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Hydrocodone Addiction
  1. #1
    help13 is offline New Member
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    Default Hydrocodone Addiction

    HI,I AM NEW HERE.I HAVE READ ALOT OF THE MESSAGES YOU ALL HAVE POSTED.I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I DEPEND ON PAINKILLERS TO GET ME THRU THE DAY.I HAVE BEEN ON HYDROC FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW TAKING AT LEAST 10 A DAY.TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY WITHOUT ANY AND MY MIND IS ALREADY THINKING WHO DO I CALL TODAY,BUT I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO CALL NOBODY.AND I AM REALLY SCARED OF THE W/D. CAN I REALLY KICK THIS ADDICTION?

  2. #2
    MorganaLeFay is offline Junior Member
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    Hi help13-
    I understand how you feel. I know it is hard to get through the day without thinking where you can get something, who you can get it from, etc. Are you quitting cold turkey, or have you been gradually reducing your dose every day? I'll tell you right now, if you are trying to go from taking 10 hydrocodones a day to taking 0 a day, you are about to start feeling EXTREMELY uncomfortable, especially if you have been taking them for 2 years. I was on oxycontin and hydrocodone for about 4 or 5 months, and I ended up having to go back to my doctor because of the withdrawals. He ended up putting me on methadone, which I was supposed to gradually reduce the dose of every day. I am not knocking methadone, because I know there are people out there, especially recovering >>>>>> addicts, who need it to get through life. But personally, I don't think reducing the dose of methadone is any easier than reducing your dose of hydrocodone. I ended up taking more methadone than I was supposed to and was just more addicted to opioids than I was before. Actually, the way that I quit finally was my doctor gave me a drug called Panlor SS, which has a weaker opioid called dihydrocodeine in it. Panlor also has a lot of Tylenol in it, which kept me from taking too much of it. So I never would get a high from it, but it kept me from getting withdrawals. Eventually I was able to reduce my dose. I am opioid free now, but I can say there usually isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about taking a pill. You should definitely see a doctor or go to a methadone clinic, don't quit cold turkey!!! There are other options, you don't have to go through withdrawals. I know you might feel ashamed to admit to someone in person that you are addicted to pills, but that is the hardest part! Someone will help you if you seek it! I feel for you and hope that you are successful, and admire you for wanting to quit. I think it's one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Good luck!

    ~Morgana~[:X]

  3. #3
    help13 is offline New Member
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    HI MORGANA,
    THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO REPLY.WELL I WENT OUT AND GOT MORE.I HAVE TWO KIDS 10 & 5 YEAR OLD GIRLS AND THEY ARE VISITING FOR THE WEEKEND.I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCUSE AND IT PROBABLY IS BUT THE LAST THING I WANT IS FOR MY CHILDREN TO SEE ME IN W/D'S.I OWN A BUSSINESS AND IT IS SUCCESSFUL HOW I'M DOING IT,I DONT KNOW I FORGOT HOW IT FEELS TO BE NORMAL.ONE THING I DO KNOW IS IF I DONT TAKE THE PILLS I CAN'T GET UP AND DO ANYTHING,BUT SUNDAY I AM GOING TO START MY MISSION. JUST THINKING OF QUITING HURTS.BUT I REALLY WANT TO.I WANT MY LIFE BACK.I TOLD MY CLOSE FRIENDS WHICH WAS VERY HARD TO DO BUT I GUESS ITS A START.I KNOW THEY WILL BE THERE FOR ME.WELL THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR CONCERN AND I ENVY YOU FOR QUITING I HOPE I CAN DO THE SAME.THIS WILL BE MY LARGEST MOUNTAIN.[|)]

  4. #4
    MorganaLeFay is offline Junior Member
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    It is completely understandable that you don't want your children to see you going through w/d's. It is not something that is easy to go through, and if they are only 5 & 10, they probably wouldn't understand why it is happening anyway. And trust me, I do understand about the not knowing what it's like to feel normal, and not being able to do anything. It is amazing what these drugs can do, they consume your life. Even though I haven't been taking pills daily, I will say that there have been times in the past year when I have taken them if I have gotten hold of them. And of course that just fuels the fire of addiction even more. Sometimes it is awful because it is all I think about all the time, and then I sit there wondering "How did I get to the point where I am sitting here all day thinking of how I can't function unless I get some pills?" If you don't see a doctor, at least try to cut your dose gradually. The wd's won't be quite as bad if you do that. Again, good luck to you, and if you need someone to talk to, please write back.

    ~Morgana~[:X]

  5. #5
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Have you thought about a methadone detox,you sound to me to be a perfect canidate for it.Good Luck.....Dave

  6. #6
    help13 is offline New Member
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    HI MPVT/DAVE
    METHADONE,I REALLY DON'T WONT TO GO THAT ROUTE JUST LIKE MORGANA SAID NOW YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH GETTING OFF OF METHADONE.I AM GOING TO TRY COLD SUNDAY AND IF THAT DOSN'T WORK THEN I WILL SEEK PROFESIONAL HELP,ITS FUNNY SEEKING HELP FROM THE PEOPLE THAT PUT ME WERE I AM TODAY.WELL I CAN'T BLAME NOBODY BUT MYSELF.
    MORGANA DO YOU THINK GRADUALLY WILL DO IT ? I JUST CAN'T HAVE THEM ARROUND I KNOW I WILL DO THEM.

  7. #7
    buffqueen297 is offline New Member
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    Hi help,I've been reading these forum's for awhile now.I'm also addicted .I always thought when I was ready to quit I'd do it by tapering down slowly.Well when I knew ahead of time I'd have to a week before I'd get more med's I tried to taper down but the minute I knew I could get more meds I did what I had and just got more.So then Plan 2 was the methadone .I found out how that plan works and you can either be on it forever or dose down on that,which they usually do too quickly at the clinic.Well lately I've been reading here about suboxone.I have found a dr. here and now I just need the courage to call and do what I need to do,QUIT.Here's the sitehttp://www.suboxone.com

    I've heard this drug doesn't get u high but u won't be sick .Hope this helps and good luck to everyone.[8D]Michelle

    michelle

  8. #8
    help13 is offline New Member
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    HI MICHELLE
    YES YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT TAPERING DOWN SLOWLY.BUT IT NEVER WORKS AS LONG AS THE PILLS ARE THERE YOU JUST KEEP DOING.SO LIKE I SAID BEFORE, SUNDAY WILL BE MY FIRST DAY.I HAVE ENOUGH TO GET ME THRU SAT AND THAT WILL BE IT I HOPE.I TOLD ALL MY FRIENDS AND THEY ARE ALL BEHIND ME 100%.SO JUST THINKING ABOUT IT FEELS LIKE **** BUT I WANT MY LIFE BACK.I CAN'T BE TRAPPED IN THIS BOTTLE ANYMORE.WELL YOU ALL WILL HERE FROM ME SOON.I WISH YOU ALL A HAPPY NEW YEARS.[|)]ANTHONY

  9. #9
    buffqueen297 is offline New Member
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    Hi help,I hope u can do it your way .I'd never try cold turkey myself.The way I felt for only 1 day w/o anything,I'll never do that again if I can help it.I heard that it's 5days to 10 days of hell going cold turkey.I also read of taking immodium ,that'll help in some way for withdrawal.I read it here so maybe you could go back and see what other people have done when they quit.Good luck and I hope it works out for u.

    michelle

  10. #10
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    I have heard good things about suboxone.You should look in to it.....Good luck..Dave

  11. #11
    help13 is offline New Member
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    I GUESS SUNDAY CAME A DAY EARLY,TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY DRY.I AM GOING THRU W/D'S.ITS LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING STUCK IN MY THROAT,BUT I AM COMMITED TO DOING THIS AND I AM READY TO DEAL WITH WHATEVER COMES MY WAY.YOU GUY'S HAVE REALLY BEEN HELPFUL.7 DAYS THATS ALL I NEED TO CLEAN MY SYSTEM OUT OF THIS BEAST,EVIL BOTTLE THAT HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE.YES RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING EVERYTHING INSIGHT BUT I HAVE THE SENSE TO KNOW NOT TO.I JUST DROPPED MY KIDS OFF WITH THERE MOTHER AND LONELYNESS IS SETTING IN,BUT LIKE JOE DIRT SAID KEEP ON KEEPIN ON LIFE IS A GARDEN DIG IT.TO ALL OF YOU I WILL KEEP YOU UP DATED ON MY MISSION.OH GOD THIS IS ONE HIGH MOUNTAIN.[|)]ANTHONY

  12. #12
    help13 is offline New Member
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    HI ANTHONY HERE THIS IS MY SECOND DAY NOW AND I AM FEELING ALL SORTS OF STUFF BUT I AM KEEPING MYSELF BUSY AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT I AM EATING.YES IT GOES RIGHT THREW ME BUT AT LEAST THERE IS SOMETHING INSIDE MY STOMACK.SO THIS MAKES IT 5 MORE DAYS TO GO.WELL I AM HOPING IT WILL BE ONLY 5 MORE DAYS.BUT I AM TRYING AND SO FAR I HAVE BEEN GOOD.ITS ONLY ONE PHONE CALL AWAY BUT NOWAY, I WILL TAKE THIS PAIN TILL I AM FREE.SO BYE FOR NOW TALK TO YOU GUYS LATTER[|)]ANTHONY

  13. #13
    MorganaLeFay is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Anthony-
    Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I haven't been online in a few days. I am glad that you are trying, I hope it is still going okay. You may be right about going cold turkey. It is so hard not to just do them if you have them around. I think that is why the dihydrocodeine thing worked for me, because it kept me from going through w/d's really bad, but it also didn't get me high. So those were easier to taper on. Do you think that you would be able to find something less potent than hydrocodone, like Tylenol 3's or something? That may be an option, at least you could taper without going through major withdrawals. You would still probably feel uncomfortable, but not near as bad as going without anything. Anyway, glad to hear that you aren't doing too bad, and hope to hear from you today.

    ~Morgana~[:X]

  14. #14
    help13 is offline New Member
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    HI MORGANA
    IT IS DAY 3 AND I THINK TODAY WAS THE MOST TESTING.BACK TO BUSSINES,DEALING WITH CUSTOMERS TACKING PHONE CALLS AND WORKING,BUT I AM HOME NOW AND STILL CLEAN.ALOT OF MY FRIENDS ARE HELPING ME GET THRU THIS.BUT I THINK THE HARDEST PART IS SLEEP.I AM SO TENSE & SHAKY.BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO AVOID PILLS.HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS IS GOING TO LAST???[|)]ANTHONY

  15. #15
    MorganaLeFay is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Anthony-
    I guess it is day 5 for you now, I hope things are still going well. From my experience, you are probably going through the worst of things right about now, or you may have already. I think usually w/d's peak at about 3-5 days, because that is just about the time that your body is completely ridding itself of any sign of the drug, and then it has to get accustomed to being without the drug; Enter really yucky witdrawals! You could probably have withdrawal symptoms up to two weeks, but don't worry, once the peak of it is over, the symptoms will start getting less and less harsh every day. Sounds like you aren't doing too bad, though, if you are still able to work and stuff. Sleeping is very difficult, I think mainly because you have nothing else to keep you busy and you're just laying there thinking about taking a pill. Some of the other withdrawal symptoms I experienced were hot/cold sweats, dizziness, headache, stomach cramps, diarrhea, and just overall fatigue. It felt like I had the flu really bad, except the only difference was that I knew it would all go away if I took a pill. That made it a lot harder. The hot/cold sweats were the worst. One minute I would be burning up hot and sweating, and the next minute I would have chill bumps all over my body, but still be sweating. I HATED it! You can get through it though, I know you can! I am so proud that you have come so far already! If you are experiencing any pain/discomfort, you could try taking just regular Tylenol, since that is probably the other medication that was in the hydros you were taking. It might help you feel a little better. Again, sorry for not getting back to you quicker, but I will check the posts again later today, hopefully I will hear from you!

    Much concern,
    ~Morgana~[:X]

  16. #16
    help13 is offline New Member
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    Hi Morgana.
    you are right about the 5th day it sucked,I got no sleep last night and my body is shaking allot.I don,t feel that bad right now,maybe it's because I am not at work.My stomach hurts only when I drink coffee so I am staying away from that as best I can,I mean you can't quit everything jesus even a simple coffee is to much these days.but otherwise I am still pill free on my 5th day.
    Thanks for checking in you are a great support.Anthony

  17. #17
    mpvt is offline Platinum Member
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    Way to go Help13, your pretty much through the worst part but be careful after a few weeks you may find yourself thinking that you could probably take a couple of pills once in awhile.This is the most dangerous time so be aware other than that good luck your going to do it.......Dave

  18. #18
    help13 is offline New Member
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    Hi dave,yes day 6 feeling alot better man.You are right about a few weeks from now because it already went threw my mind.All I got to do is think about this past week and I think that should scare me,it was not easy,but I am doing fine and feeling kinda good about this.I guess I really wanted to quit.Thanks for checking in. Anthony[^]

  19. #19
    MorganaLeFay is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Anthony-
    I am so happy for you after reading your last post, it sounds like it is going really well! You probably (hopefully) are past the worst of it now. Just remember, even when you get past the withdrawals, it takes amazing willpower to keep yourself from getting back on the pills. But it sounds like to me that you are going to do just fine! I am so glad that I can be good support for you, it is good to have friends on your side. You are in my thoughts and prayers...keep it up, you are doing great!!!

    ~Morgana~[:X]

  20. #20
    help13 is offline New Member
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    Hi Morgana,
    How are you?Well its been 10 days now and so far so good.My mind plays games with me but I'm keeping myself busy.The sleeping is getting better even though my bach still hurts.buy all in all I think I beat the demon.So thanks again for checking in.Anthony

  21. #21
    MorganaLeFay is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Anthony-
    Well, I have to say that you have done an excellent job, and you are definitely past the worst of it now. I am so happy for you! You have beat an incredible addiction, you should be very proud of yourself! The mind part is almost worse than the physical part, because even though you feel better, you still want those pills! But you have come so far already, and you have the desire to be off of them, and I think that you should be commended for your hard work. Please let me know if you ever need to talk about anything anything else, and still check in from time to time! I feel like I've made a good friend just from talking to you these few times, so I'll always be happy to hear from you! Talk to you soon!

    ~Morgana~[:X]

  22. #22
    Degania is offline New Member
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    I take around 10 hydrocodone pills per week for back & hip pain. I usually take 1 or 2 pills at a time, almost only in the evening & frequently with a drink. Sometimes I take a pill to assist me socially as they make me more relaxed & talkative. I don't particularly feel the need for a pill on a daily basis. Does this sound like an addiction to anyone?

  23. #23
    dejeneration is offline Junior Member
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    Hi there, I thought it was really brave of you guys to admit that you have a problem. I have had a problem for about 7 years now. I am only 30 years old and it's starting to control my life. I don't take very many a day, just enough to keep me buzzed, but it's the way I get them. Lie, cheat, steal...I just feel horrible. I haven't been to church in fear of feeling like a hipocrite for going and knowing I am doing bad. I just knew my family knew about my addiction, but I came out not too long ago and they were like "you dont' take that much, you aren't addicted..." i was like if you only knew. I didn't give them any information. I have gone weeks without but if I go to a friend's house and knowing they could have some is a thrill for me. I think it is now psychological and addiction. It's weird and I am so young, no kids, no husband...i would rather get high than live. Cuddle up on couch with good movie and a little buzz. This is first place I have ever told this much informaiton to. I looked into a Narconan meeting they have here in town. I have no insurance and it's probably the only way I can start. I called several places and it was minimum 8000 bucks I call in prescriptions for my dad, mom, and me and now i learned that my dad got red flagged at pharmacy -does anyone know what that means and will that get him trouble?...so it's just stealing. I feel horrible. I hope you have success and if you need a friend I am willing to stop - i just need a vent - when i confessed to my family that i needed help it was like unloading years of guilt off my shoulders, but noone took me serious. Well good luck and God Bless.

    jc

  24. #24
    RoC1909 is offline Member
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    First off. Congrats on beating your addiction Help13. I know it's a late reply but I just wanted to let you know that there are numerous people (friends, family and forum members) that are proud of what you did.

    I don't think that I could ever go "cold turkey". I went through WD's plenty of times (up to 3 days due to running out of my pills) but again, you should feel extremely proud of yourself and consider it a "milestone in life" because you can truly see and feel what life has to offer now instead of through a "drug induced haze".

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Hi degeneration,

    Sorry to hear about your addiction and the problems that it is causing you and your family. While I am not religious at all, I really don't believe that you should deem yourself worthless in asking god for help. From what I have read in regards to forgiveness, god will always be there whenever you need him. Have faith that you can conquer your personal demons and that you will "truly" start living life instead of having a need to look for "said life" in the form of a pill.

    As for your parents not believing you when you confessed about your addiction, I find that quite heartless. You are reaching out and asking for help and they don't believe you. Look at it this way, why would ANYONE want to make up a story about being a narcotic addict? Even though narcotic addiction is being classified as a true medical disorder nowadays, there still is a "notorious stigma" attached to it. I told my mother about my addiction and she completely believed me. She made no judgement about me and asked if there was anything she could do. I told her that when I am ready to TRULY make the decision to rid myself of this, I will ask. She supports me and my decisions that I have made in life whether they be good and on occasion, the bad (that marriage was a BAD ONE!! []). Like you, I am single, no kids, live alone and I feel the same way; I would rather get my "high" than live life. If and when I am completely off of narcotics, I guarantee that I will enjoy life to it's fullest and consider the time that I was addicted as a "speedbump" that was conquered and ultimately, made me a stronger and hopefully better person.

    Maybe you REALLY need to sit down and have a true "heart to heart" talk. Tell them everything that has been going on for the past seven years and the toll that it has taken on your life (and theirs as well even if they were oblivious to it). There has to be a way to let them know that you are "asking for help" and that you need their support in ridding this addiction from your life...and ultimately their's as well.

    Good luck and keep us informed of any progress.

    J

  25. #25
    dejeneration is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for the help. This is really good therapy for me, just talking. I never get to do that. I agree that i need to face my parents and let them know. I just keep thinking I can do this on my own, but my brother told me something one day. He is a super religious guy and a very big part of my life. He asked me what I wanted more out of life - i didn't say to stop living a lie. HE told me what ever is was he would hold me accountable, make sure I get what I need, support...to make it work. I think it would be easier to confess to him and have his support, ya know. I know that God will forgive me and I still pray to him here at home, I just feel like a hipocrite walking in to church knowing I am doing wrong and probably not going to stop soon. Not sure if that makes sense. I want to have all the right intentions before I start going - i just feel way to guilty after. It also puts everything in my face and i get so sad for so long. I guess the only way to get over this is to get out and start living - like you said. To stop hiding out from friends, family that love me. Thanks so much and I wish you all the greatness you can find. Thanks again. If you ever wanna chat on yahoo or something let me know. I saw you replied to another one of my posts on another board, thanks for that too.

  26. #26
    gregr88 is offline New Member
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    talk to your doctor, or if you can try Xanax to limit the wd symptems

  27. #27
    bestnana2 is offline New Member
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    Help13 - Congratulations on beating this addiction. I am proud of you. I stopped smoking 3 years ago and feel like a new person. Have had NO upper respiratory problems since then.

    Rejeneration - I'm proud that you have confessed your addiction. That is the first step. BUT, please do NOT[:I] stay away from church. If the truth were known, there's probably bigger hypocrits there than you, just remember they are closer to God than you by being in church. Who knows but God and He is the one you'll have to answer to in the end time? He is all knowing and all forgiving, but that doesn't mean you need to keep committing the wrong, even though He says we should forgive seventy times seven. Just remember, He loves you more than anyone does. He is the Judge, not us.

    Go get em'!!

  28. #28
    bobl101 is offline Junior Member
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    quote:Originally posted by buffqueen297

    Hi help,I hope u can do it your way .I'd never try cold turkey myself.The way I felt for only 1 day w/o anything,I'll never do that again if I can help it.I heard that it's 5days to 10 days of hell going cold turkey.I also read of taking immodium ,that'll help in some way for withdrawal.I read it here so maybe you could go back and see what other people have done when they quit.Good luck and I hope it works out for u.

    michelle
    bobbie lieggi

  29. #29
    dejeneration is offline Junior Member
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    I know you are so right about attending church. The church that I go to is filled with family & friends from high school. I know that if I come clean to the preacher or congregation they hopefull will not tell my friends until I am ready to tell them. I need to find a church all my own until I get to the step of coming out. The other thing is i get in church and cry for the whole hour, I hear the words and they make sense and touch me so that I can't control myself. I pray here at home, I read the Bible and the Bible does have alot of stuff on addiction and coping. I see how many hits each one of these posts have and I know that I am not alone out there, but damn it reall does feel lonely.

    30 year old female, from Texas -
    Just thought have demographics is interesting -

  30. #30
    Hunterdog is offline Member
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    dejeneration:

    I gotta tell you, there is only one kind of person in every church..... and that's a sinner. There is simply no other kind. (For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Romans 3:28). Our enemy wants more than anything else to "cut us from the flock", to separate us from other believers and cause us to feel that we have committed some sin for which there is no forgivness. Remember, he is the father of lies and there is no truth in him.

    If you confess to one of your Pastors and that Pastor makes you feel small, you're going to the wrong church. It's never a matter of..."I WAS a sinner until I got saved, and now I'm not." It's "I was a sinner...... and still am, but God is doing a work in my life that is changing me daily."

    My story is that I was a major addict for 3 years, fully functioning and fully plugged into my church all the time. I. like most people, started because of very real pain from a spinal injury." Once the problem was corrected however, I was amazed that I was unable to quit. God began to speak to me about the nature of my problem and as is His habit, He told me that He wanted to help me..... not condem me. ("For there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.") Conviction, yes but condemnation, no.

    I just want to encourage you to seek His help. There is nothing more He would rather do than to help you. He loves you more than you could ever envision.

    Be Blessed My Friend.

    Hunterdog

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