problems through a cloudy haze. Now I have no physical need for pills, but I cant stop. I am 31 years old and feel crippled by this all-consuming need.
I take almost 20 pills a day now and I know its so dangerous.
Does anyone have any advice for the emotional and psychological dependence? I have tried several times to get off of these pills, and I get through the physical withdrawals and then something will happen and I start using again.
Thanks to all the people who post in these threads. You do so much good sharing your stories and giving advice to people that need it.

Hi Liz
Allot of people use Na meeting or church or some kind of support system to stay off drugs you almost need to change something in your life..couse the way you are doing it is what got you started...
I know it scares the he!! out of me to think about using again...
good luck
Talk to you later,Melinda

[brndout]

Just a question . How long have you been taking 20 per day? Linda

[Liz1004]

Hi again-
Thanks for the posted replies! I may need to explain a bit further, because in my eyes my addiction is a bit wierd. I get 120 Lortab 10's a month from my dr. The script usually lasts me about 6 days at which time I go through the physical withdrawals again because (thankfully) I dont have the money to buy anymore. So I go through this every month....physically I can handle not having the pills, psychologically it is another story. Melinda, thanks for the NA rec! I have actually been to a meeting before but I started using again...so I stopped going because I was ashamed. I know I have a problem and I know I also need help....but I have always tried to handle things myself because I've been hurt by so many people. I know thats not healthy...its just hard to get past it.
Brndout...in response to your question....I have been taking 120 Lortabs a month for about 5 years...the past 2 years I've been taking 20 a day (6 days per month).
Once again, thanks all of you for your help. It means a lot that you would take time out to respond to me....like I mentioned earlier, its hard for me to ask for help, but its a little easier online.

[melinda7.5]

Hi Liz
I just want you to know you can come on here anytime.There are allot of us that would love to help you any time.
You really must be pretty strong...It would be hard to go thru that every month...OH MAN...LOL I was on allot of drugs for about 3 years...
But It wore me out...The withdrawals and all the money I spent...
I finally decided it was time to stop for good...

let us know how you are doing...
Talk to you soon,Melinda

[ARTIST658]

Hi Liz (Liz1004),

I had similar drug use to yours; I took the medication for chronic pain to begin with, then it became as you so eloquently put it, "stone-cold addiction." As I understand, you take the full prescription within the first few days after you get it - then go "cold turkey" for several weeks until the next refill. That's what I did, too. So, as I understand, you want help with the psychological dependence more than a "tapering off schedule." Hon, I have been exactly where you are. I want you to know there IS hope - there IS recovery, and joy in the process!

First off, I needed to be in a "safe place" to begin this road - for me, that was a detox, then a long-term treatment center. I needed to be somewhere that I couldn't get the drug, even if I wanted to! (I couldn't trust myself at that point!) This isn't essential, but it helped me tremendously.

At the treatment center, that's where I began to delve into the underlying reasons that I used drugs - - the fears, the insecurities, the weak coping skills, etc. This is the same work that a person does through the 12 steps of NA or AA - just doing so in a safe setting. Many, many people do the same with just a 12-step program, without going in-patient; I just need some more intense work, without the disruptions of my day-to-day responsibilities, and in a place where drug use was impossible.

The 12-steps of recovery are all about getting to know WHY we used and abused drugs or booze. It's an amazing program that deals with what you are struggling with - the psychological aspects. Just stopping drug use is NOT enough, in my opinion -- we are still left with ourselves, still wanting for another drug. That's what I call "white-knuckling" it - and that's far more difficult!

Today, I'm clean over 5 years - and seldom even think about drugs. I have no cravings, no obsessive thoughts controlling me. I'm NOT the same person I was when I was using - that has changed through the 12 steps. I'm happy, truly happy in ways I never knew before recovery. The fog has lifted, my attitude has changed and I see life completely differently today.

I strongly urge you to give NA a chance. If you go, try to identify with what you hear - find what you have in common, such as the underlying emotional issues - rather than discounting what another says, simply because their drug use took a different form.

I wish you all the best - keep us posted!

[Liz1004]

Artist, its so comforting to know that there are others out there that have addictions similar to mine....I really want to get the peace and life-change that you have had. I would love to go to a treatment facility but my insurance doesnt cover it and I dont have the money otherwise. I think the best thing for me is going to be starting an NA group regularly. I need to realize even though I mess up, people will still welcome me.
Melinda, thanks so much for being supportive as well! I feel like this is the only place I can come at this point in my life and talk freely about this issue...so it means a lot that people are willing to listen.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Liz1004

Artist, its so comforting to know that there are others out there that have addictions similar to mine....I really want to get the peace and life-change that you have had. I would love to go to a treatment facility but my insurance doesnt cover it and I dont have the money otherwise. I think the best thing for me is going to be starting an NA group regularly. I need to realize even though I mess up, people will still welcome me.
Melinda, thanks so much for being supportive as well! I feel like this is the only place I can come at this point in my life and talk freely about this issue...so it means a lot that people are willing to listen.

Hi Liz
I think all of us addicts need to stick together...so if one of us falls the other will be there to help pull us back up...
Talk to you soon, Melinda

[ARTIST658]

<< I need to realize even though I mess up, people will still welcome me. >>

Oh yes Liz, that's essential... knowing we are still accepted, no matter what. And that's what I found in a 12-step meeting. Please keep in mind the basis behind the program: "All that is required for membership is the desire to stop using." We don't say that you are required to BE clean to join us; we clearly say, you just have to WANT it.

In my early days, I went to more than a few meetings high - it didn't feel particularly good doing it, but I was still accepted there. Those of us in recovery DO remember, DO understand. We have come to understand and accept that this is a disease, not a sign of moral weakness. You may run into a scattered few who feel the need to feel superior... just ignore them. It speaks more to where they are in their recovery than it speaks of you.

I'll be praying for you - and watching for your posts... please believe me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

[Liz1004]

God, I feel so low right now....I had a refill on the Lortabs and Ive been doing so good but today I got them filled. I just dont understand why I cant stop. I even went to an NA meeting 2 nights ago. This addiction feels so hopeless and I hate it, but I just cant quit. It just heals the hurt inside and I dont feel so depressed anymore. What a ********py day.

[melinda7.5]

Originally Posted by Liz1004

God, I feel so low right now....I had a refill on the Lortabs and Ive been doing so good but today I got them filled. I just don't understand why I cant stop. I even went to an NA meeting 2 nights ago. This addiction feels so hopeless and I hate it, but I just cant quit. It just heals the hurt inside and I don't feel so depressed anymore. What a ********py day.

Hi Liz
OHHH I did that more than once...LOL...just don't give up the fight...
Keep on trying you will get there...
Talk to you later, Melinda

[FreedomForMe]

Hi Newbies, I was in the same boat except I have been lurking through drugs.com for a couple yrs between the getting help thread (even though I never wanted to admit i couldnt quit anytime)and the where can I buy vicodin on the internet and I am sad to say up intill a couple of months ago I was they on the where to buy side more then this side. Quick run down on me I am a 47 yr old wife,mother and grandmother who ove the last 10 yrs have had back surgery and 5 knee surgeries with the last one being a knee replacement last yr, I had been taking 200+ 10's and 7.5 vic a month everyday for the last 5 + yrs. One day I just had had enough (and of course I didn't have any vicodin that day was May 9, 2009 so I went cold turkey and yes felt like I had the flu but I still had to go to work 6 days a week, well 6 days later i was offered some and dont u know I said sure and took some for 3 days I can remember writing about it and having Robert and Melinda tell me to quit beating myself up this is a new day just dont do it again!!! So I havent I have been clean since May 21 and yes sometimes I do still think about having some but then i put on my shoes and go for a short walk with the dogs. I did and do recommend the Thomas Recipe it made my w/d's easier I believe. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

Julie

[want2getstr8]

I have been reading some of the posts on this thread and I just wanted to say that it is great to know that I am not the only one. I started recreationally also and went through the week without them but then they got me. This is my third time quitting lately and I realize that I need some support. I am taking the advice of a poster and I am going to try an NA meeting. But I think the feedback I get on here is awsome and just realizing that I am a lot like a lot of the others on here. This is day four for me and I did a better job slowing down prior to stopping than on my first two attempts and I have to say that I feel great. You would not purposly cripple yourself; so why are we so willing to handicap our brains just to feel good? I can tell I am thinking sharper and my sense of humor is back. Everything does not seem so dark and gloomy. I guess what I am saying is hang with it and eventually you will get to a much better place than pills can get you.