[dejeneration]

I am seriously thinking of joining a church that is my own and letting God back into my life. This forum has helped alot in working through my problems. I know i haven't talked to my family about it and still are taking a small amt of pills but daily I think I am gonna do it, I am gonna start my life anew and get out there and live. I heard something that made total sense and you may or may not be able to take this away and use in life but it made total sense to me. Will Smith of all ppl quoted this on Oprah the other day and he used it about dating, but I think it is a good quote for life...

When something happens in a relationship, life and things change think of it as a death, you mourn that time of your life for a small period of time and then a new birth happens, you accept it and move on. You don't worry about getting back to that place you once were because it will never happen and will consume your life - you find the new and make it work

that was my biggest problem, Remembering how much fun I used to have and wanting to get back to that exact same state of mind, body and life.


God Bless and Keep it up guys! You are my inspiration!

[Dee19652]

Hi Help,
I was reading a little bit on what's been happening, my husband and I had a friend who also was hooked on oxycodin. He had 3 kids and tried on his own to go cold turkey Super Bowl Weekend, he took his own life with a shot gun. I don't want to scare you but just want to help so I thought I would share my story with you. The Doc said he should have weened himself off of the drug as you can go into a depression and even worse. So please take into consideration to maybe cut yourself down to a couple of pills a day than down to one and one every other day and do it that way please. I hoped I helped Good Luck!! You can do it and I'm proud of you. Dee

Dee

[scubablt]

Please give me feedback about Pain Rx. withdrawals:

[V] To me, it is the worst thing a person can go thru! I would rather die than suffer the pain of w/ drawals!! [xx(] Literally!!! It is like a living Hell [}]... I want to die every time I run out of Pain Rxs and go thru w/ drawls. You should try to do whatever you can to avoid running low or out of your Pain Rxs... anything. I am too addicted, weak, pitiful and undisciplined to make it thru the entire month w/out running out of my beloved Pain Rxs! I double up on the dosage after I get them filled, and then I run out way too soon in the month... and then I suffer... big time suffer...it is SSSOOO BAD!!!

I wanted to commit suicide many times... I thank God when it was finally OK and time to get my refills. It was like getting a new life when I was able to again take, chew up (OxyContin!!) and swallow the "fruit of the gods" and stop the pain and the [}] devilish [}] feel of withdrawals! I would be willing to do just about anything during w/ drawals to stop the horrible and gut-wrenching pain and feelings -- lie, cheat, steal, rob, Dr. Shop, go to different ER's, take other persons's Rxs, etc... anything. I would have prostituted my male body for some Pain Rxs if anyone would have wanted me and paid me in my Pain Rxs!!... and I am not all that bad looking, and I am very well hung (just a side note), but how do you go about doing that? I guess it is not a viable, safe option.

I wanted to go to a Pharmacy and rob it of Pain Rxs... but I never went that far... thank God. I would spend all day for a week at a time going to different ER's, Dr. clinics, Hospitals, 24-Hour Prima Care type clinics, etc. looking for some help w/ Pain Rxs. I could make up the best stories imaginable. I would spend all day some days going from clinic/ER to Clinic/ER. I would call in sick at work and hit the streets. I will spend an entire paycheck paying clinic fees and Rx costs to just stop the withdrawals. I got it bad! I often think I would sacrifice my 1st born child to stop the HORRIBLE painn of w/drawals. NO, I would not really do that!

Does anyone else relate to this, or is just me? Am I the only one who battles this horrible disease and sickness like this? Please give me some feedback and offer me some help, hope, and advice. Please. Just reply here and I will read it.

Thanks, Lee [B)]

Keep the Faith & trust the RXS!!! In SCUBA: Don't hold your breath, and come up slow blowing bubbles. Also: God created WOMEN for MEN... PTL!

[bobl101]

Degen, you are NOT a sinner. You just have a problem kicking a habit that started with pain and your Dr. When I leave church, I feel better. I pray every night for the strength to get through this addiction. I refuse to go through w/d when my prescription runs out I buy the pills. There are so many new things out there to help us. Suboxone being one of them. Just reading everyones entries tells me that we are not alone. The first thing i do when I wake up is sign on this site. I feel like I have new friends with a lot in common with myself. I am a 38yr old female from Jersey, married w/2 kids 19 & 3. I know I have to kick this soon because it is killing me Financially & mentally.But I am here if anybody needs to talk.
Bobbie

[Hunterdog]

bobl101:

Just curious....... you state that you feel better once you've left church. Why do you suppose that is? I'm really, really not trying to put any guilt trip on you... just wondering, that's all.

As for me, day 12 of cold turkey. Still having difficulty sleeping (1 1/2 hours last night) and a touch of restless legs. The Catapress #2 is really helpful. Withdrawals have been really minor uzing the patch.

Hope things work out well for you and that you are successful in getting clean. I'm amazed at how clear my mind is once the Norco's got out of my system.

Good luck my friend.




Hunterdog

[RoC1909]

Hunterdog,

A BIG congrats on making it as far as you have! Seems like you are over the worst of the WD's. As mentioned in another post, the Clonidine can REALLY HELP with WD's. I was taking the 0.1mg tabs and felt fairly well. I also had other meds to help with the "other" symptoms of withdrawls (Lonox, Hydroxyzine, Ativan) but it seemed that the Clonidine was the one that really did the trick. I didn't take the Ativan because for some reason, Benzo's and me do not get along .

I only did this route for a few days to a week until I saw a pain specialist. I am on Avinza (90mg Sustained Release Morphine Sulphate) once a day and Gabitril 4mg twice a day. Obviously, being on the Avinza I have no WD's, but what I find amazing is that I can EASILY go over the 24 hour point between taking them and still feel no WD's whatsoever. I guess "Sustained Release" really does mean that


I doesn't help too much with the pain (hence the addition of Gabitril) but it at least takes the "edge off" so that I can function better. My body is much to narcotic tolerant for anything to work really, really well. My doctor did mention Methadone for the pain but I said "No freakin way". I'll stay on what I am already taking. He also mentioned that the Avinza was more potent than Oxy's which really took me by suprise.

Again, congratulations on ridding your life of this evil and definitely keep us informed of your progress. Your situation only confirms the fact that if someone wants off of these pills bad enough, you have proven that it can be done.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Help13,

You are the only one who can decide whether or not you can kick your addiction. The members of this board open themselves up to everyone reading day in and day out and a lot of the stories confirm the fact that narcotic addiction can be beat. I would say that the first thing to do is to tell your doctor what is going on. Once that is done, a assessment can be made in regards to the next step. As mentioned in this thread and many others, there are drugs available that can help with the WD's but what it ultimately comes down to is whether you are serious about kicking this habit OR are feeling this way now that you may not have any drugs and are going through WD's. I defintely know for a fact that when I had pills, I didn't think about quitting but once I ran out and felt the "living hell" of narcotic WD's, I cursed myself up one side and down the other wondering HOW I got myself into a position such as this and vowing that I will kick this habit......that is until the next refill. You need to seriously ask yourself if this is what you want to do and then stick to it.

J

Regards,

J

[bently]

help13,
I've also have been taking hydro's for almost 2yr's due to a lower back injury and have always exceeded my req.dose of 6per/day to 8-10 usually.I also have on numerous occasions had to endure the wretched 5/days of w/drawl!It finally does subside but,I am always on the couch for the first 3/days!It defenitely sucks!
Wish you the best-
Sincerily,
Rich-

Pain is relentless.

[jr091940]

Hi there!
I totally understand what you're going through, all too well. I've been taking vicoprofen/vicodens for the past 2 years since the birth of my daughter. I had a c-section and they put me on vicodin for the recovery. (Please read my post / jr091940) Anyhow, I've been off the pills for 13 days now. I looked high and low for a way to get through it without having much money to afford to do so. I initially was wondering how in the world I could come off the pills without anyone knowing, realizing that wasn't going to happen I started opening up (first my husband, the hardest part, then parents, sister, and a couple very close friends). They've all been extremely supportive. So I ended up finding a dr. who put me in the hospital on methadone for 3 days. ("they" say the first 72 hours are the hardest"). He sent me home with nothing, told me I should start feeling better in 7-10 days but did not tell me what I'd go through. (I'm NOT HAPPY with this dr. at all) Needless to say the first week home was the absolute worst, I'm just being honest. All they symtoms hit at some point. First the severe depression, then the shakes, hot/cold flashes, diarreah, major fatigue, HIGH Anxiety, and the worst part of all at this point is no sleep. (and of course want to rip your skin off or jump out of it) I've tried everything to help sleep (teas, baths, over the counter sleep aids) and nothing helped. So I finally called my regular dr. and she gave me 2 ambien just so I could get a good nights rest. (this was last night, day 12)I feel at this point that is all I really need to feel better. Depression is almost completely gone, except for now I must work on living everyday without the buzz, but things are definately looking up. Ambien didn't work last night (put me right to sleep but I still woke up 3 hours later wide awake and stayed that way) but I'll try again tonight. Still sweating it out a bit at night but I just keep hoping that by the end of the week I'll be better and have all this ******** out of me. Day by day it's getting much better, that's all I can say. My regular dr. has offered me prescriptions for "happy pills" or anything I want to help me but I'm insistant on doing it as naturally as possible. I asked for only 2 ambien and told her to NOT refill that no matter what just because I HAVE to sleep. I have a very active 2 year old and I"m on my own with her during the day. So......... please keep your chin up, it will be a rough couple weeks but just think how much better life will be when you're all through. I feel VERY positive, I know, I won't ever go back as I never would put my family, friends, and most importantly myself through this hell ever again. I just keep reminding myself what I felt like before the pills, and that was happy and normal. I"m on my way back and you'll make it to Please write back if you need to chat at anytime, it helps for me to talk about it with others who are there as well. WE CAN DO THIS!!!

[lorettaw]

quote:Originally posted by Hunterdog

bobl101:

Just curious....... you state that you feel better once you've left church. Why do you suppose that is? I'm really, really not trying to put any guilt trip on you... just wondering, that's all.

As for me, day 12 of cold turkey. Still having difficulty sleeping (1 1/2 hours last night) and a touch of restless legs. The Catapress #2 is really helpful. Withdrawals have been really minor uzing the patch.

Hope things work out well for you and that you are successful in getting clean. I'm amazed at how clear my mind is once the Norco's got out of my system.

Good luck my friend.




Hunterdog

[lorettaw]

quote:Originally posted by Hunterdog

bobl101:

Just curious....... you state that you feel better once you've left church. Why do you suppose that is? I'm really, really not trying to put any guilt trip on you... just wondering, that's all.

As for me, day 12 of cold turkey. Still having difficulty sleeping (1 1/2 hours last night) and a touch of restless legs. The Catapress #2 is really helpful. Withdrawals have been really minor uzing the patch.

Hope things work out well for you and that you are successful in getting clean. I'm amazed at how clear my mind is once the Norco's got out of my system.

Good luck my friend.




Hunterdog
What is Catapress #2?
I am planning a cold turkey this week at home. My Dr has given me Ativan in case it is too much for me, however, my son used Methadone for 4 days (20 mg pr day)and that worked well for him so I am going to ask my Dr for that instead. Just checking all my options.

[lorettaw]

[quote]Originally posted by jr091940

Hi there!
I totally understand what you're going through, all too well. I've been taking vicoprofen/vicodens for the past 2 years since the birth of my daughter. I had a c-section and they put me on vicodin for the recovery. (Please read my post / jr091940) Anyhow, I've been off the pills for 13 days now. I looked high and low for a way to get through it without having much money to afford to do so. I initially was wondering how in the world I could come off the pills without anyone knowing, realizing that wasn't going to happen I started opening up (first my husband, the hardest part, then parents, sister, and a couple very close friends). They've all been extremely supportive. So I ended up finding a dr. who put me in the hospital on methadone for 3 days. ("they" say the first 72 hours are the hardest"). He sent me home with nothing, told me I should start feeling better in 7-10 days but did not tell me what I'd go through. (I'm NOT HAPPY with this dr. at all) Needless to say the first week home was the absolute worst, I'm just being honest. All they symtoms hit at some point. First the severe depression, then the shakes, hot/cold flashes, diarreah, major fatigue, HIGH Anxiety, and the worst part of all at this point is no sleep. (and of course want to rip your skin off or jump out of it) I've tried everything to help sleep (teas, baths, over the counter sleep aids) and nothing helped. So I finally called my regular dr. and she gave me 2 ambien just so I could get a good nights rest. (this was last night, day 12)I feel at this point that is all I really need to feel better. Depression is almost completely gone, except for now I must work on living everyday without the buzz, but things are definately looking up. Ambien didn't work last night (put me right to sleep but I still woke up 3 hours later wide awake and stayed that way) but I'll try again tonight. Still sweating it out a bit at night but I just keep hoping that by the end of the week I'll be better and have all this ******** out of me. Day by day it's getting much better, that's all I can say. My regular dr. has offered me prescriptions for "happy pills" or anything I want to help me but I'm insistant on doing it as naturally as possible. I asked for only 2 ambien and told her to NOT refill that no matter what just because I HAVE to sleep. I have a very active 2 year old and I"m on my own with her during the day. So......... please keep your chin up, it will be a rough couple weeks but just think how much better life will be when you're all through. I feel VERY positive, I know, I won't ever go back as I never would put my family, friends, and most importantly myself through this hell ever again. I just keep reminding myself what I felt like before the pills, and that was happy and normal. I"m on my way back and you'll make it to Please write back if you need to chat at anytime, it helps for me to talk about it with others who are there as well. WE CAN DO THIS!!!
I am planning a cold turkey this week at home. I have been on Vicoprofen for 3 years due to fibromyalgia and am anxious to get off. My pain has gotten much better due to a natural substance I have been on since June. Also, I believe that my pain threshold has gone way down since the start of the meds. I'm not worried about being without the pills. I can't wait for that. I am scarred of the w/d's. I have set aside 5 days of staying at home with no kids. This is good timing as my job just ended due to cutbacks, so will be home till fall with no obligations. I have already gotten Ativan from my dr who so willingly fed me this poison and am going back the day before I start (plan to start Thurs the 31st) to get 4 days of methadone (20 mgs for 4 days). This is the way my son withdrew and was foggy for those days, but it really cut down on the misery. I don't plan to take the Ativan and Methadone together. Dr wanted me to taper off but one a day is worse than none. I am miserable and crabby and want it over. I have never been addicted before and it is a situation I never thought I would be in. I guess no one says "When I grow up, I want to be an addict". I have watched my son battle addiction for 11 years now and figure if he had the guts to flush the narcotics, so can I. I will never take painkillers long term again and have begged my dr not to do this to anyone else. I can't wait till Thurs to get started, but haven't told anyone but my son and a friend who is a RN (but is 30 miles away). I will of course tell my dr. Any suggestions?

[becky2]

Hi everyone.Have you sll tried suboxone?I just started for the second time today.didd it last month for a week and loved it,no w/drawls,cravings,felt great!Then my mother committed suicide and guess what?right back to the stupid pills.suboxone worked so well for me though,i just can't see any other way for myself.you can go to suboxone.com and find a dr close by.took it this morning and w/in minutes,you feel perfectly normal!I am not saying this this is the only way,but it sure does work.I am also starting drug couseling today.I too,have amll children and got addicted after having them prescribed and loved the way they helped me get thru my day.these are evil little pills as someone wrote [xx(]....BOBBIE!!!!HOW ARE YOU ???i MISS YOU!!!!HAve been meaning to write you,will do it soon.Good luck to everybody here and kudos to us for doing the best we can to beat this!!!@!have a great day everyone

[scubablt]

Please give me feedback about Pain Rx. withdrawals:

To me, it is the worst thing a person can go thru! I would rather die than suffer the pain of w/ drawals!! Literally!!! It is like a living Hell ... I want to die every time I run out of Pain Rxs and go thru w/ drawls. You should try to do whatever you can to avoid running low or out of your Pain Rxs... anything. I am too addicted, weak, pitiful and undisciplined to make it thru the entire month w/out running out of my beloved Pain Rxs! I double up on the dosage after I get them filled, and then I run out way too soon in the month... and then I suffer... big time suffer...it is SSSOOO BAD!!!
I wanted to commit suicide many times... I thank God when it was finally OK and time to get my refills. It was like getting a new life when I was able to again take, chew up (OxyContin!!) and swallow the "fruit of the gods" and stop the pain and the devilish feel of withdrawals! I would be willing to do just about anything during w/ drawals to stop the horrible and gut-wrenching pain and feelings -- lie, cheat, steal, rob, Dr. Shop, go to different ER's, take other persons's Rxs, etc... anything.

I would spend all day for a week at a time going to different ER's, Dr. clinics, Hospitals, 24-Hour Prima Care type clinics, etc. looking for some help w/ Pain Rxs. I could make up the best stories imaginable. I would spend all day some days going from clinic/ER to Clinic/ER. I would call in sick at work and hit the streets. I will spend an entire paycheck paying clinic fees and Rx costs to just stop the withdrawals. I got it bad! I often think I would sacrifice my 1st born child to stop the HORRIBLE painn of w/drawals. NO, I would not really do that!

Does anyone else relate to this, or is just me? Am I the only one who battles this horrible disease and sickness like this? Please give me some feedback and offer me some help, hope, and advice. Please. Just reply here and I will read it.

Thanks

[kuplo]

I weas hooked on Vicodin 750mg (fpr 2 years due to oral surgery). fter my addiction starteed I had to take five xtra strenth (750mg) just go get out of bed in the morning. I had 5 layed out on my night stand with a pitcher of water and a glass so that I could take them even before my feet hit the ground, 10 minutes later I was able to get out of bed.

True it was one of the worst addictions I had / wanted to quit.

I went cold turkey, and I have to admit it was the worst 7 days of my life so far. I had all the usualy sysmptoms, like no sleep, constant pain, extreme irritability (and after two years everything felt painfull, even the normal pain assiciated with strepping out of bed onto ones feet). The Doctors in the emerrgency room seemed to agree that taking those large of doses of viocins had probably brought on my diverticulitus througth constapation (often times not having a bowel movement for 2 or 4 days at a go) (I still suffer from diverticulitis but contain the pain by cutting out aoo solid food and going to a liquid diet for about 5 days *dont want them cutting 9out 8-10" of my colon*.

The 4 th or 5th day was the worst and had me wondering if it was worth calling getting online and contacting an onlin pharmacy to get another bottle of them, but I persisted, I was consumed to get off of this. I thought of every possilbe reason to get some more and how to get some more (thought of DR shopping). My street connection dried up and I found an/ 100 ES's online pharmacy that prescribed me 100 more at an inflated $202.00 price tag, that was when I realized it was too easy to get and time to quit.

By the 7th or 8th day I felt almost normal again, I no longer had the desire to get anymore (my feet didint hurt getting out of bed), and by day 8 I was in pretty much in the clear. It's now been 2 years since my addiction to them, with one relapse when I had oral surgery and the dentist prescribed me 30 vicodin pills, of which I ended up flushing 13 of them down the toilet when the pain was gone.

You can do it if you want to do it.

I must say that it was probably easier for mne since at the time I lived alone and had no relatives to visit, so I could run around the house as much as I wanted (scouring the couch cushtions to find just one pill (none found),,,,,, But again by day 7 or 9 I was through and through preserverence I've remained clean of them.

I wish you all the luck in the wold, and know that your almost there. Dont make any excuses for you, if people are going to come over, then suspend that visit no matter what till you feel right as rain without them, then have a party (with out pills of course) and be your old self. I also confieded in my partner of my taking th pills, he knew that they were described but didnt find out till much later tht I was buying them from a friends brother that was getting them in 100 pil does's for (for himself but selling them to me * good price $100/100 750mg iplls) till his DR stopped prescriving them for him as he felt he was taking too many of them, so all my connections ran dry save for the internet, which is what actually caused me to stop as it became too easy to get and my desire to actyualy stop.

I had called around to rehabs but they werr cost prohibitive due the lax of insrnance so I had no choice but to go cold turkey which I did.


I wish only the best.

P.S. It did affect my work, I would often drive half way down the mountina from my house (60 mile drive to work), and turn around half way and go home with the attitutde of not wanting to go to work and just calling in sick. WAS NOT A GOOD EXPERIENCE, though I did manage to hold onto my job.

Goodluck, keep clean, we all know you can do it if your mind is put to it really.

[laneywest]

Guys there is a drug for opitae addicted people such as us...its called Revia....Check it out on line ok? Love and hugs to all thats trying to shake this...I was hooked on hydrocodone...taking triliptol and zoloft too...feeling fantastic

[Misaddicted]

No Sympathy Please. I just need to let it all out, and I have nowhere to turn. I just turned 30 and I have been addicted to Hydrocodone 10/325 for over three and a half years now. I'm not one of those people who got in an accident and was in pain and then found myself addicted. No, I have absolutely no excuse. My father has a very painful disease and his doctor wouldn't prescribe hydro to him, so I started getting them for him on the Internet. I would take them here and there. Seemed totally harmless. Well, to make a long story short, I'm up to 40 a day, and I know it's killing me. The addiction has such a grasp on me that it's like I don't even care that my liver is probably hanging on by a thread. I have been married to the most magnificent man you could imagine for 13 years in July. High School Sweethearts. I've been with him since I was 14. I cannot hardly live with what I have put him through and he doesn't even know 99.9 percent of it. He only knows that I have an addiction issue, but he thinks I'm handling it. My mom and dad's hearts would be totally crushed if they even knew that I ever took one pill. They don't even think I drink. They love me so much. I'm the apple of their eyes. I can do no wrong in their minds. I'm sorry if I'm making tons of mistakes as I'm writing this because I can hardly see due to the tears that are flowing. I have quit as many times as I've started, which is probably reaching a hundred. Hydrocodone seduced me and trapped me in. When I first started taking it, it helped me get things done. I was invincible. I got my work done twice as fast as usual. Now, three and a half years later, I'm sitting here at 2:38 a.m. in the morning with a job that was due yesterday and I've made up yet another excuse for why I didn't get my job turned it yet. What has happened to me? I was such an innocent small-town girl and now I'm a low-life drug addict who lies every single day to everyone she knows. Damn these online pharmacies. As far as I'm concerned, they're my drug dealers and I'm their best buyer. Do the math. I take 40 a day now, so that would mean I'm up to 1,200 a month, which of course I don't take that many because, one, I can't afford that many; two, the supply isn't always available. So I go about a week taking 40 a day; then I go about a week taking none and taking Temgesic when I can get my hands on it to help with the withdrawals; then I'm back at it again. It's a vicious cycle, and I feel it is one that is only going to end in death. My mom, my dad and my husband would DIE INSIDE if I were to die, especially because of something so unnecessary. I don't want to sound like I'm all that important, but we are such a close family (I live three miles away from my parents) that I don't think they could bear the fact that I died such an unnecessary death, but obviously the thought of their pain isn't enough for me to stop. I hate myself. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF. I HATE MYSELF. I don't want to die, and I would never kill myself on purpose only for my family's sake, but the drugs are going to do it for me. I can't tell my parents. My sister and brother are losers: one a drunk; the other a crackhead. I'm the "good" one. I've never told my parents anything because I don't want them to think they failed with me. They think I was a virgin when I got married; they don't know I smoke; they don't know I drink; and they certainly don't know I'm a drug addict. Anyway, I don't even know why I'm writing all this. It just seems to be a big waste of time for you to read a story about someone who has nothing to offer. The only thing I can say is if you are on this board looking to find places to get drugs, I urge you - NO, I DEMAND - stop it NOW. If you haven't gotten addicted now, get the hell away from these sites if you're looking for drug suppliers and don't ever come back. I swear to you, it will ruin your life. All your hopes and dreams will be shattered, and you will hate yourself just as I do myself. Please, for the sake of your family and the sake of your sanity and the sake of your health, know that you will one day look back and realize that life was SO MUCH BETTER BEFORE YOU STARTED TAKING DRUGS. I know this, but yet it doesn't stop me. I know all the cons, but it doesn't stop me. I know that when I am on a "hydro holiday" how much better and happier I feel. I start to smile again; I start to sing and dance again (my two passions in life before my addiction), but that dang drug calls me back and I can't JUST SAY NO. If you've read this far, I thank you for taking the time to read a little tidbit of my life, and I wish you all the best in life and I hope you make your dreams become realities. Don't do what I did. With the deepest sincerity, Nicole

[mpvt]

Hi Nicole,you are important and don't ever forget that.Your playing a game that can have 2 endings.One is you die and ruin everyones life that loves you or you due something about it.Your taking a fair bit of narcotics daily so you can forget about trying to taper down by yourself.You need to go to your doctor or a methadone clinic and tell them you want to detox with the help of methadone,you don't want to go on maintinance you want to detox.There is also buprenorphine (akasuboxone,subutex,bup) this is taken in a sublingual pill and you only need to take every couple of days and then you start your detox.You have to except the fact that your going to need help with this,perhaps it's time to sit down with your husband and explain what has happened to you.Your not a bad person,you have fallen victim to narcotic addiction and that's a tuff life to live.With me,I was addictted for 25 years and I'm only 42.I was an addict before my chronic pain came into the picture,but I did have 4 lower lumbar surgeries.I took everything from codiene to morphine.At first it was great,I could work 12 hrs a day,happy all the time,screw with confidence ect.After 4-5 years I couldn't get that feeling no matter how much I took.I fell into a deep dark depression.I didn't care about anyone or anything,I was full of hate and had a chip on my shoulder like you wouldn't believe.3 years ago I tried methadone and to make this to long already story short, my depression is gone I don't crave and abuse narcotics.I do have to take methadone everyday but with my pain and addiction it's the choice I've made.Methadone may work for you to Nicole.I hate to hear how your suffering because I know the feeling all to well.It's time for you to stand up and do something about this devil that has you by the neck.Let me know how you make out or e-mail if you want more info ect but do something and do it for you not for your husband or your mom and dad but for you because your the most important thing,right..Good luck...Dave

You can do this!!!!!

Always consult a MD first

[Hunterdog]

Dave:

Great post. For me,.....today is day number 30 of being clean. The pain is still there, but is managable. I far outweighs the alternative of addiction.

Hunterdog

[poohbare1978]

Anthony,
I hope you are still pill free. I had a really bad addiction problem with hydros for about 6 months and then I tried to quit cold turkey. I dont think I have ever been through something quite so hard. I still took one every so often and now I take them daily again....I usually take them twice a day compared to 10 a day. I have a major surgery in my near future and I dont know how I will detox after all the strong pain medicine they will give me.

[linguapohombre]

SCUBABLT :Believe it or not,you are a typical addict witrh normal wd's .The higher quantity you take ,the worse the withdrawal is .You have to start taking less and less each time you take the opiates .The body needs more and more each few days to feel euphoria .Eventually someone could be taking 1000 milligrams of oxy instead of 5 .That would produce wd's so bad I dont even want to think about it .You probably have a high tolerance which means you need several pills to get euphoria .You have a big problem and you need to deal with it .You can take about a fourth of your normal dose and avoid wd's .You will feel "normal"that way,like someone who doesnt use opiates.The wd's will come back but so much less intense.It takes willpower but it feels so good to not have wd's.If you are in wd trying to sleep and you get that ichy weird feeling especially in your legs,take a quarter of your regular dose and you can sleep.Cut down slowly.Its hard to do but many people do it when they see that they have no life .They are slaves to the drugs.You will eventually arrive at a half dose to avoid wd,s and if you go through wd,s when your half dosing,your withdrawal will be so much less intense and those 60 pills will last you a month instead of a few days.The best thing you can do is taper down as I have explained and get your tolerance down.The wd's will be so much easier to deal with.Then if you can quit ,after about 4 to 6 days,you should feel very little wd's or mabey none.You have to realize you have a problem and do something about it .Can you imagine if you got so crazy and did rob or harm someone and went to jail .You talk about cold turkey.A week in jail would suck but you would get cured but what about the consequences .You need to taper down and try to quit . And by the way ,if you can quit for a few days,do not take a high dose because 5 or 6 pills at a time may kill someone who hasnt built up a tolerance .Read through all the posts here .Get really good schooled and deal with your problem.Most people dont take opiates and they are fine.Good luck..

[undrtkr]

I am a 35 year old professional male, married with two kids. I wear a suit and tie everyday to work. I was taking 15 to 20 10/500 Hydrocodones a day plus I had a prescription of 60 morphine pills that I took during a month. I, too, upon deciding it was time to quit used to frequent this board for inspiration. Although I never wrote in, I did read all of the posts and figured that I you could do it so could I.
The addiction with my got so bad that I could not do anything without have at least 5 or 6 Hydros in me. I would not go anywhere without my bottle of pills. They were always on my person at all times. Days before I would actually run out, I would spend countless hours trying to figure out how to get more. I had two permanent doctors that prescribed them for me and I doctor shopped several doctors a month to get more. I would see these doctors for one timers. I would travel far away from my town because the doctors here knew me.
It actually started out simple enough. I had sever back problems. I have two ruptured discs in L4 and L5 with impingement in the spinal canal. I have arthritis setting in in my hips and pelvic joints. Every doctor that I had seen for this suggested surgery, but at 33 who wants back surgery. So I went to a pain specialist. In the beginning it was great, the pain was gone. The about a year into the treatment, the pain was back, only worse. I took more and more painkillers to mask the pain that I was feeling. I had totally subscribed to the notion of better living through modern medicine. My doctor kept telling me as long as you take them as prescribed, that you won’t get addicted. I think that anyone that takes this drug for ANY extended time will get hooked.
I finally figured I was ready to get myself clean. I called all of my family together and told them what I had been doing and how much I was taking. To say the least, they were shocked. No one suspected a thing. The I went to my doctor and fessed up. I told him everything. How much I was taking, the doctor shopping, everything. He put me on Subutex. In my town, there was not a pharmacy here that had Subutex. I had to wait for two days before I could get it. Those two days were hell. The sweats, the chills, the vomiting, diarrhea, restless legs, no sleep. You guys that go through it cold turkey has a lot of guts. When I started on the Subutex, it was great. The withdrawal symptoms went away completely. I have been on the Subutex for a month, because it does contain some sort of pain reliever.
I decided enough was enough. If I was going to get clean, I needed to be ALL clean. Last week I stopped the Subutex. It was a challenge, but not like the Hydro withdrawals. I have been totally clean for 1 week now and everyday it gets easier and easier. I still WANT the Hydros, but it’s much easier to say no to then now.
The reason that I am writing, finally. Is to let those people that read this board and do not write in, to let them know that yes it is possible to kick this habit. It will take some determination and resolve on your part, but you too, can do it. You will need support from friends, family and talk to your doctor. He is there to help you. Your doctor doesn’t want you on these. With the Hydros, that much acetaminophen can really harm your liver. Anyway, I have babbled on long enough. Thanks to everyone on this board.
A couple more points, if I may, I have noticed that the pain is no where near what I remember it to be. Since I have been off of the painkillers, the pain in my back has become manageable with Tylenol and warm compresses. Go figure? It seems that body does have its own was of dealing with the pain without outside stimuli. One other thing, has anyone out there going through this had a strange smell constantly in their nostrils? Today is the first time since quitting have I not had a constant smell lingering in my nose. I was just curious. Thank You all, once again. And just for the record, I hold myself 100% accountable for my addiction, it was I who took more than prescribed, It was I who bounced from doctor to doctor to get it. I hold no animosity to my doctors, they were doing what they thought was right.

[sellersis]

Hello all, I am an alcohol and drug counselor at a Rescue Mission in North Carolina. For 8 months now I have been abusing painkillers such as Vicodin and Oxycontin. Recently (4 mos.ago) I ran into a fairly large amount of Methadone 10mg. I started off taking 2 or 3 a day, and before I knew it I was eating about 6 a day. I simply could not function without it. After several weeks I decided to see a doctor and come clean about my drug abuse. The doctor started me out on Klonopin 2mg. and clonidine .2mg, as well as Wellbutrin to level off the bad attitude that comes along with Wd's. This treatment went well and I was even able to get 4 weeks clean time. But, the inevitable happened. I once again ran into a large quanity of methadone. Three days ago I ran out of the Mtd's and a I am now back in the same situation, taking the Klonopin, Clonidine, and wellbutrin. I hope this cycle will end this time.
What a hypocrite I am, teaching relapse prevention classes to hundreds of addicts who have no idea that their counselor has a drug abuse problem just as bad as theirs. I appreciate the encouragement that I find on these forums. Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that I would have the strength to end this seemingly hopeless cycle.

[mpvt]

It just proves that addiction has no boundries.It doesn't care if your black or white,rich or poor,educated or not.Addiction can sneak up on you before you even realize it.A lesson learned here for people who believe that addicts are the bottom of societies barrel......Dave

Always consult a MD first

[sellersis]

You are so right! It doesn't matter who you are or how educated you are, addiction can happen to anyone. Addiction to me is being in bondage to a powerful force that doesn't want to let you go. The monkey on our backs will get too heavy as it grows and feeds upon the lust and desires of our heart, and then the monkey will get so big and so heavy that it will weigh us down and bring us to a place of utter misery.

I'm tired of that fat monkey on my back, its time for him to jump off.

As I teach these classes day after day my heart and soul longs for freedom from this deadly force that parades my every thought.

I'm gonna stick with the Klonopin and Wellbutrin. Tomorrow I will be going back to the Doctor for a prescription for Ambien. My sleeping patterns have been way out of line for several weeks now, its time to end this dreadful beast.

Godspeed to you all, hang in there. No one said the Wd's would be fun.

And remember, we din't get ourselves into this mess in one day, so take it easy and be patient. If you can find something to take the edge off (Klonopin or some type of Benzos), I honestly believe every one of us can beat this thing.

Thank you all for the encouragement that I find here.

[mpvt]

Hang in there Sellersis.It won't be long and your going to feel like a brand new person.You felt so ****ty for so long that you've forgotten what feeling good is.Keep us up to date,you can do this.....Dave

Always consult a MD first

[ACE12]

YES YOU CAN DO IT! IT IS NOT FUN BUT IT CAN BE DONE ON YOUR OWN, IF YOU ARE OTHERWISE HEALTHY. I HAVE BEEN ON PK'S FOR 4 YEARS MY WIFE FOR 3. WE FOUND SOMETHING THAT WORKED FOR US AND I FEEL OBLIGATED TO SHARE B/C THIS IS THE 1ST TIME THAT WE HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR THIS LONG 2 MONTHS AND WE HAVE QUIT A # OF TIMES NEVER MADE IT THIS FAR AND FOR THE 1ST TIME IN ALMOST HALF A DECADE I FEEL FREE I AM NOT WITHDRAWING AND I FEEL VERY NORMAL AND WE ARE NOT GOING BACK! NOW DOWN TO IT, I CAN'T PROMISE THIS WILL WORK FOR YOU BUT IT HAS WORKED FOR MYSELF, MY WIFE AND HER BROTHER.

1. TELL SOMEONE!!!!!!
YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO VERBALLY CONFIDE IN SOMEONE THAT CAN POSSIBLY RELATE BUT THEY DON'T HAVE TO HAVE BEEN DOWN THAT ROAD THEY JUST NEED A GOOD EAR.
IF YOU DONT HAVE A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER THAT CAN KEEP THEIR YAPPER SHUT CALL VARIOUS DRUG HOTLINES THEY ARE ALL OVER ONLINE
WE KEPT IT SECRET TO OTHERS B/C OF NOT WANTING TO DISAPPOINT FAMILY LOSE JOBS AND MANY OTHER OBVIOUS REASONS

2. THE FIRST WEEK IS THE WORST! IF YOU HAVE BEEN ON HYDRO, OXY, WHATEVER FOR MORE THAN A VERY SHORT PERIOD OF TIME IT IS NOT GOING TO DISAPPEAR IN 3 OR 4 DAYS. THE 1ST 3-4 DAYS ONCE THERE BEHIND YOU YOU WILL PROBABLY STILL FEEL LIKE SH*T. BUT YOU WILL BE MORE FUNCTIONAL THE BIGGEST PROB. WE FOUND WE AFTER THE 1ST 3-4 DAYS YOU FEEL SO WEAK AND TIRED OF ACHES, FEELING HOT & COLD, DIAHRREA ETC. YOU WANT TO GIVE IN BUT DONT!

3. http://rational.org/html_bullets/Bullet1.html READ THIS SITE AND IF NEED BE, GET THE BOOK! THIS IS A NON AA NON NA APPROACH. IT IS NOT ABOUT DAY TO DAY RECOVERY IT IS ABOUT SQUASHING THE BEAST FOREVER!!!!

4.DO NOT TO SUBSTITUTE!!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO PAIN LIKE ULTRAM DARVOCET WHATEVER THIS WILL PROLONG THE PAIN. I DID USE VALIUM AND XANAX FOR THE 1ST 5 DAYS JUST TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP. BUT THE 1ST NIGHT I COULD GET MORE THAN FOUR OR FIVE HOURS OF SLEEP I STOPPED THAT IMMEDIATELY. NO NEED TO PICK UP SOMETHING ELSE.

5. I AM NOT SUGGESTING YOU TAKE THE SLEEPING DRUGS I'M JUST STATING THAT IS WHAT WE DID FOR SANITY PURPOSES.

6. GOOD LUCK YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! AND TWICE AGAIN READ IT!!!!!!

7. http://rational.org/html_bullets/Bullet1.html

8. http://rational.org/html_bullets/Bullet1.html

quote:Originally posted by help13

HI,I AM NEW HERE.I HAVE READ ALOT OF THE MESSAGES YOU ALL HAVE POSTED.I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I DEPEND ON PAINKILLERS TO GET ME THRU THE DAY.I HAVE BEEN ON HYDROC FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW TAKING AT LEAST 10 A DAY.TODAY IS MY FIRST DAY WITHOUT ANY AND MY MIND IS ALREADY THINKING WHO DO I CALL TODAY,BUT I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO CALL NOBODY.AND I AM REALLY SCARED OF THE W/D. CAN I REALLY KICK THIS ADDICTION?

[rdgjun]

I once too used to be addicted to oxycontin, and hydrocodone. I took them both together for 5 years, i was taking them for my back hermiated disc. After 5 years I decided I di'dnt want these pills to ruin and ruile my life any longer. It gets to the point where all you think about is when your next refill is, will you have enough before you run out. I knew when I started to count my pills it was time to stop, besides the fact I was killing myself. I tried 3 times cold turkey without any luck at all. The wd's were way too painfull. I would not recommend cold turkey to nobody. I also would not recommend methadone to anyone. Methadone clinics charge alot, you have to show up everyday, you can stay on that as long as you want, but why do that, than your hooked on methadone, which is harder to get off of than oxycontin or hydrocodone. I found a Doctor that saved my life. He put me on Suboxone. I felt no pain at all. What a miracle drug. You can take it on a outpatient basis also. Only thing about Suboxone, you have to be in the first stages of withdrawals before you start, and dont take too much, for it has a safety med in it so you wont abuse Suboxone, or it will put you into withdrawals. But I was greatly suprised. You can still function, work, function around people. This drug will be the life saver for opiate addicts in the near future. It literally saved my life. Suboxone is the right way to go.

[PoppyQueen]

Hi rdgjun. There's a few of us on this board who are on Suboxone. You can read the thread "Suboxone" on this page. I've been on for 2 months and have started my taper yesterday. I went from 8mg. to 6mg. How long have you been on?

Poppy

[mandilouwho]

[}]Hey all....My name is Mandi and today is the 1st day that I have not been able to attain any sort of hydro product for about a year now and I am about to lose my mind. I am chilling, sweating, and my mind is nowhere but there...that place that you go where you would rather knaw your arm off rather then to go without. I never took any specific amount, however, my husband (of only a week might I add) said that my problem has gotten worse over the last 6 months. I am the mother of a four year old who needs a mom that does not mess with this kind of **** and I dunno what to do. We have been discussing the weaning thing as I can tell by today that the "cold turkey" way is not for me. Has anyone tried anything that has been easy or is this not something that applies. I can tell you right now, I absolutely cannot go to the meth clinic! I know to many peopal that already go there and my addiction is the best kept secret in the world. They only keep me on that "opiod" happy, therefore you would have to be a genius to tell that I was on anything...even at my buzzies. What should I do. Where do you start with this?

[BSGjunkie]

Mindi,

I know you stated you don't take a specific amount each day, but what is a normal day for you? Knowing your dosage can really help us help you.

Normally a 25% reduction a week is a solid taper plan. You can even speed it up to every 5 days if you wish. During a taper you'll want to stretch out your dosages throughout the day. Leave a small amount to take just before bed time, as its very hard to sleep if you're body starts WD. You also need to stay very focused on the taper. Have you husband monitor your use. Let him control the pills, and your intake. We all know what its like in that moment of weakness, when no matter your will power, the high is too good to resist and you have to take a few more to retain that feeling. Don't let those weak moments mess it up for you. Don't allow yourself that oppurtunity - let you husband take care of it.

You could also try to locate some Suboxone and use it to get past the WD. Using Sub for a period of a week to 10 days after you quit can be beneficial. You will experience very little to no WD symptoms. The one downside is its very expensive and hard to obtaih. If this is a route you'd consider, speak with a doctor, or at the least one of us, before starting to medicate yourself with it.

Depending on your daily intake, cold turkey may be easier then you think. A weekend getaway with your husband may be all you need to get your out into the clear.

Congrats on wanting to quit. It is the hardest part of the process. Keep us informed and feel free to ask any questions you may have.

Junkie