[songstress]

Hello everyone. I am a new member and I've been reading through the numerous posts and I know I am not alone with this problem of pain pill addiction. I've checked out Suboxone and I know exactly what it is...the nasty naloxone blocks the opoid euphoria experienced by many people. I work in a doctors office and have been in the medical field for over 13 years, so I understand the medicines. I also understand the withdrawal as well. I don't have an addictive personality, which might sound strange, especially because I find myself in the position I'm in now. I am addicted to Fiorinal #3. It is the only medicine that relieves my migraines. I have experienced severe headaches since age 5 and as I got older the pain has become chronic and much worse. I have been to at least 4 neurologists for work ups. My 1st workup was in 1976 and that is when the neurosurgeon prescribed Fiorinal #3 for my severe headaches. My migraines aren't the classic migraine; but over the years, my body built up a tolerance to the med, but nothing else worked and I've tried many meds! I take 15/day on some days but have had to take less when I run low and am awaiting a refill. Not to run on too long, but I understand the depression that goes with the pain, the headaches caused by just taking too much of the medicine and the withdrawal. It is a vicious cycle and the most difficult to conquer is the fact that the pain is still going to be there and the mind urging you to relieve the pain. Because my medicine has Butalbital in it, I have the possibility of seizures if I w/d cold turkey. Basically, I'm just frightened out of my mind. One reaches a comfort zone, knowing the medicine is there, and to step outside that area is like stepping into a dark void. I need to wean off the meds but I am afraid. I also need to continue working. Thank you for taking the time to read my rather verbose post! I just didn't know how to condense it without a few details. I know I have support on this site, but if someone would talk with me by way of response, it would help a great deal. This website is wonderful and I am so glad to be here.
Take good care,
Song

[Baby Steps]

Oh Song... I am so so sorry you are going through this! I myself had horrendous migraines when I was younger and went through the same exact things you speak of! The doctor also gave me Fiorinal #3 and I like you (and not even knowing what addiction was then) fell into becoming addicted to them. I literally had to stop on my own because I wasn't able to wean. It was a very hard first 3 days but soon after I was completely free of them with the determination not to ever have to go through that again. I started taking 3 excedrines every mornign and then again at noon for the headaches which I still do.

Are you thinking of going ct? If so I can help you with a few tips to help with the withdrawal. Let me know.

I will also pray for you!

[songstress]

Your name says it all...each one of us needs to take baby steps because that is all we can do...live from one moment to the next and pray we get there. Somehow, I knew you would be one of the first people to respond! Thank you so much! I want to wean down and when I have none left it will be cold turkey. I actually had to go almost 5 days without any Fiorinal because the medicine wasn't delivered to the correct address. It was one of the most miserable weeks of my life, but I kept praying for the strength to get me through. I know it won't be easy; I have a high tolerance to just about any med it seems, i.e., Advil, Aleve, Aspirin. I would be most grateful for any advice you can offer me!

Take good care,
Song

[lyds]

Hi, Songstress.

Baby Steps is certainly our cheerleader. She is always this positive. Even when dealing with her own "stuff"!

I am not all that good at dispensing advice. I can share the things that worked for me, as I went C/T, but that's about it. If you're looking for that type of advice, I am all over it. I will pray for you and ask that you post whenever you can, as often as you can. It helps so much!

Welcome and Blessings!

[Baby Steps]

Originally Posted by songstress

Your name says it all...each one of us needs to take baby steps because that is all we can do...live from one moment to the next and pray we get there. Somehow, I knew you would be one of the first people to respond! Thank you so much! I want to wean down and when I have none left it will be cold turkey. I actually had to go almost 5 days without any Fiorinal because the medicine wasn't delivered to the correct address. It was one of the most miserable weeks of my life, but I kept praying for the strength to get me through. I know it won't be easy; I have a high tolerance to just about any med it seems, i.e., Advil, Aleve, Aspirin. I would be most grateful for any advice you can offer me!

Originally Posted by songstress

Take good care,
Song

Yes Song the name was a well thought out name and so so true... It is Baby Steps to freedom... baby's will fall down when they are learning to walk but they get back up and try again...

I'm not sure of your situation as far as work or kids but I took a Friday off (cause I work from home on Friday's) and Monday... I told everyone I was going out of town so I didn't have to go through the guilt of not socializing etc... I had Immodium for the stomach cramps and diahrea, Melatonin to help me to sleep (which I still take), lots of water... and weeks before I started taking Heavy B vitamins but not while you go through w/d... on day 2 I was able to eat a couple of pieces of Butter toast then on day 3 Peanut Butter (for the Protein) toast... I got everything done prior to quitting and did it... 2 excedrine every 3 hours for the headaches... they are the only thing that have ever worked for me since.

weaning would be take 20 percent less the first week for 2 weeks and continue that til your down to maybe 1 or 2 a day... Then jump... Please let me know what you will be doing and I will def. pray hard for you!!!

Bless You Song!!!

[Baby Steps]

OH I LOVE MY LYDS!!!! You are always such a sweetheart girl!!! I just noticed you posted here... I swear sometimes I can be such a dork! Thank you so much for your sweet words but you are a GREAT encourager and our PRAYER WARRIOR!!! Thank goodness because we all really need one sometimes! I read over on the painkiller addiction site where you're having issues at work... I am so so sorry! If you weren't married to the SWEETEST man on earth I'd offer you a job!

I Love you missy!! Stay sweet!

And Song... listen to LYDS... don't disappear... come back and tell us how you are because we care very much about you! And sometimes it's just you might need someone to talk to... we're here!

[pdxRx]

Songstress,

I can feel the anxiety in the words you have typed here. I know that the decisions you are trying to make are very difficult. Its is very hard to make a decision thats going to make you sick, and then to stick with it. It often takes a few tries to get everything right. Progress over perfect. Now after saying those things, this is a goal you can accomplish! Take one moment, hour, day at a time. At the start don't worry about the future, that can be overwhelming, make sure you are focused in the here and now. You are going to feel awful but remember it is because you have been treating you body that way for sometime. Be Selfish, do the things that are going to help you get through this. If that means taking a bath at 3 am to sooth your muscle then DO iT!

My advice would be to consult your doctor first! Whether you decide to taper, go c/t, or try smething like Subutex or suboxone. If you trust your Doctor to let him help you he can certainly provide you with some relief from the withdrawals. Second, would be to block off as much time away from work and other major responsiblities as you can. If you have to tell people you have the flu, thats what it is going to feel like (but worst), then tell them that.

I can't speak to the Sub. type drugs for kicking the habit. But I did a fast taper and then cold turkey. it was no fun, and I often wondered if I should have just gone c/t from the start, but I do know that the tapering did provide me with a little relief even if it was mostly psychological. If you have the will power, to do a long slow taper I think this is one of the healthiest ways to quit, but few people can actually this properly on their own.

Hope you get things figured out. Keep us post and please Lean on us for support.

[songstress]

I believe in prayer and to know that two wonderful people, who don't even know me, are praying for me means the world. I am so frightened but I can't think about that. I need to JUMP, and so I will begin to prepare for that leap of faith! Thank you for your advice, Baby Steps. I'm going to start preparing today! I always drink lots of water so that is one thing that will help. Don't worry...I will not disappear from this site and I will post often! So many other people need to know that we are all in this together. Just that knowledge is a great help!
Thank you again for your encouragement. I feel better about what I am about to do. I just don't want those pills to control my life any longer. I will keep you up to date.

Take good care, and my prayers are with both of you as well!
Song

[Baby Steps]

Simply Excellent advice as always my Friend PDX! Song I guess you can tell there are many of us who totally understand and are here for you!! PDX and LYDS have both done an excellent job at quitting... Not easy but like we all say... you have to have the will and determination and a plan to do it. And you sweetie sound like you're ready to start preparing... Please look in to an alternative for the migrains somehow... That will def. be the temptation... I will pray they are able to find something to help you.

[songstress]

Thank you pdxRX! My downfall is wanting to get it perfect the first time, but in a situation like this, I realize it isn't easy. You are very intuitive...I couldn't properly express just how great my anxiety is, after over 20 years of taking this medication! Thank you for your great advice. I will stay in touch and post often. I read the posts on this website several weeks before I had the courage to join and then post.

Take good care,
Song

[lyds]

Originally Posted by pdxRx

Songstress,

I can feel the anxiety in the words you have typed here. I know that the decisions you are trying to make are very difficult. Its is very hard to make a decision thats going to make you sick, and then to stick with it. It often takes a few tries to get everything right. Progress over perfect. Now after saying those things, this is a goal you can accomplish! Take one moment, hour, day at a time. At the start don't worry about the future, that can be overwhelming, make sure you are focused in the here and now. You are going to feel awful but remember it is because you have been treating you body that way for sometime. Be Selfish, do the things that are going to help you get through this. If that means taking a bath at 3 am to sooth your muscle then DO iT!

My advice would be to consult your doctor first! Whether you decide to taper, go c/t, or try smething like Subutex or suboxone. If you trust your Doctor to let him help you he can certainly provide you with some relief from the withdrawals. Second, would be to block off as much time away from work and other major responsiblities as you can. If you have to tell people you have the flu, thats what it is going to feel like (but worst), then tell them that.

I can't speak to the Sub. type drugs for kicking the habit. But I did a fast taper and then cold turkey. it was no fun, and I often wondered if I should have just gone c/t from the start, but I do know that the tapering did provide me with a little relief even if it was mostly psychological. If you have the will power, to do a long slow taper I think this is one of the healthiest ways to quit, but few people can actually this properly on their own.

Hope you get things figured out. Keep us post and please Lean on us for support.

This pretty much sums it up. Excellent advice, pdxRx. Seriously.

[lyds]

Originally Posted by songstress

I believe in prayer and to know that two wonderful people, who don't even know me, are praying for me means the world. I am so frightened but I can't think about that. I need to JUMP, and so I will begin to prepare for that leap of faith! Thank you for your advice, Baby Steps. I'm going to start preparing today! I always drink lots of water so that is one thing that will help. Don't worry...I will not disappear from this site and I will post often! So many other people need to know that we are all in this together. Just that knowledge is a great help!
Thank you again for your encouragement. I feel better about what I am about to do. I just don't want those pills to control my life any longer. I will keep you up to date.

Take good care, and my prayers are with both of you as well!
Song

I take my prayer life seriously, Song, so you can count on me! I feel it's a very important part of the healing process while kicking a habit. Especially one as serious as the ones we've kicked or are kicking.

It really is an awesome thing here at this board. I sincerely wonder if I would have been successful this time around without it. I have tried to quit so many times in the past just to start again.

And, thank YOU for the prayers. I need 'em!

[sydbean]

Songstress ~

Welcome!! Sorry it took me a bit to get a welcome up. I am just returning from a trip etc. so I am behind the eight ball a bit!!

Congratulations on making the decision to quit!!!

Addiction coupled with chronic pain issues is a muddled messy situation!! I know how much you must worry about what you will do for the pain if you stop the meds. One thing I want to tell you about (I apologize if you already have the info) but it has been proven that long term use of narcotic pain meds can cause hyper sensitivity to pain. Isn't that crazy? But it is true. You can actually end up experiencing MORE pain because of the meds you are using to get rid of pain!!! There are a lot of chronic pain patients that have reported that after finally getting of f the narcotics they were totally and completely blown away by how little pain they were actually experiencing daily!!

It is such a big thing that you have taken the step to speak out and address the problem. Although the experience of quitting your d.o.c is never "easy" it can at least be made better by some really good planning. It sounds as though you are familiar with Babysteps and her journey to sobriety. Let me tell you, that girl planned the heck out of her c/t experience. She thought of everything. Even making sure to gas up her car before she started so she wouldn't have to be in w/d trying to stand at the pump and deal with all that!!! It sounds funny but really every little thing you can do to make it a better experience is a step in the right direction.

I think that it will be really important for you to deal with this ONE DAY AT A TIME. First I think you need to figure out what you have left for meds, how long that will last you etc. and with all that in mind pick the day/days that you are going to stop. Once you can plan that, including making sure you are able to block of 3-4 days that you can hide away from everyone than we will all help you with figuring out exactly what comfort meds you can get and how to get you all set up for success!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! Just keep reminding yourself of this. As hard as it may be, try to stay out of your head...if you know what I mean. Don't worry about anything but the immediate task on hand. Don't think about a month down the road. Or how you will handle the next headache. You have taken such a positive first step...build on that and KEEP ON POSTING!!

WE WILL ALL BE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!! ( every time you have negative self talk in your head, as soon as you realize you are worrying about it, cut yourself off mid-thought and say I CAN DO THIS!!! Every single time it happens interrupt yourself and set it straight!!!)


YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

[songstress]

Hi Lyds,
We can't do anything on our own and I'm with you, I take my prayer life very seriously too. Each one of us needs the peace prayer brings. Prayer, and people who are going through the same experience, is truly our way back to normality.
My prayers are with you. Take good care.
Song

[songstress]

WOW! I truly mean it...WOW! Thank you Syd!!! One of the main reasons it has taken me so long to make the decision to quit was the concern about the pain. But you are absolutely correct...the high tolerance that requires more medicine to relieve the pain is probably (most definitely) causing rebound pain so it makes all the sense in the world that stopping the medicine will ease the pain. I'm sure I will be surprised at how little pain I have, once I'm off the Fiorinal. I must confess, it will be very difficult to stay out of my own head because I have a habit of thinking too much! But again, you are right. A day, a minute at a time, with no room for negative thoughts. Thank you so much and it is a pleasure to be here!
Take good care,
Song

[lyds]

Originally Posted by songstress

Hi Lyds,
We can't do anything on our own and I'm with you, I take my prayer life very seriously too. Each one of us needs the peace prayer brings. Prayer, and people who are going through the same experience, is truly our way back to normality.
Song

All I can say to this is, AMEN, Song. We can't do it on our own. I know my decision to completely face my addiction for what it was and then throwing it all at God's feet is what got me through. I also know God sent me here because this board has been a very important part of my healing. He rocks!

If you'd like, you are more than welcome to come join us over in the Pain Addiction thread. Not that it's my thread to "invite" anyone to join, but I did want you to know it's a great place to keep the momentum going!

[Baby Steps]

Hello Song! How are you today??? Lyds is absolutely right... Head over to the Painkiller Addiction site... we all would love to have you! That is where we are usually and don't come out to the other forums as much therefore we may miss your post or a time when you would like to chat... So please do come on in Song!

Blessings!