Okay..so a little background. Me and my husband have been on opiates/hydros for about 5 years. It started off for fun..pop a vicodin here and there for some energy. Well..that of course got out of hand pretty quick. We moved on to
Norco,
Percocet,
Lortab...anything we could get(all bought off the street mind you). Well, my husband got in a bad car accident in July of 2008. He started pain management and his doc prescribed him Roxy's. I dont know how many of you are are familiar with Roxicodone but they are a very strong opiate. Well, he gets 210 a month and they are gone in 3 weeks usually because we both abuse them. He takes about 8 a day and I take about 5. We both feel like we can not function without them. My brain is so trained to take them..I wake up in the morning and my first thought is to grab the bottle and pop one to start my day. We have both gotten to the point where we absolutely can not function without them. We have been through withdrawal 3 times, and we always go back. The lack of sleep usually makes us go right back. As of right now, this is day 2...he has not fell asleep yet and he has been in bed since 11pm. It is now after 7am. He talks about wanting to die because he can not sleep. He has tried
Valium,
Xanax, and every OTC sleeping pill. The pain in our legs and back is unbearable as well. Here are my 2 questions...or concerns rather. He goes back to his doc in 9 days...of course he will get his script. We REALLY want quit. I am so sick of relying on a damn pill to live my life. I dont remember what it feels like to be "normal"..that scares me. What if I dont like myself being clean...I only know life being all jacked up. If we quit together, what if we dont like each other anymore..what if I'm a bad mom without these pills that give me energy to go do things with my kids, get my house clean.
And then..what if he is in so much pain without the meds that he really cant function.
We have never been addicts of any drug. I never in my life thought this would be us. I feel worthless. I feel so weak, no will power against these pills. I never knew a damn pill could make you feel so horrible once you dont have it. Everyone says.."when will I feel normal again". I'm scared to know. I don't remember what normal is.
(sorry so long...I'm withdrawaling right now so bad and Im trying to focus on anything but pills...I guess ranting and venting helped for the last 6 minutes..lol)
Oh I forgot to mention..the few times we have withdrawled..for me..the anxiety is insane. Ive never had anxiety and it scares the hell out of me.
I really need some advice/help. 
Linear Mode
